Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I am a nervous wreck. My AH who was arrested on 1/5/15 and has been doing rehab (and thankfully is still sober) returns to the job he hates this morning. Normally I would have stayed home and made sure he was up and moving... NOT my circus not my monkeys... The best i did was wake him to make sure he got his...

el-cee · el-cee

Gives me chills. Sticks in my mind. Its all about a man who loses his wife but goes on to speak at ameeting. He tells the story of a woman who gets a knock at the door during ww2. The man who has knocked her door arrives to tell her her husband has died, she guesses this and invites the man in for tea. He is amazed...

Hillyard · Hillyard

My wife had a few drinks. She was fine until she went out with our 18 year old daughter to get a pie at the store. My daughter drove. An argument for no reason occurred and my wife became nasty and obscene. They came home. My wife corners my daughter doing the whole arguing nonsense. I enter the room she tell...

serenity47 · serenity47

Nothing has really changed with AD. The usual A behaviours that you are all familiar with. Incredibly heartbreaking and stressful but slowly I am getting more realistic and not reacting as much nor pleading, lecturing etc. It is however the absolutely most difficult thing I have endured. I h...

el-cee · el-cee

The odat today asks us to consider everything being a gift from God of our understanding , everything. We might not like things not turning out our way, we are disappointed and rebel against unhappiness, fighting against the truth of our situation. We might think God of our understanding is punishin...

Hillyard · Hillyard

So, my family went over to meet the neighbors last night. Very nice people but lots of beer. My AW only had 1 or 2 glasses of wine so that was pleasant. It's strange how dominant alcohol is in everything we do in this culture. They had a young adult son in his mid 20s and that's all he was doing, pounding down b...

el-cee · el-cee

When I think back to what led me to get together and stay for years with an active alcoholic I am coming to see that I'm kind of back in that stage of my life again. I'm living life pretty full on, or my own interpretation of that, taking some chances lately, working hard on myself and the rewards are coming....

Constant inner battle · Constant inner battle

Hi, I am in program about 18 months. I have seen improvement with the way I deal with my reactions to others and less angry response. However, I am not seeing progress and I have asked God for help, guidance. directions in one area of my life I am really struggling with and feeling awful because I am see...

Lnicole · Lnicole

My girlfriend is a recovering alcoholic and doing very well in her sobriety. She is 2 years, almost 3 sober. We met at work. I pursued her. We've been dating for almost 3months. I'm her first sober relationship. I have absolutely no idea how to deal with her. Ive set boundaries and made it known what I wil...

bbqbrisket · bbqbrisket

My adult son has been seeing a therapist and I believe he has been successfully keeping his alcohol abuse from the therapists knowledge. (He's is very creative.) Is it ethical to make his therapist aware of it? Would it be detrimental if my son finds out that I ratted on him? -- Edited by bbqbrisket on Su...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I find it very interesting that my XAH is still trying to manage my time even though it's been what .. 3 years? My poor kiddos, .. they get so tired of answering his bizzaro questions about what I'm doing. There is a total reason I have a no contact clause in the divorce decree. Last visitation which kee...

Hillyard · Hillyard

Sometimes I wonder if I am overreacting about all of this. My AWs disease has not progressed as far as some of the stories I've read on here. But now, since I've been on these boards, I have begun to notice just how often my AW drinks, how she acts when she drinks (slurring her speech, swearing, etc) and I fe...

AWSmith · AWSmith

Thanks for the help in the past. Could use it. But apparently I cuss too much and my anti-police stance have raised teh ire of some pro-cop / anti-cussing admins. Good luck ya'll, could have really used your help tonight, but oh well. Keep helping folks.

Complexnatural · Complexnatural

I left my xah 22 years ago when I realized that the insanity was making me and my young children crazy. I grew up in a home with an a father so I recognized the crazy making. I have raised 3 nice sons, university educated and they seem pretty well balanced given the father they have had - still a serious a. ...

Debb · Debb

Wanted to share with everyone something that happened a few evenings ago. I purchased a mattress 2 1/2 years ago, the mattress is not holding up at all and has a 5 year unconditional warrantee. I needed...

JennaClair · JennaClair

I am completely new to Al Anon. I just went to my first meeting Tuesday. I have been going crazy needing to share my story with someone - anyone - as I feel like I am about to hit bottom. My H is an alcoholic. We have been together 15 years, and he started drinking 7 years ago. Before that, he was emotional...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 2 speaks about the power and importance of prayer.. It points out that prayer is simply a reaching out to make contact with a power greater than ourselves. It acknowledges our personal helplessness which has been demonstrated in their efforts to find peace and security. The r...

