Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

jojo8466 · jojo8466

I have come to this site not to be judged or told what an awful person I am. I need support, understanding and guidance. My story is lengthy so bear with me.... 8 years ago I began an affair with a married man who was a recovering alcoholic. He had been sober for over 30 years. He is married to a recoverin...

Vanellope · Vanellope

I have been with my boyfriend for almost five years. Things have gotten worse and worse as time goes on. I know that making him leave wouldnt help him because his mother is an alcoholic as well. I would say that 5 out of 7 days he is asleep when I get home. I get upset because he will not help with any of the hou...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

So AH gets hammered last night. Cuts his foot and it won't stop bleeding so he gets the washing up bowl and soaks his foot in it. yuck. I only found out when he casually mentioned it. Ok off to buy a new bowl. He thought this all perfectly reasonable. My dad used to urinate in his washing up bowl as well as was...

sheebee · sheebee

Hi im new to the goup, and have been married to a functional alcoholic for 5 years. We recently moved back to the UK so that my partner could be closer to family and although I have a limited support network here, Im struggling. Over the last couple of months, his drinking has increased up to 30 can/bottl...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Our reading notes that, in an attempt to survive in an alcohol affected environment, we may have developed ways to survive that no longer serve us well once away from the alcoholic, or upon learning healthier strategies in AlAnon. Or perhaps we took a well-intended action too far, too often, thus los...

John · John

After many years in both AA and Al-Anon I can say that many marriages or relationships don't survive. Why? Because to start with... neither program is a professional marriage or relationship counseling service. Many times people get sober and realize that they don't like or love their spouse any...

Cooper · Cooper

My son has been clean for close to two years, it's been a true blessing to have that kid back in our lives. Yesterday it crashed down, he lives with his sister and she found him lying on his bedroom floor barely conscious. My daughter was gone all day but knows he came home the night before, my son has no me...

KT2015 · KT2015

Hi All, I just spent a week off with my family. In the past a week away with AH and my daughter and all our family coming on different days to visit would have been a nightmare for me. All the anxiety about his drinking, the monitoring, the need to feel like I had to confront every miss step he made and poin...

gabigail · gabigail

hi everyone- This weekend was interesting and eye-opening to my recovery. I so have a long way to go! I get a call at the hospital from my A that she needs me to come up immediately to the hospital. She's scared and she just needs to see me. This was on Friday and her friend that she's been staying with for t...

Hopeful2112 · Hopeful2112

Hey, sorry for the woe is me post, I thi k I just need a vent. I'm an adult child and kind of struggled my whole life, in my early 20's tried to commit suicide and struggled with self esteem, bad relationships and generally feeling like life is just one hard slog. I coped up till now by keeping my feelings pu...

gabigail · gabigail

Today's topic in Courage to Change is a good one. It talks about remembering to take care of ourselves during times of stress and dont ignore your basic needs. During times of crisis it's probably more important to take time out for a f2f meeting, calling your sponsor or getting a breath of fresh air. Do...

greentomato · greentomato

I feel this is a tricky subject to navigate so I'm hoping to read about some of the experiences others have had in relation to dating within the Al Anon/AA communities. Here's my deal in a nutshell: My ex and I split a few months after he entered recovery (less than a year ago). We remain friends and cowork...

Goatchild · Goatchild

I had read the following quote is conference approved literature in AlAnon, but can't find it in my books. Someone said they read it in C2C. I check all the "worrying" and "fear" pages, but can't find it. I also know I read it somewhere, too. Can anyone help me? I am chairing soon and would like to use it as...

Hope4Healing · Hope4Healing

Hi, everyone, I have been here more quietly as things had calmed down a bit with my alcoholic daughter. She is 27 and lives out of the house. I was mostly reading the twelve steps and working on things myself. But we had a crisis Wednesday, in which my daughter was taking pills and cutting herself in a publ...

joker · joker

I have been reading a lot on detachment here on line and its helping me a lot. I just remembered what the abf said the other day. He went on a bender and I had left him for 5 days and during that time I went and got an apartment for myself, and even went camping for the night with my sister and daughter. I told him...

