Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

hey all, called my sponser this am and she said that she could see the hate/anger too, but THIS time i was in control of it...(read my post about my attacking brother). i thought about that and i realized... ....after ALL i went through, i may...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

hey everyone i went to bed last night, and basically did a step 1,2,3, on this thing with my "oh so loving brother" you know its funny-- i don't CARE if he wants to love the perp....just don't get in MY face about my wanting to change my name, et al......like i am willing to let him do whatever he wants..he is...

nycbt · nycbt

My husband has been sober for about 6 months. Then I have noticed things that were different. Some of his behavior reminded me of things that he just to be like. The way he would talk. Some of the comments he makes. But I try not to think to much into it. I thought that maybe that the way he is now even though he...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I am going out of town and will not be available to chair the Thursday night meeting. Tradition 3 is scheduled to be discussed that night. Would appreciate if someone could cover this meeting. Thanks!

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Happiness keeps You Sweet,

marmare · marmare

Some people have wonderful 3 day weekends as for me I had drunkenness and drama, crisis at my house. My A called Friday and was on his way home at 8:30pm, around 11 or so I called him, of course he doesn't answer his phone blah blah blah....then at 1:30am he calls to say he is stay...

jeeves · jeeves

I have been lurking for a week or so and had a question for anyone who might be kind enough to respond. My wife is an "A". She was in rehap this spring and went to some AA meetings for a while but we are back to the former person for now, no restraint. I have been refusing to do some activi...

search41 · search41

hi everyone. i haven't posted here in ages, but this past week i have been reading the board. i think i have backed off of coming here because i feel the things i deal with and go thru are so redundant, that i finally just decided to quit repeating myself and just deal with the life i have chosen and...

david62 · david62

Hi everyone, Tomorrow's business meeting has been rescheduled for next Wednesday the 14th. Please try to attend if you are available.

Thanks all! David

megan · megan

http://www4.deltahotels.com/hotels/hotels.php?hotelId=30

lin0606 · lin0606

With several of us experiencing ill health ourselves, or that of loved ones, and with the events down in the Southern US, I think this is a good time to remember that life can be taken from us at any time. I don't know what comes after but I do know that we have this life, and it may be all we get. Do we want to s...

Kim · Kim

Hello roomies: I know that this group is not for advice, but I'm in a weird place and need some help. As you know from previous posts my A and I are currently separated while we both attempt to work through our own issues. We had not seen each other in some time and Saturday night was the first night...

UncleLou · UncleLou

Need some advice. I’m an alcoholic with two solid years of recovery. Wife filed for divorce last summer, just finalized 2 weeks ago. We have 2 kids 14 and 12. Our house had been for sale since last spring, no offers yet (It’s overbuilt for the neighborhood, but when I built it 4 years ago, I had no intent...

cedarpines · cedarpines

Hi everyone, I'm new here, but feel like I can ask for your support & prayers. HP helped me find this group a few weeks ago. I've been isolated from my ftf group this summer because, I have no a/c in the car, am disabled and one illness I have is migraines from the heat.&nb...

bob6502 · bob6502

Dear Friends, I am moving this week (I hope) and my internet will be shut off on Tuesday, September 6th. It won't be turned back on until Saturday, September 10th. Need to get a group conscious on whether I can postpone the business meeting set up for Wednesday. I am the groups bus...

princess433 · princess433

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Karilynn · Karilynn

Hello all! Just wanted to share this with you. We all know the yellow Live Strong bracelets. I wear mine in honor of some relatives who have lost their battle with cancer. I'm also a big biking enthusiast. Having said that, if you have never been to the Lance Armstorong Foundation website, do so: ww...

kimmie · kimmie

Have you ever looked at your family and wondered what planet they came from? And how they are possibly related to you. Well I just came from another family get together, we have a lot of those. I have a big family and we all live near eachother, so we get together for every reason known...

Karilynn · Karilynn

To everyone who replied to my first posting: From the bottom of my heart: THANK YOU! The first weekend we had together went great! He stayed completely sober, and for the first time I wasn't afraid to come home. Piper (the cat) was estatic that Dad was home. Despite the craziness of the weekend at wo...

princess433 · princess433

Confused- My knees start to shake, When your in sight. My mid filles with wonder, My heart with fright/ When will this feeling stop? When did it start? How can I listen to my mind. Without breaking my heat? I'm so confused. What should I do? I can't think of anything, Except you. Should I ignore yuo...

horsemaven · horsemaven

I am new to the online site and I can't figure out--do I need to set up a sigon on for every site? Like if I want to use the 12 step work board, do I need to register there again? Is it that way on all the different sites? Thanks for help and getting me familiar with the way things work.