Hillyard · Hillyard

My AW and I both feel that we want to start socializing with others more, have people over, etc. I am very afraid about this. I don't want the socializing to center around alcohol. We went out with a few couples from her work and she got drunk each time. We are attempting to get more involved with a church we...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My AD, who denies she is either an alcoholic or addict....called me yesterday. I couldn't understand very much of what she said as she was partly whispering, but she also said she hadn't slept all the night before. She said she was depressed (because I had to put my/her 15 yr old cat to sleep due to termin...

mobius · mobius

Confounds me how I "forget" my brother is an alcoholic. This dawned on me last week when he was in my face, pointing his finger at me, leaning in with that snarl on his face yelling at me. I was actually shocked when I realized I'm in a conversation with an alcoholic! Why is it that I forget thi...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 1 speaks about thinking that; "if only" certain things would happen we could be happy. It points out that by doing so, we are putting our happiness on hold for things beyond our control. It suggests that by applying the First Step and admitting that we are powerles...

Hillyard · Hillyard

So yesterday, the day after I confronted my AW about her drinking and that she needed to stop arguing with our 18 year-old daughter while she was intoxicated, things seemed back to normal in the morning. I could tell my AW felt guilty but there was never any apology. That evening after work we went out t...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I cut contact with my A biol father when my daughter was a baby, and with very good reasons. It was necessary to stay out of contact with all of that side of the family and that's mostly a good thing as they are unfortunately pretty messed up on the whole and crime, drugs and drama were just normal to all. So i...

salvie · salvie

My AH is trying all the time to blame me. He says I throw away his documents, clothes and valuables. Before Al-Anon I believed him, and tried to remember if I have not thrown in the trash his stuff.One day he told me that I threw in the trash his shirts, and I believed him. I bought him two new shirts. And the...

Katisfreetoday · Katisfreetoday

Hello, I often come to the boards and read as a guest, but after 4 years I thought why have I not joined..... Anyway glad to be here and apart of today! I was raised in an alcoholic home, married to an alcoholic who is now in recovery. I have dabbled in alanon for about 4 year, but started working a honest prog...

Cottonjeans · Cottonjeans

I had a very bad day, but I picked up the phone and called my beloved alnon friends, who helped me come back to reality to change my attitude. Here I have been hoping for my AA dh who stopped drinking since December but I found him today in the parking lot at lunchtime drinking. it was a God moment for me to pla...

kspec85 · kspec85

So ABF and I doing ok. He is working on him, I am working on me. Things have been going well. I'm at work right now. He typically texts me throughout the day. In the past, I have always known if he relapsed because all texts and communications stop. I have associated a lack of communication with him to be &qu...

Cottonjeans · Cottonjeans

i thought I would ask you all what helps you get through that bad moment or to change your attitude. I need an alnon meeting. My AA uprooted me to a new state with no friends and I feel so isolated which doesn't feel good. Especially when all I have is the AA for company. i am so angry because he is drinking aga...

cherrin872 · cherrin872

I recently was in a relationship with a man I love. We had one argument one evening, while both of us were intoxicated. I said some ugly things that were very hurtful, however, my intoxication level was a lot higher as opposed to his. He has been drinking for quite a while now, and so His consumption do...

rt · rt

Hey guys. I popped in a few weeks ago or more, and then have been kind of MIA -- still feel kind of weird about talking about this stuff. But, since then I have left to stay at my dad's. My husband has been "dry" and talking about how he may drink in the future -- of course, at this point, he's try...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Greetings beautiful people. I have been away for a while. Busy with life and happiness for a change. I am happy to say that I have filed for divorce (final in june). (nothing was changing and I was verbally abused.) I have taken back control of my life, and even moved. Following where I am being led. I re...

Jerry F · Jerry F

gave it to my Higher Power. Aloha Family just got back from the post op meeting at the Medical Center on Oahu and then stay several more days with a calabash sister (calabash means very close friend from the past) and we had a great time doing catch up with each other which included my present wife. M...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, for a start my grandmother isn't speaking to me.....last night she articulated one of her extremely forceful political opinions, and in my usual style I said "Fair enough, perhaps that's right" but on this occasion she wasn't content with that and she demanded to know "Why, w...

Maine Girl · Maine Girl

My story is this: My alcoholic husband took his life 5 years ago. I went to Al Anon in the 2 years before his death and also afterward. I am now 6 months into a relationship with a man who is almost 9 years sober and works his AA program faithfully. I am discovering how much work I still need to do with my ow...