joker · joker

I am so grateful for my plan B! My own apartment. I have not moved furniture in it but I know its there and can escape to it any time. I feel detached from my ABF. He has been sober now for 5 days and is doing a lot of sleeping and just watching TV. Not my problem. Yesterday, I bought myself pots and pans for the ap...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is on the topic of emotions and feelings. Many of us who grew up in an alcoholic home or live/lived with an alcoholic partner have become experts at denying our feelings. For some of us that may mean ignoring feelings and emotions, for others it may be recognizi...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Just a little sat nite pity party. i have a cough/laryngitus and im so annoyed because i have an interview tuesday. All i want is a small job i can do with an average salary and somehow helping people. the world requires driving,computer skills,lifting or other degrees and other certificates. Im a sma...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks about how living in the chaos of alcoholism can bring us to the point where we can't tell the difference between an inconvenience and a crisis; we can tend to react dramatically all the same. The slogan 'how important is it" is suggested to try to regain perspective and bring us back i...

seahorselady · seahorselady

Thank you all for being here = I am finding a lot of intermittent relief from what feels like grief after detaching from my son. I havent heard anything from him in many days and keeping my head in recovery is helping me to keep the focus on me. Going to sleep at night seems to be the hardest for me because the...

lookingup · lookingup

Strange I have feelings of guilt when I'm not the one that committed the crime,xbf is still in jail under a stiff bond,while I'm not knowing when he gets out or if he does,no need in my feeling guilty ,I guess it's because I'm always to blame for everything in my qaulifiers lives,insane but insanity it is...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I just read a news report today that said that researchers have developed a heroin vaccine. Wouldn't it be awesome if they would to the same for alcohol? What a different world we would all live in. It's okay to dream, right? http://www.10news.com/print/28746862/detail.html -- Edited by Green Ey...

MovieGal · MovieGal

Part of the reading said, "what if he said this, Even if it was meant to hurt, it cannot reach the real me, if I stand guard at the door of my mind." So about standing guard. What does this really mean? I am already tense and alert for those little signs that he might be ready to verbally attack me. I frea...

Geraldine · Geraldine

HI I'm new and for the past four months have been with a new man. He's loving and caring and kind but in the first week I noticed that he smelled of alcohol in the morning and I put it down to maybe a spilled drink on his coat or something. Then when he was staying over he would be up and down all night taking his...

Jen444 · Jen444

and why am I terrified? Hello, I'm new here.. My life is a roller coaster and I'm sick of it! I am not the type to reach out and go to meetings but I feel I need to in my life. I know of a meeting in my area and every Sunday I say I'm going to go.. I don't. My fear takes over me!! I feel like I don't belong.. I grew up i...

seahorselady · seahorselady

Hi everyone, Im new to the board and new to the behavior of not enabling. I am here to learn how to detach with love, let go and let god, learn how to set healthy boundaries and feel ok about doing that. Days ago, I have stopped all enabling with my son who lives hundreds of miles away and all hell and homeless...

birdlady · birdlady

Hi all - I'm new to online and am having trouble finding the online meetings. Are they still active? When I sign into the Meeting/Chat Room at the time when there's supposed to be a meeting, I'm the only one there. Tonight I'm trying to find the 7pm EST Sunday evening meeting, but no one else is signed i...

jocelgp · jocelgp

hello everyone, i heard of "online sponsor" in the online meeting. we have no al-anon in my country thus no f2f meetings. how do i look for an online sponsor, how does it work? thanks

lookingup · lookingup

As most of you know I've had to make my a/sister move from my home,got my peace back in my home so I thought,my sister and xa/bf hook up and start hanging out at my neighbors next door ,also addicts,I lose my billfold the other day thought I'd just misplaced it only to find out later that I'd dropped it in my y...

scareddadof3 · scareddadof3

Hello all, i'm new to al anon in general. I'm a married father of three children. Here's my story. My wife has addiction issues. She was into heroin and oxy's prior to us meeting. She went through rehab, a few times, and was placed on suboxone. She's been on suboxone for 7 years. I'm a graduate student and...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I have been separated for 7 months and my ex wants to 'get back together' without going to therapy or program. He comes by and helps cook and clean to see our son and frankly I am feeling so low I am accepting the help for now. My therapist says it is okay for now as we are not intimate. he want...

joker · joker

Well, its day three and abf is still sober. I had left for 5 days and got my own apartment. I am still staying at the house with him since my name is on title but I am still going, he is going to drink any time now that he is over his huge hangover. The pattern is he will and I keep thinking to myself, not your probl...

SueBr · SueBr

How do you set aside worry and regrets?

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

was thinking of waiting til boyfriend was back from his event so he could take me to doctor. BUT i realized, i can go by cab and so took myself to clinic. nothing more serious than a minor virus. I am independent !!! I took care of me. I know some of my pals will understand what that means.. a

123456abcdef · 123456abcdef

I have been working really hard lately at letting go and letting God. And it really has been wonderful. When I start feeling overwhelmed or I begin worrying, I remind myself that it is okay, God is in control and I choose my attitude. I will be okay. With that being said, I have been communicating and loo...

