Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

KT2015 · KT2015

I've recently stumbled across the term gaslighting. I think this is what happens with me and my AH. I want to find out more about it. Here's my example....the other night my husband and I are arguing and he says "and I tried to be more engaged and stay and chat with your family since you got so angry th...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page points to the the true strength and gift of AlAnon meetings and program: growth and recovery. Serial, detailed reports of the negative behavior of others in our lives takes the focus away from ourselves and away from the real, much healthier focus of the program: how we overcame the cha...

ceewi · ceewi

I really need to let go and let God these 3:30 a.m. wake up calls are no longer fun. I always try to over analyze every situation I have no control over this man lol I can't force him to get sober, I don't know if we're going to the dinner on Thursday..should I go solo, do i need to pick him up,what if they ask wh...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about being willing to do the work necessary in recovery. It's about the willingness to ask for help and the willingness to take it. This reading is about reaching out when one needs help, and about reaching out when someone else is in need. For me this makes...

Bonnie8765 · Bonnie8765

I'm very troubled. My adult son and his girlfriend are trying to get their lives together. They are both working, and contributing to the bills, etc. But they are very in-denial of their out-of-control drinking. It's getting violent between them. Many family members are concerned, yet at the...

Worried Wife · Worried Wife

Hello, this is my first post here. My husband (retired) is an alcoholic and physically addicted. He had ascities and a shunt "installed" in his liver a few years ago. He is still currently drinking. It doesn't take much for me to know he is drinking, because I smell it on him and his speech &am...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Everytime I read this board and everytime i think of my own situation..I wish I was a billionaire. If I was I would establish nice affordable apartments for people leaving their partner because of their alcoholic/addict behavior. There are domestic shelters, homeless shelters etc There are drug/...

OceanTide · OceanTide

As some time goes by, I'm starting to realize that I'm letting go of some of the anger and resentment. I know that this is good for me because right now it is only hurting me, but it is also scaring me as I experience new feelings. I am realizing that I do miss this addict/alcoholic in some ways. When our rel...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

After a long week trying to put together my emotions after my boyfriends 4 day binge I finally had a talk with him. I told him that I was having a hard time after everything that happened and that I was working on myself and my boundaries. I also said that I am still not sure that I want to be with him yet when th...

OceanTide · OceanTide

I wanted to share the reading from the One day at a Time Reader for today. It really spoke to me! It talks about not being afraid of anything just for today, and to track down and expose nameless things in my head that I dread but are likely not a reality. It reminds me that HP is in charge if I accept that guida...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I have read quite a bit about how to cope with alcoholism, esp in marriage, but realize my understanding of the physical effects is limited. I am going to order a book that was recommended here, and in the meantime, I wonder if anyone can answer this question. Last night, my AH blew into a breathalyzer. H...

lisad67 · lisad67

I am in the midst of i dont know what, but i know its norhing good......we get through one day of not fighting, only because his son is here, and now that his son has gone home, the bottle of vodka is open and his anger mode is flipped on. Why is it that hevis always the one who needs something when someone has p...

ceewi · ceewi

Wow! Can't believe it's only been a week since I came back through these doors after a long absence I was a hot mess, totally shell shocked..my guy gave me a ring,told me he uses meth and wrecked his bike..ummm ok But guess what. Once I got back to focusing on me,none of that mattered. I was able to detach,...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today, November 23 speaks about the slogan "keep it simple". The reading goes on to point out that many times we become overwhelmed and don't even start a project because we approach the task as a whole iInstead of piece by piece. We can simplify each task by taking it one...

sunflower22 · sunflower22

Hello, I am in dire need of help and I hope someone can inspire me. I have been with a alcoholic/meth addict for 9 years off and on. Currently he has been sober for 2 and 1/2 weeks. 2 and 1/2 weeks ago he randomly relapsed on alcohol, drove his motorcycle drunk and crashed almost killing himself. I feel s...

carolm · carolm

Hi Friends, I think I need some validation today

My 28-year-old AS has used drugs/alcohol to different degrees since he was a teen. He has really struggled. He and I have always been close even though he has lived across the country for most of the last 8 years. About four years ago he was charged with...