Powerless · Powerless

I just wanted to check in and let everyone know I am doing okay. I have been having a difficult time dealing with my ten year old son who is severly mentally ill. We celebrated his birthday on Saturday along with the baby who just turned two today. I had to be especially careful not to l...

confused · confused

I have been trying very hard to let go of things that are not my responsibililty to handle however today I find myself in quite a hard place. I carry the medical insurance for our family, as my coverage has always been better than that offered at my A's job. Fortuanately I have always been able to main...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - September 5 The first slogans I heard were "Just for Today" and "One Day at a Time." I thought they applied to other people, not to me. It took Step Three work and faith in my Higher Power to become honest. #####RO...

megan · megan

I am asking for prayers for Isabela. She was in the cardiac intensive care unit earlier in the week. her blood pressure was so high they had to get a special machine to read it, it was off the charts, She could also have had a stroke the doctor said. Her blood pressure was so hi...

mastiff · mastiff

(((((roomies))))) I went to have my biopsy today on my cervix...I was sat down before hand and told the severty of my abnormal pap. I was informed that the level of abnormality is the highest grade... Before i was told that this doesn't mean i have cancer... today i...

jo4 · jo4

hi all.... i am seriously stressed. my husband is in the process of losing his job...don't know when. my mom is showing signs of dementia. my job is starting again and i feel like i don't know what i'm doing. only my second year in this specialty and i feel stressed and inadequat...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I did visit the Beaverton farmer's market Saturday and it was as large as I had been told. it is possible to eat like a king for $1 (salmon jerky) with all the varied produce samples around. It's stone fruit season here and the peaches are wonderful, as are the pluots. Pears are goo...

abbyal · abbyal

When ever I begin to doubt that God is not helping me this brings me back to reality. AS CHILDREN BRING THEIR BROKEN TOYS WITH TEARS FOR US TO FIX I BROUGHT MY BROKEN DREAMS TO GOD BECAUSE HE WAS MY FRIEND BUT INSTEAD OF LEAVING HIM IN PEACE TO WORK ALONE I HUNG AROUND AND TRIED TO HELP WITH W...

Diva · Diva

Today San Antonio is to receive up to 30,000 refugees from New Orleans. I feel sorry for these people, but I admit I am not looking forward to these new residents' arrival. We have all read about the lawlessness in post-hurricane New Orleans: Looting, raping, murdering, fighting, rioting, hijackin...

ednaxray · ednaxray

to all my friends here at mip. my computer blew up last week, and i lost everything..so if you have previously emailed me, and wouldnt mind can you send me a mail with your addy on it..so i can get you back in my book? if anyone has kept the recipie for that pumpkin "stuff" please send it..its gone t...

Butterfly · Butterfly

Hi Friends, As many of you know from listening to me whine in the chat room, I am at a crossroads in my marriage right now. I have been with my A husband nearly 10 years, married for six years. Our marriage has been one of escalating abuse and violence and, thanks to this program, I had finally go...

melissajill · melissajill

IF YOU HAVE READ MY OTHER POSTS, YOU KNOW THAT MY A HAS TAKEN OFF ON ONE OF HIS WEEKEND DRUNKS. I SUSPECTED THAT HE WAS STAYING WITH A CO-WORKER WHO IS LETTING HIM DRINK THERE ALL WEEKEND. A LITTLE WHILE AGO, I PICKED UP THE PHONE AND LOOKED AT THE CALLER ID AND REALIZED THAT HE HAD CALLED ME LAST NIGHT FROM THE...

FoggyMac · FoggyMac

I know we each have to answer the question, "why stay?" for ourselves, but I was just wondering about this topic. We're supposed to detach from the behavior of the alcoholic, but if alcoholic behavior is 95% of what we get from a spouse--what is the point? A future of more of the same...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] As Monday is a US holiday, I may not be online at all that day. The bronchitis is still hangin around and probably will al weekend; must be the early morning chill. I did talk with my mother yesterday, and her meds were indeed mixed up. Trouble is mum is legally blind and some of the pil...

kimmie · kimmie

Wow, this morning I signed on and he had alreay responded. He wrote that he just wanted me to know that he got my email and he wants to sit down and talk about this with me. I did't expect him to even read his mail until Monday. I feel bad that now I can't even make it to church and I dont want...