K78333 · K78333

I have finally had it. My daughter, 38 years old and living with my wife and I for 7 months, had come home again intoxicated, middle of the afternoon, despite the warnings and agreement that we had with her when she moved back in. My marriage is stressed because I had not stood by my word from the onset. She...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Oh my, I am delighted. Sat with AH watching TV. He has a glass of wine which he just knocked over. Old me would have lept up. Cleaned it all up. A lot went over his phone. I would have fussed about. Then when I had cleaned everywhere, I would have trotted off to refill his glass. Today, in my fabulous Al-anon m...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today speaks about the fact that we have choices. . The reading suggests that we do not have to react, but can stop, look into our heart determine what we want to do according to our principles then make a decision and act in our own best interest. The reading point out that many ti...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Oh dear, I notice a trait in myself I want to let go of. Yesterday i was in a large group of ladies. A lovely mix of people. Unfortunately I notice one of them seems to be attracted towards me. Feels like a test. As background, I used to swear a lot. A lot. As i recovered and let my rage go, I realised all the foul...

El · El

I have been praying all morning; tprying to hand over my worries to my HP, but I am still worrying and projecting. Today is my AH's birthday. We are going to a retirement party today at a friend's house. Last night A got into a little dispute with his brother in law and of course he/they will be there. My A h...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone- My A and I have been separated, but she's been in the hospital twice. Every time I go visit her, she treats me different than the nurses, her roommate, other visitors, even the people taking out her trash. With me its total disdain. Nit picking everything I'm doing, what I'm not doing but m...

Thinkngal · Thinkngal

I have often said that Alanon has given me my life back. Even so, my body has had autoimmune attacks due to stress. People in and out of the program know me as resilient and happy most of the time, and in most respects it's true. Yet my body reacts this way in those times when I feel my life is controlled by oth...

PatG1025 · PatG1025

I'm forgetful and can't remember if I posted something similar or not. I'm new to the board. I've been in Al-Anon for about 28 years. I'm a double winner as I am also in AA for 30 years (sobriety date 10/25/85). My husband got sober about 8 years after I did, and he had 20 years of sobriety when he passed aw...

joker · joker

I am still so excited, I have my own apartment. I went there today and dropped off my emergency stuff I had kept in the car in case I had to leave the house due to ABF drinking. I am still at the house with him but I know today, I can leave at anytime. I just need to take some things and go to my apartment. I feel suc...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I am going to visit my father who is 85 and dying of liver disease in a week with my 13 year old son who seems to like him. I am staying at a hotel and checking for al anon meetings in the area but cannot seem to find any! (Tarrytown New York). I am feeling extreme anxiety and it will not let up. I a...

hotrod · hotrod

The August 13 reading in the Courage to Change talks about placing people on a pedestal and thinking that they know all the answers and then becoming disappointed when they fail us and prove they are all too human. When they make a mistake or they fail we become devastated and confused The read...

clarabellx · clarabellx

my fiancé is a lovely guy I can tell how much he loves me and wants a life with me and my daughter, but his drinking has been a problem ever since we met. he's told loads of lies. lost jobs and lost his driving licence over it all but he still seems his drinking is normal and its just a guy thing. I've even had hi...

serenity47 · serenity47

Its been a difficult week. I have been visiting my AD and this is the first extended visit with her since sobriety 9 months ago. She has obligations during the day ( work, school) so I just do my own thing and have told her to just keep on with her routine of meetings etc as she wishes even though I am here. T...

joker · joker

Well, I did it. Today, I took possession of my apartment. I went and done the inspection and I can move in anytime. I came home yesterday, the alcoholic was in bad shape. He had not eaten in 5 days, weak, diarrhea and still drinking. The house looked like a bomb went off. The bathroom was beyond disgusted...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I heard from the attorney yesterday and what do you know we are almost done. LOL . this time true story. X has finally submitted his paperwork so we will be going forward and dealing with everything sooner than later. Now the question is did X actually read the agreement. He's not going to be a hap...

