"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

nikkilou · Senior Member

I'm Mad

JillCT · Newbie

That sucks. Can you go for a walk to clear your head? (((Hugs)))

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

When my a stopped smoking he was miserable. So I took care of me and ignored the
bad stuff.

I refuse to walk on eggshells, I mean who the heck are they that we should feel
that way?

I know if I were miserable, I would not want anyone to have to feel that way.

Being a butt is rude period. I would stop it immediately with, A do not talk to me
that way, I am not anyones punching bag.

Stand up for me. Not take any bs.

Or I have said, I love you, I will not allow anyone to talk to me in a rude way.

We teach others how they can treat us. i honestly believe that.

I won't share anything with anyone who is rude

I hope you can turn your anger, which only makes you sick and only shows
the disease is controlling you, into something else.

Know it is hard. could say wow sucks to be crabby. or what ever.

shaking head here. They act like they have this power over us, i mean the disease a.

Only if we let it. It is the wind to me, just a disease.

much love,debilyn

Maria123 · ~*Service Worker*~

Good for you Nik

Get those bad feelings out of you. They only hurt you. This is a safe place to vent. Feel the feelings and then get back up on the horse again "so to speak."

Keep posting

Maria123

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Sobriety is not easy at the best of times but it dosent mean we have to let ourselves be abused either, just because they are having a rough time. Don't take the moods personally it's n ot about you. Remember that you were not the reason he drank in the first place and your not responsible for keeping him sober either, nothing u say or do is powerful enough to make him drink again . the choice will be his.

I told my husb a few times that i was sorry he was having a rough time but that was no reason to take it out on me. told him nicley and often added a hug . your doing the right thing come here and holler saves a big argument . hope uare going to f2f meetings for yourself. and have a good sponsor. good luck Louise

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

Boy, can I relate to this one....

What helped me, was to change MY perspective on things.... Rather than get sucked in to the roller coaster of emotions that my recovering wife was going through (and you are right - it is equally as tough as it was when they were drinking), I changed MY attitude towards all the free time I suddenly had. I learned to embrace and LOVE all the freedom I now had, and started doing a lot more things on my own, and became WAY less dependant upon my wife.

Sometimes, as BOTH of you find recovery and peace, the two of you, as a couple, can grow back together. This didn't happen in my case, and we are now separated, but I DO believe it CAN happen, but it is a long, slow process.

I wish you patience and independance, and the will to spend time with YOU.

Tom

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"