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Expectations and Boundaries
(Preview)
My qualifier has been sober for several weeks now and has been very eager to point out that I am still struggling and unhappy even though he has stopped drinking. He has been in and out of the program for decades and occasionally likes to point out where my program needs work (thanks dear ....). We had bee...
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Voodoo
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5
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899
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Leaving recovering ah advice
(Preview)
I have decided after this last battle to end my 6 year marriage. I just don't know how to do it. I don't want to fight or discuss or just anything. I just don't want the battle. What have other people done? My first divorce was so bad that I think apart of my fear has to do with how bad will this one be. We have no...
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Helpangel
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2
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707
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Trying to force solutions
(Preview)
I've come to understand that trying to force solutions is a big problem for me. My impatience and agitation and lack of trust in how things could unfold over time (and trust in a higher power). I am trying to keep this upmost in my mind, meditate on it, etc. I am trying to be more aware and catch myself every...
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pom
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10
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3098
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1/18/17 Courage to Change
(Preview)
For one new member, AlAnon's suggestion to focus on self as the best way to help the alcoholic seemed heartless. They decided AlAnon was not a place for them...until hearing someone's realization that the best intentions to help the alcoholic often fail, but AlAnon helps us learn a better way to help...
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Enigmatic
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6
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672
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January 18 hope for today
(Preview)
1/18 Hope for today reading: This was the only thought I remembered from my first Al-Anon meeting: We can learn to live at peace with ourselves and others. "Live at peace with ourselves and others?" I wondered. "How do people do this?" From my alcoholic upbringing to my own family and workplace, I had n...
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luv123
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1
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2300
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Powerlessness is a healing thing...
(Preview)
So what can I do about someone dying and what is that some one is my brother? How much if anything did I do to cause it and was I able to control and cure it? It's a God thing and perfectly acceptable and expected if alcoholism played a part in it. We were not close for many reasons the largest of which wa...
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Jerry F
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19
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931
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1/16/17 Courage to Change
(Preview)
Looking at a time when to have a thought meant saying a thought, today's page suggests a 'Think' before we speak approach. This is a healthy replacement to replying in anger, betraying confidence with gossip, oversharing, or offering unsolicited advice.Taking a few moments to Think allows us time...
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Enigmatic
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6
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745
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Hope for Today Jan 17
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today'a reading is on the topic of letting go. What does it mean to let go? How does it benefit us to let go? As I was reading i thought about how for me, anytime it seems difficult to let go I can usually find that my will is getting in the way. If I let go then I am not in control and if I am...
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yanksfan51
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3
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2580
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Step 11
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63126973/alanon-step-11-jan-1-17-2017/
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hotrod
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0
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974
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Outreach
(Preview)
Hello, I'm a newcomer here and I realize that I really need recovery to help heal me. I have heard "outreach" mentioned on phone meetings and was hoping I could do it on here as well, by putting myself out there in a moment of need. My past pains and fears of abandonment and loss have been triggered in my cu...
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WaitingForTheSun
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3
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620
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support for her and for me..
(Preview)
Hi all. My gf is recently sober (October '16). Long story short, her binge drinking had gotten to the point where I was out the door. She called me from her first AA meeting, so I decided to give her one last shot. I have not had a single drink in front of her, even in social gatherings with other people, in o...
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nanda
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5
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789
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Need advice
(Preview)
Just looking for a little guidance from you all who know the program and the disease so much better than me. My AH had a slip up on NYE, he had promised me he wouldn't drink and he did, and he didn't get drunk and stopped after I said something to him, which I did in a nice non accusatory fashion on my part. I was...
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mb2016
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2
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616
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New phase
(Preview)
Hi all Ive come back after a little break to address some issues with my health and past issues. I wanted to make sure my "ammunition" was empty after growing up with an alcoholic and being married to an alcoholic and drug user fr 15 years because that is my RAH defense is that I blame him for my fathers...
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Fooled
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6
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785
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All Anon for kids
(Preview)
Does anyone know of a group for children ages 7 - 9? I'm asking for my grand children. My adult son is a single dad & an alcoholic. I have my grandchildren with me because home life is not very good at the moment. They need help ( and so do I). Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you
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GrandmaJ
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3
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3961
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Letting Go
(Preview)
Letting Go To "let go" does not mean to stop caring;it means I can't do it for someone else. To "let go" is not to cut myself off; its the realization I can't control another. To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means t...
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LinSC
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2
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783
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Detachment
(Preview)
I cannot grasp this...at all. it seems all I do is avoid interaction and conversation.its like I am ignoring him and turning a blind eye to this terrible behaviour. All the while feeling angry and resentful.
