Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Debb · Debb

Have a wonderful day everyone.

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T for October 18 asks that we take the time to consider some intangibles. It points out that attitudes are conveyed to other people by what we say and do and how we say it .--- If our attitudes truly reflect what we feel. Gentle actions and soft courteous words may only be counterfeit to the way w...

carolm · carolm

I hope that I don't offend anyone by saying that it's SO much harder to "let go", to stop trying to control, come up with solutions and "fix" the addicted person when that person is a beloved child. My husband suffered for many years with alcohol/drug problems. He's doing well no...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hey everyone! Today is my 6th wedding anniversary to my AH. It is very interesting to me that he can remember all the fellowship friends sobriety dates, he can remember to suit up, show up and take care of business when it comes to helping others, yet he cannot seem to remember this or anything like my bda...

serenity47 · serenity47

Can anyone tell me how to read older messages. I have entered various topics in the search bar and it will bring them up and sometimes show that the poster has psoted for example 300 topics but I am only able to see one page and cant seem to get to the rest?

Debb · Debb

I will take every opportunity to be courteous to those nearest me, as well as those outside my orbit. The warmth and kindness of courtesy will take the sting out of resentments, and give dignity and importance to the members of my household, making them feel secure and loved. "Courtesy makes a l...

hotrod · hotrod

ODA T reading for October 17 speaks about the principles of the 12 steps. It then. identifies the Steps as a body of spiritual wisdom that unfolds and expands our understanding slowly as we continue to practice the principles of each , The reading goes on to say that there is one Step that shoul...

beacheemom · beacheemom

I am mad. Really really mad. AH left once again to go on a second fishing trip for 6 days.... not to mention just this last weekend he spent golfing both Saturday and Sunday, as well as every weekend before that. I am DONE. I have an AH that would RATHER be away from me and our kids. He has never said that but...

Debb · Debb

I have no room for resentment in my new Al-Anon way of life. I will not fight it with grim determination, but will reason it out of existence by calmly uncovering its cause. An Al-Anon member wrote: "The best antidote for resentment is the continual practice of gratitude." "Nothin...

glad · glad

ok, so my life continues to resemble living with the alcoholic boyfriend at times even though we have been done for more than 5 years and I've moved on to a much nicer life, so it's gotta be me at least in part. the only alcoholic player that I know of in the current situation is my brother he also takes a lot...

kramsnah · kramsnah

Addicted to Al anon? I was wondering how people feel about overdoing this program. I know that I will be told that a person should and will do as much as he or she sees fit to get to sanity. If that means 6 meetings a week and reading every day and talking to others 3 times a day than it's a "good"...

Skorpi · Skorpi

AW was released from jail this morning, and I met her for coffee. She will be staying with her mom for the next year or two. (Of course, she hopes to be "home" as often as possible, while I hope that her probation officer will not allow this.) It was very clear to me that we are not in agreement abo...

mericose · mericose

Good Morning, I'm hoping to get feedback on a situation from last night. I recently started attending AA meetings (have been to 3 so far) with the hopes of finding a group where I feel comfortable and connect. Last night's meeting was from 8pm - 9pm and went well. I left at around 9:15 and on my way hom...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for October 16 speaks about Al-Anon being a fellowship of equals. When we determine to attend meetings with an open mind we soon discover that the person that we may see as less recovered, may surprises us and say something with great spiritual insight so that the statement reac...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

I know it is just an 'off' day,I am not feeling well,the weather is crappy,and frankly,I just feel tired from all the work,time and effort I have to put in on a daily basis just to keep my sanity and some sense of serenity.

KT2015 · KT2015

Hi All, I have been reading the board for a while. I thought I would start posting. I have been attending F2F Al anon meetings for a couple of months now. I feel like I am just getting my feet wet. I have been married to my AH for 11 years. My father and step mother are active alcoholics and my step fathe...

mericose · mericose

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I'm grateful to have found this site as I wasn't sure where to turn. After a lifetime of bad decisions, embarrassing incidents and too many blackout nights, I decided to stop drinking. This was 2.5 years ago. I didn't leverage any program or rehab, I jus...

hotrod · hotrod

Good morning all,The ODA T reading for today, October 15 speaks about the importance of not giving advice a to each other or to newcomers. It offers examples of the new person entering the rooms, needing to share their confusion, anger and resentment about living with the disease of alcoholism....

