Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Freetime · Freetime

One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, September 21, talks about our resistance to accepting that the Twelve Steps apply to us. Often we don't want to believe we are powerless over alcohol, that we have allowed our lives to become unmanageable, and that we need to be restored to sanity. When we look at our situat...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Yes .. apparently adulting didn't get any easier since the last go around and I am really not impressed with my kiddo. PNP's post about her kiddo and boundaries hits home in so many other ways at the moment. I am frustrated, hormonal, and just over all displeased with some of the antics going on. We k...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Tomorrow is our day - the day we came to exist in human form - and I am humbled, honored and blessed to share this day with my brother/friend Jerry. I am typically a low key gal as I have 3 A(s) as family and they are doing good to remember the day AND to send a text. I've come to accept it's just who they are - it...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's Courage to Change is about Step 8: Making a list of those we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. The author suggests returning to our step 4 inventory to help refresh our memories. Asking ourselves which situations we have been in where our character defects m...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Those who created yesterday's pain do not control tomorrow'spotential.--unknownThe devil brings devastation; God offers restoration.--unknown"I do service in Alcoholics Anonymous because it reminds me of whereI came from . . . it keeps me green. And green things grow!"--unknownMost people...

serenity47 · serenity47

I love this slogan and find it helpful in my recovery. I am able to recognize that I have changed and still have a lot of changing to do. My daughter is in a relapse. Yes I am scared, worried, feel stressed, angry and sad all at the same time. What has changed is what I am doing during this time. Before, I...

a4l · a4l

As the subject line states, I am a bit triggered by this at the moment. I suppose I am just dropping in a line to reassure myself of some reality. I have to ask myself what I am doing here at this moment. It is slightly culturally complicated but in and around that are the things which cross all classes of bei...

sweeetr · sweeetr

VENT ! My 13 yr old son ..... is going back to his bad habits ! His dad, my exH, got out of prison about 4 months ago. And the poo hits the fan on a regular basis again now. I'm all about letting my exH live his life and staying out of his. I am fortunate to have supervised visitation and even tho he says and do...

DavidG · DavidG

The sun is streaming in here- Wednesday. My little peach tree- on the front lawn is in full bloom. Ah kin pinch myself- ah, yes ah is still alive- still above ground right now. Long ago i would have retired to the back of the yard- and left Alanon behind. Today's reading in HFT was a about sexual abuse. I d...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning All I m going camping today for a week so am posting early.. The ODAT Reading for Tuesday 9-18 speaks about our reasons for first entering the rooms of alanon. It suggests that most come to find out how to get someone to stop drinking and then discover that alanon is much more than that. ...

A nother · A nother

I know I shouldn't be surprised. I know this isn't about me. I know this is a disease. But I wanted a different outcome. The easier outcome for me. It's been quite nice not having to deal with his drinking, once I got through the anger at his last binge behaviour. I've found it easier to focus on me. I've bee...

ling · ling

Can't get rid of this irritable feeling. AH away with friends on rehab. He wants to come back home having stopped drinking but no life change.I. e contine working on his own will be lonely and his work will not help his painful back. His choice but with no change he will inevitably drink again. He also wan...

wp · wp

Asking for prayers for my family and me for health, healing, faith, serenity. Been through a tough week and a half with hub's medical issues, been getting kids to fly down to help us. I just need support , whatever you can offer. Thank you , my peeps. wp

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

This issue is not about my RAXH. This is about my 18 year-old son who lives with me. In July I came home early from work to find a vape pen on the couch. Confronted kid. It was weed. His reasoning was that it helped him with social anxiety (actual) and sleep issues (not sure about those). Marijuana is legal i...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about how Alanon has brought consistency and structure to those of us who have lived in the chaos of an alcoholic family. The writer mentions that although there were rules in the house that he/she grew up in, due to the nature of alcoholism and all the chaos it...

Lyne · Lyne

People pleasing: The writer discusses our instinctive need to fit in, which is not harmful unless we lose our sense of balance. This becomes destructive when we ignore our own needs and sacrifice our well-being for others. Alanon suggests a compromise where we can belong, be aware of our feeling...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, Last night I chaired a meeting in a neighbouring town. I am doing my 12th Step and was asked to take my turn at sharing... it worked out well. I have a group culture which came from my home town here. Our group is in recess. Our culture was that we had a difference chair every week. If the chai...

ginnyc · ginnyc

I read a earlier post from someone regarding triggers and I have to say I have had a major trigger this week. My older brother is passing away and it will probably this week. He has been sick for awhile so it was not a surprise. I haven't been able to do anything for a few days, haven't read my alanon literatu...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Its been quite a roller coaster of late, this past , while, anyway...deaths, changes (not wanted ones) , work loss, ME and ME and did I say ME??? Its like I "hit a wall" with this self saboteur..this wounded part of me running amok...compulsive mind racing, translating to my hands and I do stuff with n...

