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Its to late
(Preview)
It's to late for my family. It might not be for your's. It's been almost a month now. We still can't believe it happened. We didn't expect it. Although It was a shock, it didn't suprise us how it happened, it suprised us that it did happen. He's gone! We will never see him again on earth. Why? W...
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ann
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8
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1082
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Mark. S
(Preview)
I have been missing Mark.S too!! I enjoy his replys.
Come back soon!! Keep smiling
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jj
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2
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668
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THE CRAZINESS IN EARLY SOBRIETY
(Preview)
My ex-husband who I am still very much involved has been going to AA for the past year. I he has been dry a few times has relapses and now been dry for about a week. At the moment he talks utterly crazy things, things that are unbelievable and done really make much sense. Has anyone else experience this or it...
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melanieL
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8
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1203
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Quote for Today
(Preview)
"Do not dare to live without some clear intention toward which your living shall be bent. Mean to be something with all your might." -- Phillip Brooks
[ I really like this one, but I have to remember Easy.....Does It ! ]
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wallsal55
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0
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586
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Choices
(Preview)
READ THIS. LET IT REALLY SINK IN. THEN CHOOSE.
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a natural motivator.
If an e...
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suntansuzie
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7
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870
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Found out more than I thought I could
(Preview)
So most of you know that I have been working on my step 4. Well I got over being mad and delt with all that angered me and began again on the step.
I never thought that I could actually see so much great things in myself. I have never had a problem seeing the couragous and strong people around me and have alwa...
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jj
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3
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706
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Gossip: Setting the record straight
(Preview)
Hello friends,
For me letting go and letting god is a process. I would like to set the record straight on some things that have been typed out in the room to me while others are there that have been hurtful and inaccurate. This is for my recovery. You need not reply or even read this. What I a...
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cdb
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9
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954
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an update
(Preview)
Thanks for all the kind wishes and support everyone has extended to me.
As for my situation, things are still pretty unclear. My wife got home from rehab on Friday. She did not inform me when she would be back, she just appeared. This was a bit stressful as I had my children for the w...
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AlbertaCowboy
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8
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642
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PAPD?
(Preview)
Hi,
I was helping my daughter study and we got to talking. She takes advanced Psycology in school and she had questioned me. I don't know the answer. I told her it was something to either question her teacher about or ask her councilor about.
She was reading about Passive aggressive personality di...
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Jeannie
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10
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1045
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12 Steps
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I'm new to this so I have a question. I have been to 5 f2f meetings and I just heard at the last one that we are supposed to work the 12 steps. To show you how new to this I am, I didn't know you "worked" the steps, I just thought you read them daily, or as the need arose. Ho...
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Pebbles
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8
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1031
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Help with my ex
(Preview)
my husband left me three years ago for another women who he has recently broken up with. He is an alcoholic and made my life hell for 12 years after which he left. Despite this I do and have always loved him deeply.
He is now attending AA and is trying his best to be sober, but it is so so so hard for him. I st...
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melanieL
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6
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884
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Traits of son's mom in son...
(Preview)
My ex-wife had this philosophy: Although she should not have to suffer the indignity of working for a living and thus not have much money, she still should be able to drive a Cadillac car. Scheming was her way of making that come true… always, 24 – 7 scheming. So, my son goes to an accountant and files for b...
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richard
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1
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558
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Gossip
(Preview)
"We aren't perfect....After a while, you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understand...
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bob6502
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4
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699
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abbyal-a question...
(Preview)
abby,
in a very recent post you said, "A lot of a's dont feel they deserve to be loved so push away the people they love the most".
i know this is true, but, could you elaborate on that thought? i am too close to the situation, and am the one being pushed away. i am sure i know the answer somew...
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search41
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10
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1557
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My son...
(Preview)
I am sorry that I have not been posting much lately. I have been going out to my favorite and beautiful State park and riding my trail bike and walking for exercise. With my physical medical condition, I do not have much time to spare for much activity. If I do one thing then I have to give up doing other thin...
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richard
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5
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562
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Acting Controlling
(Preview)
Last night I decided I should control certain aspects of my life thinking it would make my life easier. For example, how my room looks, which is usually messy, and now I have decided to try and control how clean it is. The next thing I was going to control was my school life, meaning how well I did in s...