LostInThought · LostInThought

October is the anniversary of a lot of things in my alcoholic life. It marks the worst my abuse ever was with my father, as well as when it all ended. It marks the start of the relationship that finally took me away from it all. This year I began speaking to my father again. I don't allow alcohol as a part of th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I really get why we call ourselves miracles in progress. We all have ways to go & will never arrive. It takes a miracle that we find this & F2F meetings. I never knew so much support from "strangers". We are NOT strangers but all apart of a family. No matter how long or how much I pray I wi...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety and started having panic attacks,again.It has been a while since I have had them.I started thinking about loss and grief and it does make sense that anxiety would be one of the stages.Although it isn't listed on the stages of grief,I did some research and most p...

Debb · Debb

Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter to us whether it is returned or not. If I give it only to get a response on my terms, my love is cancelled out. If I have the capacity to give love, any return I get for it is a special bonus. It is through giving love, freely and without expectation of r...

jodiee34 · jodiee34

I really hate this disease. I had become comfortable in the sober world. 1 year, 2 years, 3 years.... I thought she had this thing under control. But no. Yesterday I got the call that she was at the bar. Had been drinking for 3 days. Now today. Sober again. And all she can do is cry. What a waste she says. What...

a4l · a4l

More counselling. Grief is a strange thing. Buried grief resurfacing. It sounds as if you have accepted your loss. I just dont know if acceptance is the right word. It seems to me that when we cant physically hold the ones we love, letting go of all the pain and hurt is really difficult because somehow th...

Optimist · Optimist

Every night is the same. I sleep only a couple of hours and then my mind starts racing. What am I missing? What could I say? Do? What would turn my son's situation around? How much worse is it going to get? Do I kick him out? Would that help him hit his bottom or would I lose him? I've been sitting here rea...

serenity47 · serenity47

My AD is in a down ward spiral again. Another job loss which came as no surprise. I am trying to reframe it in my mind as one step closer to her bottom. I don't know. I do know I am struggling a lot today. Her solution is to relocate again with a "fresh" start. I believe where ever you go there...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I don't debate about how the disease that brought us together is classified and am posting this for informational purposes only. I am one who wants to keep understanding all I can about the disease so I can 'battle it accordingly'.... (((Hugs))) to the MIP Family!! http://www.nbcnews.com/id/441...

BuccaneerGirl · BuccaneerGirl

Hi there, I have been dealing with a situation and would like some input, if you're up for it! AH and I went to a sporting event out of town. AH got hammered and he is a very angry, obnoxious drunk but his behavior is mainly directed at me. Short story without going into too much detail was later in the evenin...

mericose · mericose

In an effort to save our marriage, I've arranged an appointment with a marriage therapist. My wife is completely against therapy (she had a bad experience with her ex) but she reluctantly agreed to go. The appointment is this Friday. Over the past few days, my wife has been what I can only call, &quo...

hotrod · hotrod

I really loved today's reading in the ODAT. It speaks about how much recovery , growth and satisfaction can be gained by sharing in an Al-Anon group (or on the MIP Message Board). ,The sharing can be by giving of our time by serving as chairperson, treasurer, literature person, and by giving of ourse...

Debb · Debb

Regrets for hurtful things I have done to others may be healed by making amends as well as I can. Regrets for missed opportunities will vanish as I try to make wise choices today. Let me fill this day with thoughts and actions I will have no need to regret. Let me undertake only as much as I can accomplish we...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The quote is: "You don't help anyone by trying to impress them; you impress someone when you try to help them." I got this from The Program.

oceanpine · oceanpine

Wondering if anyone has experience to share about breathalyzers installed in cars, especially in a preventative way (not ordered by the court)? Trying to figure out if it is realistic to insist my AH have one installed in his car. He has driven with the kids, and I don't want to play policeman. Right n...