Nova · Nova

After dating my first alcoholic boyfriend this year, I've realized that this is the first time in my life I've had to take a real hard look at alcoholism and I am trying to wrap my head around it all... I am a nurse and in my chaotic world of work I am exposed to alcoholics d.a.i.l.y. After 9 years of watching...

ceewi · ceewi

I know the title is strange, a friend told me that when I was whining. .time to put on the big girl panties and deal with it. Loving an addict is not for the weak,you may feel weak at times but all the things that we handle we're pretty tough folks. My 2 hour volunteer event yesterday turned into an all day aff...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I am a bundle of nerves right now. Since I moved out on July 8, due to my AH's lying, hiding, and pattern of saying unkind and cruel things to me in front of our children, I have been renting a little cottage a couple miles from our house. He "does not like" the situation, and keeps telling me I s...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for 11 22 reminds us that alanon is a spiritual program. That one of the results of living with the disease of alcoholism is that we tend to lose our" Spirit" because life become a survival game filled with fear and simply accomplishing the "Daily grind." . W...

Broken513 · Broken513

Not sure why, but I am able to get on the board but not in the chat room. Have I been band? I even restored my computer and still cannot get in

lookingforme · lookingforme

I want to thank everyone who read and gave an answer to my other post. It is most kind of you all. I am starting to learn that being in recovery is the only way to enjoy life. You see, I now realize that I don't really enjoy my life. Who would want to live like I do. I spend way too much of my time thinking...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Why I love my small community so much! I just want to send a shout out to those who come through at times when we really need them & each other. All of you have been there for me I am sure you would help someone if you could even if it were just prayers kind words or thoughts. Some of our members are struggl...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So today is another marked year of doing things very differently .. I don't know if it's been right or wrong .. it just is and I'm ok with that. I will have to go fairly radio silent over the next few months so much has been going on. Biggest issue is we are headed back into court because my X is refusing to fi...

Lee8375 · Lee8375

AW has been going to AA for a couple of months but is continually relapsing back to 3/4 day binges. Ive had to set boundaries and she was told recently that if drunk again in the house then i would ask her to leave and she would only come back in when sobber. Despite a good start she decided to test said bounda...

a4l · a4l

so I've been a posting loon lately totally reactive and not at all sensible. I'm tired. I want to let go and let god with my whole mum situation and I'm not sure how. Drama, drama drama. I feel bad about a family situation, a wide ranging one. I'm taking comfort knowing that were all affected and condition...

lisad67 · lisad67

Last night my abf crashed his motorcycle, pretty much totalled it. I had to pick him up, and he was trashed. I was so angry about the danger hecput himself and the person involved in the accident, never mind his attitude about the entire thing. He thinks he is indestructable. Wechave a three yo and he hel...

ceewi · ceewi

Today I begin a new day I am the master of my abilities and today is going to be a great and beautiful day..dunno who the author is.. Yesterday is done! I'm so glad cuz it was horrible..ya ever try to have a conversation with someone crashing. .umm ookay..ya crashed the bike..didn't go to the hospital..I...

lisad67 · lisad67

One of my challenges is releasing this anger i carry around. Since my abf and i have been together i have taken on so much weight of anger from things that have ocurred, during his drunkiness. Whenever something upsets him, he starys with the heavy drinking. Today he found out something that understan...

lookingforme · lookingforme

It hurts to love an addict. I have a boyfriend that is on my mind all the time. We do not live together, but I would like to live with him He uses and drinks a lot. He calls when he wants to and sometimes it is weeks before he calls me to ask me out. He is addicted to drugs and boozes but I am addicted to him...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today speaks about living life on life's terms. it points out that when we first arrive in alanon, we think we only have one problem- which is that of Living with the disease of alcoholism. As we continue to attend program, we grow and change and believe that since we have such p...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

I am back! But I will probably on codependents board. Who knows! No one probably remembers me--it's been years! Recovering my self as dh got addicted to vicodin (prescription) that stepped up his alcohol use. Took him to rehab a year ago. He is doing much better now. ODAT. It's tough when they b...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

i had a wonderful night at my Ala-non meeting. We had a potluck thanksgiving dinner and there was so much laughter and love and support there. I made scarves for all the members and it was so amazing. Even though i gave out the scaves wrapped and randomly, an awesome thing happened. a mother,grandmothe...

ceewi · ceewi

One day at a time lol..Yesterday was my first 24 hours radio silence. .no calls,no texts..we haven't talked since Monday so it's been hard. Kept telling myself I'd call him in an hour lol, that's how I did it. Kinda forgot how hard it is to love an addict..Have a safe and blessed day

Nova · Nova

I recently ended things with my active alcoholic boyfriend. He didn't drink in front of me so it wasn't in-my-face-obvious, but I knew that something was off. Trying to stay emotionally connected for any period of time was extremely painful and he never liked to talk on the phone (I thought strange)....

