Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for May 10 talks about the power of detachment. It states that being detached does not mean we're not living a caring, is just indicated, we are allowing another with dignity to take care of themselves as we take care of ourselves in a healthy fashionthe reading goes on to state that the...

barbarella · barbarella

Hi, I am new here. My mom only began coming out of denial over the past year about my A stepfather. He moved in with us when I was 15 (I am 38 now). I noticed the drinking right away but my mother did not. She went to great lengths to protect and defend him throughout my life. Now, she is divorcing him, after...

Fearngully · Fearngully

My husband quit drinking and joined AA a few days ago. It is a great relief to not have him drunk every night. But a new unsettling fear has settled over me. Nothing between us has changed for me. I am glad he is trying another way but it will take time for me. He sees that as me not letting him take it day by d...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm doing a little venting and contemplating at the moment so just trying to get it out here .. LOL .. sponsor is on vacation and she deserves not to listen to me whine. My XAH did not take the kids this weekend at all .. the ironic part is this .. he already set them up not to even ask last visitation and I have...

Debb · Debb

I discovered this morning that AH did not pay the April heating oil budget plan bill. So I told him he should have discussed his reasons for not paying it, because we got a bill this month that shows we are in arrears. I went and paid the $250 so that when the oil company tops off our tank for the summer that...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

Hello everyone, it is so good to be here. Even though I am a newbie I have already read so many posts that I relate to. My wife, who is an alcoholic, just asked me for a divorce after 6 years. I came home from a trip and in a very robotic way she said, "I want out. I'm done. I need to be wild and free. I'...

worried Mom · worried Mom

New here, new to Al-Anon (2nd F2F meeting today) but......yesterday after my first meeting I was feeling lost and confused (glad I went but still lost). ANYWAY

I'm an avid yardsaler...stopped at one and guess what I got for $1.....tada...a 14 X 16 picture of Jesus holding the lost lamb. Every time...

worried Mom · worried Mom

Are the 12 steps for Al-Anon that exact same ones that AA uses?

emerald eyes · emerald eyes

Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum. I'm feeling totally lost today, nothing seems to be lifting my mood. I've read over my literature and prayed but still I feel like I'm in zombie mode. AH in recovery four weeks. Anyone any hints on how to lift mood?

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 9 focuses on the fact that by living with the disease of alcoholism we suffer the loss of self-worth and self-esteem. It points out that were not comfortable with compliments or kind words. In order to be able to recover it was suggested that we make asset and gratitude lists each...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

I was just reading that we are as sick as our secrets. I thought I would make a list of some as an experiment, as a purge, and maybe other people will relate to some of them. Here are the ones I remember right now, off the top of my head. When I got together with my A, I had a suspicion about three weeks in that...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60167332/alanon-tradition-8/

a4l · a4l

Well the fan is hit. I decided to finalise the seperation by moving things to a more formal process. We had been doing an arrangement where the ah would come for weekends or when he was feeling down. For my part, I was hoping we could move into a friend ship type role, but I must have been having some kind of f...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My daughter started screaming in pain at the loss of her step daddy. This disease is beyond not fair. I dragged my daughter into loving a bipolar alcoholic and all I have is tears for the life we should have had- compared to what we ended up with. I can pretend that this is not a reality and I can pretend that...

PhilB · PhilB

There is a reading in one of the daily readers that includes this concept; It isn't my powerlessness that is the problem. It's the idea that i should have power that's the problem. I cannot find this reading. Can someone help? I have learned in 4th and 5th step work that it is my job to focus on what is, not w...

butterfly88 · butterfly88

I hate the weekend. I love to not have to work...but the weekends are when either 1)my weekend is absorbed with AH getting wasted and doing whatever he wants until Sunday when he apologizes or 2)he isn't drinking, like now, but he is so irritable and annoyed that he can't drink that everything is an issu...

worried Mom · worried Mom

I've seen the stickies but I guess I'm thick headed.

worried Mom · worried Mom

Just found y'all yesterday... went to last nights 9:00 meeting, been reading these posts.....I have an A daughter who admits she's an A, she's married to an A who doesn't admit it. I let her call me all hours of the night and listen to her drunk ramblings. Nothing makes sense. I get the feeling from posts...

glad · glad

I've been thinking about the correlation between God's grace and mercy and a sense of entitlement. Since God's Grace is him giving us things we don't deserve and his Mercy is him not giving us what we do deserve. In social service work I see clients who determine in their own mind (and are taught by the s...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 8 speaks about the gifts that are offered to us by practicing the Al-Anon program. It points out that "freedom "is one of the gifts that we receive. When we come to Al-Anon we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair and by working the program we are be able to re...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning all Today is the 8th anniversary of my son's passing from this disease I miss him every moment of every day.

