Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

pinkchip · pinkchip

Have any of you had a qualifier that was so depressed damaged from addiction/laziness that they were utterly lacking in self care, no bathing, shoving disrty dishes under the bed, in the trash...moldy food every where. No amount of talking is working. This is in a rehab. 19 year old girl. I think we are...

andromeda · andromeda

Or maybe a pink one, lol? I recently expressed to my bf that he hurt my feelings. He immediately told me that I shouldn't feel that way because it wasn't a big deal. I told him, "Quit telling me how I should or shouldn't feel!!!" We had a brief discussion and he thinks I should have understood his posit...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

When doves cry! I am saddened today by the loss of a man & artist who was the background of my young life. I was just a teen when the man hit this world w his music & message. I was moved by the music. The song When Doves Cry was a definite meaningful song w lyrics that include maybe you are just like my m...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family - Happy Friday - TGIF... The reading for today discusses the first three steps of Al-Anon and how important they are as a spiritual foundation for the remaining steps. We are asked to focus and work on these three steps to help us be thorough and grounded before we move to Step 4,...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

Sorry that I haven't been around much. Thankfully, I have been extremely busy, and things have been pretty good. It's been 16 days since my AH had a drink. He has continued to do his program, and is leading the two of us in prayer at least twice a day. We have been doing devotionals together too. Quite fran...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I am annoyed. I just had a tooth pulled but thats not why im annoyed. I woke up in the middle of the nite thinking that something was wrong with the divorce papers. So I called my lawyer. Seems my x sis in law who was supposed to serve the papers since she says that they will only allow her to see soon to be XAH wh...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

So, I am not living with my dry AH who has no recovery. We are living in different places . At my insistence, we do not communicate except email. If there is no drama in his life he will make it so no phone calls is better for me. Since I left he has (MDD) major depression, sees professionals and is consum...

lookingup · lookingup

it just don't seem right that I should put up with a addict sisters behavior it don't never stop comes and goes ,and it's all so crazy ,listens in on my conversations and even gets so ugly at me on ph that I hang up,she gets so messed up on her drugs that she turns on me,I got our brother down for a few days he has...

FHP · FHP

Last week, my husband's sponsor told him we shouldn't talk at all except via text, and even then only about logistics, because the way it has been, every few days he suddenly gets angry at me out of the blue and that triggers my chronic illness and I get sicker. His sponsor said we need space so we can both h...

Tiger Lady · Tiger Lady

Hi all, this is my first attempt at anything Al-anon. My work schedule is crazy and when I am off work I have kids to watch or AH goes to a meeting, so that leaves me with no opportunity for home town meetings. I keep wanting to join in the weeknight meetings on this site but haven't made it home in time yet. I'...

JuliAn1413 · JuliAn1413

I feel scared. I finally "get" how serious an enabler I have been with my Adult Child and I don't know how to transition in the midst of everything. I feel very strongly that if I had set boundaries earlier that things would have been better and my son would be in a healthier place. No matter what anyone...

a4l · a4l

Well, a huge weight has been lifted today. Today i received some official mail and found myself immediately doing what I imagine a normal person would do. I picked up my phone and called to sort things out. Its a child support matter. I had to call my country of origin, and honestly even hearing the kiwi a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family and happy Thursday to one and all.... Today's Courage to Change reading discusses the unity we can discover through diversity in Al-Anon. We learn from Tradition 4 that each group is autonomous - free to conduct meetings in a way that works for it's members as long as it abides...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi all, In doing some Step 4 inventory work, I have been working on getting more clear on my value system. My exBF and I had differing interests - I am an 'athlete', a runner, I workout, I'm a personal trainer. He likes sports, he plays golf, he likes to do things around his house. I believe our relation...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

My AH has been sober for a few months after a brief relapse in November. I know there are times when I would like to know if he has been drinking due to his behavior, however I also know that this same thing occurs on days when there was no way he could have had a drink. EVERY NIGHT, typically at about dinn...

Lupo · Lupo

So it's been a long time since I have been on this site. My alcoholic/addict wife has had many relapses over the yers, some. About a year ago I got my own place due to her heavy drinking and using at home, after about 6 months of living separately and her with some clean time she gradually started to move bac...