Fedora · Fedora

So last night my AH called me from a county jail, an hour from our house. DWI, had to come get him. Of course I was annoyed. Strangely, at that moment, I wasn't even angry. I've actually been waiting for some police officer to call me to tell me he's been in an accident and is wrapped around a tree (this is (s...

Iamhere · Iamhere

As I do each Sunday, I watch and embrace messages from Joel O! Today's reading spoke to me - it's about negative vs. positive recordings in our minds....I need all the daily reminders I can get that I am worthy and loved!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA7VWVM4FdU

mamalioness · mamalioness

"When your life is filled with the desire to see the holinessin everyday life, something magical happens: ordinary lifebecomes extraordinary, and the very process of life begins tonourish your soul!"--Rabbi Harold Kushner"He who laughs, lasts."--Mary Pettibone PooleIf there is any kindness...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for Sept 11 ( a difficult day for me as I worked at the WTC), speaks of being fully aware of what we do and say in our interactions with the alcoholic The reading also suggests that we tone down our use of sarcasm , lower our voice and remember that we hurt ourselves more with our anger tha...

lookingup · lookingup

The ODAT reading for Sept 15 speaks about "reacting" to every situation that we encounter and urges us to slow down, use the serenity prayer or slogan and detach The reading points out that when we "React" we place to control of our peace of mind in the hands of another and surrender our power to simp...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I was thinking today about times I've made poor life choices and the lessons from those choices. When I purchase something, I want quality. Quality often doesn't mean costly. I can often get what I need without paying a high price. Interestingly, I don't always shop my life choices that way. I can some...

a4l · a4l

I used to be so calm. So very logical and calm. I think being married to really destroyed that. He didn't destroy it, the whole marriage did. It was crazymaking. We have been seperated but still in contact and in different countries for nine months. It has been good to have that physical space between...

hellohellohello · hellohellohello

I was raised by an alcoholic and a debtor, so of course I married a debtor. My husband has been in Debtor's Anonymous but he's been in the program for three years and we are only deeper in debt than we were when he started. He still lies as much as he did before. He takes out credit cards the way he did before. S...

Freetime · Freetime

One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, September 14, points out that Al-Anon is a spiritual, not religious, program. One sentence reads, "If our dedicated practice of Al-Anon helps us make a Heaven on earth, no religious faith would quarrel with this happy outcome." It also cautions against "helping" anothe...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses making the most of this day, this 24 hours ahead of us. We are reminded that each moment of this day is precious and we can make it count. We can enrich our lives and improve our relationship with our HP, others and self. The steps help us pursue this goal, no matter what our ci...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in courage to change is about the Three A's - Awareness - Acceptance - Action The author shares that coping with a new awareness can be awkward, and many of us wish to avoid pain and discomfort, so we may try to jump from awareness to action. But, until we accept the reality we face, we pro...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Keep It Simple When angry, count to ten before you speak: if very angry, a hundred. ---Thomas Jefferson The author talks about anger..Stuff happens..When the anger starts to get "hot" start counting..Breathe, even... The author also talks about how one can get "high" on anger, just like taking a...

coral35 · coral35

Hi, My therapist has suggested me using Al anon for awhile. I have surfed the web and read some post but never posted myself. Yesterday with seeing him he asked me to post. So here goes. I had alcoholic grandparents, my mother and father were alcoholics plus my mom overdosed many times for pills. My fath...

Lucas Buck · Lucas Buck

I need someone to talk to who is in a similar situation. If anyone is interested please let me know. Bouncing around in my own head panicking is not helping. Tried alanon local and its just not for me. Thanks.

bud · bud

The aggravations of the week reminded me of one of the ways I've been estranged from my family. During tumultuous years with my exAH, I had all I could do to survive. I placed more than 100% of my energy on surviving the day. This meant many things didn't get done, such as return correspondences, etc if it...

