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setting default on message board
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is there a way i can set the default to always show me posts in the order they were modified? So most current replies are near the top of the page?
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Barbara
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4
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724
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It hurts so bad
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It hurts so bad to know that people I considered friends and my mother-in-law are talking about me behind my back. I called her and confronted her tonight and she said she thought it was horrible to leave the way I did (while my husband was at work and the baby was at the beach with the in-laws).&nbs...
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Powerless
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4
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751
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Finances
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OK so we're suppose to let "them" figure things out for themselves, make their own mistakes, etc - but what happens when it affects the family? Before DH was out for 8wks recuperating (from kidney removal) he had been calling in sick (maybe once a month) on Fridays due to overdrinking (he wont admit tha...
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Barbara
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5
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508
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Mind Games
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Boy does my alcoholic husband love playing them.
How do I not fall victim?
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Barbara
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3
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535
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Read a book By James Frey
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I read a book last week by James Frey titled, A Million Little Pieces. He was an addict/alcoholic and jouraled his rehab experience. It helped so much to see addiction from another point of view. I saw him today on Oprak and I think he has been wonderfully successful with his recove...
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Powerless
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5
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748
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leaving DS in Gods hands - going away for wknd
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A friend heard that I joined Curves, joined Church and went to an Al-Anon meeting. She invited me for a Girls Weekend away to chill. I'll enjoy the time shopping, having lunch out, chatting, etc. We're leaving Fri at noontime and returning Sun morn (told her I want to be back in time for Church).
DH wil...
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Barbara
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7
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713
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This program works if you work it but.....
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It isn't an easy journey! My daughter seems to be doing well even though she is living with her now out of prison newest boyfriend who was in prison for 3 years for intervenious drugs,,,grrrr. Trying not to make that my issue. Thank god she doens't bring him to the house. HIs dad and brother...
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cdb
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8
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626
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Do you believe in Post Traumatic
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I was wondering if anyone else even though your not daily involved with an Active A still suffers from nightmares and images that pop into your head as memories of events. I know it is often referred to as post traumatic disorder. Sometimes I'm just sitting watching tv or driving home and...
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bd
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8
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628
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who are the most experienced names on this message board?
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Im starting to recognize a few of the same names on posts, etc.
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Barbara
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6
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598
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update
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Hi Everyone!!!!
I have read some posts but am still behind, the ones I have read seems everyone is working hard at taking care of themselves!!!! 
This last week has been interesting. My A came home on the 16th with certain conditions. I feel comfortable with the decisi...
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marmare
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5
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553
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pls help me stop complaining about DH to DS
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as I know its not helping DS
Everytime DH begins drinking I say to DS "well your father is at it again" His response "Yes, Mom I know"
I know I need to act like the adult here. DS knows whats going on without me making it blatent.
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Barbara
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5
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760
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how do you let your A know youre going to Al-Anon?
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Recently joined Curves - didnt tell A till the next day.
Recently joined another Church - again didnt tell A till the next day
Went to an Al-Anon meeting but told A I went shopping. Well I cant keep "shopping" every week for 3hours! How do I tell him Im going to Al-Anon? (and why are those meetings alwa...
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Barbara
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6
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656
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Online chair needed for Friday AM (10/28)
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Hello -I am asking if someone would fill in for me for this Friday's am meeting (10/28)
I have a doctors appointment at this exact time and will be unable to do it. Thank you to whoever will be able to fill in. Apologize for this inconvenience, I only found out now. Tea2
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tea2
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2
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657
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mountains or mole hills?
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Problems have only the size and the power that you give them. --S. H.
We will not be free from all difficulties today, or during any period of our lives. But we have the personal power to eliminate the threat, the sting of any challenge. But it's our vision of circumstances that gives them their inte...
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rosie light shines
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1
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678
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Feeling good
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Hello all,
I have been struggling this week because I have plans this weekend that don't include my family. All weekend. I am attending an alanon function on Saturday. Sunday I am going to a frineds house because she is having some sort of party were you get to try lotions and perfumes and stuff like th...
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Dolphin123
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3
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688
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Life
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Hi roomies!
For any of you who have not been to: www.hazeldon.org it's worth a look. Sign up for the daily gift. Some of them are quite remarkable. This was today's. Hope you like it.