Optimist · Optimist

My son drinks every day. He can never stop at one. He kicked a fentanyl addiction last December with the help of intensive (and very expensive) rehab and sees the alcohol as nothing compared to that. He isn't financially able to be on his own. He's 23. He works full-time. I'm struggling to figure...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

As I sit here typing this I realize just how much of a mess my life has become. I am writing to a message board of people I don't know because at this point in my life I am running on empty....my friends are few, my confidants fewer and my family - well to bring them into this would only cause me anguish.If you...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

I thought that I have been doing all the 'right' things,I do my daily readings,I come here and read on a regular basis,I attend f2f meetings,attend some of the ones here,reach out to others in my group,let go and let God,mind my own business,work the steps,do everything in my power to work my program to...

Mermaid4 · Mermaid4

Is there a post or somewhere in the bios where members here have indicated if they are open to being a sponsor? I still haven't found someone to ask at face to face meetings and feel like I'm spinning in circles with the literature and meetings, but not putting anything into action. Thank you all for be...

sookie · sookie

Looking for anyone's experiences with having to deal with problems with visitation. My daughter doesn't feel comfortable with her father (she is 11 and has a younger sister, 7) Today she called me and asked me to come get her because her father was drinking so I did. She is often upset after coming home...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Having had alot of my own experience with anxiety/depression, I can see that the behavior my AH is symptoms of depression as well as alcoholism. Staying in bed 24/7,not wanting to eat,just wanting to sleep etc. I want to know if I should suggest and/or insist he get some help. Like go to the psych er or ??...

confused2015 · confused2015

So yesterday my AH sat down next to me and asked, Do you want to go to therapy with me or am I going on my own? Not sure what brought this on but ok, I'll go with it. I said, I think you need to go by yourself and then later maybe I will go with you. But you need to make sure whoever you see specializes in alcoho...

yesor · yesor

Hi all, I'm new and I have a question about protecting the Anonymity of the Alcoholic. I have recently joined Al-Anon, and feel that I have arrived at a place where I feel it is helpful to share my personal journey with a few close friends, to allow them to support me and to break out of my own cycle of de...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about keeping the focus on 'one day at a time' and remembering step 11 and the faith we have in our HPs will for us. When I think about living one day at a time I think about living in the present, and frankly- how difficult that can be at times. For me I don't get s...

Debb · Debb

The way I speak often reveals more than what I say. To make the program work for me, it is important to be LIVING IT. This will reveal itself in everything I do and say."By listening to more than mere words, I can learn much more than mere words can teach."We can talk as much as we need to but soon...

Debb · Debb

"The alcoholic cannot be forced to get sober." The spouse: "But I've tried everything. He won't listen to reason. I've yelled and complained, paid the bills, threatened to leave--nothing works, of course not. This is YOU applying the force, and that never works. I suggest you ST...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Oh dear. My brother (the oldest) went interstate for a few months recently for work. He seemed to enjoy it and I was excited for him as he suffers from pretty severe OCD and anxiety and doesn't leave my mother's house other than to work, usually. (He's 30). He works all day and then drinks in front of his co...

Debb · Debb

I work with a woman who has very serious confidence issues, and who considers me her only friend, in an otherwise hostile work environment (in her mind of course). I try very hard to remain neutral and supportive, but there are times, like today where my good nature is tested to the max! I do try to im...

crystal3030 · crystal3030

So i don't really know where to start, but here i go. I meet my fiance 7 years ago and i fell madly in love with him, not knowing what an alcoholic was. We have been together 7 years now and i have two kids from a previous marriage. There was always sneaking around for him and trying to lie about drinking, bu...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi Everyone I am back for my cruise. Weather was a bit of a challenge with high waves and winds but by the 3rd day out we were fine. Made sure I visited the exercise room each day so I could eat up a storm. Gained 5 pounds but it was worth it. Missed everyone

