Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses the difficulty some of us have in viewing Alcoholism as a disease instead of a choice. It questions why an alcoholic can't just make a decision to quit and be done with it. For the writer, there was a light bulb moment when another member compared Alcoholism to Alzheimer's...

Rosemeyer · Rosemeyer

Today's C2C reading has me thinking about a conflict I am having: Soon-to-be X and I began our relationship 45 years ago. We were not in the drug scene, thank God, but drinking was just an everyday part of our lives. Of course, in no time, we were drinking alcoholicly. He comes from a family of alcoho...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I had been having a good run. I went to a first F2F meeting and was overwhelmed with the kindness of people there. The speaker said something that unlocked so much emotion in me when it helped me to realize I had been expecting a life that didn't involve the disease. I had failed to acknowledge my AH's s...

lookingup · lookingup

How do I set me a quote for my threads ?

mjferg · mjferg

As I go through this journey of recovery and am blessed with grace and the love of my higher power I often feel a deep sadness at the same time. Not only did I end the relationship with my A, he was also found dead ten months later from an overdose.So my journey has been very painful, as I have had to grieve a d...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays c2c talks about how al-anon can help resolve the contradiction between not wanting to dwell on or be governed by past hurts and disappointments, but also not dismissing them without "dealing". The writer suggests that by joining with others in the fellowship, they feel they have been able to...

el-cee · el-cee

I have this spoilt brat voice in my head at times and when things arent going exactly to my liking I revert to a child and have a wee bit of a subtle, passive manipulative tantrum. Can you relate? This relationship I am in has many beautiful things in it. When I am being a grown up and mature I appreciate it an...

missmeliss · missmeliss

OK, it's been a full moon kinda day and that's a for sure. Earlier, daughter decided she didn't want to come to the gym/pool and so i decided to leave her at home with the dog in charge and take myself there for a "quick swim". So I rushed through my swim, and left while it was still light. It's been a crappy da...

mom2_4 · mom2_4

Hello Everyone. I am new here. This is my first post. My son is 25. My son is an alcoholic. I've said it, yet I feel guilt, shame and failure. My son has been on his own off and on for 6-7 years. He always ends up coming back to mom after he has made so many bad choices in his circumstances and burned so man...

Tigerlily · Tigerlily

To begin, I know there are other older threads regarding relationships and how they are affected. This isn't easy to say and I hope I don't come across as some self centred fool but here goes... I have been with my partner for nearly 7 years (I'm 37 he's 33) and engaged for most of that time. Whilst I have no...

Fooled · Fooled

AH and I had a couples counseling session last night with our Pastor. It was right after a verbal exchange in which it appears that he may have been untruthful regarding a large purchase and trying to recoup some of that. The exchange came when I asked him about it and he became very defensive, espec...

scotty · scotty

Hello, I'm new to this forum but need to get things off my chest somehow. I am the wife an alcoholic. I was brought up by an alcoholic father and ironically I'm a alcohol misuse worker! My husband has always been a heavy drinker but things started to get out of control when he suffered his second bout of dep...

John · John

We are charged 16.95 per month for this board, and when it goes into any arrears, they start to tinker with things some to give us a wake up call. Right now we are 50.85 in arrears. S0 they have it where you can't tell new post or replies from already read ones. Because of the highlighting code on their en...

SeaMe4 · SeaMe4

I am here so that I can first and foremost UNDERSTAND and NOT JUDGE. I wish to SUPPORT my girlfriend in a HEALTHY way. Because I can be co-dependent I can easily make excuses for her behavior should she fall back into it. She is clean and has been for a little over a year. I just want the support and understan...

LinSC · LinSC

:) I appreciate it....

