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Repeated Infidelity, feeling very alone and hurt
(Preview)
My AH has been an alcoholic our entire marriage and has definitely progressed the past few years, he has rarely strung more than a few months of sobriety together and goes out on bingers for what used to be weeks is now months. In the past 2 years, he has spent a cumulative 2 months at home, only 10 days in...
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Trying2heal
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8
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2616
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discouraged, overwhelmed, confused
(Preview)
hi my friends, i am feeling very discouraged, overwhelmed, confused. praying for clarity for far too long. turning / turned 'things' over to my higher power a long time ago and continue to today. don't see answers. the disease is so powerful and affects so many. and progressive.................
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runi
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4
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641
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Coping with impact on children
(Preview)
I asked my AH to leave 2 years ago after he became very ill - delusional, paranoid, aggressive. He's since spent a year at rehab and now lives alone in a flat near to me and the children spend every weekend with him. They know they don't have to go if they don't want to but would actually rather be with their d...
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kate39
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6
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618
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What is toxic
(Preview)
i was at a meeting today and someone was talking about 'toxic' people and having no tolerance for them and getting away from them. dealing with addictive behaviors how and when do you know the difference. what is the difference between the 'disease ' and 'toxic' .... i don't want to be around toxi...
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runi
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7
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821
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Another Day
(Preview)
Hi Gang!! Love you all and just want to let you know my feelings right now. I'm getting better every day. I'm going to go visit my sister this weekend and let some balloons go. Yep that's what I want to do......over the Colorado River. I have to get Will's belongings this afternoon and I'm sure that's no...
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Cathyinaz
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5
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547
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Crisis 2
(Preview)
My son pushed his father past his limit tonight. My husband said no more. My son has been an alcoholic/drug abuser for many years. He is very antagonistic toward his father; almost blaming him for any issues in his life. we pushed him into a 4 week rehab about a year ago. He was using the day after he got hom...
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Bayley
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12
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803
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Hello needing help
(Preview)
Found an Al anon group here in my neighborhood. My husband just walked out on me. Im scared that he would get himself into trouble drinking in a bar. Haven't contacted the Al anon here... Too scared that my husband would make a scene if he finds out. I married a wonderful person. But it changes right away o...
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TryingToHoldOn
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8
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644
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Spiritual awakening!!!
(Preview)
Wow. This program blows me away. I've recently been led to awareness acceptance and I'm filled with such hope right now.
There is a flawed human on the fringes of my life who is the figure of hate resentment and anger by a large group of people and my close friend is one of them. I've mostly stayed out of co...
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el-cee
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17
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751
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New to this, I don't want my daughters to become alcoholics, here I am...
(Preview)
Well at long last, here I am! I have been married to an alcoholic for 20 years. He was an alcoholic when I met him in College but just thought it was how all college guys were and assumed he would grow out of ir. Iguess my eyes were really opened about 10 years into our marriage. Finally noticing the hidden bo...
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mamaboo2
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3
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590
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crisis
(Preview)
HELP. My daughter is psychotic and was admitted to a mental unit yesterday for attacking her son and me and the mental ward is going to let her out and she is going to hitch hike to Colorado for tomorrow's marijuana holiday of 4/20 and I don't know what to do anymore. She is detached from reality and cros...
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churchlady62
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11
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994
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Does it get easier?
(Preview)
Does it ever stop? I just want to live a normal life with my son. I dont want to be yelled at for not believing him. And then that be the reason it pushs me away so i dont want to see or hear him. But then my AH blame me for his drinking bc my son and I are not around. Its not fair i have to be the one spending all this m...
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Mama86
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7
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597
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Trying to refrain/detach- don't know how to talk to my A
(Preview)
Hello, I am trying to refrain/detach and not get angry and ask my A about "when its it gonna stop". He is not having success in the weaning process and he does not want to be drinking. This relapse has been a month and a couple days now. Our 1st baby is due in 27 days or less, time is running out. My mom and o...
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LoveNHope
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9
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761
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Need your ESH
(Preview)
Due to Al-Anon, I have been able to live with my active AH. I don't want to, but I cannot support myself and my teen son by myself, so I embrace whatever I can so that I can focus on me and not my AH. I have known him to be "dry-drunk," clean, and lately, what I call secret drinking. Drinking just enough to get hi...
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PosiesandPuppies
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18
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791
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does anyone know how to resize meeting site page on forum on their computer ..
(Preview)
when I try to attend meetings the display on my computer settings must be ? off ? or something .. I can't see whose in the room .. the list . it's cut off on my end because page is too big .. not sure at all what to do .. wondering if anyone has had this experience and can help ? would be very grateful ..
