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Its my daughters 3rd birthday tomorrow and we are having a small party for her. She loves frozen so there's a bunch of frozen themed stuff and ill make her cake in a letter a and stick some little dolls on it. I've finished stuffing the pinata with lollies and chocolate eggs. But here's the thing. Her daycare closed down last month and it was a casual care center. We live in a semi dodgy mostly non english speaking suburb. She has one friend coming because that's all there is. I feel so bad about not being able to provide her an extended family. I can't help but remember my first family where I had a bunch of girlfriends with same aged kids some of whom remain my dearest friends today some ten years later. I know its kind of ridiculous. But its killing my joy and I needed to write it out here so I can see try let it go. She will have both her parents her brother her sister and her one friend who lives next door. I am not great at making friends these days. Also she is a very clever and well spoken little girl so I'm not sure how to explain it to her. I am thinking of reinforcing the positives. You have all the people who love you most and know you best. I know in the grand scheme of things its probably not a huge deal but I just feel sad that there aren't more loving people connections in our lives at this time. They will never know cousins or aunts or uncles or grandparents because my foo amd fathers foo are heavily affected. They do not yet know the joy of friendships because it doesn't seem possible in our locale.Weve tried playgroups etc and still go. Thanks for listening.
(((Hugs))) - my hope is you've been able to feel a bit better by writing and sharing. I threw my boys lavish parties starting at year one and beyond. They don't remember them and I realize now that it's not about quantity - it's truly about quality. Love your daughter, love your special day with her and love her joy at feeling blessed! Who you are and where you are doesn't change how much you love her and I suspect no explanation will be necessary/required. She's the princess of the day and her joy will be grand - whether there are 25 people or 5-6.
Make it through and see if you can stay in the moment....I will say that with the larger group, I often felt like the special-ness of the day got a bit lost in trying to manage the herd! I was always very grateful when we were on the other side....
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Usually my exes family they had bday parties for
the Nieces and nephews until they were old enough.
I suppose grand parents, uncles,aunts and siblings
We all went. The family is close knit, its has some
Cracks.
My family was close too once upon a time that all
changed. Dysfunction and anger i guess mostly its
sad Really to think about. We are totally fractured
Now.
I bet your daughter will have a wonderful birthday. I think as parents we have the big expectations but it seems to me that children are happy with the small stuff - a cake, some presents, people she loves around her...3 is a wonderful age - I wish I could rewind mine to that age :) Hope everything goes great!
Your daughter will have a great time, running around with her brother, sister, and friend, eating ice cream and cake, busting the pinata, and having alot of fun.
Having lived through the little-kid birthday-party phase, I'd say that one friend plus family is just the right number. In the TV commercials they may show dozens of little kids having a great time, but in reality kids that age are too small to regulate their emotions at something exciting like a birthday party, and when there are multiple kids there will be someone crying, someone screaming for her mother, someone trying to put her hand in the cake, someone hiding under the table ... it is chaos and not the calm & happy party of the commercials! It does sound as if you want more neighborhood connections and those can come with time. When you little girl goes to school she will make friends there and they can be invited for birthdays. And it sounds like you would value more community connection too, so that's something to look out for. But I bet she will have a wonderful and happy birthday. Happy Mom Day to you too!
It ended up being a good blend. We had our private family time before the neighbours came. I come from an island family and grew up in godzone newzealand, so family usually means like 20 cousins, way too much food and drinking. I've had a hard line on drinking at kids birthdays since I first became a mother 14 years ago. Its not allowed. My neighbours are also from nz, and so it was cool, they have 6 kids, three who came and it was good. But my most precious moment is daughter with her handgloves perched in her birthday chair, requesting her cake. It was intimate and sweet and that could have been the day for me lol. Thankyou all for your support. Ive never shared photos anywhere of my little ones. Its nice to be able to do that too! ((((MIP)))
It looks as if it was a beautiful party for a beautiful girl and a perfectly lovely day!!
(((hugs))) - love the natural smile of a happy child.....she's genuinely thrilled and it shows.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