Doves · Doves

The other night my son started ranting at me because I refuse to help him get out of the huge mess he knowingly and consciously chose to put himself in knowing the what the full consequences would be should he be caught which he was. He tried all the guilt trips, asked me why I ever became a mother ( yeah beca...

Jerry F · Jerry F

...not so much for me and for a program sister who is going to be going thru yet another open heart surgery which comes with a lack of confidence from her surgeons. Her name is Robin and she has triple decades of sobriety. She is a mutually supportive sister and a double winner and is going over to Maui...

Bianca75 · Bianca75

It seems like most of you are dealing with an alcoholic partner, spouse, or parent. Is there anyone else who is parent to an alcoholic teen? You can't just leave a child even if they are tearing you up inside. I feel intolerably trapped. Some days the grief is unbearable.

Sara in CO · Sara in CO

Well. This is my first post ever to any Alanon board or site. And all I can say is I'm terrified to go to my first meeting. I try to tell myself in not codependent, but I know in my heart I'm terrified of letting go. My biggest fear is just letting my A husband do what he wants. And him taking full advantage. ...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C talks abot learning that it's safe to be ourselves in al-anon. The writer shares that they feel they can share embarrassing secrets they once kept carefully hidden with their al-anon friends, where once they would keep quiet at all costs. They also share that once they refused to smile be...

Aerin · Aerin

So for the past 6 months A really seemed to be making real progress trying to make changes, and was doing pretty good. But his His rational is that he def doesnt need AA, but that he is going to quit on own by drinking less and the days in between drinking binges will get longer until he stops. (he promises he...

missmeliss · missmeliss

As I've mentioned, daughter's father, Faceache, has organised to take daughter on a family vacation that causes her to miss school every year since she was 5. Anyway it's made me angry for a long time; we have school holidays 4 times a year here and it's extremely simple to organise vacations during th...

BeYoutiful · BeYoutiful

I've been with my alcoholic boyfriend (AB?) for about 7 months now. The first 3 months I was clueless. I knew something was up because he had mentioned that he USED TO be an alcoholic, but it wasn't until me and his mom took him to the emergency room in December and found out that his BAL was 8 times over th...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

My company decided to run a thorough background check on all employees. Mine turned up something that shouldn't be there. I haven't been fired - but I can't go to work until it gets straightened out. Who knows how long that will take? I can't afford to miss much work - just missing today is going to ma...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello my MIP family. I wanted to share some things that have happened in my life recently. First, during this month, I lost it badly over an employment decision my RAH was thinking of. I simply could not deal with the proposed change he was considering. No matter how hard I tried to respect him and le...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Good Monday morning all, I've been doing some Step 4 work around my tendency to people please, to the degree that I sometimes give up my own value system or self discipline in order to 'go along with' others. Rather than speak up and say what I mean and mean what I say, even if it is 'unpopular', I am the ni...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

My communication (emails) with my boyfriend are causing me confusion. He has 'explanations' for every one of my concerns, and he feels I have drawn 'wild conclusions' and that I continue to attack his character and judge him as an 'addict' unfairly. He has already acknowledged that the pot was rec...

lookingup · lookingup

A/sis has been on a war path I told her to move out again to no avail except that I couldn't make her leave cause she got mail coming here with her name on it she done that soon after moving in she put in for a change of address and then her mail filled up my mailbox wished I'd told her to get her a p.o. Box now to lat...

Fedora · Fedora

Today I visited with a friend who I've been close to for most of my life. However, in the last year I have kept most of the talk about my AH out of our conversations. I decided that I was tired of saying "everything is GREAT" when she asked about my life. So I told her what was Really going on with the spouse, th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- This reading is about how for some of us recovery was imagined with a 'finish line'. If we just did what we were supposed to do, at some point we would graduate from Alanon and really start living our lives! The writer points out that after a couple of years in the program charact...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi all, today I received an email from my now ex boyfriend. I wanted to share an example of what makes me so confused. Essentially he feels I betrayed him and attacked his character unfairly. That I 'pretended' to go along with his 'habits' all along and suddenly did an about face after my heart attac...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c suggests listing all of the things we feel we need, but have been denied by others, such as respect, affection, communication, etc. It suggests we then consider that we CAN have these things if we are willing to give what we want to receive, and be what we want to attract. In reviewing this...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

I have no problem at all admitting that I'm powerless over alcohol. I can control my drinking because I'm not an alcoholic and I rarely drink - when I do, its usually not more than a wine cooler or two. I know that I can't control my boyfriend's drinking. If he decides to drink again, that's on him and th...