horsemaven · horsemaven

You know, no matter who much I do for myself, take care of myself and understand the situation, I never seem to beable to shake the sadness I feel for how everything in my life is turning out up to this point. I feel lonely and I feel my hp has let me down. I have lost confidence in h...

crazywoman · crazywoman

we've been married almost 2 years.my A told me last night he does not know what he wants.he wants keep me and laso he wants more pussy at the same time. how can i accept this? he has been sober 4 years. but being in a new country he got new problem which is much worse than alcohol. i love him and he said he love...

sanddie · sanddie

I read this from a daily devotional I have this morning and wanted to share because it applies to everything in our lives, including relationships. "He Purgeth It." Listen: "Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away; and every branch that beareth he purgeth it, that it may br...

RDP2976 · RDP2976

Hi, I need to ask something? Why is it that I want to get my A back for all he has put me through I will try any thing just to hurt him like he hurts me I know its not right to do but I do it any ways. Why I want to stop but everytime he pushes my buttons I just want to get revenge on him and make him feel b...

browneyes · browneyes

Hello all I am in San Jose with my mother. Wednesday, the doctors told my mom that we all needed to get to the hospital cuz my sis was dying. I drove down and now we are just waiting for answers. They don't know how to fix her. She has in infection that won't be treated with antib...

horsemaven · horsemaven

I am an oldbie and a newbie at the same time to Alanon. I havn't been going to meetings for some years now, because I have not lived with an alcoholic for many years. HOwever, not long ago, my adult son returned home (which I was happy about--and still am), but the ...

melissajill · melissajill

I AM REALLY HAVING TROUBLE COPING WITH HOW I AM FEELING TODAY. I HAVE THIS BURNING HOLE IN MY STOMACH. MY A ALWAYS COMES BACK AFTER THE WEEKEND BUT I KEEP TORTURING MYSELF THINKING THAT HE WON'T COME BACK THIS TIME. I KNOW I WILL BE OK EVENTUALLY BUT I DO NOT WANT TO BE APART FROM HIM. WE HAVE HAD THESE LONG CON...

kimmie · kimmie

I emailed our pastor about my "A". I have threatened my "A" many times about going to our pastor about this, and I dont think he ever thought I would. I still have mixed feelings about it. I dont know if it was the right thing to do. I need his help but I know that my "A" will be compl...

melissajill · melissajill

I guess I am a little confused on how to get started with all of this. Should I let my A keep coming back home after every time he takes off on me? How should I treat him when he comes home. Should I anounce my disapproval, Should I ignore him, love him, act like everything is fine? It seems like my husba...

Nell · Nell

Hi. I am new here, but I have been married to an alcoholic for 24 years. It has taken me a long time to get here. Part of the delay was caused by the unfortunate experiences I had at the two face-to-face Al Anon meetings I attended many years ago. They were just lots...

Jersey · Jersey

I don't know what to do, I've never done this online thing so forgive me if this is inappropriate. I met my boyfriend at AA three years ago, him with 7 years of sobriety. He was the last person I would have ever thought would drink again. The nature of the beast. On a cruise in 01/05 he started again and has no...

melissajill · melissajill

This is really hard and tearing me apart right now. My A found a job in a warehouse that he really loves. He has always worked in a restaraunt which is a nightmare for an A. I put his resume out after he came back from rehab and he didn't even know that I did. He got the warehouse job and it has been going really w...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - September 2 When I did my Fourth Step, I was amazed to discover that my stealing a ten-cent comb at age seven was fairly inconsequential. I had carried guilt for this minor infraction for many years. I identified with the concept of an overdeve...

nikkilou · nikkilou

Hi roomies, I have a question for any one with small kids. My kids are 5,3,10mos. My 5,3 year old are always asking where dad is. I always say at school. He is 7mos sober and goes to AA meeting twice a day, some times three. Like before this holiday weekend when w...

kimmie · kimmie

I want to thank all the people who have responded to my last board about becoming independent. It really helped to read those responses, as it usually does. Right now my "A" is having a poker game with his friends in the dining room, and thats fine with me, as long as they all know that if it co...

