Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Wife · Wife

Hi All, I'm new to this, so not really sure how it works. But I could really use some guidance and support. I've been married to the man of my dreams for the past 10 years. He's an amazing husband, father and friend. Right after the financial recession of 2008, we started struggling financially, and he s...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I know that it is my own stubbornness and hard-headedness that have made my journey longer and more painful, but I'm grateful now that I've experienced a bit of progress lately since I retired and started attending more meetings and devoting more time to my own recovery - that I was powerless was alway...

Truth · Truth

So I have effectively put even more distance between my ex-A and I by getting a person to do my correspondence for child related issues. I also requested that he get someone on his side. This has been happening for two months now. It has been exactly what I needed. He has tried to go around the arrangement...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 10 continues the discussion on the Steps. Today it reviews the Eight step, which asked that we "make a list of all persons we had harmed The reading goes on to indicate that many of us are stumped by this step because we do not believe we have ever harmed anybody, and becaus...

Debb · Debb

More of the same gets more of the same. What we were given to practice, we practiced. What we practiced, we became. What we became, we are continuing to become - only more so - every day of our lives. We can do ourselves a favor by being aware of what we practice. Has the past taught us to withdraw? Think of h...

mjferg · mjferg

There are a couple of women in one of my classes that don't get along well,I don't know what the underlying issue is ,but you can feel the tension between them when they are in the room.Yesterday there was a big blowup between them.They started arguing and yelling,it was close to getting physical! My he...

Skorpi · Skorpi

My dad was here today. Got his *our! dog. I am struggling, made 5 calls. No one on the other end. doesn|| mean no one is listening

mjferg · mjferg

I have posted quite a bit and I have always tried to focus on positive things,but this has been a very heartbreaking journey for me and I have cried and struggled through it.I can tell that I am finally coming out of this darkness that I have been in.I am able to experience a much broader range of emotions...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Work up this morning feeling excited, confident and healthy...what a great feeling. I went for what maybe my final cat scan yesterday afternoon so that we can get a look at the condition of my brain since the last surgery. I feel great!! and now have to find some thing to use this new energy on. Any...

almostThere · almostThere

So, my recovery is in its infancy, but on the right track. I managed to sneak out to another meeting last night and have been going any of the 4 groups in this area any time I can get away with it. It shows in our home lately. I've managed to avoid conflict and keep, if not a sunny disposition, at least an on...

missmeliss · missmeliss

More nonsense from XAH today. I woke up to messages telling me he expects daughter there for the next 2 weekends as he has "missed out on 3". I don't know what that means as she's been visiting every 2 weeks lately and I also don't think it's right to wake me with messages circa 5am. However I kno...

JukuVee · JukuVee

he said he would quit drinking but he is just telling me what I want to hear. I don't know why I thought he would come through for me this time. I thought being in the mental ward was a slap in the face wake up call but he's just going through the motions. That's all he's ever done. He had a gig at the county fair y...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's HFT reading is about the ability, with the help of program tools and the strength of our HP, to speak our minds directly in a meaningful way. This reading begins with a description of how it was for someone when he/she first came to Alanon. There was a fear about saying w...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

I just wanted to drop a line to those living in small town USA where locating Al-Anon groups can be difficult. Last night AH asked his sponsor about my dilemma in finding an appropriate ff meeting. Naturally the first suggestion wa she one I attended for a while, but did not mesh well with. The sponsor...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

A dear friend of mine that also moved away from our tiny little township told me yesterday that my exAH may be dating a very close old friend of mine that I stopped being friends with before I moved due to I was out of the party scene and raising kids and she continued to party with my husband and hers as well....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling w/ this topic obviously. I don't feel that I am being heard enough. I can't seem to focus my attention on anything else this moment. I thought popularity ended in high school. Am I that offensive or misleading? All I really want is a good life. I am not sure if I am just overreacting? I even s...

almostThere · almostThere

The late, great Stevie Ray Vaughan was recently inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame with his band Double Trouble. SRV suffered for many years with drug and alcohol dependency, and like most creatives, was deeply concerned that letting go of his addiction would result in the loss of his creati...