Jennyp · Jennyp

I have been attending weekly FTF meetings for abut a month now and I cannot express how much these , along with this board,have helped me. I was overwhelmed at the beginning from really reading too much literature and now stick to a topic or reading a day. I compare my thinking now to almost a fog being lif...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - off to Florida I went and had a lovely time. The wedding was awesome, my nephew and his bride were adorable and all went well. I went on a few 'field trips' that were not in my wheel-house because it seemed like the right thing to do. I did not get enough sleep, as we know happens but it was awesome! My n...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

I participated in an online alanon meeting earlier. In the beginning, they asked for new people to introduce themselves and give a short description of their qualifier and how he/she acts. Someone told me that I didn't really belong in alanon because I'm not being abused or mistreated and his drin...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Good to have you here. I got good stuff from your share so am grateful and open to more...((((hugs))))

lookingup · lookingup

Well my abf moved on yesterday 1st time he has ever moved out of here without me telling him to leave,but he had no choice but to leave which I am happy and I should be happy that he done it on his own,its all legal reasons he left ,and never will he be able to come back to my place to live ever again,wow I can see m...

marie57 · marie57

My 24 year old son is drinking himself to death. I endured my husband's alcoholism for 30 years and now that he sees how badly his son his destroying himself, husband is barely drinking. I dont want to watch my son's drinking. I feel stuck and depressed. This has been going on for a year and a half. I am angr...

hotrod · hotrod

I am confused about which additional C2C date I volunteered to post. S ince ist has not been posted for today I will do so. The C2C reading for April 13 speaks about responding to situations with kindness and courtesy . It points out that we can decide to always "place principles above personality...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is actually just for the moment comment. I know that I am not perfect. Even when I make mistakes I realize that the one who is criticizing me is not perfect either. I guess my AH is still reaching for perfection in me. I am constantly apologizing for whatever he finds wrong w/ me. And, I still find myse...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 15 suggests that many of us come to Al-Anon looking for answers to perplexing problems such as should I leave the alcoholic and how can I resolve the financial, legal or medical problems? How can I stop abusive behavior? Al-Anon's position is that we must each find our own an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Not much to say today. I just want to say HI to everyone! Kathleen

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 16 speaks about the pain that we are experiencing when we first enter the program. It points out that this pain enables us to open our minds and hearts to whatever the program and the members are sharing with us. It suggests that we soon discover that what we go through in life is...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

I know it's not realistic to expect everything to be rosy and perfect once you choose to follow AA or Al-Anon. However, you hope that the residual effects could hold off a little, until you feel more confident. It's been 12 days since our "life changing" night...the last night my AH drank, and the nigh...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C speaks of how, after spending some time in al-anon, we begin to notice when our thoughts turn negative and we engage in "stinkin thinkin". We feel uncomfortable yet, simply being aware of the thoughts is not enough to remove them; we need to replace them with positive thoughts. The readin...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi everyone, Just checking in. I've been in touch with my sponsor this morning, read my daily readings, cried a little bit and over all feel somewhat 'paralyzed' today. I find my thoughts drifting to 'him' and wondering how he is doing - is he feeling as sad, hurt and grief-filled as I do? Or is he mad...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 17 speaks about the difficulty in making decisions because we worry about making others happy, and try to make sure everyone will be happy with the decision. We think there is a perfect way to do things and it is our responsibility to find it . This reading focuses on the Tradi...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi everyone, I finally had the hard conversation with my boyfriend about my concerns. He asked me what was going on lately so I finally told him that since my heart attack, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life in general, and that includes evaluating our relationship. I told him I have conce...

Aerin · Aerin

For those with biological children and married and financial obligations with the "A" (alcoholic right?) I can see how leaving is a huge decision. I was married for 15yrs to my ex (we share 50/50 with our teen) and our divorce had nothing to do with any substance issue, we (me mainly) just grew apart. An...

lookingup · lookingup

My a/brother which is early 50s has exhausted and burn up all his bridges,his daughter and wife had given him 1000s of chances to get straight to no avail so they gave him a one way ticket to Dallas Texas where he knows nobody and sent him on his way,I haven't spoken or seen him in 6 yrs because of his steali...

