The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Labor Day weekend was pretty bad. We worked on Saturday and when we came home he retired to our darkened bedroom, lay down on the bed and gave in to depression. He accused me of not treating him kindly. He refused to go out with our friends that night unless I promised to treat him better. Since this was all in his mind and not a part of any reality, I ignored him. By the time we had to leave for the restaurant he was still sulking in the room and refusing to go. I left without him.
When I returned 2 hours later he was really really drunk. He could hardly stand. He had obviously been out driving in that condition because the car was parked haphazzardly in the driveway and left no room for me to park.
That night, and every night since, I have been sleeping on the sofa. I didn't tell him why. I didn't mention his drinking. I simply refused to get into bed with him.
This morning he asked how much longer I am going to punish him. I asked him when he is going to get some help. He has agreed to give up drinking, he has agreed to see a therapist. He threw away the bottles.
I don't know if I can trust him. I will have to take a wait and see attitude.
WOW, he threw away the bottles?! Sounds like a good step in the right direction. You are right about taking a wait and see attitude. I think it was great that you went out with your friends without him. It's good for the A to see that your life isn't going to go on hold while he sulks over some imaginary slight. I know with my guy, the suggestion that you were mean to him would have been a way to try to pick a fight and ruin the evening for both of us. Then he'd go ahead and get drunk anyway and blame it on me. Good luck to you, Love TLC
Good for you.. Before Alanon I would never have went out alone or without him.. NOw he was invited to a DRUNKEN Birthday BASH on Saturday night and i said to him let me know if you are planning to go so that I can make plans myself. He was really taken back and said what kind of plans.. My response.. You dont expect me to stay home do you ?? He just walked away.. I think it is good for them to see our lives go on with or without them. Take it one day at a time and expect the worse hope for the best. ( just my opinion ) My a has made that same promise over and over again..