FoggyMac · FoggyMac

I am 40 today and am so sad I can't stop crying. I have been with this man for 21 years. We never had kids although we tried in our 30s and even underwent fertility treatments, but he didn't stop drinking or using benzodiazapenes (for sleeping) even though his sperm count was low and he said he wante...

marmare · marmare

Ya know, I too do so good and then one thing sets me off. My A worked 4 10's this week to have today off. Why did I even have an expectation that my hot tub would get filled and running, or that corner in the bedroom (his) would get cleaned out, or the ceiling fan that has been sitting in the box sin...

gardengal · gardengal

The image of an avalanche helps me to give the drinking alcoholic in my life the dignity to make his/her own decisions. It is as though his actions are forming a mountain of alcohol-related troubles. A mound of snow cannot indefinately grow taller without tumbling down: neither can the alcoholics mo...

kimmie · kimmie

I hear a lot of you saying that you are completely independent from your "A"'s and I know it would be easier if I were too, but how? I am a house wife and I have one child and another on the way. He makes the money and if he looses his job, we go down with him. I handle the books and I have thoug...

melissajill · melissajill

I live in a small town and there are no alanon meeting near me. I really need help. I don't know what the first step is. I have been with my husband for 11 years. He has been an addict since before I met him, but he was clean for some time when we were married. It has been a constant battle with pain killers, ephe...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Detachment without resentments is so difficult for me. My A was offerred a pending position as a supervisor with a local retail store. The money would have been great. Unfortunately, when they ran a background check his "other than honorable" discharge with the militar...

redtoes · redtoes

The last few years have been to say the least, WILD. My sister who was the epitome of "mom" became addicted to painkillers and alcohol as a result of a surgery. To make a long story short she lost her children (I have custody of one, the other went to live with her father, The baby, my si...

Kim · Kim

Hello roomies: had a rough couple of days slipping in and out of behavior that is familiar for me, but yet I know will get me nowhere. I have not seen my A in 3 weeks since I kicked him out from 1500 miles away when I knew he was high in our house. We have spoken on several occasions, and this pas...

debilyn · debilyn

I always say I don't know how you guys who live with an A can do it. I wish I could. I chose to get my A his medication. pay for it I mean, and i also got his truck registered and title in his name for him. NO strings. He was going to come out this morn and bring a ton of hay, help me fill the dumpster a... >