el-cee · el-cee

Living almost 20 yrs with an alcoholic meant I suppressed many things, I'm sure you can relate. I suppressed emotions like anger and I suppressed many of my needs until I no longer needed them. After a short time in Alanon, anger started seeping out of me, almost uncontrollable anger. It came out in a ru...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This weekend was a long weekend here, for the Queens birthday or some such nonsense. Daughter had agreed to go to her fathers a few weeks ago and there was a lot of hoo-ha from him because I could not take her and said I would instead pick her up. And daughter decided she really didn't want to go and has been a...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

my ex partner has been calling and leaving many messages .. I have been hearing all the I still have feelings for you .. the I want us to be a family .. the I am willing to make big changes ... I have made big changes .. I have done some growing up .. I think we could be a family .. etc .. (if anyone remembers my shar...

hotrod · hotrod

The. C2C reading for June 8 speaks about the Sixth Step:" Becoming entirely ready to have HP remove our defects of character." The reading goes on to indicate that many of us cherish our defects of character because they are negative tools that we developed to keep us safe. These tools cou...

Debb · Debb

Found this yesterday on "Quote/Sharing", a Baton Rouge Al-Anon website, I was searching for something that would take the edge off of my fears of recurring cancer (had breast cancer 4 years ago and am going through my annual tests again) and thought I would share with you all because it is...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello Family :) Recently I have been Struggling with "A" Family issues, and Then it Dawned on me Why... I Wasn't staying in my Own Back Yard :/ Even when they Come and Dump on Me I Try to Listen and Show Compassion, and Sympathy However, even in Not Passing Judgment on their issues, I tend to Let...

atheos · atheos

I have been so pleased with myself for dodging the "obvious" addictions like drugs and alcohol, that I didn't even notice that I use other things, like television, exactly the same way an alcoholic uses drinking. That thought threw me for a bit - I am not supposed to be the addict! But I use TV...

sc · sc

Hi I was wondering if anyone knew how to get hold of an ebook version of Paths to recovery. I have tried searching the internet but have only found untrusted websites or ones that sign you up and then when you search for the book it doesn't exist. As my fingers are paralysed handling the paper copy is diffi...

Luiza · Luiza

Had a situation today. ExAH sent me a txt this morning asking to have daughter for a sleep over on Monday after school. I explained to hi that she already had plans with a friend for Monday and she didn't want to cancel it. I reminded him that if he tell me as soon as he can the days he will be available to have d...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Traditions and Steps Work. TRADITION 10 was posted to the Step Board http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60321188/alanon-tradition-10/ Please share your thoughts

Alma Daigle · Alma Daigle

I just found an empty bottle in the basement and feel lost. I thought my husband was doing well and not drinking. Now I don't know what to think. Things have been going so well that I don't want to talk about it but I can't stop thinking about it. I know I can't change him. So how do I change me in this situation...

a4l · a4l

I was thinking today how much easier life would be if life was made up of more alanoners. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water. Making small talk at daughters gym class ( she's talented the mothers are mean) I just feel like ugh. I jumped with her and she banged her nose and started crying. I held her, un...

chelsea girl 24 · chelsea girl 24

Hi I have been a member of Al-anon for many years on and off. I left my 1st husband when my son was 3 years old due to his inability to get help and stay sober. (My ex is living on the street in NYC or in the shelters) I built a life for my child and myself and we were doing well. I remarried in 2007 and there are s...

missmeliss · missmeliss

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for 6-7 continues the discussion on the Steps. Today the meditation reviews Step 5: "Admitted to God to myself and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs " The reading explains that the answers for our lives lives within us. That many times the truth surfac...

JukuVee · JukuVee

My SO and I have been engaged for 22 years. I have basically refused to marry him because of the drinking even though I initially said yes when he asked me. He drank a ridiculous amount of beer, we are talking 12 to 18 beers every night until about a month ago. He throws ridiculous tantrums and screams a...

almostThere · almostThere

All my and my AW's friends are A's. Much of my AW's family are A's. I unceremoniously dropped the whole gang about 6 months ago. No lecture, no speech, no big blow-up that THEY saw, (at home is a different story). There are only a few family members who's disease has had a negative effect on my life, and...

almostThere · almostThere

Found myself running the "best of" tape again just now. All of the greatest absurd arguments and unfounded accusations that my A has made, and not just my A - as far back as I can remember, being accused of something I didn't do, or being blamed for something I had no part in has made me very ang...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

I was hurt really badly several years ago now and have serious complications including chronic pain (yes I take medis and no I never abuse them). I found that reaching out to help someone or something else made me feel better so I wanted to share with others. i was concentrating only on me and the pain (B...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

