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Watching a miracle happen and in support.
(Preview)
We all have been here before ourselves. And we put it in print on the board. The anger and rage and blame and resentments and more..."our insanities". It happens in the meetings also and recently here at home in Hilo. Each time it happens we earn more experience with it and the woman who brings it....
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Jerry F
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2
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400
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So angry
(Preview)
How do I stop being so angry at my spouse? I am so full of rage not just anger when he is drinking. I cannot even stand to be around him. I am currently tapering off of the antidepressant I have been taking for the past 2 years and I can feel a difference right now in how I am dealing with him. I cannot tolerate it...
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Scarlet Begonias
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6
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2657
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Hospice - (edited)
(Preview)
This morning at 9 AM I am meeting with my Hospice worker for first time. It will be an in-home visit. Yes, my health condition is really so bad that its now time to start putting a solid treatment team together so my transition from flesh, to spirit can go forward with some level of dignity in caring hands....
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John
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25
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2345
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I think I hate my husband
(Preview)
My husband destroyed our friendships, his career, his body (he looks like a skeleton with skin), and, his brain, our relationship when he relapsed while I was pregnant near 4 years ago now. When I discovered what was really going on with him, I kicked him out of the house. I was 7 months pregnant and we ha...
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ValentineB
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10
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6549
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Enough Is Enough
(Preview)
I posted before about my son obviously being high when he would stop by my house,and how I felt the need to call him out on it,to know the truth.After that,I did my best to just mind my own business,not accuse him of being high,not ask if he was,I basically just ignored it. Things really got worse though.I...
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TessaB
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15
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783
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Having a rough life need help or advice?
(Preview)
Hello this is my very first time being on this al-anon group chatting website. I have a really bad alcoholic father who overly drinks on the weekends. I'm his only daughter who is going to be 28 in May. I don't know where to begin.... My dad is a hard working man he treats me alright Monday-Thursday but Fri...
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Kellie28
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1
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349
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Heartbroken after break up with alcoholic boyfriend
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new here. I feel a little strange asking people I don't know for support around this, but I think people here probably understand what I'm going through more than anyone else. In mid-June I broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend of two and a half years due to his drinking (he had stopped for three we...
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Mary328
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19
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2414
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how to cope
(Preview)
I am struggling to deal with my husband's drinking especially since my Mother has recently placed in a convalescent care facility. I am needing support to get through this ordeal, however instead of that I have a belligerent drunk man to cope with when I get home from visiting her. Both his parent's...
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LouiseR
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3
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405
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Alcoholic in recovery but question honesty
(Preview)
Hi all, Im in a 4 year relationship with an alcoholic who has been in active recovery over the past 2 years (has a sponsor, 5-6 meetings a week). He has had several relapses. What should I do if I see subtle signs (speech pattern and personality changes) that indicate to me, he may have been drinking?...
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Westport3124
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4
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559
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Telling family about problem drinking in spouse
(Preview)
I am finally realizing that my husband has a drinking problem. I used to drink with him, before kids, and now only find time for a glass of wine maybe twice a week. He, however, drinks 2 beers nightly in front of me, and hides more on his way home from work. I found a full unopened beer under the bed (he wor...
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r3tr3v3d
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9
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1490
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Nocturnal visitors.
(Preview)
Deep breath...find serenity... Last night my dog killed a snake in the backyard. Or, at least I think it was a snake; it was dark and the security light switched itself off while I was trying to see what was going on. Which was really handy because to make it turn back on I would have had to walk past wh...
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MissM
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5
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475
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Focus on myself
(Preview)
I had a ohh moment. I was reading on line here and read about focusing on myself. I have been so much in physical pain lately, not sure, doctors are running tests, that focusing on the alcoholic has not even been an option for me. I am seeing the pain as my friend right now. It has been helping me to not to focu...
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joker
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3
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401
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G&a
(Preview)
I'm greatful that John f.is still with us and has recently posted.i always get a lot out of his posts. and I'm greatful the sun is fully out and shining bright, on this cold wintry day,last week we had 70s weather,this morning I wake up to it being 7 degrees. we so need it to stay in the freezing temps for at l...
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lookingup
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6
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313
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Partner dry since NYE, drinking again ...
(Preview)
(http://alanon.activeboard.com/t63080803/hello-checking-in-partner-has-been-sober-since-christmas-eve/),
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jitsuka
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4
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398
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ODAT readng 1-8-2017
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for January 8 speaks about the time when the alcoholic finally finds sobriety. It suggests that we, as Al-Anon members need to overcome the fear and anxiety that maybe this sobriety will not last. The reading suggests that we try to maintain our confidence and trust in the proces...
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hotrod
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4
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494
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Do I Need to make amends to my Qualifier?
