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happy early Thanksgiving
(Preview)
Just want to wish everyone a Happy and safe holiday on the most grateful day of the year. At least for me it is. Can't beat power on a special day. Love you all. Hugs.
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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503
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Good bye I love you
(Preview)
I deal with facts,I hate assuming things I'm not a mind reader. I'm in the Let go and Let God stage.. I love this man with all my heart, but living my life in limbo isn't working for me. Last text was Sunday,no mention of our holiday plans..so it's time to take off the ring and move on
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ceewi
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6
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767
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Working on boundaries
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I'm currently working on setting my boundaries with my addict live in boyfriend. I have been writing them down for myself, but I am having a hard time. I know that my boundaries are spastic to me and my situation but I would like to hear some of the boundaries you all have set. Thank you MC
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ItsAllAboutMeMC
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19
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927
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How much can I tell?
(Preview)
I am just two months in Al Anon (no sponser yet though). I am starting to renew and repair my relationship with my adult children--my qualifier is their step-dad. I'm not sure how much I should reveal about what has gone down--addiction, detox, relapse, etc. He is clean, but whether or not "in rec...
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ellenla
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14
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7496
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Courage to Change 11- 25
(Preview)
The C2C reading for November 25 speaks about attending Al-Anon meetings and how, by doing so, we can dedicate ourselves to growing and changing It points out one person might go to a meeting a week does not get a sponsor but still grows only slowly. Usually a crisis brings this leisurely approac...
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hotrod
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2
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688
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Ever feel like?
(Preview)
Has anyone ever felt like the only place they will find their serenity is in prison? I have never ever even considered killing my AH...but It was so close today on more than one account....I kept my mouth shut did the good little girl al anon thing...and yet it is so close.....and that is why I am here and n...
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Broken513
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14
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751
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12 steps...and hp
(Preview)
I just got back from the book store. Idk how to learn and apply the 12 steps. Is it via the books? If so what are your favs. Also, ive never been a spiritual person with God. I am Catholic but ive never found a connection. Im wondeting how hp is going to play a role with my journey. I know its a personal thing, bu...
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lisad67
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6
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680
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Need advice - sick & alcoholic mom, enabling stepdad
(Preview)
Hello all, this is my first time posting - but I am not unfamiliar with Al-anon or codependency. I feel like I have a lot to say and ask but I'm going to try and keep this short and to the point. My mom has been an alcoholic my entire life (I'm 28) and way before I was born, but things have gotten severely worse...
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mcdougallc
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3
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871
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Scared......Nervous.....Excited
(Preview)
Hi everyone!I've come here seeking advice.....support....basically just want to know I'm not alone! I am attending AlAnon, but have not reached out to get a sponsor yet. My AH comes home from Rehab tomorrow. He put himself there 30 days ago. I am scared to death! Prior to him going, I was ready to leave...
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IsLoveEnough
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6
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713
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New to Alanon
(Preview)
I am new to this site, new to Alanon and new to the community I have just moved to. Feeling like I don't have much of a support network here yet. I guess I will introduce myself a bit... I grew up in a home where my dad was an active alcoholic. He left and my parents split when I was around 8 years old. I honestly d...
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RavenGirl
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4
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669
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constant anger at my abf
(Preview)
Is it normal to be constantly mad at my abf? I have tried and tried to he a good mate, understanding, loving, etc. Everytime i open myself up to himband HIS needs, he takes more and disregards my efforts. Things had been going ok the past few weeks, until Friday nite when ge got smasbed and crashed his seco...
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lisad67
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15
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901
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What's wrong with me
(Preview)
boyfreind doing everything he can to get back with me even wants to marry me but when I asked to look at his cell ph. Cause it rings a lot he wouldn't let me.i told him we wasn't gonna work again cause we broke up over his cell ph. He would tell me it was one thing then when I snuck around and looked at it it was lov...
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lookingup
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11
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935
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Gaslighting
(Preview)
I've recently stumbled across the term gaslighting. I think this is what happens with me and my AH. I want to find out more about it. Here's my example....the other night my husband and I are arguing and he says "and I tried to be more engaged and stay and chat with your family since you got so angry th...
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KT2015
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14
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1833
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ODAT 11/24
(Preview)
Today's page points to the the true strength and gift of AlAnon meetings and program: growth and recovery. Serial, detailed reports of the negative behavior of others in our lives takes the focus away from ourselves and away from the real, much healthier focus of the program: how we overcame the cha...
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Enigmatic
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2
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804
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Turning it over to my higher power
(Preview)
I really need to let go and let God these 3:30 a.m. wake up calls are no longer fun. I always try to over analyze every situation I have no control over this man lol I can't force him to get sober, I don't know if we're going to the dinner on Thursday..should I go solo, do i need to pick him up,what if they ask wh...