Doves · Doves

I've been wrestling with the difference between detachment and ignoring. I find it hard to differentiate detachment from ignoring the behaviour. Because of that I feel my detachment techniques are not healthy. What does healthy detachment look and feel like?

Rebounder · Rebounder

I'm a certified dog trainer. Today on our morning walk, my stupid big dog grabbed a chicken bone. He would not drop it. He growled at me. I did what I learned and held on to the end that was sticking out of his mouth. I did not let go. I relaxed everything else. I calmly decided that he could bite me if he wanted...

Doves · Doves

My son is out in his fake plated , uninsured car without his full license with his " friends " . He has to go to work at his part time job tonight until 3 AM and I know he will give his car that he worked hard to buy to his "friend " to drive for the night until my son gets off work as he has done this every night he's ha...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

My ex had a meth addiction. He would get high and then come down and beat the crap out of me. I feel like I enabled him in a way. I believed his promises and his lies - because I wanted to believe the, even though deep down, I knew the truth. My boyfriend now is an alcoholic. But, I refuse to be the same way wi...

Fooled · Fooled

My A and I had couples counseling with our pastor last night. For the last couple of sessions I have felt confused afterwards but in these sessions is pretty much the only time my A is open and honest enough to have a meaningful conversation. So last nights topic was fulfilling each others needs....T...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