So I started a thread yesterday about seizures and asking if people had experienced that kind of thing with their alcoholics. I can honestly say that I am not interested in these ideas as a way of staying fixated on my ex (thanks, pinkchip, you are always very wise and discerning!). I am in academia as...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today, June 6 speaks about our own unacceptable behavior. It points out the many times we excuse ourselves by claiming that we provoked or had no other choice for it wass someone else's fault. We also use the excuse that everybody does it--. So it's no big deal. This is called justif...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I had some cruddy news yesterday. I had to have a minor surgery and I was a bit worried but also a little bit excited thinking it would be great to have this issue corrected at last as it has caused me a lot of angst for years now. Anyway the doctor was very concerned and gave me some very unexpected and unplea...

PennyJenny010115 · PennyJenny010115

My six year old son had some disturbing questions for me yesterday. He has recently been more keenly aware of the fights my ah and I have. He is also totally aware of how one-sided they are. "Mommy how come when you fight it's just daddy yelling at you and you just telling him okay and you're sorry a...

Erikap723 · Erikap723

Years ago, when some friends were trying to help me they took me to dinner with a friend of theirs who was a recovering A. I've never forgotten one thing she had said and that was, "The stage where he thinks he's in control of his drinking will be right before a major fall." Well apparently tha...

Shanny · Shanny

So I found out tonight that my AH has been seeing another woman and talking to other women as well. I know that I'm done, and don't want back into the relationship but man this is like a swift kick to the gut. When I found all this information I had a blown panic attack and confronted him about it, and he ackno...

lostsoulmate · lostsoulmate

I am confused with the recovery programs. I have been through the hell with my AH lying, stealing sleepless nights, detoxing, jail, etc. Once he enters the program I am pushed aside, told to come on visiting days write letters and find a good support group for myself. Once he enters the doors we are each...

TxTycoon45 · TxTycoon45

My A.W was the recipient of a DWI felony w/child under 15 in May 2012. Trial Sep 2012 received 5 years probation and 2 1/2 years with interlock. Well for 2 1/2 years she has manipulated the system to her favor, acts like the "model" probationer 2-3 days before appearing in front of P.O then alw...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hi all, Hello and THANK YOU to everyone! I feel I already know many of your since I have been lurking for several weeks now. I have gotten so much inspiration and gained so much from the posts here and the member shares. This board has been a life saver for me since I found it. I am the wife of an AH, the child...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

I just got through reading a thread where someone (sorry, I forgot who) was talking about their alcoholic spouse having a grand mal -- I realize from the reading in context this was a withdrawal thing... My ex AW had very recently quit drinking when we met. When we'd be asleep in bed she would have cycle...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Does anybody know how ah is drinking at nite and can drive his car at 8am the next day to work? the device is very advanced and ultra sensitive.By the device, i mean the puffer interlock on his car that wont let him drive without passing his puff into it sober????

Mikhail · Mikhail

These two things seem to be the theme of my week and I'm struggling with moving past them but they seem to sit on my shoulders constantly whispering in my ear. My alcoholic father has been in the hospital after having been in a skilled nursing facility after a couple of falls at rehab. They're trying to fi...

Lainey · Lainey

I feel very stuck lately on a mistake I made. My husband and I have been house hunting for a very long time while we live in an apartment. We moved to a new area and are close to my son and his family. A house finally came up that would have worked out perfectly for us. When the time came to make an offer, the offe...

mjferg · mjferg

It feels so good to join the human race.I have been busy expanding my social network,making friends and enjoying life.I can invite friends in without the fear of being ashamed or worrying about what mood I will be walking into. A lot of my anxiety has gone away.I no longer live with a secret.I can do what...

Mak11 · Mak11

Hi, I went to my first al-anon meeting the other night and will be continuing to do so. My fiance is the alcoholic in my life. It has always been an issue for me over the past 3 years, but I learned to ignore it as it was just easier. Now, since our engagement, I've realized I need the change. He wants kids,...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for today speaks about the Third step. This Step calls for turning our will and our lives over to the care of God as" we understood Him." We need to know that the destructive power of another's alcoholism has truly effected our lives , and we need the benevolent influence of a pow...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

My AH had an interesting thing happen last night at an AA meeting. He came home to tell me about it and seemed he knew his HP was working with him. He was on a break at the meeting when a guy came up to ask him for a light. My husband kind of recognized him and asked what he did for a living. He owns his own roofing c...

btrflykisses33 · btrflykisses33

Hey guys this is all new to me. I did not know there was a group out there for me for help!!!! I have now gone to 4 meetings and have been blessed by each ones. The only thing that is missing is my literature is there anyone that knows of any place I can get books I dont care if they are used or not to help me when Im h...