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ceewi
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4
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638
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Hope for today nov 24
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about being willing to do the work necessary in recovery. It's about the willingness to ask for help and the willingness to take it. This reading is about reaching out when one needs help, and about reaching out when someone else is in need. For me this makes...
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yanksfan51
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2
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581
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Do "Interventions" Do Any Good?
(Preview)
I'm very troubled. My adult son and his girlfriend are trying to get their lives together. They are both working, and contributing to the bills, etc. But they are very in-denial of their out-of-control drinking. It's getting violent between them. Many family members are concerned, yet at the...
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Bonnie8765
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21
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1197
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To Be Detox'd or Not To Be Detox'd, that is the question...
(Preview)
Hello, this is my first post here. My husband (retired) is an alcoholic and physically addicted. He had ascities and a shunt "installed" in his liver a few years ago. He is still currently drinking. It doesn't take much for me to know he is drinking, because I smell it on him and his speech &am...
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Worried Wife
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3
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681
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OFFTOPIC/Maybe Not
(Preview)
Everytime I read this board and everytime i think of my own situation..I wish I was a billionaire. If I was I would establish nice affordable apartments for people leaving their partner because of their alcoholic/addict behavior. There are domestic shelters, homeless shelters etc There are drug/...
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YARNCRAZY
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3
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578
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Letting go...
(Preview)
As some time goes by, I'm starting to realize that I'm letting go of some of the anger and resentment. I know that this is good for me because right now it is only hurting me, but it is also scaring me as I experience new feelings. I am realizing that I do miss this addict/alcoholic in some ways. When our rel...
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OceanTide
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6
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905
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Finally we talked
(Preview)
After a long week trying to put together my emotions after my boyfriends 4 day binge I finally had a talk with him. I told him that I was having a hard time after everything that happened and that I was working on myself and my boundaries. I also said that I am still not sure that I want to be with him yet when th...
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ItsAllAboutMeMC
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3
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589
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One day at a time 11-23
(Preview)
I wanted to share the reading from the One day at a Time Reader for today. It really spoke to me! It talks about not being afraid of anything just for today, and to track down and expose nameless things in my head that I dread but are likely not a reality. It reminds me that HP is in charge if I accept that guida...
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OceanTide
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2
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412
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Question about BAC
(Preview)
I have read quite a bit about how to cope with alcoholism, esp in marriage, but realize my understanding of the physical effects is limited. I am going to order a book that was recommended here, and in the meantime, I wonder if anyone can answer this question. Last night, my AH blew into a breathalyzer. H...
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oceanpine
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4
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679
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so difficult not to engage and just walk away
(Preview)
I am in the midst of i dont know what, but i know its norhing good......we get through one day of not fighting, only because his son is here, and now that his son has gone home, the bottle of vodka is open and his anger mode is flipped on. Why is it that hevis always the one who needs something when someone has p...
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lisad67
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7
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860
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Peace
(Preview)
Wow! Can't believe it's only been a week since I came back through these doors after a long absence I was a hot mess, totally shell shocked..my guy gave me a ring,told me he uses meth and wrecked his bike..ummm ok But guess what. Once I got back to focusing on me,none of that mattered. I was able to detach,...
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ceewi
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4
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525
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Courage to Change Reading 11-23
(Preview)
The C2C reading for today, November 23 speaks about the slogan "keep it simple". The reading goes on to point out that many times we become overwhelmed and don't even start a project because we approach the task as a whole iInstead of piece by piece. We can simplify each task by taking it one...
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hotrod
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3
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713
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Please help me
(Preview)
Hello, I am in dire need of help and I hope someone can inspire me. I have been with a alcoholic/meth addict for 9 years off and on. Currently he has been sober for 2 and 1/2 weeks. 2 and 1/2 weeks ago he randomly relapsed on alcohol, drove his motorcycle drunk and crashed almost killing himself. I feel s...
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sunflower22
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10
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814
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Was I wrong?
(Preview)
Hi Friends, I think I need some validation today  My 28-year-old AS has used drugs/alcohol to different degrees since he was a teen. He has really struggled. He and I have always been close even though he has lived across the country for most of the last 8 years. About four years ago he was charged with...
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carolm
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2
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669
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What is right thinking on alcoholism?
(Preview)
After dating my first alcoholic boyfriend this year, I've realized that this is the first time in my life I've had to take a real hard look at alcoholism and I am trying to wrap my head around it all... I am a nurse and in my chaotic world of work I am exposed to alcoholics d.a.i.l.y. After 9 years of watching...
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Nova
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6
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772
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Big girl panties
(Preview)
I know the title is strange, a friend told me that when I was whining. .time to put on the big girl panties and deal with it. Loving an addict is not for the weak,you may feel weak at times but all the things that we handle we're pretty tough folks. My 2 hour volunteer event yesterday turned into an all day aff...