I've had insomnia issues for years. Anxiety is a big trigger, but sometimes I don't feel anxious about anything and still can't sleep. Right now I know its because I'm excited and anxious about seeing pictures of my daughter. I've barely slept for the past 4 nights in a row. Something's gotta give...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Back on the merry-go-round. He's made himself sick again. Pancreatitis. The first time it happened he swore off the booze. He relapsed. The second time...honestly I don't remember what he said, it was about a year ago.I knew he'd been drinking for the past several months. I've been working on mys...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61986980/alanon...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Question (Preview) Have any of you had a qualifier that was so depressed damaged from addiction/laziness that they were utterly lacking in self care, no bathing, shoving disrty dishes under the bed, in the trash...moldy food every where. No amount of talking is working. This is in a rehab. 19 year old girl. I think we are...	pinkchip	24	903	Apr 22, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Would this be a red flag to you? (Preview) Or maybe a pink one, lol? I recently expressed to my bf that he hurt my feelings. He immediately told me that I shouldn't feel that way because it wasn't a big deal. I told him, "Quit telling me how I should or shouldn't feel!!!" We had a brief discussion and he thinks I should have understood his posit...	andromeda	12	701	Apr 22, 2016 by Breakingfree
	this is what it sounds like... (Preview) When doves cry! I am saddened today by the loss of a man & artist who was the background of my young life. I was just a teen when the man hit this world w his music & message. I was moved by the music. The song When Doves Cry was a definite meaningful song w lyrics that include maybe you are just like my m...	Hoot Nanny	7	507	Apr 22, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/22/2016 (Preview) Good morning MIP family - Happy Friday - TGIF... The reading for today discusses the first three steps of Al-Anon and how important they are as a spiritual foundation for the remaining steps. We are asked to focus and work on these three steps to help us be thorough and grounded before we move to Step 4,...	Iamhere	2	540	Apr 22, 2016 by missmeliss
	16 Days dry, and all is pretty okay. (Preview) Sorry that I haven't been around much. Thankfully, I have been extremely busy, and things have been pretty good. It's been 16 days since my AH had a drink. He has continued to do his program, and is leading the two of us in prayer at least twice a day. We have been doing devotionals together too. Quite fran...	sweetness34	4	587	Apr 22, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	Annoyed (Preview) I am annoyed. I just had a tooth pulled but thats not why im annoyed. I woke up in the middle of the nite thinking that something was wrong with the divorce papers. So I called my lawyer. Seems my x sis in law who was supposed to serve the papers since she says that they will only allow her to see soon to be XAH wh...	YARNCRAZY	3	460	Apr 21, 2016 by hotrod
	Letting go and letting God? (Preview) So, I am not living with my dry AH who has no recovery. We are living in different places . At my insistence, we do not communicate except email. If there is no drama in his life he will make it so no phone calls is better for me. Since I left he has (MDD) major depression, sees professionals and is consum...	pjwa12726	4	549	Apr 21, 2016 by pjwa12726
	Venting (Preview) it just don't seem right that I should put up with a addict sisters behavior it don't never stop comes and goes ,and it's all so crazy ,listens in on my conversations and even gets so ugly at me on ph that I hang up,she gets so messed up on her drugs that she turns on me,I got our brother down for a few days he has...	lookingup	3	348	Apr 21, 2016 by lookingup
	I don't understand what's happening (Preview) Last week, my husband's sponsor told him we shouldn't talk at all except via text, and even then only about logistics, because the way it has been, every few days he suddenly gets angry at me out of the blue and that triggers my chronic illness and I get sicker. His sponsor said we need space so we can both h...	FHP	13	747	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	Lost newbie (Preview) Hi all, this is my first attempt at anything Al-anon. My work schedule is crazy and when I am off work I have kids to watch or AH goes to a meeting, so that leaves me with no opportunity for home town meetings. I keep wanting to join in the weeknight meetings on this site but haven't made it home in time yet. I'...	Tiger Lady	3	468	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	I need help (Preview) I feel scared. I finally "get" how serious an enabler I have been with my Adult Child and I don't know how to transition in the midst of everything. I feel very strongly that if I had set boundaries earlier that things would have been better and my son would be in a healthier place. No matter what anyone...	JuliAn1413	8	518	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	a bit of progress (Preview) Well, a huge weight has been lifted today. Today i received some official mail and found myself immediately doing what I imagine a normal person would do. I picked up my phone and called to sort things out. Its a child support matter. I had to call my country of origin, and honestly even hearing the kiwi a...	a4l	4	428	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/21/2016 (Preview) Good morning MIP family and happy Thursday to one and all.... Today's Courage to Change reading discusses the unity we can discover through diversity in Al-Anon. We learn from Tradition 4 that each group is autonomous - free to conduct meetings in a way that works for it's members as long as it abides...	Iamhere	4	356	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	Shared Values in Relationships (Preview) Hi all, In doing some Step 4 inventory work, I have been working on getting more clear on my value system. My exBF and I had differing interests - I am an 'athlete', a runner, I workout, I'm a personal trainer. He likes sports, he plays golf, he likes to do things around his house. I believe our relation...	CyndiODAT	4	702	Apr 21, 2016 by Bethany66