Lovejailed · Lovejailed

my AH finally got To a physical point. Not on me but the air conditioner and the door to my toy room.nhe broke his umbrella in the process. This was the first time I truly felt unsafe. I have read so much and understand this is just the next evolution of the disease. I asked for space with this. Of course he ha...

robinfl · robinfl

I had one pain pill from my last surgery hidden. I just found out it is gone. My daughter took it sometime this week. Should I confront her? Previous post:>>I bagan Alanon a few months ago because my dry drunk husband started drinking again.I picked my 29 year old daughter out of state and brough...

Truth · Truth

1. People can't give you what they don't have!!! (Expectations) 2. Just because they don't give it doesn't mean you don't need it (Values & Standards) 3. If you need it, you deserve it. (Boundaries and Detaching with Love) 4. If we are taking/forcing it without free will (Control) 5. If we pretend...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 4 speaks about the Second Step and the possibilities of Hope that it engenders. The reading stresses the importance of making a small dent in the overwhelming armor of despair, so that we can show that we are willing to move in the direction of healing. It states that a little wi...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I am curious to know if anyone's qualifier goes to AA meetings but either drinks before they go or after they leave. Is this a normal thing? I am just so frustrated right now. I wanted to ask my husband why bother go to the meeting at all if you are either going their drunk or drink afterwards but I didn't...

