Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c addresses some of the misconceptions people often have about the fourth step, and the notion of searching for our defects. Many of us are by default very hard on ourselves and this step can seem like an excuse to berate ourselves even further. This is why we first thoroughly work the first 3...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses diversity and autonomy in our fellowship. As we have heard, Tradition 4 suggests that each group is autonomous, free to conduct meetings in a way that suits its members as long as it abides by the Traditions and doesn't harm the overall unity of Al-Anon. Some groups stick...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about step two and specifically the phrase 'restore us to sanity'. For many of us using the word insanity seems overly dramatic or harsh. That's definitely how I felt until I started coming here, going to meetings, reading the literature and working a pro...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about the gift from working the program to be ourselves - warts and all! The writer discusses her lack of smiling because of dental concerns. Years of humiliating criticisms from alcoholic relatives had the writer believing what she was hearing, and she rarely smiled/grinned...

AliciaS · AliciaS

Good Evening All, I am new to the Al non community and wanted to get to know others. I will be attending my first meeting this Thursday 4/20/17. I am excited and a little sad, but I do recognize I can't do this alone

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Hello all...Its been way too long since Ive come to the boards but I am trying to make my way back to program because I've allowed myself to become undone yet again. At the moment my most pressing question is whether or not it is a waste of time admitting fault in a recent falling out between my husband and I...

Dlove · Dlove

My AH is a DJ at a local bar. Last Wednesday night was a bad night (we have many). So bad, that he woke our 8 year old daughter up at 4 in the morning by being loud and obnoxious. He was being so loud that I peeked my head in her room to make sure she was still asleep she had her head under her pillow crying. Heartbr...

2XW · 2XW

A common theme I see across this site is folks at "the crossroads" of deciding whether a relationship is worth salvaging and whether or not to cut and run. As a recovering alcoholic who has just celebrated ten years with a wife that stood by him in his struggle with his addiction in the first year, I want...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

For some reason I have the ability to love other people's A's .. LOL .. not mine. I was having a light conversation about this today. Very honestly someone else would probably love my XAH .. someone else does .. LOL .. although I wonder how that's working for her. Not my business or really concern .. ju...

Junenine · Junenine

hello, all. wondering if anyone can lend some insight into different approaches to step work. i'm working with a potential sponsor and she approaches it the way her sponsor did with her: take each word of each step and write on that word for every 5 year segment of your life. every word. i am 49 years ol...

George · George

Hi new to al anon. I have been sacked in by this disease and need to get out. Partner is in recovery but I feel I'm still in the circle

Alo504LSU · Alo504LSU

Hi I am New as well. Going through a tough time. Recently started divorce process and yesterday my A decided to attempt suicide and is hospital right now for psych evaluation. We have two little ones and it's taking a huge toll on everyone. Feel so lost right now.

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Happy Spring! And Happy Easter to those that participate. So Easter invites went out 2 weeks ago regarding plans at my AH's adult nephew's house. He has a wonderful little family, and a very large house. I asked my AH, "So, what do you think? Are you gonna respond back? Should we plan on going?" His answ...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page describes the change that occurred over time while a member worked a recovery program including regular AlAnon meetings, literature, even open AA meetings: they came to see alcoholism as a disease and made adjustments in their expectations. They were able to see their qualifier as il...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My late 30-something AD who lives in another state, has decided that I should be her dumping ground for all her unhappiness. I have tried to be a non judgmental, empathetic listener (and too often have tried to offer positive advice and suggestions), while (unsuccessfully) trying to set boundarie...

Isthisreallife · Isthisreallife

I guess I spoke too soon on my last post. We live on a farm and I noticed my A was sitting in the car down there a long time. I walked down there and he's beyond drunk with the bottle in his hand. For whatever reason our lawn mower is on and he's covered in gasoline. I manage to wake him up and get him to the passeng...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading recalls the AlAnon suggestion to keep a favorite slogan or phrase handy for recall when we run into life turbulence. Favorite choices for this purpose include the Serenity Prayer, "Not my will, but thine be done", and many others. The key is to have something positive, something to q...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Posted this as a reply to another thread, but just wanted to metaphorically scream. The A in my life demonstrates not one iota of attempting recovery, recogintion, acceptance or anything.In fact I am very, very stressed tonight and feel very highly strung.The A in my life was extremely rude, belig...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

For the longest time, the morning after my A had been full out drunk, I would go in before he crawled out of bed and have this huge heart to heart about how I was feeling. Sometime repeat the mean things he had said. Because often at that time we would end up in a full out argument. Since finding this group. I'...

