Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I have been separated for 7 months and my ex wants to 'get back together' without going to therapy or program. He comes by and helps cook and clean to see our son and frankly I am feeling so low I am accepting the help for now. My therapist says it is okay for now as we are not intimate. he want...

joker · joker

Well, its day three and abf is still sober. I had left for 5 days and got my own apartment. I am still staying at the house with him since my name is on title but I am still going, he is going to drink any time now that he is over his huge hangover. The pattern is he will and I keep thinking to myself, not your probl...

SueBr · SueBr

How do you set aside worry and regrets?

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

was thinking of waiting til boyfriend was back from his event so he could take me to doctor. BUT i realized, i can go by cab and so took myself to clinic. nothing more serious than a minor virus. I am independent !!! I took care of me. I know some of my pals will understand what that means.. a

123456abcdef · 123456abcdef

I have been working really hard lately at letting go and letting God. And it really has been wonderful. When I start feeling overwhelmed or I begin worrying, I remind myself that it is okay, God is in control and I choose my attitude. I will be okay. With that being said, I have been communicating and loo...

K78333 · K78333

I have finally had it. My daughter, 38 years old and living with my wife and I for 7 months, had come home again intoxicated, middle of the afternoon, despite the warnings and agreement that we had with her when she moved back in. My marriage is stressed because I had not stood by my word from the onset. She...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Oh my, I am delighted. Sat with AH watching TV. He has a glass of wine which he just knocked over. Old me would have lept up. Cleaned it all up. A lot went over his phone. I would have fussed about. Then when I had cleaned everywhere, I would have trotted off to refill his glass. Today, in my fabulous Al-anon m...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today speaks about the fact that we have choices. . The reading suggests that we do not have to react, but can stop, look into our heart determine what we want to do according to our principles then make a decision and act in our own best interest. The reading point out that many ti...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Oh dear, I notice a trait in myself I want to let go of. Yesterday i was in a large group of ladies. A lovely mix of people. Unfortunately I notice one of them seems to be attracted towards me. Feels like a test. As background, I used to swear a lot. A lot. As i recovered and let my rage go, I realised all the foul...

El · El

I have been praying all morning; tprying to hand over my worries to my HP, but I am still worrying and projecting. Today is my AH's birthday. We are going to a retirement party today at a friend's house. Last night A got into a little dispute with his brother in law and of course he/they will be there. My A h...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone- My A and I have been separated, but she's been in the hospital twice. Every time I go visit her, she treats me different than the nurses, her roommate, other visitors, even the people taking out her trash. With me its total disdain. Nit picking everything I'm doing, what I'm not doing but m...

Thinkngal · Thinkngal

I have often said that Alanon has given me my life back. Even so, my body has had autoimmune attacks due to stress. People in and out of the program know me as resilient and happy most of the time, and in most respects it's true. Yet my body reacts this way in those times when I feel my life is controlled by oth...

PatG1025 · PatG1025

I'm forgetful and can't remember if I posted something similar or not. I'm new to the board. I've been in Al-Anon for about 28 years. I'm a double winner as I am also in AA for 30 years (sobriety date 10/25/85). My husband got sober about 8 years after I did, and he had 20 years of sobriety when he passed aw...

joker · joker

I am still so excited, I have my own apartment. I went there today and dropped off my emergency stuff I had kept in the car in case I had to leave the house due to ABF drinking. I am still at the house with him but I know today, I can leave at anytime. I just need to take some things and go to my apartment. I feel suc...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I am going to visit my father who is 85 and dying of liver disease in a week with my 13 year old son who seems to like him. I am staying at a hotel and checking for al anon meetings in the area but cannot seem to find any! (Tarrytown New York). I am feeling extreme anxiety and it will not let up. I a...

hotrod · hotrod

The August 13 reading in the Courage to Change talks about placing people on a pedestal and thinking that they know all the answers and then becoming disappointed when they fail us and prove they are all too human. When they make a mistake or they fail we become devastated and confused The read...

clarabellx · clarabellx

my fiancé is a lovely guy I can tell how much he loves me and wants a life with me and my daughter, but his drinking has been a problem ever since we met. he's told loads of lies. lost jobs and lost his driving licence over it all but he still seems his drinking is normal and its just a guy thing. I've even had hi...

serenity47 · serenity47

Its been a difficult week. I have been visiting my AD and this is the first extended visit with her since sobriety 9 months ago. She has obligations during the day ( work, school) so I just do my own thing and have told her to just keep on with her routine of meetings etc as she wishes even though I am here. T...

