Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

savannah7070 · savannah7070

Long story made short, I moved myself and our two preteen daughters out of our home last weekend because of AH and all the arguing when he drinks. We have been married 15 years and I am extremely codependent which allowed him to treat me like a doormat and a possession. He could always do whatever it was he...

joker · joker

I have been reading the messages on line and I have come to see I am in an emotional abusive relationship with ABF who is now 3 months sober and I am his cheerleader. I am the one that is there for him constantly, giving him encouragement due to my fear of not seeing him succeed. Its like I am the one holding it...

hotrod · hotrod

Courage to Change reading for January 2 points out that turning to the alcoholic for affection and support is like going to the hardware store for bread.. We may have an expectation that a good parents should nurture us and support our feelings or a loving spouse comfort us and hold us when we are afra...

joker · joker

I will do my best to explain how I feel. My ABF quit drinking 3 months ago and has become very distant emotionally, very self centered and changes plans constantly. My head is spinning not getting confirmation of what is going on with him. Maybe I am finally seeing who he really is now and its not what I wan...

catlover26 · catlover26

It is all so hard to explain how little things I can say to him can make him upset. He also has ptsd so any conflict between us he would rather just not talk about. Last night I just wanted us to sit on the couch together. We have talked about this before but for a few 'intimate' reasons he doesn't want to have r...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Its been a couple of weeks since I last posted and as much as I hate to say it I feel like a broken record ....the on again off again merry go round...just gets exhaustng to the point that I dont even have to energy to get on the boards here or do even an online meeting. I swear every week its something differen...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't believe it! I am suffering from a head cold. Not a great way to celebrate...I even had plans for later today... I guess I will be down for awhile. Well...I went to bed earlier than expected. Didn't intend on staying up but life is funny... I woke up just after midnight... right after the firework...

Broken513 · Broken513

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for January 1 speaks about living in a society of instant gratification. Instant coffee instant money from the bank machine instant breakfast etc. It's everywhere we look. No wonder many of us arrived at Al-Anon looking for the instant answer to all our problems. Recovery is a process th...

John · John

A great video about being a parent, more specifically a mother and wife... a woman is speaking to her young daughter. I watched it and decided it would be a good fit here for people to watch. Hope you enjoy it. Reply and let me know what you think of it, how it effected you, etc. "How hard is it being a wife a...

mjferg · mjferg

Looking back at some of my posts it was quite a painful year,I shed a lot of tears,There were days the pain was so intense I didn't think I was going to survive it, But I did. I am discovering amazing things about myself,abilities I didn't even know I had.I am starting to really enjoy the changes that are co...

Heisenberg · Heisenberg

Hi all, I've posted once or twice before, but mostly just spend time as a reader here. Hoping others could help chime in on what I'm experiencing (I'm sure many have!) and provide some advice. So...long story short, I've finally made the split from my Fiancee (we own a home together, no kids) and I am sta...

Broken513 · Broken513

Good morning...Long time no write..lol... In the church, I was taught ...If everything is going well in your life, something is wrong.......I was also taught to cast all your worries on Him...which is Let go Let God......and in the last 4 1/2 months I have been doing this. I have also been taught to tru...

Fresh · Fresh

I am new to Al-Anon and I am confused by what my responsibility as the AH's Wife is supposed to be. He is currently at a treatment center. I have promised to stop drinking as well(not because I have a drinking problem but just for support)Well, my best friend and her husband are coming over tonight to spe...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for December 31 speaks about the end of the year and suggests taking a few minutes to contemplate the progress that we have made.. It asks us to note what we did to contribute to our success. For example: we continue to attend meetings we've reached out to others for fello...

Thorn · Thorn

JADE is a concept I struggle with. I have made vast improvements in this area by minding my business and not encroaching on the decisions of my husband and my 2 20-something kids that live with us. This of course is confusing and sometimes infuriating my AH (sober 20+ years but no longer attends mtgs). M...