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Lanchas
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9
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1009
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Letting go, good but long
(Preview)
To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off; it is the realization that I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerles...
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jj
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3
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1259
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Alberta Cowboy
(Preview)
Hello,
I am just wondering how you are doing. Did your situation with your wife resolve itself? I hope things are going well for you. I have been thinking of you. your friend in recovery, cdb :)
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cdb
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4
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662
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Letting Go Without God
(Preview)
"Let go, let God" is often said in Al-Anon. I'm not religious, and don't believe in anything even remotely like God, but I realized something about that saying that lets me get past the G word.
The idea behind "Let go, let God" is that the more I try to control situations myself, and the more I try to ta...
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Joat
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7
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1875
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Welcome back sun!
(Preview)
Morning everyone,
It is amazing how the weather can change the way we feel.
It is another pretty day here in NJ. Its about time after so many weeks of rain or snow and gloom!
It felt so good to open the windows and only wear a sweatshirt to work this morning. If it warms up even more, I will keep the babi...
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Jeannie
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1
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652
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Meeting on VOTE for hugs, etc.??
(Preview)
Is there a general meeting again this Wednesday? And will the discussion and VOTE come up over if we can continue to give hugs, smiles, agrees, etc. during meetings? I got the impression that issue was tabled at the last meeting meaning left for the next meeting to be resolv...
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cdb
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17
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1056
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Newbie with a long vent
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I am new to posting, but have been reading the forum for some time. My husband and I have been married for nearly 24 years. I have just recently asked him for a divorce and feel terribly guilty over the entire situation. I have concluded I no longer love him and do n...
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katie
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6
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802
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Talk with a recovering A (very long)
(Preview)
Hi,
One of the things I enjoy at my job is the old timers I work with. Some of our drivers are older retired men from everything from the military to Wall Street. They all now drive a school bus as a way of making extra cash and keeping themselves busy. They also love to talk and tell stories, and I usually e...
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Jeannie
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3
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897
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Power and Control in relationships
(Preview)
Is there any readings you can recommend on this subject?
this is exactly what is going on in my marriage.
It is even more powerfully important than the booze I think to my husband
My husband has again quit drinking and I really think it is because I started spending nights at the local h...
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megan
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3
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868
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Talk with my husband
(Preview)
Hi,
Not feeling very proud of myself tonight. Boy did I take 100 steps backwards!
I went to have the talk with my husband, it started out well enough, and then spiraled out of control.
I had myself very calm, knew just what to say, and he was sober and at the begining friendly enough, then he just tur...
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Jeannie
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13
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1425
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new friend is newly sober......
(Preview)
Hi i met a man three weeks ago that is 5 months sober. He goes to aa meetings.We are just starting to "date",build a friendship. Is there anything i can do to encourage or help him in his recovery??My moms been in the program 27 years (aa).dads still a drinking alcoholic so i'm not new to any of this. Just...
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chris
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4
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840
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Pushing buttons
(Preview)
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the knowledge to know the difference.
It is my Ah's Birthday and he just got home right lit up, just another day in the life of Stacey!!! Any excuse to go out and it could be absolutly nothing!!!
We...
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jj
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11
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1461
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CHANGING OUR FOCUS
(Preview)
What we dont do is spend alot of time talkign about the alcholic. Instead, we learn to put the focus on ourselves. At first this approach may not seem to make much sense. After all,,it is often easier to recognize the A's problems than our own. Most of us feel certain that if only he or she would stop drinki...
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gardengal
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4
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718
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a tribute
(Preview)
    &nbs...
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dori
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6
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622
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What is the agenda for wednesday's meeting?
(Preview)
Hello again,,,
I really just want to know if there is a general meeting this Wednesday (which I assume there is) , what time it is and what the agenda is. Will there still be a discussion or vote on etiquette at meetings? That is all I want to know. TY cdb
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cdb
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2
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562
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|
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Counceling
(Preview)
Hi,
I have a curiouse streak in me so I had to do a little research today.
I am a little aprehensive about this marriage counciling my husband wants me to go to. First of all, he says he is going to pick the councilor, because he says he doesn't want me turning one against him before we start. He says he wa...
