Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

joker · joker

Happy news years everyone. I am so grateful for a new year. I had a very nice evening last night-no drinking by the ABF. I went out and went for a steam bath and visited with my daughter and it was wonderful. I came home and the ABF had the fire place burning wood and candles lit up all over the living room. It w...

See · See

Trying to talk to me like I'm her therapist

Maggie91 · Maggie91

My relationship with a guy that i thought was the love of my life ended 4 months ago, but i still can't seem to let go of it. I still want him back, the background story is very long and it hurts my heart to talk about it, but long story short i want to get back with this man but everyone is telling me to let go of hi...

MissM · MissM

Thanks for the ESH on my lengthy post (re conversations with X). I'll start a new thread rather than resurrecting that transcript over and over, because it probably doesn't benefit anyone other than me to read it, really. It's amazing; no matter what I expect when I share something here, the perspect...

Jerry F · Jerry F

That of course translates to Happy New Year. There is no more loving group of people I could wish that to than my MIP Ohana my MIP family...I wish that for you all each day that comes at you and finds you serene. (((((hugs))))

andromeda · andromeda

2 years ago on New Year's Day I was busy celebrating that the last miserable holiday season with my XAH was coming to a close. I had found a new home to rent, I was packing like crazy, and I was ignoring my XAH's drunken barbs and passive aggressive attempts to engage me. I remember thinking that I would...

ilovelucy · ilovelucy

I've been in al anon a little over six years and have worked with my sponsor for five of those. Working with her has been incredible. I trust her implicitly. My life has changed through al anon. But it's been very difficult, and very slow--as it is for many of us. Throughout this time I've been wholly inco...

atheos · atheos

I don't think things are going to work with Al-Anon. I tried, I wanted it to work so bad, my life passed "unmanageable" several miles back and I was really hoping I was going to find help... but I'm an atheist. At first I thought I could make it work... get through step two calling the group my hi...

a4l · a4l

Ok. So im a bit more mobile today and took great pleasure hobbling my crutches out the door. Still can't bend or lift anything including the babies which i really miss. Pain is constant but manageable and the spasms have dialled down to twitces. I think i can handle a chiropractor now and definitel...

joker · joker

I have been attending AA meetings for the past 4 years now and I still struggle with the don't take the first drink deal. I have never been a heavy drinker in my life. The most I ever, ever drank in my life was when I did a 10 day bender. I was able to get up in the morning and attend to business and then then start...

Aerin · Aerin

I still cannot grasp why the A is a very selfish person. Even as a dry drunk I still see the selfishness. He sees me as "not letting him do what he wants"??. There is only one thing that he doesn't do right now and that is drink! ( technically 90 days in the program but has slipped up maybe 5-8x that I know of, h...

hotrod · hotrod

Happy New Year Everyone. I have decided that this year I'm going to share the daily readings from the ODAT. I have been sharing from the C2C for the past year and think a change would work well The ODAT reading for January 1 speaks about this being the beginning of a new year wh...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

I want a divorce. After much prayer, program and counseling, I've gotten to a place where I know I want to be by myself. We have been living in parallel for a while now. I am at peace with this. I'm sad and dreading the technical part of getting through a divorce, and I know in my heart it's the right thing fo...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Happy New Year everyone. So as the title says, my program thinking helped me turn my attitude around. I needed an operation a week or so before Christmas. I had been a few weeks before for the consultation and at that time, it seemed to me that most people in the waiting room had their partner with them for...

Jayla · Jayla

I'm sure everyone here knows what I mean. My AH and I have been fighting a lot lately about him staying out drinking. I'm not giving him heck about drinking bc I know he won't quit that until he's ready. I'm asking him to come drink at home instead of staying at his workplace all the time with his friends. He...

mb2016 · mb2016

I just want to wish you peace and serenity. The majority of this year was awful between me and my qualifier AH but I truly credit this program with helping me obtain peace and regain my sense of self. Definitely a work in progress for sure but it ended mostly better than it began and for that I am grateful. L...