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

I need to boost up my confidence today! I need to gear up to go home from work and not allow it to be a battle zone...AGAIN. -I will forgive myself for reacting last night, I let my frustrations boil over and I lost control. I said mean things, I yelled, etc. I haven't done that in a long long time. While to ma...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for 11-20 speaks about alcoholism being a" family disease."It suggests that because of this it is important that in Alanon we find fellowship, a sponsor, steps and traditions so as to help heal a broken spirit. This healing starts when we stop fighting the idea of HP and...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is something I have hardly ever had to do since advancing to be a supervisor. I have too much need to be liked and people please and make everyone happy. I did it though. It was demanded by the rehab owner that I fire one of my therapists...not totally without cause. I still hated it and felt and still f...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

The past few days I have been non-stop thinking of every negative thing my RAH has ever done to me and the kids. Some things, his family also participated in which almost seemed like a conspiracy to split us up. They said "we were only trying to save him." In the process they tried throwing...

ellenla · ellenla

I'm only in Alanon two months. Just found what I think will be my home group--I've been going to three meetings a week, different ones. I'm a fairly quiet person and even the group sharing is a big step (and difficult) for me! Getting a sponser seems insurmountable. How is it done? I just ask?

OceanTide · OceanTide

Wow I was so looking forward to peace from XABF being gone back to "camp" on the other side of the country for a few weeks. I got exactly what I asked HP for...peace and quiet in my little town with no more chances of a run in. Yet here I am crying...why? Well because last time we spoke (almost 2 wee...

KT2015 · KT2015

So my AH had been cutting back on his drinking quite a lot recently. I got hopeful about it. I was too attached to it. And this past weekend when he got extremely drunk both Friday and Saturday night I let hurt me. I went to bed crying. I couldn't help but feel like he was cutting back because he loved me...

ceewi · ceewi

Today I accept the fact that I'm in love with an addict. After good night's sleep I realized I can still love him and go on with my life I will not let his using affect my day. When I start feeling stressed out about the situation I can leave at any time. Today I am happy joyous and free tomorrow lol who knows . ...

texasgal · texasgal

Ever since yesterday I keep going over and over in my mind abt the relationship. What red flags did I ignore. This guy was a smoothe talker and was attentive to my needs. I think he just figured out how I tick and played me. I have always had trust issues. And this incident has really brought up painful memo...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C Reading for 11-19 speaks about the definition of Recovery in alanon The reading suggests that when we first arrive, we are looking NOT for relief from our defects of character that hinders our participation in life. Instead we are looking for answers on how to stop the alcoholic. from drink...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

Hello Everyone, I am new to Al Anon. It was recommended to me by my mother who is an alcoholic sober for 16 years now. I have been going though a very hard time this past year and a half. I left my now ex husband last March and meet my now boyfriend about a month after. We have been together almost everyday sinc...

a4l · a4l

it pains me to admit that she is my trigger, my very loved mother. But I feel like I've had it with her! I know we mostly talk about our frustrations with the alcoholics, but the sick partner to it, co-dependency of which I know I am too, just is driving me insane! I'm trying very hard to stay compassionate b...

cspwil · cspwil

I kind of just am writing this post to vent a little. I am so upset. I crossed my boundaries last night and I let my AH have a fight. I found him talking to other women again and when I asked him about it he actually admitted it. He started yelling at me accusing me of things that I have or would not ever do a...

ceewi · ceewi

Please forgive me if I'm doing this wrong..its been almost 20 years since I've been in a relationship with an addict lol..I was lucky my radar was always able to detect them a mile away..bye But somehow this one got past me..in September I met an amazing man, we'd both been through the emotional blender...

AmZ · AmZ

I recently began attending Al-Anon and love it and can't live without it. It's already begun affecting my life positively and changing my outlook on things! However, one of the things no one has yet touched on is, what if my active AW wants help? So here's the situation: Things obviously never went wel...

Mattie · Mattie

I've been faced with some big challenges in friendships lately and I've been thinking about the patterns that run through my relationships. In many of them, it's mostly me giving and them taking. But I've typically felt I was so lucky to have a partner or a friend that I had no choice but to accept those...

el-cee · el-cee

Alanon has given me many many gifts so far and I know its limitless. What have you got from working this program?