Mabel · Mabel

My first pot here. Ive been reading others' posts, they all speak to my experiences in a way i have never experienced wirh another human being. I have been to 2 meetings, some time ago now. And read daily from Courage to Change. I will go to meetings again

I've been in a relationship for around 16 years...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Easter for all who celebrate. I know I am a day early but I figured now is the time....I am not a 'fan' of holidays just because they are difficult and often I am reminded of lost dreams, lost people, etc. For my entire life and longer, my whole family has gotten together - 3-5 generations dependin...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

MINE .. so these last couple of holidays my BF and I have spent with his family. Awesome doesn't cut it, last weekend we were in the throws of making sugar eggs and having a blast!! I'll have to share some pictures of our art. So we won't be seeing them for Easter which I'm honestly ok with because this is...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Super interesting topic and discussion this morning at the Easter Feaster and annual celebration that my home group puts on every year. Attending the discussion was myself, my sponsor and a couple other guys and it was started by a sponsee. My sponsee had concerns on several fears and my sponsor w...

nycbt · nycbt

Hi I am trying to widen my support group. I have people at face to face meeting, and I am looking for more people so I can have alot of different views on things. I am from Union County

hotrod · hotrod

Step four has been posted to the step work board. I have posted the link below and am looking forward to your shares Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own re...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Everyone I want to wish everyone a blessed Easter. I'm now in a funk and I'm so so sad and don't know what to do with myself. The hurt is deep and I think about being alone for the rest of my life and no one to take of me when I die. Crazy to think of this now but I am. I pray as the days pass I will b...

hotrod · hotrod

and PASSOVER The ODAT reading for April 16 speaks about the slogan:"Let go and Let God" . It suggests that once we are able to let go of a problem- solutions do unfold. These solutions are ones that we never dreamed possible' so that when we see things unfold like this,we come to realize that ano...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This really has struck me lately .. I totally get it and I can obsessively think about one thing usually singing the him's in my case. Him did me wrong. Him did this .. him did that .. LOL. I still do it .. guilty as charged. I thank GOD for Alanon because it put into perspective what is me causing pain to my...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone- It's been over 100 days since my AS got a new liver and seemed to have a total 180 in attitude and apologizing for hurtful behaviors toward me. It has been like dealing with a new person at first. After staying in the hospital we stayed at a friend's house to recover (at that time our house set...

andromeda · andromeda

Tonight I spent the night with my bf's family. They are a completely dysfunctional group. Filled with alcoholics. I played the hostess and we all had a lovely time as we were celebrating his dad's 77th birthday. But, I miss my family. MY OWN DYSFUNCTIONAL family! I'm crying now because all I want to...

Isthisreallife · Isthisreallife

I posted yesterday the my husband called me at work to yell at me for talking to his sister. Today he got home from work way later than he should have and fell out of the car. He was so drunk he could hardly make it in the house. When he finally does he starts in on how I've betrayed him, I should have his back, an...

Marie71 · Marie71

Have any of you felt like this? Even after being away from the xeAH, I feel like I just watch life go by. I am in college, but have little money. I did take a painting class, and I enjoy it. But I still feel like I have nothing to offer anyone...the people I live with are musicians. I don't sing, I don't play a...

WhewWee · WhewWee

Morning all! I woke this morning to that maddening, obsessive thinking about the xAB. It truly is over. I need to stop looking back, but how? This man did not love me yet I stayed with him for over a year of my life. And here I am feeling so sad this morning thinking about how he's with someone else? As if he's...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C is about personal safety. It begins by reminding us that when people come to al-anon, they often have a lot of questions that they want answers to. Should I stay? Should I leave? What should I do about the financial/practical/(insert difficulty here) problem? The reading suggests that...

Isthisreallife · Isthisreallife

My Husband missed family Easter last weekend with his family. Yes missed get togethers since last 4th of July. Including our daughters birthday in December bc he was too drunk to wake up. His family knows but don't really acknowledge it. His sister called me yesterday to see if they needed to an interv...