one heart · one heart

I am reaching out to gain knowledge and in time peace. Until recently my connection with addition was my father. I was young and most of what I remember is the broken promises and fighting with my mother. I dealt with it the only way I knew how and I am pleased to say my father has now been sober for over 36 yea...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about Step 3 - "Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood him." - and the profound peace that comes when we commit to this step in our program. The reading shares a story about a relative diagnosed with a brain tumor. The writer was suggesting...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Good morning family I am very grateful for my fabulous Al-anon program today. I made the mistake of eating a lot of sugary food yesterday afternoon. I normally eat very healthily. Well my ISM's went into overdrive! Around AH and the world in general. I lost the plot and went nuts and manic for a while....

joker · joker

My emotions are all over the place. I get the keys for my apartment on Friday, but I keep thinking about alcoholic. How will he manage to pay the bills, the mortgage, other bills he has. I know its not my problem but I worry for him as he is not working currently. He is on unemployment insurance and I fear for...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a grateful member of Alanon and ive been thinking about that lesson on expectations and how they can be the root of our unhappiness. We feel disappointed and let down and take it personally when our alcoholic loved ones can't be what we expect them to be or give what we expect them to give. We build up e...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I don't know how y`alls HP likes to mess with you but here is an example of mine. I just went to the VA clinic and my MD told me after reviewing my blood work that my cholesterol was almost off the charts and he was putting me on Statin. I told him I was really into my addiction with sugar and my drug of choi...

el-cee · el-cee

After reading todays ODAT I felt it had a deep meaning and I couldn't just skim over it as I often do if im being honest. It is saying that in any situation we arent happy with we have to find the shortcomings within us that are keeping us trapped or imprisoned in it. Well thats my interpretation of what its s...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the importance of attending meetings in our Al-Anon program. Not only do we break the isolation many of us experience because of this disease, we usually hear something we need to hear and rarely leave a meeting feeling worse. Life is hard and difficult without the disea...

OptimisticPi · OptimisticPi

I'm coming to realize what 'codependent' truly means, and it resonates so much. I don't suffer with alcohol addiction, like so many of my family and friends (how crazy it all links together!)... But I have an addiction of my own. My mother and I both have always said that we're codependent on one anoth...

