I was tempted to go buy a perfect cake yesterday and I'm so glad I didn't. Today my lovely neighbour came with some of her brood for daughters birthday but not before popping in earlier to see if there was anything I needed from the shops. She was on her way to get daughter a present though I had said honestly presence is the greatest gift. Not because I'm isolated either but just because. We've lived next door for two years. It wasn't a relationship I encouraged at first bexause both our husbands are drinkers and I was that nag of a wife who probably seemed too good to associate which was never my personal truth. It was just safer not to engage. Anyway, one day she and I got talking and it turns out we have some things in common. Mostly a hard upbringing and a desire to not have our children suffer similiarly. Our methods and coping skills differ but there's a desire we both understand. and you know I am constantly humbled by the kindness of this lady. Daughter received many gifts today but the ones which touched me were the dolls my friends daughter gave her from her own collection. She's a girl who looks after her things and keeps it all in place. So I was touched by the thoughtful consideration of this passing along. Its hard to explain but it was meaningful. To me anyway. I don't know if its an age thing or a program thing but lately even though physical time flies by, time itself seems to be a slowly digesting taste sensation where small elements present themselves unabashed. Fireworks in slow motion. Its different. I feel I'm being made to look again at things I thought I knew well and discovering small treasures. Imperfect cakes;easily judged but unknown people; small moments of pure joy like when my autistic child kissed his sister with a huge smile and she kissed him back with unadulterated love. Yeah, life has its moments. I used to think the happy bits were fuel for the hard bits. But now, I think there are just moments which are truth and everything else is details. Going bankrupt, detail. The thousand and twelve bs arguments, details. Tears cried over powerlessness, tears were a detail, powerlessness a truth. I still get scared but as a wise lady once told me, the Eyes of the soul are always wide open. Thank you for holding my hand through the details to help me reach those moments of truth. ((Mip))