(Preview)
Two things occurred last night while my husband was doing his usual 2 hour rant after coming home at 1:00 AM from drinking that have set me back. One, when he finally came to bed, he accidentally threw a pillow on top of me and I startled and said, "What are you doing?" He then said he was sorry and then qui...
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MovieGal
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10
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676
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Hello, checking in. Partner has been sober since Christmas Eve.
(Preview)
Hi everyone The A in my life is my partner, she's been drinking for years - I have no idea about her early life but has been using it as a crutch for social anxiety (she's also recently been clinically diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome). I know for sure that she's been drinking a lot (vodka) 'secretly' i...
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jitsuka
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7
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500
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Courage to Change 7/1
(Preview)
Today's c2c focuses on the "just for today" suggestion that "Just for today, I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax". It suggests that at first this is very difficult for many of us and so we might try 5 minutes, then 10 and so on until we are able to comfortably take 30 minutes to relax however...
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MissM
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3
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340
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Are we co-dependents?
(Preview)
A friend of mine told me I should go to a co-dependents meeting because those most affected by drinking are co-dependent. She explained that those traits cause all the pain because they don't live their lives and everything the alcoholic is doing affects every aspect of their lives. It made sense to...
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wifeofalcoholic
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8
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564
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continued progress
(Preview)
I am grateful this week is coming to an end. Its been insanely busy for me. My mind has been all over the place and my to do list just keeps growing, but I was able to get what had to be done this week accomplished. Its a great feeling. Wednesday I thought I would die. My body hurt all over so bad no amount of any p...
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joker
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2
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375
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options to verify sobriety/mental stability for a parenting plan
(Preview)
I am looking for a list of ways to verify sobriety/mental stability for a parenting plan. What are the sober parents asking for to keep the kids safe if/when there is a relapse? I am in California For example: monthly random drug test psychiatrist signing off to report on medication noncompliance...
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lard
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3
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6171
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Alcoholic depressed daughter in law
(Preview)
My daughter in law has a severe drinking problem and other psychological issues. Her behavior toward me is on again and off. One minute she is nicey nice to me + then will completely shut me out. I feel like I need to walk around on egg shells with her + be careful what I say. What's a mom to do when she is ju...
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See
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3
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470
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yay not nuts (not entirely)
(Preview)
Got my ct scan results back today. Bulging disc with nerve compression, plus degenerating facet joints and slight scoliosis. I am grateful to know its not all in my head which is a quite ridiculous fear considering that hello! You couldn't move. Lol. So there's an unexpected gratitude for a tang...
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a4l
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4
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371
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Happy New Year
(Preview)
Hello and Happy New Year! I just wanted to say hi and thank you to everyone for sharing your thoughts. In the past year that I've been on this board, it has been a lifesaver for me. So much experience (which I am sorry that all of you have) and wisdom (which I am grateful that you have). Two things I am cautio...
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Fedora
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2
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336
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C2C (Courage to Change) for 1/6/17
(Preview)
Today's reading in our C2C literature discusses the importance of fellowship and support from other members in our program. Reaching out to others between meetings is a great tool to use - it helps us as well as the other person - our ability to share, get/give ESH, reason things out - fellowship is a g...
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Iamhere
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2
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358
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Relapse
(Preview)
A few days ago, my AH relapsed. All the old feelings of anger, resentment, sadness, fear and frustration came up. I know I shouldn't talk to a person who is has been drinking but I did and it didn't have a good outcome. I know better. The next day we talked a little and I also sent him an E-mail to express...
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wifeofalcoholic
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3
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445
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Courage to Change (C2C) 1/5/17
(Preview)
Today's daily in Courage to Change talks about enabling, compassion and motives....So many of us came to the program believing we were helping with compassion by covering for the alcoholic - making excuses, cleaning up financial messes, etc. The program shows us that when we did/do this, we were e...
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Iamhere
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8
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2550
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a vent and asking for suggestions on how to share with an A about their behavior
(Preview)
The truly "baffle"ng part of my AH's behavior, for me, is that I just really have no idea when he has been drinking, or hasn't. I see behavior that I correlate with his drinking, but, I am not sure... maybe he is acting that way anyhow. The only reason it matters, is that in the course of human relationshi...
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oceanpine
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3
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734
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Finding love again
(Preview)
I just got divorced a month ago (after being separated for a long time). I didn't think of myself as being married to an addict, but he was (food, porn, all kinds of things that popped up). I didn't realize it, but I had used codependent skills in that marriage. I recently met a great guy. He's an "on the wag...