Butterfly Trails · Butterfly Trails

Itâs extremely hot and humid in the area I live to the point that there are heat warnings issued by the weather networks. Itâs been this way for over a week straight and Iâve finally got 2 days off work, yesterday and today, in which I had planned to do some major housework. Well yesterday came after worki...

A nother · A nother

Hi, my ah has suddenly stopped drinking. It's been a week. At first I felt utter relief that I don't have to deal with it for a while (he has clarified that this is just a break for a bit, not permanent. He needs to give his body a break). Now I have my husband back I'm in a strange place. I go from happy to angr...

ginnyc · ginnyc

Has anyone had any success with helping friends or other family members join or become acquainted with alanon? Just wondering....

Lyne · Lyne

Denial: The reading for 9/10 speaks about how denial can cloud and/or distort our thinking. We may not see the lies we tell ourselves and others. Our anger and scorn for the alcoholic can come out in many ways. Yet it is all a cry for help. We can forgive ourselves knowing that we did the best we could...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about our slogan Keep It Simple. The writer stated that he/she once thought the meaning of this slogan was doing whatever necessary to keep others happy. Over time the writer began to realize that simplifying is about not feeling the need to juggle many thin...

Jozie · Jozie

Have ya Ever just got in a Funk and Can't Figure out Why or What? And One little thing can just send you into a Whirl wind of Old Resentments, stuff I thought I let go of Long ago, but for that One day, they all come Flooding back like a Tidal Wave from Hell... Yeah, That's Kinda where I was Yesterday... I Rea...

hotrod · hotrod

Posting for LUThe tools continue to serve me and help improve my interactions with others and my faith in the moment and myself. In the evening, This morning's quote in the ODAT, as sort of prayer, reminds what we can bring. "Help me use the gifts You have given me. I want to use them to help others thro...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had to share a story from my oldest who is struggling to make the jump from young adult to an actual grown adult. He's moved home and things are moving forward .. in a very stutter step way. One thing this child has really driven home in terms of lessons is letting the situation play out and letting go of...

serenity47 · serenity47

It has been a very stressful, frightening time of late. Watching my daughter spiral back into active use again is heartwrenching. She has been in and out of an abusive relationship the past year and now has relapsed. I was expecting it sadly but its a kick in the gut when it actually occurs. I am tryi...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays courage to change is a good one for me. Ive never been very good at accepting my feelings and often beat myself up for them confusing them with shortcomings. I like the idea of acknowledging them, accepting them and then letting them pass. I think I get terrified of giving them power over me as I di...

Freetime · Freetime

Courage to Change, September 7, talks about what Tradition Seven really means when it says every Al-Anon group ought to be fully self-supporting. The writer's home group had enough finances, but no one would commit to service. The writer held several service positions in the group, but when the te...

Mcgreuder · Mcgreuder

I am a relative newbie here, but have posted a couple of times before. Has anyone ever told their spouse or other family member that they have a problem with alcohol? Or is it best to not say anything? I know we cannot change them or fix them.

bud · bud

Hi Everbody, I wish I worked a stronger program with a difficult person. A woman from the barn I befriended insisted on taking care of my rescue cat on weekends when I was away because my professional sitter wasn't available on weekends. When I was several hundred miles away, I received several texts f...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, I want to say that this seems to be the hardest thing for me to do right now. As many of you know I quit my job because a very unhealthy work environment. I gave an honest exit interview and didn't bash my former supervisor. I got unemployment and am looking for work again. It's been just a month...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish one'sgrowth without destroying one's roots.--Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECESWhen upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,Count your many blessings, name them one by one,And it will...

canadianguy · canadianguy

One of the best "tools" I used in my recovery, when I was going through those emotional cycles of wondering if I was the crazy one, or was I expecting too much in my relationship, or perhaps I was too harsh, etc - was a reference to "toxic love vs. real love" I used the list below (compiled with the help of t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the seventh step. The author shares that their list of shortcomings originally read like a list of feelings. Over time, the author realized that feelings aren't shortcomings, they are just feelings. The shortcoming was the author's inability to recog...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading in Courage to Change is about "How Important is It?" The writer realized that the main focus of mental activities is usually whatever problem, grievance, or irritation that's present at the moment. Most of 'this' will not matter if we ponder the past in the futur...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

I would really appreciate your ESH on something which has happened as I am trying to process my response but feeling I am going round in circles. So in the short term we (four children and me) are still living at home with AH who has relapsed and is not in active recovery. I have boundaries in place for me a...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to anunderstanding of ourselves.--Carl JungDuring his lifetime, an individual should devote his efforts to creatinghappiness and enjoy it.--Ch'enTu-hsiu"It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did itwrong."--Henry W...

mamalioness · mamalioness

As Bill Sees ItWe Need Outside Help, p.248Bill talks about self appraisal and doing it alone, and how it really isn't enough, And that it is really necessary to tell your HP and at least one other person, to really get free....Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by beingwillin...

