Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

cloverleaf · cloverleaf

Hey everyone. I've been lurking here for several weeks, reading posts and attending online meetings. I've now attended a few face to face meetings too, but feel I am just barely beginning to understand the basics of the program and how to apply it. My struggle of the moment is - I'm having a hard time wit...

beacheemom · beacheemom

I think my functioning AH is losing it. I really do. No need for details but his short term memory loss is getting worse. He sometimes doesn't even remember doing things. Tonight, it was that he forgot he ordered take out by phone. Me and our youngest come back home shortly after he ordered it and he is mak...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 18 speaks about Al-Anon recovery as a long-term process of growth and change. That our efforts to speed up this process will more than likely interfere and we will feel frustrated and depressed. "Easy does it " one day at a time , and "Keep it simple" are...

Bluewater · Bluewater

I served my husband with divorce papers last week. Each and every step of the divorce process has surprised me that instead of relief, I actually feel sadder. I have been married for nearly 2 years. I love my husband very much. I think he loves me too, however I believe he has a drinking problem. I k...

joker · joker

Alcoholic Bf is sleeping after a 2 day bender of 24 hours non stop. 1st night was good. I took some sleep medication and slept. He came into the bed a few times and tried to wake me up but I told him to let me sleep. I guess he had none to listen to his drunk talk. He woke up at 9 am and started drinking again. I trie...

Jmunni29 · Jmunni29

This is my first time sharing on any support group, I find it is needed to try and clear my head. I am a 20 y/o female who is now married and live over an hour away from my parents who are still married. Growing up I have always said that I did not want my father in my life is he continued drinking. Now that I am old...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is my 16th anniversary. It had been a long road w a lot of bumps & cracks. But today I still love him even though we disagree a lot & sweat the small stuff sometimes. The program both All anon & AA have taught all of us to accept the things we cannot change including people. It is hard when t...

Helpangel · Helpangel

I am trying to figure out if I have been emotionally and verbally abused and need some clarification. My ah is very negative about everything he can complain and I have asked him repeated to stop but he doesn't. He actually comes to my cubicle after bad meetings and complains to me about how bad they are....

missmeliss · missmeliss

I have a friend over on the side of the world where most of you guys live. Anyway I was having a very black time one day a couple of months ago and I caught her for a chat very early in the morning, in her timezone. She lives in Michigan USA and she said that she was going outside to plant sunflowers with her dau...

Debb · Debb

Have a wonderful day everyone!! {{HUGS}}

deacon · deacon

Annie posted below with the heading. Where have I gone? That has stayed with me for several days now. Because it made me look back and see how I have changed over the years in order to accommodate both husband's and son's drinking. When did I become this person who stays at home most of the time. Not that it...

Carmel 15 · Carmel 15

Hello to everyone here, I am new on this site and have come here as a result of feeling overwhlemed with anxiety on many levels and wondered if any one had some advice or wisdom, which I would welcome so much. My partner of over one year is an alcoholic who has been massively in denial despite many losses in...

norasq · norasq

I was going through some stuff today, and came across this list I'd made of the self-help books I bought as I was struggling with stuff in my marriage and coming to terms with the reality of my AH's drinking problem. It's sort of funny (in an ouch/poignant sort of way) how it sums up the progression and I t...

Debb · Debb

Had to share, that I was sitting on my porch just now, thinking about my yearly mammogram coming up this Wednesday afternoon. Of course, not looking forward to Wednesday, it holds a bit more stress for me because I am a four year breast cancer survivor and while I was praying to my HP for strength and goo...

hotrod · hotrod

Courage to Change reading for July 17 speaks about being detached from others and being able to learn how to be happy whether the alcoholic is drinking or not.It points out that is important for us to keep in mind that we have our own life and our own destiny and it's must be separated from that of the other...

joker · joker

I feel pure anger and rage at my alcoholic bf. In fact I can not stand to be near him. I just hate his guts with a passion. All he does is drink, sleep, work. And now that his brother has passed away, he is really drinking. He flies across the country on Sunday for a week. I can not wait for him to leave. Just to no...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

my AH has gotten us in a terrible financial fix..so ive been taking a new tack. here is what happened today urgent notice from our provider of phone/internet past due/shut off possible. im the user of those things mainly but ah wanted to take care of it . he took out a high credit limet credit card and proo...