joker · joker

Well, I did it. Today, I took possession of my apartment. I went and done the inspection and I can move in anytime. I came home yesterday, the alcoholic was in bad shape. He had not eaten in 5 days, weak, diarrhea and still drinking. The house looked like a bomb went off. The bathroom was beyond disgusted...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I heard from the attorney yesterday and what do you know we are almost done. LOL . this time true story. X has finally submitted his paperwork so we will be going forward and dealing with everything sooner than later. Now the question is did X actually read the agreement. He's not going to be a hap...

one heart · one heart

I am reaching out to gain knowledge and in time peace. Until recently my connection with addition was my father. I was young and most of what I remember is the broken promises and fighting with my mother. I dealt with it the only way I knew how and I am pleased to say my father has now been sober for over 36 yea...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about Step 3 - "Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood him." - and the profound peace that comes when we commit to this step in our program. The reading shares a story about a relative diagnosed with a brain tumor. The writer was suggesting...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Good morning family I am very grateful for my fabulous Al-anon program today. I made the mistake of eating a lot of sugary food yesterday afternoon. I normally eat very healthily. Well my ISM's went into overdrive! Around AH and the world in general. I lost the plot and went nuts and manic for a while....

joker · joker

My emotions are all over the place. I get the keys for my apartment on Friday, but I keep thinking about alcoholic. How will he manage to pay the bills, the mortgage, other bills he has. I know its not my problem but I worry for him as he is not working currently. He is on unemployment insurance and I fear for...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a grateful member of Alanon and ive been thinking about that lesson on expectations and how they can be the root of our unhappiness. We feel disappointed and let down and take it personally when our alcoholic loved ones can't be what we expect them to be or give what we expect them to give. We build up e...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I don't know how y`alls HP likes to mess with you but here is an example of mine. I just went to the VA clinic and my MD told me after reviewing my blood work that my cholesterol was almost off the charts and he was putting me on Statin. I told him I was really into my addiction with sugar and my drug of choi...

el-cee · el-cee

After reading todays ODAT I felt it had a deep meaning and I couldn't just skim over it as I often do if im being honest. It is saying that in any situation we arent happy with we have to find the shortcomings within us that are keeping us trapped or imprisoned in it. Well thats my interpretation of what its s...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the importance of attending meetings in our Al-Anon program. Not only do we break the isolation many of us experience because of this disease, we usually hear something we need to hear and rarely leave a meeting feeling worse. Life is hard and difficult without the disea...

OptimisticPi · OptimisticPi

I'm coming to realize what 'codependent' truly means, and it resonates so much. I don't suffer with alcohol addiction, like so many of my family and friends (how crazy it all links together!)... But I have an addiction of my own. My mother and I both have always said that we're codependent on one anoth...

Nikkosity · Nikkosity

Hello Everyone, I have a wonderful boyfriend. He takes such good care of me; leaves me sweet notes, supports me with any issues, makes me dinner, and always makes sure I know that I am loved. He wakes up at 5 am everyday, eats a healthy breakfast, goes to the gym for an hour before work, and an hour and a half...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Some say that our clutter desk is a sign of a cluttered mind. Others will say that a clean desk is a sign of sick mind. So which is it? What does my clutter say about my serenity? Perhaps, nothing at all...Todays reading in C2C reminds us that we all do things differently, but what is more important are the r...

a4l · a4l

I am a flake. I don't know when this happened exactly, maybe it doesn't matter, but I dislike it. A very dear friend who I haven't seen for seven years...who wrote me a song when I left our country, well she's having major brain surgery tomorrow morning and her daughter, who grew up with my first sons, is i...

andromeda · andromeda

Hello friends. I am just tired this week. Working extra hours as I've been home alone for the week as my son is traveling and the bf took his kids on a summer trip, as well. I am feeling overwhelmed with worry and fear about my financial situation. I have too much debt from credit cards and a car loan tha...

NteacherJ · NteacherJ

Hi, My girlfriend lives out of state. Well, we actually broke up yesterday and she is apparently drinking all day today. I have been in touch with her friend who has been in touch with her and she told her friend that she has been drinking and can't stop. Her friend was around when she had her first maj...