Hillyard · Hillyard

Since I came on these I'm beginning to notice some improvement, mainly in my thinking. I'm so tightly wound with anxiety but I feel the rope loosening around me. I'm putting a lot of emphasis on letting my HP's will be done and not mine. I am allowing myself to do more things that I'd usually refrain from i...

bells28 · bells28

Hi everyone.. I'm new to the forum but I have been popping in and out for around 5 years now. Just to fill you in abit... I met my husband in 2008 married in 2011 he is 47 and I am 28.. we have 2 young children who are 8 (his step daughter) and our boy is 2. He moved in with me in 2010, I knew he had a drinking problem...

butterfly88 · butterfly88

I just need to get this out there. It's been so long of up and down. I know my story is probably not as severe as others, but to me...it is an endless cycle that seems to be stealing everything I am away from me. I have been married to my husband for 14 years. When he isn't drinking and when he isn't depresse...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

It is with a lot of guilt that I come back to the Al-Anon board. Guilt that I have been gone for so long and guilt because I was so cocky that I felt as though I no longer needed to come here and my f2f meetings. I am back to both and just as crazy as I was when I first showed up here to the board. I am aware enough to kn...

irishwife · irishwife

I am new to this. I am getting ready to marry the man i love. He is an alcoholic. I knew this from the start and about his past. I know he has gotten help before and then started drinking again. He has never hit me or been verbaly abusive. I came home one day and he had been drinking after getting some bad news no...

Hillyard · Hillyard

So, here we go again. My AW is mad because I'm not responding the way she wants me to regarding a situation. She wants me to feel passionate about something and I do but not the way she would like. I tried to listen an be supportive but it wasn't good enough. I tried to reiterate that I do care I just don't resp...

JAH91 · JAH91

Good evening everyone, I am writing here because I am not sure how to deal with my mothers alcoholism anymore and I am wanting to find some advice from people that have been in a similar situation. From a little girl, around the age of six, I have grown up with this crazy and emotionally tolling world that...

GreenerGal · GreenerGal

It has been such an awful couple of weeks. Two of my dear friends have passed away, financial stress and taxes and now last night after my friend's service my AB and I stopped by his office to drop off the bike and there on his desk was a razor blade. I stared in disbelief for half a second then picked it up,...

Jerry F · Jerry F

That is a statement taught to me by my early sponsor after I realize in my stubbornness that I have attempted to control outcomes and came up battered and bruised. That sponsor is gone now however the lesson is fresh, loud and clear. My wife exercised caring for me leaving me a list of 10 suggestions wh...

gabigail · gabigail

I have in my recovery process two years ago realized that I am a codependent and that looking back at my parent's relationship, that's exactly what it was. But I did not grow up with alcohol. It was only when I got married that I realized the problem I inherited from my parents. I think the most glaringly o...

hotrod · hotrod

This. C2C reading for 5-7 speaks about alcoholism being a disease. It points out that once we truly accept that alcoholism this important fact, we are set free from trying to control it or be angry with the alcoholic. We can then turn our attention to our own recovery. This recovery is crucial to our o...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

I took my husbands car off of our insurance. I have reasons to believe he has driven drunk a couple times (even though he just got a DUI). I told him a few weeks ago that if he continued to do so, I would remove him from the insurance and he would have to take the bus to work. Well, I FOLLOWED THROUGH, which I...

pixie · pixie

I've mentioned that my alcoholic father in law has dementia. But he's now 82 years old. My husband who is 55 is showing signs of what I'll call forgetfulness since he hasn't been to a dr. to be diagnosed. He forgets that I've told him things but gets mad when something happens and he'll say "why did...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Need some feedback pleaseâ¦Iâm not sure if my reaction/response to something my AH does when heâs been drinking borders on controlling/lack of acceptance (step 1) or if I am setting a true boundary.Â He claimed two weeks ago that he had hit his bottom and swore to all (his family, me, his job) that he...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for may six talks about Step 5, which asked that we, admit to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. The reading goes on to point out that many of us are intimidated by this step because it means revealing our darkest secrets. These secrets we kept in our...

