The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In Courage to Change, September 28, the writer proposed an idea to a home group business meeting. The group conscience did not vote in favor of the idea, but did vote to support another person's proposal. The writer let go of the feelings of wounded pride by remembering to Place Principles above Personalities and that the Al-Anon group was a safe space to learn how to let go of needing to have things "my way."
Reminder: It is important to express my ideas. It is also important to accept the outcome.
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I too am facing a challenging situation in my home group, and have to remember not to take it personally. I have to make my best effort and accept that at some point it may be the best choice to let it go -- which will mean letting the meeting close.
Good Morning Freetime Great example of placing principles above personalities and letting go. Before picking up program tools, I placed personalities above my principles and invariably found myself angry and conflicted. Love the alanon tools that provide me with the means of maintaining my serenity and continue to process my feelings Thanks for your service
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thanks to you and Betty also for your shares and ESH. I am sorry to hear that your home group might close down. We had a challenging time a while back - some changes wanted by some members combined with our landlord not renewing our lease - - - and it was really touchy for a while.
The good news is we did find a way to move forward by putting principles above personalities. We also were able to find a new location that welcomed us with open arms. There is a part of me that needs these events in life to better affirm that my HP really has the master plan and my fear of the unknown can inhibit my growth if I stop trusting in that.
I am grateful for all that Al-Anon has brought to my recovery. It truly is a blueprint for living, and provides me all the tools I need to work through all life events. I sometimes am not sure which tool to use, and then reach out to others for support. Any/every time I lean into my program, I do find exactly what I need when I need it.
Sending you virtual hugs - I was really sad when I thought our group was possibly folding. May your day be filled with just joy - you are not alone! I have a full day of my littlest grandchild and then off to softball tonight. We have mostly nice cool fall weather this morning - reminding me that I really do enjoy 3 of our 4 seasons....happy Friday to one and all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I find that when I place principles above personalities, I keep the QTIP alive and well, AND , I know I am keeping my save of the pavement clean....Al-anon, et al gives me the structure, consistency, guidelines that I never had in my FOO......I've had to use the P above P a lot since coming into recovery.......I have met folks here on these sites and in chat meets, and all over the recovery milieu that I just do not like...but applying principles over personalities, I can get past all that (non growth ) personality garbage by applying the principles.....
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Love the letting go process, steps, etc. For me however, I can't help but realize that it is always something substantial. Sure, substantial is in the eye of the beholder. Not that I sit in judgment, but for me it would never be about an idea of mine not being embraced. I wouldn't even think twice about it. Lighten up. How important is it. Keep it simple. And so on.
If I am going to get worked up...it should be about something worth it. LOL.
How do you let it go? People often talk about how they can't, it's hard, it hurts, etc. That is why they can't...because that's what they are talking about. Not letting go.
One of the ingredients in the recipe of being healthy.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