almostThere · almostThere

...when I'm going to be perfect? 'Cause I'm getting tired of doing the same ol' thing over and over again! I mean, yeah, my general outlook is way better than it used to be, and yeah, my anger is far better under control than it used to be, and I'm not adding to my resentment warehouse anymore, and yeah, I sp...

missmeliss · missmeliss

On my birthday last Friday, daughter asked me to go down to the waterfront with her so that she could take some pictures. It was rainy and extremely windy and cold and yet I felt really content watching her climb up pylons and hang precariously over edges to take her pictures. I was struck hard by how very...

joker · joker

I have started attending AA meetings again. I do not have a drinking problem, however, its the only 12 step meeting I can attend during the day as there is no al-anon meetings during the day. The more I attend the meetings I am truly amazed how powerful, cunning, baffling this disease is as well as how wid...

joker · joker

I am just sitting her and laughing as I remember what the active alcoholic BF said last week. He was complaining about the amount of money spend on food. He says I only eat 4 dollars a day as I am not home. Since I work night shift and I sleep all day. I am not around to eat. Quit cooking meals and letting food go...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for July 16 speaks about the importance of taking the time to relax because of the benefit to our mental health and well-being.The reading goes on to state that society supports the fact that we should be busy all the time, so that it is often very difficult for us to find the time to jus...

Overcome · Overcome

To follow up on my first post, like I said... "the way to break up with an alcoholic is NOT to get into a relationship with another one." And unfortunately that is just what I did. Like I mentioned in my last post, I had started dating a guy that I had met in an Alzheimer's support group. He had jus...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is a short post. I am feeling more contentment & even joy on some days. Thanks to God & the al anon program I feel a sense of security my life. I even welcome a new day! That is a miracle & so am I.

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 15 speaks about how Al-Anon is an individual program and that each member can work at their own pace. We are each encouraged to keep showing up , use the tools we are comfortable with and move through recovery at our own pace. There are no should's or timetables. The readi...

catlover26 · catlover26

I am new and working on Step one. My f2f group is covering each Step every 2 weeks which I think is fast but I know there is much work I will do on my own. I wish I could find more info on the "Step work Board" but I haven't been able to find it. One forum member did give me some excellent questions on S...

Nightingale · Nightingale

Well....after having my moment of clarity a week and a half ago...I have been to three f2f meetings...started reading my c2c again and tonight dug out my old Paths to Recovery book to read up on step one. It was so nice to go back to my home group and see so many familiar faces. To be welcomed back with open a...

catlover26 · catlover26

I am dating an alcoholic 16 yrs older than me. The age difference I do have to take into account with some of his actions but I don't want to make excuses for him. I think with him growing up with a stern mother and being bullied as a child plus the fact he was drinking from ages 18-42 has left him now at age 71 so...

Herbalist13 · Herbalist13

Please forgive me, everyone. Trying not to vent too much but I can't take it anymore. My partner is one year and two months sober and I am very proud of him and his heartfelt fight for sobriety. We love each other very much despite the bumps in our road (right now they feel pretty huge) but I believe we ha...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

missmeliss · missmeliss

When I met my A, I had been on a strict personal program of "financial reform". After being horribly financially irresponsible in my early 20's I had used motherhood as the catalyst for big changes and I learnt to be very conscientious, credit-free and frugal. I found I'm quite good at it an...

Darcy0408 · Darcy0408

I've only been going great to al-anon for a week and 2 days. I have heard so much about how i have no control over my ah'a drinking. 8 days ago it got so scary that I decided to leave. I've never even threatened to leave before and then there he was wanting to try to make it work. I told him that if he would try to q...

Jerry F · Jerry F

The disease progresses in the next generation with my Daughter in law attempting to handle the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical conflict of our disease as manifested by my eldest son. He is everything I've learned about alcoholism over the past 36years of recovery. So is she yet she is s...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's HFT opens with the first five words of the serenity prayer, then goes on to consider what the word 'serenity' means. For the writer, serenity is thinking of self and others with honor, respect, reverence due as a child of God. One of my most common 'steps backward' is w...

el-cee · el-cee

Mirandac · Mirandac

i was doing so good in my new apt the last three nights i can not go into deep sleep my xah is in my brain when i am sleeping. i think of him all night tossing and turning. it must be still be part of the process of letting go. I hope it ends, i am tired of all this emotional stuff with him. i am so use to taking care...

almostThere · almostThere

Short on time, but had to share. Went to dinner with the A. Haven't done that in a while. mid-dinner she announced that in 3 weeks she's going to take a trip. I won't get into the details of where or why, but she takes this trip with a family member a few times a year, it's for a good purpose and I don't objec...

softie · softie

Hi,this is my first time here not sure what to do , my problem is I cannot say no to my son who has a drink problem.If he asks for money I give it to him even though I know he will spend it on drink . Why can I not simply say no.