Living508 · Living508

grateful member of al anon for several years. father is my qualifier. haven't been able to get to meeting lately due to health problems and a difficult pregnancy while caring for another young child with a husband who works away. anyway, dad went into rehab a few years ago. i have never since him drink s...

howtohelp · howtohelp

I don't know where else to turn. I don't want to walk away from her. She became my employee. We became close friends. She doesn't like to feel, she opened up to me. It took her two years to get on her GED and in two months time I had her done with three of the 4 tests. I pushed and pushed so she got her community pr...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Something weird happened to my account and maybe one of the moderators can address it in this thread or privately. I logged in and first off I had started a topic and usually that is saved to draft for the next time I log in that is gone. Everything on the site looks like it has been read. Is there a reason...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning- Today's reading speaks about the practicing our program tools and keeping an open mind, with a specific mention of meditationband how restorative that practice can be. The writer compares meditation to checking in with her HP as she hornets through life. When meditation was first...

lookingup · lookingup

my studying up on these 2 words ....what's the difference between pity and love got my attention quick,I never had realized that my past all consisted of pity not love not true love but pity they were pitiful looking bad or wanting attention etc,lol,there I was oh so codependent me falling for it every...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I continue to live apart from my husband, and for our kids to split our time between both homes. My heart is shutting down more and more, and I have pretty much concluded I can no longer be married in a situation where recovery is not truly sought, but lying and denial abound. I struggle just writing the...

Mattie · Mattie

This article on the statistics about drinking in the U.S. provides food for thought: "30 percent of American adults don't drink at all. Another 30 percent consume, on average, less than one drink per week. On the other hand, the top 10 percent of American adults - 24 million of them - consume an a...

lookingup · lookingup

As to sticking with my program and remembering the tools that's helped me through some tough sit.ive often thought about how many times I've been in my recovery and dropped it over 20 year span,wow,long time .Today my new tool that keeps popping in my head every time I feel myself wanting to run away so t...

Fedora · Fedora

Hello. I'm here out of desperation; I read thread after thread last night and wept, since I could have written way too many of them. I have looked for an in-person Al-Anon group in my town and found one, although it doesn't meet until next week. As an introduction, my spouse has always been a drinker but I...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I started thinking about fear and risk in my life and I wrote this poem. I thought I would share it here as this came out of reflecting on my al-anon tools and looking at my resistance to making decisions in my life. maybe it will spark something for someone.

remember,"Safety Third"my de...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

Tonight my AH is playing mind games and I've opted out. Not my kind of party. He was snooping in one of my journals, but doesn't want to talk to me, then of course the whole thing is my fault for various reasons . . . Lots of insanity. I'm glad my alanon tools kept me calm and clear, and glad I could detatch whe...

petey49 · petey49

He has been a heavy drinker since 2009. For at least the past 2 years (when I started to keep track) he has been drinking 1.75 litres of whiskey every 5 to 6 days. Last Friday morning (18 March), after a fight (it had been at least 12 hours since his last drink), I finally told him that I was concerned abo...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's ODAT page is a gentle reminder of the importance of developing and maintaining a positive focus as we progress in our recovery. There is certainly relief when we first find AlAnon and find that we are not alone, and become aware that others can relate to the fears and struggles that we may share...

caprilyeous · caprilyeous

Hello All, This is not only my first time posting to this board, but my first time with Al-Anon. I've been dealing with two alcoholics in the family for years pretty much by myself and tonight I just needed help, some one to lend an ear and maybe offer some words of wisdom. So let me tell you why I am here......

Momof1 · Momof1

This is my first time here. Here is my back story...I'm married and the mother of a seven year old. My husband is an alcoholic and drug addict. Her is an equal opportunity drug user...whatever he can get! In January, he decided he wanted to "to get off the hard stuff" and sought out Xanax, whic...

lastonestanding · lastonestanding

I have had limited contact with my alcoholic sibling and my mother for a number of years. I needed boundaries to protect myself from the effects of his drinking (violence) and her enabling. In the course of 6 months, she has been admitted to a nursing home - quite elderly and with dementia. I am her POA...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 21 focuses on listening to the still small voice within and then acting upon what we hear It points out that we cannot see around blind corners and that if we simply ask for guidance, listen and act we will be directed in the right path. The reading goes on to suggest that we m...

joker · joker

I am feeling stronger day by day and the decision to leave the ABF is becoming clearer. Yesterday, he just completed a week drunk. What a nightmare but I did my best to not engage in an argument with him and instead left the room to not be effected by his active drinking. He has gotten himself into trouble....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 20 speaks about the fourth Step Guide:"Blueprint for Progress" . It points out that this book focuses on defining our self-worth while we are taking a searching and fearless moral inventory. Many times we will find that we have judged our value on the basis of our...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am now a Board Certified Registered Nurse! Yesterday I passed and have accomplished the biggest goal I had set for myself since leaving my exAH and heading out into this big world without needing to rely on a man! I have broken so many family cycles and the dysfunction just keeps sloughing off. I truly...