missmeliss · missmeliss

XAH is really working hard to rattle me. I have taken daughter there (the dreaded 8-10 hour train trip) every 2nd Friday for many years. Now I have decided that in winter, when it is dark early, it isn't safe for me to be catching trains late at night. The trip TO his house with daughter is OK safety-wise (a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	happy and worried (Preview) Hi All, I'm new to this, so not really sure how it works. But I could really use some guidance and support. I've been married to the man of my dreams for the past 10 years. He's an amazing husband, father and friend. Right after the financial recession of 2008, we started struggling financially, and he s...	Wife	6	671	Jun 10, 2015 by hotrod
	STILL having problems with acceptance and faith (Preview) I know that it is my own stubbornness and hard-headedness that have made my journey longer and more painful, but I'm grateful now that I've experienced a bit of progress lately since I retired and started attending more meetings and devoting more time to my own recovery - that I was powerless was alway...	texas yankee	11	704	Jun 10, 2015 by texas yankee
	Grateful (Preview) So I have effectively put even more distance between my ex-A and I by getting a person to do my correspondence for child related issues. I also requested that he get someone on his side. This has been happening for two months now. It has been exactly what I needed. He has tried to go around the arrangement...	Truth	2	556	Jun 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 6=10 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 10 continues the discussion on the Steps. Today it reviews the Eight step, which asked that we "make a list of all persons we had harmed The reading goes on to indicate that many of us are stumped by this step because we do not believe we have ever harmed anybody, and becaus...	hotrod	1	483	Jun 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	I Pray For The Wisdom To See The Future (Preview) More of the same gets more of the same. What we were given to practice, we practiced. What we practiced, we became. What we became, we are continuing to become - only more so - every day of our lives. We can do ourselves a favor by being aware of what we practice. Has the past taught us to withdraw? Think of h...	Debb	3	474	Jun 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	dealing with aggression (Preview) There are a couple of women in one of my classes that don't get along well,I don't know what the underlying issue is ,but you can feel the tension between them when they are in the room.Yesterday there was a big blowup between them.They started arguing and yelling,it was close to getting physical! My he...	mjferg	3	713	Jun 10, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	crickets (Preview) My dad was here today. Got his *our! dog. I am struggling, made 5 calls. No one on the other end. doesn\|\| mean no one is listening	Skorpi	8	729	Jun 9, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	my depression is finally lifting! (Preview) I have posted quite a bit and I have always tried to focus on positive things,but this has been a very heartbreaking journey for me and I have cried and struggled through it.I can tell that I am finally coming out of this darkness that I have been in.I am able to experience a much broader range of emotions...	mjferg	4	609	Jun 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Waiting for the news.... (Preview) Work up this morning feeling excited, confident and healthy...what a great feeling. I went for what maybe my final cat scan yesterday afternoon so that we can get a look at the condition of my brain since the last surgery. I feel great!! and now have to find some thing to use this new energy on. Any...	Jerry F	9	604	Jun 9, 2015 by almostThere
	The Ol Gang (Preview) So, my recovery is in its infancy, but on the right track. I managed to sneak out to another meeting last night and have been going any of the 4 groups in this area any time I can get away with it. It shows in our home lately. I've managed to avoid conflict and keep, if not a sunny disposition, at least an on...	almostThere	16	724	Jun 9, 2015 by Mattie
	Just keep swimming. (Preview) More nonsense from XAH today. I woke up to messages telling me he expects daughter there for the next 2 weekends as he has "missed out on 3". I don't know what that means as she's been visiting every 2 weeks lately and I also don't think it's right to wake me with messages circa 5am. However I kno...	missmeliss	2	606	Jun 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	I was feeling hopeful but now I just feel stupid (Preview) he said he would quit drinking but he is just telling me what I want to hear. I don't know why I thought he would come through for me this time. I thought being in the mental ward was a slap in the face wake up call but he's just going through the motions. That's all he's ever done. He had a gig at the county fair y...	JukuVee	6	742	Jun 9, 2015 by JukuVee
	Hope for Today June 9 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's HFT reading is about the ability, with the help of program tools and the strength of our HP, to speak our minds directly in a meaningful way. This reading begins with a description of how it was for someone when he/she first came to Alanon. There was a fear about saying w...	yanksfan51	3	560	Jun 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	AA sponsor helping to locate Al-Anon resources (Preview) I just wanted to drop a line to those living in small town USA where locating Al-Anon groups can be difficult. Last night AH asked his sponsor about my dilemma in finding an appropriate ff meeting. Naturally the first suggestion wa she one I attended for a while, but did not mesh well with. The sponsor...	Doingmybest	1	466	Jun 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	My exAH is dating an old friend of mine.... (Preview) A dear friend of mine that also moved away from our tiny little township told me yesterday that my exAH may be dating a very close old friend of mine that I stopped being friends with before I moved due to I was out of the party scene and raising kids and she continued to party with my husband and hers as well....	Breakingfree	2	576	Jun 9, 2015 by yanksfan51