Rinn · Rinn

I haven't had contact with my alcoholic dad in 6 years or his family. I didn't meet them until I was in my 20's, then flew across the country to meet my aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins several times. I really miss my family. But my dad being the alcoholic, and me with a overworked defense mechani...

jocelgp · jocelgp

Yes, so I am living with two difficult persons. My Al-anon tools has really helped a lot, and the posts I read in this Group. Just a pouring of my heart: I do my best to detach, use the slogans but I guess I just have to live with the sad and lonely feeling. (((Hugs)) to everyone on this journey!

Greenvalleygal · Greenvalleygal

I think I have finally realized that I can no longer deal with my son who lives in our apartment next to our house. He is suppose to pay rent and utilities but has not held a job for more than a week or two in the last six months. I have allowed him to just give me the money for his utilities for the past two mont...

joker · joker

I still have not gone home to the alcoholic. I am staying with my sister and I have talked to the alcoholic and he was somewhat normal yesterday, sick as can be, from a hangover. I just talked briefly with him and hung up. This morning I called him and he was sick as can be. I told him he needs help and I can not d...

winnie1 · winnie1

Please excuse me. I am testing to see if I am registered correctly. Thank you, Winnie1

Overcome · Overcome

RobinKS, long time member here on the message board and in the chat room, lost her husband last Saturday in a boating accident.. I would like to ask for prayer for her and her family, at her request. Anyone that would like to send cards or such can pm me and I can give you an address for her.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about concept five, -'assuring that the voices of the minority be heard'. The writer goes on to say that the concept had particular importance since he/she suffered with low self esteem and general unworthiness at the hands of the disease. I think that for...

joker · joker

Its been awhile since I posted. I have been doing a lot of detachment from active alcoholic. I went on a holiday with him (wrong idea), for 3 weeks to go home to his hometown, 5 days drive away, across the country. It was hell. I managed to get away from him when it became unbearable. I even slept in my car one...

NSBlue · NSBlue

Hi My name is Melanie, I am a grateful member of Truro Al-Anon Family Group in Nova Scotia. I have been a member since April 5th of this year. I was thrilled when I seen this on-line message board; another recovery tool to work my program. I am blessed to have my local Al-Anon fellowship and now an on-line...

Jerry F · Jerry F

about your ESH because this is a cunning powerful and baffling disease and it will take most every opportunity to prove that too you. I got triggered...big time. It hurt and it got me again. I went to a meeting last evening with a sponsee and it was a speaker meeting though the speaker didn't show up....

jocelgp · jocelgp

hi everyone, it's been a while. Though I've not been posting, I still go and read posts from here. My husband has not been drinking, at least for a while (was that because I told him he could could seek help because I believe he has drinking problem and that he wants to prove that he's not), he denies he'...

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

Hi All, It as been a few months since my last post. I am still extremely physically ill - with no answers. I spend my days in bed, unless I am going from doctor to doctor, holistic practitioner to holistic practitioner. Emotionally, I did a good job of staying away (absolutely no contact) from ex-A fian...

emptysky · emptysky

Hi I'm new here and having a really difficult day. To sum it up I am the daughter of an alcoholic mother and the wife of a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for eight years. I have a major panic disorder, depression, PTSD and I am a grateful breast cancer survivor. I have been miserable and unhap...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everyone: There may be a few of you here that remember me, but I've seen quite a lot of new names and faces. I am a recovering co-dependent who was in a relationship with an A for several years, up until about 2 1/2 weeks ago. The A's father passed away after a sudden illness 3 weeks ago, and the family w...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 7 speaks about Steps 10, 11,12. The reading points out that many consider those maintenance Steps, but we don't want to maintain where we are when we complete step nine. This is no time to stagnate., Instead we should really consider these Step growth Steps. No matter how o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I just need some prayers .. LOL .. it is so good I have moved so far away. It is now apparent that the XAH's wife is into playing games as he is which is fine .. it's like these people don't get I'm not going away. The kids go back to school on the 22nd .. we have a lot to accomplish between now and then .. kids nee...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Good Morning. I back in program again after 10 years! UG!! I needed it. My father is now 85 and dying of liver disease (lifetime alcoholic) and I 'thought" that we had reached a peaceful place of forgiveness a few years back but in the recent year he has become abusive to me again. He lives in New york...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello my MIP Friends, i was wondering if anyone would be willing to share some esh on the first two to three years with a RAH. Mine is at the16 month mark this week and we are getting along wonderfully, however, I do find that we still have serious intimacy issues, Many are related to the medical issue he...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't know if I should be impressed with myself or scared as all get out. I have a very active schedule at the moment and the magic word seems to be no .. not no thank you .. just NO. LOL! The whole dating thing has been entertaining is putting it mildly .. I'm coming to a point where I feel like I need to take...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

Pinkchip's perspective on boundaries in another post was helpful to me. Makes sense that what we tolerate shows what our true boundaries are and also that what other people do or allow to happen is evidence of their boundaries. My boundary has been to leave the room when my A falls asleep after too ma...