missmeliss · missmeliss

A local shopping centre is running a Mothers Day competition where the grand prize is 2 tickets to Elton John. Oh yes please, my mum and I are both big fans. The competition asks that you write 25 words about why your mum is special. So I decided to tell my mother about the competition and asked her what she...

dee88 · dee88

After reading the "Hope for Today, May 5" I went to read the slogans and I realized I think the best slogan for this new path in my life will be Listen & Learn. I am new to Al-Anon and am very excited to be able to participate in the online forum, as it is what makes me feel most comfortable. I wa...

butterfly88 · butterfly88

So I really want to change my actions and my thinking when it comes to my AH and our family...I'm planning to go through all of the steps and to attend meetings (as soon as I find my nerve), but in the meantime, I need something to give me strength for where I am right now. So his family has known he's gone th...

Irish7 · Irish7

I am currently working step 3, for several weeks now. I pray every night for God's will and the power to carry that out. But I cannot seem to figure out what God's will for me is. I am so so caught up in the confusion and subterfuge of this disease (married to an A and his two 20 something kids who live with us ar...

bc5913 · bc5913

I really need advice. I am turning to al-anon because I find no one understands the situation I am in and it is so easy for them to say to cut my losses and leave. I am in love with a man who has an alcohol problem. When we first met we both used to drink together all the time and at first it was fun but then it turne...

Gah2010 · Gah2010

I am a new member. I am having a difficult time with balancing "being a goood daughter" and setting boundaries. I have been living with this issue my entire life, I guess I'm tired (46 yrs). I have always been the adult. I recently found out that my mom started drinking again. I really wa...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about the slogans--their simplicity, their helpfulness, the way they can help keep us going in our right direction. In the first paragraph the writer makes the point that initially he thought the slogans were trite, over simplified, and was skeptical a...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

Anyone interested in this? I am a texter and the more support the better, right? PM me- especially if you are a night owl! I seem to do my worst/obsessive thinking at that time. (I do face to face meetings at well, so this isnt my only means of support :)

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi everyone! My ah was able to make it 4 months without drinking and then he slipped. I told him it isn't the slip but how he acts that is what I have problems with. The dry drunk came back with a vengeance and the mood swings it was one day of slippage and his moods went south he mentioned that he might be bipol...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

-The Ultimate Responsibility and Authority for Alanon World Services Belongs to the Alanon Groups - Something that has helped me a great deal in my own recovery and given me a great perspective on how to look at my recovery differently are the Concepts. Which very honestly after Steps and Traditio...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've been marvelling over the whole "you're only as sick as your secrets" thing today. I know that years ago, when my daughter was a toddler and her father had recently left, I was at the library one day for story hour and I left her on a bean-bag with a bunch of happy little kids and asked a mum if...

Hillyard · Hillyard

I'm having a conflict right now and I'm not sure what to do. I have a hobby that I really enjoy that I have been involved in for over 23 years and I am thinking of letting it go. Right now it is really the only form of socializing that I do as it involved three other guys, one of whom is a good friend. I keep prayin...

Irish7 · Irish7

At an open AA meeting tonight, the speaker mentioned an AA saying that I just loved:time stand for "things I must earn". Wow, that hits home. ive only been in al anon for 5 months, and I'm working hard on me. My attitude reflects the progress. this week I started to wonder why some relationshi...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I am a nervous wreck. My AH who was arrested on 1/5/15 and has been doing rehab (and thankfully is still sober) returns to the job he hates this morning. Normally I would have stayed home and made sure he was up and moving... NOT my circus not my monkeys... The best i did was wake him to make sure he got his...

el-cee · el-cee

Gives me chills. Sticks in my mind. Its all about a man who loses his wife but goes on to speak at ameeting. He tells the story of a woman who gets a knock at the door during ww2. The man who has knocked her door arrives to tell her her husband has died, she guesses this and invites the man in for tea. He is amazed...

Hillyard · Hillyard

My wife had a few drinks. She was fine until she went out with our 18 year old daughter to get a pie at the store. My daughter drove. An argument for no reason occurred and my wife became nasty and obscene. They came home. My wife corners my daughter doing the whole arguing nonsense. I enter the room she tell...

serenity47 · serenity47

Nothing has really changed with AD. The usual A behaviours that you are all familiar with. Incredibly heartbreaking and stressful but slowly I am getting more realistic and not reacting as much nor pleading, lecturing etc. It is however the absolutely most difficult thing I have endured. I h...

el-cee · el-cee

The odat today asks us to consider everything being a gift from God of our understanding , everything. We might not like things not turning out our way, we are disappointed and rebel against unhappiness, fighting against the truth of our situation. We might think God of our understanding is punishin...

