Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Fooled · Fooled

I am not sure what it was today that kept pushing me off kilter but there was something. Nothing really concrete but a state of restless anxiety slowly burning under the surface all day. I really found myself fed up, ready to give up, hopeless, tired and weak. Like the armor I have been putting on is...

Confused16 · Confused16

My ABF has been struggling with addiction since he was a kid. We come from VERY DIFFERENT backgrounds. So needless to say, it was hard for us to understand each others way of living. My ABF struggles a lot with boundaries. He would use the excuse of seeing his kids to disappear for days on end. He would end...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 4 speaks about making choices. The reading points out that many times, before program we made our choices strictly on the basis of our feelings as if feelings were facts. If we were frightened about taking certain action then we avoided it, there was no middle ground and no...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm really struggling with old behaviors .. mine .. LOL. Being new into a relationship for the first time in 5 years and then dealing with the fact I'm dealing with another co-dependent which there is nothing like two codies in a relationship together .. LOL. I have to keep really strong boundaries a...

DeeS · DeeS

Thank you for this group. My mother was an alcoholic. Now my son. He is 28 years old, very bright, and the world was his for the asking. He has been a slow downward spiral for years looking back but we just didn't see it. He was in Korea when his father died and that triggered an event with Adderall. He r...

El · El

I think the program is starting to sink in! I am noticing some subtle shifts in my thoughts and behaviors. I haven't made any big proclamations to myself, but my attitude is changing. AH is away this weekend hunting. Normally, I would think that he just wants to get away to drink freely. Now, while tha...

Aerin · Aerin

ABF has been in AA for almost 90 days. He has had only 2 obvious relapses during that time and only missed only 1 meeting. (that I know of) Thats pretty good I think. However yesterday I came over and could smell just a liitle beer on him and he was acting a teeny bit off (nothing like drinking days) but I coul...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

I am really feeling sorry for myself right now. All my pent up anger has turned me into an asshole over the years...i just masked it as being 'authentic'....this is no longer a one off...this is a pattern I exhibit and it was only a matter of time before I could no longer get away with it.....i'm the common...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I haven't been here for a while. I have been going to the face to face meeting and reading all the materials. I have also been practicing the 12 steps. I noticed something, does the addicted person's behavior get worse when the family practices the 12 steps? I have been re reading the new comers packe...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

It's been about four months. It's 1am and I woke up because I heard husband making weird noises in the living room. He was asleep but I knew immediately something was up. Sure enough when I "woke" him he wasn't speaking English and couldn't look straight. He's not in active recovery, but I finally am. I...

Kristy66 · Kristy66

Ok, so I have never gone to a meeting. My spouse (boyfriend of 13 years) has started showing signs of binge drinking - maybe it's been happening longer than I want to admit. We have been on the roller coaster as some describe it - things are great throughout the week, and then on Friday night, he says he's g...

KT2015 · KT2015

My AH seems to find ways to take Fridays off or at least come home early on Fridays. I won't even go down the road of what a bad idea that is related to his work because it's not my problem it is his and shockingly it doesn't seem to cause him problems. But it causes me problems. He tries to refrain...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C asks "what is meditation?" It suggests that the answer for us is to interpret in our own ways, but drawing on other member's experiences can help us to find what works for us. It suggests various interpretations such as seeking the spiritual purpose to our actions, concentrating on breat...

JosieP · JosieP

lo everyone, I am new to this group and have already taken comfort from reading your messages. My husband and I have now separated because he is an alcoholic. I am incredibly sad about this and struggling to come to terms with it because I love him but I had to end it for a number of reasons but mainly becaus...

Fooled · Fooled

For the last month or so my daughter has been the bane of my existence. I have finally have achieved happiness, and a somewhat sense of peace and serenity and I swear to all that is holy that if I thought she could be, she is doing it on purpose. Every single day she manages to push my buttons and test t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses the concept of recovery - "Let it Begin With Me". The reading suggests it's easy for us to sit and itemize the defects of our qualifier/others. We can spend hours thinking of the ways others should/could change! Yet, not one time has this mental criticism improved anythi...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I kept hearing talk of "Gaslighting" and then someone referenced the movie, so I went to the library and got it on DVD to watch. My AH was passed out, so I had uninterrupted time. Now I totally understand the use of that term. And last night, I saw it in action. I went out to dinner with 5 very good women...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about 'all that is Al-Anon'.....what this means is we arrive, and no matter how defeated, broken, crazy or other we are - we are invited back. Many of us are grateful for this love and acceptance, no matter our condition when we arrive. For many, Al-Anon is the last hope. The dis...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

How do we perceive ourselves and how accurate is that perception to others? Is our perception of ourselves always the same as how others perceive us? The alcoholic doesn't think they have a problem, but we all know they do...as far as they're concerned they are one thing, we see them as something comp...