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	learned a HUGE lesson (Preview) hey all, called my sponser this am and she said that she could see the hate/anger too, but THIS time i was in control of it...(read my post about my attacking brother). i thought about that and i realized... ....after ALL i went through, i may...	rosie light shines	0	505	Sep 7, 2005 by rosie light shines
	decided to turn this over to my HP (Preview) hey everyone i went to bed last night, and basically did a step 1,2,3, on this thing with my "oh so loving brother" you know its funny-- i don't CARE if he wants to love the perp....just don't get in MY face about my wanting to change my name, et al......like i am willing to let him do whatever he wants..he is...	rosie light shines	1	550	Sep 7, 2005 by lin0606
	AGAIN (Preview) My husband has been sober for about 6 months. Then I have noticed things that were different. Some of his behavior reminded me of things that he just to be like. The way he would talk. Some of the comments he makes. But I try not to think to much into it. I thought that maybe that the way he is now even though he...	nycbt	4	527	Sep 7, 2005 by nycbt
	Chair needed 9/8 pm meeting (Preview) I am going out of town and will not be available to chair the Thursday night meeting. Tradition 3 is scheduled to be discussed that night. Would appreciate if someone could cover this meeting. Thanks!	kismetstrand	1	545	Sep 7, 2005 by dadrrb1
	Keep on Keepin' on (Preview) Happiness keeps You Sweet,	Peggy7	3	652	Sep 6, 2005 by Peggy7
	Weekend... (Preview) Some people have wonderful 3 day weekends as for me I had drunkenness and drama, crisis at my house. My A called Friday and was on his way home at 8:30pm, around 11 or so I called him, of course he doesn't answer his phone blah blah blah....then at 1:30am he calls to say he is stay...	marmare	3	526	Sep 6, 2005 by Annie
	Detachment (Preview) I have been lurking for a week or so and had a question for anyone who might be kind enough to respond. My wife is an "A". She was in rehap this spring and went to some AA meetings for a while but we are back to the former person for now, no restraint. I have been refusing to do some activi...	jeeves	5	642	Sep 6, 2005 by abbyal
	In turmoil (Preview) hi everyone. i haven't posted here in ages, but this past week i have been reading the board. i think i have backed off of coming here because i feel the things i deal with and go thru are so redundant, that i finally just decided to quit repeating myself and just deal with the life i have chosen and...	search41	4	570	Sep 6, 2005 by TLC2
	Business Mtg....Postponed (Preview) Hi everyone, Tomorrow's business meeting has been rescheduled for next Wednesday the 14th. Please try to attend if you are available. Thanks all! David	david62	1	492	Sep 6, 2005 by shimo
	Canada trip (Preview) http://www4.deltahotels.com/hotels/hotels.php?hotelId=30	megan	11	652	Sep 6, 2005 by nycbt
	Only One LIfe (Preview) With several of us experiencing ill health ourselves, or that of loved ones, and with the events down in the Southern US, I think this is a good time to remember that life can be taken from us at any time. I don't know what comes after but I do know that we have this life, and it may be all we get. Do we want to s...	lin0606	5	552	Sep 6, 2005 by jessi
	what to do? (Preview) Hello roomies: I know that this group is not for advice, but I'm in a weird place and need some help. As you know from previous posts my A and I are currently separated while we both attempt to work through our own issues. We had not seen each other in some time and Saturday night was the first night...	Kim	5	710	Sep 6, 2005 by jj
	Need advice, my ex may have hit bottom (Preview) Need some advice. I’m an alcoholic with two solid years of recovery. Wife filed for divorce last summer, just finalized 2 weeks ago. We have 2 kids 14 and 12. Our house had been for sale since last spring, no offers yet (It’s overbuilt for the neighborhood, but when I built it 4 years ago, I had no intent...	UncleLou	2	632	Sep 6, 2005 by lin0606
	Overwhelmed (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new here, but feel like I can ask for your support & prayers. HP helped me find this group a few weeks ago. I've been isolated from my ftf group this summer because, I have no a/c in the car, am disabled and one illness I have is migraines from the heat.&nb...	cedarpines	6	784	Sep 5, 2005 by cedarpines
	Moving Day (Preview) Dear Friends, I am moving this week (I hope) and my internet will be shut off on Tuesday, September 6th. It won't be turned back on until Saturday, September 10th. Need to get a group conscious on whether I can postpone the business meeting set up for Wednesday. I am the groups bus...	bob6502	3	578	Sep 5, 2005 by Dolphin123
	This is a really good story!! (Preview) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------	princess433	6	633	Sep 5, 2005 by Karilynn
	Live strong. (Preview) Hello all! Just wanted to share this with you. We all know the yellow Live Strong bracelets. I wear mine in honor of some relatives who have lost their battle with cancer. I'm also a big biking enthusiast. Having said that, if you have never been to the Lance Armstorong Foundation website, do so: ww...	Karilynn	0	580	Sep 5, 2005 by Karilynn
