The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am currently working step 3, for several weeks now. I pray every night for God's will and the power to carry that out. But I cannot seem to figure out what God's will for me is. I am so so caught up in the confusion and subterfuge of this disease (married to an A and his two 20 something kids who live with us are As also) that I practically need God to send me a notarized letter with his will or use a sky writer to tell me what it is. This is going to sound crazy but recently I also consulted a bona fide psychic (friend of a friend), hoping for some enlightenment. While some of the things she told me were helpful and a few were even healing, I still don't know what God wants for me. I feel so stupid; I normally have a decently developed 6th sense, but in this I am at a total loss. how do you learn of God's will in your own life?
When I had t hat question I listened with an open mind in the rooms especially to those who had similar spiritual experiences as I did. I had learned about God's will when I was a child and then lost focus of it. I ended going back to that part of the new testament where the son of God speaks to the will of God and the name of God. "God is Love and the will of God is to love God with your whole mind, heart and soul and your neighbor...as yourself. In the disease I had not ever considered the "as yourself" suggestion until I met our fellowship and they taught me (along with my counselor) about "self" love...what it meant, what it felt like and how to do it. I learned the definition I have for love from inside the program also and I hold it close to me on a daily basis. "Love is the complete and total acceptance of every other human being for exactly who they are" That definition includes me doesn't it and I accept it as my Higher Power's will for me and for others...nothing else has worked so well for me ever. (((hugs)))
I don't think that sounds crazy but then again, I'm crazy lol. I read cards, I figure if the meanings are coming from in me then its stuff I can't figure out consciously anyway. For me, when I read my own it's a cool way to get in touch with that knowing deep inside that I can't hear when I try and try and try to listen. Totally recommend learning some kind of divination as a form of meditation and self-knowing.
That aside I do believe the harder we try to figure out our HP's will for us, the more lost and confused we get. Answers come (for me) when I let GO and just focus on the simple stuff, one next right thing after another, and try to keep my thoughts in the right now. Sure enough clarity always dawns when I do this and it's a calm clarity, not a "oh no have I made the right decision what if ooooh" kind of clarity. It's good. Totally recommend that too
(((Irish)))
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I am struggling with this right now, too. I have consulted an attorney about divorcing my AH but am not sure if this is HPs will or not. I have been asking HP to show me his will daily, but am not sure what it is, except that I still have this unbelievable urge to get out. I think the previous poster was right about asking to be in HPs will, and just keep taking your next best step. I ask HP to make my heart ache for whatever his will is. I just keep aching to be free. My problem is that for 15 years, I have always assumed that HPs will was for me to "save" my AH, but I now know that I cannot do this. I might even be in his way because of my codependent, enabling behavior.
I feel like HP is asking me to wait and is telling me that he will reveal all in due time. I have a friend that prays to see the truth with clear eyes, and to remove people from her life that don't belong there. It seems to be working for her, and I have begun to ask these things as well.
Great responses to this powerful question. I say the third step prayer each morning, use my Al-Anon tools such as the Steps, the slogans, pray and meditate and believe that I will hear the still small voice within which will direct my steps.
When I was living in the middle of active alcoholism, I would do the same and trust that by using the Al-Anon tools I was doing. HP's will.
My sponsor would tell me that HP does not speak in code so that if I really listened to the small voice within not the loud screaming voices within I would hear. There was a time, the small voice kept urging me to take action and leave, but I kept staying , attempting to figure it out s that I could endure, make it work, but the voices became more insistent and the pain become sharper. Pain was my great motivator.
Just keep putting 1 foot in front of the other and more will be revealed
Irish7, for me, the clear grasp of that the disease of alcholism is not within my control at all and that I am not the reason or the cause for it is the first important step. The next for me was with that knowledge, that the disease is not my own, that gave me the serenity I needed for more understanding and empathy for those who have the disease. This in turn opened up my heart to the steps to becoming a better person and opened my eyes to the life and world around me so that I could love myself and others as well. Once I did that, the steps became so easy and as I moved through the steps Gods will became very apparent to me.
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
I think some of it is going in the direction of your fears and then seeing the results. At that point you will question "Why didn't I do that sooner?" Then you will realize that God may have been leading you in that direction, but you were scared. At least that is how it's been for me. For me, God's will for me is usually relatively apparent once I deal with the fears I have of doing the things that I pretty much know I need to do anyhow.
Very good question and one that's asked a lot! God's will is for each of us is to live happy, joyous and free. The problem is we have blockage between us and God. Steps 4-9 identifies and removes the blockage. We surrender the need to control people, places and things in our life and start caring for our self. Living in the present moment. When our house is in order, we'll be in a better position to allow God to work through us. Doing for us, which we can't do for ourself. We'll now be able to see God working in our life.
The completion of the Steps brings us toward this goal. After the first nine, The Promises start to materialize. Step 10 states: much has been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. To some extent we have become God-conscious. We have begun to develop this vital sixthsense. But we must go further and that means more action. Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation to improve our conscience contact with God as we understand God.
My Sponsor taught me if I'm working The Program, the rest of my life is none of my business. Simple, but hard.... but very powerful............
I would also love a notarized letter these days :) I like the idea of meeting God half way, leaning into my fear of the unknown and knowing that faith will catch me if I fall. I also think that God's will is sometimes to just have me be still and focus on Him. "Be still and know that I am God" is something I remind myself of often. If I'm busy with worry and anxiety and thoughts that don't let me sleep - then clearly I am not busy being still and trusting Him. Often being still is the first step to being able to hear Him.
Thank you, all, for sharing your e/s/h. I will keep doing the next right thing, including starting step 4 next week. Ironically enough, not long after I wrote my original post, I said my prayers, including the third step prayer (my favorite), and received the message to be patient, that a Gods will will be revealed to me in time.
Mel, how cool that you read cards. I used to do it, but my ex AH tossed them as anti Catholic, and I never picked it back up. I saw a medium this time around, and it was powerful. My deceased father was present, and it was able to make an amends to him (albeit premature, since I'm only on step 4!) and received some very healing communication from him. An unknown person was present with a short message that I will find a Gods will out in nature. I never told the medium I was there or who I hoped to hear from. My current AHs first wife was also present and clarified a lot of the family situation. She was so kind.
I probably sound crazy, but that's one of the requirements for AL Anon newbies isn't it