Mattie · Mattie

You may remember that my ex-AH is staying with us temporarily. I've been sick so that's been an extra stress. But tonight all my hard-earned emotional health just fell apart. To make a long story short, he did several of the kind of things he used to do. For instance, he need to file an extension for h...

VickiR · VickiR

Tonight I couldn't help myself. My AH called around the time he was supposed to be home to say "oh still at the office having an important meeting" (yes like almost every night, and these meetings are always at a bar) - he swore up and down he was still at the office and not a bar. Annoyed I moved on, but then h...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

My attorney advised me to stay off social media, so I haven't been posting. Thursday, we had a mediation and reached a settlement agreement. He gets the house and $100K from my IRA. (I was always worried that he didn't have enough saved for retirement. I was right. Ha.) What did I get? I get to keep m...

Aline · Aline

My now Xabf contacted me yesterday and I agreed we should talk in person. I went to his flat today.It turns out he hadn't contacted me for over a week since I left because he felt hurt by my leaving (not for the first time), feeling he's had enough of it. From his pov, I guess he sees me as this flighty gf who ju...

Iamhere · Iamhere

In Courage to Change today, the reading discusses 'stinking thinking'. For many of us, we develop a heightened awareness of our thoughts as we recover. In time, we are able to notice when our thinking becomes distorted. If we want to stop the negative thoughts, we have the tools taught by our progr...

LinSC · LinSC

You are still helping people in your sad times Cathy. I applaud you, you are quite a woman. Thank you for what a good example you are putting forth. I can't imagine what you are going through now but there is still a certain "bright spirit" in you that will never die. I am amazed. Linsc

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

It's been awhile since I've posted, but I still try to check in here now and then. Today is my twin daughters' 30th birthday. One of my twins is my qualifier. We have been in very little contact since my AH's passing four years ago. She continues to play the victim and still blames my AH's death on my leavin...

At a crossroads · At a crossroads

Hello, I'm new to Al Anon. I haven't attended a meeting yet, but plan to do so soon. I have an AH, who just started drinking again. We have been married less than 3 years. I didn't know he was an alcoholic when we married. Soon into the marriage he became an active drinker, and then it all came out. He has been...

VickiR · VickiR

Tonight I couldn't help myself. My AH called around the time he was supposed to be home to say "oh still at the office having an important meeting" (yes like almost every night, and these meetings are always at a bar) - he swore up and down he was still at the office and not a bar. Annoyed I moved on, but then h...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Dear Family I lost my beautiful son tonight. He is finally at peace. I'm lost Oh God let him be happy

Lee51 · Lee51

I attended my first meeting on Monday and my second last evening. I'm hopeful that being in a supportive environment will help me work through my issues. It has been exhausting trying to keep up an appearance of normalcy. Like many families, problems weren't talked about much in my family; everyone w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning/afternoon all - sorry for the late daily - my morning has gone different than planned! Today's reading talks about how we improve in our responses, relationships and intuition with recovery. We consider responding with kindness when we are uncertain because - why not? We also can ac...

WhewWee · WhewWee

My abf broke up with me. I'm not surprised. I've been trying to detach for a while, because I know this is ultimately what's best for me. I couldn't even say that I would have fallen in even the top four things that matter to him in his life. He had no future plans for us. I could tell that he didn't truly care a...

VickiR · VickiR

Sorry if this is long. I am sitting here alone another night. I posted last week, but my AH and I had a particularly bad week last night, he was drinking every night and didn't come home after work a few times and then Friday he stayed out until 6:30 in the morning doing god knows what. He missed a family outi...

Aline · Aline

Hi all, I want to share my story (so far). I had been living with my ABF for close to 10 years and we've been together since I was 16, so for around 12 years now. We used to drink together, the two of us or in larger company, a lot and often, but I didn't see a big problem with that for a long time. At some point I re...

El · El

I am trying to apply program tools to all areas of my life; I want to improve all relationships and be the best me that I can. I am really struggling with my brother and his obvious disinterest in what is happening here with his family; meaning our elderly mother and myself. He lives out of state and comes t...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I have often thought about alcoholism being a disease. I don't struggle with the label but I do struggle with all the differences of what family members go through. Let me list them: 1. Alcoholics lie about many things 2. Alcoholics keep secrets 3. Alcoholics apologize for their condition 4. ...