kspec85 · kspec85

Sometimes I forget to be grateful. I thought it might be nice to start a thread For what we are grateful for today. I'm grateful for my job. I don't always like it but it's income does allow me to live fairly comfortable with my children. I'm grateful that my children are healthy. I'm grateful fo...

a4l · a4l

Its my daughters 3rd birthday tomorrow and we are having a small party for her. She loves frozen so there's a bunch of frozen themed stuff and ill make her cake in a letter a and stick some little dolls on it. I've finished stuffing the pinata with lollies and chocolate eggs. But here's the thing. Her dayc...

a4l · a4l

I was tempted to go buy a perfect cake yesterday and I'm so glad I didn't. Today my lovely neighbour came with some of her brood for daughters birthday but not before popping in earlier to see if there was anything I needed from the shops. She was on her way to get daughter a present though I had said honestl...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 19 speaks about our compulsion to focus on other people. When we first enter Al-Anon and examine our motives we discovered that many of us have the idea that we are the experts on how everyone else should behave and feel self-righteous when they don't follow our rules of condu...

Fairlee · Fairlee

Hello everyone! I have been reading, not responding much. I have been going to f2f meetings more, still difficult with them being an hour away, but always, always so glad that I go when I get there :) Nothing much has changed in my life. Active AH. 3 teenagers, each showing their own signs of this awful f...

kspec85 · kspec85

I have not attended any F2F meetings. I'm scared. I feel embarrassed. Plus my A is attending AA and NA meetings and Al Anon is held at the same places his meetings are and the whole thing feels awkward and crazy for me. How quick I have been to be like, Get your butt to a meeting, don't tell me your trying when...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 5 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in at the following "addy" and share your thoughts...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Had a great meeting today, subject was honesty and then many shared it was Being honest about their reality. No longer in denial And willing to look within And be honest. That is the beauty of alanon you can see your honesty when you are ready to do so. Many come wanting answers to their problems. It ta...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

Spoke to AH on Skype from rehab tonight. He had told me to expect a call from his therapist a couple of weeks ago. I let him know tonight no one had called. He reiterated they would want me to participate at some point. I agreed. He said we could Skype because it wouldn't work with our daughter ther...

Gailsy · Gailsy

I have not been on this site for quite a long time but find it necessary today to ask for support. For those of you that remember me I have a son who is in recovery for going on 5 years now. For that I am extremely grateful. I have a younger son who is in the military and lives with his wife and 2 children. I am visi...

Delta40 · Delta40

Hello. I've attended several meetings thanks to a friend who told me about Al-Anon. I do have difficulty in opening up probably because I come from a family of alcoholics and I'm still learning about boundaries. It feels good having them in my life as I have noticed the effect it has had on my adult ch...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family! Today's daily reading discusses our 8th Tradition - which states taht our 12 Step work should remain nonprofessional. This is further and simply explained that as Al-Anon members, our ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope) is more than enough to help others recover from...

Wife321 · Wife321

Hello, I have never done anything like this before but I am hoping this will help me! I was recently married last March 2015. I was able to help my husband quit smoking. I thought he was still a non smoker, I had my doubts and asked him multiple times to fess up if he started up again. He always had an excuse or...

Jennyp · Jennyp

So I have been to one meeting and have now been doing reasearch which is how I came across this forum. I actually think that 1 meeting (so far) helped me this week.My spouse is a binge drinking alcoholic I guess. There are many times when we can get together with family or friends and he has a few and is fine....

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading from Courage to Change asks us to reflect on "This Too Shall Pass". The reading discusses how no problem lasts forever and no matter how permanently fixed it appears today, it will pass - even the pain. We all face difficult situations and often times those situations b...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I have been relying on this board for support and wisdom for the last couple of months. The stories and shares have been so helpful. I can't get to FTF meetings because long hours at the office already cut into the time I need for my young daughter who struggles with her dad/my AH being away in rehab. Mo...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

i read the posts on this board every day 2xs a day. After reading some more of the painful episodes our fellow members have been going through, I realize how grateful i am. Im grateful with my hp f2f and all of you here, that im doing ok. I wake up every morning after a good night sleep[mostly],dont have to b...