Hillyard · Hillyard

So, my family went over to meet the neighbors last night. Very nice people but lots of beer. My AW only had 1 or 2 glasses of wine so that was pleasant. It's strange how dominant alcohol is in everything we do in this culture. They had a young adult son in his mid 20s and that's all he was doing, pounding down b...

el-cee · el-cee

When I think back to what led me to get together and stay for years with an active alcoholic I am coming to see that I'm kind of back in that stage of my life again. I'm living life pretty full on, or my own interpretation of that, taking some chances lately, working hard on myself and the rewards are coming....

Constant inner battle · Constant inner battle

Hi, I am in program about 18 months. I have seen improvement with the way I deal with my reactions to others and less angry response. However, I am not seeing progress and I have asked God for help, guidance. directions in one area of my life I am really struggling with and feeling awful because I am see...

Lnicole · Lnicole

My girlfriend is a recovering alcoholic and doing very well in her sobriety. She is 2 years, almost 3 sober. We met at work. I pursued her. We've been dating for almost 3months. I'm her first sober relationship. I have absolutely no idea how to deal with her. Ive set boundaries and made it known what I wil...

bbqbrisket · bbqbrisket

My adult son has been seeing a therapist and I believe he has been successfully keeping his alcohol abuse from the therapists knowledge. (He's is very creative.) Is it ethical to make his therapist aware of it? Would it be detrimental if my son finds out that I ratted on him? -- Edited by bbqbrisket on Su...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I find it very interesting that my XAH is still trying to manage my time even though it's been what .. 3 years? My poor kiddos, .. they get so tired of answering his bizzaro questions about what I'm doing. There is a total reason I have a no contact clause in the divorce decree. Last visitation which kee...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ODAT Reading 5-10 (Preview) The ODA T reading for May 10 talks about the power of detachment. It states that being detached does not mean we're not living a caring, is just indicated, we are allowing another with dignity to take care of themselves as we take care of ourselves in a healthy fashionthe reading goes on to state that the...	hotrod	2	576	May 10, 2015 by maryjane
	(trigger warning) heartbreak with codependent mom (Preview) Hi, I am new here. My mom only began coming out of denial over the past year about my A stepfather. He moved in with us when I was 15 (I am 38 now). I noticed the drinking right away but my mother did not. She went to great lengths to protect and defend him throughout my life. Now, she is divorcing him, after...	barbarella	7	2506	May 10, 2015 by barbarella
	Fear (Preview) My husband quit drinking and joined AA a few days ago. It is a great relief to not have him drunk every night. But a new unsettling fear has settled over me. Nothing between us has changed for me. I am glad he is trying another way but it will take time for me. He sees that as me not letting him take it day by d...	Fearngully	4	499	May 10, 2015 by maryjane
	Fun Weekend :) (Preview) I'm doing a little venting and contemplating at the moment so just trying to get it out here .. LOL .. sponsor is on vacation and she deserves not to listen to me whine. My XAH did not take the kids this weekend at all .. the ironic part is this .. he already set them up not to even ask last visitation and I have...	SerenityRUS	0	444	May 10, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Just need to bounce this off you all (Preview) I discovered this morning that AH did not pay the April heating oil budget plan bill. So I told him he should have discussed his reasons for not paying it, because we got a bill this month that shows we are in arrears. I went and paid the $250 so that when the oil company tops off our tank for the summer that...	Debb	11	1107	May 10, 2015 by Debb
	Complications or just plain alcoholic mean-ness? (Preview) Hello everyone, it is so good to be here. Even though I am a newbie I have already read so many posts that I relate to. My wife, who is an alcoholic, just asked me for a divorce after 6 years. I came home from a trip and in a very robotic way she said, "I want out. I'm done. I need to be wild and free. I'...	SpookyMulder	8	729	May 10, 2015 by el-cee
	Speaking of mysterious ways..... (Preview) New here, new to Al-Anon (2nd F2F meeting today) but......yesterday after my first meeting I was feeling lost and confused (glad I went but still lost). ANYWAY I'm an avid yardsaler...stopped at one and guess what I got for $1.....tada...a 14 X 16 picture of Jesus holding the lost lamb. Every time...	worried Mom	2	379	May 9, 2015 by missmeliss
	oh boy.....another ? (Preview) Are the 12 steps for Al-Anon that exact same ones that AA uses?	worried Mom	4	401	May 9, 2015 by worried Mom