Nikkosity · Nikkosity

Hello Everyone, I have a wonderful boyfriend. He takes such good care of me; leaves me sweet notes, supports me with any issues, makes me dinner, and always makes sure I know that I am loved. He wakes up at 5 am everyday, eats a healthy breakfast, goes to the gym for an hour before work, and an hour and a half...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ugh...I need help (Preview) I have come to this site not to be judged or told what an awful person I am. I need support, understanding and guidance. My story is lengthy so bear with me.... 8 years ago I began an affair with a married man who was a recovering alcoholic. He had been sober for over 30 years. He is married to a recoverin...	jojo8466	5	510	Aug 18, 2016 by jojo8466
	Things are hard and i dont know what to do (Preview) I have been with my boyfriend for almost five years. Things have gotten worse and worse as time goes on. I know that making him leave wouldnt help him because his mother is an alcoholic as well. I would say that 5 out of 7 days he is asleep when I get home. I get upset because he will not help with any of the hou...	Vanellope	7	513	Aug 18, 2016 by Aerin
	Yuck! (Preview) So AH gets hammered last night. Cuts his foot and it won't stop bleeding so he gets the washing up bowl and soaks his foot in it. yuck. I only found out when he casually mentioned it. Ok off to buy a new bowl. He thought this all perfectly reasonable. My dad used to urinate in his washing up bowl as well as was...	Calm Lady	6	513	Aug 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Living with a functional alcoholic (Preview) Hi im new to the goup, and have been married to a functional alcoholic for 5 years. We recently moved back to the UK so that my partner could be closer to family and although I have a limited support network here, Im struggling. Over the last couple of months, his drinking has increased up to 30 can/bottl...	sheebee	5	2162	Aug 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 8/17 How Might We Frame Our Defects of Character? (Preview) Our reading notes that, in an attempt to survive in an alcohol affected environment, we may have developed ways to survive that no longer serve us well once away from the alcoholic, or upon learning healthier strategies in AlAnon. Or perhaps we took a well-intended action too far, too often, thus los...	Enigmatic	2	447	Aug 17, 2016 by Calm Lady
	AA destroyed our family??? Cult? (Preview) After many years in both AA and Al-Anon I can say that many marriages or relationships don't survive. Why? Because to start with... neither program is a professional marriage or relationship counseling service. Many times people get sober and realize that they don't like or love their spouse any...	John	28	6888	Aug 17, 2016 by Jerry F
	f**k me...back on the merry-go-round (Preview) My son has been clean for close to two years, it's been a true blessing to have that kid back in our lives. Yesterday it crashed down, he lives with his sister and she found him lying on his bedroom floor barely conscious. My daughter was gone all day but knows he came home the night before, my son has no me...	Cooper	16	729	Aug 17, 2016 by lookingup
	Feeling the sanity being restored (Preview) Hi All, I just spent a week off with my family. In the past a week away with AH and my daughter and all our family coming on different days to visit would have been a nightmare for me. All the anxiety about his drinking, the monitoring, the need to feel like I had to confront every miss step he made and poin...	KT2015	14	612	Aug 17, 2016 by el-cee
	My slip up, but more awareness/ teachable moment (Preview) hi everyone- This weekend was interesting and eye-opening to my recovery. I so have a long way to go! I get a call at the hospital from my A that she needs me to come up immediately to the hospital. She's scared and she just needs to see me. This was on Friday and her friend that she's been staying with for t...	gabigail	5	696	Aug 17, 2016 by el-cee
	Sick and tired (Preview) Hey, sorry for the woe is me post, I thi k I just need a vent. I'm an adult child and kind of struggled my whole life, in my early 20's tried to commit suicide and struggled with self esteem, bad relationships and generally feeling like life is just one hard slog. I coped up till now by keeping my feelings pu...	Hopeful2112	1	323	Aug 16, 2016 by Jerry F
	C2C for 8/16 (Preview) Today's topic in Courage to Change is a good one. It talks about remembering to take care of ourselves during times of stress and dont ignore your basic needs. During times of crisis it's probably more important to take time out for a f2f meeting, calling your sponsor or getting a breath of fresh air. Do...	gabigail	1	402	Aug 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Al Anon, AA and Dating (Preview) I feel this is a tricky subject to navigate so I'm hoping to read about some of the experiences others have had in relation to dating within the Al Anon/AA communities. Here's my deal in a nutshell: My ex and I split a few months after he entered recovery (less than a year ago). We remain friends and cowork...	greentomato	2	687	Aug 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Worrying is like a rocking chair (Preview) I had read the following quote is conference approved literature in AlAnon, but can't find it in my books. Someone said they read it in C2C. I check all the "worrying" and "fear" pages, but can't find it. I also know I read it somewhere, too. Can anyone help me? I am chairing soon and would like to use it as...	Goatchild	5	474	Aug 16, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Forcing Inpatient Rehab for Adult Child (Preview) Hi, everyone, I have been here more quietly as things had calmed down a bit with my alcoholic daughter. She is 27 and lives out of the house. I was mostly reading the twelve steps and working on things myself. But we had a crisis Wednesday, in which my daughter was taking pills and cutting herself in a publ...	Hope4Healing	8	570	Aug 16, 2016 by Hope4Healing