KT2015 · KT2015

My mom is not an alcoholic but lately I am struggling the most with my relationship with her. My mom raised me almost completely on her own. I lived with her full time and saw my dad on some weekends. We were extremely close. My mom has a mental illness she has struggled with my whole life. Two years a...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been struggling for quite some time now,struggling financially and emotionally. Life has been a real struggle this past year.I feel like I am in a little rowboat full of holes and i just keep patching the holes, I patch one and another one appears.I have way too many expenses for my income. So a co...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I suggest that no one stays up to ring in the new year unless you want to. I personally need the sleep. Won't go anywhere to celebrate. Sparkling cider & alcohol free egg nog. Maybe some nuts & light snacks. I am actually looking forward to the new year. Let go of the old year & bring in the new....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 30 speaks about the negative things that other people say and do and how not to allow this to destroy our peace of mind. . It points out that we have" choices "and if we do not allow ourselves to respond to the negative words of a sick person, we will not be giving...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

So im grumpy from my cold and there is still lots to be done to whip this place into shape. i had the exterminaters come with no result so taking it in my own hands and intend to seal with caulk every crack and crevice in this whole place and set up with a resort of roach motels lol and attack directly with spra...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

How is everyone going to celebrate the new year? I am considering a very sober celebration of the new year 2016! I am even turning 50 this coming year. I hope you all can cope w/ or w/o the drinking in your loved ones lives. I am hopeful for all of you. I am so grateful that Christmas is over only because I can g...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 12 has been posted to the Step Work Board.Please share your thoughts. Here is the link http://stepwork.active...

flovett270 · flovett270

I recently discovered that my finace's drinking problem stretches out more than just the weekend drinker...I found out he drinks alone mostly..... He says he is "Sick"when ever he really is just drunk or getting over a binge. He has been "sick "about every 4 or 5 weeks. I ju...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Things are not going smoothly at the moment and again boring boring details .. LOL .. I'm so detailed and yet I bore myself at the moment if that's not saying something I don't know what is. I self sabotage at a rate that boggles the mind, .. at the same time thins are not all bad, for that I am grateful. I'm r...

Millop · Millop

Hi all, i have posted once before on MIP and regularly hang out and read ESH from lots of the threads which I find invaluable to my own recovery! Oh gosh I need to share this to get it off my chest! My father and brother who have since passed due to alcohol related illnesses have left such an unhealthy fami...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

Any suggestions, good slogans or quotes for dealing with my AH when he's just being unreasonable? He's been sober for a bit now, but his dry drunk is horrible (practically equal to the drunk guy at times). Just to give an example, our son is being watched this week by visiting relatives (daycare is clos...

joker · joker

I will give background information. I was 25 years old when I met my first husband. It was love at first sight! He physically abused me yet we got married. That lasted 7 months and he left December 1st. Never saw him again. We eventually got divorced. I saw issues with him. He could not hold down a job, and d...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the idea of balance in our lives. The writer realizes that through program work he/she has become more able to be centered in HP's will. The need for control is released and balance is found. We are centered in the gift of serenity. I have just retur...

joker · joker

I have a disabled daughter that is 21 years old living with me. She has physio affective disorder. She stays in her room 24 hours a day and is not able to do anything for herself. I have to be her life line and help her with getting things she needs done. Its really stressful and I monitor her condition as wel...

Debb · Debb

Christmas at my mother and father's was interesting. Mom, by the end of our four hour visit, had polished off a half a bottle of wine and was truly out of control. 25 years ago she and her sister, the last of the siblings in the family, gave me my grandmother's wedding diamond, when she pasted away. I wa...

Daffypuck · Daffypuck

Without being long winded, til later, I have a question or two. My best friends wife, who is my best female friend, is an alcoholic. Before I go into details of why and whatnot, my big question is, what can my friend do legally to force her to get help. Her alcoholism is putting a huge strain on their marria...

JL969803 · JL969803

How do you ever learn to trust again when they have lied and manipulated for so long? Is trust even possible again? My AH says he wants to move forward and has admitted that he needs to get help, but after his last episode my anxiety raises everytime he's away from me. I wonder if he's up to something. I can'...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

caught a cold sunday. guess i was having too much fun lol today, i went through this poor me phase followed by anger followed by being p offed that xah woke me up at 1am to want me to make hotel reservations at a casino so he can drive drunk,got drunker,lose his money and get into more trouble in his unsured c...

atheos · atheos

"Recovery doesn't protect us from life. It enables us to live more fully and deal with life's problems as they arise." - Paths to Recovery I haven't been doing active step work for a few years -- I kind of stalled out after 5. I had some external excuses (moving a lot, didn't have a sponsor in my...

daughter52 · daughter52

I am an adult daughter of an alcoholic. My father was the alcoholic. He passed away 6 years ago. His death was not alcohol related. He was 87 and had other health problems. My mother is now 92 and in a care home. My father stopped drinking 20 years before his death, but he had an addictive personalit...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C 12-28 speaks about sponsorship and how important it is to our recovery. It is here in this relationship that we can learn to trust another and learn to receive love .Watching and experiencing Someone who demonstrates unconditional love and takes care of themselves and offers support wi...

lookingup · lookingup

I find another needle or syringe hidden where I was cleaning at this makes several times I found his syringes put in hideous places ,this morning I threw it at him and he tried to denie it so when I told him what I thought he said he had to do it to put up with my bxxxxing ,everyday I said you kept doing the same o...