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Jennyp
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6
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1062
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Courage To Change 14/1
(Preview)
Today's c2c reading is about coming to the realisation that we cannot stop someone else from drinking, and the freedom we attain when we finally drop the rope. Often we know this intellectually but it takes some time to actually feel it and meetings, literature and conversations with other members a...
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MissM
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2
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621
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Courage to Change (C2C) 1/13/17
(Preview)
~~It's Friday the 13th - if you are superstitious, you might want to lay low, just for today!~~ Today's reading talks about the freedom we are given to seek out our own understanding of a higher power. We find that until we can think of a God in terms that mean something to us we may struggle to turn our lif...
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Iamhere
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2
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1927
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What is Detachment
(Preview)
Detachment is the:-Ability to allow people, places or things the freedom to be themselves. -Holding back from the need to rescue, save or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional or irrational. -Giving another person "t...
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LinSC
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6
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3467
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ODAT reading 1-15-2017
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for January 15 speaks about praying for the sobriety of the alcoholic in our lives, and then when sobriety is achieved,we begin to have fearful moments that it is not going to last. We walk around on eggshells and discover that we cannot delude ourselves into thinking that sobriety is...
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hotrod
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2
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2617
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Just need some clarity
(Preview)
Hi everyone! I haven't posted in a while, but I just experienced a situation that baffled me! My ex abf (but still seeing each other) just told me that by leaving him last night and not staying with him because he was drunk was "running away from my problems." I'm trying to remind myself that what I did was...
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vvv
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8
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758
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Moving forward
(Preview)
AS wife died of alcholism a year ago. For all the world to see he maintained ok until a couple months ago. The first I knew he had fallen very deeply into alcohol, drugs and all that goes with it again was the morning his pickup was repossessed a couple months ago. He called very upset, crying and deeply dep...
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Dlrankin
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3
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593
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I said wat I meant, but I said it mean
(Preview)
AH and I had a weird fight. I was happily getting ready for my son's birthday party and invited him to sit with me while I sharpened pencils. He grimaced and said, "ok" but I could tell he didn't want to. He said a lot of things - he wasn't interested in the show I suggested, he'd rather play video games, etc....
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Taraxacum
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3
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765
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The hateful stuff is getting to me today. Ugh!
(Preview)
Normally I can just ignore it, but I have an aunt that I love very much that is entrenched in this political carp right now. It is so hard not to send her a message to ask her to stop sending me this hateful garbage she finds on facebook and elsewhere. I know if I say anything she will probably stop talking to m...
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Jen
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11
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760
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Please help me to support my sober fiancee
(Preview)
Thank you for reading this. my fiancée is six years sober from alcohol and last night we had a problem when I took her to a coworkers DJ performance at a bar We talked about the event many times, she even said she didn't mind if I had a drink ( I'm not an alcoholic or even a big drinker) but when we arrived the s...
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Dfinneman
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8
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8230
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Hi
(Preview)
Hi all, i have just joined but been looking over the forum for some time trying to make sense of things. I have an AW who has been drinking for at least 20 years. She has tried to stop many times before but with no success, even a short spell in AA. She is currently in recovery with AA and has been for the past se...
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PacMan
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4
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846
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Daughter-in-Law at crisis
(Preview)
Our Son is at his wits end after 4 years of his wife's alcoholism, and 2 full rehabs, support groups, drug treatment etc etc She has lost jobs, fallen down stairs, broken her ankle, police called because she had fallen inside porch and on and on. Then she was doing really well before xmas, had gone totall...
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Celiavioletta
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0
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581
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Opinions on starting relationship when newly sober (New member- first post)
(Preview)
Hi guys.... I feel like my story is a bit complicated, and I don't want to completely lose you in the details. Let's just say I met a guy the past July online and we sort of fell into something neither of us expected or was looking for. He told me early on that he was an alcoholic, and he was currently off his...
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Olivia
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7
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704
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Reacting (Also, I'm new to the forum)
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I am new to the forums and am so glad I found them. I've been struggling hard with reacting rather than acting. I grew up with my qualifier who made the mere idea of action/choice on my part very dangerous or treated it with contempt. I instead very carefully maneuvered around them, and live...
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pom
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2
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657
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Problems finding a sponsor
(Preview)
Hi I'm new here. I am working on the 12 step book questions but I am having problems finding a sponsor. I had one person that insisted on doing it with me but I have asked her to meet 3 times and she has not responded so I am moving on from there. In the group I am in I say very little and I have been going for about 2...
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piper60
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2
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516
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Stupid Anniversay
(Preview)
Today is 1 year since I found out my son had a drug problem. This past year has been hell. I have cried more tears then I ever thought possible and believe it or not, there are still more to cry. Currently he still believes he doesn't have a problem. He doesn't have a job, doesn't have a home base (jumping...