Annie1 · Annie1

I have a very high functioning AH. He pays all the bills except childcare, my gas, groceries and the garbage bill. He goes to work everyday and works anywhere from 50-60 hours a week. He almost never calls in. When he does he is either actually sick or its due to staying up to late and drinking too much...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 13 speaks about not being present in our lives or in the present moment because we are too worried about the past or the future. Al-Anon,helps me to see that I have choices about my attitudes. We don't have to see life as a tragedy or torment ourselves with past mistakes or futu...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah has been acting mad at the world lately. He was sober this time two months when in the last two weeks I found out he was drinking again. After another weird fight my ah tells me the reason he has slipped twice in the last two weeks is because he knows GOD is disappointed in him bc he missed his opportunit...

hotrod · hotrod

Happy Birthday my Friend .I pray that this day and the following year brings you joy, peace and serenity.

kwas911 · kwas911

After several years of living with an alcoholic, the decision for inpatient treatment was finally realized. Now that my "qualifier" has been in treatment for several weeks, I am beginning to wonder if it will work. The anger continues and even seems to increase. The blame is non stop....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 12 speaks about Tradition five and discusses the importance of the section that suggests that we attempt to:" encourage and understand our alcoholic relatives." This Tradition also defines the purpose of the Al-Anon program. It points out that in order for us...

Overcome · Overcome

Well, the first thing you don't do is get into a relationship with another alcoholic! LOL On a more serious note though, no one can tell you to break up, or not break up with your alcoholic; that is a decision you and only you can make. For me, it was ten long years of trying to make something work that was nev...

andromeda · andromeda

Among other things, my X is giving my son beer and is using our son as a dumping ground for his emotional problems. He throws me under the bus to our son, he bemoans his life and tells our son how depressed he is and how he's a loser, etc. These are all things he did to me and now he's found a new audience. My so...

Scarlet71 · Scarlet71

Hello, I am new to this forum and am hoping someone can give me some help. I have been with my partner for 3 1/2 years now. We live together and have a good relationship. I am supportive of his recovery and do not interfere with meetings, his recovery is his own. I am not in recovery, I do not drink alcohol an...

el-cee · el-cee

I went to an aa convention last night and im blown away, as always, by the honesty and awareness shared by the speakers. The love and understanding and gratitude shown in the room by everyone is brilliant. I think about this disease as one disease, just alcoholism and how it affects everyone. The alcoh...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

when nothing changes and HOLY COW .. NOTHING has changed. I guess if I didn't know that before I totally get it again and it was a God thing telling me be so glad you are out of that mess. My XAH definitely has the attitude if it doesn't slap him in the face he doesn't need to deal with it. Part of the reason ap...

norasq · norasq

I've had a number of rude awakenings this week, and one big one has to do with realizing how much I still need to work on my own recovery. I've been separated from my functioning alcoholic husband for almost 2 years, after a 20+ year marriage. He continues to deny that he has a problem with alcohol, but at...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Yes he was and I'm here to tell on him. HAH!! surprise surprise I thought he was 45 minutes early and then the room was assembled and the fellowship was handling the issue of recovery and no one...not anyone even took notice or issue of my lateness except me. How the hell did this happen...I can neve...