	sometimes I feel that life is a popularity contest! (Preview) I am struggling w/ this topic obviously. I don't feel that I am being heard enough. I can't seem to focus my attention on anything else this moment. I thought popularity ended in high school. Am I that offensive or misleading? All I really want is a good life. I am not sure if I am just overreacting? I even s...	Hoot Nanny	10	603	Jun 8, 2015 by Enigmatic
	Hall(s) of Fame (Preview) The late, great Stevie Ray Vaughan was recently inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame with his band Double Trouble. SRV suffered for many years with drug and alcohol dependency, and like most creatives, was deeply concerned that letting go of his addiction would result in the loss of his creati...	almostThere	5	710	Jun 8, 2015 by Dave2554
	Sex and my journey (Preview) Living almost 20 yrs with an alcoholic meant I suppressed many things, I'm sure you can relate. I suppressed emotions like anger and I suppressed many of my needs until I no longer needed them. After a short time in Alanon, anger started seeping out of me, almost uncontrollable anger. It came out in a ru...	el-cee	9	755	Jun 8, 2015 by el-cee
	A vent and babble. (Preview) This weekend was a long weekend here, for the Queens birthday or some such nonsense. Daughter had agreed to go to her fathers a few weeks ago and there was a lot of hoo-ha from him because I could not take her and said I would instead pick her up. And daughter decided she really didn't want to go and has been a...	missmeliss	4	631	Jun 8, 2015 by tiredtonite
	rambling on ex (Preview) my ex partner has been calling and leaving many messages .. I have been hearing all the I still have feelings for you .. the I want us to be a family .. the I am willing to make big changes ... I have made big changes .. I have done some growing up .. I think we could be a family .. etc .. (if anyone remembers my shar...	MeTwo2	2	501	Jun 8, 2015 by hotrod
	C2C 6-8 (Preview) The. C2C reading for June 8 speaks about the Sixth Step:" Becoming entirely ready to have HP remove our defects of character." The reading goes on to indicate that many of us cherish our defects of character because they are negative tools that we developed to keep us safe. These tools cou...	hotrod	3	520	Jun 8, 2015 by Debb
	Worry & Fear - Something To Share (Preview) Found this yesterday on "Quote/Sharing", a Baton Rouge Al-Anon website, I was searching for something that would take the edge off of my fears of recurring cancer (had breast cancer 4 years ago and am going through my annual tests again) and thought I would share with you all because it is...	Debb	10	1115	Jun 8, 2015 by Debb
	How do You Decompress in Times of Insanity? (Preview) Hello Family :) Recently I have been Struggling with "A" Family issues, and Then it Dawned on me Why... I Wasn't staying in my Own Back Yard :/ Even when they Come and Dump on Me I Try to Listen and Show Compassion, and Sympathy However, even in Not Passing Judgment on their issues, I tend to Let...	Jozie	1	515	Jun 8, 2015 by hotrod
	Dealing with your own addictive behaviors (Preview) I have been so pleased with myself for dodging the "obvious" addictions like drugs and alcohol, that I didn't even notice that I use other things, like television, exactly the same way an alcoholic uses drinking. That thought threw me for a bit - I am not supposed to be the addict! But I use TV...	atheos	8	796	Jun 8, 2015 by Jozie
	ebook version of Paths to recovery and other CAL literature (Preview) Hi I was wondering if anyone knew how to get hold of an ebook version of Paths to recovery. I have tried searching the internet but have only found untrusted websites or ones that sign you up and then when you search for the book it doesn't exist. As my fingers are paralysed handling the paper copy is diffi...	sc	2	5551	Jun 8, 2015 by sc
	Did I over reacted? (Preview) Had a situation today. ExAH sent me a txt this morning asking to have daughter for a sleep over on Monday after school. I explained to hi that she already had plans with a friend for Monday and she didn't want to cancel it. I reminded him that if he tell me as soon as he can the days he will be available to have d...	Luiza	3	802	Jun 8, 2015 by Luiza
	Tradition 10 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Traditions and Steps Work. TRADITION 10 was posted to the Step Board http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60321188/alanon-tradition-10/ Please share your thoughts	hotrod	3	1489	Jun 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	Here I am again... found another bottle (Preview) I just found an empty bottle in the basement and feel lost. I thought my husband was doing well and not drinking. Now I don't know what to think. Things have been going so well that I don't want to talk about it but I can't stop thinking about it. I know I can't change him. So how do I change me in this situation...	Alma Daigle	4	698	Jun 7, 2015 by Freetime
	feeling lost in the world (Preview) I was thinking today how much easier life would be if life was made up of more alanoners. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water. Making small talk at daughters gym class ( she's talented the mothers are mean) I just feel like ugh. I jumped with her and she banged her nose and started crying. I held her, un...	a4l	8	817	Jun 7, 2015 by Debb