JL969803 · JL969803

I am not even sure how to begin. I have an AH of 20 years. I always knew there was a problem, but chose to ignore it and try to make life as normal as possible for the kids. There have been some really, really bad times. Not surprising, things have gotten worse for all of us. His drinking problem has resulted i...

sandollars · sandollars

your friend has depression and anxiety. Clear as day to me. Clinical depression....undiagnosed...or diagnosed but doesn't keep up with the meds he should be taking to help him through it. And massive anxiety but doesn't keep up with same. Doesn't bother to find a good therapist to talk through...

Prayer warrior · Prayer warrior

i spent Christmas with my husband and his daughter and his sister and brother. I grew up in a alcoholic home. Something triggered me at my sister in laws. She had photos of my husbands first wife and photos of his first wedding and no photos of me and my husband. It was weird. I felt uncomfortable. I...

John · John

I haven't been able to post in a very long time. At least 18 months. Not sure why I'm avoiding it. I think its got a little bit to do with my being an empath. That means I feel the pain of others in a deep and literal sense. Between the tremendous amount of pain I sense here, and read in the words you write, a...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C continues to speak about how our attitudes can change, so we can live with serenity and wisdom The reading for today 12-27 speaks about keeping an open mind so that, by listening to the ideas of others and sharing opinions, we can grow in wisdom and see that there are various ways of looking a...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

the first week and half in my new place has had its ups and downs but mostly i was able to solve all my issues. the lanon tools have helped lot. like for overcoming fear, being grateful and first things first when i felt overwhelmed. i did almost get myself in a mess of this old boyfriend who came into my life...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a nightmare I haven't had for a long time about my XS/dad. He was a drug addict (my term script drugs) and a definite alcoholic. Anyway, don't want to bore with the details, I about woke up in a panic attack and literally had to talk myself down because I was shaking so bad. As bad as this is I had to re...

what2do · what2do

Hi, I'm new here. I've been to meetings once or twice over the years and I plan to begin again. My husband of 6 years is an alcoholic. in July began his most recent round of residential treatment and was sober for 4 months. The longest it's ever been. It was wonderful. I mean -- everything I've been waiting...

Irishmama · Irishmama

I've been growing concerned about my husband's increased use of alcohol and smoking. i feel responsible for protecting our children, his parents, my parents, friends etc. i can often just forgive the inappropriate behavior and move on trying to normalize things. But it's becoming increasing...

andromeda · andromeda

Ok, everyone. I just need to pour out my pain for my son so please bear with me. He is really struggling. Every time he comes home from my XAH's house, he seems more emotional and confused and angry. His dad isn't just an alcoholic, he's also very negative and keeps the news on 24/7 and rants and raves a...

Mermaid4 · Mermaid4

It was the first real boundary I had ever set and stuck by with no hesitation. Coming home from a morning Alanon meeting to find my husband drunk at 10:30 am and my kids home on Christmas break unsettled and uncomfortable after too many times seeing their dad like this, I told him I wanted him to go somewhe...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading 12-26 speaks about having choices. In alanon we learn not to be door mats but to get up off the floor, and make a choice for ourselves. We are not victims and we do have a choice in every situation. We must resist the temptation to blame others but to look to ourselves for my part and see how...

hiraeth · hiraeth

I'm curious about why people stay with alcoholic husbands or wives, especially when they are not in recovery. Why do you stay? I'm not criticising your choice, I'd just like to understand the motives to stay in such a situation. -- Edited by hiraeth on Wednesday 11th of November 2015 01:43:42 AM

atheos · atheos

When I started in Al-Anon, I was in a city where there were many step-focused meetings, and most meetings had a few people who had been in Al-Anon for 5+ years (in some cases, 20+ years). When I came back to Al-Anon, I really wanted to come back to that, but... In the city I am in now, there are a lot of "g...