MissM · MissM

What a weekend. Daughter and I went to volunteer at a very large music festival that happens in a town about 40 minutes from home. The idea is, you work for 10 hours and in return they give you an all-access pass for the entire 3 day event. Daughter wasn't required to volunteer in the end because she is too y...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I'm not really surprised as i once would have been earlier in my recovery but i think a part of me will always be a little baffled in the presence of the disease of addiction .. these past couple weeks i received many calls from my ex addict .. this happens when his life slows .. maybe a comedown moment .. not...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My qualifier tended to phone me after drinking in the evenings. After those calls I had trouble sleeping. I decided I could take control of getting healthy sleep if I turned my ringers off on my phone at 8 pm. It took about a year, but my A finally accepted the phone wouldn't be answered (though she still s...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading challenges us to consider every person we encounter as a teacher who offers us a very important lesson to learn...every person, even the ones whose company we struggle to endure. We may witness positive qualities we can adopt, negative traits that remind us of something we are worki...

lgnutah · lgnutah

A few years back I bought a strip of plaid fabric that had just the word "THANKFUL" stitched onto it in large capital letters. I hang it on my front door every November but I love lookjng at it so much I almost hate to take it down when it's time to put up my Christmas wreath.

jocelgp · jocelgp

I asked my husband to leave because I don't deserve to be treated so badly: aiming fist at me and calling me names and demeaning my being a person. I don't know if he drank last friday but he came home later than usual. He keeps on saying bad words while sleeping friday night. Saturday was quiet, I tried...

MissM · MissM

It's been a rough semester. I live approx 2 hours from my university and this semester I was meant to do a lot of contact hours. I negotiated with my child, 2 days a week she would go to the school library at 7:30am (when the staff come on duty) so I could get to school late for an 8am class. We had a deal. When it...

Miss A · Miss A

I'm starting to work on healing my Inner Child, and I was wondering how some of you have done it? I've been struggling with doing this for years and it's holding me back from having a happy and healthy life. I'm nearly 23 and I want to start living. The thing is I don't know how.

TessaB · TessaB

Something I have really been struggling with lately is feeling like I need for my son(adult son) to admit he has been using when he stops by.It's obvious to me that he's high,I already know he is,yet I still call him out on it,even though I already know he's going to deny it. I am causing arguments with him...

John · John

Asking for prayer and help!I have not been interacting on the boards for a good while because of internal and external hardships I am so overwhelmed with and that has reduced my ability to shoot positive energy, inspiration, and hope into the Universe for the benefit of others, when I am so stuck in the...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

I was lucky to have met my AH when he was sober. We had many wonderful years together. Then alcohol came back into his life and my world became explosive. Most of the time the disease has control of him, but sometimes there's little moments when I get a glimpse of the man I used to know. As time goes by those l...

lookingup · lookingup

Spent thanksgiving with my aging father,not in good health ,I and him discussed on what to do with his son age 42 my baby brother after father passes,his huge concern, a/b is disabled physically and mentally ,due to lifetime of alcohol and drug use, ab has always lived with my father,always been depen...

TessaB · TessaB

Hello. I used to be active in Alanon years ago but then,I don't know,I guess I thought I didn't need to work the program anymore.A few days ago,though,I had a total meltdown,ranting and raving at my addicted adult son.After he left,I ranted and raved at my husband,and I got so upset and out of control I k...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

Ugh. I swear these mood swings, daily physical ailments and just general anger and unavailability is almost harder than it was when he was actively using. Just needed to that off my chest to people that understand.