Liz14 · Liz14

2016... What a year!!! I figured I would start listing things that I am grateful for: 1. My dear AH. I almost lost him in July from the horrid affects of alcoholism. He went into rehab after the health crisis and has been sober ever since (Drank for +45 years). His health has definitely improved. Our rel...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C suggests taking a moment, now that we have arrived at the end of another year, to contemplate what progress we have made in the last 12 months, and to thank our HP for that progress. The reading asks us to consider how we have reached out to others this year, progressed in step work, or had the f...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses all those times when the actions of the alcoholic are so very irritating. It points that even the alcoholic can not pour the cereal correctly! While our recovery program shows us how to protect ourselves from unacceptable behavior, that's not always what is going on aro...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I haven't posted in a long time. Feeling alone and sad. My husband of many years has been in recovery, attends meetings,talks to his sponsor once a day but slips and starts to drink again. As far as I know, he hasn't had anything in several months. He is not a binge drinker but drinks for awhile and then...

MissM · MissM

Im going to paraphrase a recent conversation between (x?)abf and I. Im sharing this because, basically, he's saying everything I have wanted to hear for a long, long time and I don't know how I feel about it. I think they're the words a lot of us want to hear at some point from our partners/x partners. I do...

Fife · Fife

I'm not sure how this chatroom works. I've never been part of one. I just need someone to talk to honestly, someone I can be honest with. I am so tired of trying to be "normal". I don't talk with my kids or sisters about his drinking, they've heard it all before, and wonder why I stay. If I had the money to live...

lovecake · lovecake

It's 1am and I need advice about what to do in the morning. About a year and a half ago my husband went out with friends. I was approaching my due date with our 2nd child. After he didn't come home and stopped answering his phone I spent the whole night calling hospitals and jails. As it turned out he was wast...

unbroken13 · unbroken13

Kate311 · Kate311

Well, the day finally came yesterday where i had enough and broke if off with my alcoholic boyfriend of 2.5 years. He had always been drinking a lot through our relationship but I didn't know how bad it was (lots of sneaking). Anyway, he had a stretch of a few clean days this month, was going to AA, being o...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I have been sliding again and making a lot of mistakes. Seems like 1 step forward, 10 Steps back these days. Just when I think I'm moving along, I will fall back on old bad habits. When I do this, I feel more out of control than I ever have, I think it's because I know better now & I am way harder on myself fo...

Alaska Jayne · Alaska Jayne

My Husband is an alcoholic, not everytime but more often here lately when he is drunk, calls me everything in the book, accuses me of cheating, says he is leaving, got physical the other night, and I finally said I had taken all I was going to, I want a divorce, not going to take it anymore, he said he will qu...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Now I am getting ahead of myself. This is not a very good day. I am reflecting on 2016. I am hoping for a better year in 2017. I had a lot of good memories but some things really bothered me. I know that I should be grateful but today I feel sad. The holidays haven't been good to me. I had too high of expectations...

a4l · a4l

Last night was no joke. Yesterday i injuredy back picking something up: i think i did the damage months ago and my body went "nuh im done" yesterday. Ambulance, morphine, night nurse from hell and no diagnosis. The paramedic thought sciatica, the junior physio urged me to get a ct scan To check for d...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about martyrdom and self-pity....many of us come to Al-Anon and often don't realize that we're as ill as the alcoholic. We give power to other people's words and actions and often take it personally or react in unhealthy ways. Often we discover that we played the martyr role for a...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hi, I haven't posted in a long time. Caught up with life and kids....AH gave me a lot of empty promises and I went into my hopeful place only to be let down again. I think I am finally at acceptance. Acceptance that I cannot do one blessed thing to change any of this or fix it. I am handing him over to God an...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

my as went to the annual cousins night last night. He hasn't seen them in about 9 months. He brought his girlfriend; they have a very toxic relationship. I truly believe she is part of the reason he left. I do understand he had a choice but he also takes in strays. she being the stray. With that being said,...