Musicmama · Musicmama

Christmas was a dramatic affair, as all our son's visits are. He doesn't drink while he's here, that we know of, but his anger has everybody walking on eggshells to avoid his wrath. 'Nobody does anything right. His kids won't behave and it's our fault. We don't love him as much as we love our other son, wh...

hastingsmum · hastingsmum

So a quick recap of my situation is that my 3 children's dad is addicted to drugs (heroin) and has been for years now. He has been to rehab for 6 months, various shorter stints and tried to detox at home himself numerous times... Needless to say none of it has worked. He used to have contact with his childr...

release_me · release_me

I have passive-aggressive tendencies but it's been building and building, this watching my Mom's symptoms of alcoholism present themselves again for the past I-don't-even-know how many months. I have no "evidence" other than my gut, her behavior, the way her speech looks, her eyes...

John · John

Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...

Mattie · Mattie

Although my ex-AH never went into longterm recovery, he is a binge drinker, so generally I don't have to deal with his drinking. He goes long periods between binges, and during the binges he just doesn't surface, so the drinking isn't in my face. We have to see each other because of our child, but he ha...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This slogan seems to be a love it or hate it type deal; personally I love it. Over time, others have expressed quite validly that to them it feels like continuing behaving in a disingenuous manner, a behavior they are trying to break away from. So I thought I'd express how it worked for me (and still work...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well im 44 yo and in the process of divorcing my ah of 17 yrs. Im currently in a guest bedroom at my parents home on christmas eve. I am living with friends but decided they shoukd have family time i graciously agreed to.let my ah have our daughter for christmas eve and the next mirning as he has been going to...