vvv · vvv

ive read quite a few books as well as writing on here...what exactly is detachmen? The way I see it is that you can still love someone and support, but not run to their aide. I've been working very hard on this and it's even harder because I do not think active alcoholics understand, which makes it even har...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning all- Today's reading is about our slogan 'live and let live'. It seems I cannot have enough reminders about staying in my own business and out of everyone else's! The writer describes a childhood w an active A father, but who felt resentment and anger toward mother for her role in it and he...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi my name is Jim and I'm a grateful member of al-anon. It's been awhile. I'm glad I thought of the fellowship recently. I havn't been to a meeting in months....posted here in maybe a year... I felt it was time for me to grow in a different direction in different areas of my life. It was time to break away fro...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, The Alanon board is by far the biggest board in the MIP clubhouse. I belong to another group as well, "across the corridor". While in the USA I went to meetings in towns like Sarasota, Rapid City, Atlanta, Lower Manhattan, and Mill Valley Ca. Many places have a clubhouse, started by AA....

_bunny_ · _bunny_

Happy Sunday! I would like to know if anyone has known their A to be above the legal limit and driving. Did you practice loving detachment? Did you call the authorities? Please share your experiences.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Had a lovely thanksgiving with my boyfriends family. They live about 1 1/2 hours away from here this was the first car trip of that length with the kids .. I wondered how we would all do in a confined space .. LOL. It was a blast! We would be fine .. my poor boyfriend would run for the hills. The kids are re...

Lou Lou · Lou Lou

I'm new to this and need help. Where do I start? Meetings? what to expect. Please help me.

hotrod · hotrod

STEP 7 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. PLEASE JOIN IN AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS. earn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! http://stepwork.activeboard...

joker · joker

Listen to an al-anon speaker on u-tube and heard this-WAIT-meaning why am I talking...and WASTE-Why am I still talking... I had to share this..it made me think and go mmm.

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

One saying in AlAnon is that 'No situation is hopeless.' Our reading notes that hope and despair describe only our feelings about a situation, not the situation or our life itself. This is an important distinction, because the only thing separating a hopeless feeling from a hopeful feeling is belie...

madowl86 · madowl86

So, I know an alcoholic is an addict. An addict is an addict. But, I've come to learn my A is not just an alcoholic, but also likes pills. He will tell me he's going to get weed, but I have suspicions that it's more than that. I have found text messages about pills, Facebook messages, and most recently he tol...

Fooled · Fooled

My RAH celebrated 60 days of sobriety yesterday. I am confused as what to do when he shares this with me and that he got a round of applause. I have stuck to, "I am happy for you" Is that the right thing? Does anybody have any experience in acknowledging the accomplishment but staying on your side...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Now that i have no contact with my XAH, I can see myself. There are some behaviors etc that I dont like in myself. Because of neglect and abandonment issues as a child, i occasionally have a meltdown, when im sick or not up to par. I was berated as a child when i got ill or needed help. So these past few days i ha...

Jage1991 · Jage1991

How long do meetings last? And, I logged into meeting, but looked like I was the only one and it should have been half way through.

lookingup · lookingup

Will I ever learn this, my story backs up to where most already remembers my xabf,I had asked for prayers from y'all,n that I'd fill y'all in later.here it is,my truth....I had my xabf back in my home,I know kickk me,lol,1000000s times,this time was ,not good. running from law,hiding out,53 yo,got ch...

Shel66 · Shel66

I'm new to the board. My 18 year old son is an addict. I carry so much guilt and question everyday where my little boy went and who this young man who shows no emotion is.

Wray · Wray

My Son is an alcoholic, he went thru detox and checked into a rehab facility for a month. He got out 3 days ago and I found a bottle in his bag tonight. He is not a kid. He is 38 years old but still my son. I don't know what to say to him. I want to fix this but he is a grown man and I don't know how to talk to him about th...

Jage1991 · Jage1991

Can I discuss what I have learned this past week with my husband? About alcoholism, al anon, etc even though he has not yet admitted or realized there is a problem?

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 27 suggests that as the result of of living with the disease of alcoholism, many of us have developed survivor tools in order to live . The reading points out that we have been through many struggles and that we are more than our struggles, and more than our troubles. We are...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I logged on here to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving day, and of course, the long list of people and things I'm thankful for started to roll through my brain - there was so much that it was like a 45 RPM record playing on 78 RPM (LOL, who else remembers records??). Usually, when I review my almost endles...