	feeling lost (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum. I'm feeling totally lost today, nothing seems to be lifting my mood. I've read over my literature and prayed but still I feel like I'm in zombie mode. AH in recovery four weeks. Anyone any hints on how to lift mood?	emerald eyes	8	613	May 9, 2015 by worried Mom
	C2C 5-9 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 9 focuses on the fact that by living with the disease of alcoholism we suffer the loss of self-worth and self-esteem. It points out that were not comfortable with compliments or kind words. In order to be able to recover it was suggested that we make asset and gratitude lists each...	hotrod	1	371	May 9, 2015 by Debb
	My Sick Secrets... (Preview) I was just reading that we are as sick as our secrets. I thought I would make a list of some as an experiment, as a purge, and maybe other people will relate to some of them. Here are the ones I remember right now, off the top of my head. When I got together with my A, I had a suspicion about three weeks in that...	SpookyMulder	4	688	May 9, 2015 by missmeliss
	Tradition 8 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60167332/alanon-tradition-8/	hotrod	2	590	May 9, 2015 by hotrod
	the last strand of gum. (Preview) Well the fan is hit. I decided to finalise the seperation by moving things to a more formal process. We had been doing an arrangement where the ah would come for weekends or when he was feeling down. For my part, I was hoping we could move into a friend ship type role, but I must have been having some kind of f...	a4l	7	788	May 9, 2015 by el-cee
	Today I told my 7 year old that her daddy wouldn't be living with us anymore. (Preview) My daughter started screaming in pain at the loss of her step daddy. This disease is beyond not fair. I dragged my daughter into loving a bipolar alcoholic and all I have is tears for the life we should have had- compared to what we ended up with. I can pretend that this is not a reality and I can pretend that...	Helpangel	9	642	May 8, 2015 by ntd2001
	Powerlessness is not the problem powerlessness weakness step 1 (Preview) There is a reading in one of the daily readers that includes this concept; It isn't my powerlessness that is the problem. It's the idea that i should have power that's the problem. I cannot find this reading. Can someone help? I have learned in 4th and 5th step work that it is my job to focus on what is, not w...	PhilB	2	816	May 8, 2015 by ntd2001
	The weekend (Preview) I hate the weekend. I love to not have to work...but the weekends are when either 1)my weekend is absorbed with AH getting wasted and doing whatever he wants until Sunday when he apologizes or 2)he isn't drinking, like now, but he is so irritable and annoyed that he can't drink that everything is an issu...	butterfly88	3	532	May 8, 2015 by a4l
	1st time here....don't understand 12 step (Al-Anon (Preview) I've seen the stickies but I guess I'm thick headed.	worried Mom	7	589	May 8, 2015 by ntd2001
	Am I to blame??? (Preview) Just found y'all yesterday... went to last nights 9:00 meeting, been reading these posts.....I have an A daughter who admits she's an A, she's married to an A who doesn't admit it. I let her call me all hours of the night and listen to her drunk ramblings. Nothing makes sense. I get the feeling from posts...	worried Mom	5	776	May 8, 2015 by Mike B
	control, God's Grace and Mercy (Preview) I've been thinking about the correlation between God's grace and mercy and a sense of entitlement. Since God's Grace is him giving us things we don't deserve and his Mercy is him not giving us what we do deserve. In social service work I see clients who determine in their own mind (and are taught by the s...	glad	1	621	May 8, 2015 by hotrod
	ODAT 5-8 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 8 speaks about the gifts that are offered to us by practicing the Al-Anon program. It points out that *"freedom* "is one of the gifts that we receive. When we come to Al-Anon we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair and by working the program we are be able to re...	hotrod	0	282	May 8, 2015 by hotrod
	missing my son (Preview) Good Morning all Today is the 8th anniversary of my son's passing from this disease I miss him every moment of every day.	hotrod	31	1012	May 7, 2015 by Truth
	Some Improvement (Preview) Since I came on these I'm beginning to notice some improvement, mainly in my thinking. I'm so tightly wound with anxiety but I feel the rope loosening around me. I'm putting a lot of emphasis on letting my HP's will be done and not mine. I am allowing myself to do more things that I'd usually refrain from i...	Hillyard	5	333	May 7, 2015 by Hillyard