annief · annief

Hi, this is my first post here. Thanks so much for listening (reading). I have been in Al-Anon for a little over four years and it's done wonderful things for me. My primary qualifier is my ex (thank God!) AH. I have just recently decided to wade into dating again, for reasons that I am really not sure o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	AH is having himself admitted to hospital to dry out...how will this help (Preview) Long story made short, I moved myself and our two preteen daughters out of our home last weekend because of AH and all the arguing when he drinks. We have been married 15 years and I am extremely codependent which allowed him to treat me like a doormat and a possession. He could always do whatever it was he...	savannah7070	14	777	Jan 2, 2016 by savannah7070
	another realization made (Preview) I have been reading the messages on line and I have come to see I am in an emotional abusive relationship with ABF who is now 3 months sober and I am his cheerleader. I am the one that is there for him constantly, giving him encouragement due to my fear of not seeing him succeed. Its like I am the one holding it...	joker	8	622	Jan 2, 2016 by missmeliss
	Courage to Change 1-2-2016 (Preview) Courage to Change reading for January 2 points out that turning to the alcoholic for affection and support is like going to the hardware store for bread.. We may have an expectation that a good parents should nurture us and support our feelings or a loving spouse comfort us and hold us when we are afra...	hotrod	3	2378	Jan 2, 2016 by Debb
	overthinking again (Preview) I will do my best to explain how I feel. My ABF quit drinking 3 months ago and has become very distant emotionally, very self centered and changes plans constantly. My head is spinning not getting confirmation of what is going on with him. Maybe I am finally seeing who he really is now and its not what I wan...	joker	4	740	Jan 2, 2016 by andromeda
	what Alcoholism has done to him (Preview) It is all so hard to explain how little things I can say to him can make him upset. He also has ptsd so any conflict between us he would rather just not talk about. Last night I just wanted us to sit on the couch together. We have talked about this before but for a few 'intimate' reasons he doesn't want to have r...	catlover26	5	631	Jan 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Every week its something different... (Preview) Its been a couple of weeks since I last posted and as much as I hate to say it I feel like a broken record ....the on again off again merry go round...just gets exhaustng to the point that I dont even have to energy to get on the boards here or do even an online meeting. I swear every week its something differen...	Hopefull15	7	707	Jan 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	happy new year & i am sick... (Preview) I can't believe it! I am suffering from a head cold. Not a great way to celebrate...I even had plans for later today... I guess I will be down for awhile. Well...I went to bed earlier than expected. Didn't intend on staying up but life is funny... I woke up just after midnight... right after the firework...	Hoot Nanny	1	375	Jan 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	To all of my family here at MIP (Preview)	Broken513	4	396	Jan 1, 2016 by Debb
	Courage to Change Jan 1 (Preview) C2C reading for January 1 speaks about living in a society of instant gratification. Instant coffee instant money from the bank machine instant breakfast etc. It's everywhere we look. No wonder many of us arrived at Al-Anon looking for the instant answer to all our problems. Recovery is a process th...	hotrod	3	530	Jan 1, 2016 by Debb
	"How hard is it to be a wife and a mother?" (Preview) A great video about being a parent, more specifically a mother and wife... a woman is speaking to her young daughter. I watched it and decided it would be a good fit here for people to watch. Hope you enjoy it. Reply and let me know what you think of it, how it effected you, etc. "How hard is it being a wife a...	John	5	609	Jan 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	The New Year (Preview) Looking back at some of my posts it was quite a painful year,I shed a lot of tears,There were days the pain was so intense I didn't think I was going to survive it, But I did. I am discovering amazing things about myself,abilities I didn't even know I had.I am starting to really enjoy the changes that are co...	mjferg	6	578	Jan 1, 2016 by andromeda
	Breaking up with Alcoholic GF (Preview) Hi all, I've posted once or twice before, but mostly just spend time as a reader here. Hoping others could help chime in on what I'm experiencing (I'm sure many have!) and provide some advice. So...long story short, I've finally made the split from my Fiancee (we own a home together, no kids) and I am sta...	Heisenberg	7	827	Jan 1, 2016 by Heisenberg
	No expectations....and a little confused (Preview) Good morning...Long time no write..lol... In the church, I was taught ...If everything is going well in your life, something is wrong.......I was also taught to cast all your worries on Him...which is Let go Let God......and in the last 4 1/2 months I have been doing this. I have also been taught to tru...	Broken513	6	672	Dec 31, 2015 by Broken513
	New Year's Eve but (Preview) I am new to Al-Anon and I am confused by what my responsibility as the AH's Wife is supposed to be. He is currently at a treatment center. I have promised to stop drinking as well(not because I have a drinking problem but just for support)Well, my best friend and her husband are coming over tonight to spe...	Fresh	8	602	Dec 31, 2015 by Bethany66
	Courage to Change Reading 12-31 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for December 31 speaks about the end of the year and suggests taking a few minutes to contemplate the progress that we have made.. It asks us to note what we did to contribute to our success. For example: we continue to attend meetings we've reached out to others for fello...	hotrod	2	664	Dec 31, 2015 by OceanTide
