The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Some say that our clutter desk is a sign of a cluttered mind. Others will say that a clean desk is a sign of sick mind. So which is it? What does my clutter say about my serenity? Perhaps, nothing at all...
Todays reading in C2C reminds us that we all do things differently, but what is more important are the reasons behind our behavior. Our motives and perspectives behind our actions are the true determinants of our peace and serenity.
The why behind my clean or messy is what AlAnon continues to help me explore, while highlighting the peace that comes from refraining from trying to determine the why of others.
I am qualified to evaluate only my own whys to see if I can better align them with healthier, AlAnon principles. I am so grateful for the program as it reminds me to try new perspectives from which to evaluate my old habits and behavior. Now, about my messy desk...
-- Edited by Enigmatic on Wednesday 10th of August 2016 06:47:30 AM
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Hi Paul Thanks for sharing your thoughts on today's important reading. Keeping the focus on myself and determining why I do what I do and say what I say, is a powerful tool in accepting the negative tools that I have developed as the result of living with this disease.
i always tried to put the focus on others to determine why they acted as they did (in order to fix them and control a situation). This is a huge change for me. Alanon suggesting that since i am powerless over others, placing the focus on myself in order to see what I do to hurt myself is much more productive.
I too focused on others before the program. In my own distorted view, if others would do what I wanted them to do or act like I thought they should, life would be grand! Well - that is just not how it works!
Learning in Al-Anon to keep the focus on me, and the peel back a layer of me to see what may lay beneath has been difficult at times, but so rewarding. I have learned that I am imperfect, and that's OK. I have learned others are imperfect, and that too is OK. Lastly I have learned that my expectations are rarely aligned with another person's and rarely line up with reality.
I am grateful that the more I work on me and becoming a better version of me, the more peace I have in my heart and life. The gifts the program provides for us are never-ending so long as we remain open to doing what is suggested.
Thank you Paul for your service, the daily and your ESH!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I have to continually work at this. We are moving now, and I've brought so much "stuff" to the charity donation drop-off center that the worker came out to meet me and gave me a hug. So much stuff.
Traveling light. Practice repeatedly.
The view is more clear. Let me remember. Let me internalze this. I like IAM's idea of peeling back to see what I've hidden. As always, I'm grateful for all of you.
I like this, clutter says a lot or not about us. Im not sure what it says. I can go from enjoying easy going type clutter and believing it to be okay to getting panicked about things neading to be sorted and tidied and organised. It must be closely linked with my thinking and where my heads at at any given moment. thanks for the post.
I felt great relief when I learnt from our program that I am only responsible for myself. Such a heavy weight lifted. Thank God.
As my recovery moves forward, I feel the need to get rid of more and more clutter from my home. I don't need STUFF all around me. I need peace, quiet and space.
Bit of humor here..new guy's problem is being what i call a dusty but safe hoarder lol. I have been toeing the line between trying to help but not fix but line i super thin lol. he keeps giving me things, i cant store. However he gives ALOT TO VARIOUS CHARITIES SINCE IVE COME INTO PICTURE. I try not to judge and my Alanon teaching is constantly put into play. He wants to sell house so am doing it in view of a future home for me.
Clutter is a helpful analogy for a number of program related areas, but I was thinking about how easy it is for me to slip into overestimating my knowledge of a person or situation based on appearance. Or times when I presented myself well but was collapsing under the weight of my own misguided efforts.
Keeping the focus on myself and reducing the judging of others increased my felt peace incredibly. The program works when I work it
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