	To trust him or not to trust him.. (Preview) Hi everyone.. I'm new to the forum but I have been popping in and out for around 5 years now. Just to fill you in abit... I met my husband in 2008 married in 2011 he is 47 and I am 28.. we have 2 young children who are 8 (his step daughter) and our boy is 2. He moved in with me in 2010, I knew he had a drinking problem...	bells28	4	706	May 7, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	My story (Preview) I just need to get this out there. It's been so long of up and down. I know my story is probably not as severe as others, but to me...it is an endless cycle that seems to be stealing everything I am away from me. I have been married to my husband for 14 years. When he isn't drinking and when he isn't depresse...	butterfly88	14	759	May 7, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Yep. it's about time I return to my Program...I deserve it (Preview) It is with a lot of guilt that I come back to the Al-Anon board. Guilt that I have been gone for so long and guilt because I was so cocky that I felt as though I no longer needed to come here and my f2f meetings. I am back to both and just as crazy as I was when I first showed up here to the board. I am aware enough to kn...	wildthang86	6	797	May 7, 2015 by ntd2001
	My Story/need an outside opinion (Preview) I am new to this. I am getting ready to marry the man i love. He is an alcoholic. I knew this from the start and about his past. I know he has gotten help before and then started drinking again. He has never hit me or been verbaly abusive. I came home one day and he had been drinking after getting some bad news no...	irishwife	7	1446	May 7, 2015 by irishwife
	Need Help... (Preview) So, here we go again. My AW is mad because I'm not responding the way she wants me to regarding a situation. She wants me to feel passionate about something and I do but not the way she would like. I tried to listen an be supportive but it wasn't good enough. I tried to reiterate that I do care I just don't resp...	Hillyard	5	566	May 7, 2015 by andromeda
	Needing to start somewhere. Any advice would be greatly appreciated :) (Preview) Good evening everyone, I am writing here because I am not sure how to deal with my mothers alcoholism anymore and I am wanting to find some advice from people that have been in a similar situation. From a little girl, around the age of six, I have grown up with this crazy and emotionally tolling world that...	JAH91	6	711	May 7, 2015 by Tracy
	The addict throwing everything at me but the kitchen sink (Preview) It has been such an awful couple of weeks. Two of my dear friends have passed away, financial stress and taxes and now last night after my friend's service my AB and I stopped by his office to drop off the bike and there on his desk was a razor blade. I stared in disbelief for half a second then picked it up,...	GreenerGal	10	782	May 7, 2015 by GreenerGal
	There I got myself good that time... (Preview) That is a statement taught to me by my early sponsor after I realize in my stubbornness that I have attempted to control outcomes and came up battered and bruised. That sponsor is gone now however the lesson is fresh, loud and clear. My wife exercised caring for me leaving me a list of 10 suggestions wh...	Jerry F	5	603	May 7, 2015 by Jill
	Controlling CoaA/A (Preview) I have in my recovery process two years ago realized that I am a codependent and that looking back at my parent's relationship, that's exactly what it was. But I did not grow up with alcohol. It was only when I got married that I realized the problem I inherited from my parents. I think the most glaringly o...	gabigail	7	641	May 7, 2015 by maryjane
	C2C 5-7 (Preview) This. C2C reading for 5-7 speaks about alcoholism being a disease. It points out that once we truly accept that alcoholism this important fact, we are set free from trying to control it or be angry with the alcoholic. We can then turn our attention to our own recovery. This recovery is crucial to our o...	hotrod	0	367	May 7, 2015 by hotrod
	Feeling guilty/responsible and I SHOULDNT. (Preview) I took my husbands car off of our insurance. I have reasons to believe he has driven drunk a couple times (even though he just got a DUI). I told him a few weeks ago that if he continued to do so, I would remove him from the insurance and he would have to take the bus to work. Well, I FOLLOWED THROUGH, which I...	Bloodshotbetty	3	585	May 7, 2015 by hotrod
	my alcoholic husband is becoming his father (Preview) I've mentioned that my alcoholic father in law has dementia. But he's now 82 years old. My husband who is 55 is showing signs of what I'll call forgetfulness since he hasn't been to a dr. to be diagnosed. He forgets that I've told him things but gets mad when something happens and he'll say "why did...	pixie	4	671	May 7, 2015 by pixie
	feedback please...was it controlling or setting a boundary? (Preview) Need some feedback pleaseâ¦Iâm not sure if my reaction/response to something my AH does when heâs been drinking borders on controlling/lack of acceptance (step 1) or if I am setting a true boundary.Â He claimed two weeks ago that he had hit his bottom and swore to all (his family, me, his job) that he...	Hopefull15	7	685	May 6, 2015 by Hopefull15