MissKid · MissKid

Hello all! I am 53 and have been in relationships with A's my whole life. It started with my father, then mother and step father. My first marriage was to an emotionally unavailable man (I was pregnant.) My second was to a momma's boy. My third to the very definition of an addict. I, too, tend to have an add...

Tthump · Tthump

I'm at a loss...I go to meetings. I listen. I apply what I hear. But sometimes circumstances .. Situations...Feel hopeless...My son's decisions do affect me..They affect my grandchild..They affect my relationship with my grandchild..It's just a vicious circle of swirling s**t...And it's very...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

I failed myself and my recovering AGf today... This was my first trip away from home since she finished her 90 day in house rehab. I failed and resorted to my old ways of tracking and questioning. I lost my focus. She was doing what she felt necessary for her recovery and all I could see was her going back to...

Mattie · Mattie

I mentioned earlier that my ex-AH is staying with us for a while to see our kid. He is a binge drinker and he is not drinking at this particular juncture - in fact he is so feeble that I would be surprised if he could get out to buy any alcohol. We don't have a car and although we are in a city, I think the neares...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been trying to write this post on and off for more than a week but I just can't figure out exactly what the point of it is. So I keep deleting it and starting over. This time I am going to get it out. I feel like I'm starting to accept that my AH is in fact an AH and that our relationship isn't healthy. ...

runi · runi

what is denial and what does it look like in daily life? detachment with love? when is it denial and when is it detachment and how do i tell the difference.

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Who of us hasn't felt despair at one time or another, especially before recovery: the feeling of hopelessness and no way out. Today's page describes despair as an absence of faith, felt when we expect solutions to come only from us. Perhaps we lost our faith, maybe we never had it. AlAnon gives us the op...

