The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone. It's been a long time since I've posted. I'm reaching out because I really feel like I'm in a low place in my life. Quick background on me. I left my AH 2 years ago. I chose to walk away from the home I own because he wouldn't stay gone when I asked him to leave. There's a lot of financial issues mainly on his end. He hasn't been paying the mortgage so the house is in foreclosure once again. We have gone to court and he will agree to sell the house then the next thing I know he won't agree to sell it and tells me he is filing bankruptcy again to try and stall the foreclosure. I'm just angry and sad. Plain and simple. On the other hand I'm happier and proud of myself that I was able to leave a chaotic situation and be on my own with our daughter. Financially I'm doing ok but I have this house looming over my head. I try to focus on the positives but it's hard. I feel like a failure sometimes. I chose to leave the home for my own sanity. I went to a meeting yesterday and it was helpful. We go back to court in May. It's just taking too long to end this marriage. We don't agree on the house or child visitation. I'm trying hard to like a new job I've had for a year now but sometimes it's really tough. Well thanks for listening. I need to get the support of people who understand. I am trying not to beat myself up for ignoring red flags before I married my AH and then being ignorant by adding his name to my home I owned way before marrying him. Any kind words appreciated. Thanks
I am so glad to see you back, i was wondering how you
Were. We are all in this together. Face to face does help
Getting your thinking and head on straight. I could not
Have gone forward without it.
I still have a joint mtg, it scares me. I pray he can get
A Refi to get my name off and pay me the rest. I do not
Want to tangle with my ex again. He has two years.
Heya, good to hear from you but sorry the divorce is dragging out like this.
Glad to hear you're standing strong regardless.
(((NLG)))
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
You are taking on all the responsibility, taking care of you and your daughter, and the chaos in your life sounds like it's coming from his active alcoholism.
I agree with Michael. You definitely sound far from a failure to me, though I think most if not all of us understand the sentiment and do or have shared it at some point.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. Hang in there.
Welcome back Newlife Girl! I agree too - you're working it - that's not failing in my view of the world!
Keep coming back - we're just a post away!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hey there, welcome back, nice to see your little chihuahua again, and hear from you! If all of us had not ignored red flags before we did major life decisions, there would be very few people on this board! We're pretty much all in that same boat from one time or another, the important thing is that we learn from our mistakes. I know I don't ignore red flags anymore, or just brush them under the carpet!
sounds like you are doing well. Waiting is hard, especially waiting for things like mortgages and houses to get resolved, keep coming back here and to meetings, your outlook should improve quickly
You are amazing!You had the courage to move out of YOUR house with your daughter. You have saved yourself! Hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it? If we knew what we know now when we married them, we might have made a different choice. But we didn't. I say that because I finally moved away from my AH. It has been more than a year and it was the best thing I ever did. I only wish I had done it sooner. He is acting very much like your H. He struggles with everything. I have had to distance myself from him for my own sanity. Some days are better than others but living with chaos is something I never want to do. I go to a lot of f2f meetings. Al-anon has saved my life! Hang in there, we are strong!!
-- Edited by pjwa12726 on Tuesday 15th of March 2016 05:16:15 PM
Have missed you and sorry to hear of this dragging out for you. It sounds like a very testing situation, where it will take heaps of effort not to get pulled in emotionally. I hate it when legal processes drag me back to dark places and would not have the courage without programme support. (Currently undergoing bankruptcy). But you know, yeah we
make mistakes. We make them. And its ok. We're human. Keep coming back.
