The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My A is out of rehab (out on 12th March) . I am slowly detaching. I gave him my attention for these few days. Now, I am back to working my first full day in office.
Usually, when I come home, he is just like a kid but dull. Forcing me to take him out and so on. But from 2-3 days, he is sleeping heavily and at odd hours. Whats going on? I dont check if he is drinking (he is an alcoholic). He told me he has some weed (he was not using weed before rehab). I have no clue what weed does. Why is he sleeping so much. I enjoyed my alone time, but this is odd.
8:15 I reach home, quietly change and nap. He usually does not allow me to nap even for 2 minutes. 9:30 I enjoy my time and try to wake him up for dinner (usual time here in our country). He didnt wake up despite trying 10:30 Didnt wake up despite trying 11:06 Woke after trying again. Says he is v hungry (again, v unusually hungry these days) 11:09 He ate dinner + desserts in like 4 mins 11:13 He goes back to sleep. He never sleeps without calling out to me. I have to put him to sleep usually.
Do I laugh? or what?
I'm following Al Anon to the extent I can. I'm still a newbie though. This post rehab is another experience. Ive read other people's posts on post-rehab behavior. But this is indeed intriguing!
I'm doing fine though. Not much pain today.
-- Edited by manas on Wednesday 16th of March 2016 01:40:19 PM
Many addicts switch substances - from alcohol to drugs, from drugs to alcohol, or add in gambling or what have you. It sounds to me like this is what may have happened - that he is relying on the weed now.
He's obviously not extra functional. The smart thing for him to do would be to develop some sources of support - local AA meetings or whatever is available. Obviously, A's do not always do what is smart. And it is not your role to make him be smart (even if that were possible).
This doesn't sound like much fun for you. I hope you can continue to work on your own detachment and recovery.
I am v happy with my own recovery. Looking back, I think I am making a lot of progress.
However, I like to arm myself with some knowledge about this new thing. I have no idea what weed looks like, what it does and what to expect. Here, in my place, authorities will create trouble and try to demand money if he does something dangerous and if something happens to him. It is not a fair world (3rd world) where I live in right now. It is getting better but corruption is still common.
Wanting to know what is going on is natural and okay...I would talk to the professionals at the rehab ...they have more intimate relationships with the behavioral side of the disease. Good luck. ((((hugs))))
I agree with Jerry, it's good to get facts from professionals.
I couldn't help but notice that in your first post you said the word "forcing", which to me is a red flag. If you are being "forced" to do something, it generally means you are doing it against your better judgment. You will want to trust your own judgment. in fact, one fo the biggest benefits I got from Al Anon was to start trusting my own judgment. Before I figured I must be wrong about just about everything, constantly giving benefits of the doubt. I finally figured out that, in some circumstances that is called compassion, but when dealing with an alcoholic that is part of enabling, making it easy on myself to not have to confront the alcoholic about their actions, worse yet not confronting myself that I am accepting unacceptable behavior. Once I was able to confront myself, I was able to decide whether to confront my A, and things started working again.