	Nightly Fights - Sober (Preview) My AH has been sober for a few months after a brief relapse in November. I know there are times when I would like to know if he has been drinking due to his behavior, however I also know that this same thing occurs on days when there was no way he could have had a drink. EVERY NIGHT, typically at about dinn...	EarlyBird	3	504	Apr 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	What to do now. (Preview) So it's been a long time since I have been on this site. My alcoholic/addict wife has had many relapses over the yers, some. About a year ago I got my own place due to her heavy drinking and using at home, after about 6 months of living separately and her with some clean time she gradually started to move bac...	Lupo	5	369	Apr 21, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Feeling like others are threatened by my recovery (Preview) The other night my son started ranting at me because I refuse to help him get out of the huge mess he knowingly and consciously chose to put himself in knowing the what the full consequences would be should he be caught which he was. He tried all the guilt trips, asked me why I ever became a mother ( yeah beca...	Doves	3	436	Apr 21, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	I'm asking for support (Preview) ...not so much for me and for a program sister who is going to be going thru yet another open heart surgery which comes with a lack of confidence from her surgeons. Her name is Robin and she has triple decades of sobriety. She is a mutually supportive sister and a double winner and is going over to Maui...	Jerry F	21	844	Apr 21, 2016 by Jerry F
	Alcoholic son (Preview) It seems like most of you are dealing with an alcoholic partner, spouse, or parent. Is there anyone else who is parent to an alcoholic teen? You can't just leave a child even if they are tearing you up inside. I feel intolerably trapped. Some days the grief is unbearable.	Bianca75	11	542	Apr 20, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	New. Lost. Scared. (Preview) Well. This is my first post ever to any Alanon board or site. And all I can say is I'm terrified to go to my first meeting. I try to tell myself in not codependent, but I know in my heart I'm terrified of letting go. My biggest fear is just letting my A husband do what he wants. And him taking full advantage. ...	Sara in CO	8	517	Apr 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to change 20/4 (Preview) Today's C2C talks abot learning that it's safe to be ourselves in al-anon. The writer shares that they feel they can share embarrassing secrets they once kept carefully hidden with their al-anon friends, where once they would keep quiet at all costs. They also share that once they refused to smile be...	missmeliss	3	400	Apr 20, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	He seems to be going backwards! (Preview) So for the past 6 months A really seemed to be making real progress trying to make changes, and was doing pretty good. But his His rational is that he def doesnt need AA, but that he is going to quit on own by drinking less and the days in between drinking binges will get longer until he stops. (he promises he...	Aerin	9	559	Apr 20, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Here we go again. (Preview) As I've mentioned, daughter's father, Faceache, has organised to take daughter on a family vacation that causes her to miss school every year since she was 5. Anyway it's made me angry for a long time; we have school holidays 4 times a year here and it's extremely simple to organise vacations during th...	missmeliss	8	786	Apr 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Don't Know What to do (Preview) I've been with my alcoholic boyfriend (AB?) for about 7 months now. The first 3 months I was clueless. I knew something was up because he had mentioned that he USED TO be an alcoholic, but it wasn't until me and his mom took him to the emergency room in December and found out that his BAL was 8 times over th...	BeYoutiful	4	448	Apr 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Can't Catch A Break (Preview) My company decided to run a thorough background check on all employees. Mine turned up something that shouldn't be there. I haven't been fired - but I can't go to work until it gets straightened out. Who knows how long that will take? I can't afford to miss much work - just missing today is going to ma...	WhiskeyLullabye	5	631	Apr 19, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	Very emotional weekend after strange and emotional month. (Preview) Hello my MIP family. I wanted to share some things that have happened in my life recently. First, during this month, I lost it badly over an employment decision my RAH was thinking of. I simply could not deal with the proposed change he was considering. No matter how hard I tried to respect him and le...	Doingmybest	5	401	Apr 19, 2016 by hotrod
	People pleasing, saying 'NO' (Preview) Good Monday morning all, I've been doing some Step 4 work around my tendency to people please, to the degree that I sometimes give up my own value system or self discipline in order to 'go along with' others. Rather than speak up and say what I mean and mean what I say, even if it is 'unpopular', I am the ni...	CyndiODAT	9	1018	Apr 19, 2016 by missmeliss
	Confused (Preview) My communication (emails) with my boyfriend are causing me confusion. He has 'explanations' for every one of my concerns, and he feels I have drawn 'wild conclusions' and that I continue to attack his character and judge him as an 'addict' unfairly. He has already acknowledged that the pot was rec...	CyndiODAT	15	490	Apr 19, 2016 by Mattie