Lost and not found · Lost and not found

Hi, Been on the forum for approximately 12 hours and my wife has been on and snooped at the new posts i have put on. I cant really believe that she has done this as i wanted this to be something for just me to share my thoughts and feelings with people who would understand what i was going through. She says tha...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm just saying I don't like it and I want to fight it every step of the way .. it feels uncomfortable. It means I have to do things I don't like, be places I don't want to be, look at things a different way because it means I'm growing .. what a bunch of hogwash. Phhffttt. So I left my house for Christmas whi...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

Ever since my 32 year old daughter relapsed after 3 years of sobriety I have been in panic mode. She told me she relapsed right before she came home for Xmas with her boyfriend. Apparently she had a meltdown at her boyfriend's parents house before coming here. She gets really short and crabby when she dr...

joker · joker

I made a huge mistake and took my abf home with me-9 hour drive to my hometown. The last trip I will ever, ever take with him. We made the drive over two days there and back. He was drunk and it was hell...I mean hell. I just about got into a car accident on the highway as he went ballistic on me, and I was driving...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Every year after Christmas my nieces and nephews get together for a cousins night. There are 15 in all ranging in ages from 13-30. Tonight my AS will connect with his family, He hasn't seen his cousins in almost 9 months! My niece is picking him up and he is going to attend. No pressure she told him. I...

Lost and not found · Lost and not found

This is the first time that i have told anyone this and need to get it off my chest to have some opinions on the situation as it is weighing on my mind more and more. My AW went on a "wine night" as she used to call them, which consisted of her, her sister and friends basically getting drunk on a girls night in wh...

Lost and not found · Lost and not found

Hi Everyone, Im new to the forum and just joined today. I have been married to my AW for 10 years and been together for 14 years total. She has been drinking to various levels for at least the past 20 years with the only time that she stopped drinking for longer than a week, whilst she was pregnant with our so...

el-cee · el-cee

Hope everyone had a lovely day. My day was gifted to me by my hp with a stark reminder of the power of this disease. Before 12pm in my home there were tears and tantrums. What did I do? Did what I planned and made the soup. Lol. The power of alanon won though. Family reacted but here's the best bit calm was res...

Brett · Brett

Hi all this is my first time here and was looking for some input. i have been with my girlfriend for over two years, living together the whole time. She's in her 40's and I'm in my 30's. We moved in together as roomates and shortly after realized that we had feelings for each other. Before I knew she had a dri...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

So Christmas day, my AS called my mom and dad but hung up on them before words were exchanged (I am getting this information from my sister, who was told in confidence).... (My sister is a whole other story). They haven't seen or talked with my AS since last Easter. They are hurting so much and would go t...

Jage1991 · Jage1991

I just want to kick myself. So many of you advised me not to tell him what I had found out here, but the past few days were killing me and I just couldn't sleep without getting it off my chest. The last 3 nights have been horrible. He has drank to the point of staggering and slurring and snoring so loud, we ca...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page considers what we may do when our outcomes are not matching up with our intentions. If we find this happening, it is time to examine what our intentions truly are and how we are going about achieving them. "Let me first be sure what I intend and the reasons for my choice; this will guide my th...

Easy · Easy

I got free from an abusive dysfunctional relationship through alanon. By saying things like 'you might be right' and actually believing that yes from your point of view you might be. Saying ' I'm sorry you feel that way' again, meaning it. I was sorry my alcoholic feels angry and hostile but I was not ta...

shimo · shimo

Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 45 minutes (9:00 a.m. EST). Come on in and join us! Link to the chat room: https://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html If you come into the room without selecting a nickname for yourself, you would need to type /nick space followed by the nickna...

a4l · a4l

I know I speak for lots of us here when I say, Betty, AKA: Ms. Hotrod, you are one special lady. I wanted to send you extra special Merry Christmas wishes, because you have been this beautiful mother energy and more , to me and many others As a mother, I am inspired by your choice to continue to nurtu...

AnitaJean · AnitaJean

My husband of 27 years died at the age of 58 due to acute alcoholism. I left the year before his death because is drinking had become so extreme that I had reached my breaking point. It was either him or me. We had been down this road before and I had really hoped he would return to AA and get it together. Inste...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how many of us affected by alcoholsim are quick to take on as many responsibilities as possible-- if something needs to be done- we do it! One of the aspects of the program which is pointed out is that meetings, for example, are about shared responsibil...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Could someone give me a link that getsr back to the mobile site or whatever it is? I used to have but somehow lost it.