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Tannersmom
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4
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603
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Therapist and dry drunk no bounds
(Preview)
my ah is 90 days sober. We have been doing this cycle thru 5 years of marriage and 1 Year of dating. He has a good job but hates it and complains about it alot. We actually work for the same company but he is more senior than I. Any who last night we had couples therapy and I think I am still in shock over what he sa...
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Helpangel
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11
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862
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Peaceful Friday
(Preview)
Dropping off good wishes for a peaceful day for us all. I am full of love for my program and gratitude for people walking alongside me. Prayers to John and immense gratitude to him. I am currently living a calm, satisfying life. Something I didn't think possible. My AH and I are living together in peace....
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Calm Lady
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2
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531
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Courage to Change (C2C) 1/12/17
(Preview)
Today's reading discusses watching a colony of bees. The writer is at first a bit intimidated and scared of the buzzing and frenzied motion, but is reminded that a sting is less likely if distance is kept between self and the action. Noted - "If I chose to maintain a safe distance from a dangerous situ...
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Iamhere
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6
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760
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Test results
(Preview)
Good news- my lung biopsy didn't show any cancer - just infection. Home recouperating and thanking HP for being with me every step. Feeling extreme gratitude toward my loved ones; both friends and family, the surgeon, nurses and all hospital staff. El
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El
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7
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617
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Heartbroken and depressed
(Preview)
Hello everyone and Happy New Year, I am new here. I stumbles on your forum while once again trying to find some answers or guidance on the internet. I am truly heart broken...and I feel broken. The depressions my Alcoholic husband has thrown me into just seems never ending...and I need some advice. So,...
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Arizons
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11
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2993
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Choices
(Preview)
Its great to have choices today. My old black and white thinking meant that I reacted to everything and everyone. Drama comes knocking and being in a spiritual program of recovery doesn't stop the challenges faced by others in my life who enjoy drama and the self pity parties. Today I get to decide how t...
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el-cee
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7
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1348
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trying not 2 make same mstakes
(Preview)
stressed over wanting not to make the same mistakes i have in my life. Also trying to fiquire out if the path im on, is where im supposed to be. I guess only the HP knows for sue these things. Still i dont want to be left holding the bag again, as far as my relationship goes. Im treading a line between helping a...
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YARNCRAZY
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2
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573
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Found out the Truth and I am Done :(
(Preview)
I know a lot of you have seen me here many many times defending my abf actions, asking multiple questions, trying to make sense of things. ( I have been with him for 4 1/2yrs) Despite the many setbacks (drinking then stopping for a bit, then drinking and stopping.. round and round) and physical abuse...
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Aerin
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7
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876
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When does it end...
(Preview)
my mother has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. And its tearing m my family apart, yet whenever shes sober I seem to be the only one who remembers her episodes. I struggle with keeping my anger towards her in when shes drinking and Im sick of picking up house duties as i have my own responsibil...
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Stormyyears
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4
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649
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Need thicker skin
(Preview)
I have a younger brother that lives 8 hours away and has been struggling with his alcohol and drug addiction for years now. He is now facing legal charges of abuse toward his gf. He is now homeless and without a job. I feel so bad for him but at the same time he made his bed and now needs to deal with it. There is...
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joker
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6
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725
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1/11/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon
(Preview)
In the format of 'Once upon a time...', today's ODAT page tells of a woman who, if asked, would tell you that she was unhappy about 'everything'. Tales of various woes followed, covering all aspects of her life in which she suffered. She had no time to care for herself, communicate with friends and fami...
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Enigmatic
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3
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520
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I am that woman ..
(Preview)
It has been a very long journey .. some extremely tiring and some invigorating .. probably some so not program that was both sides of that coin. I have learned a LOT in 5 years of trying to separate and divorce from the hot mess that is my XAH. I can't imagine getting marriage again .. I want to be in a posi...
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SerenityRUS
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5
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3147
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Angry, bitter and resentful
(Preview)
It's been a long time since I posted but I sure have missed being able to vent and reading from people who are experiencing the same situations. My husband had been clean and sober for over 13 years when he relapsed. I met him when he had 1 year of sobriety so being with an alcoholic is new to me. The man I knew...
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Dlove
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6
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2647
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Slipping
(Preview)
After my meeting with my AS 2 Saturdays ago, I felt strong and confident in my boundaries and my feelings toward him. It only took 1 week for me to start worrying and longing for him. Sadness is creeping back into my heart. I am finding myself consumed with him again. I can't stand this stupid disease. I ne...
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Tannersmom
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5
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592
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Hope for Today Jan 10
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how some children of alcoholics, ratheir than getting drunk on alcohol, get lost in emotional binges- unable to handle feelings, mood swings from euphoria to depression. The writer points out that the first step is a helpful tool in remembering tha...