A nother · A nother

In my dream I was in a car with a friend and ah. They had agreed amongst themselves that ah would drive, even though he wasn't insured, and the car was an ambulance! We had only just set off and I was wrestling with the'this is wrong' feeling, when my ah crashed into another vehicle. All of a sudden there wer...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for September 4 speaks about our many misfortunes and that often we feel that we cannot cope with every issue without hitting our breaking point.. At this point we believe that we have been rejected by God, even though we never did reject our faith The gift of Al-Anon is that we are en...

texas yankee · texas yankee

When I listen but don't really incorporate into my life the principles that I hear about over and over in meetings, and read about in program literature, my HP is sure to remind me with a practical (usually very painful) example when I get ahead of myself and forget to practice what I've heard. Just tod...

mamalioness · mamalioness

EMOTIONAL BALANCEMade direct amends to such people wherever possible,. . . . .TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 83This appears to have come for an AA reading of the steps and Traditions where the drinker has harmed folks with his/her sarcasm and nastiness, wrong doing: and they NOW cannot find...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Today is the blocks with which we build.--Henry Wadsworth LongfellowAll of the animals except man know that the principal business of life isto enjoy it.--Samuel ButlerToday I am letting go of all judgments. I am releasing all negativeemotions. I am quietly going within and trusting my inner spir...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ODAT 9/21/18 (Preview) One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, September 21, talks about our resistance to accepting that the Twelve Steps apply to us. Often we don't want to believe we are powerless over alcohol, that we have allowed our lives to become unmanageable, and that we need to be restored to sanity. When we look at our situat...	Freetime	3	326	Sep 21, 2018 by mamalioness
	Adulting is hard part II (Preview) Yes .. apparently adulting didn't get any easier since the last go around and I am really not impressed with my kiddo. PNP's post about her kiddo and boundaries hits home in so many other ways at the moment. I am frustrated, hormonal, and just over all displeased with some of the antics going on. We k...	SerenityRUS	5	417	Sep 21, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Happy Birthday to Jerry and ME! (Preview) Tomorrow is our day - the day we came to exist in human form - and I am humbled, honored and blessed to share this day with my brother/friend Jerry. I am typically a low key gal as I have 3 A(s) as family and they are doing good to remember the day AND to send a text. I've come to accept it's just who they are - it...	Iamhere	17	441	Sep 20, 2018 by JerryF
	Courage to Change September 19 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's Courage to Change is about Step 8: Making a list of those we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. The author suggests returning to our step 4 inventory to help refresh our memories. Asking ourselves which situations we have been in where our character defects m...	Skorpi	5	417	Sep 20, 2018 by mamalioness
	Tid bits of wisdom_20 Sep (Preview) Those who created yesterday's pain do not control tomorrow'spotential.--unknownThe devil brings devastation; God offers restoration.--unknown"I do service in Alcoholics Anonymous because it reminds me of whereI came from . . . it keeps me green. And green things grow!"--unknownMost people...	mamalioness	3	335	Sep 20, 2018 by mamalioness
	NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES (Preview) I love this slogan and find it helpful in my recovery. I am able to recognize that I have changed and still have a lot of changing to do. My daughter is in a relapse. Yes I am scared, worried, feel stressed, angry and sad all at the same time. What has changed is what I am doing during this time. Before, I...	serenity47	13	938	Sep 19, 2018 by Bo
	FOO denial. (Preview) As the subject line states, I am a bit triggered by this at the moment. I suppose I am just dropping in a line to reassure myself of some reality. I have to ask myself what I am doing here at this moment. It is slightly culturally complicated but in and around that are the things which cross all classes of bei...	a4l	5	531	Sep 19, 2018 by Iamhere
	consequences with kids (Preview) VENT ! My 13 yr old son ..... is going back to his bad habits ! His dad, my exH, got out of prison about 4 months ago. And the poo hits the fan on a regular basis again now. I'm all about letting my exH live his life and staying out of his. I am fortunate to have supervised visitation and even tho he says and do...	sweeetr	9	540	Sep 19, 2018 by el-cee