	If I explain am I controlling? (Preview) JADE is a concept I struggle with. I have made vast improvements in this area by minding my business and not encroaching on the decisions of my husband and my 2 20-something kids that live with us. This of course is confusing and sometimes infuriating my AH (sober 20+ years but no longer attends mtgs). M...	Thorn	5	718	Dec 31, 2015 by gingerfizz
	Struggling with relationship with Mom (Preview) My mom is not an alcoholic but lately I am struggling the most with my relationship with her. My mom raised me almost completely on her own. I lived with her full time and saw my dad on some weekends. We were extremely close. My mom has a mental illness she has struggled with my whole life. Two years a...	KT2015	4	574	Dec 31, 2015 by KT2015
	letting go,a real turning point (Preview) I have been struggling for quite some time now,struggling financially and emotionally. Life has been a real struggle this past year.I feel like I am in a little rowboat full of holes and i just keep patching the holes, I patch one and another one appears.I have way too many expenses for my income. So a co...	mjferg	9	765	Dec 31, 2015 by andromeda
	don't stay up... (Preview) I suggest that no one stays up to ring in the new year unless you want to. I personally need the sleep. Won't go anywhere to celebrate. Sparkling cider & alcohol free egg nog. Maybe some nuts & light snacks. I am actually looking forward to the new year. Let go of the old year & bring in the new....	Hoot Nanny	3	541	Dec 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C reading 12-30 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 30 speaks about the negative things that other people say and do and how not to allow this to destroy our peace of mind. . It points out that we have" choices "and if we do not allow ourselves to respond to the negative words of a sick person, we will not be giving...	hotrod	4	432	Dec 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	A BIT BEWILDERED (Preview) So im grumpy from my cold and there is still lots to be done to whip this place into shape. i had the exterminaters come with no result so taking it in my own hands and intend to seal with caulk every crack and crevice in this whole place and set up with a resort of roach motels lol and attack directly with spra...	YARNCRAZY	2	596	Dec 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	celebrating the season (Preview) How is everyone going to celebrate the new year? I am considering a very sober celebration of the new year 2016! I am even turning 50 this coming year. I hope you all can cope w/ or w/o the drinking in your loved ones lives. I am hopeful for all of you. I am so grateful that Christmas is over only because I can g...	Hoot Nanny	7	589	Dec 30, 2015 by Thorn
	Step 12 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 12 has been posted to the Step Work Board.Please share your thoughts. Here is the link http://stepwork.active...	hotrod	3	365	Dec 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	Just found out about my fiance's alcohol problem....I want to learn how to deal with this... (Preview) I recently discovered that my finace's drinking problem stretches out more than just the weekend drinker...I found out he drinks alone mostly..... He says he is "Sick"when ever he really is just drunk or getting over a binge. He has been "sick "about every 4 or 5 weeks. I ju...	flovett270	2	466	Dec 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	The Dancing Girl (Preview) Things are not going smoothly at the moment and again boring boring details .. LOL .. I'm so detailed and yet I bore myself at the moment if that's not saying something I don't know what is. I self sabotage at a rate that boggles the mind, .. at the same time thins are not all bad, for that I am grateful. I'm r...	SerenityRUS	2	620	Dec 29, 2015 by atheos
	Self doubt kicking in! (Preview) Hi all, i have posted once before on MIP and regularly hang out and read ESH from lots of the threads which I find invaluable to my own recovery! Oh gosh I need to share this to get it off my chest! My father and brother who have since passed due to alcohol related illnesses have left such an unhealthy fami...	Millop	4	519	Dec 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	Dealing with the unreasonable (Preview) Any suggestions, good slogans or quotes for dealing with my AH when he's just being unreasonable? He's been sober for a bit now, but his dry drunk is horrible (practically equal to the drunk guy at times). Just to give an example, our son is being watched this week by visiting relatives (daycare is clos...	CoopsMom	7	691	Dec 29, 2015 by maryjane
	Finally letting go (Preview) I will give background information. I was 25 years old when I met my first husband. It was love at first sight! He physically abused me yet we got married. That lasted 7 months and he left December 1st. Never saw him again. We eventually got divorced. I saw issues with him. He could not hold down a job, and d...	joker	4	456	Dec 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today dec 29 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the idea of balance in our lives. The writer realizes that through program work he/she has become more able to be centered in HP's will. The need for control is released and balance is found. We are centered in the gift of serenity. I have just retur...	yanksfan51	3	457	Dec 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	feeling angry (Preview) I have a disabled daughter that is 21 years old living with me. She has physio affective disorder. She stays in her room 24 hours a day and is not able to do anything for herself. I have to be her life line and help her with getting things she needs done. Its really stressful and I monitor her condition as wel...	joker	3	604	Dec 29, 2015 by Debb