	Who are these people? (Preview) Have you ever looked at your family and wondered what planet they came from? And how they are possibly related to you. Well I just came from another family get together, we have a lot of those. I have a big family and we all live near eachother, so we get together for every reason known...	kimmie	3	613	Sep 5, 2005 by TLC2
	Thanks from the newbie! (Preview) To everyone who replied to my first posting: From the bottom of my heart: THANK YOU! The first weekend we had together went great! He stayed completely sober, and for the first time I wasn't afraid to come home. Piper (the cat) was estatic that Dad was home. Despite the craziness of the weekend at wo...	Karilynn	0	499	Sep 5, 2005 by Karilynn
	Do you like this poem???? (Preview) Confused- My knees start to shake, When your in sight. My mid filles with wonder, My heart with fright/ When will this feeling stop? When did it start? How can I listen to my mind. Without breaking my heat? I'm so confused. What should I do? I can't think of anything, Except you. Should I ignore yuo...	princess433	2	535	Sep 5, 2005 by nikkilou
	How do I work this thing (Preview) I am new to the online site and I can't figure out--do I need to set up a sigon on for every site? Like if I want to use the 12 step work board, do I need to register there again? Is it that way on all the different sites? Thanks for help and getting me familiar with the way things work.	horsemaven	1	586	Sep 5, 2005 by nikkilou
	Checking In (Preview) I just wanted to check in and let everyone know I am doing okay. I have been having a difficult time dealing with my ten year old son who is severly mentally ill. We celebrated his birthday on Saturday along with the baby who just turned two today. I had to be especially careful not to l...	Powerless	1	546	Sep 5, 2005 by nikkilou
	is it my job? (Preview) I have been trying very hard to let go of things that are not my responsibililty to handle however today I find myself in quite a hard place. I carry the medical insurance for our family, as my coverage has always been better than that offered at my A's job. Fortuanately I have always been able to main...	confused	5	569	Sep 5, 2005 by confused
	learning to live ONE day at a time (Preview) Hope for Today - September 5 The first slogans I heard were "Just for Today" and "One Day at a Time." I thought they applied to other people, not to me. It took Step Three work and faith in my Higher Power to become honest. #####RO...	rosie light shines	0	526	Sep 5, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Prayer request for Isabela (Preview) I am asking for prayers for Isabela. She was in the cardiac intensive care unit earlier in the week. her blood pressure was so high they had to get a special machine to read it, it was off the charts, She could also have had a stroke the doctor said. Her blood pressure was so hi...	megan	14	822	Sep 5, 2005 by DanaAngel
	Biopsy didn't go well- prayers needed please (Preview) (((((roomies))))) I went to have my biopsy today on my cervix...I was sat down before hand and told the severty of my abnormal pap. I was informed that the level of abnormality is the highest grade... Before i was told that this doesn't mean i have cancer... today i...	mastiff	27	1087	Sep 5, 2005 by mastiff
	sad (Preview) hi all.... i am seriously stressed. my husband is in the process of losing his job...don't know when. my mom is showing signs of dementia. my job is starting again and i feel like i don't know what i'm doing. only my second year in this specialty and i feel stressed and inadequat...	jo4	3	652	Sep 5, 2005 by nmike
	haxigonian XVII (Preview) [[ room ]] I did visit the Beaverton farmer's market Saturday and it was as large as I had been told. it is possible to eat like a king for $1 (salmon jerky) with all the varied produce samples around. It's stone fruit season here and the peaches are wonderful, as are the pluots. Pears are goo...	haximon	3	619	Sep 5, 2005 by megan
	my favorite prayer (Preview) When ever I begin to doubt that God is not helping me this brings me back to reality. AS CHILDREN BRING THEIR BROKEN TOYS WITH TEARS FOR US TO FIX I BROUGHT MY BROKEN DREAMS TO GOD BECAUSE HE WAS MY FRIEND BUT INSTEAD OF LEAVING HIM IN PEACE TO WORK ALONE I HUNG AROUND AND TRIED TO HELP WITH W...	abbyal	3	732	Sep 4, 2005 by tea2
	Katrina "refugees" (Preview) Today San Antonio is to receive up to 30,000 refugees from New Orleans. I feel sorry for these people, but I admit I am not looking forward to these new residents' arrival. We have all read about the lawlessness in post-hurricane New Orleans: Looting, raping, murdering, fighting, rioting, hijackin...	Diva	6	988	Sep 4, 2005 by Flora123
	friends (Preview) to all my friends here at mip. my computer blew up last week, and i lost everything..so if you have previously emailed me, and wouldnt mind can you send me a mail with your addy on it..so i can get you back in my book? if anyone has kept the recipie for that pumpkin "stuff" please send it..its gone t...	ednaxray	5	646	Sep 4, 2005 by Flora123
	Praying for a Sign (Preview) Hi Friends, As many of you know from listening to me whine in the chat room, I am at a crossroads in my marriage right now. I have been with my A husband nearly 10 years, married for six years. Our marriage has been one of escalating abuse and violence and, thanks to this program, I had finally go...	Butterfly	4	606	Sep 4, 2005 by Flora123