	One day at a time... (Preview) The sun is streaming in here- Wednesday. My little peach tree- on the front lawn is in full bloom. Ah kin pinch myself- ah, yes ah is still alive- still above ground right now. Long ago i would have retired to the back of the yard- and left Alanon behind. Today's reading in HFT was a about sexual abuse. I d...	DavidG	3	408	Sep 19, 2018 by lookingup
	ODAT Reading 9-18 (Preview) Good Morning All I m going camping today for a week so am posting early.. The ODAT Reading for Tuesday 9-18 speaks about our reasons for first entering the rooms of alanon. It suggests that most come to find out how to get someone to stop drinking and then discover that alanon is much more than that. ...	hotrod	7	376	Sep 18, 2018 by bud
	Serenity gone. AH lasted 2 weeks without a drink. (Preview) I know I shouldn't be surprised. I know this isn't about me. I know this is a disease. But I wanted a different outcome. The easier outcome for me. It's been quite nice not having to deal with his drinking, once I got through the anger at his last binge behaviour. I've found it easier to focus on me. I've bee...	A nother	7	442	Sep 18, 2018 by tiredtonite
	feeling irritable... (Preview) Can't get rid of this irritable feeling. AH away with friends on rehab. He wants to come back home having stopped drinking but no life change.I. e contine working on his own will be lonely and his work will not help his painful back. His choice but with no change he will inevitably drink again. He also wan...	ling	7	403	Sep 18, 2018 by Iamhere
	Healing (Preview) Asking for prayers for my family and me for health, healing, faith, serenity. Been through a tough week and a half with hub's medical issues, been getting kids to fly down to help us. I just need support , whatever you can offer. Thank you , my peeps. wp	wp	9	441	Sep 18, 2018 by Jill
	CLINGING TO MY RECOVERY (Preview) This issue is not about my RAXH. This is about my 18 year-old son who lives with me. In July I came home early from work to find a vape pen on the couch. Confronted kid. It was weed. His reasoning was that it helped him with social anxiety (actual) and sleep issues (not sure about those). Marijuana is legal i...	PosiesandPuppies	17	585	Sep 18, 2018 by Bo
	Hope for Today Sept 16 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about how Alanon has brought consistency and structure to those of us who have lived in the chaos of an alcoholic family. The writer mentions that although there were rules in the house that he/she grew up in, due to the nature of alcoholism and all the chaos it...	yanksfan51	6	624	Sep 17, 2018 by mamalioness
	C2C, 9/17 (Preview) People pleasing: The writer discusses our instinctive need to fit in, which is not harmful unless we lose our sense of balance. This becomes destructive when we ignore our own needs and sacrifice our well-being for others. Alanon suggests a compromise where we can belong, be aware of our feeling...	Lyne	5	392	Sep 17, 2018 by mamalioness
	Some good stuff- and some aha moments... (Preview) Hi y'all, Last night I chaired a meeting in a neighbouring town. I am doing my 12th Step and was asked to take my turn at sharing... it worked out well. I have a group culture which came from my home town here. Our group is in recess. Our culture was that we had a difference chair every week. If the chai...	DavidG	7	490	Sep 17, 2018 by tiredtonite
	good memories (Preview) I read a earlier post from someone regarding triggers and I have to say I have had a major trigger this week. My older brother is passing away and it will probably this week. He has been sick for awhile so it was not a surprise. I haven't been able to do anything for a few days, haven't read my alanon literatu...	ginnyc	3	391	Sep 17, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Friday, I came THIS close to just giving up (Preview) Its been quite a roller coaster of late, this past , while, anyway...deaths, changes (not wanted ones) , work loss, ME and ME and did I say ME??? Its like I "hit a wall" with this self saboteur..this wounded part of me running amok...compulsive mind racing, translating to my hands and I do stuff with n...	mamalioness	12	483	Sep 17, 2018 by tiredtonite
	frustration at DWI ... just have to leave it be (Preview) So last night my AH called me from a county jail, an hour from our house. DWI, had to come get him. Of course I was annoyed. Strangely, at that moment, I wasn't even angry. I've actually been waiting for some police officer to call me to tell me he's been in an accident and is wrapped around a tree (this is (s...	Fedora	5	433	Sep 16, 2018 by Bo
	Off-Topic - Joel Osteen - The Right Recording (Preview) As I do each Sunday, I watch and embrace messages from Joel O! Today's reading spoke to me - it's about negative vs. positive recordings in our minds....I need all the daily reminders I can get that I am worthy and loved!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA7VWVM4FdU	Iamhere	4	420	Sep 16, 2018 by LinSC
