The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I woke up early this morning with a different feeling, a more peaceful feeling than I have had in a while.I have been so busy with school and the grieving that I feel like I kind of lost myself.Yesterday was a day crammed full of work,I ran errands,I wrote three papers and an essay, studied for a test and took an online test, among other things.I looked around me this morning and thought,"I need a me day",I rarely miss class,in fact even with the death I have only missed one day.So,I am staying home today.I am going to nurture myself.Here is the problem,there is this little voice inside of my head chastising me for missing class!!!Really,after everything I did yesterday and I am still being critical with myself.I am a golden honor student for maintaining a high grade average and I am still extremely hard on myself.Any advice on shutting up that critic inside of me,gosh, my mom was very critical,I could never do anything right or be good enough for her.She used to constantly make me feel like I wasn't good enough.I feel like I am constantly trying to be better and it causes me so much stress,if I could just relax it would help me so much.
Sometimes I tell myself 'this is my lesson for today : relax!'
If the chatter inside my head is really insistent I sit down with pen and paper for an allotted time (5-10 mins for example) and ask the inner-chatterbox 'how can I help you today?' It always amazes me how quickly the chatter fades away when I give it my full attention.
Happy nurturing.
Mary - I can so relate to what you're feeling/thinking - I have a hard time relaxing most moments of most days. I also was not one who could take a 'mental health day', as I felt guilt over not being where I was 'supposed to be'. I actually always ended up going to school or work when I began a mental health day - I just had more peace doing what my original plan was.
I struggle big time with idle time. I tend to be and do much better with structured time. I'm not much help with your topic, but wanted you to know that I can relate to what you are feeling. I have just accepted that being still and relaxing are not strengths. I am grateful that over the last year or so, my sleep has improved ... I struggle with that too. So, the best suggestion I have is the gratitude and assets list + some active meditation maybe.
Good luck - hopefully others will come along with some great ESH! (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I am a professor and I say you have done the right thing to skip the class.
(Seriously, I am a professor. And I seriously say you have done the right thing.)
Your conscience telling you you've done a bad thing is the normal way you get everything done. But sometimes it's like a guard dog and it growls at a friend. Taking care of yourself is like being a friend to yourself.
