Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

C2C Reading for 11-19 speaks about the definition of Recovery in alanon The reading suggests that when we first arrive, we are looking NOT for relief from our defects of character that hinders our participation in life. Instead we are looking for answers on how to stop the alcoholic. from drink...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

Hello Everyone, I am new to Al Anon. It was recommended to me by my mother who is an alcoholic sober for 16 years now. I have been going though a very hard time this past year and a half. I left my now ex husband last March and meet my now boyfriend about a month after. We have been together almost everyday sinc...

a4l · a4l

it pains me to admit that she is my trigger, my very loved mother. But I feel like I've had it with her! I know we mostly talk about our frustrations with the alcoholics, but the sick partner to it, co-dependency of which I know I am too, just is driving me insane! I'm trying very hard to stay compassionate b...

cspwil · cspwil

I kind of just am writing this post to vent a little. I am so upset. I crossed my boundaries last night and I let my AH have a fight. I found him talking to other women again and when I asked him about it he actually admitted it. He started yelling at me accusing me of things that I have or would not ever do a...

ceewi · ceewi

Please forgive me if I'm doing this wrong..its been almost 20 years since I've been in a relationship with an addict lol..I was lucky my radar was always able to detect them a mile away..bye But somehow this one got past me..in September I met an amazing man, we'd both been through the emotional blender...

AmZ · AmZ

I recently began attending Al-Anon and love it and can't live without it. It's already begun affecting my life positively and changing my outlook on things! However, one of the things no one has yet touched on is, what if my active AW wants help? So here's the situation: Things obviously never went wel...

Mattie · Mattie

I've been faced with some big challenges in friendships lately and I've been thinking about the patterns that run through my relationships. In many of them, it's mostly me giving and them taking. But I've typically felt I was so lucky to have a partner or a friend that I had no choice but to accept those...

el-cee · el-cee

Alanon has given me many many gifts so far and I know its limitless. What have you got from working this program?

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 18 speaks about the Second Step and being" restored to sanity." as the Step implies. The reading points out that being "restored to sanity" covers more than our ability to function responsibly and realistically.-- It also points out the sane wa...

Debb · Debb

Sigh ... our neighbors are feeding the coyotes in the back woods of our adjoining property. They are not the kind of people you can talk to, they are both addicts and very difficult to get along with. I want to place an anonymous call to the state DEEP to see if they can talk some sense into these people, b...

texasgal · texasgal

My exbf had been texting me for days I ignored him and he showed up at my apt this weekend we talked I said we could text and see what happens. I said the trust had been broken and that I needed a lot of time before I could trust him. Today he called me and stated that he loved me and he loved his old exgf. That he di...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So you know all ive been dealing with. . So again its 2 in the morning. Ah is not home . .Id say that has been at least six times since anc he is going to change, hes been to one recovery meeting and yet im supposed to go to div mediation and agree to 50/50 time? How can i do that? Isnt that irresponsible? Should i...

OceanTide · OceanTide

What are the chances that I would be an hour from home with my team heading a game and run into lying, cheating, XABF and he new woman from his AA group?! Like really!! Can't I just get a break from the noise in my head :( Just thought I would put this out to the universe. Not like I want to tell my friends I'm tr...

vintagebel · vintagebel

Well in six days I marry my alcoholic fiancÃ©. He has stopped drinking seven weeks ago but had a few serious slips & almost a full relapse. For the last six days he's been sober. I think. Of course I'm never completely sure. He's not working. Lost his job when he was busted drunk at work. I've lost my en...

mjferg · mjferg

I am going to another funeral today, a dear aunt has passed and while we have this going on her brother was driving on a very dark road and struck what he believed to be a deer,he stopped and looked but didn't find anything and drove home.The following day a young woman was found over the hill.He is heartsi...

cspwil · cspwil

My husband is an active alcoholic. He has tried to get help numerous times but always continues to fall off the wagon. When he is drunk (which is always) he is extremely mean to me and goes online and talks sexually to other women. This is a pattern with him and every time he apologizes and I take him bac...

EbbAndFlow · EbbAndFlow

Now. He is on the bed, snoring and muttering to himself. I woke up in love and in his arms, talking about the future names of our children. We made plans to go to the market to buy ingredients to make cioppino. I kissed him goodbye, told him to take it easy, please. Knocked on the door at 3 o'clock PM. Drun...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the role that service plays in our recovery. The writer speaks about her experience wmoth Alateen; that she is offered a chance to co-sponsor a group and it ends up being a huge part of her recovery. She feels that she receives far more than she has ever...