"Life
Make each day count! Give yourself to everydawn of renewed hope. Look for love, forgiveness, and right...
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Karilynn
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4
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758
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i am sad today...another grief cycle
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Subject: Meditation: A Resting Place Daily Reflections, page 137
After writing down my character defects, I was unwilling to talk about them, and decided it was time to stop carrying this burden alone. I needed to confess those defects to someone else... Step Five provided m...
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rosie light shines
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2
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855
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GOT HELP
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Yesterday I came home and my husband didn't seem right. He was acting funny. He was talking funny well any way, after a while his adult son and I had enough of this behavior. He didn't know where he was and stuff like that. I end up calling my online sponsor. In the mean time I was like baby sitting him, it rea...
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nycbt
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3
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690
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I pour his booze down the sink
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every week Im pouring 16 oz (from 1/2gal bottle) of vodka down the sink and replacing his bottle with water. Been doing this for lets say about 10yrs now. He's never questioned me - how can he not know? We have a now 13yr at home. When he was little I wouldnt want him home w/Dad drinking. At least this way I wo...
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Barbara
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8
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1457
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I think I've learned One thing
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And that is to try and take care of me. So I'm learning. I'm taking baby steps. My A is very important to me. My A is difficult. My A is my source of income. My A USED to be my life. I'm so confused now. Society thinks life is so easy. "Oh just move out and leave." Well it's not. I don't know. Can someone enlighten...
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Cathy
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8
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702
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thank you everyone
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hi
thank you for your support, its really appriated,
i feel a bit better tonight.
many thanks
jean
take care
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jeannie024
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1
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600
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abstaining from bad relationships
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Abstaining from Harmful Relationships
Habit sometimes locks us into relationships, which are not in our best interest. It is easy to mistake dependency for love. When we stop overeating compulsively, we can evaluate our attachments to other people with greater clarity and perception than w...
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rosie light shines
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2
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736
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emotional subriety
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Emotional Sobriety "If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy demand. Let us, with God's help, continually surrender these hobbling liabilities. Then we can be set free to live and love; we may then b...
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rosie light shines
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1
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548
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Anne Frank and my gratitude
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Whoever is happy will make others happy, too. --Anne Frank
Anne Frank had good reason to be unhappy, full of fear, and deeply discouraged. Years of her life were spent in a small apartment hiding from the Nazis who wanted to destroy her and her family. Yet even in this little hiding place she had hap...
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rosie light shines
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1
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712
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like to thank MEGAN AND LUCY
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I WOULD LIKE TO THANK TWO IMPORTANT PEOPLE HERE ONLINE LUCY AND MEGAN FOR ALL THERE HELP.
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nycbt
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1
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635
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I went back to Church last Christmas season
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for about 6wks during Advent. Once Christmas arrived I stopped going to Church.
Now that I joined a different Catholic Church Im going for the AA aspect too, not just the Christmas season. I believe the pastor is a recovering alcoholic. He works at a rehab also. His sermons speak sometimes of alcoho...
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Barbara
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0
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466
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party`s
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i am a great believer in a bit of planning. my partner has done so well 54 days sober . but the christmas season of party`s will be with us soon. we have been out a few times .he has been tempted but has resisted so far but alcohol is a cunning seducer that calls. And we have a few social/ work party`s to go too. i...
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Mars
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6
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602
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Ride the train
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my Mom sent this in an email today, thought you might all enjoy it.
Love Jeannie
Ride the Train
Some folks ride the train of life Looking out the rear, Watching miles of life roll by, And marking every year. They sit in sad remembrance, Of wasted days gone by, And curse their life for w...
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Jeannie
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3
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610
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I’ve got the Face to Face blues….. Need help!
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Lately it seems like no matter what kind of mood I am in when I go to a face to face meeting I come out feeling really crappy. I am no longer able to talk in the meetings and by the end I am sooo ready to high tail it out of there. After the meetings I am usually light headed and woozy. This week I started shaking, I...
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sandie123
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5
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607
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Detaching with love
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How do you detach with love from an active alcoholic who and living in your house? I don't get it.
Any ESH would be appreciated!