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MeTwo2
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3
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481
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Why our program works
(Preview)
Although I've been active in Al-Anon for a couple of years and my life is fairly serene now, I'm amazed that I keep getting new insights. I wanted to share my latest one with this wonderful forum. I was just reading an article about various approaches to treating alcohol use disorder. The article had...
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Freetime
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5
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603
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Venting/update
(Preview)
For those of you that remember my AH has been really out of control lately. I made it to my first F2F meeting this week which was great. Kind of a weird experience for me but positive and I will go back.
This week he spent more on our (my credit card) and took more money out of our joint account. I am taking th...
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VickiR
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3
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556
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Need support, devastated
(Preview)
Hi there, My partner had a relapse almost a month ago, and I am due to have our first child in 4 weeks (or less). What was supposed to be the happiest time in our lives, has been a shit show. Things got ugly last week, I had to call the police on him and then I stayed at his mother's house. She and her husband a...
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LoveNHope
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18
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787
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Death of my alcoholc
(Preview)
My big sister died. Het body finally succoming to a lifetime of alohol abuse.
She died alone with her family not knowing until days after....We knew it would end badly and I'd grieved for a sober big sis so many times. I sincerely thought, because of years of grief, the loss of her would not be so painful...
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Serenity58
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13
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915
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4/24/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT)
(Preview)
Today gives us a strong page that looks at the heart of how the program worked for one member. Finding AlAnon is compared to stepping into a "bright new world" where they saw that it is by changing ourselves that we drop the resentment, anger and fear that chokes us. Changes included first stopping judg...
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Enigmatic
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5
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790
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Doing the next right thing
(Preview)
My first sponsor used to say, whenever I was in crisis mode, to just 'do the next right thing'. And, for me, sometimes that meant 'do nothing' or do the dishes, or fold the laundry, or whatever it was that was the next thing to do. I would get out of control and vent like crazy and go on and on about how I was w...
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andromeda
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7
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1246
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ODAT READING 4-23-2017
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for April 23 speaks about using sarcasm as a way of interacting with others . The reading points out "sarcasm" relieves our pent-up feelings and gives a certain satisfaction Sarcasm may have many components in itself, and becomes even more distasteful when we realize that it co...
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hotrod
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5
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605
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Letting go - something for fun
(Preview)
I'm reading a book Mind by Daniel Siegel at the moment, and came across something that spoke to me. In complex systems things self-organize, some kind of spontaneous, unplanned order arising from chaos simply because various parts and processes of the system interact.
I thought it relevant in te...
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Aline
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3
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512
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Courage To Change 22/4
(Preview)
Today's c2c addresses some of the misconceptions people often have about the fourth step, and the notion of searching for our defects. Many of us are by default very hard on ourselves and this step can seem like an excuse to berate ourselves even further. This is why we first thoroughly work the first 3...
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MissM
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3
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588
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Courage to Change (C2C) 4/21/17
(Preview)
Today's reading discusses diversity and autonomy in our fellowship. As we have heard, Tradition 4 suggests that each group is autonomous, free to conduct meetings in a way that suits its members as long as it abides by the Traditions and doesn't harm the overall unity of Al-Anon. Some groups stick...
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Iamhere
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6
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590
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Hope for Today Apr 18
(Preview)
Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about step two and specifically the phrase 'restore us to sanity'. For many of us using the word insanity seems overly dramatic or harsh. That's definitely how I felt until I started coming here, going to meetings, reading the literature and working a pro...
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yanksfan51
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7
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612
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Courage to Change (C2C) 4/20/17
(Preview)
Today's reading is about the gift from working the program to be ourselves - warts and all! The writer discusses her lack of smiling because of dental concerns. Years of humiliating criticisms from alcoholic relatives had the writer believing what she was hearing, and she rarely smiled/grinned...
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Iamhere
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4
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390
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Help
(Preview)
Good Evening All, I am new to the Al non community and wanted to get to know others. I will be attending my first meeting this Thursday 4/20/17. I am excited and a little sad, but I do recognize I can't do this alone
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AliciaS
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5
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633
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Advisable to admit fault to a very active alcoholic or waste of time?
(Preview)
Hello all...Its been way too long since Ive come to the boards but I am trying to make my way back to program because I've allowed myself to become undone yet again. At the moment my most pressing question is whether or not it is a waste of time admitting fault in a recent falling out between my husband and I...
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Hopefull15
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8
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717
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It's always something! Frustrated!!
(Preview)
My AH is a DJ at a local bar. Last Wednesday night was a bad night (we have many). So bad, that he woke our 8 year old daughter up at 4 in the morning by being loud and obnoxious. He was being so loud that I peeked my head in her room to make sure she was still asleep she had her head under her pillow crying. Heartbr...
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Dlove
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7
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716
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Stay Or Run: How to know if your partner is serious about recovery.