Hopeful2112 · Hopeful2112

Hi, newbie here, been going to Alanon for three short months, long enough for the program to have changed my life, but not long enough for me to understand the difference between my defects and insanity and the reality. My parter is a sober member of AA, dry drunk for most of our relationship, controll...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c talks about step 6 and how daunting the prospect of change can be. Many of us find ourselves reluctant to let go of any more of ourselves for fear of "what will be left?" Yet if we consider how far we have come since beginning our journey, we can see how much willingness to change we alreay have....

gabigail · gabigail

I am so lost, confused, guilty, and other emotions I can't describe right now. As many of you know my spouse and I took a "break" this last week and I have been on a meeting marathon working on myself. I had been overwhelmed with the caregiving aspect and not taking care of me. So, now my spouse ended up in th...

lookingup · lookingup

Trying to move forward after all the drama and chaos of dealing with my addict sister isn't as easy as I thought it should be,feeling sad and greiveing the loss of a what use to be tons of years ago a very close sister,as painful as it may be I've got to pick myself up and forget the past so that I can move on......

Iamhere · Iamhere

The Courage to Change reading for today discusses resentments and how poisonous they are to our recovery. Before Al-Anon, many of us spent most of our waking hours poisoned by or obsessing over our resentments. We could hold on to them and keep them burning for day, for years or longer. Many of us nu...