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ceewi
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6
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493
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So nervous and uneasy
(Preview)
I am a bundle of nerves right now. Since I moved out on July 8, due to my AH's lying, hiding, and pattern of saying unkind and cruel things to me in front of our children, I have been renting a little cottage a couple miles from our house. He "does not like" the situation, and keeps telling me I s...
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oceanpine
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4
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844
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Courage to Change Reading 11-22
(Preview)
The C2C reading for 11 22 reminds us that alanon is a spiritual program. That one of the results of living with the disease of alcoholism is that we tend to lose our" Spirit" because life become a survival game filled with fear and simply accomplishing the "Daily grind." . W...
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hotrod
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9
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593
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chat room entrance
(Preview)
Not sure why, but I am able to get on the board but not in the chat room. Have I been band? I even restored my computer and still cannot get in
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Broken513
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16
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558
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Just thinking our loud
(Preview)
I want to thank everyone who read and gave an answer to my other post. It is most kind of you all. I am starting to learn that being in recovery is the only way to enjoy life. You see, I now realize that I don't really enjoy my life. Who would want to live like I do. I spend way too much of my time thinking...
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lookingforme
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4
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515
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community outreach
(Preview)
Why I love my small community so much! I just want to send a shout out to those who come through at times when we really need them & each other. All of you have been there for me I am sure you would help someone if you could even if it were just prayers kind words or thoughts.
Some of our members are struggl...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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535
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Another Birthday :)
(Preview)
So today is another marked year of doing things very differently .. I don't know if it's been right or wrong .. it just is and I'm ok with that. I will have to go fairly radio silent over the next few months so much has been going on. Biggest issue is we are headed back into court because my X is refusing to fi...
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SerenityRUS
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10
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658
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Tough day but serenity intact
(Preview)
AW has been going to AA for a couple of months but is continually relapsing back to 3/4 day binges. Ive had to set boundaries and she was told recently that if drunk again in the house then i would ask her to leave and she would only come back in when sobber. Despite a good start she decided to test said bounda...
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Lee8375
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3
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585
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what's my role in this.
(Preview)
so I've been a posting loon lately totally reactive and not at all sensible. I'm tired. I want to let go and let god with my whole mum situation and I'm not sure how. Drama, drama drama. I feel bad about a family situation, a wide ranging one. I'm taking comfort knowing that were all affected and condition...
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a4l
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8
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670
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searching for the right thing to do
(Preview)
Last night my abf crashed his motorcycle, pretty much totalled it. I had to pick him up, and he was trashed. I was so angry about the danger hecput himself and the person involved in the accident, never mind his attitude about the entire thing. He thinks he is indestructable. Wechave a three yo and he hel...
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lisad67
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2
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448
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Happy Saturday
(Preview)
Today I begin a new day I am the master of my abilities and today is going to be a great and beautiful day..dunno who the author is.. Yesterday is done! I'm so glad cuz it was horrible..ya ever try to have a conversation with someone crashing. .umm ookay..ya crashed the bike..didn't go to the hospital..I...
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ceewi
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5
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562
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So damn angry
(Preview)
One of my challenges is releasing this anger i carry around. Since my abf and i have been together i have taken on so much weight of anger from things that have ocurred, during his drunkiness. Whenever something upsets him, he starys with the heavy drinking. Today he found out something that understan...
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lisad67
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6
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733
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It hurts
(Preview)
It hurts to love an addict. I have a boyfriend that is on my mind all the time. We do not live together, but I would like to live with him He uses and drinks a lot. He calls when he wants to and sometimes it is weeks before he calls me to ask me out. He is addicted to drugs and boozes but I am addicted to him...
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lookingforme
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5
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655
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Courage to Change reading 11-21
(Preview)
The C2C reading for today speaks about living life on life's terms. it points out that when we first arrive in alanon, we think we only have one problem- which is that of Living with the disease of alcoholism. As we continue to attend program, we grow and change and believe that since we have such p...
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hotrod
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3
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484
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Logging in After Long, Long Time
(Preview)
I am back! But I will probably on codependents board. Who knows! No one probably remembers me--it's been years! Recovering my self as dh got addicted to vicodin (prescription) that stepped up his alcohol use. Took him to rehab a year ago. He is doing much better now. ODAT. It's tough when they b...
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wallsal55
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4
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439
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SORT OF OFFTOPIC..
(Preview)
i had a wonderful night at my Ala-non meeting. We had a potluck thanksgiving dinner and there was so much laughter and love and support there. I made scarves for all the members and it was so amazing. Even though i gave out the scaves wrapped and randomly, an awesome thing happened. a mother,grandmothe...
