The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's C2C speaks of how, after spending some time in al-anon, we begin to notice when our thoughts turn negative and we engage in "stinkin thinkin". We feel uncomfortable yet, simply being aware of the thoughts is not enough to remove them; we need to replace them with positive thoughts.
The reading suggests meetings, listening to al-anon speakers on tape in the car or talking one on one to another al-anon member to reinforce positive ways of thinking.
It reminds us to pay attention to what we think, and when we catch ourselves in negative thought patterns, to start over and repeat positive thoughts instead of negative illusions.
The quote, from "In all our affairs," is "what we teach ourselves with our thoughts and attitudes is up to us".
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I personally cannot believe the freedom and happiness I have learned simply by learning that I dont HAVE to be constantly worrying at negative issues or replaying or predicting dramas in my mind over and over. And when I catch myself in a stinkin thinkin session, I find I sort of step back from it now, knowing it will pass and also knowing not to act on those thoughts.
"Pick a slogan" is a habit I picked up from one of my meetings, where we pick the thing worrying us the most at that time and choose the best slogan to apply to it. I do that frequently when I can't seem to switch off the negative voice in my head and, it helps a lot
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Thanks for posting this important reading today Ms. M. I love the quote from In All Our Affairs. "What, we teach ourselves with our thoughts and attitudes is up to us."
I love this concept and tool. I never was focused on my inner voice until alanon suggested that I stop focusing on others and turn into myself and examine my motives and feelings. That is when I began to see and hear my destructive thoughts-- They were on going and kept telling me I was :wrong, stupid, unloved unlovable etc. I am so happy I learned to replace them with thoughts that validated my truth.
Wow, did I ever need to hear this today. I'm in the process of horrible divorce which is coming closer to the end. I had put together an "ideal scenerio" of events: 1. Sell house, 2. Find new house, 3. Buy new house, 4. Move out of old, 5. Move into new.
Guess what? 1. Sold house in three days. 2. Almost immediately found a lovely and affordable house that was vacant and move-in ready. 3. The sellers accepted my less-than-asking-price offer. 4. and 5. Closing for both houses are in two weeks.
So why do I need this reading? Because I woke up, consumed with fear! What if there is an issue with the new house? How can I afford the utility bills and upkeep on the new house? What if I need to change something in the new house? Where will I get the money? (!!!!!Stinkin thinking!!!!)
Somehow, I need to shift gears, let go of the fear, and accept the incredible gift that my HP has placed in front of me. I need to accept that if there are issues, I will be led to solutions. I need to, that is, I get to be filled with gratitude. I hope that focussing on the gratitude will push the fear right on out.
Wow. "Replaying, and predicting, dramas in my head" really touched home. That has been one of my biggest drawbacks.
There's a baseball movie, I love, called "For Love of the Game". Kevin Costner is a pitcher, and the way he settles himself, and drowns out the noise of the crowd, and everything around him, is by saying "clear the mechanism". It's something I just recognized as a way to help stop my brain from thinking negative thoughts.
I also pray to my HP to help protect my brain from negativity, and help focus on what is good, and what is right in front of me. I need to remember that each new day is a gift, and I need to not focus on the disappointments of yesterday, or the uncertainty of tomorrow.
Thank you for your ESH's. Rose, I hope you find one that works for you.
I have had a lot of stinkin' thinkin' lately... in my mind, I can picture and imagine all the 'bad' things that will happen as a result of my BF's substance habits. Last night I realized that my only motivation for doing this kind of projecting and thinking is to justify to myself that I am right to end the relationship. As if I need to be validated by my own self! That's crazy! Is it not enoughthat I don't feel 'good' about our connection anymore? My feelings should be worthy enough that I deserve and should respect myself and my choices enough to not need to convince myself (and all my close friends) that what I am doing is the right thing. Most 'normal' people date someone for a few weeks or months, realize there are important things or values that are not in common, and say, hey, it's been fun but I think we both should move on, I'm not feelin' this anymore. The End.
Well, I am not most 'normal' people apparently. I've been mulling evidence and 'suspicions' and 'bad gut feelings' for weeks now and have yet to make a move. I keep forgetting about my Higher Power.. I need to let go of all my thinking, I've done enough of this. I need to let my HP lead me to the next indicated step from here. All of this negative thinking and worry is not good for my health, period.
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"There will be an answer. Let it be." ~ The Beatles
Stinking Thinking is just not fun.....I believe it was a constant way of life before the program. Looking outside myself negatively for what was wrong in my life, home, relationships, etc. and having a chip was just my way of being. I am so grateful that the program told me there was another way and that others showed me how to get there! I still can have it at times, but I now have tools to use to help me change my outlook, attitudes and way of processing.
We are blessed to have this program, and I am grateful for all of you who lift me up with your shares. Knowing we have similar feelings and tools to think differently redirect me often - and that's a daily game changer for my joy and peace.
(((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