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yanksfan51
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3
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589
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1/9/17 Hope for Today
(Preview)
Regarding behavior, a sponsor once told a member that once is a fluke, twice a coincidence, but three times is a pattern. Today's page suggests that if I am still suffering because of the same behavior that I have seen more than three times, than it is time to make an adjustment in my expectations, minds...
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Enigmatic
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8
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3159
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The bottom line...
(Preview)
Although I haven't posted in a bit, I read the posts every single day. I have been very busy preparing for surgery tomorrow. It is in-patient biopsy of a possible cancer. I have had scans, and tests of every sort and tomorrow we will know for sure. With all the doctor visits and consultations, I made a req...
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El
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5
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610
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Depression- I feel like it's a cycle and that I just run out of energy..
(Preview)
hi everyone. I have been trying to follow the steps and take care of me but sometimes I feel like my energy is completly taken from me. I can barely get motivated to do anything. I'll get up to do what I have to do but the rest of the time I just want to watch tv. It's weird but I have noticed that it is pattern w...
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Helpangel
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4
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755
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Oh another higher power happening
(Preview)
I woke up often last night with something relating to my son going round and round in my mind. I woke up with seething anger, i wanted to react, wake everyone up, tell them what was what, kick them all out, the whole dramatics, the urge was intense. I didnt, i sat with the anger, kind of allowed it to be, neve...
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el-cee
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2
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604
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Struggling- Need Help
(Preview)
Met a women in the program(AA) and starting dating. Nothing to romantic- just got together once a week or so. Went to dinner, movies and took her son to a hockey game. Moving really slow, felt really healthy to both of us. We never pushed or forced anything on one another. We liked each other uncond...
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Mike B
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12
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988
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Watching a miracle happen and in support.
(Preview)
We all have been here before ourselves. And we put it in print on the board. The anger and rage and blame and resentments and more..."our insanities". It happens in the meetings also and recently here at home in Hilo. Each time it happens we earn more experience with it and the woman who brings it....
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Jerry F
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2
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597
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So angry
(Preview)
How do I stop being so angry at my spouse? I am so full of rage not just anger when he is drinking. I cannot even stand to be around him. I am currently tapering off of the antidepressant I have been taking for the past 2 years and I can feel a difference right now in how I am dealing with him. I cannot tolerate it...
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Scarlet Begonias
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6
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3145
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Hospice - (edited)
(Preview)
This morning at 9 AM I am meeting with my Hospice worker for first time. It will be an in-home visit. Yes, my health condition is really so bad that its now time to start putting a solid treatment team together so my transition from flesh, to spirit can go forward with some level of dignity in caring hands....
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John
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25
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2917
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I think I hate my husband
(Preview)
My husband destroyed our friendships, his career, his body (he looks like a skeleton with skin), and, his brain, our relationship when he relapsed while I was pregnant near 4 years ago now. When I discovered what was really going on with him, I kicked him out of the house. I was 7 months pregnant and we ha...
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ValentineB
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10
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8326
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Enough Is Enough
(Preview)
I posted before about my son obviously being high when he would stop by my house,and how I felt the need to call him out on it,to know the truth.After that,I did my best to just mind my own business,not accuse him of being high,not ask if he was,I basically just ignored it. Things really got worse though.I...
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TessaB
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15
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944
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Having a rough life need help or advice?
(Preview)
Hello this is my very first time being on this al-anon group chatting website. I have a really bad alcoholic father who overly drinks on the weekends. I'm his only daughter who is going to be 28 in May. I don't know where to begin.... My dad is a hard working man he treats me alright Monday-Thursday but Fri...
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Kellie28
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1
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499
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Heartbroken after break up with alcoholic boyfriend
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new here. I feel a little strange asking people I don't know for support around this, but I think people here probably understand what I'm going through more than anyone else. In mid-June I broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend of two and a half years due to his drinking (he had stopped for three we...
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Mary328
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19
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2788
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how to cope
(Preview)
I am struggling to deal with my husband's drinking especially since my Mother has recently placed in a convalescent care facility. I am needing support to get through this ordeal, however instead of that I have a belligerent drunk man to cope with when I get home from visiting her. Both his parent's...
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LouiseR
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3
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572
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Alcoholic in recovery but question honesty
(Preview)
Hi all, Im in a 4 year relationship with an alcoholic who has been in active recovery over the past 2 years (has a sponsor, 5-6 meetings a week). He has had several relapses. What should I do if I see subtle signs (speech pattern and personality changes) that indicate to me, he may have been drinking?...
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Westport3124
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4
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732
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