Posting for tomorrow - I've got golf plans...

The reading in courage talks about how we suggest concentrating on our similarities instead of our differences.  When we remember why we are all here, we need never feel alone.  We do have differences and there is no reason they should not be acknowledged.  Most of us came to Al-Anon feeling that our problems set us apart from others.

As time passed in recovery, we realize that it was personal fear and shame and not the embarrassing details that kept us distant.  We learn that when we reach beyond the details of our journey, we can relate to others affected by alcoholism and find help.

We are all as unique as our fingerprints, but as our fingers join in the closing prayer, each of us is part of a circle of hope that is greater than any of our individual differences.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I arrived at Al-Anon wanting to fix my people.  I was angry when it was suggested Al-Anon is about working on self.  I truly didn't think I had any issues and would be just 'fine' if only they would stop drinking.  I returned to my life, tried to control and manage the disease a while longer, and returned defeated and openly willing to try anything.

Having exposure to 12 Step recovery, I knew it only works if you can leave your ego outside, set aside your pride and have an open mind.  I did my best to show up, shut up, listen and learn.  I have worked to keep myself in the middle of recovery and do believe we are all equals.  I actually learn more from those who are new to recovery, and we prefer in our group to not mention length in program as their is no added value for quantity time vs. quality time.

I can see me in almost every share.  I can hear similar fears, pain, anxiety, etc. from members who share and am always open to trying different ways to apply our tools in my life.  Working the steps gave me the freedom to see my reactions to others, this disease, disappointment, etc. before recovery were unhealthy.  It wasn't what was happening around me but instead how I interpreted, digested, regurgitated it that mattered - Al-Anon gave me a new set of glasses.

Today, I can respond instead and most of the time, in a healthy manner.  We have a large group of fellowship that go out to tacos each Monday.  One of the group doesn't like the food.  When I put a vote out to the larger crowd to see if we wanted to make a change, the member (who was not named), got very defensive when others did not want to change.  I only coordinate the outing, I am not responsible for who attends, what food they like, etc.  I was able to just let it all go knowing this was not about me, the restaurant, the food or anything but the member who was struggling.

I had a similar experience in golf recently.  One gal doesn't want to ride with another.  I manage all the tee times but do not manage the group, the pairings, the personalities, etc.  We draw numbers for pairings and I certainly have no control over how that falls out and will only make exceptions if the group wants to.  I did suggest she try to talk it out with the other person if it meant that much to her.  

Al-Anon works for all areas of my life.  I can easily see today when it's 'not my circus and not my monkeys' yet stand ready to be of service if asked.  At the same time, I can walk into any situation, and respect all as equals - it's a lovely way to live.

Enjoy your day tomorrow - make it great!