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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I have no words
Post Info TOPIC: I have no words
Isthisreallife


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I have no words
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I posted yesterday the my husband called me at work to yell at me for talking to his sister. Today he got home from work way later than he should have and fell out of the car. He was so drunk he could hardly make it in the house. When he finally does he starts in on how I've betrayed him, I should have his back, and I should shut my mouth. He yelled at me in front of our children. I've never felt so irrelevant.

I'm completely lost. Yes, I know I need to go to a face to face meeting but the closest one is an hour away. At this point I hate my life. Things aren't going to get better and now I'm just a bitter stay at home mom with no real options. How can he love me if he acts this way? I know it the disease making him be this way but Lord I can't take it. Sorry y'all I just need to vent since I have no one to talk to 



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Jerry F


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Good vent!!  Remember it for later as you start to get better and saner.  Our second step has mention "came to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity"  and our Serenity Prayer in part, "The courage to change the things I can".  I am a former therapist in addiction rehab who works included spouses and families.  Surprise!!  Yelling and swearing at a spouse especially when under the influence of a mind and mood altering substance is a ticket for a stay in most jails.  Think about that. What would it be like to have your power back?  Talk to your local sheriff and see what they say.  Most loving person in your corner is yourself and your HP reach out to them and protect yourself.   I am in support.  (((((hugs))))) smile



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Stan1


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((((Isthisreallife))) so sorry things are so difficult right now. Alcoholism is a devastating disease that affects all in its grasp. Just know you didn't cause it, can't control it or cure it. This is a good board to express what your feeling and learn from others who share their Experience, Hope, and Strength. F2F can only add to your benefit when you can get to a meeting. Please know we understand and that you aren't alone. Please keep coming back!

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HES
Iamhere


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(((IsThisRealLife)) - sending thoughts and prayers your way. I do recall vividly when I hated my life and truly felt hopeless and completely helpless. It is about that time that I stumbled into Al-Anon and began the recovery journey. I am sorry for your pain - I hear you and completely understand. Vent away as you need to - action is a good thing....even when it doesn't feel like it!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
makebelieve11


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Agree with Jerry F - a night cooling his heels in the drunk tank might be just what your A needs. Or even just a police officer coming by and telling him to settle down. It will let hubby know that you're not going to tolerate that and you're willing to do what it takes to protect yourself and the kids.

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Isthisreallife


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Thank you all, I really feel as though my world has shattered. How did I even get here? I think a night in the drunk tank would just put him into a tailspin. One of these days I'm going to wake up and he's drank himself to death. He's highly functioning and isn't just a little drinking. He seriously drinks a 1/2 gallon of whisky straight out of the bottle every 2 days. He has never been abusive or aggressive and his yelling the last two days have been firsts. I've been made isolated and completely dependent. On him. Since I'm a stay at home mom all of our money goes into his checking account. He's removed me from access to it "because we were on a really right budget"
Now I'm wokndering if it's just another way to control me. My mind just keeps spinning and spinning back to woes me. Thank you again for making me feel like I'm not alone and I don't deserve this. 



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Enigmatic


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Thoughts and prayers to you Is, I feel for you and what you are going through...even though meetings are a long shot, you've got us here, and something that helps me out a great deal is AlAnon books. They are always there for me, have a ton of Experience, Strength and Hope, and give me guidance and help me keep calm when I am struggling.

Courage to Change, One day at a Time in AlAnon, and Hope for Today are daily readers that share a brief but powerful thought every day, showing how using the program can help us face our challenges and make healthier decisions. Here is a link to the AlAnon.org literature page: ecomm.al-anon.org/shop

Hang in there, come here as often as you like, know that you are not alone in this...we're pulling for you, and there is hope

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Paul

"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 
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