Luiza · Luiza

Hi. Some of you might remember me. I has been 14 months since I left my ex AH. I went through homelessness and lost my business. However I managed to stay very happy and positive all the time. At about 2 months ago things changed a lot. I was still homeless and living in a hostel, when I met this man (I will cal...

lisad67 · lisad67

I feel questions pouring out everyday. I feel like i want answers, but is it possible? Yesterdat my ABF andci were discussing the future of our child. It is extremely important to me that he doesnt follow his fathers behaviour.....drinking. i expressed the importance of not modeling alcoholic beha...

cspwil · cspwil

just wondering how the online meetings work...how do I log in to attend one of these meetings

a4l · a4l

this was a vent. Essentially, sometimes we have to let go. More specifically, I have to let go. -- Edited by a4l on Monday 16th of November 2015 03:21:24 AM -- Edited by a4l on Monday 16th of November 2015 03:23:00 AM

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page from One Day at a Time in AlAnon has a great reminder about the powerful impact my attitude toward others can have on myself; in this case, my attitude toward the alcoholic. The reading recalls an oft repeated concept that Alcoholism is a disease, the alcoholic is truly sick, and as such I...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for 11 16 speaks about the slogan:" Let Go and Let God". The reading point out that it would be helpful if we could envision the person that we are turning over to HP, wrapped in love, In a warm blanket. When we have this vision, it is easier to Let go and Let God. The quotes...

hotrod · hotrod

rn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 9 has been posted to the Step work Board. Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61181260/alanon-s...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for 11 15 speaks about reacting in a hurt and frightened manner if someone looks angry or speaks in an angry voice to me. The reading states that often the person has stuff going on within them and their mood has nothing to do with us. Our reactions, feeling frightened and guilty is .&q...

family members ... inlaws · lisad67

Im very new here and navigating my way through what i have been denying for five years. That my significant other is indeed an addict and alcoholic. His prior relationships have been people with significant disorders of their own. Almost enabling his behavioyr. The biggest influence inhis life is h...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

i made a last ditch mistake of dragging AH to hospital so they could see his irationality..didnt work and that was my mistake However my HP opened a sort of portal of time yesterday when my AH and I were calm and open and rational. we went out for a meal and we were able to discuss and listen to each other abou...

medicmoni · medicmoni

Yesterday, I had a long talk with my ABF. He relapsed Tuesday night, called me, and berated me for everything he could thing of. After getting in some OT at work yesterday, I headed over to his house. When I saw that he was sober, I decided to talk. I let loose with all that had been on my mind since that Tuesd...

missmeliss · missmeliss

And around the wheel turns...gah! Excuse me if this is a little bit venty but I've been holding it in all day!! I mentioned the other day that my mother seems to be having some serious memory problems and I'm concerned for her. We have these conversations and then a few days later she claims we haven't spo...

inlove · inlove

Now I am faced with a dilemma. Stay is a stable, non alcoholic but not program based relationship or follow my heart. This Al Anon man has been extremely loving and supportive to me through an illness which required surgery and treatment and continues to love and support me emotionally while I try to...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So as i type this im trying fall asleep on a make shift bed in my home office. If u folliw me at all u know my ah has been having a two +yr long drunken sexual affair with what was a "familyfriend". I founnd the texts, emails and pics. .a month ago and yet here I am ob the floor. My daughter sleeps rest...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So since my last updat. . I went to a cnslg session at ah request to "work onforgiveness and getting pastmy anger". Needless to say when she heard fromme that i was nit ready for forgiveness and not seeki.g reconciliation, ah immediately felt i was toblame for how the cnslr responded. She tr...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 14. talks about Step Six and being "entirely ready to have God remove all our defects of character". It suggests that this entire readiness does not appear in a single flash of light, but instead, as we struggle to make progress we become ready a little at a...

Debb · Debb

Alcoholism is a disease the alcoholic is a sick human being we do not punish people for being sick, is a statement that I hear a lot in Al-Anon meetings. When it comes to real acceptance, my instinctive attitude toward the alcoholic is often hostile, as though he/she were the enemy, willfully bent on hu...

