I will give background information. I was 25 years old when I met my first husband. It was love at first sight! He physically abused me yet we got married. That lasted 7 months and he left December 1st. Never saw him again. We eventually got divorced. I saw issues with him. He could not hold down a job, and drank a lot. When I met him he was living with his parents. 25 years later, he is back living with his parents, and no job and depressed. Not much has changed with him except he got remarried and had a child. We started talking on Facebook again 4 years ago and it was fantastic. I however, saw he was hot and cold toward me. One day he would be sweet and charming the next distant and we would loose contact again. He kept asking me to come and see him 3000 miles away across the country. I could not do it. Meanwhile, I went back to school graduated with a university degree, had 2 children, remarried and divorced again and maintained a job. The last Facebook time we had was again fantastic. I laughed and had a great time with him and he apologized for hitting me. But he was still drinking and found inconsistencies with what he would say. My mind began to try and figure this out. It was the same thing, come and see me, I am financially broke, I am alone. It was like he was looking for a mother to care for him. It sounded so good. I felt really happy for a moment and again noticed the hot cold action again. One day he would be sweet and charming the next day distant and did not want to talk. I was not on Facebook the one day he was on and had gone to bed early as I was tired. He left me a message saying why are you not on and then blocked me. I have not spoken to him since that was 3 weeks ago. Yesterday, I felt a calm about this man, the first time in 25 years. I felt I finally let go. It was really over and I can move on. I did not have to hold on anymore, I did not have to see what could be. I came to a complete acceptance of its done. maybe I had to keep him in my heart as I felt like there was unfinished business still. Now i feel its really done and I feel free. I feel like he died and is gone. There is no need to keep searching for him or wanting to be with him. Its finally over. I have peace and acceptance. Its a freeing feeling. I feel I can move forward now and not keep looking backwards to see if he is there. Its a great feeling.