Gardening · Gardening

Hello all, I joined recently and posted a thread introducing myself. I'm engaged to an alcoholic and shortly after I joined this forum we had a large fight. I got off of work early and went to his work to see him. He was sitting in his truck at work drinking, he works at a place where we both are also keep s...

manas · manas

My A is out of rehab (out on 12th March) . I am slowly detaching. I gave him my attention for these few days. Now, I am back to working my first full day in office. Usually, when I come home, he is just like a kid but dull. Forcing me to take him out and so on. But from 2-3 days, he is sleeping heavily and at odd hour...

lookingup · lookingup

Yes I haven't been able so to grab any alanon tools up to deal with my a sis,I ended up leavening my home for the day to get my balance back and to take some deep breaths before I exploded on her which I didn't but I did feed all up into her mess with blaming me for everything i.e,I'm stealing from her,I'm snoop...

acook · acook

My husband and I have been married for almost 27 years. We have 3 children in their 20s who are grown and out of the house. My husband has always been a heavier drinker than I am. I am not a teetotaler by any means, but hardly ever get buzzed and can count on one hand (with leftover fingers) how many times I...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Sometimes i wonde if watching out for myself backfires. I quit my 2nd job in a month yesterday. It was a stinky job,really low but i reasoned that a job was a job. it was selling over the phone fake male enhancement pills to old men. it was an easy bus ride to the office but Im not a liar so it was hard to sell fal...

manas · manas

My A is out of forced rehab. I am consciously applying my newly learned Al Anon tools. Challenging, because his behavior is already unpredictable. I am not pushing anything, letting things flow, yet making my point once so that he knows that there are new boundaries. He enjoyed his first hour of freed...