Iamhere · Iamhere

On Tuesday of this week, a 22 year old young mother of one was shot and killed in a nearby city. She was a classmate of my sons, and has had her own struggles with the disease. The last time I saw her, she had brought my son home from a meeting. Now, she is dead, her parents are devastated and this has thrown m...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Sittin in my favorite spot watching the birds hop around the yard because I just mowed then watered. Hummingbirds flitting around. I've even seen a few American Goldfinches - love those yellow birds! Coffee, birdsong, no roosters crowing, no dogs yapping, peaceful sound of water running - I even ha...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello all, I'm desperately trying to get into the online meeting here, but seem to be somehow lost. I "think" it should be in full swing now, but I logged in to what I thought was the right thing and I am the only one "chatting"... Under the name Gidget. Please help with instructi...

texasgal · texasgal

I've met a man. We have had a good time talking at dinners. It's been nice. He seems nice. I've only had dinner a couple of times with him. My radar is up and I feel like I'm on guard all the time. I'm always looking for red flags when we text or talk. I want to date but I don't know if I'm ready. I feel like maybe I s...

hotrod · hotrod

The July 11 reading in the C2C speaks about dealing with anger. It points out that many times we simply stuff our anger and deny reality or we go off in a fury, directing our feelings outward. Al-Anon encourages us to acknowledge our feelings, to be responsible for how we express them and stop blaming, j...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So the topic of tonight's meeting was "Understanding Ourselves." We talked about our various issues as "Alanoners." The meeting leader shared the issues of the need to be in control and to be perfect. And our tendency to be obsessive. And our issues with anxiety. And how somet...

CountryChicMI · CountryChicMI

His drug addiction spiraled out of control over the course of several years that eventually led him to prison. He has been down a few years and being released later this year. He started out on painkillers then went on using Heroin & whatever he could get his hands onMy biggest fear if he goes back t...