Erry · Erry

Hi all, very new to al-anon. Question to ask, does anyone carry around resentment and if so how do they deal with it? It consumes me sometimes and although after a couple of hours I'll start reading my literature and feel better it takes me the couple of hours to turn to my literature. Will I always feel li...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I sat and worked with my sponsor last night on Step 3. This one is hard for me. I get the whole frog on the lilly pad thing and that making the decision is only the first step that I have to JUMP too... (from Paths to recovery) I can't got that He can (got that) LET HIM this one is hard for me... ...

Irish7 · Irish7

Occasionally I see a post on the AA board to which I would like to offer e/s/h. Is that permitted? If so, am I able to use my al anon MIP screen name and password to log in over there? Thanks

Jen61 · Jen61

I think I probably have known this for a while but after giving it quite a bit thought I have come to the conclusion that I have lost respect for my husband. We have been together for 38 years with the drinking 10+ years. We have both changed dramatically over those 10 years and it has been hard. I find my...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for April 29 speaks about holding onto guilt and shame. It points out that many members have grown up in an alcoholic home, and because of this are very familiar with harsh criticism and constant fear. We tend to react with guilt and exaggerate the significance of any e...

Hillyard · Hillyard

As I dig deep into my emotions I notice a constant fear driving a lot of my actions. I feel like I'm not worthy. I feel that I can get involved with recovery for myself and my wife will end up finding someone else. It scares me. What I really want id a healthy partner to spend my life with. I want my wife to be tha...

Hillyard · Hillyard

Lots of anxiety over here. I feel like I'm constantly in fight or flight mode. Does anyone else deal with this? My wife f bombed me and I told her not to and that I don't like that language. Then she told me she didn't say it. What???? I'm in the twilight zone. Am I going crazy?

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 30 is a very powerful reflection on the word "selfishness". The reading points out that this word is often maligned and frowned upon and that we must look up at this in a different light. I know that I always thought that I was unselfish and giving until Al-Anon as...

Complexnatural · Complexnatural

I just have to share. I am not new to Alanon. I attended some meetings years ago but never have worked the steps. Now my life is unmanageable and I am ready to get to work on myself. Growing up in an alcoholic house, I became a perfectionist. This includes always working a full-time job and a part-ti...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

3 months ago my husband drove drunk and flipped the car (with me in it.) His court date is this week. His lawyer asked me to be present at the trial and vouch for his progress and sobriety. When we had that original conversation, I was okay with it. AH had been making progress- using his meetings, spon...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 27 speaks about self-esteem and how to attain it. It points out that self-esteem grows when I love and accept myself as I am and that each time I base myr self-worth and what we do or what others think of us, our self-esteem is reduced. If we concentrate on making others happy,...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This past Monday was my AD and her twin sister's birthdays. My AD joined us at our family Easter Brunch at the beginning of April, and we spoke to each other, though not much. She has a boyfriend now, and he seems to be good for her. She looked good (I hadn't seen her for almost two months). I decided to send h...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I am an adult child of 2 alcoholics. They are both still active. I haven't spoken to them in a little over 2 years now. We were pretty close before so it has taken me this long to adjust to our estrangement. I came across some ACOA information through someone on facebook this week that has stirred some thin...

abell · abell

I made the geographic change to leave when i was 20 weeks pregnant from AHBF. I quit my job, sold my car, and went to my parents, they were abusive and my mom hurt the baby, then i drove 1000 miles in 3 days when the baby was 4 months old to go to my aunt's house. my aunt didn't tell me that she was with an abusiv...

kathleen1212 · kathleen1212

I'm wondering if there is a support group online for specifically adult children of alcoholics? Alanon has been great and I want to continue to attend meetings but am looking for extra support. I'm about to go to an alanon meeting with my sister who is working very hard in AA. The support of the alanon...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

ah wont sign off on "my" pension leaving me without money to move out. I knew it was a long shot. he wants to keep me prioner here while he is drunk every day and nite. i dont drive, live out in the booneys. im not 25 anymoer,i cant leave with $100 and a few prs of jeans. it is so terribly expensive he...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well, I got through court just fine. I haven't had that kind of anxiety since I originally had XAH served, his last over the top reaction in January really freaked me out. That had so little to do with me and so much to do with his lack of communication .. nothing new there. I had to laugh to myself though...