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
A common theme I see across this site is folks at "the crossroads" of deciding whether a relationship is worth salvaging and whether or not to cut and run. As a recovering alcoholic who has just celebrated ten years with a wife that stood by him in his struggle with his addiction in the first year, I want...
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2XW
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51
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1608
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My Tunnel Vision
(Preview)
For some reason I have the ability to love other people's A's .. LOL .. not mine. I was having a light conversation about this today. Very honestly someone else would probably love my XAH .. someone else does .. LOL .. although I wonder how that's working for her. Not my business or really concern .. ju...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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670
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how to approach step work?
(Preview)
hello, all. wondering if anyone can lend some insight into different approaches to step work. i'm working with a potential sponsor and she approaches it the way her sponsor did with her: take each word of each step and write on that word for every 5 year segment of your life. every word. i am 49 years ol...
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Junenine
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9
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623
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New to all anon Need to talk
(Preview)
Hi new to al anon. I have been sacked in by this disease and need to get out. Partner is in recovery but I feel I'm still in the circle
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George
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21
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875
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New this group
(Preview)
Hi I am New as well. Going through a tough time. Recently started divorce process and yesterday my A decided to attempt suicide and is hospital right now for psych evaluation. We have two little ones and it's taking a huge toll on everyone. Feel so lost right now.
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Alo504LSU
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7
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542
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Ah, Easter - just one more holiday/family event my AH is gonna miss.
(Preview)
Happy Spring! And Happy Easter to those that participate. So Easter invites went out 2 weeks ago regarding plans at my AH's adult nephew's house. He has a wonderful little family, and a very large house. I asked my AH, "So, what do you think? Are you gonna respond back? Should we plan on going?" His answ...
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PosiesandPuppies
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8
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604
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4/19/17 Courage to Change
(Preview)
Today's page describes the change that occurred over time while a member worked a recovery program including regular AlAnon meetings, literature, even open AA meetings: they came to see alcoholism as a disease and made adjustments in their expectations. They were able to see their qualifier as il...
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Enigmatic
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3
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497
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I gained some serenity
(Preview)
My late 30-something AD who lives in another state, has decided that I should be her dumping ground for all her unhappiness. I have tried to be a non judgmental, empathetic listener (and too often have tried to offer positive advice and suggestions), while (unsuccessfully) trying to set boundarie...
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lgnutah
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5
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574
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I should have called the police
(Preview)
I guess I spoke too soon on my last post. We live on a farm and I noticed my A was sitting in the car down there a long time. I walked down there and he's beyond drunk with the bottle in his hand. For whatever reason our lawn mower is on and he's covered in gasoline. I manage to wake him up and get him to the passeng...
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Isthisreallife
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21
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733
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4/17/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon
(Preview)
Today's reading recalls the AlAnon suggestion to keep a favorite slogan or phrase handy for recall when we run into life turbulence. Favorite choices for this purpose include the Serenity Prayer, "Not my will, but thine be done", and many others. The key is to have something positive, something to q...
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Enigmatic
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10
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594
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Grrrrr. Wanna scream.
(Preview)
Posted this as a reply to another thread, but just wanted to metaphorically scream. The A in my life demonstrates not one iota of attempting recovery, recogintion, acceptance or anything.In fact I am very, very stressed tonight and feel very highly strung.The A in my life was extremely rude, belig...
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jitsuka
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13
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621
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How do you talk to your A (ESH Please)
(Preview)
For the longest time, the morning after my A had been full out drunk, I would go in before he crawled out of bed and have this huge heart to heart about how I was feeling. Sometime repeat the mean things he had said. Because often at that time we would end up in a full out argument. Since finding this group. I'...
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Curlyblu
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21
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637
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Hi :) New here
(Preview)
My first pot here. Ive been reading others' posts, they all speak to my experiences in a way i have never experienced wirh another human being. I have been to 2 meetings, some time ago now. And read daily from Courage to Change. I will go to meetings again  I've been in a relationship for around 16 years...
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Mabel
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6
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510
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Happy Easter (early)....
(Preview)
Happy Easter for all who celebrate. I know I am a day early but I figured now is the time....I am not a 'fan' of holidays just because they are difficult and often I am reminded of lost dreams, lost people, etc. For my entire life and longer, my whole family has gotten together - 3-5 generations dependin...
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Iamhere
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10
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637
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A funny about control .. LOL
(Preview)
MINE .. so these last couple of holidays my BF and I have spent with his family. Awesome doesn't cut it, last weekend we were in the throws of making sugar eggs and having a blast!! I'll have to share some pictures of our art. So we won't be seeing them for Easter which I'm honestly ok with because this is...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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648
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What do you fear the most?