Thanks~
Linda
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sandie123
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7
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658
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I DID GOOD
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I did good thing yesterday. I drove to my parents house and his adult son called me to tell me that he was drunk. I had not talk to my husband since 3 pm, after I found out he called his father. His son called me around 6pm. I went to the doctor and didn't call him until 9pm. So that was 7 HRS. When I wanted t...
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nycbt
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5
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537
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Totally confused, frustrated and hurt
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I just read tanderboo’s post about the family afterwards, and sandie’s rely prompted me to ask for some feedback.
Quick background, I’m 2 years sober and my marriage didn’t survive sobriety. I couldn’t give my wife what she wanted quickly enough in recovery. We were divorced in August and still...
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UncleLou
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8
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626
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for NEWbees a lighthearted look at 12 steps
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people keep asking me public and private, "what are the steps??? really what are they about???" so i kind of did this light hearted *short take*
step 1....i have discovered that my life is unmanageable do to............... i am powerle...
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rosie light shines
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5
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573
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Anybody know where I can get The Bridge?
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Does anyone know where I can get that analogy of how we cross a bridge sometimes and need to leave people behind......
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sanddie
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3
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592
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new here
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Just wanted to introduce myself before I headed to bed. I live with an alcoholic husband. He recently had a kidney removed due to cancer. Seems to be that should have been enough for him to turn his life around and cut down on his drinking. But no! When he was out of work recuperating he actually drank more...
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Barbara
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3
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570
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this is my story can u help me??
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Hi, my name is Lauren I am 17 years old, and from the ages of 3 -11. I was sexually molested by my father. I still have nightmares thinking it is still happening. The most frightening thing of all is that he wasnt the only person, when I was 3 years old I was first sexually molested by my neighbor, who was als...
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Lauren ashley
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10
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772
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I don't understand why!
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Hi,
I haven't posted for a couple of weeks now but have been reading the board just about every day.
Again my daughter had another bout with trouble. As I said in earlier post she lost her kids due to her drinking and carelessness. They are with the families who agreed to keep the...
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sandy
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8
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648
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Why can't my pain go away???
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Corrupted I am
I sit here in sweet surrender
Shivering cold and lonely… hypothermia suddenly kicks in
I look blue and so thin
I am corrupted; I’m not the person you thought I was set out to be
I cannot run
Sitting here and wondering why makes me think of different ways I want to die
...
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Lauren ashley
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5
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631
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It's Time....
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I just wanted to share with everyone who has read my posts over the past couple of weeks in which I have been faced with much hardship in abusive situations with my employer, my daughter, my ex husband..... As some of you know, my doctor has even kept me off work until this coming Monday so th...
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sanddie
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2
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492
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Thank You....
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to those of you who responded to my posts the other day. Today is a good day. I'm scrubbing floors and cleaning just to stay busy because I'm off work. Anyway, I'm still reading through alot of the posts and trying to learn. Plus the A hasn't drank in two days. I know you all say to take care of me when you live...
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Cathy
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2
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497
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I am dying inside and torn apart,,,,
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I have learned so much in this program and what tools i have used got thrown out the door today. I got engaged in an argument with my spouse and I took it very personally. I guess he knows when to get me when I am at my lowest. I don't know why I pray to God for a happy/better marriage and then this happens. The&n...
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cdb
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34
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1156
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my nephews, one day at a time
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I have two nephews, my husband's brother's kids (two boys, ages 5 and 7). Last year my brother in law and his wife separated. The boys live with their mother. Their father seems to be pretty torn up by their relationship, isn't taking care of himself, and doesn't have anything to do with his kids, let alo...
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pixel04
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0
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425
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Trying times need your prayers
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Hello all.
My 61 yr old grandmother unexpectedly passed away on Saturday, and her funeral is tomorrow.
Now you might think that I need the prayers for the funeral, but I beleive in my HP, so don't think that dying is such a terrible thing.
I do, however, think that being in the same room as the mot...
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captcodee
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8
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607
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Question and intro
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Hi ya'll,
I'm new to these boards, this site was suggested to me by someone in a f2f al-anon group. I'm so glad she directed me here, I'm seeing more of myself as I go through all the posts.
Reading through the posts, I keep seeing "esh" mentioned. I've been struggling to figure out just...