kspec85 · kspec85

I apologize in advance for a long post. My fianc was 10 months clean when all of a sudden he suffered a freak accident and had to go into emergency surgery. I was proud that the whole day leading up to it (we did not yet know he would need surgery) he refused all narcotics and was honest with the staff that he w...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's courage to change reading speaks about the pitfalls of having unrealistic expectations of ourselves and our recovery. It suggests that if we develop idealised standards about how we are supposed to be when we are 'recovered" then we are likely to become dissapointed and unhappy. It s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/24/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses the difficulty some of us have in viewing Alcoholism as a disease instead of a choice. It questions why an alcoholic can't just make a decision to quit and be done with it. For the writer, there was a light bulb moment when another member compared Alcoholism to Alzheimer's...	Iamhere	4	597	Mar 24, 2016 by hotrod
	Does it matter if it is alcoholism or not? (Preview) Today's C2C reading has me thinking about a conflict I am having: Soon-to-be X and I began our relationship 45 years ago. We were not in the drug scene, thank God, but drinking was just an everyday part of our lives. Of course, in no time, we were drinking alcoholicly. He comes from a family of alcoho...	Rosemeyer	2	588	Mar 24, 2016 by hotrod
	Trouble Separating the Person from the Disease (Preview) I had been having a good run. I went to a first F2F meeting and was overwhelmed with the kindness of people there. The speaker said something that unlocked so much emotion in me when it helped me to realize I had been expecting a life that didn't involve the disease. I had failed to acknowledge my AH's s...	sunmustshine	4	707	Mar 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Settings on board (Preview) How do I set me a quote for my threads ?	lookingup	2	393	Mar 24, 2016 by hotrod
	When recovery is bittersweet (Preview) As I go through this journey of recovery and am blessed with grace and the love of my higher power I often feel a deep sadness at the same time. Not only did I end the relationship with my A, he was also found dead ten months later from an overdose.So my journey has been very painful, as I have had to grieve a d...	mjferg	3	634	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage To change 23/3 (Preview) Todays c2c talks about how al-anon can help resolve the contradiction between not wanting to dwell on or be governed by past hurts and disappointments, but also not dismissing them without "dealing". The writer suggests that by joining with others in the fellowship, they feel they have been able to...	missmeliss	2	524	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Inner Child - shut up (Preview) I have this spoilt brat voice in my head at times and when things arent going exactly to my liking I revert to a child and have a wee bit of a subtle, passive manipulative tantrum. Can you relate? This relationship I am in has many beautiful things in it. When I am being a grown up and mature I appreciate it an...	el-cee	2	628	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Weird situation that has my cage well and truly rattled. (Preview) OK, it's been a full moon kinda day and that's a for sure. Earlier, daughter decided she didn't want to come to the gym/pool and so i decided to leave her at home with the dog in charge and take myself there for a "quick swim". So I rushed through my swim, and left while it was still light. It's been a crappy da...	missmeliss	11	569	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	My Son (Preview) Hello Everyone. I am new here. This is my first post. My son is 25. My son is an alcoholic. I've said it, yet I feel guilt, shame and failure. My son has been on his own off and on for 6-7 years. He always ends up coming back to mom after he has made so many bad choices in his circumstances and burned so man...	mom2_4	6	478	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	I'm losing the love of my life to AA (Preview) To begin, I know there are other older threads regarding relationships and how they are affected. This isn't easy to say and I hope I don't come across as some self centred fool but here goes... I have been with my partner for nearly 7 years (I'm 37 he's 33) and engaged for most of that time. Whilst I have no...	Tigerlily	9	699	Mar 23, 2016 by Truth
	He's different (Preview) AH and I had a couples counseling session last night with our Pastor. It was right after a verbal exchange in which it appears that he may have been untruthful regarding a large purchase and trying to recoup some of that. The exchange came when I asked him about it and he became very defensive, espec...	Fooled	8	599	Mar 23, 2016 by Fooled
	struggling (Preview) Hello, I'm new to this forum but need to get things off my chest somehow. I am the wife an alcoholic. I was brought up by an alcoholic father and ironically I'm a alcohol misuse worker! My husband has always been a heavy drinker but things started to get out of control when he suffered his second bout of dep...	scotty	7	533	Mar 23, 2016 by el-cee
	Problems with Board... (Preview) We are charged 16.95 per month for this board, and when it goes into any arrears, they start to tinker with things some to give us a wake up call. Right now we are 50.85 in arrears. S0 they have it where you can't tell new post or replies from already read ones. Because of the highlighting code on their en...	John	3	520	Mar 23, 2016 by a4l
	Support for my Girlfriend (Preview) I am here so that I can first and foremost UNDERSTAND and NOT JUDGE. I wish to SUPPORT my girlfriend in a HEALTHY way. Because I can be co-dependent I can easily make excuses for her behavior should she fall back into it. She is clean and has been for a little over a year. I just want the support and understan...	SeaMe4	5	690	Mar 23, 2016 by Jerry F