GypsyxJ · GypsyxJ

Hello; Ive never used a forum before to reach out to total strangers and ask for help and guidance. But with no Al-anon meetings in my area i felt i would give it a try. While ill try to keep this somewhat short and to the point- my feelings and emotional turmoil are anything but short and to the point. My par...

vvv · vvv

So my ex abf just got out of jail last night for a DUI that happened on Saturday. Against my better judgment I went and picked him up because after all he's done to me and I've allowed I still wanted to hear what he had to say. He told me he had been going to church and aa while in jail and had a very good plan for hi...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

Hi all, Thanksgiving was a small celebration with just my mom, one sister, AH and his friend. Got to use my al-anon tools and feel much better for it. After dinner, AH got a bottle of scotch and took his friend into the TV room, leaving the three of us without a word. He emerged to tell my mother goodbye wh...

Jage1991 · Jage1991

So, my son just got back from a really big cattle show here in Canada and was really upset about some of the things people said to him. You see, he has attended this show previous years and been very successful, but because of the stress and expense, he didn't take cattle this year and is not even sure he wa...

joker · joker

My abf was on the rage yesterday and saying how bad the world is, corrupt, evil, dirty, selfish, ect..on and on he went. He sounded paranoid almost about the world. My question is what is that about and is that an alcoholic trait to view the world as a bad place...I should say to him today I did not go out and...

MissM · MissM

Nanowrimo is "national novel writers month" and it's basically a cool thing (if you're a massive nerd like me) where writers get into regional groups and have a competition where the objective is for each novelist to write 50,000 words (the minimum to be considered a novel) in November. There are pri...

catlover26 · catlover26

My boyfriend ( sort of feels like more of a friend these days) is an recovering alcoholic 30 yrs. But he has PTSD and depression so I know this affects him but he doesn't seem to work his program. He dwells on the past. Even though he doesn't like holidays I thought I would just go over there tonight (Thanks...

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	Al-anon speakers - Read Only Al-anon speakers	2	2	11 days ago by WebHelper
	Old sticky posts - Read Only Not sure what to do with these so parking them here.	6	91	Mar 10, 2026 by yopame7132