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YARNCRAZY
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4
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689
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One day at a time
(Preview)
One day at a time lol..Yesterday was my first 24 hours radio silence. .no calls,no texts..we haven't talked since Monday so it's been hard. Kept telling myself I'd call him in an hour lol, that's how I did it. Kinda forgot how hard it is to love an addict..Have a safe and blessed day
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ceewi
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14
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783
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Struggling after ending things with my alcoholic boyfriend
(Preview)
I recently ended things with my active alcoholic boyfriend. He didn't drink in front of me so it wasn't in-my-face-obvious, but I knew that something was off. Trying to stay emotionally connected for any period of time was extremely painful and he never liked to talk on the phone (I thought strange)....
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Nova
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6
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631
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Pardon me while I fake it, till I make it.
(Preview)
I need to boost up my confidence today! I need to gear up to go home from work and not allow it to be a battle zone...AGAIN. -I will forgive myself for reacting last night, I let my frustrations boil over and I lost control. I said mean things, I yelled, etc. I haven't done that in a long long time. While to ma...
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CoopsMom
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17
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982
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C2C 11-20
(Preview)
C2C reading for 11-20 speaks about alcoholism being a" family disease."It suggests that because of this it is important that in Alanon we find fellowship, a sponsor, steps and traditions so as to help heal a broken spirit. This healing starts when we stop fighting the idea of HP and...
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hotrod
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1
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549
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You're fired!
(Preview)
This is something I have hardly ever had to do since advancing to be a supervisor. I have too much need to be liked and people please and make everyone happy. I did it though. It was demanded by the rehab owner that I fire one of my therapists...not totally without cause. I still hated it and felt and still f...
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pinkchip
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5
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615
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Struggling to forgive and forget
(Preview)
The past few days I have been non-stop thinking of every negative thing my RAH has ever done to me and the kids. Some things, his family also participated in which almost seemed like a conspiracy to split us up. They said "we were only trying to save him." In the process they tried throwing...
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Yankeerose
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10
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774
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The etiquette of getting a sponser
(Preview)
I'm only in Alanon two months. Just found what I think will be my home group--I've been going to three meetings a week, different ones. I'm a fairly quiet person and even the group sharing is a big step (and difficult) for me! Getting a sponser seems insurmountable. How is it done? I just ask?
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ellenla
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2
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729
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Trying to let it go
(Preview)
Wow I was so looking forward to peace from XABF being gone back to "camp" on the other side of the country for a few weeks. I got exactly what I asked HP for...peace and quiet in my little town with no more chances of a run in. Yet here I am crying...why? Well because last time we spoke (almost 2 wee...
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OceanTide
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3
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663
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Disappointment got me again
(Preview)
So my AH had been cutting back on his drinking quite a lot recently. I got hopeful about it. I was too attached to it. And this past weekend when he got extremely drunk both Friday and Saturday night I let hurt me. I went to bed crying. I couldn't help but feel like he was cutting back because he loved me...
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KT2015
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6
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794
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Acceptance - Clarity
(Preview)
Today I accept the fact that I'm in love with an addict. After good night's sleep I realized I can still love him and go on with my life I will not let his using affect my day. When I start feeling stressed out about the situation I can leave at any time. Today I am happy joyous and free tomorrow lol who knows . ...
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ceewi
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6
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692
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trust issues
(Preview)
Ever since yesterday I keep going over and over in my mind abt the relationship. What red flags did I ignore. This guy was a smoothe talker and was attentive to my needs. I think he just figured out how I tick and played me. I have always had trust issues. And this incident has really brought up painful memo...
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texasgal
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9
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907
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Courage to Change 11-19
(Preview)
C2C Reading for 11-19 speaks about the definition of Recovery in alanon The reading suggests that when we first arrive, we are looking NOT for relief from our defects of character that hinders our participation in life. Instead we are looking for answers on how to stop the alcoholic. from drink...
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hotrod
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3
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553
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New and feeling confused
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, I am new to Al Anon. It was recommended to me by my mother who is an alcoholic sober for 16 years now. I have been going though a very hard time this past year and a half. I left my now ex husband last March and meet my now boyfriend about a month after. We have been together almost everyday sinc...
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ItsAllAboutMeMC
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6
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979
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big red trigger.
(Preview)
it pains me to admit that she is my trigger, my very loved mother. But I feel like I've had it with her! I know we mostly talk about our frustrations with the alcoholics, but the sick partner to it, co-dependency of which I know I am too, just is driving me insane! I'm trying very hard to stay compassionate b...
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a4l
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10
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910
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bad night
(Preview)
I kind of just am writing this post to vent a little. I am so upset. I crossed my boundaries last night and I let my AH have a fight. I found him talking to other women again and when I asked him about it he actually admitted it. He started yelling at me accusing me of things that I have or would not ever do a...
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cspwil
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2
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647
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