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Well, Christmas is over; I am ever so thankful for the wonderful time with family. I am also thankful that it is over. I held it together most of the time except church; but I made it through without having to walk out.Hope came to me on Christmas morning when I found out that my AS contacted his cousins to s...

LinSC · LinSC

CathyinAz.... Have a great one

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63049668/alanon-step-9-12-26-2016/

pinkchip · pinkchip

Lyne · Lyne

Happy Holidays to all my dear MIP friends! I only get to the board about once a week, but I know you guys are here for me, have helped me tremendously in the past, I see you as part of my recovery, and I know if I am having a rough time (which is less often now because I have changed), I can count of someone on the...

MissM · MissM

So yesterday (Christmas Eve) I was charged with taking daughter to her fathers so that she could spend Christmas there. My mother and I cooked up a plan where we would visit her first, and have dinner, and then we would drive to drop daughter off at her fathers and I'd catch the train home. All of my sibl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

We figured out how to stop the problem we were having w our wood stove. It was kind of obvious but we had to get on the roof to clean out the pipe. I am so grateful that things turned out OK. So far no smoke. There is a solution to every problem. The snow was deep but we were determined to get the job done.

Celie7191 · Celie7191

Is it normal for a sponsee to be so dependant upon a Sponsor? The reason why I ask is because my gf keeps saying that her sponsor keeps her sober. Although I am thankful for this I do wonder how healthy it is to rely on someone else for your sobriety. I often feel that the relationship between my gf and her spo...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

One AlAnon member shared this lesson as one of the most important to be learned in the program: The words, thoughts, and actions of others are not in my control, but by my choices I can control my life. Real life application: if I am feeling like I am being walked on by others, I can make the choice to get off...