Hillyard · Hillyard

Hello, everyone. I'm very new to Al-Anon but I think it's something I'm going to need to be a part of. I have been married for almost 19 years. About 10 years ago my wife began to drink in response to the divorce of her parents. I was drinking at the time too but I eventually slowed down. I still drink but it's...

purav · purav

Hi allThis is the first post I am making on here and I am very new to Al Anon.I have been reading some of the posts and am wondering if my situation is relevant.A little bit of back story might be useful, but I must say I have never written any of this down or even vocalized the situation in a way that was comple...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just out of concern for any in the fellowship of Al-Anon and MIP.... please be extra careful and of course anyone else on the rim of danger. ((((Hugs))))

Jerry F · Jerry F

And welcome to the board. You checked in on Hillyard's post and asked how does one work step 1. Lots of family's gonna stop by and offer their experience on the question also and for me working Step one meant realizing that the problem was alcohol and drug addiction and that everything I had wished o...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

Got home last night from work only to see that my husband had been drinking. Of course he denied it but that only made me more pissed as I want him to know that I am no longer ignoring it and wanted to call him out on it. I know I shouldn't be doing this but I just couldn't help myself. I am still pissed today a...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Talked to my ex A today and I been talking to him daily I should say , since we been divorced we get along better and have more respect for each other's recovery , again I wish I didn't divorce him I just wish he would of given me my space to work on me and get healthy but I guess sometimes a divorce is needed . Wel...

Steffa · Steffa

I'm new to both this forum and Al-Anon. I have been married to an alcoholic for 14 years. We have two children, 18 and 10. His drinking had become so traumatic I insisted he go to rehab or move out last October. He was in rehab for over a month, then sober for nearly 6 months before he relapsed. That was...

Fullcup · Fullcup

I've read a lot of threads & can relate some to my situation but I'm looking for guidance . My Mom is 72 year old active alcoholic with cirrohhis who has tried to get sober via AA but it doesn't last. I have one sibling who lives 3 states away & pretty much has nothing to do with her. My husbands job br...