a4l · a4l

Coming out of denial is a bit like chipping off a cast. At first, little pieces come away and you can see the bits underneath. You keep chipping away, little pieces keep falling, then get bigger. Keep chipping, chipping then in a soft but fast crumble, the whole thing is revealed and its Very different t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage To Change 22/4 (Preview) Today's c2c addresses some of the misconceptions people often have about the fourth step, and the notion of searching for our defects. Many of us are by default very hard on ourselves and this step can seem like an excuse to berate ourselves even further. This is why we first thoroughly work the first 3...	MissM	3	490	Apr 22, 2017 by 2HP
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/21/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses diversity and autonomy in our fellowship. As we have heard, Tradition 4 suggests that each group is autonomous, free to conduct meetings in a way that suits its members as long as it abides by the Traditions and doesn't harm the overall unity of Al-Anon. Some groups stick...	Iamhere	6	503	Apr 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Apr 18 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about step two and specifically the phrase 'restore us to sanity'. For many of us using the word insanity seems overly dramatic or harsh. That's definitely how I felt until I started coming here, going to meetings, reading the literature and working a pro...	yanksfan51	7	523	Apr 21, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/20/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about the gift from working the program to be ourselves - warts and all! The writer discusses her lack of smiling because of dental concerns. Years of humiliating criticisms from alcoholic relatives had the writer believing what she was hearing, and she rarely smiled/grinned...	Iamhere	4	310	Apr 20, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Help (Preview) Good Evening All, I am new to the Al non community and wanted to get to know others. I will be attending my first meeting this Thursday 4/20/17. I am excited and a little sad, but I do recognize I can't do this alone	AliciaS	5	511	Apr 20, 2017 by Jen61
	Advisable to admit fault to a very active alcoholic or waste of time? (Preview) Hello all...Its been way too long since Ive come to the boards but I am trying to make my way back to program because I've allowed myself to become undone yet again. At the moment my most pressing question is whether or not it is a waste of time admitting fault in a recent falling out between my husband and I...	Hopefull15	8	631	Apr 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	It's always something! Frustrated!! (Preview) My AH is a DJ at a local bar. Last Wednesday night was a bad night (we have many). So bad, that he woke our 8 year old daughter up at 4 in the morning by being loud and obnoxious. He was being so loud that I peeked my head in her room to make sure she was still asleep she had her head under her pillow crying. Heartbr...	Dlove	7	635	Apr 20, 2017 by el-cee
	Stay Or Run: How to know if your partner is serious about recovery. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) A common theme I see across this site is folks at "the crossroads" of deciding whether a relationship is worth salvaging and whether or not to cut and run. As a recovering alcoholic who has just celebrated ten years with a wife that stood by him in his struggle with his addiction in the first year, I want...	2XW	51	1463	Apr 20, 2017 by Bo
	My Tunnel Vision (Preview) For some reason I have the ability to love other people's A's .. LOL .. not mine. I was having a light conversation about this today. Very honestly someone else would probably love my XAH .. someone else does .. LOL .. although I wonder how that's working for her. Not my business or really concern .. ju...	SerenityRUS	4	578	Apr 19, 2017 by shrnp
	how to approach step work? (Preview) hello, all. wondering if anyone can lend some insight into different approaches to step work. i'm working with a potential sponsor and she approaches it the way her sponsor did with her: take each word of each step and write on that word for every 5 year segment of your life. every word. i am 49 years ol...	Junenine	9	538	Apr 19, 2017 by Junenine
	New to all anon Need to talk (Preview) Hi new to al anon. I have been sacked in by this disease and need to get out. Partner is in recovery but I feel I'm still in the circle	George	21	752	Apr 19, 2017 by Jerry F
	New this group (Preview) Hi I am New as well. Going through a tough time. Recently started divorce process and yesterday my A decided to attempt suicide and is hospital right now for psych evaluation. We have two little ones and it's taking a huge toll on everyone. Feel so lost right now.	Alo504LSU	7	462	Apr 19, 2017 by Jerry F
	Ah, Easter - just one more holiday/family event my AH is gonna miss. (Preview) Happy Spring! And Happy Easter to those that participate. So Easter invites went out 2 weeks ago regarding plans at my AH's adult nephew's house. He has a wonderful little family, and a very large house. I asked my AH, "So, what do you think? Are you gonna respond back? Should we plan on going?" His answ...	PosiesandPuppies	8	523	Apr 19, 2017 by Jazzie18
	4/19/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page describes the change that occurred over time while a member worked a recovery program including regular AlAnon meetings, literature, even open AA meetings: they came to see alcoholism as a disease and made adjustments in their expectations. They were able to see their qualifier as il...	Enigmatic	3	420	Apr 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	I gained some serenity (Preview) My late 30-something AD who lives in another state, has decided that I should be her dumping ground for all her unhappiness. I have tried to be a non judgmental, empathetic listener (and too often have tried to offer positive advice and suggestions), while (unsuccessfully) trying to set boundarie...	lgnutah	5	479	Apr 19, 2017 by el-cee