1breathatatime · 1breathatatime

I need support to keep working on myself- doing the steps, and loving myself. When my beloved alcoholic continues to blame me, and I continue to search my character for darkness and unconsciousness, he is relentless and skillful at manipulating the fault on to me- he has been bringing up the word chao...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Our news here in the US is flooded with the events currently happening in Paris. I just want to offer thoughts and prayers to any/all MIP members that may be affected by these events. Prayers for a swift resolution and prayers for peace.

lisad67 · lisad67

Im new here, this is my second topic. I have so many questions and puzzles in my mind i want answered and solved. I am a person who needs an answer or reason for impacts in my life. I realize its not always possible. My boyfriend and i had a bad fight last night. It wasnt as bad as usual, because i gave in much so...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am glad that all of you are out there even if I don't feel right sometimes. I have to remember to not get carried away posting. Just know that I am sincere & have good intentions. I am probably not doing the wrong things or saying the wrong things. Maybe these are the reasons I don't feel like I should b...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 13 speaks about the idea that" things that are urgent" are rarely important, and things are important for rarely urgent. This is a very interesting observation I know I prior to alanon used to run about like "Chicken Little " sure that the "...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Does the holidays bring chaos to everyone? My ah who I am separated from has been going to celebrate recovery, a therapist and a pychoanalyst for two months. He has been at the house a lot and we have been getting along ok..now the holidays... Originally I was going somewhere by myself since my daughter...

Theresa B · Theresa B

I'm sitting at my desk at work writing this. I've been here since 5am because I needed to leave the house as my husband began a rampage that started at 3:30 this morning, waking me out of a sound sleep, to tell me how horrible I am and how I drove him into drunkenness last night. Upon entering my office an...

lisad67 · lisad67

I have been with my bf for five yrs. We have a three yo, and my two kids live with us. He is an alcoholic. He drinks everyday. He has been verbally abusive and as i type this he is txting me about how horrible i am. I want to leave him but i have no where to go with three kids and no job. He has made me completely depe...

Debb · Debb

Remember to meditate today even for just 5 minutes. Remember be thankful for the many blessings that come to you each day. You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy. ~ Kahlil Gibran: The Prophet Be careful today on this Friday the 13th! -- E...

Kate19 · Kate19

OK. The subject line isn't really true. I DO want my alcoholic husband to quit drinking, but there's a big part of me that mourns the loss of "Fun Bobby" (Friends reference, I hope y'all get it). He has decided completely on his own to quit drinking and start attending AA. While I fully suppor...

Char724 · Char724

I am new here. I have never had an AH this close before and although I am familiar with the program due to a recovering late Brother in law, it never hit home like this has. This is my neighbor. His live in has left and moved back twice now,this third time he had no one. I understood he was a drinker, but he was n...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

I start this off that way becayse i swear i just dont know who i am, what i feel or what i think. I do think its startinhlg to sink into my ah that im done. I left this house this morning and have stayed away all day. Let him kno i might go to my parents for dinner and woukd like to bring daughter but that if he would...

mjferg · mjferg

I woke up early this morning with a different feeling, a more peaceful feeling than I have had in a while.I have been so busy with school and the grieving that I feel like I kind of lost myself.Yesterday was a day crammed full of work,I ran errands,I wrote three papers and an essay, studied for a test and to...

medicmoni · medicmoni

Thank you to those that have decided to share your story and struggle. I find solace and strength in knowing that I am not alone in my struggles with my ABF. I have found strength in your encouraging posts, and found myself asking this very question last night and today.I have been wrestling with leavin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was disturbed by that topic today as it was the reading we chose at our meeting. I Would rather have almost any other topic today as I wasn't feeling very sane. I didn't try to control the meeting but wanted to share something else. I waited a long time before I shared. I hope no one thought I was having a pr...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 12 speaks about applying the tools of Al-Anon to our everyday life. It uses the example of watching and really listening to people in Al-Anon meetings as they share on the difficult problems that they face. By uncritical listening, we can see how they apply the slo...

Debb · Debb

I have been learning the knack of listening uncritically to everything I hear. If we are consistently focused on our own negativity and confusion, then we are unable to hear and listen to what is being said to us, therefore we do not learn. It is a privilege of wisdom to listen ~ O.W. HolmesHonestly wo...

missmeliss · missmeliss

My mum is only 58. But her memory has been bad for a long time and maybe a year ago I finally figured out she wasn't asking me the same questions over and over because she was trying to wind me up, she honestly didn't remember having asked me a few minutes ago. Well it's getting so much worse. This isn't alcoh...