wectmall · wectmall

Hi all. I am new here. My DH is a severe alcoholic. He drinks every waking moment that he is not working or sleeping. He drinks before he goes to work. We have an 11 year old son. My dh was a stay at home dad for 10 years. He did not have money to drink then, so he was so much better. He rarely drank, maybe...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't know if anyone else goes through this from the AH in their lives. I know that he means well but sometimes I feel like I can't get past the fact that he has been doing these things like saying "the water is on, you left it on!" Simple to me. Why can't he just turn it off & say nothing? He is...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	overreacting? (Preview) Hey everyone. I've been lurking here for several weeks, reading posts and attending online meetings. I've now attended a few face to face meetings too, but feel I am just barely beginning to understand the basics of the program and how to apply it. My struggle of the moment is - I'm having a hard time wit...	cloverleaf	17	1065	Jul 18, 2015 by almostThere
	what is going on w the short term memory loss? (Preview) I think my functioning AH is losing it. I really do. No need for details but his short term memory loss is getting worse. He sometimes doesn't even remember doing things. Tonight, it was that he forgot he ordered take out by phone. Me and our youngest come back home shortly after he ordered it and he is mak...	beacheemom	9	780	Jul 18, 2015 by Fairlee
	C2C 7-18 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 18 speaks about Al-Anon recovery as a long-term process of growth and change. That our efforts to speed up this process will more than likely interfere and we will feel frustrated and depressed. "Easy does it " one day at a time , and "Keep it simple" are...	hotrod	2	581	Jul 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Divorce process and crazy (not wishful) thinking (Preview) I served my husband with divorce papers last week. Each and every step of the divorce process has surprised me that instead of relief, I actually feel sadder. I have been married for nearly 2 years. I love my husband very much. I think he loves me too, however I believe he has a drinking problem. I k...	Bluewater	13	925	Jul 18, 2015 by pinkchip
	Insane words of alcoholic just do not end (Preview) Alcoholic Bf is sleeping after a 2 day bender of 24 hours non stop. 1st night was good. I took some sleep medication and slept. He came into the bed a few times and tried to wake me up but I told him to let me sleep. I guess he had none to listen to his drunk talk. He woke up at 9 am and started drinking again. I trie...	joker	3	622	Jul 18, 2015 by pinkchip
	Dealing with an enabling mother and an alcoholic father and his rapid decline. Alcoholic father daddy's girl ACA ACOA enabling (Preview) This is my first time sharing on any support group, I find it is needed to try and clear my head. I am a 20 y/o female who is now married and live over an hour away from my parents who are still married. Growing up I have always said that I did not want my father in my life is he continued drinking. Now that I am old...	Jmunni29	6	7543	Jul 18, 2015 by hotrod
	16 years (Preview) Today is my 16th anniversary. It had been a long road w a lot of bumps & cracks. But today I still love him even though we disagree a lot & sweat the small stuff sometimes. The program both All anon & AA have taught all of us to accept the things we cannot change including people. It is hard when t...	Hoot Nanny	7	620	Jul 17, 2015 by hotrod
	Emotional and verbal abuse (Preview) I am trying to figure out if I have been emotionally and verbally abused and need some clarification. My ah is very negative about everything he can complain and I have asked him repeated to stop but he doesn't. He actually comes to my cubicle after bad meetings and complains to me about how bad they are....	Helpangel	3	806	Jul 17, 2015 by Debb
	On a brighter note (Preview) I have a friend over on the side of the world where most of you guys live. Anyway I was having a very black time one day a couple of months ago and I caught her for a chat very early in the morning, in her timezone. She lives in Michigan USA and she said that she was going outside to plant sunflowers with her dau...	missmeliss	4	649	Jul 17, 2015 by Debb
	Strong/Miserable (Preview) Have a wonderful day everyone!! {{HUGS}}	Debb	8	815	Jul 17, 2015 by almostThere
	I think somehow I have lost myself (Preview) Annie posted below with the heading. Where have I gone? That has stayed with me for several days now. Because it made me look back and see how I have changed over the years in order to accommodate both husband's and son's drinking. When did I become this person who stays at home most of the time. Not that it...	deacon	8	889	Jul 17, 2015 by almostThere
	Overwhlemed with anxiety as my partner enters rehab. (Preview) Hello to everyone here, I am new on this site and have come here as a result of feeling overwhlemed with anxiety on many levels and wondered if any one had some advice or wisdom, which I would welcome so much. My partner of over one year is an alcoholic who has been massively in denial despite many losses in...	Carmel 15	10	749	Jul 17, 2015 by almostThere
	History of the decline of my marriage to an alcoholic, as evident from my Kindle book purchases (Preview) I was going through some stuff today, and came across this list I'd made of the self-help books I bought as I was struggling with stuff in my marriage and coming to terms with the reality of my AH's drinking problem. It's sort of funny (in an ouch/poignant sort of way) how it sums up the progression and I t...	norasq	7	964	Jul 17, 2015 by giraffe13