	Forgot my toolkit,needs organised . (Preview) A/sis has been on a war path I told her to move out again to no avail except that I couldn't make her leave cause she got mail coming here with her name on it she done that soon after moving in she put in for a change of address and then her mail filled up my mailbox wished I'd told her to get her a p.o. Box now to lat...	lookingup	4	433	Apr 19, 2016 by Taraxacum
	friends who already knew ... and why do I keep having the same conversations with AH? (Preview) Today I visited with a friend who I've been close to for most of my life. However, in the last year I have kept most of the talk about my AH out of our conversations. I decided that I was tired of saying "everything is GREAT" when she asked about my life. So I told her what was Really going on with the spouse, th...	Fedora	7	469	Apr 19, 2016 by milkwood
	Hope for Today Apr 19 (Preview) Good morning everyone- This reading is about how for some of us recovery was imagined with a 'finish line'. If we just did what we were supposed to do, at some point we would graduate from Alanon and really start living our lives! The writer points out that after a couple of years in the program charact...	yanksfan51	4	332	Apr 19, 2016 by andromeda
	What to make of this? (Preview) Hi all, today I received an email from my now ex boyfriend. I wanted to share an example of what makes me so confused. Essentially he feels I betrayed him and attacked his character unfairly. That I 'pretended' to go along with his 'habits' all along and suddenly did an about face after my heart attac...	CyndiODAT	14	541	Apr 19, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Courage to Change 18/4 (Preview) Today's c2c suggests listing all of the things we feel we need, but have been denied by others, such as respect, affection, communication, etc. It suggests we then consider that we CAN have these things if we are willing to give what we want to receive, and be what we want to attract. In reviewing this...	missmeliss	3	438	Apr 18, 2016 by yanksfan51
	Step 1 Question (Preview) I have no problem at all admitting that I'm powerless over alcohol. I can control my drinking because I'm not an alcoholic and I rarely drink - when I do, its usually not more than a wine cooler or two. I know that I can't control my boyfriend's drinking. If he decides to drink again, that's on him and th...	WhiskeyLullabye	3	1471	Apr 18, 2016 by yanksfan51
	fog slowly lifting (Preview) I have been attending weekly FTF meetings for abut a month now and I cannot express how much these , along with this board,have helped me. I was overwhelmed at the beginning from really reading too much literature and now stick to a topic or reading a day. I compare my thinking now to almost a fog being lif...	Jennyp	8	394	Apr 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Great Wedding, Great Trip - Glad to be Home (Preview) So - off to Florida I went and had a lovely time. The wedding was awesome, my nephew and his bride were adorable and all went well. I went on a few 'field trips' that were not in my wheel-house because it seemed like the right thing to do. I did not get enough sleep, as we know happens but it was awesome! My n...	Iamhere	8	553	Apr 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Online Alanon Meeting (Preview) I participated in an online alanon meeting earlier. In the beginning, they asked for new people to introduce themselves and give a short description of their qualifier and how he/she acts. Someone told me that I didn't really belong in alanon because I'm not being abused or mistreated and his drin...	WhiskeyLullabye	13	600	Apr 18, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Welcome Newnoz (Preview) Good to have you here. I got good stuff from your share so am grateful and open to more...((((hugs))))	Jerry F	4	585	Apr 17, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	Abf is gone (Preview) Well my abf moved on yesterday 1st time he has ever moved out of here without me telling him to leave,but he had no choice but to leave which I am happy and I should be happy that he done it on his own,its all legal reasons he left ,and never will he be able to come back to my place to live ever again,wow I can see m...	lookingup	7	584	Apr 17, 2016 by lookingup
	Wanting to leave (Preview) My 24 year old son is drinking himself to death. I endured my husband's alcoholism for 30 years and now that he sees how badly his son his destroying himself, husband is barely drinking. I dont want to watch my son's drinking. I feel stuck and depressed. This has been going on for a year and a half. I am angr...	marie57	5	495	Apr 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 4-13-2016 (Preview) I am confused about which additional C2C date I volunteered to post. S ince ist has not been posted for today I will do so. The C2C reading for April 13 speaks about responding to situations with kindness and courtesy . It points out that we can decide to always "place principles above personality...	hotrod	11	642	Apr 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	so what is so wrong w/ being not-so-perfect? (Preview) This is actually just for the moment comment. I know that I am not perfect. Even when I make mistakes I realize that the one who is criticizing me is not perfect either. I guess my AH is still reaching for perfection in me. I am constantly apologizing for whatever he finds wrong w/ me. And, I still find myse...	Hoot Nanny	4	403	Apr 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 4-15-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 15 suggests that many of us come to Al-Anon looking for answers to perplexing problems such as should I leave the alcoholic and how can I resolve the financial, legal or medical problems? How can I stop abusive behavior? Al-Anon's position is that we must each find our own an...	hotrod	2	356	Apr 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	just stopped by to say HI! (Preview) Not much to say today. I just want to say HI to everyone! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	5	377	Apr 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 4-16-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 16 speaks about the pain that we are experiencing when we first enter the program. It points out that this pain enables us to open our minds and hearts to whatever the program and the members are sharing with us. It suggests that we soon discover that what we go through in life is...	hotrod	3	415	Apr 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Dealing with the residual effects (Preview) I know it's not realistic to expect everything to be rosy and perfect once you choose to follow AA or Al-Anon. However, you hope that the residual effects could hold off a little, until you feel more confident. It's been 12 days since our "life changing" night...the last night my AH drank, and the nigh...	sweetness34	9	543	Apr 17, 2016 by lookingup