Debb · Debb

Have you noticed that when you react too emotionally to a situation, even an unjustified verbal attack, it really can make you sick, with actual physical symptoms? Al-Anon has taught me to keep my own well being in mind; I try to detach when the storm clouds of tension and temper appear. This is healt...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 11 speaks about the insanity of the disease of alcoholism. It defines the word insanity as; "doing something the same way over and over and expecting different results. I can certainly identify with this action, because I did this continually - I thought my wa...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I was reviewing some old notes from an Al Anon convention I went to back in July. The speaker asked us these 4 key questions, which I will ask of all of you. This is a great exercise to bring back centeredness and to bring God back into the equation of working your steps: 1. How can I make better contac...

jamky · jamky

I know it's a cleche' people say dont take your loved ones for granted. I have seen it several times this week alone. But tonight I had to say goodbye to my soulmate of 24 years. I had always pictured us growing old together, sitting on a porch in our rockingchairs watching our grandchildren play... all o...

PUPPY · PUPPY

I had a worry that as soon as my son contacted us two weeks ago and told us he's been sober and wants to re established his relationship with us that I would start reverting back to my codependent . He called me on Monday to ask if we could all get together on Saturday.. I said I would call him back after I check...

el-cee · el-cee

I got up this morning, said hello to my higher power, got focussed on my program before I even got out of bed. The morning went so smoothly as if my higher power was telling me something. So right from the off I was presented with choices. My sons gf hurt her leg and took a day off work. Right away I felt some ju...