	WHAT SHOULD I DO? (Preview) IF YOU HAVE READ MY OTHER POSTS, YOU KNOW THAT MY A HAS TAKEN OFF ON ONE OF HIS WEEKEND DRUNKS. I SUSPECTED THAT HE WAS STAYING WITH A CO-WORKER WHO IS LETTING HIM DRINK THERE ALL WEEKEND. A LITTLE WHILE AGO, I PICKED UP THE PHONE AND LOOKED AT THE CALLER ID AND REALIZED THAT HE HAD CALLED ME LAST NIGHT FROM THE...	melissajill	7	687	Sep 4, 2005 by Flora123
	Why stay with a practicing alcoholic? (Preview) I know we each have to answer the question, "why stay?" for ourselves, but I was just wondering about this topic. We're supposed to detach from the behavior of the alcoholic, but if alcoholic behavior is 95% of what we get from a spouse--what is the point? A future of more of the same...	FoggyMac	13	1449	Sep 4, 2005 by Flora123
	haxigonian XVI/WACO (Preview) [[ room ]] *As Monday is a US holiday, I may not be online at all that day.* The bronchitis is still hangin around and probably will al weekend; must be the early morning chill. I did talk with my mother yesterday, and her meds were indeed mixed up. Trouble is mum is legally blind and some of the pil...	haximon	4	691	Sep 4, 2005 by afglin
	My pastor responded... (Preview) Wow, this morning I signed on and he had alreay responded. He wrote that he just wanted me to know that he got my email and he wants to sit down and talk about this with me. I did't expect him to even read his mail until Monday. I feel bad that now I can't even make it to church and I dont want...	kimmie	3	561	Sep 4, 2005 by Diva
	Can't get off my pitty pot (Preview) You know, no matter who much I do for myself, take care of myself and understand the situation, I never seem to beable to shake the sadness I feel for how everything in my life is turning out up to this point. I feel lonely and I feel my hp has let me down. I have lost confidence in h...	horsemaven	4	608	Sep 4, 2005 by mom to 2
	i am leaving (Preview) we've been married almost 2 years.my A told me last night he does not know what he wants.he wants keep me and laso he wants more pussy at the same time. how can i accept this? he has been sober 4 years. but being in a new country he got new problem which is much worse than alcohol. i love him and he said he love...	crazywoman	7	774	Sep 4, 2005 by FoggyMac
	The Pruning Process.... (Preview) I read this from a daily devotional I have this morning and wanted to share because it applies to everything in our lives, including relationships. "He Purgeth It." Listen: "Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away; and every branch that beareth he purgeth it, that it may br...	sanddie	0	659	Sep 4, 2005 by sanddie
	Hi I need to ask something (Preview) Hi, I need to ask something? Why is it that I want to get my A back for all he has put me through I will try any thing just to hurt him like he hurts me I know its not right to do but I do it any ways. Why I want to stop but everytime he pushes my buttons I just want to get revenge on him and make him feel b...	RDP2976	4	651	Sep 3, 2005 by Annie
	Hp telling me something? (Preview) Hello all I am in San Jose with my mother. Wednesday, the doctors told my mom that we all needed to get to the hospital cuz my sis was dying. I drove down and now we are just waiting for answers. They don't know how to fix her. She has in infection that won't be treated with antib...	browneyes	5	797	Sep 3, 2005 by lin0606
	It can come back to roost (Preview) I am an oldbie and a newbie at the same time to Alanon. I havn't been going to meetings for some years now, because I have not lived with an alcoholic for many years. HOwever, not long ago, my adult son returned home (which I was happy about--and still am), but the ...	horsemaven	2	731	Sep 3, 2005 by whitie
	NOT COPING WELL (Preview) I AM REALLY HAVING TROUBLE COPING WITH HOW I AM FEELING TODAY. I HAVE THIS BURNING HOLE IN MY STOMACH. MY A ALWAYS COMES BACK AFTER THE WEEKEND BUT I KEEP TORTURING MYSELF THINKING THAT HE WON'T COME BACK THIS TIME. I KNOW I WILL BE OK EVENTUALLY BUT I DO NOT WANT TO BE APART FROM HIM. WE HAVE HAD THESE LONG CON...	melissajill	2	591	Sep 3, 2005 by Annie
	I did it... (Preview) I emailed our pastor about my "A". I have threatened my "A" many times about going to our pastor about this, and I dont think he ever thought I would. I still have mixed feelings about it. I dont know if it was the right thing to do. I need his help but I know that my "A" will be compl...	kimmie	4	570	Sep 3, 2005 by rosie light shines
	confused about first step (Preview) I guess I am a little confused on how to get started with all of this. Should I let my A keep coming back home after every time he takes off on me? How should I treat him when he comes home. Should I anounce my disapproval, Should I ignore him, love him, act like everything is fine? It seems like my husba...	melissajill	5	791	Sep 3, 2005 by tea2
	New here (Preview) Hi. I am new here, but I have been married to an alcoholic for 24 years. It has taken me a long time to get here. Part of the delay was caused by the unfortunate experiences I had at the two face-to-face Al Anon meetings I attended many years ago. They were just lots...	Nell	7	594	Sep 3, 2005 by Butterfly