	Tidbits of wisdom_15 Sept (Preview) "When your life is filled with the desire to see the holinessin everyday life, something magical happens: ordinary lifebecomes extraordinary, and the very process of life begins tonourish your soul!"--Rabbi Harold Kushner"He who laughs, lasts."--Mary Pettibone PooleIf there is any kindness...	mamalioness	2	383	Sep 16, 2018 by hotrod
	ODAT Reading 9-11 (Preview) The ODAT reading for Sept 11 ( a difficult day for me as I worked at the WTC), speaks of being fully aware of what we do and say in our interactions with the alcoholic The reading also suggests that we tone down our use of sarcasm , lower our voice and remember that we hurt ourselves more with our anger tha...	hotrod	6	446	Sep 15, 2018 by mamalioness
	ODAT,,,9/15 (Preview) The ODAT reading for Sept 15 speaks about "reacting" to every situation that we encounter and urges us to slow down, use the serenity prayer or slogan and detach The reading points out that when we "React" we place to control of our peace of mind in the hands of another and surrender our power to simp...	lookingup	9	429	Sep 15, 2018 by mamalioness
	Making Better Choices (Preview) I was thinking today about times I've made poor life choices and the lessons from those choices. When I purchase something, I want quality. Quality often doesn't mean costly. I can often get what I need without paying a high price. Interestingly, I don't always shop my life choices that way. I can some...	tiredtonite	8	523	Sep 15, 2018 by Bo
	need to get a grip on my emotions. (Preview) I used to be so calm. So very logical and calm. I think being married to really destroyed that. He didn't destroy it, the whole marriage did. It was crazymaking. We have been seperated but still in contact and in different countries for nine months. It has been good to have that physical space between...	a4l	10	502	Sep 14, 2018 by a4l
	Debt Debt Debt Debt Marriage Children (Preview) I was raised by an alcoholic and a debtor, so of course I married a debtor. My husband has been in Debtor's Anonymous but he's been in the program for three years and we are only deeper in debt than we were when he started. He still lies as much as he did before. He takes out credit cards the way he did before. S...	hellohellohello	11	5651	Sep 14, 2018 by hellohellohello
	ODAT 9/14/18 (Preview) One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, September 14, points out that Al-Anon is a spiritual, not religious, program. One sentence reads, "If our dedicated practice of Al-Anon helps us make a Heaven on earth, no religious faith would quarrel with this happy outcome." It also cautions against "helping" anothe...	Freetime	5	562	Sep 14, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 9/13/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses making the most of this day, this 24 hours ahead of us. We are reminded that each moment of this day is precious and we can make it count. We can enrich our lives and improve our relationship with our HP, others and self. The steps help us pursue this goal, no matter what our ci...	Iamhere	9	510	Sep 14, 2018 by Aline
	Courage to Change September 12 (Preview) Today's reading in courage to change is about the Three A's - Awareness - Acceptance - Action The author shares that coping with a new awareness can be awkward, and many of us wish to avoid pain and discomfort, so we may try to jump from awareness to action. But, until we accept the reality we face, we pro...	Skorpi	9	414	Sep 13, 2018 by mamalioness
	Keep it simple_12 Sept (Preview) Keep It Simple When angry, count to ten before you speak: if very angry, a hundred. ---Thomas Jefferson The author talks about anger..Stuff happens..When the anger starts to get "hot" start counting..Breathe, even... The author also talks about how one can get "high" on anger, just like taking a...	mamalioness	7	505	Sep 13, 2018 by Bo
	First Post-Losing It (Preview) Hi, My therapist has suggested me using Al anon for awhile. I have surfed the web and read some post but never posted myself. Yesterday with seeing him he asked me to post. So here goes. I had alcoholic grandparents, my mother and father were alcoholics plus my mom overdosed many times for pills. My fath...	coral35	9	478	Sep 13, 2018 by Bo
	Those with an Alcoholic Wife (Preview) I need someone to talk to who is in a similar situation. If anyone is interested please let me know. Bouncing around in my own head panicking is not helping. Tried alanon local and its just not for me. Thanks.	Lucas Buck	11	595	Sep 12, 2018 by bud
	Anger if I isolate (Preview) The aggravations of the week reminded me of one of the ways I've been estranged from my family. During tumultuous years with my exAH, I had all I could do to survive. I placed more than 100% of my energy on surviving the day. This meant many things didn't get done, such as return correspondences, etc if it...	bud	10	516	Sep 11, 2018 by bud
