The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my fiancé is a lovely guy I can tell how much he loves me and wants a life with me and my daughter, but his drinking has been a problem ever since we met. he's told loads of lies. lost jobs and lost his driving licence over it all but he still seems his drinking is normal and its just a guy thing. I've even had him admit he has a problem and has come to me for help asking me to go to an AA class with him but was all just to get back with me after breaking up with him. recently we went on a family holiday which I kind of new he would be drinking quite a lot but he was getting himself in terrible states falling asleep outside, walking home from dangerous places by himself. on the last day I was glad to leave due to the stress of the holiday but when the transfer came to pick us up he was no where to be seen ( he had been drinking at the hotel before we were meant to leave). I was searching for him for over an hour before someone I was speaking to over the holiday said he was avoiding me! I was livid/upset so I had to take off on a flight without him with my 6 year old daughter who was confused why he wasn't returning home with us. he then woke up in the morning with not enough money for a flight home and nowhere to stay and had to reach out to other family members to help him out and was told he was upset and crying about his actions but he always is for a few days at the most. I sent him angry texts messages and then blocked him from everything I knew then I had to let him go as he was never going to change. I find it hard because apart from his drinking issues he as a great guy and loving to my daughter who's not his but treats her like his own. I just need some guidance how to let go of him and not return back! please help!
Hi clarabell, so glad you are reaching out. The comfort, guidance and strength that I have found in the walls and pages of AlAnon have been incredible and unmatched, and I believe you will find them to be the same for you.
AlAnon helped me accept that the effects of alcohol were not things that I could overcome on my own, and guided me to resources and realizations that allowed me to find my way back to sanity.
Whatever it takes, please find your way to an AlAnon meeting and seek out the guidance from any of the books published by the AlAnon Family Group...and keep coming back here, you are always welcome
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Hello and welcome As you have discovered, alcoholism is a dreadful disease . It is chronic, and progressive and affects the entire family. Since we are powerless over the disease, we too develop negative comping tools to survive the insanity. As LC suggested alanon face ot face meetingss will help provide you with a place to break the isolation caused by living with the disease and to learn new tools to live by.
Hi clarabell, so glad you are reaching out. The comfort, guidance and strength that I have found in the walls and pages of AlAnon have been incredible and unmatched, and I believe you will find them to be the same for you.
AlAnon helped me accept that the effects of alcohol were not things that I could overcome on my own, and guided me to resources and realizations that allowed me to find my way back to sanity.
Whatever it takes, please find your way to an AlAnon meeting and seek out the guidance from any of the books published by the AlAnon Family Group...and keep coming back here, you are always welcome
thanks for your lovely comment I feel very welcome here and I will continue to come back for help
Welcome to MIP - so glad you found us and glad that you joined in! All above me have given thoughts that will help you better deal/heal from the affects of the disease. There is help and hope - keep coming back and know that you are not alone!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hello and welcome As you have discovered, alcoholism is a dreadful disease . It is chronic, and progressive and affects the entire family. Since we are powerless over the disease, we too develop negative comping tools to survive the insanity. As LC suggested alanon face ot face meetingss will help provide you with a place to break the isolation caused by living with the disease and to learn new tools to live by.
Keep coming back.
thankyou hotrod for your comforting comment I will try and find myself a meeting to help me get through this painful time