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	You can run but you cannot hide (Preview) I am not sure what it was today that kept pushing me off kilter but there was something. Nothing really concrete but a state of restless anxiety slowly burning under the surface all day. I really found myself fed up, ready to give up, hopeless, tired and weak. Like the armor I have been putting on is...	Fooled	6	638	Dec 4, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Confused, overwhelmed, hopeless, SAD ... (Preview) My ABF has been struggling with addiction since he was a kid. We come from VERY DIFFERENT backgrounds. So needless to say, it was hard for us to understand each others way of living. My ABF struggles a lot with boundaries. He would use the excuse of seeing his kids to disappear for days on end. He would end...	Confused16	5	661	Dec 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 12-4-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 4 speaks about making choices. The reading points out that many times, before program we made our choices strictly on the basis of our feelings as if feelings were facts. If we were frightened about taking certain action then we avoided it, there was no middle ground and no...	hotrod	3	805	Dec 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Old Behaviors (Preview) I'm really struggling with old behaviors .. mine .. LOL. Being new into a relationship for the first time in 5 years and then dealing with the fact I'm dealing with another co-dependent which there is nothing like two codies in a relationship together .. LOL. I have to keep really strong boundaries a...	SerenityRUS	5	596	Dec 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	New to group (Preview) Thank you for this group. My mother was an alcoholic. Now my son. He is 28 years old, very bright, and the world was his for the asking. He has been a slow downward spiral for years looking back but we just didn't see it. He was in Korea when his father died and that triggered an event with Adderall. He r...	DeeS	4	644	Dec 4, 2016 by Freetime
	Subtle shifts (Preview) I think the program is starting to sink in! I am noticing some subtle shifts in my thoughts and behaviors. I haven't made any big proclamations to myself, but my attitude is changing. AH is away this weekend hunting. Normally, I would think that he just wants to get away to drink freely. Now, while tha...	El	12	571	Dec 4, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Mini relapses- should I call him out? (Preview) ABF has been in AA for almost 90 days. He has had only 2 obvious relapses during that time and only missed only 1 meeting. (that I know of) Thats pretty good I think. However yesterday I came over and could smell just a liitle beer on him and he was acting a teeny bit off (nothing like drinking days) but I coul...	Aerin	11	636	Dec 4, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Feeling sorry for myself (Preview) I am really feeling sorry for myself right now. All my pent up anger has turned me into an asshole over the years...i just masked it as being 'authentic'....this is no longer a one off...this is a pattern I exhibit and it was only a matter of time before I could no longer get away with it.....i'm the common...	slogan_jim	9	4035	Dec 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Does the problem temporarily get worse when person starts Al Anon (Preview) I haven't been here for a while. I have been going to the face to face meeting and reading all the materials. I have also been practicing the 12 steps. I noticed something, does the addicted person's behavior get worse when the family practices the 12 steps? I have been re reading the new comers packe...	Lucy125	8	776	Dec 3, 2016 by Lucy125
	He relapsed (Preview) It's been about four months. It's 1am and I woke up because I heard husband making weird noises in the living room. He was asleep but I knew immediately something was up. Sure enough when I "woke" him he wasn't speaking English and couldn't look straight. He's not in active recovery, but I finally am. I...	Prissykitty	10	645	Dec 3, 2016 by maryjane
	Binge drinking spouse (Preview) Ok, so I have never gone to a meeting. My spouse (boyfriend of 13 years) has started showing signs of binge drinking - maybe it's been happening longer than I want to admit. We have been on the roller coaster as some describe it - things are great throughout the week, and then on Friday night, he says he's g...	Kristy66	3	602	Dec 3, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Dreading going home tonight... (Preview) My AH seems to find ways to take Fridays off or at least come home early on Fridays. I won't even go down the road of what a bad idea that is related to his work because it's not my problem it is his and shockingly it doesn't seem to cause him problems. But it causes me problems. He tries to refrain...	KT2015	20	1200	Dec 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 3/12 (Preview) Today's C2C asks "what is meditation?" It suggests that the answer for us is to interpret in our own ways, but drawing on other member's experiences can help us to find what works for us. It suggests various interpretations such as seeking the spiritual purpose to our actions, concentrating on breat...	MissM	3	514	Dec 3, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Feeling confused (Preview) lo everyone, I am new to this group and have already taken comfort from reading your messages. My husband and I have now separated because he is an alcoholic. I am incredibly sad about this and struggling to come to terms with it because I love him but I had to end it for a number of reasons but mainly becaus...	JosieP	7	862	Dec 3, 2016 by Mcat54