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 18 speaks about the Second Step and being" restored to sanity." as the Step implies. The reading points out that being "restored to sanity" covers more than our ability to function responsibly and realistically.-- It also points out the sane wa...

Debb · Debb

Sigh ... our neighbors are feeding the coyotes in the back woods of our adjoining property. They are not the kind of people you can talk to, they are both addicts and very difficult to get along with. I want to place an anonymous call to the state DEEP to see if they can talk some sense into these people, b...

texasgal · texasgal

My exbf had been texting me for days I ignored him and he showed up at my apt this weekend we talked I said we could text and see what happens. I said the trust had been broken and that I needed a lot of time before I could trust him. Today he called me and stated that he loved me and he loved his old exgf. That he di...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So you know all ive been dealing with. . So again its 2 in the morning. Ah is not home . .Id say that has been at least six times since anc he is going to change, hes been to one recovery meeting and yet im supposed to go to div mediation and agree to 50/50 time? How can i do that? Isnt that irresponsible? Should i...

OceanTide · OceanTide

What are the chances that I would be an hour from home with my team heading a game and run into lying, cheating, XABF and he new woman from his AA group?! Like really!! Can't I just get a break from the noise in my head :( Just thought I would put this out to the universe. Not like I want to tell my friends I'm tr...

vintagebel · vintagebel

Well in six days I marry my alcoholic fiancÃ©. He has stopped drinking seven weeks ago but had a few serious slips & almost a full relapse. For the last six days he's been sober. I think. Of course I'm never completely sure. He's not working. Lost his job when he was busted drunk at work. I've lost my en...

mjferg · mjferg

I am going to another funeral today, a dear aunt has passed and while we have this going on her brother was driving on a very dark road and struck what he believed to be a deer,he stopped and looked but didn't find anything and drove home.The following day a young woman was found over the hill.He is heartsi...