Hopeful2112 · Hopeful2112

Hi everyone, I am so thankful for Alanon and have just recently discovered this program. I have moved from Melbourne to the country for work purposes and gone from one meeting a day ( two sometimes) to not having any meetings for weeks now! I kind of knew how much I had come to depend on meetings but now I R...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling Super Anxious and Confused about my Ex (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have been separated for 7 months and my ex wants to 'get back together' without going to therapy or program. He comes by and helps cook and clean to see our son and frankly I am feeling so low I am accepting the help for now. My therapist says it is okay for now as we are not intimate. he want...	Charlotte22	1	291	Aug 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	walking on egg shells (Preview) Well, its day three and abf is still sober. I had left for 5 days and got my own apartment. I am still staying at the house with him since my name is on title but I am still going, he is going to drink any time now that he is over his huge hangover. The pattern is he will and I keep thinking to myself, not your probl...	joker	4	395	Aug 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Stop the worry and regret (Preview) How do you set aside worry and regrets?	SueBr	2	380	Aug 14, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Proud of me (Preview) was thinking of waiting til boyfriend was back from his event so he could take me to doctor. BUT i realized, i can go by cab and so took myself to clinic. nothing more serious than a minor virus. I am independent !!! I took care of me. I know some of my pals will understand what that means.. a	YARNCRAZY	2	218	Aug 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Overthinking with my Higher Power (Preview) I have been working really hard lately at letting go and letting God. And it really has been wonderful. When I start feeling overwhelmed or I begin worrying, I remind myself that it is okay, God is in control and I choose my attitude. I will be okay. With that being said, I have been communicating and loo...	123456abcdef	5	487	Aug 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Numb! (Preview) I have finally had it. My daughter, 38 years old and living with my wife and I for 7 months, had come home again intoxicated, middle of the afternoon, despite the warnings and agreement that we had with her when she moved back in. My marriage is stressed because I had not stood by my word from the onset. She...	K78333	2	291	Aug 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sharing progress (Preview) Oh my, I am delighted. Sat with AH watching TV. He has a glass of wine which he just knocked over. Old me would have lept up. Cleaned it all up. A lot went over his phone. I would have fussed about. Then when I had cleaned everywhere, I would have trotted off to refill his glass. Today, in my fabulous Al-anon m...	Calm Lady	15	486	Aug 14, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Courage to Change Reading 8-14-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for today speaks about the fact that we have choices. . The reading suggests that we do not have to react, but can stop, look into our heart determine what we want to do according to our principles then make a decision and act in our own best interest. The reading point out that many ti...	hotrod	4	479	Aug 14, 2016 by Lyne
	Reinforcing (Preview) Oh dear, I notice a trait in myself I want to let go of. Yesterday i was in a large group of ladies. A lovely mix of people. Unfortunately I notice one of them seems to be attracted towards me. Feels like a test. As background, I used to swear a lot. A lot. As i recovered and let my rage go, I realised all the foul...	Calm Lady	5	396	Aug 14, 2016 by hotrod
	Trying not to project. (Preview) I have been praying all morning; tprying to hand over my worries to my HP, but I am still worrying and projecting. Today is my AH's birthday. We are going to a retirement party today at a friend's house. Last night A got into a little dispute with his brother in law and of course he/they will be there. My A h...	El	6	424	Aug 14, 2016 by Doingmybest
	Maybe I'm taking it personally; maybe she really hates me (Preview) Hi everyone- My A and I have been separated, but she's been in the hospital twice. Every time I go visit her, she treats me different than the nurses, her roommate, other visitors, even the people taking out her trash. With me its total disdain. Nit picking everything I'm doing, what I'm not doing but m...	gabigail	9	746	Aug 13, 2016 by gabigail
	Control (Preview) I have often said that Alanon has given me my life back. Even so, my body has had autoimmune attacks due to stress. People in and out of the program know me as resilient and happy most of the time, and in most respects it's true. Yet my body reacts this way in those times when I feel my life is controlled by oth...	Thinkngal	12	629	Aug 13, 2016 by NSBlue
	New to Board (Preview) I'm forgetful and can't remember if I posted something similar or not. I'm new to the board. I've been in Al-Anon for about 28 years. I'm a double winner as I am also in AA for 30 years (sobriety date 10/25/85). My husband got sober about 8 years after I did, and he had 20 years of sobriety when he passed aw...	PatG1025	6	315	Aug 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Relief (Preview) I am still so excited, I have my own apartment. I went there today and dropped off my emergency stuff I had kept in the car in case I had to leave the house due to ABF drinking. I am still at the house with him but I know today, I can leave at anytime. I just need to take some things and go to my apartment. I feel suc...	joker	4	318	Aug 13, 2016 by Thinkngal