	Newbie, crying for help!!!! (Preview) I don't know what to do, I've never done this online thing so forgive me if this is inappropriate. I met my boyfriend at AA three years ago, him with 7 years of sobriety. He was the last person I would have ever thought would drink again. The nature of the beast. On a cruise in 01/05 he started again and has no...	Jersey	8	801	Sep 3, 2005 by Jersey
	ISSUES WITH JOB (Preview) This is really hard and tearing me apart right now. My A found a job in a warehouse that he really loves. He has always worked in a restaraunt which is a nightmare for an A. I put his resume out after he came back from rehab and he didn't even know that I did. He got the warehouse job and it has been going really w...	melissajill	1	584	Sep 3, 2005 by agatha
	driving myself NUTS tryin to be perfect (Preview) Hope for Today - September 2 When I did my Fourth Step, I was amazed to discover that my stealing a ten-cent comb at age seven was fairly inconsequential. I had carried guilt for this minor infraction for many years. I identified with the concept of an overdeve...	rosie light shines	3	650	Sep 3, 2005 by toto12
	help for my kids (Preview) Hi roomies, I have a question for any one with small kids. My kids are 5,3,10mos. My 5,3 year old are always asking where dad is. I always say at school. He is 7mos sober and goes to AA meeting twice a day, some times three. Like before this holiday weekend when w...	nikkilou	5	565	Sep 3, 2005 by Dolphin123
	thank you... (Preview) I want to thank all the people who have responded to my last board about becoming independent. It really helped to read those responses, as it usually does. Right now my "A" is having a poker game with his friends in the dining room, and thats fine with me, as long as they all know that if it co...	kimmie	1	542	Sep 3, 2005 by Dolphin123
	I'm 40 today and miserable (long ramble) (Preview) I am 40 today and am so sad I can't stop crying. I have been with this man for 21 years. We never had kids although we tried in our 30s and even underwent fertility treatments, but he didn't stop drinking or using benzodiazapenes (for sleeping) even though his sperm count was low and he said he wante...	FoggyMac	12	795	Sep 3, 2005 by FoggyMac
	Slip too! (Preview) Ya know, I too do so good and then one thing sets me off. My A worked 4 10's this week to have today off. Why did I even have an expectation that my hot tub would get filled and running, or that corner in the bedroom (his) would get cleaned out, or the ceiling fan that has been sitting in the box sin...	marmare	3	486	Sep 3, 2005 by Dolphin123
	AVALANCHE (Preview) The image of an avalanche helps me to give the drinking alcoholic in my life the dignity to make his/her own decisions. It is as though his actions are forming a mountain of alcohol-related troubles. A mound of snow cannot indefinately grow taller without tumbling down: neither can the alcoholics mo...	gardengal	2	641	Sep 3, 2005 by agatha
	becoming independent (Preview) I hear a lot of you saying that you are completely independent from your "A"'s and I know it would be easier if I were too, but how? I am a house wife and I have one child and another on the way. He makes the money and if he looses his job, we go down with him. I handle the books and I have thoug...	kimmie	4	564	Sep 3, 2005 by rosie light shines
	another newbie- help please (Preview) I live in a small town and there are no alanon meeting near me. I really need help. I don't know what the first step is. I have been with my husband for 11 years. He has been an addict since before I met him, but he was clean for some time when we were married. It has been a constant battle with pain killers, ephe...	melissajill	3	659	Sep 2, 2005 by kimmie
	Detaching with out resentment (Preview) Detachment without resentments is so difficult for me. My A was offerred a pending position as a supervisor with a local retail store. The money would have been great. Unfortunately, when they ran a background check his "other than honorable" discharge with the militar...	twinmom2	3	741	Sep 2, 2005 by Annie
	New and in need of help (Preview) The last few years have been to say the least, WILD. My sister who was the epitome of "mom" became addicted to painkillers and alcohol as a result of a surgery. To make a long story short she lost her children (I have custody of one, the other went to live with her father, The baby, my si...	redtoes	6	762	Sep 2, 2005 by redtoes
	slipping (Preview) Hello roomies: had a rough couple of days slipping in and out of behavior that is familiar for me, but yet I know will get me nowhere. I have not seen my A in 3 weeks since I kicked him out from 1500 miles away when I knew he was high in our house. We have spoken on several occasions, and this pas...	Kim	1	624	Sep 2, 2005 by marmare
	just a typical situation (Preview) I always say I don't know how you guys who live with an A can do it. I wish I could. I chose to get my A his medication. pay for it I mean, and i also got his truck registered and title in his name for him. NO strings. He was going to come out this morn and bring a ton of hay, help me fill the dumpster a... >	debilyn	4	712	Sep 2, 2005 by marmare
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.