Merkabah46 · Merkabah46

Hi. I have been in recovery rooms since 2006 in different fellowships. Lately, I have experience serious troubles in my relationships. My former partner of a year has assaulted me. I ended up in hospital. I decided to press charges with the police and he admitted assault to his son too in my home a month...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Grateful today (Preview) Happy news years everyone. I am so grateful for a new year. I had a very nice evening last night-no drinking by the ABF. I went out and went for a steam bath and visited with my daughter and it was wonderful. I came home and the ABF had the fire place burning wood and candles lit up all over the living room. It w...	joker	5	437	Jan 3, 2017 by andromeda
	Alcoholic daughter in law (Preview) Trying to talk to me like I'm her therapist	See	11	722	Jan 2, 2017 by hiraeth
	depression (I'm new, any advice is welcome) (Preview) My relationship with a guy that i thought was the love of my life ended 4 months ago, but i still can't seem to let go of it. I still want him back, the background story is very long and it hurts my heart to talk about it, but long story short i want to get back with this man but everyone is telling me to let go of hi...	Maggie91	9	618	Jan 2, 2017 by See
	On reflection... (Preview) Thanks for the ESH on my lengthy post (re conversations with X). I'll start a new thread rather than resurrecting that transcript over and over, because it probably doesn't benefit anyone other than me to read it, really. It's amazing; no matter what I expect when I share something here, the perspect...	MissM	6	588	Jan 2, 2017 by MomInMo
	Hauoli Makahiki ho (Preview) That of course translates to Happy New Year. There is no more loving group of people I could wish that to than my MIP Ohana my MIP family...I wish that for you all each day that comes at you and finds you serene. (((((hugs))))	Jerry F	10	521	Jan 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	2 short years ago..... (Preview) 2 years ago on New Year's Day I was busy celebrating that the last miserable holiday season with my XAH was coming to a close. I had found a new home to rent, I was packing like crazy, and I was ignoring my XAH's drunken barbs and passive aggressive attempts to engage me. I remember thinking that I would...	andromeda	6	528	Jan 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	Help learning how to become accountable with my sponsor (Preview) I've been in al anon a little over six years and have worked with my sponsor for five of those. Working with her has been incredible. I trust her implicitly. My life has changed through al anon. But it's been very difficult, and very slow--as it is for many of us. Throughout this time I've been wholly inco...	ilovelucy	12	623	Jan 1, 2017 by MomInMo
	Can Al-Anon work for non-spiritual atheists? (Preview) I don't think things are going to work with Al-Anon. I tried, I wanted it to work so bad, my life passed "unmanageable" several miles back and I was really hoping I was going to find help... but I'm an atheist. At first I thought I could make it work... get through step two calling the group my hi...	atheos	33	10479	Jan 1, 2017 by Jerry F
	a pre emptive sanity saving vent (Preview) Ok. So im a bit more mobile today and took great pleasure hobbling my crutches out the door. Still can't bend or lift anything including the babies which i really miss. Pain is constant but manageable and the spasms have dialled down to twitces. I think i can handle a chiropractor now and definitel...	a4l	4	524	Jan 1, 2017 by a4l
	AA meetings and my thoughts (Preview) I have been attending AA meetings for the past 4 years now and I still struggle with the don't take the first drink deal. I have never been a heavy drinker in my life. The most I ever, ever drank in my life was when I did a 10 day bender. I was able to get up in the morning and attend to business and then then start...	joker	3	2531	Jan 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Dry Drunk is almost worse.. (Preview) I still cannot grasp why the A is a very selfish person. Even as a dry drunk I still see the selfishness. He sees me as "not letting him do what he wants"??. There is only one thing that he doesn't do right now and that is drink! ( technically 90 days in the program but has slipped up maybe 5-8x that I know of, h...	Aerin	7	3062	Jan 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 1-1-2017 (Preview) Happy New Year Everyone. I have decided that this year I'm going to share the daily readings from the ODAT. I have been sharing from the C2C for the past year and think a change would work well The ODAT reading for January 1 speaks about this being the beginning of a new year wh...	hotrod	7	545	Jan 1, 2017 by MeTwo2
	I know it's time to go (Preview) I want a divorce. After much prayer, program and counseling, I've gotten to a place where I know I want to be by myself. We have been living in parallel for a while now. I am at peace with this. I'm sad and dreading the technical part of getting through a divorce, and I know in my heart it's the right thing fo...	Mcat54	7	672	Jan 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	turned my pity party into gratitude (Preview) Happy New Year everyone. So as the title says, my program thinking helped me turn my attitude around. I needed an operation a week or so before Christmas. I had been a few weeks before for the consultation and at that time, it seemed to me that most people in the waiting room had their partner with them for...	Calm Lady	6	444	Jan 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Drunk Talk (Preview) I'm sure everyone here knows what I mean. My AH and I have been fighting a lot lately about him staying out drinking. I'm not giving him heck about drinking bc I know he won't quit that until he's ready. I'm asking him to come drink at home instead of staying at his workplace all the time with his friends. He...	Jayla	14	3082	Jan 1, 2017 by hotrod