	Taking care of my needs first (Preview) Itâs extremely hot and humid in the area I live to the point that there are heat warnings issued by the weather networks. Itâs been this way for over a week straight and Iâve finally got 2 days off work, yesterday and today, in which I had planned to do some major housework. Well yesterday came after worki...	Butterfly Trails	7	541	Sep 11, 2018 by lookingup
	Changing the goalposts (Preview) Hi, my ah has suddenly stopped drinking. It's been a week. At first I felt utter relief that I don't have to deal with it for a while (he has clarified that this is just a break for a bit, not permanent. He needs to give his body a break). Now I have my husband back I'm in a strange place. I go from happy to angr...	A nother	8	440	Sep 10, 2018 by Bo
	siblings and others on this merry go round (Preview) Has anyone had any success with helping friends or other family members join or become acquainted with alanon? Just wondering....	ginnyc	8	504	Sep 10, 2018 by ginnyc
	C2C, 9/10 (Preview) Denial: The reading for 9/10 speaks about how denial can cloud and/or distort our thinking. We may not see the lies we tell ourselves and others. Our anger and scorn for the alcoholic can come out in many ways. Yet it is all a cry for help. We can forgive ourselves knowing that we did the best we could...	Lyne	5	433	Sep 10, 2018 by Skorpi
	Hope for Today Sept 9 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about our slogan Keep It Simple. The writer stated that he/she once thought the meaning of this slogan was doing whatever necessary to keep others happy. Over time the writer began to realize that simplifying is about not feeling the need to juggle many thin...	yanksfan51	7	455	Sep 9, 2018 by bud
	I Feel like I'm Raining inside! (Preview) Have ya Ever just got in a Funk and Can't Figure out Why or What? And One little thing can just send you into a Whirl wind of Old Resentments, stuff I thought I let go of Long ago, but for that One day, they all come Flooding back like a Tidal Wave from Hell... Yeah, That's Kinda where I was Yesterday... I Rea...	Jozie	10	468	Sep 9, 2018 by Bo
	ODAT Reading 9-8 (Preview) Posting for LUThe tools continue to serve me and help improve my interactions with others and my faith in the moment and myself. In the evening, This morning's quote in the ODAT, as sort of prayer, reminds what we can bring. "Help me use the gifts You have given me. I want to use them to help others thro...	hotrod	3	579	Sep 8, 2018 by mamalioness
	Adulting is hard .. (Preview) I had to share a story from my oldest who is struggling to make the jump from young adult to an actual grown adult. He's moved home and things are moving forward .. in a very stutter step way. One thing this child has really driven home in terms of lessons is letting the situation play out and letting go of...	SerenityRUS	11	459	Sep 8, 2018 by Bo
	Wishing i could just make it all better. (Preview) It has been a very stressful, frightening time of late. Watching my daughter spiral back into active use again is heartwrenching. She has been in and out of an abusive relationship the past year and now has relapsed. I was expecting it sadly but its a kick in the gut when it actually occurs. I am tryi...	serenity47	5	468	Sep 8, 2018 by bud
	How do you let feelings go? (Preview) Todays courage to change is a good one for me. Ive never been very good at accepting my feelings and often beat myself up for them confusing them with shortcomings. I like the idea of acknowledging them, accepting them and then letting them pass. I think I get terrified of giving them power over me as I di...	el-cee	17	684	Sep 8, 2018 by _bunny_
	Courage to Change 9/7/18 (Preview) Courage to Change, September 7, talks about what Tradition Seven really means when it says every Al-Anon group ought to be fully self-supporting. The writer's home group had enough finances, but no one would commit to service. The writer held several service positions in the group, but when the te...	Freetime	4	577	Sep 7, 2018 by mamalioness
	Have you told your qualifier you think they have a problem with alcohol? (Preview) I am a relative newbie here, but have posted a couple of times before. Has anyone ever told their spouse or other family member that they have a problem with alcohol? Or is it best to not say anything? I know we cannot change them or fix them.	Mcgreuder	5	412	Sep 7, 2018 by canadianguy
	Triggered & feeling guilty (Preview) Hi Everbody, I wish I worked a stronger program with a difficult person. A woman from the barn I befriended insisted on taking care of my rescue cat on weekends when I was away because my professional sitter wasn't available on weekends. When I was several hundred miles away, I received several texts f...	bud	29	623	Sep 7, 2018 by 2HP