	feeling EXTREME ANXIETY going to visit rageful elderly alcoholic father..need Al Anon HELP and PRAYERS!! (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am going to visit my father who is 85 and dying of liver disease in a week with my 13 year old son who seems to like him. I am staying at a hotel and checking for al anon meetings in the area but cannot seem to find any! (Tarrytown New York). I am feeling extreme anxiety and it will not let up. I a...	Charlotte22	7	426	Aug 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C Reading 8-13-2016 (Preview) The August 13 reading in the Courage to Change talks about placing people on a pedestal and thinking that they know all the answers and then becoming disappointed when they fail us and prove they are all too human. When they make a mistake or they fail we become devastated and confused The read...	hotrod	3	387	Aug 13, 2016 by PatG1025
	i need help moving on from my fiance who i adore but has a drinking problem (Preview) my fiancé is a lovely guy I can tell how much he loves me and wants a life with me and my daughter, but his drinking has been a problem ever since we met. he's told loads of lies. lost jobs and lost his driving licence over it all but he still seems his drinking is normal and its just a guy thing. I've even had hi...	clarabellx	7	403	Aug 13, 2016 by clarabellx
	taking it personally/expectations (Preview) Its been a difficult week. I have been visiting my AD and this is the first extended visit with her since sobriety 9 months ago. She has obligations during the day ( work, school) so I just do my own thing and have told her to just keep on with her routine of meetings etc as she wishes even though I am here. T...	serenity47	4	449	Aug 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Got the apartment (Preview) Well, I did it. Today, I took possession of my apartment. I went and done the inspection and I can move in anytime. I came home yesterday, the alcoholic was in bad shape. He had not eaten in 5 days, weak, diarrhea and still drinking. The house looked like a bomb went off. The bathroom was beyond disgusted...	joker	3	352	Aug 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Attorney News (Preview) So I heard from the attorney yesterday and what do you know we are almost done. LOL . this time true story. X has finally submitted his paperwork so we will be going forward and dealing with everything sooner than later. Now the question is did X actually read the agreement. He's not going to be a hap...	SerenityRUS	2	325	Aug 12, 2016 by OceanTide
	New & Clueless But Hopeful (Preview) I am reaching out to gain knowledge and in time peace. Until recently my connection with addition was my father. I was young and most of what I remember is the broken promises and fighting with my mother. I dealt with it the only way I knew how and I am pleased to say my father has now been sober for over 36 yea...	one heart	2	360	Aug 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/12/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about Step 3 - "Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood him." - and the profound peace that comes when we commit to this step in our program. The reading shares a story about a relative diagnosed with a brain tumor. The writer was suggesting...	Iamhere	8	394	Aug 12, 2016 by PatG1025
	Overdrive! (Preview) Good morning family I am very grateful for my fabulous Al-anon program today. I made the mistake of eating a lot of sugary food yesterday afternoon. I normally eat very healthily. Well my ISM's went into overdrive! Around AH and the world in general. I lost the plot and went nuts and manic for a while....	Calm Lady	9	410	Aug 12, 2016 by Calm Lady
	moving on (Preview) My emotions are all over the place. I get the keys for my apartment on Friday, but I keep thinking about alcoholic. How will he manage to pay the bills, the mortgage, other bills he has. I know its not my problem but I worry for him as he is not working currently. He is on unemployment insurance and I fear for...	joker	8	583	Aug 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Don't have it to give (Preview) Im a grateful member of Alanon and ive been thinking about that lesson on expectations and how they can be the root of our unhappiness. We feel disappointed and let down and take it personally when our alcoholic loved ones can't be what we expect them to be or give what we expect them to give. We build up e...	el-cee	12	643	Aug 12, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Blue Bunny (Preview) I don't know how y`alls HP likes to mess with you but here is an example of mine. I just went to the VA clinic and my MD told me after reviewing my blood work that my cholesterol was almost off the charts and he was putting me on Statin. I told him I was really into my addiction with sugar and my drug of choi...	Jerry F	5	351	Aug 11, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Today's awareness (Preview) After reading todays ODAT I felt it had a deep meaning and I couldn't just skim over it as I often do if im being honest. It is saying that in any situation we arent happy with we have to find the shortcomings within us that are keeping us trapped or imprisoned in it. Well thats my interpretation of what its s...	el-cee	4	375	Aug 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/11/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the importance of attending meetings in our Al-Anon program. Not only do we break the isolation many of us experience because of this disease, we usually hear something we need to hear and rarely leave a meeting feeling worse. Life is hard and difficult without the disea...	Iamhere	3	381	Aug 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Ooohhhh.... So that's what it's called (Preview) I'm coming to realize what 'codependent' truly means, and it resonates so much. I don't suffer with alcohol addiction, like so many of my family and friends (how crazy it all links together!)... But I have an addiction of my own. My mother and I both have always said that we're codependent on one anoth...	OptimisticPi	3	503	Aug 11, 2016 by gabigail