cspwil · cspwil

My husband is an active alcoholic. He has tried to get help numerous times but always continues to fall off the wagon. When he is drunk (which is always) he is extremely mean to me and goes online and talks sexually to other women. This is a pattern with him and every time he apologizes and I take him bac...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Gaslighting (Preview) I've recently stumbled across the term gaslighting. I think this is what happens with me and my AH. I want to find out more about it. Here's my example....the other night my husband and I are arguing and he says "and I tried to be more engaged and stay and chat with your family since you got so angry th...	KT2015	14	1749	Nov 24, 2015 by KT2015
	ODAT 11/24 (Preview) Today's page points to the the true strength and gift of AlAnon meetings and program: growth and recovery. Serial, detailed reports of the negative behavior of others in our lives takes the focus away from ourselves and away from the real, much healthier focus of the program: how we overcame the cha...	Enigmatic	2	711	Nov 24, 2015 by hotrod
	Turning it over to my higher power (Preview) I really need to let go and let God these 3:30 a.m. wake up calls are no longer fun. I always try to over analyze every situation I have no control over this man lol I can't force him to get sober, I don't know if we're going to the dinner on Thursday..should I go solo, do i need to pick him up,what if they ask wh...	ceewi	4	594	Nov 24, 2015 by ceewi
	Hope for today nov 24 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about being willing to do the work necessary in recovery. It's about the willingness to ask for help and the willingness to take it. This reading is about reaching out when one needs help, and about reaching out when someone else is in need. For me this makes...	yanksfan51	2	546	Nov 24, 2015 by hotrod
	Do "Interventions" Do Any Good? (Preview) I'm very troubled. My adult son and his girlfriend are trying to get their lives together. They are both working, and contributing to the bills, etc. But they are very in-denial of their out-of-control drinking. It's getting violent between them. Many family members are concerned, yet at the...	Bonnie8765	21	1159	Nov 23, 2015 by Bonnie8765
	To Be Detox'd or Not To Be Detox'd, that is the question... (Preview) Hello, this is my first post here. My husband (retired) is an alcoholic and physically addicted. He had ascities and a shunt "installed" in his liver a few years ago. He is still currently drinking. It doesn't take much for me to know he is drinking, because I smell it on him and his speech &am...	Worried Wife	3	642	Nov 23, 2015 by hotrod
	OFFTOPIC/Maybe Not (Preview) Everytime I read this board and everytime i think of my own situation..I wish I was a billionaire. If I was I would establish nice affordable apartments for people leaving their partner because of their alcoholic/addict behavior. There are domestic shelters, homeless shelters etc There are drug/...	YARNCRAZY	3	531	Nov 23, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Letting go... (Preview) As some time goes by, I'm starting to realize that I'm letting go of some of the anger and resentment. I know that this is good for me because right now it is only hurting me, but it is also scaring me as I experience new feelings. I am realizing that I do miss this addict/alcoholic in some ways. When our rel...	OceanTide	6	852	Nov 23, 2015 by Green Eyes
	Finally we talked (Preview) After a long week trying to put together my emotions after my boyfriends 4 day binge I finally had a talk with him. I told him that I was having a hard time after everything that happened and that I was working on myself and my boundaries. I also said that I am still not sure that I want to be with him yet when th...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	3	555	Nov 23, 2015 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	One day at a time 11-23 (Preview) I wanted to share the reading from the One day at a Time Reader for today. It really spoke to me! It talks about not being afraid of anything just for today, and to track down and expose nameless things in my head that I dread but are likely not a reality. It reminds me that HP is in charge if I accept that guida...	OceanTide	2	380	Nov 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	Question about BAC (Preview) I have read quite a bit about how to cope with alcoholism, esp in marriage, but realize my understanding of the physical effects is limited. I am going to order a book that was recommended here, and in the meantime, I wonder if anyone can answer this question. Last night, my AH blew into a breathalyzer. H...	oceanpine	4	639	Nov 23, 2015 by Mattie
	so difficult not to engage and just walk away (Preview) I am in the midst of i dont know what, but i know its norhing good......we get through one day of not fighting, only because his son is here, and now that his son has gone home, the bottle of vodka is open and his anger mode is flipped on. Why is it that hevis always the one who needs something when someone has p...	lisad67	7	826	Nov 23, 2015 by ceewi
	Peace (Preview) Wow! Can't believe it's only been a week since I came back through these doors after a long absence I was a hot mess, totally shell shocked..my guy gave me a ring,told me he uses meth and wrecked his bike..ummm ok But guess what. Once I got back to focusing on me,none of that mattered. I was able to detach,...	ceewi	4	493	Nov 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 11-23 (Preview) The C2C reading for today, November 23 speaks about the slogan "keep it simple". The reading goes on to point out that many times we become overwhelmed and don't even start a project because we approach the task as a whole iInstead of piece by piece. We can simplify each task by taking it one...	hotrod	3	683	Nov 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	Please help me (Preview) Hello, I am in dire need of help and I hope someone can inspire me. I have been with a alcoholic/meth addict for 9 years off and on. Currently he has been sober for 2 and 1/2 weeks. 2 and 1/2 weeks ago he randomly relapsed on alcohol, drove his motorcycle drunk and crashed almost killing himself. I feel s...	sunflower22	10	775	Nov 23, 2015 by Debb