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Jeannie
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5
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920
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BUS MTG AGENDA - APRIL 6/05
(Preview)
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shimo
|
0
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694
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Why They Drink?
(Preview)
There is a post on the AA message board under "Positively Negative" as to why the alcoholic drinks. Also, while you're there--there's another excellent post "Anger".
Just recently attendend an Open AA speaker meeting. The speaker said alcohol was a rocket for him, a feel rea...
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wallsal55
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4
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880
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going through, not around
(Preview)
Hi all,
I recently had a very spiritual experience and lesson with going through my feelings with a friend instead of around and want to share it here.
I have a very dear friend in program with whom I spend a lot of time with. We just "get" each other and have great talks, laughs, etc. Anyhow, last...
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jessi
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5
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691
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me again
(Preview)
Sorry, I haven't posted for awhile. I have to key this quickly as my laptop has been shutting down on me unpredictably. My A was in the hospital with his emphysema in December; then again in January; and again in February. He isn't doing very well w the emphysema--on oxygen--and ca...
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Annie
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5
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805
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New Member in Need of Encouragement
(Preview)
Hello to everyone here -
I am glad to have finally been able to tap into the support and encouragement offered by Al-Anon via a message board. I don't have an Al-Anon group that is close to my home, so I am looking in this area for some guidance, support and encouragement.
I am familiar with the 12 step...
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Mad4stevie
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10
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799
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confused
(Preview)
So I had my dental surgery and made it through it fine. I am very sore as it was pretty invasive and I must say my husband has been home everynight keeping an eye on me. Tonight after work he went out which I had expected and I am fine with, however he brought home a friend and they are currently passed out on my...
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jj
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11
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910
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HUGS for Garden Gal !
(Preview)
YOU DID IT !
I'm so proud of you ! You DID it ...I am so glad this part is done and only sorry to see you must endure one more ordeal
This happened to me to ...007 spewed lie after lie ...I was feeling so scared and desperate ...I needed the support to survive ... I was so...
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fiona123
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3
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546
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|
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away too long
(Preview)
I have not been to a alanon meeting for a few years and I am struggling with issues I am having with a family member. I have not had a relationship with him in almost 10 years and do not want to have a relationship with him but the a in my life has a relationship with him and wants me to have a relati...
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jb
|
2
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540
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|
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Step Board
(Preview)
Hi all - Step Ten is posted on the Step Board. How about some of you sharing how Step Ten works in your life.
We need your support.
Love in Recovery - Dot
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dot
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0
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557
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How involved in recovery?
(Preview)
I'm so confused. My A, husband, is being discharged from his "detox" hospital tomorrow after more thant 2 weeks there. He has an appointment first thing Monday to a "rehab" hospital, where they will decide what kind of program he needs - inpatient, outpatient, partial treatment, what...
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missyg
|
7
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799
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Attention
(Preview)
Hi,
My husbands paycheck goes into our joint checking by direct deposit. I then transfer it to an account in my name only that he has no access to.
His father had spoken to me and said that he worries about the bills, so while he is with them, at least for now, I should take the whole pay, they will give hi...
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Jeannie
|
8
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1143
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|
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getting better and worse
(Preview)
I would really appreciate some experience, strength and hope.
My husband, the a, got his first DUI on Mon night. He was on his way to get a job in a different state 9 hours away. Well, he can't now, cause he has no license. He has to go back to where he got arrested next Wed to appear in c...
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cah
|
10
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1098
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religious references at meetings
(Preview)
It feels wrong to sit through a meeting and hear Happy Easter repeated throughout the meeting. It makes me feel as if AlAnon is aligned with one religion. I know it's not. I want newcomers to know everyone is welcome, including people who do not celebrate Easter.
I can't tell if I'm borrowing distres...
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Jill
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8
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1060
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something I think about....
(Preview)
There's a 8 ounce glass with 4 ounces of water, how do you see it?
1/2 full (hope for tomorrow)
or
1/2 empty (depressed from yesterday)
or
just what you need, no more, no less, but with plenty of room for those rocky moments so you don't spill any! I onl...
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De Anna
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2
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629
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can anyone help in changing name
(Preview)
I've made the mistake in leaving my post board open, so my nickname is known. I've tried to re-register in a new name, but it won't let me. It states that the email address is already in use. Can anyone help me, I know I'll be starting over but I really want the privacy of a new name, with...