	Just Simple A Lovely Sign (Preview) Had to share, that I was sitting on my porch just now, thinking about my yearly mammogram coming up this Wednesday afternoon. Of course, not looking forward to Wednesday, it holds a bit more stress for me because I am a four year breast cancer survivor and while I was praying to my HP for strength and goo...	Debb	13	777	Jul 17, 2015 by likemyheart
	C2C 7-17 (Preview) Courage to Change reading for July 17 speaks about being detached from others and being able to learn how to be happy whether the alcoholic is drinking or not.It points out that is important for us to keep in mind that we have our own life and our own destiny and it's must be separated from that of the other...	hotrod	1	551	Jul 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Feel Anger (Preview) I feel pure anger and rage at my alcoholic bf. In fact I can not stand to be near him. I just hate his guts with a passion. All he does is drink, sleep, work. And now that his brother has passed away, he is really drinking. He flies across the country on Sunday for a week. I can not wait for him to leave. Just to no...	joker	8	676	Jul 16, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Giving away the aggravation (Preview) my AH has gotten us in a terrible financial fix..so ive been taking a new tack. here is what happened today urgent notice from our provider of phone/internet past due/shut off possible. im the user of those things mainly but ah wanted to take care of it . he took out a high credit limet credit card and proo...	YARNCRAZY	4	815	Jul 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Can anyone tell me... (Preview) ...when I'm going to be perfect? 'Cause I'm getting tired of doing the same ol' thing over and over again! I mean, yeah, my general outlook is way better than it used to be, and yeah, my anger is far better under control than it used to be, and I'm not adding to my resentment warehouse anymore, and yeah, I sp...	almostThere	9	871	Jul 16, 2015 by Fairlee
	Pictures and ponderings. (Preview) On my birthday last Friday, daughter asked me to go down to the waterfront with her so that she could take some pictures. It was rainy and extremely windy and cold and yet I felt really content watching her climb up pylons and hang precariously over edges to take her pictures. I was struck hard by how very...	missmeliss	8	1049	Jul 16, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	Delusions of the Alcoholic (Preview) I have started attending AA meetings again. I do not have a drinking problem, however, its the only 12 step meeting I can attend during the day as there is no al-anon meetings during the day. The more I attend the meetings I am truly amazed how powerful, cunning, baffling this disease is as well as how wid...	joker	3	3224	Jul 16, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Unrealistic things the alcoholic says (Preview) I am just sitting her and laughing as I remember what the active alcoholic BF said last week. He was complaining about the amount of money spend on food. He says I only eat 4 dollars a day as I am not home. Since I work night shift and I sleep all day. I am not around to eat. Quit cooking meals and letting food go...	joker	7	978	Jul 16, 2015 by CoopsMom
	C2C 7-16 (Preview) C2C reading for July 16 speaks about the importance of taking the time to relax because of the benefit to our mental health and well-being.The reading goes on to state that society supports the fact that we should be busy all the time, so that it is often very difficult for us to find the time to jus...	hotrod	4	626	Jul 16, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	How to Break up with an Alcoholic II (Preview) To follow up on my first post, like I said... "the way to break up with an alcoholic is NOT to get into a relationship with another one." And unfortunately that is just what I did. Like I mentioned in my last post, I had started dating a guy that I had met in an Alzheimer's support group. He had jus...	Overcome	4	1039	Jul 16, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	finally more secure (Preview) This is a short post. I am feeling more contentment & even joy on some days. Thanks to God & the al anon program I feel a sense of security my life. I even welcome a new day! That is a miracle & so am I.	Hoot Nanny	3	496	Jul 15, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 7-15 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 15 speaks about how Al-Anon is an individual program and that each member can work at their own pace. We are each encouraged to keep showing up , use the tools we are comfortable with and move through recovery at our own pace. There are no should's or timetables. The readi...	hotrod	9	716	Jul 15, 2015 by DavidG
	When to work the Traditions? (Preview) I am new and working on Step one. My f2f group is covering each Step every 2 weeks which I think is fast but I know there is much work I will do on my own. I wish I could find more info on the "Step work Board" but I haven't been able to find it. One forum member did give me some excellent questions on S...	catlover26	2	413	Jul 15, 2015 by catlover26
	Firmly planted in step one...again (Preview) Well....after having my moment of clarity a week and a half ago...I have been to three f2f meetings...started reading my c2c again and tonight dug out my old Paths to Recovery book to read up on step one. It was so nice to go back to my home group and see so many familiar faces. To be welcomed back with open a...	Nightingale	4	767	Jul 15, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to accept my boyfriend the way he is (Preview) I am dating an alcoholic 16 yrs older than me. The age difference I do have to take into account with some of his actions but I don't want to make excuses for him. I think with him growing up with a stern mother and being bullied as a child plus the fact he was drinking from ages 18-42 has left him now at age 71 so...	catlover26	3	739	Jul 15, 2015 by hotrod
