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Well, for a start my grandmother isn't speaking to me.....last night she articulated one of her extremely forceful political opinions, and in my usual style I said "Fair enough, perhaps that's right" but on this occasion she wasn't content with that and she demanded to know "Why, what do YOU think?" and I said "I'd rather not discuss my views on this" to which she responded with "Oh so I suppose you are one of those bleeding hearts who thinks blahblahblahblahblah" to which I responded again, politely, "I'm prefer to keep my opinion on the subject private actually" which resulted in her angrily saying 'You're a fool, Melissa" and hanging up. Not the friendly pleasant chat with grandma I had hoped for but oh well, I had forgotten about it by this morning, she had not. There are no options in that kind of conversation, other than lie and agree to keep the peace (no thanks) or disagree which would end up with her furious and then in tears. No thanks to that either. Still, ugh, and double ugh that she is now giving me the silent treatment and that makes me feel pretty sad. It's been a few years since I was "A Fool Melissa". In fact, if I think about it, that would have been the last time I dared challenge her political views.
Gah. The during a friendly conversation with my mother, I mentioned daughter's winter school skirt which I had purchased for her. It was not the one my mother thought she should have. (Oh well?) She went beserk at me, and it took me by surprise because it's been friendly between us for ages. After being told I was "stupid" and "wasting good money" and "she told me to get the other one and she would pay for it" I attempted to say "OK I think we should agree to disagree" and she responded by yelling at me some more and then hanging up. It was bizarre and upsetting and made no sense at all. I took the dog for a night time walk and reminded myself that i knew there would be repercussions to accepting financial help, and now, I just have to turn it over and get on with doing the next right thing...
I also checked to see if the moon was full because, huh?? What's WRONG with everyone today? lol.
-- Edited by missmeliss on Thursday 30th of April 2015 02:36:22 AM
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Melly, if you keep using your tools, you may become the strongest person that lived, because you have had to deal with some pretty crazy FOO issues! I don't know whether they never grew up, or are all bipolar, orboth. Unfair statement from me, living thousands of miles away, but from your description, that's the way it seems. Good job keeping you buttons from being pushed!
Heavy duty plunger on the toilet and you will discover that that was the easiest problem you had to deal with today!
I hope the counseling works out. When we were going to a substance abuse counselor it was great, she would see right through BS and call us on it. There was always plenty of BS to go around from husband and wife in my marriage.
((((Mel)))) I learned to call these events "growth spurts" and my sponsor use to say "What ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" Whoa scary one. He also told me that I was going to have to separate my self from all things alcohol and having faith in him I separated from my whole family and my alcoholic/addict wife. I cried over the wife and not the family. My family, because I guess they see themselves as more endowed by blood make allowances and use inherent permissions to be disrespectful on many levels. The don't use that short period of time necessary to consider the "you" in the situation and so they diminish and/or devalue you sometimes often. Al-Anon is/was so much about helping me to learn how to take my value back and then increase it. You done good with your Mom and Grandmother and keep in mind that in t hat group you are the only one in recovery. Tough and good. (((((hugs)))))
Thanks for the validation Jerry, I do feel alright, and you are right, in that group I am the only one in recovery. Hell or high water, I want better for me.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Yes, I can relate to this one and you handled it spectacular using your tools and not getting sucked in! I have so many boundaries with my FOO to keep them from triggering and like Jerry F had had to remove them for the most part, they are my blood, but untreated and caused me enough grief for this life time. It is hard on my own, but I hvae made some very good relationships and am bettering myself for my girls future. I love hearing about your journey, you are making great strides. I wish you lived closer! Sending you lots of love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
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" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