	Was I wrong? (Preview) Hi Friends, I think I need some validation today My 28-year-old AS has used drugs/alcohol to different degrees since he was a teen. He has really struggled. He and I have always been close even though he has lived across the country for most of the last 8 years. About four years ago he was charged with...	carolm	2	636	Nov 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	What is right thinking on alcoholism? (Preview) After dating my first alcoholic boyfriend this year, I've realized that this is the first time in my life I've had to take a real hard look at alcoholism and I am trying to wrap my head around it all... I am a nurse and in my chaotic world of work I am exposed to alcoholics d.a.i.l.y. After 9 years of watching...	Nova	6	738	Nov 22, 2015 by Freetime
	Big girl panties (Preview) I know the title is strange, a friend told me that when I was whining. .time to put on the big girl panties and deal with it. Loving an addict is not for the weak,you may feel weak at times but all the things that we handle we're pretty tough folks. My 2 hour volunteer event yesterday turned into an all day aff...	ceewi	6	461	Nov 22, 2015 by ceewi
	So nervous and uneasy (Preview) I am a bundle of nerves right now. Since I moved out on July 8, due to my AH's lying, hiding, and pattern of saying unkind and cruel things to me in front of our children, I have been renting a little cottage a couple miles from our house. He "does not like" the situation, and keeps telling me I s...	oceanpine	4	805	Nov 22, 2015 by oceanpine
	Courage to Change Reading 11-22 (Preview) The C2C reading for 11 22 reminds us that alanon is a spiritual program. That one of the results of living with the disease of alcoholism is that we tend to lose our" Spirit" because life become a survival game filled with fear and simply accomplishing the "Daily grind." . W...	hotrod	9	560	Nov 22, 2015 by hotrod
	chat room entrance (Preview) Not sure why, but I am able to get on the board but not in the chat room. Have I been band? I even restored my computer and still cannot get in	Broken513	16	527	Nov 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Just thinking our loud (Preview) I want to thank everyone who read and gave an answer to my other post. It is most kind of you all. I am starting to learn that being in recovery is the only way to enjoy life. You see, I now realize that I don't really enjoy my life. Who would want to live like I do. I spend way too much of my time thinking...	lookingforme	4	486	Nov 22, 2015 by Debb
	community outreach (Preview) Why I love my small community so much! I just want to send a shout out to those who come through at times when we really need them & each other. All of you have been there for me I am sure you would help someone if you could even if it were just prayers kind words or thoughts. Some of our members are struggl...	Hoot Nanny	5	502	Nov 22, 2015 by Debb
	Another Birthday :) (Preview) So today is another marked year of doing things very differently .. I don't know if it's been right or wrong .. it just is and I'm ok with that. I will have to go fairly radio silent over the next few months so much has been going on. Biggest issue is we are headed back into court because my X is refusing to fi...	SerenityRUS	10	627	Nov 21, 2015 by Jerry F
	Tough day but serenity intact (Preview) AW has been going to AA for a couple of months but is continually relapsing back to 3/4 day binges. Ive had to set boundaries and she was told recently that if drunk again in the house then i would ask her to leave and she would only come back in when sobber. Despite a good start she decided to test said bounda...	Lee8375	3	556	Nov 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	what's my role in this. (Preview) so I've been a posting loon lately totally reactive and not at all sensible. I'm tired. I want to let go and let god with my whole mum situation and I'm not sure how. Drama, drama drama. I feel bad about a family situation, a wide ranging one. I'm taking comfort knowing that were all affected and condition...	a4l	8	637	Nov 21, 2015 by a4l
	searching for the right thing to do (Preview) Last night my abf crashed his motorcycle, pretty much totalled it. I had to pick him up, and he was trashed. I was so angry about the danger hecput himself and the person involved in the accident, never mind his attitude about the entire thing. He thinks he is indestructable. Wechave a three yo and he hel...	lisad67	2	417	Nov 21, 2015 by Debb
	Happy Saturday (Preview) Today I begin a new day I am the master of my abilities and today is going to be a great and beautiful day..dunno who the author is.. Yesterday is done! I'm so glad cuz it was horrible..ya ever try to have a conversation with someone crashing. .umm ookay..ya crashed the bike..didn't go to the hospital..I...	ceewi	5	533	Nov 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	So damn angry (Preview) One of my challenges is releasing this anger i carry around. Since my abf and i have been together i have taken on so much weight of anger from things that have ocurred, during his drunkiness. Whenever something upsets him, he starys with the heavy drinking. Today he found out something that understan...	lisad67	6	702	Nov 21, 2015 by OceanTide
	It hurts (Preview) It hurts to love an addict. I have a boyfriend that is on my mind all the time. We do not live together, but I would like to live with him He uses and drinks a lot. He calls when he wants to and sometimes it is weeks before he calls me to ask me out. He is addicted to drugs and boozes but I am addicted to him...	lookingforme	5	624	Nov 21, 2015 by daze
