The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So the topic of tonight's meeting was "Understanding Ourselves." We talked about our various issues as "Alanoners." The meeting leader shared the issues of the need to be in control and to be perfect. And our tendency to be obsessive. And our issues with anxiety. And how sometimes we look down at our feet and not ahead. As I listened to our meeting leader, I looked down at my feet and realized that I was wearing two different colored flats- one black and one brown. And I became obsessed that someone might take notice of my imperfection. So I kept trying to cover my feet throughout the meeting...and I became more and more anxious.
Um, guess my HP was trying to tell me something. I am a work in progress. Progress, not perfection!
Hi, green eyes, thanks for the giggle early this morning. I do believe I can identify completely with the need for Perfectionism and Control. Before program I know that making mistakes was extremely frightening and I would do anything to cover up my errors.( Of course I don't believe I ever wore two different shoes}, but if I had, I would've attempted to cover them up too.
Being in control was extremely important because that way I believed that I could determine outcomes. How wrong I was.
I love the freedom and wisdom that I have developed by using alanon tools and being willing to look inward and be honest about what I see so I can grow and change
I think the meeting topic was perfect and thank you for giving me a smile
I too laughed outloud at your share - that so sounds like something I would do.....by accident....and not know until I was in public!
I've said it here before - I've actually gotten to meetings before and not had on my shoes. I keep all my shoes on shelves in my garage, and grab them as I walk out....Well - countless times, I've cruised right out the door and arrived in slippers. The good news - it's a meeting and it's not a fashion show. The bad news - I am my own worse critic and berate me while others find it funny.
Finding a sense of humor in recovery has been another gift of the program! I too am very grateful to realize it's all about progress, not perfection!
Make it a great day and enjoy the now...
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Seriously, on those days when your shoes don't match or you realize your shirt has been on inside-out the whole day and no one told you, all you can do is laugh and laugh and laugh.
And then you have an "anxiety dream" about the exact same thing, or some other embarrassing situation, and you wake up and try to tell your subconscious ENOUGH! No more of that, it's not useful. And then hopefully, you laugh some more.
Thank you for posting. Lol it made me laugh! That is true about being perfect and all. I hear that all the time from not just my AH but my daughter as well. "I'm sorry I can't be perfect like you".... those words will be in my head forever.... I sometimes wish I could just "let loose". I used to be that girl., but I am no longer. My oldest daughter tells me all the time how I am not the real me and she senses it. It's sad . I want to be the fun loving mom again.
Seriously, on those days when your shoes don't match or you realize your shirt has been on inside-out the whole day and no one told you, all you can do is laugh and laugh and laugh.
And then you have an "anxiety dream" about the exact same thing, or some other embarrassing situation, and you wake up and try to tell your subconscious ENOUGH! No more of that, it's not useful. And then hopefully, you laugh some more.
I actually purposely wear my shirts inside out sometimes. I like to see peoples reactions. To me, there is nothing more I can do to get a laugh or entertain with this crazy life I have with living with an active alcoholic. Have you heard this song? I really do think it is the story of my life and maybe you all can relate to it as well. :)
Do I stress you out My sweater is on backwards and inside out And you say how appropriate I don't want to dissect everything today I don't mean to pick you apart you see But I can't help it There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off Slap me with a splintered ruler And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already If only I could hunt the hunter
And all I really want is some patience A way to calm the angry voice And all I really want is deliverance Do I wear you out You must wonder why I'm so relentless and all strung out I'm consumed by the chill of solitary I'm like Estella I like to reel it in and then spit it out I'm frustrated by your apathy And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land If only I could meet the Maker
And I am fascinated by the spiritual man I am humbled by his humble nature What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate Someone else to catch this drift And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses Falling all around...all around Why are you so petrified of silence Here can you handle this?
Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines Or when you think you're gonna die Or did you long for the next distraction And all I need now is intellectual intercourse A soul to dig the hole much deeper And I have no concept of time other than it is flying If only I could kill the killer
All I really want is some peace man a place to find a common ground And all I really want is a wavelength All I really want is some comfort A way to get my hands untied And all I really want is some justice...
-- Edited by Tampa on Saturday 11th of July 2015 08:27:48 AM
I am a work in progress. Progress, not perfection!
Hi, green eyes, thanks for the giggle early this morning. I do believe I can identify completely with the need for Perfectionism and Control. Before program I know that making mistakes was extremely frightening and I would do anything to cover up my errors.( Of course I don't believe I ever wore two different shoes}