	To those struggling through the holidays (Preview) I just want to wish you peace and serenity. The majority of this year was awful between me and my qualifier AH but I truly credit this program with helping me obtain peace and regain my sense of self. Definitely a work in progress for sure but it ended mostly better than it began and for that I am grateful. L...	mb2016	2	393	Jan 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	2016 - My Gratitude List (Preview) 2016... What a year!!! I figured I would start listing things that I am grateful for: 1. My dear AH. I almost lost him in July from the horrid affects of alcoholism. He went into rehab after the health crisis and has been sober ever since (Drank for +45 years). His health has definitely improved. Our rel...	Liz14	1	426	Jan 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 31/12 (Preview) Today's C2C suggests taking a moment, now that we have arrived at the end of another year, to contemplate what progress we have made in the last 12 months, and to thank our HP for that progress. The reading asks us to consider how we have reached out to others this year, progressed in step work, or had the f...	MissM	5	550	Jan 1, 2017 by MissM
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/29/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses all those times when the actions of the alcoholic are so very irritating. It points that even the alcoholic can not pour the cereal correctly! While our recovery program shows us how to protect ourselves from unacceptable behavior, that's not always what is going on aro...	Iamhere	2	437	Jan 1, 2017 by Calm Lady
	Years of recovery and years of drinking (Preview) I haven't posted in a long time. Feeling alone and sad. My husband of many years has been in recovery, attends meetings,talks to his sponsor once a day but slips and starts to drink again. As far as I know, he hasn't had anything in several months. He is not a binge drinker but drinks for awhile and then...	wifeofalcoholic	7	556	Dec 31, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Maybe I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face. Idk. (Preview) Im going to paraphrase a recent conversation between (x?)abf and I. Im sharing this because, basically, he's saying everything I have wanted to hear for a long, long time and I don't know how I feel about it. I think they're the words a lot of us want to hear at some point from our partners/x partners. I do...	MissM	7	672	Dec 31, 2016 by hiraeth
	First time on here (Preview) I'm not sure how this chatroom works. I've never been part of one. I just need someone to talk to honestly, someone I can be honest with. I am so tired of trying to be "normal". I don't talk with my kids or sisters about his drinking, they've heard it all before, and wonder why I stay. If I had the money to live...	Fife	4	444	Dec 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	It's 1am and I need advice about what to do in the morning (Preview) It's 1am and I need advice about what to do in the morning. About a year and a half ago my husband went out with friends. I was approaching my due date with our 2nd child. After he didn't come home and stopped answering his phone I spent the whole night calling hospitals and jails. As it turned out he was wast...	lovecake	5	882	Dec 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	To my MIP Family (Preview)	unbroken13	4	336	Dec 31, 2016 by Jerry F
	I left him but should I still try to help him (Preview) Well, the day finally came yesterday where i had enough and broke if off with my alcoholic boyfriend of 2.5 years. He had always been drinking a lot through our relationship but I didn't know how bad it was (lots of sneaking). Anyway, he had a stretch of a few clean days this month, was going to AA, being o...	Kate311	3	447	Dec 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	Went to my first AA meeting tonight. (Preview) I have been sliding again and making a lot of mistakes. Seems like 1 step forward, 10 Steps back these days. Just when I think I'm moving along, I will fall back on old bad habits. When I do this, I feel more out of control than I ever have, I think it's because I know better now & I am way harder on myself fo...	sarahGee	2	1490	Dec 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	Don't Know What To Do (Preview) My Husband is an alcoholic, not everytime but more often here lately when he is drunk, calls me everything in the book, accuses me of cheating, says he is leaving, got physical the other night, and I finally said I had taken all I was going to, I want a divorce, not going to take it anymore, he said he will qu...	Alaska Jayne	2	421	Dec 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	highs & lows happy new year (Preview) Now I am getting ahead of myself. This is not a very good day. I am reflecting on 2016. I am hoping for a better year in 2017. I had a lot of good memories but some things really bothered me. I know that I should be grateful but today I feel sad. The holidays haven't been good to me. I had too high of expectations...	Hoot Nanny	3	395	Dec 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	just got home from hospital (Preview) Last night was no joke. Yesterday i injuredy back picking something up: i think i did the damage months ago and my body went "nuh im done" yesterday. Ambulance, morphine, night nurse from hell and no diagnosis. The paramedic thought sciatica, the junior physio urged me to get a ct scan To check for d...	a4l	12	740	Dec 31, 2016 by a4l
