I don't know if anyone else goes through this from the AH in their lives. I know that he means well but sometimes I feel like I can't get past the fact that he has been doing these things like saying "the water is on, you left it on!" Simple to me. Why can't he just turn it off & say nothing? He is after all in recovery. I don't seem to do that to him but I think he thinks that everything has to be his way. I guess he may never change. I am just not going to let all this crap bother me. Sometimes I do things behind his back so he will never know what I did. I guess I am bound & determined to get him. I guess his not knowing can be my way of getting my way. In the meantime, we are getting along a lot better than earlier this year. He has begun to focus more on why I am the way I am instead of trying to change my bad habits & hopefully someday he will really forgive me for my mistakes. I am really trying not to engage. I just want him to know that I am part of the team. He is not the one who always does everything like I used to say for years.

I have had times in our marriage when I did only what I felt necessary. I walked a safe line. I did far less than I do now. Definitely the roles are reversed. I think I have shared these scenarios before many times. I am sick & tired of having to go over & over again but I feel sometimes I haven't made any progress. I hope someday I will no longer have to walk on egg shells. I don't want to be a victim of the don't do it agains. I am hoping to change myself enough to get rid of the guilt it causes me.

As they say"Screw guilt!"

Kathleen