	Trying to accept & make sense (Preview) Christmas at my mother and father's was interesting. Mom, by the end of our four hour visit, had polished off a half a bottle of wine and was truly out of control. 25 years ago she and her sister, the last of the siblings in the family, gave me my grandmother's wedding diamond, when she pasted away. I wa...	Debb	6	659	Dec 29, 2015 by Debb
	New to ALANON and have a few questions (Preview) Without being long winded, til later, I have a question or two. My best friends wife, who is my best female friend, is an alcoholic. Before I go into details of why and whatnot, my big question is, what can my friend do legally to force her to get help. Her alcoholism is putting a huge strain on their marria...	Daffypuck	13	787	Dec 29, 2015 by Thorn
	coping suggestions? (Preview) How do you ever learn to trust again when they have lied and manipulated for so long? Is trust even possible again? My AH says he wants to move forward and has admitted that he needs to get help, but after his last episode my anxiety raises everytime he's away from me. I wonder if he's up to something. I can'...	JL969803	6	691	Dec 29, 2015 by KT2015
	COLD/MELTDOWN (Preview) caught a cold sunday. guess i was having too much fun lol today, i went through this poor me phase followed by anger followed by being p offed that xah woke me up at 1am to want me to make hotel reservations at a casino so he can drive drunk,got drunker,lose his money and get into more trouble in his unsured c...	YARNCRAZY	3	406	Dec 28, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	I think I finally understand step 3 (Preview) "Recovery doesn't protect us from life. It enables us to live more fully and deal with life's problems as they arise." - Paths to Recovery I haven't been doing active step work for a few years -- I kind of stalled out after 5. I had some external excuses (moving a lot, didn't have a sponsor in my...	atheos	4	581	Dec 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Advice please (Preview) I am an adult daughter of an alcoholic. My father was the alcoholic. He passed away 6 years ago. His death was not alcohol related. He was 87 and had other health problems. My mother is now 92 and in a care home. My father stopped drinking 20 years before his death, but he had an addictive personalit...	daughter52	7	791	Dec 28, 2015 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change 12-28 (Preview) C2C 12-28 speaks about sponsorship and how important it is to our recovery. It is here in this relationship that we can learn to trust another and learn to receive love .Watching and experiencing Someone who demonstrates unconditional love and takes care of themselves and offers support wi...	hotrod	1	454	Dec 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	My abf I don't even think he can hold down a full time job and coming here he is making me sick with his actions . (Preview) I find another needle or syringe hidden where I was cleaning at this makes several times I found his syringes put in hideous places ,this morning I threw it at him and he tried to denie it so when I told him what I thought he said he had to do it to put up with my bxxxxing ,everyday I said you kept doing the same o...	lookingup	2	576	Dec 28, 2015 by lookingup
	completely new to this (Preview) I am not even sure how to begin. I have an AH of 20 years. I always knew there was a problem, but chose to ignore it and try to make life as normal as possible for the kids. There have been some really, really bad times. Not surprising, things have gotten worse for all of us. His drinking problem has resulted i...	JL969803	6	627	Dec 28, 2015 by JL969803
	When you know..... (Preview) your friend has depression and anxiety. Clear as day to me. Clinical depression....undiagnosed...or diagnosed but doesn't keep up with the meds he should be taking to help him through it. And massive anxiety but doesn't keep up with same. Doesn't bother to find a good therapist to talk through...	sandollars	19	996	Dec 28, 2015 by hotrod
	Glad Christmas is over in laws holidays in-laws spending time with in-laws (Preview) i spent Christmas with my husband and his daughter and his sister and brother. I grew up in a alcoholic home. Something triggered me at my sister in laws. She had photos of my husbands first wife and photos of his first wedding and no photos of me and my husband. It was weird. I felt uncomfortable. I...	Prayer warrior	3	6643	Dec 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	Okay... (Preview) I haven't been able to post in a very long time. At least 18 months. Not sure why I'm avoiding it. I think its got a little bit to do with my being an empath. That means I feel the pain of others in a deep and literal sense. Between the tremendous amount of pain I sense here, and read in the words you write, a...	John	13	738	Dec 27, 2015 by Southerngirl
	C2C Reading 12-27 (Preview) C2C continues to speak about how our attitudes can change, so we can live with serenity and wisdom The reading for today 12-27 speaks about keeping an open mind so that, by listening to the ideas of others and sharing opinions, we can grow in wisdom and see that there are various ways of looking a...	hotrod	2	453	Dec 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	checking in (Preview) the first week and half in my new place has had its ups and downs but mostly i was able to solve all my issues. the lanon tools have helped lot. like for overcoming fear, being grateful and first things first when i felt overwhelmed. i did almost get myself in a mess of this old boyfriend who came into my life...	YARNCRAZY	6	487	Dec 27, 2015 by hotrod
	Rough night last night .. (Preview) I had a nightmare I haven't had for a long time about my XS/dad. He was a drug addict (my term script drugs) and a definite alcoholic. Anyway, don't want to bore with the details, I about woke up in a panic attack and literally had to talk myself down because I was shaking so bad. As bad as this is I had to re...	SerenityRUS	4	700	Dec 27, 2015 by pinkchip