	1st time; my boyfriend is trying to quit drinking (Preview) Hello Everyone, I have a wonderful boyfriend. He takes such good care of me; leaves me sweet notes, supports me with any issues, makes me dinner, and always makes sure I know that I am loved. He wakes up at 5 am everyday, eats a healthy breakfast, goes to the gym for an hour before work, and an hour and a half...	Nikkosity	7	486	Aug 11, 2016 by OptimisticPi
	C2C 8/10 What Does Our Clutter Say About Us? (Preview) Some say that our clutter desk is a sign of a cluttered mind. Others will say that a clean desk is a sign of sick mind. So which is it? What does my clutter say about my serenity? Perhaps, nothing at all...Todays reading in C2C reminds us that we all do things differently, but what is more important are the r...	Enigmatic	8	402	Aug 10, 2016 by Enigmatic
	bad friend. (Preview) I am a flake. I don't know when this happened exactly, maybe it doesn't matter, but I dislike it. A very dear friend who I haven't seen for seven years...who wrote me a song when I left our country, well she's having major brain surgery tomorrow morning and her daughter, who grew up with my first sons, is i...	a4l	5	309	Aug 10, 2016 by el-cee
	Overwhelmed, overworked, and just plain tired (Preview) Hello friends. I am just tired this week. Working extra hours as I've been home alone for the week as my son is traveling and the bf took his kids on a summer trip, as well. I am feeling overwhelmed with worry and fear about my financial situation. I have too much debt from credit cards and a car loan tha...	andromeda	25	1029	Aug 10, 2016 by andromeda
	emergency question (Preview) Hi, My girlfriend lives out of state. Well, we actually broke up yesterday and she is apparently drinking all day today. I have been in touch with her friend who has been in touch with her and she told her friend that she has been drinking and can't stop. Her friend was around when she had her first maj...	NteacherJ	6	488	Aug 10, 2016 by Jen61
	Hit me with some ALANON magic... (Preview) I haven't had contact with my alcoholic dad in 6 years or his family. I didn't meet them until I was in my 20's, then flew across the country to meet my aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins several times. I really miss my family. But my dad being the alcoholic, and me with a overworked defense mechani...	Rinn	8	688	Aug 9, 2016 by Jen61
	living with AH and a controlling mom (Preview) Yes, so I am living with two difficult persons. My Al-anon tools has really helped a lot, and the posts I read in this Group. Just a pouring of my heart: I do my best to detach, use the slogans but I guess I just have to live with the sad and lonely feeling. (((Hugs)) to everyone on this journey!	jocelgp	2	362	Aug 9, 2016 by jocelgp
	Verbally abusive Adult A son (Preview) I think I have finally realized that I can no longer deal with my son who lives in our apartment next to our house. He is suppose to pay rent and utilities but has not held a job for more than a week or two in the last six months. I have allowed him to just give me the money for his utilities for the past two mont...	Greenvalleygal	10	3089	Aug 9, 2016 by hotrod
	I did it (Preview) I still have not gone home to the alcoholic. I am staying with my sister and I have talked to the alcoholic and he was somewhat normal yesterday, sick as can be, from a hangover. I just talked briefly with him and hung up. This morning I called him and he was sick as can be. I told him he needs help and I can not d...	joker	5	440	Aug 9, 2016 by Mattie
	test (Preview) Please excuse me. I am testing to see if I am registered correctly. Thank you, Winnie1	winnie1	4	487	Aug 9, 2016 by milkwood
	Prayers for RobinKS (Preview) RobinKS, long time member here on the message board and in the chat room, lost her husband last Saturday in a boating accident.. I would like to ask for prayer for her and her family, at her request. Anyone that would like to send cards or such can pm me and I can give you an address for her.	Overcome	17	643	Aug 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Aug 9 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about concept five, -'assuring that the voices of the minority be heard'. The writer goes on to say that the concept had particular importance since he/she suffered with low self esteem and general unworthiness at the hands of the disease. I think that for...	yanksfan51	2	410	Aug 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	a getting worse (Preview) Its been awhile since I posted. I have been doing a lot of detachment from active alcoholic. I went on a holiday with him (wrong idea), for 3 weeks to go home to his hometown, 5 days drive away, across the country. It was hell. I managed to get away from him when it became unbearable. I even slept in my car one...	joker	8	469	Aug 9, 2016 by Thinkngal
	Hello, My name is Melanie (Preview) Hi My name is Melanie, I am a grateful member of Truro Al-Anon Family Group in Nova Scotia. I have been a member since April 5th of this year. I was thrilled when I seen this on-line message board; another recovery tool to work my program. I am blessed to have my local Al-Anon fellowship and now an on-line...	NSBlue	12	2690	Aug 9, 2016 by Jerry F
	Be careful what and how you share (Preview) about your ESH because this is a cunning powerful and baffling disease and it will take most every opportunity to prove that too you. I got triggered...big time. It hurt and it got me again. I went to a meeting last evening with a sponsee and it was a speaker meeting though the speaker didn't show up....	Jerry F	8	629	Aug 9, 2016 by Jerry F
	detached, still denying, couldn't love, lonely (Preview) hi everyone, it's been a while. Though I've not been posting, I still go and read posts from here. My husband has not been drinking, at least for a while (was that because I told him he could could seek help because I believe he has drinking problem and that he wants to prove that he's not), he denies he'...	jocelgp	6	494	Aug 8, 2016 by Bethany66