	I should have called the police (Preview) I guess I spoke too soon on my last post. We live on a farm and I noticed my A was sitting in the car down there a long time. I walked down there and he's beyond drunk with the bottle in his hand. For whatever reason our lawn mower is on and he's covered in gasoline. I manage to wake him up and get him to the passeng...	Isthisreallife	21	639	Apr 18, 2017 by Jayla
	4/17/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's reading recalls the AlAnon suggestion to keep a favorite slogan or phrase handy for recall when we run into life turbulence. Favorite choices for this purpose include the Serenity Prayer, "Not my will, but thine be done", and many others. The key is to have something positive, something to q...	Enigmatic	10	515	Apr 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Grrrrr. Wanna scream. (Preview) Posted this as a reply to another thread, but just wanted to metaphorically scream. The A in my life demonstrates not one iota of attempting recovery, recogintion, acceptance or anything.In fact I am very, very stressed tonight and feel very highly strung.The A in my life was extremely rude, belig...	jitsuka	13	542	Apr 18, 2017 by Mattie
	How do you talk to your A (ESH Please) (Preview) For the longest time, the morning after my A had been full out drunk, I would go in before he crawled out of bed and have this huge heart to heart about how I was feeling. Sometime repeat the mean things he had said. Because often at that time we would end up in a full out argument. Since finding this group. I'...	Curlyblu	21	530	Apr 17, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Hi :) New here (Preview) My first pot here. Ive been reading others' posts, they all speak to my experiences in a way i have never experienced wirh another human being. I have been to 2 meetings, some time ago now. And read daily from Courage to Change. I will go to meetings again I've been in a relationship for around 16 years...	Mabel	6	431	Apr 17, 2017 by shrnp
	Happy Easter (early).... (Preview) Happy Easter for all who celebrate. I know I am a day early but I figured now is the time....I am not a 'fan' of holidays just because they are difficult and often I am reminded of lost dreams, lost people, etc. For my entire life and longer, my whole family has gotten together - 3-5 generations dependin...	Iamhere	10	555	Apr 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	A funny about control .. LOL (Preview) MINE .. so these last couple of holidays my BF and I have spent with his family. Awesome doesn't cut it, last weekend we were in the throws of making sugar eggs and having a blast!! I'll have to share some pictures of our art. So we won't be seeing them for Easter which I'm honestly ok with because this is...	SerenityRUS	4	563	Apr 17, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	What do you fear the most? (Preview) Super interesting topic and discussion this morning at the Easter Feaster and annual celebration that my home group puts on every year. Attending the discussion was myself, my sponsor and a couple other guys and it was started by a sponsee. My sponsee had concerns on several fears and my sponsor w...	Jerry F	10	518	Apr 17, 2017 by Jerry F
	LOOKING FOR PEOPLE FROM JERSEY (Preview) Hi I am trying to widen my support group. I have people at face to face meeting, and I am looking for more people so I can have alot of different views on things. I am from Union County	nycbt	4	2668	Apr 17, 2017 by Bo
	Step 4 (Preview) Step four has been posted to the step work board. I have posted the link below and am looking forward to your shares Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own re...	hotrod	0	545	Apr 17, 2017 by hotrod
	I'm so sad (Preview) Good Morning Everyone I want to wish everyone a blessed Easter. I'm now in a funk and I'm so so sad and don't know what to do with myself. The hurt is deep and I think about being alone for the rest of my life and no one to take of me when I die. Crazy to think of this now but I am. I pray as the days pass I will b...	Cathyinaz	21	1337	Apr 16, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	ODAT Reading 4-16-2017 (Preview) and PASSOVER The ODAT reading for April 16 speaks about the slogan:"Let go and Let God" . It suggests that once we are able to let go of a problem- solutions do unfold. These solutions are ones that we never dreamed possible' so that when we see things unfold like this,we come to realize that ano...	hotrod	8	286	Apr 16, 2017 by hotrod
	Obsessive thoughts .. (Preview) This really has struck me lately .. I totally get it and I can obsessively think about one thing usually singing the him's in my case. Him did me wrong. Him did this .. him did that .. LOL. I still do it .. guilty as charged. I thank GOD for Alanon because it put into perspective what is me causing pain to my...	SerenityRUS	4	507	Apr 16, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Guilt trips and frustration (Preview) Hi everyone- It's been over 100 days since my AS got a new liver and seemed to have a total 180 in attitude and apologizing for hurtful behaviors toward me. It has been like dealing with a new person at first. After staying in the hospital we stayed at a friend's house to recover (at that time our house set...	gabigail	6	359	Apr 16, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Sad and crying.....blah (Preview) Tonight I spent the night with my bf's family. They are a completely dysfunctional group. Filled with alcoholics. I played the hostess and we all had a lovely time as we were celebrating his dad's 77th birthday. But, I miss my family. MY OWN DYSFUNCTIONAL family! I'm crying now because all I want to...	andromeda	12	2457	Apr 16, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	I have no words (Preview) I posted yesterday the my husband called me at work to yell at me for talking to his sister. Today he got home from work way later than he should have and fell out of the car. He was so drunk he could hardly make it in the house. When he finally does he starts in on how I've betrayed him, I should have his back, an...	Isthisreallife	6	525	Apr 15, 2017 by Enigmatic
