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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Abf is gone
Post Info TOPIC: Abf is gone
lookingup


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1008
Date:
Abf is gone
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Well my abf moved on yesterday 1st time he has ever moved out of here without me telling him to leave,but he had no choice but to leave which I am happy and I should be happy that he done it on his own,its all legal reasons he left ,and never will he be able to come back to my place to live ever again,wow I can see my hp working in my life today,for hip knew that this is what it would tame to separate me and abf permanantly,I just could not let go of him on my own no matter how I tried,what a very strange thing that was and life that was with him,going nowhere,yes I'm greiveing myself,today being the 1st whoLe day he has been gone ,I dunno why I'm greiveing ,lol,I didn't lose a gem of any kind,lol,life really just got better I my case so that I can move on in my recovery and let the healing finally begin.so today instead of mopeing all day I'm gonna try copeing instead to get through this greiveing,I know this to shall pass,just missing him so bad ,this is so much best for me ,there still be some contact but it to will eventually pass, wow an 9 year relationship that just wasted my time and breath on,I still got a lot of life left in me just got to learn to use it wisely .i think a good long walk to be very beneficial for me today and take deep breaths,abf kept saying whenever we ha e a spat that I'd miss him when he is gone I didn't believe him,he and me we did baby each other he done a lot for me,but the downside of our relationship far out weighed the good side with his addictions.not counting his constant trouble with the police in this small town,that IVe lived in for 34 yrs.everybody knows everything in small towns .anyway just had to update y'all,with my latest on my relationship......working on me from now on,and only me,there's lots of work on myself thats been needing addressing for so long,and I love single life,never really had it and when I did what little bit I had of the single life I ended up enjoying it like a child exploring a whole new world out there,lol,hated giving it up but like always I did for abf.not no more ,single life here I come......smiles and hugs.....lu



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hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
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((LU)) positive thoughts and prayers on the way I like how you are planning on "coping instead of moping". HP does work in mysterious ways and remember grieving is OK. Be gentle with yourself and continue to use your tools .

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
lookingup


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1008
Date:
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Thanks Betty and I shall use the tools of my program for I do know they work......it's one day,hour,min,however it takes at a time.....hugs lu

__________________

Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 
Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 11569
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LU - from my world too - positive thoughts and prayers for you. One moment at a time is how my healing began!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
CyndiODAT


Senior Member

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Posts: 111
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My past two days have been a range of feelings and moods. I've just kept repeating things to myself like Easy Does It, One Moment At A Time, Keep It Simple...

I am generally very hard on myself and place high expectations of functioning on myself, no matter what the circumstance. I even tried to be 'perfect' at recovering from my little heart attack! Ha! Well... here I am 6 weeks later and feeling humbled and frustrated that I can't just go knock out a 3 mile run. Even going for a little 3 mile walk yesterday with very brief little jogs made my heart rate do some weird things... so I am back to Easy Does It.

The same applies to recovering from the emotional mess of ending a relationship with someone - and then add in the addict component and that makes it even more challenging. Be easy on yourself and just ride with the current- don't try to go against it too much. Time is the magic formula. Fake it til you make it works well, but only when it works well.

Stay close to your program and HP!
Hugs,
Cyndi

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"There will be an answer.  Let it be." ~ The Beatles
Freetime


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1400
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LU, Congratulations on starting a brand new chapter in your life.  "working on me from now on,and only me"... good for you!  You brightened my day by sharing your positive attitude.



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YARNCRAZY


Senior Member

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Posts: 472
Date:
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good for u lookin..u can do it. I did it and while i wont say it hasnt been hard, ive managed quite ok. After all,when u think of it, it was you taking care of you all along. The thing I liked was the clarity of thinking i got back when all the concerns, problems of myXAH were diminished

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ALYCE R KINIKIN
lookingup


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1008
Date:
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Thanks so much for all these much needed and wanted replies,yes I know it's gonna be of huge benefits to me after reading cyndyodat posts I could see my sit more clearly ,ty cyndy for all your posts and I know your sit. Will get better also your strong,I've put myself through a lot over the years with this relationship and in the last 6 mths or so it seems that I've gotten lots weaker scared for my health and I know very well mine is due to staying in such a bad relationship for so long ,I've even had a few episodes with my heart fluttering never done that before and I'm just not feeling as well physically ,due to strain,worry,stress lots of stress.i have picked up walking though,and it seems to be doing me good just hope I haven't waited to late......thanks again and hugs ,and I sure could use all the prayers I can possibly get to stay away from these toxic relationships,their easy to get into but hard as heck to get out of.im a hard greiver......hugs lu

__________________

Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 
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