	How early is it to intervene? (Preview) Hi I have been a member of Al-anon for many years on and off. I left my 1st husband when my son was 3 years old due to his inability to get help and stay sober. (My ex is living on the street in NYC or in the shelters) I built a life for my child and myself and we were doing well. I remarried in 2007 and there are s...	chelsea girl 24	3	694	Jun 7, 2015 by hotrod
	This!! (Preview)	missmeliss	6	531	Jun 7, 2015 by Freetime
	c2C 6-6 (Preview) C2C reading for 6-7 continues the discussion on the Steps. Today the meditation reviews Step 5: "Admitted to God to myself and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs " The reading explains that the answers for our lives lives within us. That many times the truth surfac...	hotrod	2	520	Jun 7, 2015 by Debb
	How do I stick to decisions I've made (Preview) My SO and I have been engaged for 22 years. I have basically refused to marry him because of the drinking even though I initially said yes when he asked me. He drank a ridiculous amount of beer, we are talking 12 to 18 beers every night until about a month ago. He throws ridiculous tantrums and screams a...	JukuVee	12	839	Jun 7, 2015 by JukuVee
	If you can't lick 'em... (Preview) All my and my AW's friends are A's. Much of my AW's family are A's. I unceremoniously dropped the whole gang about 6 months ago. No lecture, no speech, no big blow-up that THEY saw, (at home is a different story). There are only a few family members who's disease has had a negative effect on my life, and...	almostThere	15	821	Jun 6, 2015 by Saucy
	The injustice of it all! (Preview) Found myself running the "best of" tape again just now. All of the greatest absurd arguments and unfounded accusations that my A has made, and not just my A - as far back as I can remember, being accused of something I didn't do, or being blamed for something I had no part in has made me very ang...	almostThere	5	734	Jun 6, 2015 by almostThere
	"Animals" as a resource (Preview) I was hurt really badly several years ago now and have serious complications including chronic pain (yes I take medis and no I never abuse them). I found that reaching out to help someone or something else made me feel better so I wanted to share with others. i was concentrating only on me and the pain (B...	Doingmybest	2	648	Jun 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Questions about co-morbidity...feedback appreciated! :-) (Preview) So I started a thread yesterday about seizures and asking if people had experienced that kind of thing with their alcoholics. I can honestly say that I am not interested in these ideas as a way of staying fixated on my ex (thanks, pinkchip, you are always very wise and discerning!). I am in academia as...	SpookyMulder	10	740	Jun 6, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	C2C 6-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for today, June 6 speaks about our own unacceptable behavior. It points out the many times we excuse ourselves by claiming that we provoked or had no other choice for it wass someone else's fault. We also use the excuse that everybody does it--. So it's no big deal. This is called justif...	hotrod	1	596	Jun 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Time to make lemonade. (Preview) I had some cruddy news yesterday. I had to have a minor surgery and I was a bit worried but also a little bit excited thinking it would be great to have this issue corrected at last as it has caused me a lot of angst for years now. Anyway the doctor was very concerned and gave me some very unexpected and unplea...	missmeliss	4	792	Jun 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Not my baby... (Preview) My six year old son had some disturbing questions for me yesterday. He has recently been more keenly aware of the fights my ah and I have. He is also totally aware of how one-sided they are. "Mommy how come when you fight it's just daddy yelling at you and you just telling him okay and you're sorry a...	PennyJenny010115	4	678	Jun 6, 2015 by el-cee
	Now he "can control it" (Preview) Years ago, when some friends were trying to help me they took me to dinner with a friend of theirs who was a recovering A. I've never forgotten one thing she had said and that was, "The stage where he thinks he's in control of his drinking will be right before a major fall." Well apparently tha...	Erikap723	3	675	Jun 6, 2015 by hotrod
	When does the heartbreak stop (Preview) So I found out tonight that my AH has been seeing another woman and talking to other women as well. I know that I'm done, and don't want back into the relationship but man this is like a swift kick to the gut. When I found all this information I had a blown panic attack and confronted him about it, and he ackno...	Shanny	16	908	Jun 5, 2015 by Mirandac
	so confused where I stand (Preview) I am confused with the recovery programs. I have been through the hell with my AH lying, stealing sleepless nights, detoxing, jail, etc. Once he enters the program I am pushed aside, told to come on visiting days write letters and find a good support group for myself. Once he enters the doors we are each...	lostsoulmate	6	640	Jun 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	Banging head against a wall... (Preview) My A.W was the recipient of a DWI felony w/child under 15 in May 2012. Trial Sep 2012 received 5 years probation and 2 1/2 years with interlock. Well for 2 1/2 years she has manipulated the system to her favor, acts like the "model" probationer 2-3 days before appearing in front of P.O then alw...	TxTycoon45	5	539	Jun 5, 2015 by Dave2554