	I am tired of just 'existing' (Preview) Have any of you felt like this? Even after being away from the xeAH, I feel like I just watch life go by. I am in college, but have little money. I did take a painting class, and I enjoy it. But I still feel like I have nothing to offer anyone...the people I live with are musicians. I don't sing, I don't play a...	Marie71	9	631	Apr 15, 2017 by jitsuka
	Early morning vent session (Preview) Morning all! I woke this morning to that maddening, obsessive thinking about the xAB. It truly is over. I need to stop looking back, but how? This man did not love me yet I stayed with him for over a year of my life. And here I am feeling so sad this morning thinking about how he's with someone else? As if he's...	WhewWee	8	488	Apr 15, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Courage To Change 15/4 (Preview) Today's C2C is about personal safety. It begins by reminding us that when people come to al-anon, they often have a lot of questions that they want answers to. Should I stay? Should I leave? What should I do about the financial/practical/(insert difficulty here) problem? The reading suggests that...	MissM	1	284	Apr 15, 2017 by hotrod
	So frustrated (Preview) My Husband missed family Easter last weekend with his family. Yes missed get togethers since last 4th of July. Including our daughters birthday in December bc he was too drunk to wake up. His family knows but don't really acknowledge it. His sister called me yesterday to see if they needed to an interv...	Isthisreallife	3	419	Apr 14, 2017 by shrnp
	All my recovery fell apart (Preview) You may remember that my ex-AH is staying with us temporarily. I've been sick so that's been an extra stress. But tonight all my hard-earned emotional health just fell apart. To make a long story short, he did several of the kind of things he used to do. For instance, he need to file an extension for h...	Mattie	9	556	Apr 14, 2017 by a4l
	I got sucked in (Preview) Tonight I couldn't help myself. My AH called around the time he was supposed to be home to say "oh still at the office having an important meeting" (yes like almost every night, and these meetings are always at a bar) - he swore up and down he was still at the office and not a bar. Annoyed I moved on, but then h...	VickiR	3	504	Apr 14, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Divorced now (Preview) My attorney advised me to stay off social media, so I haven't been posting. Thursday, we had a mediation and reached a settlement agreement. He gets the house and $100K from my IRA. (I was always worried that he didn't have enough saved for retirement. I was right. Ha.) What did I get? I get to keep m...	Mcat54	9	659	Apr 14, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Broke up (Preview) My now Xabf contacted me yesterday and I agreed we should talk in person. I went to his flat today.It turns out he hadn't contacted me for over a week since I left because he felt hurt by my leaving (not for the first time), feeling he's had enough of it. From his pov, I guess he sees me as this flighty gf who ju...	Aline	6	305	Apr 14, 2017 by Aline
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/14/17 (Preview) In Courage to Change today, the reading discusses 'stinking thinking'. For many of us, we develop a heightened awareness of our thoughts as we recover. In time, we are able to notice when our thinking becomes distorted. If we want to stop the negative thoughts, we have the tools taught by our progr...	Iamhere	2	437	Apr 14, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Cathy (Preview) You are still helping people in your sad times Cathy. I applaud you, you are quite a woman. Thank you for what a good example you are putting forth. I can't imagine what you are going through now but there is still a certain "bright spirit" in you that will never die. I am amazed. Linsc	LinSC	6	387	Apr 14, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	AD Estrangement Continues (Preview) It's been awhile since I've posted, but I still try to check in here now and then. Today is my twin daughters' 30th birthday. One of my twins is my qualifier. We have been in very little contact since my AH's passing four years ago. She continues to play the victim and still blames my AH's death on my leavin...	Green Eyes	7	562	Apr 14, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Decisions-Need Advice (Preview) Hello, I'm new to Al Anon. I haven't attended a meeting yet, but plan to do so soon. I have an AH, who just started drinking again. We have been married less than 3 years. I didn't know he was an alcoholic when we married. Soon into the marriage he became an active drinker, and then it all came out. He has been...	At a crossroads	22	745	Apr 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	I got sucked in (Preview) Tonight I couldn't help myself. My AH called around the time he was supposed to be home to say "oh still at the office having an important meeting" (yes like almost every night, and these meetings are always at a bar) - he swore up and down he was still at the office and not a bar. Annoyed I moved on, but then h...	VickiR	3	440	Apr 14, 2017 by VickiR
	My Son ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Dear Family I lost my beautiful son tonight. He is finally at peace. I'm lost Oh God let him be happy	Cathyinaz	50	5935	Apr 14, 2017 by WhewWee