	Courage to change 14/4 (Preview) Today's C2C speaks of how, after spending some time in al-anon, we begin to notice when our thoughts turn negative and we engage in "stinkin thinkin". We feel uncomfortable yet, simply being aware of the thoughts is not enough to remove them; we need to replace them with positive thoughts. The readin...	missmeliss	7	604	Apr 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Fake it til you make it.... (Preview) Hi everyone, Just checking in. I've been in touch with my sponsor this morning, read my daily readings, cried a little bit and over all feel somewhat 'paralyzed' today. I find my thoughts drifting to 'him' and wondering how he is doing - is he feeling as sad, hurt and grief-filled as I do? Or is he mad...	CyndiODAT	5	466	Apr 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 4-17-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 17 speaks about the difficulty in making decisions because we worry about making others happy, and try to make sure everyone will be happy with the decision. We think there is a perfect way to do things and it is our responsibility to find it . This reading focuses on the Tradi...	hotrod	1	377	Apr 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	It's Over and Feeling 'crazy' (Preview) Hi everyone, I finally had the hard conversation with my boyfriend about my concerns. He asked me what was going on lately so I finally told him that since my heart attack, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life in general, and that includes evaluating our relationship. I told him I have conce...	CyndiODAT	12	639	Apr 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why do you stay? (Preview) For those with biological children and married and financial obligations with the "A" (alcoholic right?) I can see how leaving is a huge decision. I was married for 15yrs to my ex (we share 50/50 with our teen) and our divorce had nothing to do with any substance issue, we (me mainly) just grew apart. An...	Aerin	14	812	Apr 16, 2016 by jocelgp
	Saddened (Preview) My a/brother which is early 50s has exhausted and burn up all his bridges,his daughter and wife had given him 1000s of chances to get straight to no avail so they gave him a one way ticket to Dallas Texas where he knows nobody and sent him on his way,I haven't spoken or seen him in 6 yrs because of his steali...	lookingup	7	496	Apr 16, 2016 by lookingup
	Detachment vs ignoring (Preview) I've been wrestling with the difference between detachment and ignoring. I find it hard to differentiate detachment from ignoring the behaviour. Because of that I feel my detachment techniques are not healthy. What does healthy detachment look and feel like?	Doves	30	1160	Apr 15, 2016 by sweetness34
	dog training (Preview) I'm a certified dog trainer. Today on our morning walk, my stupid big dog grabbed a chicken bone. He would not drop it. He growled at me. I did what I learned and held on to the end that was sticking out of his mouth. I did not let go. I relaxed everything else. I calmly decided that he could bite me if he wanted...	Rebounder	4	411	Apr 15, 2016 by sweetness34
	Trying so hard to keep my mouth shut! (Preview) My son is out in his fake plated , uninsured car without his full license with his " friends " . He has to go to work at his part time job tonight until 3 AM and I know he will give his car that he worked hard to buy to his "friend " to drive for the night until my son gets off work as he has done this every night he's ha...	Doves	4	442	Apr 15, 2016 by sweetness34
	Just Some Thoughts (Preview) My ex had a meth addiction. He would get high and then come down and beat the crap out of me. I feel like I enabled him in a way. I believed his promises and his lies - because I wanted to believe the, even though deep down, I knew the truth. My boyfriend now is an alcoholic. But, I refuse to be the same way wi...	WhiskeyLullabye	1	308	Apr 15, 2016 by hotrod
	Just trying to break it all down (Preview) My A and I had couples counseling with our pastor last night. For the last couple of sessions I have felt confused afterwards but in these sessions is pretty much the only time my A is open and honest enough to have a meaningful conversation. So last nights topic was fulfilling each others needs....T...	Fooled	22	1067	Apr 15, 2016 by Fooled
	Sleep Problems (Preview) I've had insomnia issues for years. Anxiety is a big trigger, but sometimes I don't feel anxious about anything and still can't sleep. Right now I know its because I'm excited and anxious about seeing pictures of my daughter. I've barely slept for the past 4 nights in a row. Something's gotta give...	WhiskeyLullabye	7	513	Apr 15, 2016 by FHP
	Back again, trying to find the courage to change (Preview) Back on the merry-go-round. He's made himself sick again. Pancreatitis. The first time it happened he swore off the booze. He relapsed. The second time...honestly I don't remember what he said, it was about a year ago.I knew he'd been drinking for the past several months. I've been working on mys...	SpiderArcana	6	648	Apr 15, 2016 by jocelgp
	Step 7 posted (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61986980/alanon...	hotrod	2	373	Apr 14, 2016 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.