	Thank you John you fixed us.... (Preview) :) I appreciate it....	LinSC	2	374	Mar 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	punched in the gut (Preview) grateful member of al anon for several years. father is my qualifier. haven't been able to get to meeting lately due to health problems and a difficult pregnancy while caring for another young child with a husband who works away. anyway, dad went into rehab a few years ago. i have never since him drink s...	Living508	3	536	Mar 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Best Friend Recovering Addict; Graduated Drug Court, seems to be throwing me away (Preview) I don't know where else to turn. I don't want to walk away from her. She became my employee. We became close friends. She doesn't like to feel, she opened up to me. It took her two years to get on her GED and in two months time I had her done with three of the 4 tests. I pushed and pushed so she got her community pr...	howtohelp	2	551	Mar 22, 2016 by Mattie
	Site Question (Preview) Something weird happened to my account and maybe one of the moderators can address it in this thread or privately. I logged in and first off I had started a topic and usually that is saved to draft for the next time I log in that is gone. Everything on the site looks like it has been read. Is there a reason...	SerenityRUS	15	587	Mar 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today March 22 (Preview) Good morning- Today's reading speaks about the practicing our program tools and keeping an open mind, with a specific mention of meditationband how restorative that practice can be. The writer compares meditation to checking in with her HP as she hornets through life. When meditation was first...	yanksfan51	2	515	Mar 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Is it pity or love? (Preview) my studying up on these 2 words ....what's the difference between pity and love got my attention quick,I never had realized that my past all consisted of pity not love not true love but pity they were pitiful looking bad or wanting attention etc,lol,there I was oh so codependent me falling for it every...	lookingup	4	853	Mar 22, 2016 by lookingup
	trusting HP but unsure of paths and messages (Preview) I continue to live apart from my husband, and for our kids to split our time between both homes. My heart is shutting down more and more, and I have pretty much concluded I can no longer be married in a situation where recovery is not truly sought, but lying and denial abound. I struggle just writing the...	oceanpine	3	509	Mar 21, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	Food for thought (Preview) This article on the statistics about drinking in the U.S. provides food for thought: "30 percent of American adults don't drink at all. Another 30 percent consume, on average, less than one drink per week. On the other hand, the top 10 percent of American adults - 24 million of them - consume an a...	Mattie	9	625	Mar 21, 2016 by a4l
	My Honest Share !!!!! (Preview) As to sticking with my program and remembering the tools that's helped me through some tough sit.ive often thought about how many times I've been in my recovery and dropped it over 20 year span,wow,long time .Today my new tool that keeps popping in my head every time I feel myself wanting to run away so t...	lookingup	7	649	Mar 21, 2016 by lookingup
	Head In Sand (Preview) Hello. I'm here out of desperation; I read thread after thread last night and wept, since I could have written way too many of them. I have looked for an in-person Al-Anon group in my town and found one, although it doesn't meet until next week. As an introduction, my spouse has always been a drinker but I...	Fedora	22	1070	Mar 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	a poem (Preview) I started thinking about fear and risk in my life and I wrote this poem. I thought I would share it here as this came out of reflecting on my al-anon tools and looking at my resistance to making decisions in my life. maybe it will spark something for someone. remember,"Safety Third"my de...	Taraxacum	8	661	Mar 21, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Keeping the focus. . . (Preview) Tonight my AH is playing mind games and I've opted out. Not my kind of party. He was snooping in one of my journals, but doesn't want to talk to me, then of course the whole thing is my fault for various reasons . . . Lots of insanity. I'm glad my alanon tools kept me calm and clear, and glad I could detatch whe...	Taraxacum	12	756	Mar 21, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Now what??? Will the other shoe fall??? (Preview) He has been a heavy drinker since 2009. For at least the past 2 years (when I started to keep track) he has been drinking 1.75 litres of whiskey every 5 to 6 days. Last Friday morning (18 March), after a fight (it had been at least 12 hours since his last drink), I finally told him that I was concerned abo...	petey49	5	572	Mar 21, 2016 by Mattie
	ODAT 3-21: Focusing on Progress in Al-Anon (Preview) Today's ODAT page is a gentle reminder of the importance of developing and maintaining a positive focus as we progress in our recovery. There is certainly relief when we first find AlAnon and find that we are not alone, and become aware that others can relate to the fears and struggles that we may share...	Enigmatic	3	517	Mar 21, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) Hello All, This is not only my first time posting to this board, but my first time with Al-Anon. I've been dealing with two alcoholics in the family for years pretty much by myself and tonight I just needed help, some one to lend an ear and maybe offer some words of wisdom. So let me tell you why I am here......	caprilyeous	5	600	Mar 21, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	First Time Here... (Preview) This is my first time here. Here is my back story...I'm married and the mother of a seven year old. My husband is an alcoholic and drug addict. Her is an equal opportunity drug user...whatever he can get! In January, he decided he wanted to "to get off the hard stuff" and sought out Xanax, whic...	