vlia1029 · vlia1029

I went to my first al-anon meeting yesterday. My AH thinks it was a support group for parents of special needs children. When I came home he asked how it went. I told him how much I liked it and how I wanted to start going every Sunday and Monday. He was totally on board, at first. Then he responded, what abou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hold my hand please... AH returns to work today (Preview) I am a nervous wreck. My AH who was arrested on 1/5/15 and has been doing rehab (and thankfully is still sober) returns to the job he hates this morning. Normally I would have stayed home and made sure he was up and moving... NOT my circus not my monkeys... The best i did was wake him to make sure he got his...	ladybugnessa	15	575	May 4, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	todays odat (Preview) Gives me chills. Sticks in my mind. Its all about a man who loses his wife but goes on to speak at ameeting. He tells the story of a woman who gets a knock at the door during ww2. The man who has knocked her door arrives to tell her her husband has died, she guesses this and invites the man in for tea. He is amazed...	el-cee	13	612	May 4, 2015 by Jerry F
	Last night... (Preview) My wife had a few drinks. She was fine until she went out with our 18 year old daughter to get a pie at the store. My daughter drove. An argument for no reason occurred and my wife became nasty and obscene. They came home. My wife corners my daughter doing the whole arguing nonsense. I enter the room she tell...	Hillyard	14	636	May 4, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Boundary (Preview) Nothing has really changed with AD. The usual A behaviours that you are all familiar with. Incredibly heartbreaking and stressful but slowly I am getting more realistic and not reacting as much nor pleading, lecturing etc. It is however the absolutely most difficult thing I have endured. I h...	serenity47	7	390	May 4, 2015 by serenity47
	we are enlightened!!!! (Preview) The odat today asks us to consider everything being a gift from God of our understanding , everything. We might not like things not turning out our way, we are disappointed and rebel against unhappiness, fighting against the truth of our situation. We might think God of our understanding is punishin...	el-cee	3	329	May 4, 2015 by Mike B
	BBQ yesterday evening (Preview) So, my family went over to meet the neighbors last night. Very nice people but lots of beer. My AW only had 1 or 2 glasses of wine so that was pleasant. It's strange how dominant alcohol is in everything we do in this culture. They had a young adult son in his mid 20s and that's all he was doing, pounding down b...	Hillyard	2	325	May 4, 2015 by Mike B
	My cure for fear was an alcoholic (Preview) When I think back to what led me to get together and stay for years with an active alcoholic I am coming to see that I'm kind of back in that stage of my life again. I'm living life pretty full on, or my own interpretation of that, taking some chances lately, working hard on myself and the rewards are coming....	el-cee	8	610	May 4, 2015 by el-cee
	Completely Frustrated with Myself (Preview) Hi, I am in program about 18 months. I have seen improvement with the way I deal with my reactions to others and less angry response. However, I am not seeing progress and I have asked God for help, guidance. directions in one area of my life I am really struggling with and feeling awful because I am see...	Constant inner battle	5	543	May 3, 2015 by Mirandac
	My SO is a recovering alcoholic. I need advice. (Preview) My girlfriend is a recovering alcoholic and doing very well in her sobriety. She is 2 years, almost 3 sober. We met at work. I pursued her. We've been dating for almost 3months. I'm her first sober relationship. I have absolutely no idea how to deal with her. Ive set boundaries and made it known what I wil...	Lnicole	5	458	May 3, 2015 by Constant inner battle
	Newbie here.....cool place....but have a question. (Preview) My adult son has been seeing a therapist and I believe he has been successfully keeping his alcohol abuse from the therapists knowledge. (He's is very creative.) Is it ethical to make his therapist aware of it? Would it be detrimental if my son finds out that I ratted on him? -- Edited by bbqbrisket on Su...	bbqbrisket	4	442	May 3, 2015 by hotrod
	Still trying to control (Preview) I find it very interesting that my XAH is still trying to manage my time even though it's been what .. 3 years? My poor kiddos, .. they get so tired of answering his bizzaro questions about what I'm doing. There is a total reason I have a no contact clause in the divorce decree. Last visitation which kee...	SerenityRUS	0	394	May 3, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Confusion (Preview) Sometimes I wonder if I am overreacting about all of this. My AWs disease has not progressed as far as some of the stories I've read on here. But now, since I've been on these boards, I have begun to notice just how often my AW drinks, how she acts when she drinks (slurring her speech, swearing, etc) and I fe...	Hillyard	4	469	May 3, 2015 by pinkchip
	Good night / good bye all (Preview) Thanks for the help in the past. Could use it. But apparently I cuss too much and my anti-police stance have raised teh ire of some pro-cop / anti-cussing admins. Good luck ya'll, could have really used your help tonight, but oh well. Keep helping folks.	AWSmith	15	799	May 3, 2015 by hotrod
	Feeling lost with adult children (Preview) I left my xah 22 years ago when I realized that the insanity was making me and my young children crazy. I grew up in a home with an a father so I recognized the crazy making. I have raised 3 nice sons, university educated and they seem pretty well balanced given the father they have had - still a serious a. ...	Complexnatural	6	552	May 3, 2015 by Complexnatural