	Had some laughs today (Preview) I have been reading a lot on detachment here on line and its helping me a lot. I just remembered what the abf said the other day. He went on a bender and I had left him for 5 days and during that time I went and got an apartment for myself, and even went camping for the night with my sister and daughter. I told him...	joker	4	455	Aug 16, 2016 by El
	Plan B (Preview) I am so grateful for my plan B! My own apartment. I have not moved furniture in it but I know its there and can escape to it any time. I feel detached from my ABF. He has been sober now for 5 days and is doing a lot of sleeping and just watching TV. Not my problem. Yesterday, I bought myself pots and pans for the ap...	joker	10	659	Aug 16, 2016 by KT2015
	Hope for Today August 16 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is on the topic of emotions and feelings. Many of us who grew up in an alcoholic home or live/lived with an alcoholic partner have become experts at denying our feelings. For some of us that may mean ignoring feelings and emotions, for others it may be recognizi...	yanksfan51	1	502	Aug 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	fEELING BLUE (Preview) Just a little sat nite pity party. i have a cough/laryngitus and im so annoyed because i have an interview tuesday. All i want is a small job i can do with an average salary and somehow helping people. the world requires driving,computer skills,lifting or other degrees and other certificates. Im a sma...	YARNCRAZY	5	556	Aug 16, 2016 by lookingup
	Courage to Change 15/8 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks about how living in the chaos of alcoholism can bring us to the point where we can't tell the difference between an inconvenience and a crisis; we can tend to react dramatically all the same. The slogan 'how important is it" is suggested to try to regain perspective and bring us back i...	missmeliss	4	509	Aug 15, 2016 by a4l
	new here and just need to share (Preview) Thank you all for being here = I am finding a lot of intermittent relief from what feels like grief after detaching from my son. I havent heard anything from him in many days and keeping my head in recovery is helping me to keep the focus on me. Going to sleep at night seems to be the hardest for me because the...	seahorselady	5	538	Aug 15, 2016 by seahorselady
	Feelings of guilt? (Preview) Strange I have feelings of guilt when I'm not the one that committed the crime,xbf is still in jail under a stiff bond,while I'm not knowing when he gets out or if he does,no need in my feeling guilty ,I guess it's because I'm always to blame for everything in my qaulifiers lives,insane but insanity it is...	lookingup	2	425	Aug 15, 2016 by lookingup
	Vaccine for Alcoholism? (Preview) I just read a news report today that said that researchers have developed a heroin vaccine. Wouldn't it be awesome if they would to the same for alcohol? What a different world we would all live in. It's okay to dream, right? http://www.10news.com/print/28746862/detail.html -- Edited by Green Ey...	Green Eyes	8	884	Aug 15, 2016 by Calm Lady
	ODAT 8-13 (Preview) Part of the reading said, "what if he said this, Even if it was meant to hurt, it cannot reach the real me, if I stand guard at the door of my mind." So about standing guard. What does this really mean? I am already tense and alert for those little signs that he might be ready to verbally attack me. I frea...	MovieGal	1	445	Aug 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Is he an alcoholic? (Preview) HI I'm new and for the past four months have been with a new man. He's loving and caring and kind but in the first week I noticed that he smelled of alcohol in the morning and I put it down to maybe a spilled drink on his coat or something. Then when he was staying over he would be up and down all night taking his...	Geraldine	18	1042	Aug 15, 2016 by Geraldine
	where do I start (Preview) and why am I terrified? Hello, I'm new here.. My life is a roller coaster and I'm sick of it! I am not the type to reach out and go to meetings but I feel I need to in my life. I know of a meeting in my area and every Sunday I say I'm going to go.. I don't. My fear takes over me!! I feel like I don't belong.. I grew up i...	Jen444	5	463	Aug 15, 2016 by Freetime
	new to board (Preview) Hi everyone, Im new to the board and new to the behavior of not enabling. I am here to learn how to detach with love, let go and let god, learn how to set healthy boundaries and feel ok about doing that. Days ago, I have stopped all enabling with my son who lives hundreds of miles away and all hell and homeless...	seahorselady	13	658	Aug 15, 2016 by seahorselady
	Help with Online meetings (Preview) Hi all - I'm new to online and am having trouble finding the online meetings. Are they still active? When I sign into the Meeting/Chat Room at the time when there's supposed to be a meeting, I'm the only one there. Tonight I'm trying to find the 7pm EST Sunday evening meeting, but no one else is signed i...	birdlady	2	361	Aug 15, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	help, i think i'm in need of a sponsor (Preview) hello everyone, i heard of "online sponsor" in the online meeting. we have no al-anon in my country thus no f2f meetings. how do i look for an online sponsor, how does it work? thanks	jocelgp	6	504	Aug 14, 2016 by jocelgp
	More drama (Preview) As most of you know I've had to make my a/sister move from my home,got my peace back in my home so I thought,my sister and xa/bf hook up and start hanging out at my neighbors next door ,also addicts,I lose my billfold the other day thought I'd just misplaced it only to find out later that I'd dropped it in my y...	lookingup	10	565	Aug 14, 2016 by lookingup
	Dad worried about wifes addictions (Preview) Hello all, i'm new to al anon in general. I'm a married father of three children. Here's my story. My wife has addiction issues. She was into heroin and oxy's prior to us meeting. She went through rehab, a few times, and was placed on suboxone. She's been on suboxone for 7 years. I'm a graduate student and...	scareddadof3	4	449	Aug 14, 2016 by scareddadof3