Momof1	5	658	Mar 21, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Adult Protective Services for sibling in another state? (Preview) I have had limited contact with my alcoholic sibling and my mother for a number of years. I needed boundaries to protect myself from the effects of his drinking (violence) and her enabling. In the course of 6 months, she has been admitted to a nursing home - quite elderly and with dementia. I am her POA...	lastonestanding	4	462	Mar 21, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Courage to Change Reading 3-21 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 21 focuses on listening to the still small voice within and then acting upon what we hear It points out that we cannot see around blind corners and that if we simply ask for guidance, listen and act we will be directed in the right path. The reading goes on to suggest that we m...	hotrod	1	598	Mar 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	Feeling stronger (Preview) I am feeling stronger day by day and the decision to leave the ABF is becoming clearer. Yesterday, he just completed a week drunk. What a nightmare but I did my best to not engage in an argument with him and instead left the room to not be effected by his active drinking. He has gotten himself into trouble....	joker	1	597	Mar 20, 2016 by a4l
	Courage to Change Reading 3-20-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 20 speaks about the fourth Step Guide:"Blueprint for Progress" . It points out that this book focuses on defining our self-worth while we are taking a searching and fearless moral inventory. Many times we will find that we have judged our value on the basis of our...	hotrod	1	584	Mar 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	I did it!!!! (Preview) I am now a Board Certified Registered Nurse! Yesterday I passed and have accomplished the biggest goal I had set for myself since leaving my exAH and heading out into this big world without needing to rely on a man! I have broken so many family cycles and the dysfunction just keeps sloughing off. I truly...	Breakingfree	16	774	Mar 20, 2016 by andromeda
	Let's List Some Daily Gratitude (Preview) Sometimes I forget to be grateful. I thought it might be nice to start a thread For what we are grateful for today. I'm grateful for my job. I don't always like it but it's income does allow me to live fairly comfortable with my children. I'm grateful that my children are healthy. I'm grateful fo...	kspec85	13	680	Mar 20, 2016 by Gardening
	trying not to stress (Preview) Its my daughters 3rd birthday tomorrow and we are having a small party for her. She loves frozen so there's a bunch of frozen themed stuff and ill make her cake in a letter a and stick some little dolls on it. I've finished stuffing the pinata with lollies and chocolate eggs. But here's the thing. Her dayc...	a4l	14	749	Mar 20, 2016 by hotrod
	learned something today. (Preview) I was tempted to go buy a perfect cake yesterday and I'm so glad I didn't. Today my lovely neighbour came with some of her brood for daughters birthday but not before popping in earlier to see if there was anything I needed from the shops. She was on her way to get daughter a present though I had said honestl...	a4l	3	469	Mar 20, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change Reading 3-19 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 19 speaks about our compulsion to focus on other people. When we first enter Al-Anon and examine our motives we discovered that many of us have the idea that we are the experts on how everyone else should behave and feel self-righteous when they don't follow our rules of condu...	hotrod	3	518	Mar 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Out of the mouth of babes (Preview) Hello everyone! I have been reading, not responding much. I have been going to f2f meetings more, still difficult with them being an hour away, but always, always so glad that I go when I get there :) Nothing much has changed in my life. Active AH. 3 teenagers, each showing their own signs of this awful f...	Fairlee	4	621	Mar 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	I had an Interesting Revelation Today (Preview) I have not attended any F2F meetings. I'm scared. I feel embarrassed. Plus my A is attending AA and NA meetings and Al Anon is held at the same places his meetings are and the whole thing feels awkward and crazy for me. How quick I have been to be like, Get your butt to a meeting, don't tell me your trying when...	kspec85	10	684	Mar 19, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Step 5 (Preview) Step 5 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in at the following "addy" and share your thoughts...	hotrod	2	382	Mar 19, 2016 by KathRN
	Honesty and reality (Preview) Had a great meeting today, subject was honesty and then many shared it was Being honest about their reality. No longer in denial And willing to look within And be honest. That is the beauty of alanon you can see your honesty when you are ready to do so. Many come wanting answers to their problems. It ta...	Mirandac	3	667	Mar 19, 2016 by hotrod
	Avoiding Chaos (Preview) Spoke to AH on Skype from rehab tonight. He had told me to expect a call from his therapist a couple of weeks ago. I let him know tonight no one had called. He reiterated they would want me to participate at some point. I agreed. He said we could Skype because it wouldn't work with our daughter ther...	sunmustshine	10	733	Mar 19, 2016 by Mirandac
	feeling sad but hopeful today (Preview) I have not been on this site for quite a long time but find it necessary today to ask for support. For those of you that remember me I have a son who is in recovery for going on 5 years now. For that I am extremely grateful. I have a younger son who is in the military and lives with his wife and 2 children. I am visi...	Gailsy	3	524	Mar 18, 2016 by Fairlee