	Come a long way baby!! :) (Preview) Wanted to share with everyone something that happened a few evenings ago. I purchased a mattress 2 1/2 years ago, the mattress is not holding up at all and has a 5 year unconditional warrantee. I needed...	Debb	11	542	May 3, 2015 by Debb
	New to Al Anon worried it might be too late. (Preview) I am completely new to Al Anon. I just went to my first meeting Tuesday. I have been going crazy needing to share my story with someone - anyone - as I feel like I am about to hit bottom. My H is an alcoholic. We have been together 15 years, and he started drinking 7 years ago. Before that, he was emotional...	JennaClair	9	563	May 3, 2015 by JennaClair
	ODAT 5-2 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 2 speaks about the power and importance of prayer.. It points out that prayer is simply a reaching out to make contact with a power greater than ourselves. It acknowledges our personal helplessness which has been demonstrated in their efforts to find peace and security. The r...	hotrod	1	351	May 2, 2015 by serenity47
	Socializing... (Preview) My AW and I both feel that we want to start socializing with others more, have people over, etc. I am very afraid about this. I don't want the socializing to center around alcohol. We went out with a few couples from her work and she got drunk each time. We are attempting to get more involved with a church we...	Hillyard	4	407	May 2, 2015 by Irish7
	I know hanging up on people is rude... (Preview) My AD, who denies she is either an alcoholic or addict....called me yesterday. I couldn't understand very much of what she said as she was partly whispering, but she also said she hadn't slept all the night before. She said she was depressed (because I had to put my/her 15 yr old cat to sleep due to termin...	lgnutah	7	572	May 2, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Why don't I remember that I'm talking with an alcoholic? (Preview) Confounds me how I "forget" my brother is an alcoholic. This dawned on me last week when he was in my face, pointing his finger at me, leaning in with that snarl on his face yelling at me. I was actually shocked when I realized I'm in a conversation with an alcoholic! Why is it that I forget thi...	mobius	2	392	May 2, 2015 by purav
	C2C and ODAT 5-1 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 1 speaks about thinking that; "if only" certain things would happen we could be happy. It points out that by doing so, we are putting our happiness on hold for things beyond our control. It suggests that by applying the First Step and admitting that we are powerles...	hotrod	1	386	May 2, 2015 by Debb
	Another night of confusion... (Preview) So yesterday, the day after I confronted my AW about her drinking and that she needed to stop arguing with our 18 year-old daughter while she was intoxicated, things seemed back to normal in the morning. I could tell my AW felt guilty but there was never any apology. That evening after work we went out t...	Hillyard	8	553	May 2, 2015 by el-cee
	Ugh. (Preview) I cut contact with my A biol father when my daughter was a baby, and with very good reasons. It was necessary to stay out of contact with all of that side of the family and that's mostly a good thing as they are unfortunately pretty messed up on the whole and crime, drugs and drama were just normal to all. So i...	missmeliss	2	517	May 2, 2015 by Mirandac
	My life had become unmanageable (Preview) My AH is trying all the time to blame me. He says I throw away his documents, clothes and valuables. Before Al-Anon I believed him, and tried to remember if I have not thrown in the trash his stuff.One day he told me that I threw in the trash his shirts, and I believed him. I bought him two new shirts. And the...	salvie	8	680	May 2, 2015 by missmeliss
	Introducing myself (Preview) Hello, I often come to the boards and read as a guest, but after 4 years I thought why have I not joined..... Anyway glad to be here and apart of today! I was raised in an alcoholic home, married to an alcoholic who is now in recovery. I have dabbled in alanon for about 4 year, but started working a honest prog...	Katisfreetoday	7	406	May 1, 2015 by hotrod
	Hope in Myself (Preview) I had a very bad day, but I picked up the phone and called my beloved alnon friends, who helped me come back to reality to change my attitude. Here I have been hoping for my AA dh who stopped drinking since December but I found him today in the parking lot at lunchtime drinking. it was a God moment for me to pla...	Cottonjeans	4	596	May 1, 2015 by hotrod
	Need ESH, How to Cope (Preview) So ABF and I doing ok. He is working on him, I am working on me. Things have been going well. I'm at work right now. He typically texts me throughout the day. In the past, I have always known if he relapsed because all texts and communications stop. I have associated a lack of communication with him to be &qu...	kspec85	4	471	May 1, 2015 by Katisfreetoday
	What works for you (Preview) i thought I would ask you all what helps you get through that bad moment or to change your attitude. I need an alnon meeting. My AA uprooted me to a new state with no friends and I feel so isolated which doesn't feel good. Especially when all I have is the AA for company. i am so angry because he is drinking aga...	Cottonjeans	3	387	May 1, 2015 by Katisfreetoday
	I feel LOST! (Preview) I recently was in a relationship with a man I love. We had one argument one evening, while both of us were intoxicated. I said some ugly things that were very hurtful, however, my intoxication level was a lot higher as opposed to his. He has been drinking for quite a while now, and so His consumption do...	cherrin872	11	497	May 1, 2015 by Hillyard