	Let it begin with me (Preview) For the last month or so my daughter has been the bane of my existence. I have finally have achieved happiness, and a somewhat sense of peace and serenity and I swear to all that is holy that if I thought she could be, she is doing it on purpose. Every single day she manages to push my buttons and test t...	Fooled	19	906	Dec 3, 2016 by Fooled
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/2/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses the concept of recovery - "Let it Begin With Me". The reading suggests it's easy for us to sit and itemize the defects of our qualifier/others. We can spend hours thinking of the ways others should/could change! Yet, not one time has this mental criticism improved anythi...	Iamhere	2	546	Dec 2, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Gaslighting? I get it now! (Preview) I kept hearing talk of "Gaslighting" and then someone referenced the movie, so I went to the library and got it on DVD to watch. My AH was passed out, so I had uninterrupted time. Now I totally understand the use of that term. And last night, I saw it in action. I went out to dinner with 5 very good women...	Bethany66	7	718	Dec 2, 2016 by milkwood
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/1/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about 'all that is Al-Anon'.....what this means is we arrive, and no matter how defeated, broken, crazy or other we are - we are invited back. Many of us are grateful for this love and acceptance, no matter our condition when we arrive. For many, Al-Anon is the last hope. The dis...	Iamhere	3	580	Dec 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Perception (Preview) How do we perceive ourselves and how accurate is that perception to others? Is our perception of ourselves always the same as how others perceive us? The alcoholic doesn't think they have a problem, but we all know they do...as far as they're concerned they are one thing, we see them as something comp...	slogan_jim	7	773	Dec 1, 2016 by slogan_jim
	Better times. (Preview) What a weekend. Daughter and I went to volunteer at a very large music festival that happens in a town about 40 minutes from home. The idea is, you work for 10 hours and in return they give you an all-access pass for the entire 3 day event. Daughter wasn't required to volunteer in the end because she is too y...	MissM	6	709	Dec 1, 2016 by sarahGee
	phonecall(s) from my ex .. (Preview) I'm not really surprised as i once would have been earlier in my recovery but i think a part of me will always be a little baffled in the presence of the disease of addiction .. these past couple weeks i received many calls from my ex addict .. this happens when his life slows .. maybe a comedown moment .. not...	MeTwo2	6	700	Dec 1, 2016 by MeTwo2
	It's hard for me to clearly define my boundary-I just want serenity! (Preview) My qualifier tended to phone me after drinking in the evenings. After those calls I had trouble sleeping. I decided I could take control of getting healthy sleep if I turned my ringers off on my phone at 8 pm. It took about a year, but my A finally accepted the phone wouldn't be answered (though she still s...	lgnutah	4	603	Dec 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	11/30/16 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's reading challenges us to consider every person we encounter as a teacher who offers us a very important lesson to learn...every person, even the ones whose company we struggle to endure. We may witness positive qualities we can adopt, negative traits that remind us of something we are worki...	Enigmatic	8	695	Dec 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	THANKFUL (Preview) A few years back I bought a strip of plaid fabric that had just the word "THANKFUL" stitched onto it in large capital letters. I hang it on my front door every November but I love lookjng at it so much I almost hate to take it down when it's time to put up my Christmas wreath.	lgnutah	2	454	Dec 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	my husband just left me, and it's hurting so much (Preview) I asked my husband to leave because I don't deserve to be treated so badly: aiming fist at me and calling me names and demeaning my being a person. I don't know if he drank last friday but he came home later than usual. He keeps on saying bad words while sleeping friday night. Saturday was quiet, I tried...	jocelgp	20	4246	Dec 1, 2016 by Suburban Denizen
	lady-child (Preview) It's been a rough semester. I live approx 2 hours from my university and this semester I was meant to do a lot of contact hours. I negotiated with my child, 2 days a week she would go to the school library at 7:30am (when the staff come on duty) so I could get to school late for an 8am class. We had a deal. When it...	MissM	2	543	Nov 30, 2016 by lgnutah
	Healing your Inner Child? (Preview) I'm starting to work on healing my Inner Child, and I was wondering how some of you have done it? I've been struggling with doing this for years and it's holding me back from having a happy and healthy life. I'm nearly 23 and I want to start living. The thing is I don't know how.	Miss A	10	1071	Nov 30, 2016 by Bethany66
	The Need To Know The Truth (Preview) Something I have really been struggling with lately is feeling like I need for my son(adult son) to admit he has been using when he stops by.It's obvious to me that he's high,I already know he is,yet I still call him out on it,even though I already know he's going to deny it. I am causing arguments with him...	TessaB	16	839	Nov 30, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Asking for prayers and help... (Preview) Asking for prayer and help!I have not been interacting on the boards for a good while because of internal and external hardships I am so overwhelmed with and that has reduced my ability to shoot positive energy, inspiration, and hope into the Universe for the benefit of others, when I am so stuck in the...	John	28	1551	Nov 30, 2016 by MissM