	Feeling Super Anxious and Confused about my Ex (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have been separated for 7 months and my ex wants to 'get back together' without going to therapy or program. He comes by and helps cook and clean to see our son and frankly I am feeling so low I am accepting the help for now. My therapist says it is okay for now as we are not intimate. he want...	Charlotte22	1	365	Aug 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	walking on egg shells (Preview) Well, its day three and abf is still sober. I had left for 5 days and got my own apartment. I am still staying at the house with him since my name is on title but I am still going, he is going to drink any time now that he is over his huge hangover. The pattern is he will and I keep thinking to myself, not your probl...	joker	4	484	Aug 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Stop the worry and regret (Preview) How do you set aside worry and regrets?	SueBr	2	468	Aug 14, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Proud of me (Preview) was thinking of waiting til boyfriend was back from his event so he could take me to doctor. BUT i realized, i can go by cab and so took myself to clinic. nothing more serious than a minor virus. I am independent !!! I took care of me. I know some of my pals will understand what that means.. a	YARNCRAZY	2	293	Aug 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Overthinking with my Higher Power (Preview) I have been working really hard lately at letting go and letting God. And it really has been wonderful. When I start feeling overwhelmed or I begin worrying, I remind myself that it is okay, God is in control and I choose my attitude. I will be okay. With that being said, I have been communicating and loo...	123456abcdef	5	633	Aug 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Numb! (Preview) I have finally had it. My daughter, 38 years old and living with my wife and I for 7 months, had come home again intoxicated, middle of the afternoon, despite the warnings and agreement that we had with her when she moved back in. My marriage is stressed because I had not stood by my word from the onset. She...	K78333	2	371	Aug 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sharing progress (Preview) Oh my, I am delighted. Sat with AH watching TV. He has a glass of wine which he just knocked over. Old me would have lept up. Cleaned it all up. A lot went over his phone. I would have fussed about. Then when I had cleaned everywhere, I would have trotted off to refill his glass. Today, in my fabulous Al-anon m...	Calm Lady	15	572	Aug 14, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Courage to Change Reading 8-14-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for today speaks about the fact that we have choices. . The reading suggests that we do not have to react, but can stop, look into our heart determine what we want to do according to our principles then make a decision and act in our own best interest. The reading point out that many ti...	hotrod	4	564	Aug 14, 2016 by Lyne
	Reinforcing (Preview) Oh dear, I notice a trait in myself I want to let go of. Yesterday i was in a large group of ladies. A lovely mix of people. Unfortunately I notice one of them seems to be attracted towards me. Feels like a test. As background, I used to swear a lot. A lot. As i recovered and let my rage go, I realised all the foul...	Calm Lady	5	489	Aug 14, 2016 by hotrod
	Trying not to project. (Preview) I have been praying all morning; tprying to hand over my worries to my HP, but I am still worrying and projecting. Today is my AH's birthday. We are going to a retirement party today at a friend's house. Last night A got into a little dispute with his brother in law and of course he/they will be there. My A h...	El	6	502	Aug 14, 2016 by Doingmybest
	Maybe I'm taking it personally; maybe she really hates me (Preview) Hi everyone- My A and I have been separated, but she's been in the hospital twice. Every time I go visit her, she treats me different than the nurses, her roommate, other visitors, even the people taking out her trash. With me its total disdain. Nit picking everything I'm doing, what I'm not doing but m...	gabigail	9	844	Aug 13, 2016 by gabigail
	Control (Preview) I have often said that Alanon has given me my life back. Even so, my body has had autoimmune attacks due to stress. People in and out of the program know me as resilient and happy most of the time, and in most respects it's true. Yet my body reacts this way in those times when I feel my life is controlled by oth...	Thinkngal	12	718	Aug 13, 2016 by NSBlue
	New to Board (Preview) I'm forgetful and can't remember if I posted something similar or not. I'm new to the board. I've been in Al-Anon for about 28 years. I'm a double winner as I am also in AA for 30 years (sobriety date 10/25/85). My husband got sober about 8 years after I did, and he had 20 years of sobriety when he passed aw...	PatG1025	6	398	Aug 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Relief (Preview) I am still so excited, I have my own apartment. I went there today and dropped off my emergency stuff I had kept in the car in case I had to leave the house due to ABF drinking. I am still at the house with him but I know today, I can leave at anytime. I just need to take some things and go to my apartment. I feel suc...	joker	4	408	Aug 13, 2016 by Thinkngal
	feeling EXTREME ANXIETY going to visit rageful elderly alcoholic father..need Al Anon HELP and PRAYERS!! (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am going to visit my father who is 85 and dying of liver disease in a week with my 13 year old son who seems to like him. I am staying at a hotel and checking for al anon meetings in the area but cannot seem to find any! (Tarrytown New York). I am feeling extreme anxiety and it will not let up. I a...	Charlotte22	7	499	Aug 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C Reading 8-13-2016 (Preview) The August 13 reading in the Courage to Change talks about placing people on a pedestal and thinking that they know all the answers and then becoming disappointed when they fail us and prove they are all too human. When they make a mistake or they fail we become devastated and confused The read...	hotrod	3	476	Aug 13, 2016 by PatG1025