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babs
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2
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790
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Attention cdb
(Preview)
I got your message and responded to you from work but don't have your email here, please send me another message with it I really need to talk with you.
Fondly
Hockeydal
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hockeydal
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4
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782
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Alone again
(Preview)
Hello friends,
Haven't been around here in a bit. My life has been put on hold it seems. My husband - I think that is what he is, has basically left us. He came home from treatment for 2 days after lying about when he was getting out and after the 2 days left and moved into his mom...
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hockeydal
|
5
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633
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|
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Just thoughts
(Preview)
I was thinking that when I don't feel good, that is when I get a glimpse of the resentment and anger inside.
Want to call the A and say why don't you come out here and finish the job I payed you to do.When I feel good I would not do that. I would know it is the disease keeping him from doing what he says he will do...
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debilyn
|
8
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641
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|
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The Big Move
(Preview)
Hey everyone
Just a wee update on situation at home. Big changes ahead, future uncertain, but thats OK with me. Our beautiful family home in 'Green Bay' (Yes its as lovely as it sounds) has sold and the new owners cant wait to move in next Friday grrrrrr.
A i...
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Ava
|
3
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834
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My Story / my being sick
(Preview)
Hi, One version of my story is under jfoy's post--if you care to read it.
A month ago, I sat down with a wonderful alanon friend and told her my woman to woman, heart to heart stuff. Let me tell you, I knew that my head had it, but my heart didn't for a long,long time. Then...
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wallsal55
|
3
|
704
|
|
|
|
self-care tools
(Preview)
Self care tools 2 live by
At meeting this morning related to the topic of making decisions and also the mention of serenity prayer as a guide
it is a tremendous tool 4 making decisions and clarifying what is mine and what belongs to someone else,
it helps me a lot. At times, I don’t feel I have the w...
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luv123
|
3
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639
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LEARNING STEP ONE
(Preview)
I haven't posted here in a while. I am doing very good since the last time I posted. My husband is now sober for over 56 days. I have gotten a sponsor. The thing that I am having a problem is control, it is a major problem. I am having a hard time with it. My husband is trying to get more indpendence to get better...
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nycbt
|
3
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776
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|
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want privacy?
(Preview)
Hey to all
I didn't realize that if you don't "LOG OUT", anyone who comes after you can then click onto the web site, & into your posts & personal page. They also would know your nickname because it says it as "LOGGED IN AS.......--"
If you haven't been logging out, change your passwo...
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babs
|
0
|
670
|
|
|
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How Do You Be Nice?
(Preview)
Hey friends...(the few of you whose names i even recognize anymore, plus all the newcomers!)
I am getting a crash course education in "no expectations" the last 2 weeks. but i'm not "responding" all too well. i'm reacting, and very hurt and very angry.
my A husband got his first drun...
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search41
|
15
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914
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alcoholism the family disease
(Preview)
I wanted to say that I am so thankful for this website and for all of your sharings. Like all have known I am seperated from my A and I love him dearly. He is in his very last stage of his disease and living with his parents. My son who loves his dad is visiting over Easter break and my a just...
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joeygirl
|
3
|
749
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Children's visiting their father
(Preview)
Hello, I am new here, and I am looking for some advice. After 15 years, I bit the bullet and separated from my A. a year and a half ago. He jumped right into another relationship with a girl 17years his junior. For the last year or so, he has been kinda calling me up every once in a w...
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freckles
|
6
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1053
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|
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not sure what to do
(Preview)
My husband, an alcoholic, has decided that he needs to leave, and go work in TX (where he is from and is about 8-10 hours away).
When we first discussed it, I got knots in my stomach, because of the uncertainty of it and the fear of change (he has been out of work for 2 years now, and has been pretty consis...
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cah
|
5
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721
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|
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big book? vs companion big book
(Preview)
Hi,
anyone know the difference? I was encouraged to read "The big book" but I also see "The big book, the companion for AA".
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babs
|
2
|
558
|
|
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Literature
(Preview)
I have checked out more books that I reccommend for others to read. If you want to know what books just ask.
Lanchas
|
Lanchas
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2
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511
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