	C2C 5-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for may six talks about Step 5, which asked that we, admit to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. The reading goes on to point out that many of us are intimidated by this step because it means revealing our darkest secrets. These secrets we kept in our...	hotrod	4	657	May 6, 2015 by Debb
	On a brighter note. (Preview) A local shopping centre is running a Mothers Day competition where the grand prize is 2 tickets to Elton John. Oh yes please, my mum and I are both big fans. The competition asks that you write 25 words about why your mum is special. So I decided to tell my mother about the competition and asked her what she...	missmeliss	4	550	May 6, 2015 by Hillyard
	Listen & Learn (Preview) After reading the "Hope for Today, May 5" I went to read the slogans and I realized I think the best slogan for this new path in my life will be Listen & Learn. I am new to Al-Anon and am very excited to be able to participate in the online forum, as it is what makes me feel most comfortable. I wa...	dee88	7	956	May 6, 2015 by Skorpi
	Here and now (Preview) So I really want to change my actions and my thinking when it comes to my AH and our family...I'm planning to go through all of the steps and to attend meetings (as soon as I find my nerve), but in the meantime, I need something to give me strength for where I am right now. So his family has known he's gone th...	butterfly88	5	679	May 6, 2015 by Mike B
	How to know HP's will? (Preview) I am currently working step 3, for several weeks now. I pray every night for God's will and the power to carry that out. But I cannot seem to figure out what God's will for me is. I am so so caught up in the confusion and subterfuge of this disease (married to an A and his two 20 something kids who live with us ar...	Irish7	10	646	May 5, 2015 by Irish7
	Turning to al-anon because I no longer know what to do. Please help. (Preview) I really need advice. I am turning to al-anon because I find no one understands the situation I am in and it is so easy for them to say to cut my losses and leave. I am in love with a man who has an alcohol problem. When we first met we both used to drink together all the time and at first it was fun but then it turne...	bc5913	5	666	May 5, 2015 by pinkchip
	My mother's keeper (Preview) I am a new member. I am having a difficult time with balancing "being a goood daughter" and setting boundaries. I have been living with this issue my entire life, I guess I'm tired (46 yrs). I have always been the adult. I recently found out that my mom started drinking again. I really wa...	Gah2010	6	680	May 5, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Hope for Today May 5 (Preview) Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about the slogans--their simplicity, their helpfulness, the way they can help keep us going in our right direction. In the first paragraph the writer makes the point that initially he thought the slogans were trite, over simplified, and was skeptical a...	yanksfan51	5	569	May 5, 2015 by Mike B
	Long distance texting support (Preview) Anyone interested in this? I am a texter and the more support the better, right? PM me- especially if you are a night owl! I seem to do my worst/obsessive thinking at that time. (I do face to face meetings at well, so this isnt my only means of support :)	Bloodshotbetty	0	365	May 5, 2015 by Bloodshotbetty
	Not dry drunk but bipolar!! (Preview) Hi everyone! My ah was able to make it 4 months without drinking and then he slipped. I told him it isn't the slip but how he acts that is what I have problems with. The dry drunk came back with a vengeance and the mood swings it was one day of slippage and his moods went south he mentioned that he might be bipol...	Helpangel	11	2488	May 4, 2015 by Jerry F
	Concept 1 - (Preview) -The Ultimate Responsibility and Authority for Alanon World Services Belongs to the Alanon Groups - Something that has helped me a great deal in my own recovery and given me a great perspective on how to look at my recovery differently are the Concepts. Which very honestly after Steps and Traditio...	SerenityRUS	1	3396	May 4, 2015 by hotrod
	You're Only as Sick as Your Secrets. (Preview) I've been marvelling over the whole "you're only as sick as your secrets" thing today. I know that years ago, when my daughter was a toddler and her father had recently left, I was at the library one day for story hour and I left her on a bean-bag with a bunch of happy little kids and asked a mum if...	missmeliss	13	925	May 4, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Letting go... (Preview) I'm having a conflict right now and I'm not sure what to do. I have a hobby that I really enjoy that I have been involved in for over 23 years and I am thinking of letting it go. Right now it is really the only form of socializing that I do as it involved three other guys, one of whom is a good friend. I keep prayin...	Hillyard	12	639	May 4, 2015 by el-cee