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/30/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about martyrdom and self-pity....many of us come to Al-Anon and often don't realize that we're as ill as the alcoholic. We give power to other people's words and actions and often take it personally or react in unhealthy ways. Often we discover that we played the martyr role for a...	Iamhere	4	500	Dec 31, 2016 by newleaf66
	How do you cope with living with a ghost? (Preview) Hi, I haven't posted in a long time. Caught up with life and kids....AH gave me a lot of empty promises and I went into my hopeful place only to be let down again. I think I am finally at acceptance. Acceptance that I cannot do one blessed thing to change any of this or fix it. I am handing him over to God an...	newleaf66	10	556	Dec 31, 2016 by newleaf66
	He is going part 2them (Preview) my as went to the annual cousins night last night. He hasn't seen them in about 9 months. He brought his girlfriend; they have a very toxic relationship. I truly believe she is part of the reason he left. I do understand he had a choice but he also takes in strays. she being the stray. With that being said,...	Tannersmom	4	510	Dec 30, 2016 by LinSC
	Snooping AW (Preview) Hi, Been on the forum for approximately 12 hours and my wife has been on and snooped at the new posts i have put on. I cant really believe that she has done this as i wanted this to be something for just me to share my thoughts and feelings with people who would understand what i was going through. She says tha...	Lost and not found	10	626	Dec 30, 2016 by sarahGee
	The Whole Adult Thing (Preview) I'm just saying I don't like it and I want to fight it every step of the way .. it feels uncomfortable. It means I have to do things I don't like, be places I don't want to be, look at things a different way because it means I'm growing .. what a bunch of hogwash. Phhffttt. So I left my house for Christmas whi...	SerenityRUS	7	630	Dec 30, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Holiday blues (Preview) Ever since my 32 year old daughter relapsed after 3 years of sobriety I have been in panic mode. She told me she relapsed right before she came home for Xmas with her boyfriend. Apparently she had a meltdown at her boyfriend's parents house before coming here. She gets really short and crabby when she dr...	Buckeye Girl	3	455	Dec 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	hellish holiday (Preview) I made a huge mistake and took my abf home with me-9 hour drive to my hometown. The last trip I will ever, ever take with him. We made the drive over two days there and back. He was drunk and it was hell...I mean hell. I just about got into a car accident on the highway as he went ballistic on me, and I was driving...	joker	3	505	Dec 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	He's going!! (Preview) Every year after Christmas my nieces and nephews get together for a cousins night. There are 15 in all ranging in ages from 13-30. Tonight my AS will connect with his family, He hasn't seen his cousins in almost 9 months! My niece is picking him up and he is going to attend. No pressure she told him. I...	Tannersmom	1	387	Dec 29, 2016 by hotrod
	opinions please! (Preview) This is the first time that i have told anyone this and need to get it off my chest to have some opinions on the situation as it is weighing on my mind more and more. My AW went on a "wine night" as she used to call them, which consisted of her, her sister and friends basically getting drunk on a girls night in wh...	Lost and not found	5	563	Dec 29, 2016 by Jayla
	Newby (Preview) Hi Everyone, Im new to the forum and just joined today. I have been married to my AW for 10 years and been together for 14 years total. She has been drinking to various levels for at least the past 20 years with the only time that she stopped drinking for longer than a week, whilst she was pregnant with our so...	Lost and not found	9	573	Dec 29, 2016 by Jayla
	Drama with progress (Preview) Hope everyone had a lovely day. My day was gifted to me by my hp with a stark reminder of the power of this disease. Before 12pm in my home there were tears and tantrums. What did I do? Did what I planned and made the soup. Lol. The power of alanon won though. Family reacted but here's the best bit calm was res...	el-cee	5	639	Dec 29, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Hi everyone: first post (Preview) Hi all this is my first time here and was looking for some input. i have been with my girlfriend for over two years, living together the whole time. She's in her 40's and I'm in my 30's. We moved in together as roomates and shortly after realized that we had feelings for each other. Before I knew she had a dri...	Brett	6	598	Dec 29, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Parents (Preview) So Christmas day, my AS called my mom and dad but hung up on them before words were exchanged (I am getting this information from my sister, who was told in confidence).... (My sister is a whole other story). They haven't seen or talked with my AS since last Easter. They are hurting so much and would go t...	Tannersmom	3	518	Dec 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	I was doing so good and then... (Preview) I just want to kick myself. So many of you advised me not to tell him what I had found out here, but the past few days were killing me and I just couldn't sleep without getting it off my chest. The last 3 nights have been horrible. He has drank to the point of staggering and slurring and snoring so loud, we ca...	Jage1991	10	712	Dec 28, 2016 by milkwood
