Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

Maggie91 · Newbie

depression (I'm new, any advice is welcome)

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Maggie and welcome to the board. Depression is a wide subject and was for me more than now. I went to work on it hard and long and with the help of my VA counselor learned one description of it was "Anger turned inward" so after searching long and hard and working the subject with other professionals I learned how to diminish its power over me and change the stories it was try to get me to buy. So much of depression for me is about fear which isn't about facts mostly fantasy that my head uses for a "poor me" condition. I don't like the poor me condition because I tend to bring down others with it also and it sucks. I use to let it control me to the point where I would turn a worry into a war of the worlds...no more. I use detachment and surrender to help me out of the condition as soon as I recognize it is here. Let go and Let God and keep coming back. ((((hugs)))) smile

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Maggie Welcome -- You are not alone Please search out alanon face to face meetings that are held in most communities and attend. The hotline number is in the white pages. There is hope and help

SerenityRUS · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi and welcome .. I'm going to challenge you to really think about what you are getting out of chasing a man who is sending a clear message he's not into you. I apologize if that sounds harsh not where I'm coming from .. Seriously though why do you think so little of yourself that you want someone who will only bring crumbs of emotional wants to the table while you are starving. Then stepping back looking at yourself in the mirror .. Why do you think you deserve less than the full banquet?? What really is your depression about? Loneliness? Lack of self esteem? The past crashing into the future? I hope u will attend some Alanon meetings and find out about you while leaving the thoughts of the hims I do mean any hims aside. I learned to fill my own cup before seeking relationships with others. It has been a long process and I'm still learning. Keep coming back. Hugs S ;)

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

I too send warm welcomes to you - glad you found us here at MIP and glad that you joined in and shared. I can't pretend to understand the workings of depression and am sorry that you are where you are. I'm sending you positive thoughts and prayers - we all deserve to be happy, joyous and free - one day at a time.

Keep coming back - you are not alone.

Maggie91 · Newbie

Thank you all for the advices and for taking the time to write back, I am having a hard time with lots of things at the moment and him not being here makes it worse for me. But hopefully I will get out this funk soon. I used to attend in person meetings but my car broke soo I have been stuck at home, I know things will be better when i let go and let God.

Maggie91 · Newbie

Thank you soo much, sometimes being harsh is the best way to get someone to understand things.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

I understand
We have on line meetings here - Here is the link and schedule
www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

Morning Meetings

Mon. - Fri. at 9am EST

Sat. - Sun at 10am EST

Each Sunday morning at 10 am EST, we will be having a Spiritual meeting with a topic relating to the Spiritual part of our program.

Night Meetings

Mon-Saturday 9PM eastern time

Sunday 7PM eastern time

MomInMo · Veteran Member

Seriously, I'm going through the same thing kind of. I think I just need more meetings, more reading, more understanding. I deserve full live from someone, not crumbs. Some reading I've done lately says it's about fear of being alone and looking for happiness in others. I agree, but I don't know yet how to fix that. Plus, celebacy really, really stinks. Really. But, it is what it is. I'm too old for one night stands, lol.

See · Member

Stay busy + focus on you. Happy new year

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene