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our A is still @ Zero
(Preview)
I'm disappointed. My step-father says he's going to meetings but who knows?!!
The junk he comes out with is so awful! He says he doesn't think he even has a problem & resents my mother for telling him if he wants to live with her, he has to go to mtgs & abstain from alcohol.
...
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kitty
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5
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504
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update on Saturday night
(Preview)
I posted my update on the original thread, but I think it got lost! Just wanted to share w/those that were following my weekend plans.
Here it is....
Well we went out last night..went to dinner. Nice lil' place that serves good cajun food in town. I was excited to spend some "alone" time w/my A.,...
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sg
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3
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511
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*POP* Off falls the pity pot....
(Preview)
You guys are so great! Thanks to all of you who just let me be me! I am so thankful that you all supported the part of me who actually NEEDED to sit on the pity pot. The stupid voice inside my head that tells me that I am not allowed to take an emotional break did not like to hear all the suppo...
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captcodee
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4
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357
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i feel numb
(Preview)
hi guys:
i don't know what to feel anymore i guess i feel numb. i miss my husband very much we spent a couple of hours on sunday together it was so nice. my husband told me he misses me so much. he loves to spend time with me but it hurts to leave. we talk on the phone a couple a times a day but...
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chrissy
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8
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590
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How did you set/enforce boundaries about abusive behavior
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
These last three days have been particularly tough. My A has been drinking a lot and has been particularly nasty. In the past it has always been directed at me, although often in the presence of my kids or directly involving my kids ("don't listen to mom, she's mean"...
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Magpie
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7
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553
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Amputation
(Preview)
I sympathize with you all that are trying to leave your A or get them to leave you alone. My A who moved out in June has done the opposite. A counselor called it an amputation. He doesn't want very much interaction with me at all. He says that we will always have some sort of relationship because of our three...
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nmike
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3
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447
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staying in the *NOW*
(Preview)
One of the conclusions I have come to in my old age is the importance of living in the ever-present now. In the past, too often I indulged in the belief that somehow or other tomorrow would be brighter or happier or richer. --Ruth Casey
How easily our minds jump from the present to the foibles of the pa...
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rosie light shines
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1
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314
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Here I go again on my own
(Preview)
Hey Friends
I have been living with someone for about a year. We have been together for about a year and a half. Things haven't been that great for the last month. He is not an A but he is emotionally retarded as far as I'm concerned. Well anyway....we have spoke little over t...
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bd
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5
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495
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Cautiously optimistic (will this lead to re-marriage?)
(Preview)
I'm hoping my ex wife has finally hit bottom. For the past month she has been depressed to the point of almost not functioning, especially on Sunday nights and Monday mornings. God put another couple in our lives, our daughter's friend's parents. Although alcoholism wasn't involved with them, they...
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UncleLou
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8
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720
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Can't get to a meeting
(Preview)
Hi
I've been trying over week, but there is no way for me to get to a meeting. I have no to watch my daughter at night and work during the day. I can't go on my lunch because there's just not enough time. Feeling a little discouraged about all. It feels like there is some force ag...
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bd
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6
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310
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I blew it. Venting.
(Preview)
I haven't posted here before but have hung out in the chat room from time to time.
I really blew it with my AH this last week. He had gotten into more trouble at the end of August and spent 10 days in jail. I had planned on not letting him come back home this time. We talked, I put forth some conditions, he a...
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SashaBear
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9
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440
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I read the dilemma of the alcoholic marriage: Questions
(Preview)
Hello Roomies:
I got my copy of the Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage today. I was so excited that I read it through dinner and didn't even turn on the TV. I definitely related to alot of it. I have a few questions to throw out to you though.
1) as my husband has had the tendency to frequent establishmen...
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Kim
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3
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4387
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Progress starts with ME
(Preview)
Here is an update on true progress.
My hubby still is not sober, but MY changed attitude was shown clearly today.
We had to punish our children for quite a severe lie today, and we actually sat at the table and talked it out, finding the best solution we could think of.
He is not in a program. M...
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captcodee
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3
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410
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For Sheila (she123)
(Preview)
I read these when my mom died somehow they came by email at the right time. The letter from heaven one was read at my moms service, the priest read it for her it was the poem read at the pope's service , thought it might be a little comforting to you, was to me I know that even a little relief his suffering has en...
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kerry5
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1
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482
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Looking for support
(Preview)
Hello everyone,
I am new here and have been affected by alcoholism. It is a very sad thing, yet I know I am powerless over his disease. I met this man a year ago, and I grew to care about him. He drank a few times when I was with him, but never did I expect him to be an alcoholic. As t...
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Diane43
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3
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411
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Take what you want.....
(Preview)
I had a tough day yesterday. Someone told me something I did not want to hear. I felt like they were belittling my actions. This sent me into a negative downwards spiral. I began self doubting myself once more. It really hurt my mind-set and my progress.
I had been told 3 times that morning that I was w...
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sandie123
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4
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452
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Holding my own
(Preview)
Hi Friends
Just wanted to let you all know that as each day goes by and the more and more posts I read, I can feel myself getting stronger. For the first time in my life I don't feel alone and still can;t get over the honesty and openess of this group. Everyone's post hits close to home and has...
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bd
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3
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341
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A Good Quote
(Preview)
Friends, "It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. ...I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing."
-- Oriah Mountain Dreamer In love and spirit, Lani Children of Alcoholics: http://lanipicard.com/coa.htm
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Lani
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0
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300
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KEEP COMING BACK,,,,,,,
(Preview)
"Keep coming back" is a phrase we often hear in alanon. Why is it so important? Because many of us have grown so hardened in our fights with alcoholics or flights from alcoholics that we literally found it difficult to sit still for the process of recovery. We had to have answers right away or take action...
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gardengal
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1
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546
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Easy does it...but do it
(Preview)
I have learned in this program how to open my mouth and express myself and to ask for help. I didn't do those kinds of things when I was growing up. Last week at a meeting I mentioned a problem I was having and what my approach to it was. After the meeting, others shared with me what had worked for them. It ne...
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pixel04
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1
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555
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Questions
(Preview)
I'm having a bad day, my mind id going in a million directions.
I have so many questions that I am tired of rationalizing.
How is my husband in denial. He knows what his drinking has done, he knows it is destroying his health. He knows it has cost him several jobs, he knows it is costing him his family, a...
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Jeannie
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6
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403
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GOOD DAY
(Preview)
Yesterday was a good day. I went to the park and walked around the track. And then I went to my sisters house and spent time with her and her family. It was a very good day.
My active alcholic father has sign into a rehab.
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nycbt
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5
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360
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let go
(Preview)
I just found this and love it. I think all of us here will like it to.
Please look at this webpage
http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/to-letgo.php
enjoy my friends
NIKKILOU -- Edited by nikkilou at 12:15, 2005-10-17
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nikkilou
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3
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363
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Update: Advice & Strength
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone
Well, after I wrote my post here last night, I decided to give it one more try. I gave him another call. As usual, I got the voicemail and left a message telling him that obviously he really didn't want me to keep in touch, so I won't bother him anymore, I love you..Goodnight. About...
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hadit
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4
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634
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i "trashed" the rule book
(Preview)
Throwing Out the Rule Book
Many of us feel like we need a rulebook, a microscope, and a warranty to get through life. We feel uncertain, frightened. We want the security of knowing what's going to happen, and how we shall act.We don't trust life or ourselves.We don't trust the Plan.We want to be in c...
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rosie light shines
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0
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264
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The Best
(Preview)
You guys are the best! I was almost afraid to post, my friends and family have been supportive with me, and you all have been there. I was afraid of the negative, but you all have come through once again giving me examples of living with an active A. My expectations are realistic.&nb...
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marmare
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3
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373
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no, i am NOT my brothers keeper
(Preview)
When people bother you in any way, it is because their souls are trying to get your divine attention and your blessing. --Catherine Ponder
We are in constant communication with one another and with God in the spiritual realm. No matter how singular our particular course may appear, our path is...
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rosie light shines
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0
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373
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Good Week
(Preview)
Last week was a good week. After his last high (Friday a week ago), I tried to stay very calm. I cried, he cried. But I told him how I felt and what I wanted from our relationship. I told him I am not calling it quits, but there will come a time if things continue the way they are that I will have to l...
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hudsond
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4
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326
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serenity prayer....INDUSTRIAL strength
(Preview)
Hope for Today - October 18
The guidance embodied in the Serenity Prayer was a foreign concept when I walked into my first Al-Anon meeting. I soon realized it must be important because every meeting I attended since has used it as part of the opening. Applying it to my recovery seem...
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rosie light shines
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0
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278
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I am OK part 2
(Preview)
I am good Today.
Thank You all for your kind words.
This has been the toughest road I have ever traveled.
But, I am at the top of the mountain. I am going to enjoy the ride down.
I know now why it is so tough to let the A go with love.
That is the only way you can truly help your A.
If you love you...
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tullemars
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0
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292
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I am OK
(Preview)
Two weeks ago my A was forced to leave the home.
I am OK now.
I have had some negative pople trying to manipulate my kids.
They are gone now.
My A wants to come home.
I said not yet.
I am getting stronger and I am not going to tolerate any negative behavior.
Thank You all for being here.
I am ve...
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tullemars
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6
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374
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I am not as serene as you think...
(Preview)
Many people have PM'd me to tell me how serene I sound. Well, I just want you to know that I have my moments too.
Today I called in sick to work. For no reason, just because I didn't want to go to work.
10 minutes after I phoned in, I got a call from the lady that is renting my old property. The big kitche...
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captcodee
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6
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385
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Needed: Advice & Strength
(Preview)
Hello everyone, it's me again. Do you all know that I feel like such a pain when I write with my problems, havent figured that out yet, hopefully soon though. Well, here it is, the begining of another week and I am still miserable without me A.
I would really appreciate some input from any or even...
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hadit
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8
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531
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My poem
(Preview)
look at this tear as it falls from my face...
can you see all the pain, all the discrace...
have you ever wondered what you have done to me....
you have taken so much yet gave back nothing...
i can never forgive you for all that you've done.....
the wounds will never heal, the scars will never fa...
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princess433
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5
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356
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humility
(Preview)
I looked up the word "humble" today, because I've become aware over the past few days it is something I feel I have been lacking a bit in. This is what I found:
1 : not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive
2 : reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission
Somet...
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pixel04
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2
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341
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2nd post sponsorship
(Preview)
Hi all again, okay so i guess i need to look for my sponsor on my own, but i would like afew words of wisdom. I know that finding one is not as easy as some might say or lead you to believe. pls anyone......just talk to me.....lol no really, im just want to move out side of the chatroom abit and share one o...
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sunny1
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6
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381
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i QUIT fighting it
(Preview)
Surrender
"We didn't stumble into this fellowship brimming with love, honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness....When we were beaten, we became willing.""Basic Text, p. 20Surrender may be the necessary foundation for recovery, but sometimes we fight it. Most of us look back after some c...
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rosie light shines
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1
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328
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First Post--Having Trouble Untangling (long)
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, and thank you in advance. I'm a newbie, been in Al Anon about 2 months. I know y'all don't give advice, but you can...tell me about your own experience?...talk about Al Anon principles?
Anyway, here is my current confusion. The primary alcoholic qua...
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WakingUp
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6
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545
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He's home...
(Preview)
So after a total of 10 hours of conversations and compromises my A is back home. He says that he will drink occasionally (the controlled drinker) and I know that is something I can not control. However, I had an internal battle that I had to fight. We talked Friday and then again Satu...
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marmare
|
7
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498
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Why we came to Alanon
(Preview)
We all come to Alanon because our lives have been affected by the disease of alcoholism. Many of us enter these doors feeling defeated by theis desease. We may have spent our energies trying to get an active alcoholic to stop drinking or otherwize control his or her actions; we may have spent much of our...
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captcodee
|
6
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414
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How do I know when enough is enough?
(Preview)
I think my title says it all. I have been working my program for almost 2 years now - and have grown tremendously. Lately I have been learning about 'boundries' . For so long I have been waffling between what is mine, what is his, and what is a wife's duty. All I know is that this awful sick feeling is not norm...
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Angie
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7
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971
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My heart speaks out
(Preview)
Well I guess I have gotten when I want to be. Just thought I would share.
My A and i have been thru years of getting our relationship as good as it can be with
him having this horrible disease.
My part has been Al anon untilit has been a way of life. Also my closeness with hp is most
important.
...
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debilyn
|
5
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501
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Of course I need to VENT
(Preview)
My husband was awake of course this morning when I knocked on the locked bedroom door. He screamed YEAH!!! WHAT THE F??? HOLD ON!!! Not a good start but I didn't reply. I just wanted to get my toothbrush. Anyway, he opened the door and told me that I needed to take him to work bec...
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browneyes
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5
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453
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Sadness
(Preview)
sadness n. Expression of sorrow or unhappiness.
Who doesn't feel sadness? There is a time where everyone feels sad for one reason or another. Some people feel sad more than others.
I have gone through many times of feeling complete sadness ... depression. That is definately a lot ha...
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sandie123
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4
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424
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Sunday and I need some advice
(Preview)
Yesterday was a good day. A good Sunday for once! I had vowed after spending last Sunday crouched in my car watching to see whether or not my A was where he said he was that this week would be better. And I kept my word to myself! Did some shopping, made dinner for friends, watched desperate housewiv...
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Kim
|
5
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387
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FAMILY
(Preview)
I am adopted child. I grew up in a house with no other child. My mom had three sons from her first marriage. I have a real brother and sister. My brother lives in Calf and we don't talk much. But my sister lives close to me but I really don't talk to her. I am going to make an effort to talk to her more. She doesn't...
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nycbt
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0
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298
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for the FIRST time..honesty with me
(Preview)
Being Honest with Ourselves
Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships.When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our feelings, we can tell others.Whe...
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rosie light shines
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1
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312
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Step 3 success -
(Preview)
Dear All,
Beth and I have decided to share our story. I will post my half and Beth will do her part in separate post. Here goes a remarkable story:
I happened to be in chatroom when Beth shared about worrying she might become estranged from her grandkids. This was at about 17:00 o...
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toto12
|
6
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460
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Working Hard
(Preview)
I am working really hard into getting into shap. I have been doing situps every other day. I been walking. I have asked my friend to help me get in too shape. I am not fat I just want to get into better shape. I have learn the will power from Alanon to make myself feel better. To take care of myself.
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nycbt
|
2
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299
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Negative Energy
(Preview)
I'm probably on a bit of a different path then most spiritually, but I think what this has to say (link below) is well worth the bit of time it takes to read and something that all of us can find useful. This article talks about what negative energy does to us and the universe and what we can do to change it.
...
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Christy
|
8
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574
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Thank you all :)
(Preview)
Thank you all for your support in my post below.
After my post last night, about my A family, I received a crazy phone call from my A. Just what I needed, huh?
It’s been one hell of a weekend emotionally, but won’t drink. I used to drink when I was bored, now I know why, I got used to the chaos...
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CAM0914
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1
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339
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Make Lemonade,
(Preview)
Hi All,
Well here in New Jersey we have had eight days of driving rain. Pretty dreary until today. Since it was so dry all summer, everything around my house was dead or burnt looking. All week as I drove my bus in the slops, I kept saying well, I seeded my lawn a few weeks ago, at least it is getting a really...
|
Jeannie
|
8
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396
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Good Morning
(Preview)
I read about acceptance this morning. This is a hard one for me, maybe because I am the baby of the family, maybe because of co-dependent issues, maybe just because I am who I am. When it comes right down to it though, I have to accept things I can not change. My cat that ranaway has not c...
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marmare
|
5
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341
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Blame it on me weekend!
(Preview)
Good morning to all of you!
After reading Jeannie's post, I got to thinking about laying blame on others. You know, "everything's your fault, not mine.."
Well I decided that for this weekend, and this weekend only all of you out there have a 1 time, limited opportunity, special offer (d...
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Karilynn
|
12
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644
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To feel
(Preview)
I love you guys! I talked to my A on the way home from work. I called him, I am missing him so much, and Yes Candianguy, after the conversation you were right, seeing things through rose colored glasses. LOL The conversation had some rough spots in it. He said he was goin...
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marmare
|
4
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352
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Just need to vent..having a bad night
(Preview)
Hi everyone, it's me again. Usually I write posts here about how mad my "a" makes me, how he doesn't keep his word, etc, etc.
Tonight I just want you all to know that I am really miserable not seeing him, not hearing his voice, not having him to hug. I really miss him so much. I have days that a...
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hadit
|
8
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421
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help
(Preview)
help me i am slipping so much right now and i dont know what to do. i have so much intense fear. my a admitted that he doesnt think he can stay sober and he will drink again. he said he wont get help. so what do i do with this? it's his choice and i cant do anything about it. i am so hurt and scared right now. scared b...
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notsonew1111
|
3
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354
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IT WORK OUT
(Preview)
On Saturday I help out my job they had a fundraiser. After that I got together with my friend and we did some walking. I am trying to get in shape. I want to lose some weight. My friend is going to be like my personal trainer. After that I called my husband to see if him and his grown son were done working. He tol...
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nycbt
|
0
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297
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Three calls but I'm strong
(Preview)
Two calls were like reasons to call and ask if I made it to the dump okay etc.....then when my A called tonight and asked...are you ready?...."what is it that you want?" I told him that we had talked on Monday and was not going to go through it all again. That for years I am repeating what my nee...
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marmare
|
6
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398
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Saturday night
(Preview)
We found out a few days ago that my hubby will be going out of state to work (he's in construction). Anyways, looks like he will be leaving on Sunday. Saturday I had plans for quite awhile to go to a concert w/13 other people including a limo (all expenses paid). Once I found out he may be leaving on Sunday, I...
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sg
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7
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440
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