	12/28/16 One Day at a Time (Preview) Today's page considers what we may do when our outcomes are not matching up with our intentions. If we find this happening, it is time to examine what our intentions truly are and how we are going about achieving them. "Let me first be sure what I intend and the reasons for my choice; this will guide my th...	Enigmatic	2	853	Dec 28, 2016 by hotrod
	Free from dysfunction (Preview) I got free from an abusive dysfunctional relationship through alanon. By saying things like 'you might be right' and actually believing that yes from your point of view you might be. Saying ' I'm sorry you feel that way' again, meaning it. I was sorry my alcoholic feels angry and hostile but I was not ta...	Easy	4	533	Dec 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING, 9:00 A.M. EST (Preview) Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 45 minutes (9:00 a.m. EST). Come on in and join us! Link to the chat room: https://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html If you come into the room without selecting a nickname for yourself, you would need to type /nick space followed by the nickna...	shimo	1	329	Dec 28, 2016 by hotrod
	Merry Christmas Betty! (Preview) I know I speak for lots of us here when I say, Betty, AKA: Ms. Hotrod, you are one special lady. I wanted to send you extra special Merry Christmas wishes, because you have been this beautiful mother energy and more , to me and many others As a mother, I am inspired by your choice to continue to nurtu...	a4l	7	485	Dec 27, 2016 by hotrod
	Coping With the Death of Alcoholic Spouse (Preview) My husband of 27 years died at the age of 58 due to acute alcoholism. I left the year before his death because is drinking had become so extreme that I had reached my breaking point. It was either him or me. We had been down this road before and I had really hoped he would return to AA and get it together. Inste...	AnitaJean	4	2661	Dec 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Dec 27 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how many of us affected by alcoholsim are quick to take on as many responsibilities as possible-- if something needs to be done- we do it! One of the aspects of the program which is pointed out is that meetings, for example, are about shared responsibil...	yanksfan51	3	456	Dec 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	need assistance (Preview) Could someone give me a link that getsr back to the mobile site or whatever it is? I used to have but somehow lost it.	Hoot Nanny	0	373	Dec 27, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Hope (Preview) Well, Christmas is over; I am ever so thankful for the wonderful time with family. I am also thankful that it is over. I held it together most of the time except church; but I made it through without having to walk out.Hope came to me on Christmas morning when I found out that my AS contacted his cousins to s...	Tannersmom	1	308	Dec 27, 2016 by milkwood
	Happy Birthday (Preview) CathyinAz.... Have a great one	LinSC	5	442	Dec 27, 2016 by Jerry F
	Step 9 Posted on Step Board (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63049668/alanon-step-9-12-26-2016/	hotrod	0	325	Dec 26, 2016 by hotrod
	Decisions (Preview)	pinkchip	5	624	Dec 26, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Thanks to all of you! (Preview) Happy Holidays to all my dear MIP friends! I only get to the board about once a week, but I know you guys are here for me, have helped me tremendously in the past, I see you as part of my recovery, and I know if I am having a rough time (which is less often now because I have changed), I can count of someone on the...	Lyne	5	467	Dec 26, 2016 by andromeda
	I'm all alone but at least I smell good. (Preview) So yesterday (Christmas Eve) I was charged with taking daughter to her fathers so that she could spend Christmas there. My mother and I cooked up a plan where we would visit her first, and have dinner, and then we would drive to drop daughter off at her fathers and I'd catch the train home. All of my sibl...	MissM	5	478	Dec 26, 2016 by Jerry F
	Who would have thought? (Preview) We figured out how to stop the problem we were having w our wood stove. It was kind of obvious but we had to get on the roof to clean out the pipe. I am so grateful that things turned out OK. So far no smoke. There is a solution to every problem. The snow was deep but we were determined to get the job done.	Hoot Nanny	1	360	Dec 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sponsors (Preview) Is it normal for a sponsee to be so dependant upon a Sponsor? The reason why I ask is because my gf keeps saying that her sponsor keeps her sober. Although I am thankful for this I do wonder how healthy it is to rely on someone else for your sobriety. I often feel that the relationship between my gf and her spo...	Celie7191	3	414	Dec 26, 2016 by MeTwo2
	12-26-16 Courage to Change (Preview) One AlAnon member shared this lesson as one of the most important to be learned in the program: The words, thoughts, and actions of others are not in my control, but by my choices I can control my life. Real life application: if I am feeling like I am being walked on by others, I can make the choice to get off...	Enigmatic	4	535	Dec 26, 2016 by MeTwo2
	New here (Preview) Hi. I have been in recovery rooms since 2006 in different fellowships. Lately, I have experience serious troubles in my relationships. My former partner of a year has assaulted me. I ended up in hospital. I decided to press charges with the police and he admitted assault to his son too in my home a month...	Merkabah46	2	596	Dec 26, 2016 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.