	Trying Not to Give Up (Preview) Hi All, It as been a few months since my last post. I am still extremely physically ill - with no answers. I spend my days in bed, unless I am going from doctor to doctor, holistic practitioner to holistic practitioner. Emotionally, I did a good job of staying away (absolutely no contact) from ex-A fian...	Jaclyn	35	1373	Aug 8, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Miserable (Preview) Hi I'm new here and having a really difficult day. To sum it up I am the daughter of an alcoholic mother and the wife of a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for eight years. I have a major panic disorder, depression, PTSD and I am a grateful breast cancer survivor. I have been miserable and unhap...	emptysky	12	482	Aug 8, 2016 by Mirandac
	A bitter emptiness (Preview) Hello everyone: There may be a few of you here that remember me, but I've seen quite a lot of new names and faces. I am a recovering co-dependent who was in a relationship with an A for several years, up until about 2 1/2 weeks ago. The A's father passed away after a sudden illness 3 weeks ago, and the family w...	Raven Juniper	10	580	Aug 8, 2016 by Jen61
	Courage to Change 8-7-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 7 speaks about Steps 10, 11,12. The reading points out that many consider those maintenance Steps, but we don't want to maintain where we are when we complete step nine. This is no time to stagnate., Instead we should really consider these Step growth Steps. No matter how o...	hotrod	3	434	Aug 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Trying to keep my sense of humor at the moment (Preview) I just need some prayers .. LOL .. it is so good I have moved so far away. It is now apparent that the XAH's wife is into playing games as he is which is fine .. it's like these people don't get I'm not going away. The kids go back to school on the 22nd .. we have a lot to accomplish between now and then .. kids nee...	SerenityRUS	4	319	Aug 7, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Confused about Self Protection from Rageful Alcoholic Father and How to Forgive From a Distance? (Preview) Good Morning. I back in program again after 10 years! UG!! I needed it. My father is now 85 and dying of liver disease (lifetime alcoholic) and I 'thought" that we had reached a peaceful place of forgiveness a few years back but in the recent year he has become abusive to me again. He lives in New york...	Charlotte22	4	489	Aug 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Question for those who stayed and AH is/was in recovery (or double winners) (Preview) Hello my MIP Friends, i was wondering if anyone would be willing to share some esh on the first two to three years with a RAH. Mine is at the16 month mark this week and we are getting along wonderfully, however, I do find that we still have serious intimacy issues, Many are related to the medical issue he...	Doingmybest	6	477	Aug 7, 2016 by knit2thepoint
	Things I have learned while dating .. (Preview) I don't know if I should be impressed with myself or scared as all get out. I have a very active schedule at the moment and the magic word seems to be no .. not no thank you .. just NO. LOL! The whole dating thing has been entertaining is putting it mildly .. I'm coming to a point where I feel like I need to take...	SerenityRUS	14	714	Aug 7, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Perspective needed (Preview) Pinkchip's perspective on boundaries in another post was helpful to me. Makes sense that what we tolerate shows what our true boundaries are and also that what other people do or allow to happen is evidence of their boundaries. My boundary has been to leave the room when my A falls asleep after too ma...	Mcat54	4	393	Aug 7, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Relationships, what's real &I what my illness?? (Preview) Hi, newbie here, been going to Alanon for three short months, long enough for the program to have changed my life, but not long enough for me to understand the difference between my defects and insanity and the reality. My parter is a sober member of AA, dry drunk for most of our relationship, controll...	Hopeful2112	4	483	Aug 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to change 8/8 (Preview) Today's c2c talks about step 6 and how daunting the prospect of change can be. Many of us find ourselves reluctant to let go of any more of ourselves for fear of "what will be left?" Yet if we consider how far we have come since beginning our journey, we can see how much willingness to change we alreay have....	missmeliss	1	450	Aug 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Caregiving for sick and sober (Preview) I am so lost, confused, guilty, and other emotions I can't describe right now. As many of you know my spouse and I took a "break" this last week and I have been on a meeting marathon working on myself. I had been overwhelmed with the caregiving aspect and not taking care of me. So, now my spouse ended up in th...	gabigail	10	511	Aug 6, 2016 by missmeliss
	Going forward (Preview) Trying to move forward after all the drama and chaos of dealing with my addict sister isn't as easy as I thought it should be,feeling sad and greiveing the loss of a what use to be tons of years ago a very close sister,as painful as it may be I've got to pick myself up and forget the past so that I can move on......	lookingup	3	356	Aug 6, 2016 by lookingup
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/5/16 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for today discusses resentments and how poisonous they are to our recovery. Before Al-Anon, many of us spent most of our waking hours poisoned by or obsessing over our resentments. We could hold on to them and keep them burning for day, for years or longer. Many of us nu...	Iamhere	6	401	Aug 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hey all! New and grateful (Preview) Hi everyone, I am so thankful for Alanon and have just recently discovered this program. I have moved from Melbourne to the country for work purposes and gone from one meeting a day ( two sometimes) to not having any meetings for weeks now! I kind of knew how much I had come to depend on meetings but now I R...	Hopeful2112	7	437	Aug 6, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.