Lee8375 · Lee8375

May seem a daft question and I know that in some situations the answer may be more to do with personal safety but at what point should someone completely throw the towel in and give up on someone they love. Is it when the loved one stops trying, is it when they revert to type and the full/empty bottles &...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change 11-19 (Preview) C2C Reading for 11-19 speaks about the definition of Recovery in alanon The reading suggests that when we first arrive, *we are looking NOT* for relief from *our* defects of character that hinders our participation in life. Instead we are looking for answers on how to stop the alcoholic. from drink...	hotrod	3	393	Nov 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	New and feeling confused (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am new to Al Anon. It was recommended to me by my mother who is an alcoholic sober for 16 years now. I have been going though a very hard time this past year and a half. I left my now ex husband last March and meet my now boyfriend about a month after. We have been together almost everyday sinc...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	6	828	Nov 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	big red trigger. (Preview) it pains me to admit that she is my trigger, my very loved mother. But I feel like I've had it with her! I know we mostly talk about our frustrations with the alcoholics, but the sick partner to it, co-dependency of which I know I am too, just is driving me insane! I'm trying very hard to stay compassionate b...	a4l	10	747	Nov 18, 2015 by a4l
	bad night (Preview) I kind of just am writing this post to vent a little. I am so upset. I crossed my boundaries last night and I let my AH have a fight. I found him talking to other women again and when I asked him about it he actually admitted it. He started yelling at me accusing me of things that I have or would not ever do a...	cspwil	2	495	Nov 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	New to this group (Preview) Please forgive me if I'm doing this wrong..its been almost 20 years since I've been in a relationship with an addict lol..I was lucky my radar was always able to detect them a mile away..bye But somehow this one got past me..in September I met an amazing man, we'd both been through the emotional blender...	ceewi	11	578	Nov 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	What if my AW wants help? (Preview) I recently began attending Al-Anon and love it and can't live without it. It's already begun affecting my life positively and changing my outlook on things! However, one of the things no one has yet touched on is, what if my active AW wants help? So here's the situation: Things obviously never went wel...	AmZ	9	865	Nov 18, 2015 by Debb
	Reflecting on relationships (Preview) I've been faced with some big challenges in friendships lately and I've been thinking about the patterns that run through my relationships. In many of them, it's mostly me giving and them taking. But I've typically felt I was so lucky to have a partner or a friend that I had no choice but to accept those...	Mattie	17	783	Nov 18, 2015 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	What gifts has Alanon given you? (Preview) Alanon has given me many many gifts so far and I know its limitless. What have you got from working this program?	el-cee	16	791	Nov 18, 2015 by ceewi
	Courage to Change reading for 11-18 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 18 speaks about the Second Step and being" restored to sanity." as the Step implies. The reading points out that being "restored to sanity" covers more than our ability to function responsibly and realistically.-- It also points out the sane wa...	hotrod	3	393	Nov 18, 2015 by andromeda
	Speaking of Boundaries, need some input (Preview) Sigh ... our neighbors are feeding the coyotes in the back woods of our adjoining property. They are not the kind of people you can talk to, they are both addicts and very difficult to get along with. I want to place an anonymous call to the state DEEP to see if they can talk some sense into these people, b...	Debb	9	632	Nov 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	what??? puzzled?? (Preview) My exbf had been texting me for days I ignored him and he showed up at my apt this weekend we talked I said we could text and see what happens. I said the trust had been broken and that I needed a lot of time before I could trust him. Today he called me and stated that he loved me and he loved his old exgf. That he di...	texasgal	12	743	Nov 18, 2015 by texasgal
	more grrrr (Preview) So you know all ive been dealing with. . So again its 2 in the morning. Ah is not home . .Id say that has been at least six times since anc he is going to change, hes been to one recovery meeting and yet im supposed to go to div mediation and agree to 50/50 time? How can i do that? Isnt that irresponsible? Should i...	Theoceancalls	10	642	Nov 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	How not to rage silently... (Preview) What are the chances that I would be an hour from home with my team heading a game and run into lying, cheating, XABF and he new woman from his AA group?! Like really!! Can't I just get a break from the noise in my head :( Just thought I would put this out to the universe. Not like I want to tell my friends I'm tr...	OceanTide	9	707	Nov 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	Marrying My Beloved Alcoholic (Preview) Well in six days I marry my alcoholic fiancÃ©. He has stopped drinking seven weeks ago but had a few serious slips & almost a full relapse. For the last six days he's been sober. I think. Of course I'm never completely sure. He's not working. Lost his job when he was busted drunk at work. I've lost my en...	vintagebel	20	966	Nov 17, 2015 by karma13