	the difference between knowing and accepting (Preview) Hey guys. I popped in a few weeks ago or more, and then have been kind of MIA -- still feel kind of weird about talking about this stuff. But, since then I have left to stay at my dad's. My husband has been "dry" and talking about how he may drink in the future -- of course, at this point, he's try...	rt	10	742	May 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	Met someone...no red flags...but he is an alcoholic (Preview) Greetings beautiful people. I have been away for a while. Busy with life and happiness for a change. I am happy to say that I have filed for divorce (final in june). (nothing was changing and I was verbally abused.) I have taken back control of my life, and even moved. Following where I am being led. I re...	sadsusie	9	1017	May 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	Got my inventory taken.... (Preview) gave it to my Higher Power. Aloha Family just got back from the post op meeting at the Medical Center on Oahu and then stay several more days with a calabash sister (calabash means very close friend from the past) and we had a great time doing catch up with each other which included my present wife. M...	Jerry F	4	494	May 1, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Thanks for nothing, Wednesday. (Preview) Well, for a start my grandmother isn't speaking to me.....last night she articulated one of her extremely forceful political opinions, and in my usual style I said "Fair enough, perhaps that's right" but on this occasion she wasn't content with that and she demanded to know "Why, w...	missmeliss	5	621	May 1, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Being in relationship with a man who works his AA program showing me I have work to do..... (Preview) My story is this: My alcoholic husband took his life 5 years ago. I went to Al Anon in the 2 years before his death and also afterward. I am now 6 months into a relationship with a man who is almost 9 years sober and works his AA program faithfully. I am discovering how much work I still need to do with my ow...	Maine Girl	3	293	May 1, 2015 by hotrod
	resentment (Preview) Hi all, very new to al-anon. Question to ask, does anyone carry around resentment and if so how do they deal with it? It consumes me sometimes and although after a couple of hours I'll start reading my literature and feel better it takes me the couple of hours to turn to my literature. Will I always feel li...	Erry	7	984	May 1, 2015 by Complexnatural
	Struggling with Step3 STEP 3 (Preview) I sat and worked with my sponsor last night on Step 3. This one is hard for me. I get the whole frog on the lilly pad thing and that making the decision is only the first step that I have to JUMP too... (from Paths to recovery) I can't got that He can (got that) LET HIM this one is hard for me... ...	ladybugnessa	9	443	May 1, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	Posting on AA board? (Preview) Occasionally I see a post on the AA board to which I would like to offer e/s/h. Is that permitted? If so, am I able to use my al anon MIP screen name and password to log in over there? Thanks	Irish7	2	427	Apr 30, 2015 by Irish7
	I have come to the conclusion (Preview) I think I probably have known this for a while but after giving it quite a bit thought I have come to the conclusion that I have lost respect for my husband. We have been together for 38 years with the drinking 10+ years. We have both changed dramatically over those 10 years and it has been hard. I find my...	Jen61	9	589	Apr 30, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	C2C 4-29 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for April 29 speaks about holding onto guilt and shame. It points out that many members have grown up in an alcoholic home, and because of this are very familiar with harsh criticism and constant fear. We tend to react with guilt and exaggerate the significance of any e...	hotrod	5	333	Apr 30, 2015 by ntd2001
	Lack of self esteem (Preview) As I dig deep into my emotions I notice a constant fear driving a lot of my actions. I feel like I'm not worthy. I feel that I can get involved with recovery for myself and my wife will end up finding someone else. It scares me. What I really want id a healthy partner to spend my life with. I want my wife to be tha...	Hillyard	10	880	Apr 30, 2015 by Jerry F
	My stomach is in knots (Preview) Lots of anxiety over here. I feel like I'm constantly in fight or flight mode. Does anyone else deal with this? My wife f bombed me and I told her not to and that I don't like that language. Then she told me she didn't say it. What???? I'm in the twilight zone. Am I going crazy?	Hillyard	12	948	Apr 30, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	ODAT 4-30 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 30 is a very powerful reflection on the word "selfishness". The reading points out that this word is often maligned and frowned upon and that we must look up at this in a different light. I know that I always thought that I was unselfish and giving until Al-Anon as...	hotrod	0	257	Apr 30, 2015 by hotrod
	Turned it over to my hp (Preview) I just have to share. I am not new to Alanon. I attended some meetings years ago but never have worked the steps. Now my life is unmanageable and I am ready to get to work on myself. Growing up in an alcoholic house, I became a perfectionist. This includes always working a full-time job and a part-ti...	Complexnatural	1	309	Apr 30, 2015 by hotrod
	Conflicted about court appearance. (Preview) 3 months ago my husband drove drunk and flipped the car (with me in it.) His court date is this week. His lawyer asked me to be present at the trial and vouch for his progress and sobriety. When we had that original conversation, I was okay with it. AH had been making progress- using his meetings, spon...	Bloodshotbetty	18	638	Apr 30, 2015 by Mike B
	C2C and ODAT thoughts for 4-27 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 27 speaks about self-esteem and how to attain it. It points out that self-esteem grows when I love and accept myself as I am and that each time I base myr self-worth and what we do or what others think of us, our self-esteem is reduced. If we concentrate on making others happy,...	hotrod	4	418	Apr 30, 2015 by Debb
