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My adult son has been seeing a therapist and I believe he has been successfully keeping his alcohol abuse from the therapists knowledge. (He's is very creative.)
Is it ethical to make his therapist aware of it? Would it be detrimental if my son finds out that I ratted on him?
-- Edited by bbqbrisket on Sunday 3rd of May 2015 02:25:46 PM
Glad you have found us. There is much wisdom and support here.
Al-Anon teaches not to cause a crisis, nor to prevent one from happening. You may also know the Three C's about alcoholism: You didn't Cause it, you can't Cure it, you can't Control it.
If your son is not telling the therapist about his drinking, he's not ready or willing to tackle the drinking. Unfortunately there's no way anyone outside him can induce him to be ready. The therapist could not even if the therapist knew. (And the therapist may know. A good therapist will pick up on clues even if the drinker thinks he's keeping it all hidden.) But confronting, persuading, arguing, explaining, coaxing, analyzing - none of these things will make the drinker willing to stop.
If he's not tackling the drinking, there's a limit to what he can accomplish in therapy. So if he's eager to accomplish more in therapy, your son will know what he needs to do. But it will happen on his own time scale, unfortunately, not on anyone else's.
No one should have to deal with a family member affected by drinking alone. Do you have an Al-Anon group or meeting? They are an invaluable support. Look in the White Pages if you haven't found one. I hope you'll keep coming back here too.
Welcome I do believe in the USA that The H I P PA regulations would prevent his therapist from sharing any information about his medical treatment with you.
I believe that breaking his trust, and going to the therapist in an attempt to to "tell on him"would be a true breach of confidentiality. As has had been suggested, I would examine my motives for wanting to do so and refrain from interfering in his recovery.
Minding my own business and staying in my own life has been a true gift of this program. Detachment from the alcoholic is extremely important. HP is in control and I had to learn to trust the process.
Please search out Al-Anon face-to-face meetings and attend. You are not alone