(Preview)
Super interesting topic and discussion this morning at the Easter Feaster and annual celebration that my home group puts on every year. Attending the discussion was myself, my sponsor and a couple other guys and it was started by a sponsee. My sponsee had concerns on several fears and my sponsor w...
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Jerry F
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10
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595
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LOOKING FOR PEOPLE FROM JERSEY
(Preview)
Hi
I am trying to widen my support group. I have people at face to face meeting, and I am looking for more people so I can have alot of different views on things.
I am from Union County
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nycbt
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4
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2913
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Step 4
(Preview)
Step four has been posted to the step work board. I have posted the link below and am looking forward to your shares Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own re...
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hotrod
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0
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622
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I'm so sad
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone I want to wish everyone a blessed Easter. I'm now in a funk and I'm so so sad and don't know what to do with myself. The hurt is deep and I think about being alone for the rest of my life and no one to take of me when I die. Crazy to think of this now but I am. I pray as the days pass I will b...
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Cathyinaz
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21
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1459
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ODAT Reading 4-16-2017
(Preview)
and PASSOVER The ODAT reading for April 16 speaks about the slogan:"Let go and Let God" . It suggests that once we are able to let go of a problem- solutions do unfold. These solutions are ones that we never dreamed possible' so that when we see things unfold like this,we come to realize that ano...
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hotrod
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8
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365
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Obsessive thoughts ..
(Preview)
This really has struck me lately .. I totally get it and I can obsessively think about one thing usually singing the him's in my case. Him did me wrong. Him did this .. him did that .. LOL. I still do it .. guilty as charged. I thank GOD for Alanon because it put into perspective what is me causing pain to my...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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604
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Guilt trips and frustration
(Preview)
Hi everyone- It's been over 100 days since my AS got a new liver and seemed to have a total 180 in attitude and apologizing for hurtful behaviors toward me. It has been like dealing with a new person at first. After staying in the hospital we stayed at a friend's house to recover (at that time our house set...
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gabigail
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6
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440
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Sad and crying.....blah
(Preview)
Tonight I spent the night with my bf's family. They are a completely dysfunctional group. Filled with alcoholics. I played the hostess and we all had a lovely time as we were celebrating his dad's 77th birthday. But, I miss my family. MY OWN DYSFUNCTIONAL family! I'm crying now because all I want to...
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andromeda
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12
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2701
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I have no words
(Preview)
I posted yesterday the my husband called me at work to yell at me for talking to his sister. Today he got home from work way later than he should have and fell out of the car. He was so drunk he could hardly make it in the house. When he finally does he starts in on how I've betrayed him, I should have his back, an...
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Isthisreallife
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6
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601
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I am tired of just 'existing'
(Preview)
Have any of you felt like this? Even after being away from the xeAH, I feel like I just watch life go by. I am in college, but have little money. I did take a painting class, and I enjoy it. But I still feel like I have nothing to offer anyone...the people I live with are musicians. I don't sing, I don't play a...
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Marie71
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9
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735
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Early morning vent session
(Preview)
Morning all! I woke this morning to that maddening, obsessive thinking about the xAB. It truly is over. I need to stop looking back, but how? This man did not love me yet I stayed with him for over a year of my life. And here I am feeling so sad this morning thinking about how he's with someone else? As if he's...
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WhewWee
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8
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574
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Courage To Change 15/4
(Preview)
Today's C2C is about personal safety. It begins by reminding us that when people come to al-anon, they often have a lot of questions that they want answers to. Should I stay? Should I leave? What should I do about the financial/practical/(insert difficulty here) problem? The reading suggests that...
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MissM
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1
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357
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So frustrated
(Preview)
My Husband missed family Easter last weekend with his family. Yes missed get togethers since last 4th of July. Including our daughters birthday in December bc he was too drunk to wake up. His family knows but don't really acknowledge it. His sister called me yesterday to see if they needed to an interv...
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Isthisreallife
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3
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492
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All my recovery fell apart
(Preview)
You may remember that my ex-AH is staying with us temporarily. I've been sick so that's been an extra stress. But tonight all my hard-earned emotional health just fell apart. To make a long story short, he did several of the kind of things he used to do. For instance, he need to file an extension for h...
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Mattie
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9
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656
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I got sucked in
(Preview)
Tonight I couldn't help myself. My AH called around the time he was supposed to be home to say "oh still at the office having an important meeting" (yes like almost every night, and these meetings are always at a bar) - he swore up and down he was still at the office and not a bar. Annoyed I moved on, but then h...
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VickiR
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3
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577
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Divorced now
(Preview)
My attorney advised me to stay off social media, so I haven't been posting. Thursday, we had a mediation and reached a settlement agreement. He gets the house and $100K from my IRA. (I was always worried that he didn't have enough saved for retirement. I was right. Ha.) What did I get? I get to keep m...
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Mcat54
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9
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738
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