	little moments (Preview) I was lucky to have met my AH when he was sober. We had many wonderful years together. Then alcohol came back into his life and my world became explosive. Most of the time the disease has control of him, but sometimes there's little moments when I get a glimpse of the man I used to know. As time goes by those l...	_bunny_	4	582	Nov 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	What to do with loved ones estate after they pass? (Preview) Spent thanksgiving with my aging father,not in good health ,I and him discussed on what to do with his son age 42 my baby brother after father passes,his huge concern, a/b is disabled physically and mentally ,due to lifetime of alcohol and drug use, ab has always lived with my father,always been depen...	lookingup	11	786	Nov 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	New And Out Of Control (Preview) Hello. I used to be active in Alanon years ago but then,I don't know,I guess I thought I didn't need to work the program anymore.A few days ago,though,I had a total meltdown,ranting and raving at my addicted adult son.After he left,I ranted and raved at my husband,and I got so upset and out of control I k...	TessaB	4	690	Nov 29, 2016 by TessaB
	Harder now that he's sober (Preview) Ugh. I swear these mood swings, daily physical ailments and just general anger and unavailability is almost harder than it was when he was actively using. Just needed to that off my chest to people that understand.	Prissykitty	17	1284	Nov 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Detachment...what is it really? (Preview) ive read quite a few books as well as writing on here...what exactly is detachmen? The way I see it is that you can still love someone and support, but not run to their aide. I've been working very hard on this and it's even harder because I do not think active alcoholics understand, which makes it even har...	vvv	12	803	Nov 29, 2016 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today Nov 29 (Preview) Good morning all- Today's reading is about our slogan 'live and let live'. It seems I cannot have enough reminders about staying in my own business and out of everyone else's! The writer describes a childhood w an active A father, but who felt resentment and anger toward mother for her role in it and he...	yanksfan51	5	586	Nov 29, 2016 by TessaB
	Welcome back Slogan_Jim (Preview) Hi my name is Jim and I'm a grateful member of al-anon. It's been awhile. I'm glad I thought of the fellowship recently. I havn't been to a meeting in months....posted here in maybe a year... I felt it was time for me to grow in a different direction in different areas of my life. It was time to break away fro...	slogan_jim	5	1484	Nov 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	MIP Intergroup... sometime...? (Preview) Hi y'all, The Alanon board is by far the biggest board in the MIP clubhouse. I belong to another group as well, "across the corridor". While in the USA I went to meetings in towns like Sarasota, Rapid City, Atlanta, Lower Manhattan, and Mill Valley Ca. Many places have a clubhouse, started by AA....	DavidG	7	662	Nov 29, 2016 by el-cee
	Drinking While Driving (Preview) Happy Sunday! I would like to know if anyone has known their A to be above the legal limit and driving. Did you practice loving detachment? Did you call the authorities? Please share your experiences.	_bunny_	12	832	Nov 29, 2016 by el-cee
	Holiday UPdate :) (Preview) Had a lovely thanksgiving with my boyfriends family. They live about 1 1/2 hours away from here this was the first car trip of that length with the kids .. I wondered how we would all do in a confined space .. LOL. It was a blast! We would be fine .. my poor boyfriend would run for the hills. The kids are re...	SerenityRUS	9	624	Nov 29, 2016 by Jen61
	So many questions. Newbie (Preview) I'm new to this and need help. Where do I start? Meetings? what to expect. Please help me.	Lou Lou	8	684	Nov 28, 2016 by Rinn
	STEP 7 (Preview) STEP 7 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. PLEASE JOIN IN AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS. earn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! http://stepwork.activeboard...	hotrod	1	814	Nov 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	WAIT (Preview) Listen to an al-anon speaker on u-tube and heard this-WAIT-meaning why am I talking...and WASTE-Why am I still talking... I had to share this..it made me think and go mmm.	joker	4	908	Nov 28, 2016 by Bethany66
	One Day at a Time in AlAnon 11/28/16 (Preview) One saying in AlAnon is that 'No situation is hopeless.' Our reading notes that hope and despair describe only our feelings about a situation, not the situation or our life itself. This is an important distinction, because the only thing separating a hopeless feeling from a hopeful feeling is belie...	Enigmatic	3	682	Nov 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Do you find your A is much more than an A? (Preview) So, I know an alcoholic is an addict. An addict is an addict. But, I've come to learn my A is not just an alcoholic, but also likes pills. He will tell me he's going to get weed, but I have suspicions that it's more than that. I have found text messages about pills, Facebook messages, and most recently he tol...	madowl86	6	660	Nov 28, 2016 by el-cee
	Esh on Etiguette (Preview) My RAH celebrated 60 days of sobriety yesterday. I am confused as what to do when he shares this with me and that he got a round of applause. I have stuck to, "I am happy for you" Is that the right thing? Does anybody have any experience in acknowledging the accomplishment but staying on your side...	Fooled	15	731	Nov 28, 2016 by Fooled