	AD Continues to Pull at My Heartstrings (Preview) This past Monday was my AD and her twin sister's birthdays. My AD joined us at our family Easter Brunch at the beginning of April, and we spoke to each other, though not much. She has a boyfriend now, and he seems to be good for her. She looked good (I hadn't seen her for almost two months). I decided to send h...	Green Eyes	10	631	Apr 29, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	ACOA (Preview) I am an adult child of 2 alcoholics. They are both still active. I haven't spoken to them in a little over 2 years now. We were pretty close before so it has taken me this long to adjust to our estrangement. I came across some ACOA information through someone on facebook this week that has stirred some thin...	StargazerLily	3	266	Apr 29, 2015 by hotrod
	Just me and my baby (Preview) I made the geographic change to leave when i was 20 weeks pregnant from AHBF. I quit my job, sold my car, and went to my parents, they were abusive and my mom hurt the baby, then i drove 1000 miles in 3 days when the baby was 4 months old to go to my aunt's house. my aunt didn't tell me that she was with an abusiv...	abell	4	476	Apr 29, 2015 by hotrod
	Adult Children of Alcoholics? (Preview) I'm wondering if there is a support group online for specifically adult children of alcoholics? Alanon has been great and I want to continue to attend meetings but am looking for extra support. I'm about to go to an alanon meeting with my sister who is working very hard in AA. The support of the alanon...	kathleen1212	1	208	Apr 29, 2015 by pinkchip
	help me!!! (Preview) ah wont sign off on "my" pension leaving me without money to move out. I knew it was a long shot. he wants to keep me prioner here while he is drunk every day and nite. i dont drive, live out in the booneys. im not 25 anymoer,i cant leave with $100 and a few prs of jeans. it is so terribly expensive he...	YARNCRAZY	8	758	Apr 29, 2015 by el-cee
	Court (Preview) Well, I got through court just fine. I haven't had that kind of anxiety since I originally had XAH served, his last over the top reaction in January really freaked me out. That had so little to do with me and so much to do with his lack of communication .. nothing new there. I had to laugh to myself though...	SerenityRUS	3	476	Apr 29, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) Hello, everyone. I'm very new to Al-Anon but I think it's something I'm going to need to be a part of. I have been married for almost 19 years. About 10 years ago my wife began to drink in response to the divorce of her parents. I was drinking at the time too but I eventually slowed down. I still drink but it's...	Hillyard	18	591	Apr 29, 2015 by Jerry F
	how can I be free of this? (Preview) Hi allThis is the first post I am making on here and I am very new to Al Anon.I have been reading some of the posts and am wondering if my situation is relevant.A little bit of back story might be useful, but I must say I have never written any of this down or even vocalized the situation in a way that was comple...	purav	13	657	Apr 29, 2015 by purav
	Baltimore (Preview) Just out of concern for any in the fellowship of Al-Anon and MIP.... please be extra careful and of course anyone else on the rim of danger. ((((Hugs))))	Jerry F	5	1846	Apr 29, 2015 by pinkchip
	Aloha Kwrocks (Preview) And welcome to the board. You checked in on Hillyard's post and asked how does one work step 1. Lots of family's gonna stop by and offer their experience on the question also and for me working Step one meant realizing that the problem was alcohol and drug addiction and that everything I had wished o...	Jerry F	1	375	Apr 29, 2015 by hotrod
	How do you keep the anger and resentment at bay? (Preview) Got home last night from work only to see that my husband had been drinking. Of course he denied it but that only made me more pissed as I want him to know that I am no longer ignoring it and wanted to call him out on it. I know I shouldn't be doing this but I just couldn't help myself. I am still pissed today a...	Jazzie18	13	835	Apr 28, 2015 by maryjane
	Talked to Ex (Preview) Talked to my ex A today and I been talking to him daily I should say , since we been divorced we get along better and have more respect for each other's recovery , again I wish I didn't divorce him I just wish he would of given me my space to work on me and get healthy but I guess sometimes a divorce is needed . Wel...	Wisdom67	3	490	Apr 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Husband in recovery just relapsed. Now what? (Preview) I'm new to both this forum and Al-Anon. I have been married to an alcoholic for 14 years. We have two children, 18 and 10. His drinking had become so traumatic I insisted he go to rehab or move out last October. He was in rehab for over a month, then sober for nearly 6 months before he relapsed. That was...	Steffa	15	797	Apr 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	New to group & Mom is Alcoholic (Preview) I've read a lot of threads & can relate some to my situation but I'm looking for guidance . My Mom is 72 year old active alcoholic with cirrohhis who has tried to get sober via AA but it doesn't last. I have one sibling who lives 3 states away & pretty much has nothing to do with her. My husbands job br...	Fullcup	11	627	Apr 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Encouragement needed (Preview) I went to my first al-anon meeting yesterday. My AH thinks it was a support group for parents of special needs children. When I came home he asked how it went. I told him how much I liked it and how I wanted to start going every Sunday and Monday. He was totally on board, at first. Then he responded, what abou...	vlia1029	5	362	Apr 28, 2015 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.