	New to Al Anon - Already a Bump (Preview) I attended my first meeting on Monday and my second last evening. I'm hopeful that being in a supportive environment will help me work through my issues. It has been exhausting trying to keep up an appearance of normalcy. Like many families, problems weren't talked about much in my family; everyone w...	Lee51	12	589	Apr 13, 2017 by Lee51
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/13/17 (Preview) Good morning/afternoon all - sorry for the late daily - my morning has gone different than planned! Today's reading talks about how we improve in our responses, relationships and intuition with recovery. We consider responding with kindness when we are uncertain because - why not? We also can ac...	Iamhere	2	304	Apr 13, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Super Sad Newbie (Preview) My abf broke up with me. I'm not surprised. I've been trying to detach for a while, because I know this is ultimately what's best for me. I couldn't even say that I would have fallen in even the top four things that matter to him in his life. He had no future plans for us. I could tell that he didn't truly care a...	WhewWee	10	534	Apr 13, 2017 by pinkchip
	Detachment = coldness (Preview) Sorry if this is long. I am sitting here alone another night. I posted last week, but my AH and I had a particularly bad week last night, he was drinking every night and didn't come home after work a few times and then Friday he stayed out until 6:30 in the morning doing god knows what. He missed a family outi...	VickiR	12	710	Apr 13, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	My story (Preview) Hi all, I want to share my story (so far). I had been living with my ABF for close to 10 years and we've been together since I was 16, so for around 12 years now. We used to drink together, the two of us or in larger company, a lot and often, but I didn't see a big problem with that for a long time. At some point I re...	Aline	7	557	Apr 13, 2017 by Aline
	Powerless over everyone -ESH? (Preview) I am trying to apply program tools to all areas of my life; I want to improve all relationships and be the best me that I can. I am really struggling with my brother and his obvious disinterest in what is happening here with his family; meaning our elderly mother and myself. He lives out of state and comes t...	El	8	358	Apr 13, 2017 by El
	Alcoholism is a disease (Preview) I have often thought about alcoholism being a disease. I don't struggle with the label but I do struggle with all the differences of what family members go through. Let me list them: 1. Alcoholics lie about many things 2. Alcoholics keep secrets 3. Alcoholics apologize for their condition 4. ...	wifeofalcoholic	5	343	Apr 13, 2017 by el-cee
	New to the program, not the disease (Preview) Hello all! I am 53 and have been in relationships with A's my whole life. It started with my father, then mother and step father. My first marriage was to an emotionally unavailable man (I was pregnant.) My second was to a momma's boy. My third to the very definition of an addict. I, too, tend to have an add...	MissKid	3	445	Apr 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	I'm hurting right now (Preview) I'm at a loss...I go to meetings. I listen. I apply what I hear. But sometimes circumstances .. Situations...Feel hopeless...My son's decisions do affect me..They affect my grandchild..They affect my relationship with my grandchild..It's just a vicious circle of swirling s**t...And it's very...	Tthump	14	444	Apr 12, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Serenity obliterated today (Preview) I failed myself and my recovering AGf today... This was my first trip away from home since she finished her 90 day in house rehab. I failed and resorted to my old ways of tracking and questioning. I lost my focus. She was doing what she felt necessary for her recovery and all I could see was her going back to...	Rickbrins	17	503	Apr 12, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Compulsive behavior (Preview) I mentioned earlier that my ex-AH is staying with us for a while to see our kid. He is a binge drinker and he is not drinking at this particular juncture - in fact he is so feeble that I would be surprised if he could get out to buy any alcohol. We don't have a car and although we are in a city, I think the neares...	Mattie	7	456	Apr 12, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	tired of living with Alcoholism (Preview) I've been trying to write this post on and off for more than a week but I just can't figure out exactly what the point of it is. So I keep deleting it and starting over. This time I am going to get it out. I feel like I'm starting to accept that my AH is in fact an AH and that our relationship isn't healthy. ...	KT2015	11	499	Apr 12, 2017 by Bo
	what is denial??? (Preview) what is denial and what does it look like in daily life? detachment with love? when is it denial and when is it detachment and how do i tell the difference.	runi	8	610	Apr 12, 2017 by Bo
	4/12/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Who of us hasn't felt despair at one time or another, especially before recovery: the feeling of hopelessness and no way out. Today's page describes despair as an absence of faith, felt when we expect solutions to come only from us. Perhaps we lost our faith, maybe we never had it. AlAnon gives us the op...	Enigmatic	3	532	Apr 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	can't look away. long long reflection (Preview) Coming out of denial is a bit like chipping off a cast. At first, little pieces come away and you can see the bits underneath. You keep chipping away, little pieces keep falling, then get bigger. Keep chipping, chipping then in a soft but fast crumble, the whole thing is revealed and its Very different t...	a4l	3	363	Apr 12, 2017 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.