	i need help moving on from my fiance who i adore but has a drinking problem (Preview) my fiancé is a lovely guy I can tell how much he loves me and wants a life with me and my daughter, but his drinking has been a problem ever since we met. he's told loads of lies. lost jobs and lost his driving licence over it all but he still seems his drinking is normal and its just a guy thing. I've even had hi...	clarabellx	7	492	Aug 13, 2016 by clarabellx
	taking it personally/expectations (Preview) Its been a difficult week. I have been visiting my AD and this is the first extended visit with her since sobriety 9 months ago. She has obligations during the day ( work, school) so I just do my own thing and have told her to just keep on with her routine of meetings etc as she wishes even though I am here. T...	serenity47	4	532	Aug 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Got the apartment (Preview) Well, I did it. Today, I took possession of my apartment. I went and done the inspection and I can move in anytime. I came home yesterday, the alcoholic was in bad shape. He had not eaten in 5 days, weak, diarrhea and still drinking. The house looked like a bomb went off. The bathroom was beyond disgusted...	joker	3	445	Aug 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Attorney News (Preview) So I heard from the attorney yesterday and what do you know we are almost done. LOL . this time true story. X has finally submitted his paperwork so we will be going forward and dealing with everything sooner than later. Now the question is did X actually read the agreement. He's not going to be a hap...	SerenityRUS	2	404	Aug 12, 2016 by OceanTide
	New & Clueless But Hopeful (Preview) I am reaching out to gain knowledge and in time peace. Until recently my connection with addition was my father. I was young and most of what I remember is the broken promises and fighting with my mother. I dealt with it the only way I knew how and I am pleased to say my father has now been sober for over 36 yea...	one heart	2	448	Aug 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/12/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about Step 3 - "Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood him." - and the profound peace that comes when we commit to this step in our program. The reading shares a story about a relative diagnosed with a brain tumor. The writer was suggesting...	Iamhere	8	493	Aug 12, 2016 by PatG1025
	Overdrive! (Preview) Good morning family I am very grateful for my fabulous Al-anon program today. I made the mistake of eating a lot of sugary food yesterday afternoon. I normally eat very healthily. Well my ISM's went into overdrive! Around AH and the world in general. I lost the plot and went nuts and manic for a while....	Calm Lady	9	485	Aug 12, 2016 by Calm Lady
	moving on (Preview) My emotions are all over the place. I get the keys for my apartment on Friday, but I keep thinking about alcoholic. How will he manage to pay the bills, the mortgage, other bills he has. I know its not my problem but I worry for him as he is not working currently. He is on unemployment insurance and I fear for...	joker	8	674	Aug 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Don't have it to give (Preview) Im a grateful member of Alanon and ive been thinking about that lesson on expectations and how they can be the root of our unhappiness. We feel disappointed and let down and take it personally when our alcoholic loved ones can't be what we expect them to be or give what we expect them to give. We build up e...	el-cee	12	730	Aug 12, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Blue Bunny (Preview) I don't know how y`alls HP likes to mess with you but here is an example of mine. I just went to the VA clinic and my MD told me after reviewing my blood work that my cholesterol was almost off the charts and he was putting me on Statin. I told him I was really into my addiction with sugar and my drug of choi...	Jerry F	5	431	Aug 11, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Today's awareness (Preview) After reading todays ODAT I felt it had a deep meaning and I couldn't just skim over it as I often do if im being honest. It is saying that in any situation we arent happy with we have to find the shortcomings within us that are keeping us trapped or imprisoned in it. Well thats my interpretation of what its s...	el-cee	4	470	Aug 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/11/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the importance of attending meetings in our Al-Anon program. Not only do we break the isolation many of us experience because of this disease, we usually hear something we need to hear and rarely leave a meeting feeling worse. Life is hard and difficult without the disea...	Iamhere	3	471	Aug 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Ooohhhh.... So that's what it's called (Preview) I'm coming to realize what 'codependent' truly means, and it resonates so much. I don't suffer with alcohol addiction, like so many of my family and friends (how crazy it all links together!)... But I have an addiction of my own. My mother and I both have always said that we're codependent on one anoth...	OptimisticPi	3	607	Aug 11, 2016 by gabigail
	1st time; my boyfriend is trying to quit drinking (Preview) Hello Everyone, I have a wonderful boyfriend. He takes such good care of me; leaves me sweet notes, supports me with any issues, makes me dinner, and always makes sure I know that I am loved. He wakes up at 5 am everyday, eats a healthy breakfast, goes to the gym for an hour before work, and an hour and a half...	Nikkosity	7	582	Aug 11, 2016 by OptimisticPi
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.