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MomInMo
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14
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635
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Step 10 on Step Board
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63082686/alanon-step-10-1-5-2017/
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hotrod
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0
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386
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Working on my recovery in spite of his continued dry drunk defensiveness
(Preview)
Hi all! I was wondering how people focus on themselves when the attitude and defensiveness is really shoved in your face with a dry drunk. I really do try and take that focus off of it but man it is hard when they constantly complain that their sick or tired or exhausted or blah, blah, blah.. I mean I am gett...
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Helpangel
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3
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486
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Making small steps forward
(Preview)
I went to a face to face meeting on Monday night and found myself a sponsor. She too lives with an active alcoholic and it was great to hear the tools she is using to manage. I shared with her what had happened during Christmas and my reflections and what my part was in the insanity. Oh my goodness, I had a hug...
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joker
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6
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396
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1/4/17 Courage to Change
(Preview)
How does AlAnon work? That's what today's writer wondered upon arriving as many do: desperate and alone. These are the things that were done by those who had found serenity: * Attend AlAnon meetings, share if you can * Work the Steps (To overachievers: ONE at a time * Get a sponsor * Read from AlAnon...
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Enigmatic
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3
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2548
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On the resentment list
(Preview)
My ex (in recovery ) is working on his fourth step and tonight , almost proudly told me I made his list of resentments , specifically for being a part of the intervention. i guess I know his intent wasn't to make me feel bad and that my reaction internally is mine to own, but it still threw me off. All I sai...
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Crau
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10
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2198
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How do I know what to do when my thoughts and feelings seem to constantly change?
(Preview)
thank you in advance for taking the time to read this and share-these boards bring me a lot of peace and insight. i have shared my current experience before-my boyfriend had been sober for almost ten years, we had been together for four when he started to drink again. He is a completely different person...
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Voodoo
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6
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526
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Why is it so hard for me to choose a sponsor?
(Preview)
I have been "in the program" of Al-Anon for over a year (it will be 2 years in March). I know I need a sponsor, I know it will aid in my recovery, but it paralyzes me with fear to ask someone to do that for me. Why is it so difficult? I keep thinking the right person hasn't come along and I am not sure if I want to...
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Bethany66
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9
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650
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Our Meeting
(Preview)
We received an email from our AS; he wants to come home. He was apologetic for all the nasty things he said. He said those things because we had made him so mad. His girlfriends life was horrible and he just wanted to take care of her. He wanted to move back home with his girlfriend. My ex and I told him w...
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Tannersmom
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5
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446
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FTF meetings - giving everyone time to share
(Preview)
I'd appreciate any suggestions about how to approach the following FTF meeting issues \ problems I'm encountering - I intend to bring the issues up in a Group Conscience, but any suggestions about how to do that effectively are welcome. 1 - sharings at meetings about problems completely unrelated t...
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texas yankee
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4
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563
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Meeting cross talk
(Preview)
So, I'm new to all this. Very new. But at a meeting last night a lady did her share. Then the next lady took a turn - and spent it telling the last lady what she should do about her situation and how she should feel. I mean, it was good and kind advice, but it bothered me because I thought we weren't supposed to d...
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MomInMo
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4
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782
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The decision to leave was hard.
(Preview)
I met him in june 2015. He was just starting probation for a year for what i thought was 2 DUI's. (Turned out to be 4, 2 as a minor, 2 as an adult) All before i met him. He stole my heart. The following June he cleared probation with no mess ups. He was so strong and amazing. It started one weekend at a time before...
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Cutty1105
|
9
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570
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1/2/17 Courage to Change
(Preview)
Even after we begin our recovery, we may find that still feel resentful at times when we don't get the support or affection we want/need from our qualifier. Today's page highlights the role our misplaced expectations play in this, similar to expecting to find bread in a hardware store. There are many...
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Enigmatic
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4
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665
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Acceptance
(Preview)
When I first came to Al Anon I used to say the Serenity prayer wrong I would say it like this "God, Grant me the Serenity to change the things I cannot change.." It still makes me laugh because I think it was just a little too representative of my mindset when I first stepped into the rooms. Acceptance is s...
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KT2015
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3
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1105
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Hope for Today Jan 3
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- and Happy New Year! Today's reading is a reminder that although we may have suffered the effects of the family disease of alcoholism, it is not our fault nor the alcoholic's fault in regard to the disease. The program helps us to navigate the effects of this disease with the tool...
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yanksfan51
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3
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480
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did your loved alcoholic die? can you help me prepare?
(Preview)
My mother is in another drinking binge and I saw her tonight for the first time in a while. She doesn't even look like herself. She is so, so swollen, particularly her face and abdomen. Her face is almost unrecognizable because the swelling has distorted her features. We had a really nice talk together...
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hiraeth
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12
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715
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Grateful today
(Preview)
Happy news years everyone. I am so grateful for a new year. I had a very nice evening last night-no drinking by the ABF. I went out and went for a steam bath and visited with my daughter and it was wonderful. I came home and the ABF had the fire place burning wood and candles lit up all over the living room. It w...
