lol, I know many people won't read this becuz I have answered it
so many times!!

Thank you for asking cuz it reminds me how come too!

For one thing I believe marriage is a gift from my hp. Becuz of staying
married i have learned thru so much hell the kind of person i am.

I have seen my stamina, my commitment, my tenacity to not allow
an insane disease take away my husband.

In all these years of work, and learning alanon skills, I have been blessed with many
tender wonderful times with my A that i will treasure always. it makes the hard times
when the disease raises its ugliness, worthwhile to work to detach from it.

I have almost gotten a divorce many times, then remembe if do i cannot be around
him anymore. I believe as the Bible says, we are only free by death or adultery.
and I don't believe in being with any man when i am single.

My desire is to stay married and enjoy it for what it is. I meant my vows. sickness and
in health, i meant it. My A has a horrible disease.

I stay becuz i have loved this man 35 years. Have seen us both change and grow. I
know the horrible abuse he went thru. I know the totally disfunctional family he
has. Sometimes we are more just friends, been times we were lovers, we
mean everything to each other, though he shows his in different ways and of course
an A's love is distorted and I have had to face, he may still love me, but he cannot be here for me, or support me in any way.

i do have to say, he is there if i have an animal down. If it is a human, he cannot
do it. strange eh?

i stay married becuz he is as much a part of me as my arm. MY arm might get infected
off and on and be very painful, but i would not cut it off.

He did not choose to be sick like this. Since i have become so strong in my alanon skills
and still learning all the time, he and i do so much better. he knows he does not have
to hide anything from me. He knows i don't want anything to do with his disease. i
can not control it in any way, so it is not my problem.

He had several years of sobriety on a strong program and was very involved in AA. We got
married and two months later a tumor was found in his brain. He had a medical resapse
and is brain damaged from that and from his drug use.

I have had him out here and he was clean for a month or more, but if he can get to
town, he will go get a fifth of alcohol and off he goes again.

Anyway it is his business, not mine. I take care of me. I do what i choose to do for
him. I get dissappointed sometimes, but he also has mpd and that can be unnerving.

i never know which person he is going to be. There is this one kid he is that is so
needy and i hate it. i won't talk to him. The one bad drunk I call Tom. that was his dad.

He is awful. i know when he is him. In fact last time he was here he says it is me, really
me....so he gets it.

Anyway, I stay for a lot of reasons, but it was hp, that is what makes me stay the most.
Says in the Bible God hates divorce. That is enough for me. I am a JW and really
go by the Bible.

love,debilyn