	Another goodbye and a tragedy in the family (Preview) I am going to another funeral today, a dear aunt has passed and while we have this going on her brother was driving on a very dark road and struck what he believed to be a deer,he stopped and looked but didn't find anything and drove home.The following day a young woman was found over the hill.He is heartsi...	mjferg	3	366	Nov 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	new to this and need advice (Preview) My husband is an active alcoholic. He has tried to get help numerous times but always continues to fall off the wagon. When he is drunk (which is always) he is extremely mean to me and goes online and talks sexually to other women. This is a pattern with him and every time he apologizes and I take him bac...	cspwil	11	774	Nov 17, 2015 by Dave2554
	First Vent (Preview) Now. He is on the bed, snoring and muttering to himself. I woke up in love and in his arms, talking about the future names of our children. We made plans to go to the market to buy ingredients to make cioppino. I kissed him goodbye, told him to take it easy, please. Knocked on the door at 3 o'clock PM. Drun...	EbbAndFlow	8	482	Nov 17, 2015 by confused2015
	Hope for Today Nov 17 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the role that service plays in our recovery. The writer speaks about her experience wmoth Alateen; that she is offered a chance to co-sponsor a group and it ends up being a huge part of her recovery. She feels that she receives far more than she has ever...	yanksfan51	2	498	Nov 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hello again. Not alcohol but feelings. (Preview) Hi. Some of you might remember me. I has been 14 months since I left my ex AH. I went through homelessness and lost my business. However I managed to stay very happy and positive all the time. At about 2 months ago things changed a lot. I was still homeless and living in a hostel, when I met this man (I will cal...	Luiza	10	679	Nov 16, 2015 by Jerry F
	An Alcoholics denial (Preview) I feel questions pouring out everyday. I feel like i want answers, but is it possible? Yesterdat my ABF andci were discussing the future of our child. It is extremely important to me that he doesnt follow his fathers behaviour.....drinking. i expressed the importance of not modeling alcoholic beha...	lisad67	6	1719	Nov 16, 2015 by Jerry F
	online meetings (Preview) just wondering how the online meetings work...how do I log in to attend one of these meetings	cspwil	1	400	Nov 16, 2015 by OceanTide
	cutting off diseased people. (Preview) this was a vent. Essentially, sometimes we have to let go. More specifically, I have to let go. -- Edited by a4l on Monday 16th of November 2015 03:21:24 AM -- Edited by a4l on Monday 16th of November 2015 03:23:00 AM	a4l	6	749	Nov 16, 2015 by Debb
	ODAT 11/15 Am I Poisoning Myself? (Preview) Today's page from One Day at a Time in AlAnon has a great reminder about the powerful impact my attitude toward others can have on myself; in this case, my attitude toward the alcoholic. The reading recalls an oft repeated concept that Alcoholism is a disease, the alcoholic is truly sick, and as such I...	Enigmatic	5	585	Nov 16, 2015 by el-cee
	Courage to Change reading for 11-16 (Preview) C2C reading for 11 16 speaks about the slogan:" Let Go and Let God". The reading point out that it would be helpful if we could envision the person that we are turning over to HP, wrapped in love, In a warm blanket. When we have this vision, it is easier to Let go and Let God. The quotes...	hotrod	1	376	Nov 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Step 9 (Preview) rn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 9 has been posted to the Step work Board. Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61181260/alanon-s...	hotrod	1	2205	Nov 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading for 11-15 (Preview) C2C reading for 11 15 speaks about reacting in a hurt and frightened manner if someone looks angry or speaks in an angry voice to me. The reading states that often the person has stuff going on within them and their mood has nothing to do with us. Our reactions, feeling frightened and guilty is .&q...	hotrod	1	524	Nov 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	family members ... inlaws (Preview) Im very new here and navigating my way through what i have been denying for five years. That my significant other is indeed an addict and alcoholic. His prior relationships have been people with significant disorders of their own. Almost enabling his behavioyr. The biggest influence inhis life is h...	lisad67	11	616	Nov 16, 2015 by a4l
	awareness and detaching (Preview) i made a last ditch mistake of dragging AH to hospital so they could see his irationality..didnt work and that was my mistake However my HP opened a sort of portal of time yesterday when my AH and I were calm and open and rational. we went out for a meal and we were able to discuss and listen to each other abou...	YARNCRAZY	6	642	Nov 15, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	No closure... (Preview) Yesterday, I had a long talk with my ABF. He relapsed Tuesday night, called me, and berated me for everything he could thing of. After getting in some OT at work yesterday, I headed over to his house. When I saw that he was sober, I decided to talk. I let loose with all that had been on my mind since that Tuesd...	medicmoni	5	742	Nov 15, 2015 by missmeliss
	Icky Sunday (Preview) And around the wheel turns...gah! Excuse me if this is a little bit venty but I've been holding it in all day!! I mentioned the other day that my mother seems to be having some serious memory problems and I'm concerned for her. We have these conversations and then a few days later she claims we haven't spo...	missmeliss	10	590	Nov 15, 2015 by missmeliss
	I fell in love with someone over the years in Al Anon (Preview) Now I am faced with a dilemma. Stay is a stable, non alcoholic but not program based relationship or follow my heart. This Al Anon man has been extremely loving and supportive to me through an illness which required surgery and treatment and continues to love and support me emotionally while I try to...	inlove	13	631	Nov 15, 2015 by inlove