	Past The First Year And Want To Rip My Hair Out (Preview) Please forgive me, everyone. Trying not to vent too much but I can't take it anymore. My partner is one year and two months sober and I am very proud of him and his heartfelt fight for sobriety. We love each other very much despite the bumps in our road (right now they feel pretty huge) but I believe we ha...	Herbalist13	24	883	Jul 15, 2015 by milkwood
	The Arizona Sky - I am grateful (Preview)	Cathyinaz	13	679	Jul 14, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Tangible rewards. (A long ramble, feel free to ignore) (Preview) When I met my A, I had been on a strict personal program of "financial reform". After being horribly financially irresponsible in my early 20's I had used motherhood as the catalyst for big changes and I learnt to be very conscientious, credit-free and frugal. I found I'm quite good at it an...	missmeliss	12	759	Jul 14, 2015 by Breakingfree
	How do I detach (Preview) I've only been going great to al-anon for a week and 2 days. I have heard so much about how i have no control over my ah'a drinking. 8 days ago it got so scary that I decided to leave. I've never even threatened to leave before and then there he was wanting to try to make it work. I told him that if he would try to q...	Darcy0408	5	759	Jul 14, 2015 by Darcy0408
	Getting past the family... (Preview) The disease progresses in the next generation with my Daughter in law attempting to handle the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical conflict of our disease as manifested by my eldest son. He is everything I've learned about alcoholism over the past 36years of recovery. So is she yet she is s...	Jerry F	3	627	Jul 14, 2015 by hotrod
	Hope for Today July 14 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's HFT opens with the first five words of the serenity prayer, then goes on to consider what the word 'serenity' means. For the writer, serenity is thinking of self and others with honor, respect, reverence due as a child of God. One of my most common 'steps backward' is w...	yanksfan51	10	835	Jul 14, 2015 by maryjane
	True (Preview)	el-cee	4	455	Jul 14, 2015 by Debb
	Three nights sleepless (Preview) i was doing so good in my new apt the last three nights i can not go into deep sleep my xah is in my brain when i am sleeping. i think of him all night tossing and turning. it must be still be part of the process of letting go. I hope it ends, i am tired of all this emotional stuff with him. i am so use to taking care...	Mirandac	24	863	Jul 14, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	A quick birthday ESH (Preview) Short on time, but had to share. Went to dinner with the A. Haven't done that in a while. mid-dinner she announced that in 3 weeks she's going to take a trip. I won't get into the details of where or why, but she takes this trip with a family member a few times a year, it's for a good purpose and I don't objec...	almostThere	7	684	Jul 13, 2015 by maryjane
	cant say no (Preview) Hi,this is my first time here not sure what to do , my problem is I cannot say no to my son who has a drink problem.If he asks for money I give it to him even though I know he will spend it on drink . Why can I not simply say no.	softie	10	814	Jul 13, 2015 by Jerry F
	Where have I gone? AH high functioning kids lost anger hate (Preview) I have a very high functioning AH. He pays all the bills except childcare, my gas, groceries and the garbage bill. He goes to work everyday and works anywhere from 50-60 hours a week. He almost never calls in. When he does he is either actually sick or its due to staying up to late and drinking too much...	Annie1	13	11046	Jul 13, 2015 by Skorpi
	C2C 7=13 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 13 speaks about not being present in our lives or in the present moment because we are too worried about the past or the future. Al-Anon,helps me to see that I have choices about my attitudes. We don't have to see life as a tragedy or torment ourselves with past mistakes or futu...	hotrod	4	595	Jul 13, 2015 by yanksfan51
	Well this is a new one (Preview) My ah has been acting mad at the world lately. He was sober this time two months when in the last two weeks I found out he was drinking again. After another weird fight my ah tells me the reason he has slipped twice in the last two weeks is because he knows GOD is disappointed in him bc he missed his opportunit...	Helpangel	8	688	Jul 13, 2015 by Mattie
	I just heard that "Almost There "has a Birthday today as well (Preview) Happy Birthday my Friend .I pray that this day and the following year brings you joy, peace and serenity.	hotrod	10	656	Jul 13, 2015 by hotrod
	I thought this would be a turning point, for the better! (Preview) After several years of living with an alcoholic, the decision for inpatient treatment was finally realized. Now that my "qualifier" has been in treatment for several weeks, I am beginning to wonder if it will work. The anger continues and even seems to increase. The blame is non stop....	kwas911	3	723	Jul 13, 2015 by almostThere
	C2C 7-12 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 12 speaks about Tradition five and discusses the importance of the section that suggests that we attempt to:" encourage and understand our alcoholic relatives." This Tradition also defines the purpose of the Al-Anon program. It points out that in order for us...	hotrod	6	673	Jul 12, 2015 by hotrod
	How to Break up with an Alcoholic (Preview) Well, the first thing you don't do is get into a relationship with another alcoholic! LOL On a more serious note though, no one can tell you to break up, or not break up with your alcoholic; that is a decision you and only you can make. For me, it was ten long years of trying to make something work that was nev...	Overcome	13	1299	Jul 12, 2015 by Overcome
