The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm not sure how this chatroom works. I've never been part of one. I just need someone to talk to honestly, someone I can be honest with. I am so tired of trying to be "normal". I don't talk with my kids or sisters about his drinking, they've heard it all before, and wonder why I stay. If I had the money to live in a nice, safe place, and not have to worry about returning to him, just to have a roof over my head and bills paid, I would leave ASAP. I am so tired of everything.
A big thump woke me around 3am this morning. I knew he had fallen, but I didn't go see. I got up to use the bathroom, and went back to bed, listening, then I heard another thump, when he fell again. Then I heard his bedroom door close, and nothing more. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, went to the spare room, and found this place. So here I sit, wondering what will happen next.
Welcome FiFi I too am glad that you found us and I'm sorry that you are coping with the negative effects of this disease. I can identify with the feelings that you express and that was the reason I searched out support for myself as I just could not live that way anymore . Al-Anon is a recovery program for family members who live with or have lived with the disease of alcoholism .
We believe, what the medical Association has stated, that alcoholism is a chronic, progressive, fatal disease over which were powerless. Attending Al-Anon meetings and breaking the isolation caused by living with the disease is extremely important. Face-to-face meetings are held in most communities and the hotline number is in the white pages.
It is here I learned to keep the focus on myself, live one day at a time, trust a power greater than myself and acknowledge my assets and gifts.
Fifi, I hope all is well. I too have experienced those bumps in the night and the sleeplessness and worry. When I reached the point of despair, I went to http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/find-a-meeting and looked for the nearest Alanon meeting. Luckily there was a meeting later that day. I went, I continue to go, and it has helped me tremendously. Those rooms are the place I could be honest.
If you cannot get to a face-to-face meeting, they have online meetings on this site, and there are telephone meetings listed here: http://al-anon.info/MeetingSearch/PhoneMeetings.aspx?language=EN
I found that making a "Plan B," having a bag packed so I could leave quickly if needed, were helpful to make me feel less afraid. I also learned that if the alcoholic was sick/injured, I could call an ambulance and I did not have to go to the hospital with him.
I am new here as well. I love what was just said about keeping the focus on myself.
My son and my daughter are both in recovery. My daughter for 4 years (age 24). My son has been struggling a bit more over the last three years (age 28). I am so proud of them both, but I hate this disease so much. I feel like I walk on eggshell even though we have so much to be grateful for. I struggle most with acceptance that this disease can rear it's ugly head at any time. My son feels the most fragile to me and I am having a hard time letting him just be the 28 year old man he needs to be. I find myself "checking in" on him and it's driving me and him crazy. I am praying hard that this is the year I work and concentrate on my own recovery. I know that will benefit us all.
Welcome Fife and Robbin - glad you both found MIP and glad that you reached out here. Please keep coming back - you are not alone and there is hope and help in recovery...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