	New member - lurking for about a month et (Preview) Hi all, Hello and THANK YOU to everyone! I feel I already know many of your since I have been lurking for several weeks now. I have gotten so much inspiration and gained so much from the posts here and the member shares. This board has been a life saver for me since I found it. I am the wife of an AH, the child...	Doingmybest	13	802	Jun 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	SEIZURES AND ALCOHOLISM - NEED ANSWERS, PLEASE (Preview) I just got through reading a thread where someone (sorry, I forgot who) was talking about their alcoholic spouse having a grand mal -- I realize from the reading in context this was a withdrawal thing... My ex AW had very recently quit drinking when we met. When we'd be asleep in bed she would have cycle...	SpookyMulder	12	4131	Jun 5, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	beating interlock device? (Preview) Does anybody know how ah is drinking at nite and can drive his car at 8am the next day to work? the device is very advanced and ultra sensitive.By the device, i mean the puffer interlock on his car that wont let him drive without passing his puff into it sober????	YARNCRAZY	5	912	Jun 5, 2015 by almostThere
	Second Guessing and Fixing Everything (Preview) These two things seem to be the theme of my week and I'm struggling with moving past them but they seem to sit on my shoulders constantly whispering in my ear. My alcoholic father has been in the hospital after having been in a skilled nursing facility after a couple of falls at rehab. They're trying to fi...	Mikhail	5	678	Jun 5, 2015 by Lainey
	Mistakes (Preview) I feel very stuck lately on a mistake I made. My husband and I have been house hunting for a very long time while we live in an apartment. We moved to a new area and are close to my son and his family. A house finally came up that would have worked out perfectly for us. When the time came to make an offer, the offe...	Lainey	9	712	Jun 5, 2015 by Lainey
	no secrets (Preview) It feels so good to join the human race.I have been busy expanding my social network,making friends and enjoying life.I can invite friends in without the fear of being ashamed or worrying about what mood I will be walking into. A lot of my anxiety has gone away.I no longer live with a secret.I can do what...	mjferg	12	825	Jun 5, 2015 by almostThere
	new here (Preview) Hi, I went to my first al-anon meeting the other night and will be continuing to do so. My fiance is the alcoholic in my life. It has always been an issue for me over the past 3 years, but I learned to ignore it as it was just easier. Now, since our engagement, I've realized I need the change. He wants kids,...	Mak11	8	588	Jun 5, 2015 by Jazzie18
	C2C 6-5 (Preview) C2C reading for today speaks about the Third step. This Step calls for turning our will and our lives over to the care of God as" we understood Him." We need to know that the destructive power of another's alcoholism has truly effected our lives , and we need the benevolent influence of a pow...	hotrod	2	606	Jun 5, 2015 by almostThere
	Sign of a HP at work (Preview) My AH had an interesting thing happen last night at an AA meeting. He came home to tell me about it and seemed he knew his HP was working with him. He was on a break at the meeting when a guy came up to ask him for a light. My husband kind of recognized him and asked what he did for a living. He owns his own roofing c...	Jazzie18	3	584	Jun 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	literature (Preview) Hey guys this is all new to me. I did not know there was a group out there for me for help!!!! I have now gone to 4 meetings and have been blessed by each ones. The only thing that is missing is my literature is there anyone that knows of any place I can get books I dont care if they are used or not to help me when Im h...	btrflykisses33	7	492	Jun 5, 2015 by Breakingfree
	I have asked for space finally! (Preview) my AH finally got To a physical point. Not on me but the air conditioner and the door to my toy room.nhe broke his umbrella in the process. This was the first time I truly felt unsafe. I have read so much and understand this is just the next evolution of the disease. I asked for space with this. Of course he ha...	Lovejailed	6	600	Jun 5, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Daughter Stole Pain Pill should I confront? (Preview) I had one pain pill from my last surgery hidden. I just found out it is gone. My daughter took it sometime this week. Should I confront her? Previous post:>>I bagan Alanon a few months ago because my dry drunk husband started drinking again.I picked my 29 year old daughter out of state and brough...	robinfl	2	682	Jun 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	So integration begins... (Preview) 1. People can't give you what they don't have!!! (Expectations) 2. Just because they don't give it doesn't mean you don't need it (Values & Standards) 3. If you need it, you deserve it. (Boundaries and Detaching with Love) 4. If we are taking/forcing it without free will (Control) 5. If we pretend...	Truth	8	739	Jun 4, 2015 by Fairlee
	C2C reading 6-4 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 4 speaks about the Second Step and the possibilities of Hope that it engenders. The reading stresses the importance of making a small dent in the overwhelming armor of despair, so that we can show that we are willing to move in the direction of healing. It states that a little wi...	hotrod	7	672	Jun 4, 2015 by Enigmatic
	AH going to AA meetings but still drinking (Preview) I am curious to know if anyone's qualifier goes to AA meetings but either drinks before they go or after they leave. Is this a normal thing? I am just so frustrated right now. I wanted to ask my husband why bother go to the meeting at all if you are either going their drunk or drink afterwards but I didn't...	Jazzie18	9	587	Jun 4, 2015 by Mike B
	Sticking to the facts. (Preview) XAH is really working hard to rattle me. I have taken daughter there (the dreaded 8-10 hour train trip) every 2nd Friday for many years. Now I have decided that in winter, when it is dark early, it isn't safe for me to be catching trains late at night. The trip TO his house with daughter is OK safety-wise (a...	missmeliss	12	1707	Jun 3, 2015 by a4l
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