	X is giving my son beer (Preview) Among other things, my X is giving my son beer and is using our son as a dumping ground for his emotional problems. He throws me under the bus to our son, he bemoans his life and tells our son how depressed he is and how he's a loser, etc. These are all things he did to me and now he's found a new audience. My so...	andromeda	10	730	Jul 12, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Dealing with the women in my partner's AA group (Preview) Hello, I am new to this forum and am hoping someone can give me some help. I have been with my partner for 3 1/2 years now. We live together and have a good relationship. I am supportive of his recovery and do not interfere with meetings, his recovery is his own. I am not in recovery, I do not drink alcohol an...	Scarlet71	5	762	Jul 12, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Listening to recovering alcoholics (Preview) I went to an aa convention last night and im blown away, as always, by the honesty and awareness shared by the speakers. The love and understanding and gratitude shown in the room by everyone is brilliant. I think about this disease as one disease, just alcoholism and how it affects everyone. The alcoh...	el-cee	18	1178	Jul 12, 2015 by Debb
	Nothing changes (Preview) when nothing changes and HOLY COW .. NOTHING has changed. I guess if I didn't know that before I totally get it again and it was a God thing telling me be so glad you are out of that mess. My XAH definitely has the attitude if it doesn't slap him in the face he doesn't need to deal with it. Part of the reason ap...	SerenityRUS	8	661	Jul 12, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	A piece of my crazy: still surprised at the lying (Preview) I've had a number of rude awakenings this week, and one big one has to do with realizing how much I still need to work on my own recovery. I've been separated from my functioning alcoholic husband for almost 2 years, after a 20+ year marriage. He continues to deny that he has a problem with alcohol, but at...	norasq	7	591	Jul 12, 2015 by norasq
	What Jerry F late for a meeting!!!! (Preview) Yes he was and I'm here to tell on him. HAH!! surprise surprise I thought he was 45 minutes early and then the room was assembled and the fellowship was handling the issue of recovery and no one...not anyone even took notice or issue of my lateness except me. How the hell did this happen...I can neve...	Jerry F	4	564	Jul 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Life on Life's Terms.....This Week Has Been A Struggle (Preview) On Tuesday of this week, a 22 year old young mother of one was shot and killed in a nearby city. She was a classmate of my sons, and has had her own struggles with the disease. The last time I saw her, she had brought my son home from a meeting. Now, she is dead, her parents are devastated and this has thrown m...	Iamhere	15	777	Jul 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Happy Saturday! (Preview) Sittin in my favorite spot watching the birds hop around the yard because I just mowed then watered. Hummingbirds flitting around. I've even seen a few American Goldfinches - love those yellow birds! Coffee, birdsong, no roosters crowing, no dogs yapping, peaceful sound of water running - I even ha...	likemyheart	5	547	Jul 11, 2015 by hotrod
	Need help with online meeting info please (Preview) Hello all, I'm desperately trying to get into the online meeting here, but seem to be somehow lost. I "think" it should be in full swing now, but I logged in to what I thought was the right thing and I am the only one "chatting"... Under the name Gidget. Please help with instructi...	Doingmybest	3	513	Jul 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	ready to date??? (Preview) I've met a man. We have had a good time talking at dinners. It's been nice. He seems nice. I've only had dinner a couple of times with him. My radar is up and I feel like I'm on guard all the time. I'm always looking for red flags when we text or talk. I want to date but I don't know if I'm ready. I feel like maybe I s...	texasgal	8	592	Jul 11, 2015 by tiredtonite
	C2C reading 7-11 (Preview) The July 11 reading in the C2C speaks about dealing with anger. It points out that many times we simply stuff our anger and deny reality or we go off in a fury, directing our feelings outward. Al-Anon encourages us to acknowledge our feelings, to be responsible for how we express them and stop blaming, j...	hotrod	5	445	Jul 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Meeting Topic Tonight (Preview) So the topic of tonight's meeting was "Understanding Ourselves." We talked about our various issues as "Alanoners." The meeting leader shared the issues of the need to be in control and to be perfect. And our tendency to be obsessive. And our issues with anxiety. And how somet...	Green Eyes	8	564	Jul 11, 2015 by hotrod
	My friend, an heroin addict is getting released from prison soon & I'm scared (Preview) His drug addiction spiraled out of control over the course of several years that eventually led him to prison. He has been down a few years and being released later this year. He started out on painkillers then went on using Heroin & whatever he could get his hands onMy biggest fear if he goes back t...	CountryChicMI	7	538	Jul 11, 2015 by Beatrice
	Advice please (Preview) Hi all. I am new here. My DH is a severe alcoholic. He drinks every waking moment that he is not working or sleeping. He drinks before he goes to work. We have an 11 year old son. My dh was a stay at home dad for 10 years. He did not have money to drink then, so he was so much better. He rarely drank, maybe...	wectmall	6	543	Jul 11, 2015 by Beatrice
	I keep getting "the don't do it agains" (Preview) I don't know if anyone else goes through this from the AH in their lives. I know that he means well but sometimes I feel like I can't get past the fact that he has been doing these things like saying "the water is on, you left it on!" Simple to me. Why can't he just turn it off & say nothing? He is...	Hoot Nanny	3	566	Jul 10, 2015 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.