	Trying to Force an Outcome (Preview) Hi Everyone, I want to say that this seems to be the hardest thing for me to do right now. As many of you know I quit my job because a very unhealthy work environment. I gave an honest exit interview and didn't bash my former supervisor. I got unemployment and am looking for work again. It's been just a month...	tiredtonite	7	492	Sep 7, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Tid bits of Wisdom_07 Sept (Preview) Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish one'sgrowth without destroying one's roots.--Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECESWhen upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,Count your many blessings, name them one by one,And it will...	mamalioness	1	307	Sep 6, 2018 by mamalioness
	Toxic Love (Preview) One of the best "tools" I used in my recovery, when I was going through those emotional cycles of wondering if I was the crazy one, or was I expecting too much in my relationship, or perhaps I was too harsh, etc - was a reference to "toxic love vs. real love" I used the list below (compiled with the help of t...	canadianguy	7	453	Sep 6, 2018 by Jen61
	Courage to Change, September 5 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the seventh step. The author shares that their list of shortcomings originally read like a list of feelings. Over time, the author realized that feelings aren't shortcomings, they are just feelings. The shortcoming was the author's inability to recog...	Skorpi	5	424	Sep 6, 2018 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change 9/6/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading in Courage to Change is about "How Important is It?" The writer realized that the main focus of mental activities is usually whatever problem, grievance, or irritation that's present at the moment. Most of 'this' will not matter if we ponder the past in the futur...	Iamhere	8	358	Sep 6, 2018 by mamalioness
	Unacceptable behaviour question - ESH please (Preview) I would really appreciate your ESH on something which has happened as I am trying to process my response but feeling I am going round in circles. So in the short term we (four children and me) are still living at home with AH who has relapsed and is not in active recovery. I have boundaries in place for me a...	Bettertomorrow	17	695	Sep 6, 2018 by canadianguy
	Tidbits of wisdom_06 Sept (Preview) Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to anunderstanding of ourselves.--Carl JungDuring his lifetime, an individual should devote his efforts to creatinghappiness and enjoy it.--Ch'enTu-hsiu"It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did itwrong."--Henry W...	mamalioness	3	334	Sep 6, 2018 by hotrod
	Wish I could have met Bill (Preview) As Bill Sees ItWe Need Outside Help, p.248Bill talks about self appraisal and doing it alone, and how it really isn't enough, And that it is really necessary to tell your HP and at least one other person, to really get free....Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by beingwillin...	mamalioness	1	358	Sep 6, 2018 by DavidG
	I had an Al anon dream! (Preview) In my dream I was in a car with a friend and ah. They had agreed amongst themselves that ah would drive, even though he wasn't insured, and the car was an ambulance! We had only just set off and I was wrestling with the'this is wrong' feeling, when my ah crashed into another vehicle. All of a sudden there wer...	A nother	3	354	Sep 5, 2018 by JerryF
	ODAT Reading 9-4-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for September 4 speaks about our many misfortunes and that often we feel that we cannot cope with every issue without hitting our breaking point.. At this point we believe that we have been rejected by God, even though we never did reject our faith The gift of Al-Anon is that we are en...	hotrod	11	450	Sep 5, 2018 by Iamhere
	That Higher Power guy is a pretty smart person (Preview) When I listen but don't really incorporate into my life the principles that I hear about over and over in meetings, and read about in program literature, my HP is sure to remind me with a practical (usually very painful) example when I get ahead of myself and forget to practice what I've heard. Just tod...	texas yankee	13	461	Sep 5, 2018 by nursedebbi
	Emotional Balance_12 steps & 12 traditions, p. 83 (Preview) EMOTIONAL BALANCEMade direct amends to such people wherever possible,. . . . .TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 83This appears to have come for an AA reading of the steps and Traditions where the drinker has harmed folks with his/her sarcasm and nastiness, wrong doing: and they NOW cannot find...	mamalioness	2	296	Sep 4, 2018 by hotrod
	Tid bits of wisdom_04 Sep (Preview) Today is the blocks with which we build.--Henry Wadsworth LongfellowAll of the animals except man know that the principal business of life isto enjoy it.--Samuel ButlerToday I am letting go of all judgments. I am releasing all negativeemotions. I am quietly going within and trusting my inner spir...	mamalioness	6	356	Sep 4, 2018 by DavidG
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.