	Brother's 50th (Preview) Hello. I've attended several meetings thanks to a friend who told me about Al-Anon. I do have difficulty in opening up probably because I come from a family of alcoholics and I'm still learning about boundaries. It feels good having them in my life as I have noticed the effect it has had on my adult ch...	Delta40	6	489	Mar 18, 2016 by Delta40
	Courage to Chance (C2C) - 3/18/16 (Preview) Good morning MIP family! Today's daily reading discusses our 8th Tradition - which states taht our 12 Step work should remain nonprofessional. This is further and simply explained that as Al-Anon members, our ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope) is more than enough to help others recover from...	Iamhere	1	475	Mar 18, 2016 by hotrod
	Husband Lying about smoking! (Preview) Hello, I have never done anything like this before but I am hoping this will help me! I was recently married last March 2015. I was able to help my husband quit smoking. I thought he was still a non smoker, I had my doubts and asked him multiple times to fess up if he started up again. He always had an excuse or...	Wife321	7	778	Mar 17, 2016 by Bettina2
	Week 1/ First meeting (Preview) So I have been to one meeting and have now been doing reasearch which is how I came across this forum. I actually think that 1 meeting (so far) helped me this week.My spouse is a binge drinking alcoholic I guess. There are many times when we can get together with family or friends and he has a few and is fine....	Jennyp	1	486	Mar 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/17/16 (Preview) Today's reading from Courage to Change asks us to reflect on "This Too Shall Pass". The reading discusses how no problem lasts forever and no matter how permanently fixed it appears today, it will pass - even the pain. We all face difficult situations and often times those situations b...	Iamhere	1	655	Mar 17, 2016 by hotrod
	First Post/Vent (Preview) I have been relying on this board for support and wisdom for the last couple of months. The stories and shares have been so helpful. I can't get to FTF meetings because long hours at the office already cut into the time I need for my young daughter who struggles with her dad/my AH being away in rehab. Mo...	sunmustshine	3	467	Mar 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	GRATEFUL (Preview) i read the posts on this board every day 2xs a day. After reading some more of the painful episodes our fellow members have been going through, I realize how grateful i am. Im grateful with my hp f2f and all of you here, that im doing ok. I wake up every morning after a good night sleep[mostly],dont have to b...	YARNCRAZY	3	380	Mar 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope (Preview) Hello all, I joined recently and posted a thread introducing myself. I'm engaged to an alcoholic and shortly after I joined this forum we had a large fight. I got off of work early and went to his work to see him. He was sitting in his truck at work drinking, he works at a place where we both are also keep s...	Gardening	5	478	Mar 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Whats going on? (Preview) My A is out of rehab (out on 12th March) . I am slowly detaching. I gave him my attention for these few days. Now, I am back to working my first full day in office. Usually, when I come home, he is just like a kid but dull. Forcing me to take him out and so on. But from 2-3 days, he is sleeping heavily and at odd hour...	manas	6	557	Mar 16, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Feeding into my a sisters drama/ chaos (Preview) Yes I haven't been able so to grab any alanon tools up to deal with my a sis,I ended up leavening my home for the day to get my balance back and to take some deep breaths before I exploded on her which I didn't but I did feed all up into her mess with blaming me for everything i.e,I'm stealing from her,I'm snoop...	lookingup	5	585	Mar 16, 2016 by lookingup
	First time I've asked these questions, not sure what to do. (Preview) My husband and I have been married for almost 27 years. We have 3 children in their 20s who are grown and out of the house. My husband has always been a heavier drinker than I am. I am not a teetotaler by any means, but hardly ever get buzzed and can count on one hand (with leftover fingers) how many times I...	acook	4	534	Mar 16, 2016 by milkwood
	short share (Preview) Sometimes i wonde if watching out for myself backfires. I quit my 2nd job in a month yesterday. It was a stinky job,really low but i reasoned that a job was a job. it was selling over the phone fake male enhancement pills to old men. it was an easy bus ride to the office but Im not a liar so it was hard to sell fal...	YARNCRAZY	8	498	Mar 16, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	My A's out of Rehab (not voluntary rehab). Deploying my Al Anon arsenal. First day success (Preview) My A is out of forced rehab. I am consciously applying my newly learned Al Anon tools. Challenging, because his behavior is already unpredictable. I am not pushing anything, letting things flow, yet making my point once so that he knows that there are new boundaries. He enjoyed his first hour of freed...	manas	12	641	Mar 16, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Losing My Mind (Preview) I apologize in advance for a long post. My fianc was 10 months clean when all of a sudden he suffered a freak accident and had to go into emergency surgery. I was proud that the whole day leading up to it (we did not yet know he would need surgery) he refused all narcotics and was honest with the staff that he w...	kspec85	11	704	Mar 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 16/3 (Preview) Today's courage to change reading speaks about the pitfalls of having unrealistic expectations of ourselves and our recovery. It suggests that if we develop idealised standards about how we are supposed to be when we are 'recovered" then we are likely to become dissapointed and unhappy. It s...	missmeliss	4	499	Mar 16, 2016 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.