	T.I.M.E. (Preview) At an open AA meeting tonight, the speaker mentioned an AA saying that I just loved:time stand for "things I must earn". Wow, that hits home. ive only been in al anon for 5 months, and I'm working hard on me. My attitude reflects the progress. this week I started to wonder why some relationshi...	Irish7	6	473	May 4, 2015 by Mike B
	Hold my hand please... AH returns to work today (Preview) I am a nervous wreck. My AH who was arrested on 1/5/15 and has been doing rehab (and thankfully is still sober) returns to the job he hates this morning. Normally I would have stayed home and made sure he was up and moving... NOT my circus not my monkeys... The best i did was wake him to make sure he got his...	ladybugnessa	15	653	May 4, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	todays odat (Preview) Gives me chills. Sticks in my mind. Its all about a man who loses his wife but goes on to speak at ameeting. He tells the story of a woman who gets a knock at the door during ww2. The man who has knocked her door arrives to tell her her husband has died, she guesses this and invites the man in for tea. He is amazed...	el-cee	13	695	May 4, 2015 by Jerry F
	Last night... (Preview) My wife had a few drinks. She was fine until she went out with our 18 year old daughter to get a pie at the store. My daughter drove. An argument for no reason occurred and my wife became nasty and obscene. They came home. My wife corners my daughter doing the whole arguing nonsense. I enter the room she tell...	Hillyard	14	724	May 4, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Boundary (Preview) Nothing has really changed with AD. The usual A behaviours that you are all familiar with. Incredibly heartbreaking and stressful but slowly I am getting more realistic and not reacting as much nor pleading, lecturing etc. It is however the absolutely most difficult thing I have endured. I h...	serenity47	7	460	May 4, 2015 by serenity47
	we are enlightened!!!! (Preview) The odat today asks us to consider everything being a gift from God of our understanding , everything. We might not like things not turning out our way, we are disappointed and rebel against unhappiness, fighting against the truth of our situation. We might think God of our understanding is punishin...	el-cee	3	404	May 4, 2015 by Mike B
	BBQ yesterday evening (Preview) So, my family went over to meet the neighbors last night. Very nice people but lots of beer. My AW only had 1 or 2 glasses of wine so that was pleasant. It's strange how dominant alcohol is in everything we do in this culture. They had a young adult son in his mid 20s and that's all he was doing, pounding down b...	Hillyard	2	396	May 4, 2015 by Mike B
	My cure for fear was an alcoholic (Preview) When I think back to what led me to get together and stay for years with an active alcoholic I am coming to see that I'm kind of back in that stage of my life again. I'm living life pretty full on, or my own interpretation of that, taking some chances lately, working hard on myself and the rewards are coming....	el-cee	8	683	May 4, 2015 by el-cee
	Completely Frustrated with Myself (Preview) Hi, I am in program about 18 months. I have seen improvement with the way I deal with my reactions to others and less angry response. However, I am not seeing progress and I have asked God for help, guidance. directions in one area of my life I am really struggling with and feeling awful because I am see...	Constant inner battle	5	616	May 3, 2015 by Mirandac
	My SO is a recovering alcoholic. I need advice. (Preview) My girlfriend is a recovering alcoholic and doing very well in her sobriety. She is 2 years, almost 3 sober. We met at work. I pursued her. We've been dating for almost 3months. I'm her first sober relationship. I have absolutely no idea how to deal with her. Ive set boundaries and made it known what I wil...	Lnicole	5	535	May 3, 2015 by Constant inner battle
	Newbie here.....cool place....but have a question. (Preview) My adult son has been seeing a therapist and I believe he has been successfully keeping his alcohol abuse from the therapists knowledge. (He's is very creative.) Is it ethical to make his therapist aware of it? Would it be detrimental if my son finds out that I ratted on him? -- Edited by bbqbrisket on Su...	bbqbrisket	4	516	May 3, 2015 by hotrod
	Still trying to control (Preview) I find it very interesting that my XAH is still trying to manage my time even though it's been what .. 3 years? My poor kiddos, .. they get so tired of answering his bizzaro questions about what I'm doing. There is a total reason I have a no contact clause in the divorce decree. Last visitation which kee...	SerenityRUS	0	479	May 3, 2015 by SerenityRUS
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