	Courage to Change reading 11-21 (Preview) The C2C reading for today speaks about living life on life's terms. it points out that when we first arrive in alanon, we think we only have one problem- which is that of Living with the disease of alcoholism. As we continue to attend program, we grow and change and believe that since we have such p...	hotrod	3	452	Nov 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Logging in After Long, Long Time (Preview) I am back! But I will probably on codependents board. Who knows! No one probably remembers me--it's been years! Recovering my self as dh got addicted to vicodin (prescription) that stepped up his alcohol use. Took him to rehab a year ago. He is doing much better now. ODAT. It's tough when they b...	wallsal55	4	410	Nov 20, 2015 by Jerry F
	SORT OF OFFTOPIC.. (Preview) i had a wonderful night at my Ala-non meeting. We had a potluck thanksgiving dinner and there was so much laughter and love and support there. I made scarves for all the members and it was so amazing. Even though i gave out the scaves wrapped and randomly, an awesome thing happened. a mother,grandmothe...	YARNCRAZY	4	662	Nov 20, 2015 by Jerry F
	One day at a time (Preview) One day at a time lol..Yesterday was my first 24 hours radio silence. .no calls,no texts..we haven't talked since Monday so it's been hard. Kept telling myself I'd call him in an hour lol, that's how I did it. Kinda forgot how hard it is to love an addict..Have a safe and blessed day	ceewi	14	749	Nov 20, 2015 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	Struggling after ending things with my alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) I recently ended things with my active alcoholic boyfriend. He didn't drink in front of me so it wasn't in-my-face-obvious, but I knew that something was off. Trying to stay emotionally connected for any period of time was extremely painful and he never liked to talk on the phone (I thought strange)....	Nova	6	598	Nov 20, 2015 by Nightingale
	Pardon me while I fake it, till I make it. (Preview) I need to boost up my confidence today! I need to gear up to go home from work and not allow it to be a battle zone...AGAIN. -I will forgive myself for reacting last night, I let my frustrations boil over and I lost control. I said mean things, I yelled, etc. I haven't done that in a long long time. While to ma...	CoopsMom	17	952	Nov 20, 2015 by TrishaG
	C2C 11-20 (Preview) C2C reading for 11-20 speaks about alcoholism being a" family disease."It suggests that because of this it is important that in Alanon we find fellowship, a sponsor, steps and traditions so as to help heal a broken spirit. This healing starts when we stop fighting the idea of HP and...	hotrod	1	511	Nov 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	You're fired! (Preview) This is something I have hardly ever had to do since advancing to be a supervisor. I have too much need to be liked and people please and make everyone happy. I did it though. It was demanded by the rehab owner that I fire one of my therapists...not totally without cause. I still hated it and felt and still f...	pinkchip	5	581	Nov 20, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Struggling to forgive and forget (Preview) The past few days I have been non-stop thinking of every negative thing my RAH has ever done to me and the kids. Some things, his family also participated in which almost seemed like a conspiracy to split us up. They said "we were only trying to save him." In the process they tried throwing...	Yankeerose	10	735	Nov 19, 2015 by Yankeerose
	The etiquette of getting a sponser (Preview) I'm only in Alanon two months. Just found what I think will be my home group--I've been going to three meetings a week, different ones. I'm a fairly quiet person and even the group sharing is a big step (and difficult) for me! Getting a sponser seems insurmountable. How is it done? I just ask?	ellenla	2	696	Nov 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to let it go (Preview) Wow I was so looking forward to peace from XABF being gone back to "camp" on the other side of the country for a few weeks. I got exactly what I asked HP for...peace and quiet in my little town with no more chances of a run in. Yet here I am crying...why? Well because last time we spoke (almost 2 wee...	OceanTide	3	632	Nov 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Disappointment got me again (Preview) So my AH had been cutting back on his drinking quite a lot recently. I got hopeful about it. I was too attached to it. And this past weekend when he got extremely drunk both Friday and Saturday night I let hurt me. I went to bed crying. I couldn't help but feel like he was cutting back because he loved me...	KT2015	6	762	Nov 19, 2015 by ceewi
	Acceptance - Clarity (Preview) Today I accept the fact that I'm in love with an addict. After good night's sleep I realized I can still love him and go on with my life I will not let his using affect my day. When I start feeling stressed out about the situation I can leave at any time. Today I am happy joyous and free tomorrow lol who knows . ...	ceewi	6	658	Nov 19, 2015 by ceewi
