The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am a nervous wreck. My AH who was arrested on 1/5/15 and has been doing rehab (and thankfully is still sober) returns to the job he hates this morning. Normally I would have stayed home and made sure he was up and moving... NOT my circus not my monkeys... The best i did was wake him to make sure he got his shower and shave last night. (he fell asleep from new muscle relaxers)....
His normal routine was to get up and go to work. He then would come home and commence drinking again (and yes he would go to work drunk after an all night bender) The office knows he was in rehab for alcohol so it's not a secret but I'm worried that today is the first day of the real test.
I know I'm worrying about something that I have no control over and may not happen.
doesn't make it easier for me.
or him.
just venting.
__________________
-- ladybug
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
Hugs ladybug!
The good news is, no matter what he does, you have a heap of new tools to get you through it.
I found the times when my A was on the wagon and working a job the hardest of all because I never knew if I should be happy and positive about our future or preparing myself for another fall.
If you're a nervous wreck, then your HP is telling you something...can you clear your mind and hear what it is? When I feel like that I try to be in the moment, not this morning, not this evening but right now,. clarity usually follows
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Hey LB, nice progress on taking care of you and letting him take care of himself. Let Go and Let God! He's got this covered. Bring your thoughts back to YOU. You're okay today, no matter what happens. In support!
Neither here not there Lady, but I left the job I hated so much at about a year and a half into sobriety. I think the AA program made me less fearful to finally go after all the things in life I wanted. I hope that is his journey and yours too. (Not that he quits the job right away - but that he figures out what to do to make him happy without sabotaging/relapsing).
Pinkchip, he hates this job and he was hoping to be fired (as long as he has unemployment we can make the bills) but it seems they are not happy with his temp replacement and are excited to have him back. He knows that I support him looking for a new job when he's ready.
I sent him a text to say "have a good day" I won't call him and won't know anything till I get home. I did go to a new meeting yesterday morning that helped.
I may find a meeting tonight if I'm stressing.
__________________
-- ladybug
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
I also hated it a bit less when I practiced the "AA attitude of gratitude" and also when I wasn't going in hungover all the time. But I still needed a change. I needed to move up and on in my career.
Loving thoughts your way ladybug! You have
Done your part now hopefully he can do his.
Keep taking care of you no matter what he
does or doesnt do.
In support of you! I know how you feel i could
Go to a meeting a day right about now to get
Me thru my emotional distress. It really is in
Gods Hands not mine. I am truly powerless
over My ah and his behaviors, thoughts and
actions.
Ladybug your post is a teaching moment about the enablers role in the disease. I needed to learn it when I was new into the program. It is absolutely amazing to me that when my alcoholic/addict was left to her responsibilities such as going to work and not drinking I fritzed badly. I got so anxious that she would not be responsible which helped me face "my part in it". She was my addiction and I needed to "do" her. Thank you Al-Anon for the awareness to change the thing I could...me. ((((hugs))))
Well I emailed him something that I wanted him to have... NOT time dependent and NOT requiring a reply.
He replied in his typical snarky way (it was not a big deal)
however I used my tools and although he is wrong, I don't want to get into it with him (it's food related and he's upset that I"m detoxing from wheat and sugar and have discovered I'm "allergic" to wheat it brings on all sorts of inflammation in my body and I feel much better with out it.)
anyway his snarky comment was just snarky (and wrong) but I did not want to get into it with him he was trying to be cute. (he doesn't do humor well)
so I said in my reply "you may be right"
and I let it go.
He's not right... but he may be right in some alternate universe... just not mine.
and it's good to know he's feeling good enough to send me snarky humor intended retorts.
__________________
-- ladybug
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