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joker
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5
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410
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Alcoholic daughter in law
(Preview)
Trying to talk to me like I'm her therapist
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See
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11
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694
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depression (I'm new, any advice is welcome)
(Preview)
My relationship with a guy that i thought was the love of my life ended 4 months ago, but i still can't seem to let go of it. I still want him back, the background story is very long and it hurts my heart to talk about it, but long story short i want to get back with this man but everyone is telling me to let go of hi...
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Maggie91
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9
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595
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On reflection...
(Preview)
Thanks for the ESH on my lengthy post (re conversations with X). I'll start a new thread rather than resurrecting that transcript over and over, because it probably doesn't benefit anyone other than me to read it, really. It's amazing; no matter what I expect when I share something here, the perspect...
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MissM
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6
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565
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Hauoli Makahiki ho
(Preview)
That of course translates to Happy New Year. There is no more loving group of people I could wish that to than my MIP Ohana my MIP family...I wish that for you all each day that comes at you and finds you serene. (((((hugs))))
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Jerry F
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10
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498
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2 short years ago.....
(Preview)
2 years ago on New Year's Day I was busy celebrating that the last miserable holiday season with my XAH was coming to a close. I had found a new home to rent, I was packing like crazy, and I was ignoring my XAH's drunken barbs and passive aggressive attempts to engage me. I remember thinking that I would...
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andromeda
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6
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506
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Help learning how to become accountable with my sponsor
(Preview)
I've been in al anon a little over six years and have worked with my sponsor for five of those. Working with her has been incredible. I trust her implicitly. My life has changed through al anon. But it's been very difficult, and very slow--as it is for many of us. Throughout this time I've been wholly inco...
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ilovelucy
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12
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590
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Can Al-Anon work for non-spiritual atheists?
(Preview)
I don't think things are going to work with Al-Anon. I tried, I wanted it to work so bad, my life passed "unmanageable" several miles back and I was really hoping I was going to find help... but I'm an atheist. At first I thought I could make it work... get through step two calling the group my hi...
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atheos
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33
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10269
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a pre emptive sanity saving vent
(Preview)
Ok. So im a bit more mobile today and took great pleasure hobbling my crutches out the door. Still can't bend or lift anything including the babies which i really miss. Pain is constant but manageable and the spasms have dialled down to twitces. I think i can handle a chiropractor now and definitel...
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a4l
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4
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497
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AA meetings and my thoughts
(Preview)
I have been attending AA meetings for the past 4 years now and I still struggle with the don't take the first drink deal. I have never been a heavy drinker in my life. The most I ever, ever drank in my life was when I did a 10 day bender. I was able to get up in the morning and attend to business and then then start...
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joker
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3
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2420
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Dry Drunk is almost worse..
(Preview)
I still cannot grasp why the A is a very selfish person. Even as a dry drunk I still see the selfishness. He sees me as "not letting him do what he wants"??. There is only one thing that he doesn't do right now and that is drink! ( technically 90 days in the program but has slipped up maybe 5-8x that I know of, h...
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Aerin
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7
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2941
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ODAT Reading 1-1-2017
(Preview)
Happy New Year Everyone. I have decided that this year I'm going to share the daily readings from the ODAT. I have been sharing from the C2C for the past year and think a change would work well The ODAT reading for January 1 speaks about this being the beginning of a new year wh...
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hotrod
|
7
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519
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I know it's time to go
(Preview)
I want a divorce. After much prayer, program and counseling, I've gotten to a place where I know I want to be by myself. We have been living in parallel for a while now. I am at peace with this. I'm sad and dreading the technical part of getting through a divorce, and I know in my heart it's the right thing fo...
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Mcat54
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7
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636
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turned my pity party into gratitude
(Preview)
Happy New Year everyone. So as the title says, my program thinking helped me turn my attitude around. I needed an operation a week or so before Christmas. I had been a few weeks before for the consultation and at that time, it seemed to me that most people in the waiting room had their partner with them for...
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Calm Lady
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6
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416
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Drunk Talk
(Preview)
I'm sure everyone here knows what I mean. My AH and I have been fighting a lot lately about him staying out drinking. I'm not giving him heck about drinking bc I know he won't quit that until he's ready. I'm asking him to come drink at home instead of staying at his workplace all the time with his friends. He...
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Jayla
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14
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2964
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To those struggling through the holidays
(Preview)
I just want to wish you peace and serenity. The majority of this year was awful between me and my qualifier AH but I truly credit this program with helping me obtain peace and regain my sense of self. Definitely a work in progress for sure but it ended mostly better than it began and for that I am grateful. L...
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mb2016
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2
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369
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