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FreeOfTheBottle
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4
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570
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rant
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Hello everyone this is camra some of you know me from the chat room, I had a very bad day today and needed to just rant but have on one to talk to so here I go.
Can anyone tell me why the strong pick on the weak? Can anyone tell me why disabled people get discriminated agaisnt?&nb...
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fitone
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2
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514
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Scared.. but wants to Trust
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My husband of 4 years is in Recovery..
For 3 of the 4 years of our Marriage he had been using Drugs (Crack) and Alcohol. He has been in a Treatment Center 3 times and has "played" at starting AA more times then I can count..
We left him a few weeks ago, I had enough finally.. He tried to cut his wrist, then b...
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Marylin
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9
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666
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Journaling questions
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I've been meaning to start a journal about what I am going through in regards to living with an alcoholic. I'm just kind of "stuck" at how to do it. I'd really like to put down my feelings but I also need to put down what happened or what was said.... do those of you that keep a journal write all t...
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dogscribe
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4
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1901
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Why bother?
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Hello everybody
Hope you are all peaceful today.
I told you guys I would let you know what me and my husband worked out for chore duty since I will begin working soon.
Well that night he came home high and was totally off base about what we had discussed earlier and was in no condition to talk a...
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browneyes
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7
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812
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Two Wolves
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I saw this on another board and thought it would be appropriate here as well.
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, g...
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dogscribe
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3
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594
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txmom/daughter
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If possible could you please let us know how the funeral went. I will be thinking of you all day today. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you as well as so many from this chatsite. So many here were affected by the love and support that Dadrrb gave us and I know that grieving is hard for online friend...
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cdb
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0
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502
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grateful today
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I have historically been a perfectionist. Even things that go perfectly well in and of themselves, I've felt compelled to tweak them because if I did they could be "better."
My sponsor talked with me for a long time about the my tendency to stare at the spot on the wall, instead of appreciating the r...
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pixel04
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4
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490
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need an online sponsor
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Hi all:
I think I've been losing ground lately in the sense that I am not having patience with myself or my A. I feel that an online sponsor would be helpful. I have been seeing a lot of my A lately, and I don't know where the relationship is going. We still do not have any physical real...
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Kim
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1
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567
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i need an online sponsor
(Preview)
yea i need an online sponsor because i need someone to talk to and help me through this pain and loneliness
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Lauren ashley
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1
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477
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Hi to All from My Daughter
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As most of you know, my husband (dadrrb) passed away yesterday. The wonderful words of sympathy and encouragement touched me so much that I shared them with our 14 year old daughter. She's asked me questions about the conversations going one in our room. Did Daddy talk abo...
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txmom
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10
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731
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dadrrb1....farewell my friend
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For those who have not heard, dadrrb1 passed away, 10-23-05. I dont know any specifics right now, will post more when I do... In the time he was here, he touched so many of our lives, with his sense of humor, and his kindness. He will be greatly missed. My prayers go out to you Robert, as you journey int...
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buzzfree
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2
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572
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Sponsors
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I've only had my sponsor for 2 weeks and i don't think it's working out. I want to ask someone else to sponsor me but I'm not sure what to say to my current sponsor. This is one of my defects for sure, not facing my troubles. I know it needs to be done I just know exactly how to say it, or to at...
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April
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6
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561
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How do you get an online sponsor?
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I do not have a f2f sponsor. How do you go about getting an online sponsor?
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bcraindrop70
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2
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495
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gratitude where are you?
(Preview)
Hello
I am so glad I found this site I need to vent...after I do so it seems I can be more grateful and pay attention to things in my life that need it.
I have been struggling with my own character defects which have supported my husbands use. They have been dishonesty (I deny what he is doi...
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Therese
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6
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580
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Calming Down
(Preview)
Hello All,
Well if you read my last post, you know that life is crazy. As always 
Anyway-
When I got home from work last night I was expexting to be treated coldly by my "A". Well, once again he failed to meet my expectations  He had my some clothes la...
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Dolphin123
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2
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536
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One of our A's died NEED ES&H NOW PLEASE
(Preview)
Hello all, I come to you with very sad news that many of you will feel on a personally level. Daddrrb died this morning. What a horrible disease this is. With Txmom's permission I am posting here asking you all to offer ES&H to her. I know others in here have been where she i...
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mastiff
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