The material presented
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I went to have my biopsy today on my cervix...I was sat down before hand and told the severty of my abnormal pap. I was informed that the level of abnormality is the highest grade... Before i was told that this doesn't mean i have cancer... today i was told if it's not cancer already, it's probably very close to turning into cancer. He mentioned that he normally finds about 2 spots that he has to take a sample of, and told me what they normally look like ect. Once he finally did the biopsy, he found 4 spots that concerned him, one in particular he is worried about the most. The other 3 were not good and not common to see either, but we will find out on all of them exactly what they are when the results come back. He went out of the room and i could hear him talking to anthor man, saying how he's never seen that many spots before, and talking about the level being one of the highest he'd seen, but that he got a really good sample on all of them. Pretty scared right now, and soar, but trying really hard to hand it over and leave it there.
I was there by myself in the room, but not alone; hp was with me the whole time holding my hand, and the thought of all your warm wishes were fresh in my mind and warmed my heart. I heard a song on the way home that brought things into perspective, the lyrics were "i'm sorry for the thing i made it, when it's all about you god." I took that as a message from above. This isn't about me, this is about me learning to replace "fear" with "trust." And when i can do that, i know my faith grows.
The good news is, no matter what stage it's at, they can get it out. You know what i'm grateful for? This program. It taught me how to take care of myself. If i had stuck to my old ways, i would be writing saying i am dying instead. My husband is in shock, very withdrawn and scared. Wish he could be supportive, but i know it's the disease, the backing away with fear ect. Here again, thank hp for this program for giving me that understanding.
I will get the results in 7-10 and will keep you all posted. Please keep me in your prayers to give me calmness and to give the doctors and myself hp's guidance.
I know this news is hard to swallow. I am glad that you did make the choice to take care of you, and found out now, while there is plenty of time. We all love you, and will keep you in our prayers. Hp will be with you, as will all of us at MIP.
You are in my prayers! It is good that they found it early, but I bet it is still scary, we are all here for you. You have us to lean on, nad the greatest of all your HP.
Much Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Hi trina, I am sad to hear about your situation. I just went thru it a few weeks ago.
You are scared to death I know. Don't allow anyone to negate those feelings with well you don't know for sure yet. You feel what ya do and it is normal to feel it out.
Trina I gave it up after a week or so. I thought about that i was the same person, to take each day as precious as I always did. I realized the sun still comes out, I can still laugh and watch a movie or nap with my cuddly critters.
Life is still there even when we face scarey things.I learned so much about myself and who my true friends were when I was so scared. I finally got to where I knew what my decision would be if I had it. From then on I felt almost normal again.
I really would like to recommend not going alone to any appointments or anything.
The support of another is so important. I also got on a breast cancer support group.
That was helpful too.
I hope you come here lots and vent and share. Wish I could help somehow...
You are in my prayers. I commend you for your positive attitude. It takes a strong person to have that kind of attitude. I was told that you are never dealt things that are too overwhelming until you are ready to deal with them... you attitude shows that is true.
GOOD LUCK AND KEEP ON TAKING GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF!
((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))))) thank you all for all the lovin support. How awesome is that. I posted this last night and look what i woke up too. awesome in deed. I forgot to say that he had mentioned the normal "freezing" or "burning" procedure might not be enough, that i might need a different procedure and i forget the name of it right now of course, go figure. I guess they put this cone shaped thing on your cervix that will basically cuts it out all the way around. Either procedure i need, they have had great sucess. He said often times it does not come back, but in my case since i am at such "high risk" he said it is very possible. After they get it all out, they will check me every 3 months till i have 2 normal paps, then every 6 months, then back to a normal yearly pap. Thank you all for offering such love, I think your right, next time i'll find someone to come with me, it would have been nice to have that support.
Love you all, wish i could just bring all of you lol, trina
Trina - my prayers are definately with you, I was there almost 20 years ago, but I was alone! You can get through this you are a strong person and know how to turn it over to you HP. I was a stupid kid that went out and got drunk everynight because I thought I would never have kids, they told me that because of the treatments and surgeries. Hey, HP was with me obviously if I could carry twins after that and he will be with you too! I am sure things have come a long way in 20 years, so rest easy my friend, we love ya and there is not a damn thing you can do about it!
josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
I too am thinking about you, and I hear your voice of fear/anxiety/worry/and concern. I too have been where you are today, about 10 years ago. My mother as well as my daughter. It seems to be hereditary in my family. My daughter especially affected me as she was diagnosed with cancer in both her uterus and cervix, as she was so young. She was lazered as was myself. She was told if it came back abnormal again, she may have to have an operation and she may not be able to have children. Todays modern technology and early detection by going to yearly exams, my daughter is the one who just gave birth to that 11 pound 2 ounce wonderful grandson of mine! All of us had it taken care of, but it was a fear beyond none that I faced as did my mother and my daughter. I am trying to share this as delicately as I possibley can without going into too many details. So there once again there is always hope! So please take care of yourself at this time, I know exactly how frightening just the word "cancer" can bestow upon people. Take care and thinking of you,,,,,,gardengal
(((((((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))))))))))))) i cant tell you how much all of your support means to me. I thank you all so much for all the love given. You are all so awesome, what an awesome group we have here.
Thinking of you, treatments so much better these days. Dont let those men talk outside your curtains, knowledge is power!!!! Stay strong, try to take a friend with you, feel sure, if you asked, would be someone here near enough to you. Once they take cervix away, you cant get cancer there - fact. So, you have to go back and do check ups, you can do that. You strong, big Mastiff!!!!!
Oh yes, just remembered, when husband had bladder cancer, someone said, write down all your questions, or you might forget when you see doctor. Worked for me. I tend to get excited, anxious, and forget to ask most important points.
I was thinking of you on the 1st, I knew that was your appt day. I just got my internet hooked up yesterday from the move and see your posting now. It nice to see the loving support you have from so many here in family. Lots of love and well wishes, T
What an amazing women you are, this is my first post, reply. I usually come here selfishly just to read and learn, I am pretty new.
But after reading your post I couldn't go on any more without expressing you pure awe at your faith, and strength. Don't know how long you have been in alanon but whatever you got I want it too.
I haven't been to my religion for a while, but I am learning the spirituality of God through this website, and wonderful courageous women like you. I have prayed to the God as a have learn to know him just recently,and I will pray for you as you carry this burden on the path, He has chose for you.
Thankyou for the courage you display to those of us, who need the same. I am speechless.
((((((((Liza))))))))))))) so glad you posted for your first time, what a sweet heart you are. Hopfully i'll see you in the chatroom during a meeting sometime. Your post especially touched my heart, thank you for that. lots of love and weloome home my new friend, trina