	SEEING MYSELF (Preview) Now that i have no contact with my XAH, I can see myself. There are some behaviors etc that I dont like in myself. Because of neglect and abandonment issues as a child, i occasionally have a meltdown, when im sick or not up to par. I was berated as a child when i got ill or needed help. So these past few days i ha...	YARNCRAZY	2	579	Nov 27, 2016 by hotrod
	meetings (Preview) How long do meetings last? And, I logged into meeting, but looked like I was the only one and it should have been half way through.	Jage1991	2	494	Nov 27, 2016 by wp
	Will I ever learn the stove is hot (do not touch it) (Preview) Will I ever learn this, my story backs up to where most already remembers my xabf,I had asked for prayers from y'all,n that I'd fill y'all in later.here it is,my truth....I had my xabf back in my home,I know kickk me,lol,1000000s times,this time was ,not good. running from law,hiding out,53 yo,got ch...	lookingup	9	662	Nov 27, 2016 by lookingup
	New to group. I need help! (Preview) I'm new to the board. My 18 year old son is an addict. I carry so much guilt and question everyday where my little boy went and who this young man who shows no emotion is.	Shel66	3	573	Nov 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Off the wagon (Preview) My Son is an alcoholic, he went thru detox and checked into a rehab facility for a month. He got out 3 days ago and I found a bottle in his bag tonight. He is not a kid. He is 38 years old but still my son. I don't know what to say to him. I want to fix this but he is a grown man and I don't know how to talk to him about th...	Wray	2	636	Nov 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Discuss findings with AH (Preview) Can I discuss what I have learned this past week with my husband? About alcoholism, al anon, etc even though he has not yet admitted or realized there is a problem?	Jage1991	8	687	Nov 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 11-27-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 27 suggests that as the result of of living with the disease of alcoholism, many of us have developed survivor tools in order to live . The reading points out that we have been through many struggles and that we are more than our struggles, and more than our troubles. We are...	hotrod	1	699	Nov 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Gratitude, of course . . . (Preview) I logged on here to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving day, and of course, the long list of people and things I'm thankful for started to roll through my brain - there was so much that it was like a 45 RPM record playing on 78 RPM (LOL, who else remembers records??). Usually, when I review my almost endles...	texas yankee	8	670	Nov 27, 2016 by texas yankee
	New to Al-Anon and in need of some help al-anon alcoholics support help newcomer (Preview) Hello; Ive never used a forum before to reach out to total strangers and ask for help and guidance. But with no Al-anon meetings in my area i felt i would give it a try. While ill try to keep this somewhat short and to the point- my feelings and emotional turmoil are anything but short and to the point. My par...	GypsyxJ	5	4409	Nov 27, 2016 by Jerry F
	Out of jail after 5 days (Preview) So my ex abf just got out of jail last night for a DUI that happened on Saturday. Against my better judgment I went and picked him up because after all he's done to me and I've allowed I still wanted to hear what he had to say. He told me he had been going to church and aa while in jail and had a very good plan for hi...	vvv	11	690	Nov 26, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Using tools for better holiday (Preview) Hi all, Thanksgiving was a small celebration with just my mom, one sister, AH and his friend. Got to use my al-anon tools and feel much better for it. After dinner, AH got a bottle of scotch and took his friend into the TV room, leaving the three of us without a word. He emerged to tell my mother goodbye wh...	Mcat54	7	637	Nov 26, 2016 by lookingup
	Advice for a 21 year old son of an A (Preview) So, my son just got back from a really big cattle show here in Canada and was really upset about some of the things people said to him. You see, he has attended this show previous years and been very successful, but because of the stress and expense, he didn't take cattle this year and is not even sure he wa...	Jage1991	2	654	Nov 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	raging at the world (Preview) My abf was on the rage yesterday and saying how bad the world is, corrupt, evil, dirty, selfish, ect..on and on he went. He sounded paranoid almost about the world. My question is what is that about and is that an alcoholic trait to view the world as a bad place...I should say to him today I did not go out and...	joker	9	1289	Nov 26, 2016 by MovieGal
	Nano (Preview) Nanowrimo is "national novel writers month" and it's basically a cool thing (if you're a massive nerd like me) where writers get into regional groups and have a competition where the objective is for each novelist to write 50,000 words (the minimum to be considered a novel) in November. There are pri...	MissM	9	627	Nov 26, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Frustrated and hard not to take it personal (Preview) My boyfriend ( sort of feels like more of a friend these days) is an recovering alcoholic 30 yrs. But he has PTSD and depression so I know this affects him but he doesn't seem to work his program. He dwells on the past. Even though he doesn't like holidays I thought I would just go over there tonight (Thanks...	catlover26	5	672	Nov 26, 2016 by Fooled
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.