	I feel stuck... (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. I've been to meetings once or twice over the years and I plan to begin again. My husband of 6 years is an alcoholic. in July began his most recent round of residential treatment and was sober for 4 months. The longest it's ever been. It was wonderful. I mean -- everything I've been waiting...	what2do	5	580	Dec 27, 2015 by Mirandac
	I'm new to this...and a little nervous (Preview) I've been growing concerned about my husband's increased use of alcohol and smoking. i feel responsible for protecting our children, his parents, my parents, friends etc. i can often just forgive the inappropriate behavior and move on trying to normalize things. But it's becoming increasing...	Irishmama	5	450	Dec 27, 2015 by Mermaid4
	Son feels responsible (Preview) Ok, everyone. I just need to pour out my pain for my son so please bear with me. He is really struggling. Every time he comes home from my XAH's house, he seems more emotional and confused and angry. His dad isn't just an alcoholic, he's also very negative and keeps the news on 24/7 and rants and raves a...	andromeda	5	658	Dec 27, 2015 by andromeda
	After the kids and I left for a hotel 3 days before Christmas (Preview) It was the first real boundary I had ever set and stuck by with no hesitation. Coming home from a morning Alanon meeting to find my husband drunk at 10:30 am and my kids home on Christmas break unsettled and uncomfortable after too many times seeing their dad like this, I told him I wanted him to go somewhe...	Mermaid4	1	379	Dec 27, 2015 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 12-26 (Preview) C2C reading 12-26 speaks about having choices. In alanon we learn not to be door mats but to get up off the floor, and make a choice for ourselves. We are not victims and we do have a choice in every situation. We must resist the temptation to blame others but to look to ourselves for my part and see how...	hotrod	3	599	Dec 27, 2015 by flinn66
	what are the reasons to stay? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I'm curious about why people stay with alcoholic husbands or wives, especially when they are not in recovery. Why do you stay? I'm not criticising your choice, I'd just like to understand the motives to stay in such a situation. -- Edited by hiraeth on Wednesday 11th of November 2015 01:43:42 AM	hiraeth	40	1650	Dec 26, 2015 by HopeForJoy
	Always something new to learn (open AA meetings) (Preview) When I started in Al-Anon, I was in a city where there were many step-focused meetings, and most meetings had a few people who had been in Al-Anon for 5+ years (in some cases, 20+ years). When I came back to Al-Anon, I really wanted to come back to that, but... In the city I am in now, there are a lot of "g...	atheos	7	2019	Dec 26, 2015 by hotrod
	Our alcoholic son (Preview) Christmas was a dramatic affair, as all our son's visits are. He doesn't drink while he's here, that we know of, but his anger has everybody walking on eggshells to avoid his wrath. 'Nobody does anything right. His kids won't behave and it's our fault. We don't love him as much as we love our other son, wh...	Musicmama	2	453	Dec 26, 2015 by Iamhere
	How do we go on from here? (Preview) So a quick recap of my situation is that my 3 children's dad is addicted to drugs (heroin) and has been for years now. He has been to rehab for 6 months, various shorter stints and tried to detox at home himself numerous times... Needless to say none of it has worked. He used to have contact with his childr...	hastingsmum	3	549	Dec 26, 2015 by Iamhere
	Ready to learn how to dis-enable (Preview) I have passive-aggressive tendencies but it's been building and building, this watching my Mom's symptoms of alcoholism present themselves again for the past I-don't-even-know how many months. I have no "evidence" other than my gut, her behavior, the way her speech looks, her eyes...	release_me	4	690	Dec 26, 2015 by maryjane
	Donation Light is lite again, please contribute. (Preview) Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...	John	1	352	Dec 26, 2015 by hotrod
	Holiday argh (Preview) Although my ex-AH never went into longterm recovery, he is a binge drinker, so generally I don't have to deal with his drinking. He goes long periods between binges, and during the binges he just doesn't surface, so the drinking isn't in my face. We have to see each other because of our child, but he ha...	Mattie	10	761	Dec 26, 2015 by Mattie
	Fake it till you make it. (Preview) This slogan seems to be a love it or hate it type deal; personally I love it. Over time, others have expressed quite validly that to them it feels like continuing behaving in a disingenuous manner, a behavior they are trying to break away from. So I thought I'd express how it worked for me (and still work...	missmeliss	5	1121	Dec 26, 2015 by OceanTide
	a christmas first (Preview) Well im 44 yo and in the process of divorcing my ah of 17 yrs. Im currently in a guest bedroom at my parents home on christmas eve. I am living with friends but decided they shoukd have family time i graciously agreed to.let my ah have our daughter for christmas eve and the next mirning as he has been going to...	Theoceancalls	3	606	Dec 26, 2015 by maryjane
	Cruel "friend" who gives me advice on how to live my life. Is it abuse? (Preview) Hi, this is my first post here. Thanks so much for listening (reading). I have been in Al-Anon for a little over four years and it's done wonderful things for me. My primary qualifier is my ex (thank God!) AH. I have just recently decided to wade into dating again, for reasons that I am really not sure o...	annief	6	700	Dec 26, 2015 by annief
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.