	tired worn out angry depressed. . (Preview) So as i type this im trying fall asleep on a make shift bed in my home office. If u folliw me at all u know my ah has been having a two +yr long drunken sexual affair with what was a "familyfriend". I founnd the texts, emails and pics. .a month ago and yet here I am ob the floor. My daughter sleeps rest...	Theoceancalls	5	424	Nov 15, 2015 by milkwood
	update and encouragement (Preview) So since my last updat. . I went to a cnslg session at ah request to "work onforgiveness and getting pastmy anger". Needless to say when she heard fromme that i was nit ready for forgiveness and not seeki.g reconciliation, ah immediately felt i was toblame for how the cnslr responded. She tr...	Theoceancalls	2	584	Nov 14, 2015 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 11-14 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 14. talks about Step Six and being "entirely ready to have God remove all our defects of character". It suggests that this entire readiness does not appear in a single flash of light, but instead, as we struggle to make progress we become ready a little at a...	hotrod	3	449	Nov 14, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	One Day At A Time Quotes ~ Alcoholism ~ 11/14/15 (Preview) Alcoholism is a disease the alcoholic is a sick human being we do not punish people for being sick, is a statement that I hear a lot in Al-Anon meetings. When it comes to real acceptance, my instinctive attitude toward the alcoholic is often hostile, as though he/she were the enemy, willfully bent on hu...	Debb	2	1861	Nov 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	Not sure where to begin really, feeling so hopeless and constantly blamed. Needing some insight & ongoing support/TLC (Preview) I need support to keep working on myself- doing the steps, and loving myself. When my beloved alcoholic continues to blame me, and I continue to search my character for darkness and unconsciousness, he is relentless and skillful at manipulating the fault on to me- he has been bringing up the word chao...	1breathatatime	11	695	Nov 14, 2015 by Mattie
	Thoughts & Prayers for any MIP family in Paris/Italy (Preview) Our news here in the US is flooded with the events currently happening in Paris. I just want to offer thoughts and prayers to any/all MIP members that may be affected by these events. Prayers for a swift resolution and prayers for peace.	Iamhere	4	236	Nov 14, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	symptoms (Preview) Im new here, this is my second topic. I have so many questions and puzzles in my mind i want answered and solved. I am a person who needs an answer or reason for impacts in my life. I realize its not always possible. My boyfriend and i had a bad fight last night. It wasnt as bad as usual, because i gave in much so...	lisad67	7	753	Nov 13, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	I wasn't going to post: (Preview) I am glad that all of you are out there even if I don't feel right sometimes. I have to remember to not get carried away posting. Just know that I am sincere & have good intentions. I am probably not doing the wrong things or saying the wrong things. Maybe these are the reasons I don't feel like I should b...	Hoot Nanny	3	539	Nov 13, 2015 by Debb
	Courage to Change 11-13 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 13 speaks about the idea that" things that are urgent" are rarely important, and things are important for rarely urgent. This is a very interesting observation I know I prior to alanon used to run about like "Chicken Little " sure that the "...	hotrod	3	575	Nov 13, 2015 by Debb
	Holidays (Preview) Does the holidays bring chaos to everyone? My ah who I am separated from has been going to celebrate recovery, a therapist and a pychoanalyst for two months. He has been at the house a lot and we have been getting along ok..now the holidays... Originally I was going somewhere by myself since my daughter...	Helpangel	7	703	Nov 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	So very tired (Preview) I'm sitting at my desk at work writing this. I've been here since 5am because I needed to leave the house as my husband began a rampage that started at 3:30 this morning, waking me out of a sound sleep, to tell me how horrible I am and how I drove him into drunkenness last night. Upon entering my office an...	Theresa B	13	455	Nov 13, 2015 by Freetime
	new here need help (Preview) I have been with my bf for five yrs. We have a three yo, and my two kids live with us. He is an alcoholic. He drinks everyday. He has been verbally abusive and as i type this he is txting me about how horrible i am. I want to leave him but i have no where to go with three kids and no job. He has made me completely depe...	lisad67	18	685	Nov 13, 2015 by Freetime
	One Day At A Time Quotes ~ Remember ~ 11/13/15 (Preview) Remember to meditate today even for just 5 minutes. Remember be thankful for the many blessings that come to you each day. You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy. ~ Kahlil Gibran: The Prophet Be careful today on this Friday the 13th! -- E...	Debb	3	371	Nov 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	I don't want my husband to quit drinking... (Preview) OK. The subject line isn't really true. I DO want my alcoholic husband to quit drinking, but there's a big part of me that mourns the loss of "Fun Bobby" (Friends reference, I hope y'all get it). He has decided completely on his own to quit drinking and start attending AA. While I fully suppor...	Kate19	17	4245	Nov 12, 2015 by maryjane