	trust issues (Preview) Ever since yesterday I keep going over and over in my mind abt the relationship. What red flags did I ignore. This guy was a smoothe talker and was attentive to my needs. I think he just figured out how I tick and played me. I have always had trust issues. And this incident has really brought up painful memo...	texasgal	9	876	Nov 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 11-19 (Preview) C2C Reading for 11-19 speaks about the definition of Recovery in alanon The reading suggests that when we first arrive, *we are looking NOT* for relief from *our* defects of character that hinders our participation in life. Instead we are looking for answers on how to stop the alcoholic. from drink...	hotrod	3	523	Nov 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	New and feeling confused (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am new to Al Anon. It was recommended to me by my mother who is an alcoholic sober for 16 years now. I have been going though a very hard time this past year and a half. I left my now ex husband last March and meet my now boyfriend about a month after. We have been together almost everyday sinc...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	6	950	Nov 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	big red trigger. (Preview) it pains me to admit that she is my trigger, my very loved mother. But I feel like I've had it with her! I know we mostly talk about our frustrations with the alcoholics, but the sick partner to it, co-dependency of which I know I am too, just is driving me insane! I'm trying very hard to stay compassionate b...	a4l	10	878	Nov 18, 2015 by a4l
	bad night (Preview) I kind of just am writing this post to vent a little. I am so upset. I crossed my boundaries last night and I let my AH have a fight. I found him talking to other women again and when I asked him about it he actually admitted it. He started yelling at me accusing me of things that I have or would not ever do a...	cspwil	2	615	Nov 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	New to this group (Preview) Please forgive me if I'm doing this wrong..its been almost 20 years since I've been in a relationship with an addict lol..I was lucky my radar was always able to detect them a mile away..bye But somehow this one got past me..in September I met an amazing man, we'd both been through the emotional blender...	ceewi	11	710	Nov 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	What if my AW wants help? (Preview) I recently began attending Al-Anon and love it and can't live without it. It's already begun affecting my life positively and changing my outlook on things! However, one of the things no one has yet touched on is, what if my active AW wants help? So here's the situation: Things obviously never went wel...	AmZ	9	1023	Nov 18, 2015 by Debb
	Reflecting on relationships (Preview) I've been faced with some big challenges in friendships lately and I've been thinking about the patterns that run through my relationships. In many of them, it's mostly me giving and them taking. But I've typically felt I was so lucky to have a partner or a friend that I had no choice but to accept those...	Mattie	17	897	Nov 18, 2015 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	What gifts has Alanon given you? (Preview) Alanon has given me many many gifts so far and I know its limitless. What have you got from working this program?	el-cee	16	916	Nov 18, 2015 by ceewi
	Courage to Change reading for 11-18 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 18 speaks about the Second Step and being" restored to sanity." as the Step implies. The reading points out that being "restored to sanity" covers more than our ability to function responsibly and realistically.-- It also points out the sane wa...	hotrod	3	520	Nov 18, 2015 by andromeda
	Speaking of Boundaries, need some input (Preview) Sigh ... our neighbors are feeding the coyotes in the back woods of our adjoining property. They are not the kind of people you can talk to, they are both addicts and very difficult to get along with. I want to place an anonymous call to the state DEEP to see if they can talk some sense into these people, b...	Debb	9	773	Nov 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	what??? puzzled?? (Preview) My exbf had been texting me for days I ignored him and he showed up at my apt this weekend we talked I said we could text and see what happens. I said the trust had been broken and that I needed a lot of time before I could trust him. Today he called me and stated that he loved me and he loved his old exgf. That he di...	texasgal	12	852	Nov 18, 2015 by texasgal
	more grrrr (Preview) So you know all ive been dealing with. . So again its 2 in the morning. Ah is not home . .Id say that has been at least six times since anc he is going to change, hes been to one recovery meeting and yet im supposed to go to div mediation and agree to 50/50 time? How can i do that? Isnt that irresponsible? Should i...	Theoceancalls	10	758	Nov 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	How not to rage silently... (Preview) What are the chances that I would be an hour from home with my team heading a game and run into lying, cheating, XABF and he new woman from his AA group?! Like really!! Can't I just get a break from the noise in my head :( Just thought I would put this out to the universe. Not like I want to tell my friends I'm tr...	OceanTide	9	822	Nov 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	Marrying My Beloved Alcoholic (Preview) Well in six days I marry my alcoholic fiancÃ©. He has stopped drinking seven weeks ago but had a few serious slips & almost a full relapse. For the last six days he's been sober. I think. Of course I'm never completely sure. He's not working. Lost his job when he was busted drunk at work. I've lost my en...	vintagebel	20	1107	Nov 17, 2015 by karma13
	Another goodbye and a tragedy in the family (Preview) I am going to another funeral today, a dear aunt has passed and while we have this going on her brother was driving on a very dark road and struck what he believed to be a deer,he stopped and looked but didn't find anything and drove home.The following day a young woman was found over the hill.He is heartsi...	mjferg	3	491	Nov 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	new to this and need advice (Preview) My husband is an active alcoholic. He has tried to get help numerous times but always continues to fall off the wagon. When he is drunk (which is always) he is extremely mean to me and goes online and talks sexually to other women. This is a pattern with him and every time he apologizes and I take him bac...	cspwil	11	885	Nov 17, 2015 by Dave2554
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.