	When you love an AH , who says they do not love you the same. (Preview) I am new here. I have never had an AH this close before and although I am familiar with the program due to a recovering late Brother in law, it never hit home like this has. This is my neighbor. His live in has left and moved back twice now,this third time he had no one. I understood he was a drinker, but he was n...	Char724	3	495	Nov 12, 2015 by tiredtonite
	this disease messes with everything (Preview) I start this off that way becayse i swear i just dont know who i am, what i feel or what i think. I do think its startinhlg to sink into my ah that im done. I left this house this morning and have stayed away all day. Let him kno i might go to my parents for dinner and woukd like to bring daughter but that if he would...	Theoceancalls	14	655	Nov 12, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	a struggle with being critical of myself (Preview) I woke up early this morning with a different feeling, a more peaceful feeling than I have had in a while.I have been so busy with school and the grieving that I feel like I kind of lost myself.Yesterday was a day crammed full of work,I ran errands,I wrote three papers and an essay, studied for a test and to...	mjferg	4	702	Nov 12, 2015 by Mattie
	Asking myself daily: Do I stay or do I go? (Preview) Thank you to those that have decided to share your story and struggle. I find solace and strength in knowing that I am not alone in my struggles with my ABF. I have found strength in your encouraging posts, and found myself asking this very question last night and today.I have been wrestling with leavin...	medicmoni	6	768	Nov 12, 2015 by medicmoni
	insanity (Preview) I was disturbed by that topic today as it was the reading we chose at our meeting. I Would rather have almost any other topic today as I wasn't feeling very sane. I didn't try to control the meeting but wanted to share something else. I waited a long time before I shared. I hope no one thought I was having a pr...	Hoot Nanny	6	873	Nov 12, 2015 by hotrod
	Courage to Change Reading for 11-12 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 12 speaks about applying the tools of Al-Anon to our everyday life. It uses the example of watching and really listening to people in Al-Anon meetings as they share on the difficult problems that they face. By uncritical listening, we can see how they apply the slo...	hotrod	1	446	Nov 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	One Day At A Time Quotes ~ Listening ~ 11/12/15 (Preview) I have been learning the knack of listening uncritically to everything I hear. If we are consistently focused on our own negativity and confusion, then we are unable to hear and listen to what is being said to us, therefore we do not learn. It is a privilege of wisdom to listen ~ O.W. HolmesHonestly wo...	Debb	2	480	Nov 12, 2015 by el-cee
	Say something? Let it be? Ugh! (Preview) My mum is only 58. But her memory has been bad for a long time and maybe a year ago I finally figured out she wasn't asking me the same questions over and over because she was trying to wind me up, she honestly didn't remember having asked me a few minutes ago. Well it's getting so much worse. This isn't alcoh...	missmeliss	12	628	Nov 11, 2015 by Mattie
	One Day At A Time Quotes ~ Peace of Mind ~ 11/11/15 (Preview) Have you noticed that when you react too emotionally to a situation, even an unjustified verbal attack, it really can make you sick, with actual physical symptoms? Al-Anon has taught me to keep my own well being in mind; I try to detach when the storm clouds of tension and temper appear. This is healt...	Debb	2	437	Nov 11, 2015 by missmeliss
	C2C 11-11 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 11 speaks about the insanity of the disease of alcoholism. It defines the word insanity as; "doing something the same way over and over and expecting different results. I can certainly identify with this action, because I did this continually - I thought my wa...	hotrod	3	411	Nov 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Things I took from convention (Preview) So, I was reviewing some old notes from an Al Anon convention I went to back in July. The speaker asked us these 4 key questions, which I will ask of all of you. This is a great exercise to bring back centeredness and to bring God back into the equation of working your steps: 1. How can I make better contac...	andromeda	4	514	Nov 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Please stop the madness (Preview) I know it's a cleche' people say dont take your loved ones for granted. I have seen it several times this week alone. But tonight I had to say goodbye to my soulmate of 24 years. I had always pictured us growing old together, sitting on a porch in our rockingchairs watching our grandchildren play... all o...	jamky	7	595	Nov 11, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Detachment (Preview) I had a worry that as soon as my son contacted us two weeks ago and told us he's been sober and wants to re established his relationship with us that I would start reverting back to my codependent . He called me on Monday to ask if we could all get together on Saturday.. I said I would call him back after I check...	PUPPY	9	650	Nov 11, 2015 by Debb
	HP's will = happiness (Preview) I got up this morning, said hello to my higher power, got focussed on my program before I even got out of bed. The morning went so smoothly as if my higher power was telling me something. So right from the off I was presented with choices. My sons gf hurt her leg and took a day off work. Right away I felt some ju...	el-cee	3	522	Nov 11, 2015 by Debb
	At what point does detachment with love move to detachment (Preview) May seem a daft question and I know that in some situations the answer may be more to do with personal safety but at what point should someone completely throw the towel in and give up on someone they love. Is it when the loved one stops trying, is it when they revert to type and the full/empty bottles &...	Lee8375	15	1035	Nov 10, 2015 by Shakti
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.