Debb · Debb

My 37 year old daughter, who is bi-polar, is moving out of our home today and the movers are finishing up tomorrow morning with her heavier pieces of furniture. She got a very nice, one bedroom, just five minutes down the road and she can actually have a cat there as well. Been a long road with her and my A...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Everything has gone wrong today. I'm grumpy, I'm agitated, I keep dropping things, breaking things, burning things, swearing at things...ugh! Anyway I sat down on the couch before and said to my child 'That's it, I'm done with today, it's just hopeless!" and suddenly out of nowhere a big pile o...

hotrod · hotrod

IThe ODAT reading for today, Columbus Day speaks about being controlling. It compares being controlling to a person with a enormous thumb , pressed down upon all the people that she interacted with. This person thought that she was a loving , generous person who was just doing her job and everyo...

jpebbles · jpebbles

Today, I am going crazy. It seems the only way to not be crazy is to leave the Alcoholic, but I am not able to have this wonderful dream so I must deal with being crazy. I pretend that I have a wonderful marriage and three well-behaved kids but this is only a dream. I find myself yelling at the kids because I...

Confused2379 · Confused2379

I confronted my AH yesterday and was very angry. He moved back in with me 3 weeks ago. Since then I have been walking on egg shells. I have been trying so hard to stay out of his business. But he is drinking so much more and staying out all night Again. I told him if he came back there would be boundaries. ...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I am so grateful for this program because without it, the events over the past year would have destroyed me. Instead I am able to keep things in perspective and keep my focus where it needs to be. I am often amazed at how my higher power works and how things are revealed to me. However, the facts about my...

Debb · Debb

The difference between pity and compassion pity elevates me, compassion is empathy for anothers humanness ~ Al-anon. Pity, is a feeling of sorrow for the misfortune of others. For example I felt great pity for those affected by the Ebola virus. Pity, can sometimes be confused with love, incases o...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Ah just lies in his bed,not eatting unless I give him something. He doesnt shower,lies in his own messy bed,half un communicative. he doesnt feed or water the cats. He barely knows what is around him. Meanwhile the blessing of my bro in law today. I will be able to get cat litter,food,mail things and sea...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The newest member of my family finally arrived this afternoon @ 3:45pm CST. The kids wanted to be alone with the babe so I didn't get all the stats but great APGAR scores! I watched him arrive into this world - if you've never gotten to do this, I recommend. I am not a super emotional person but this got me...

daisy31 · daisy31

I have been in the program for 3 years and have basically stayed half in and half out of alanon. I have a hard time being really open and trusting of others. I have worked the steps a year ago but it was much too fast for me and I did not feel comfortable with my sponsor. I also look for things to find fault with...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi - I've been trying to forgive my A spouse for about a year. I've re-done steps, worked with my sponsor, tried to be "entirely ready," and got help from my sponsor. Two weeks ago we had the 12th anniv. of the meeting I attend. We had two amazing speakers, both alcoholic, drug addicted, an...

Debb · Debb

I will refuse to be troubled by an uneasy sense of guilt. I will track it to its source and make good for any harm I have done. I will be most careful not to whitewash it with self-justification and self-righteousness. That would hamper everything I am trying to accomplish. "A man is relieved and g...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Thought For Today ~ Boundaries ~ 10/18/15 (Preview) Have a wonderful day everyone.	Debb	2	420	Oct 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	ODAT 10-18 (Preview) The ODA T for October 18 asks that we take the time to consider some intangibles. It points out that attitudes are conveyed to other people by what we say and do and how we say it .--- If our attitudes truly reflect what we feel. Gentle actions and soft courteous words may only be counterfeit to the way w...	hotrod	2	455	Oct 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	It's harder when it's your child. (Preview) I hope that I don't offend anyone by saying that it's SO much harder to "let go", to stop trying to control, come up with solutions and "fix" the addicted person when that person is a beloved child. My husband suffered for many years with alcohol/drug problems. He's doing well no...	carolm	23	1097	Oct 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Forgotten Anniversary (Preview) Hey everyone! Today is my 6th wedding anniversary to my AH. It is very interesting to me that he can remember all the fellowship friends sobriety dates, he can remember to suit up, show up and take care of business when it comes to helping others, yet he cannot seem to remember this or anything like my bda...	Flower49	7	599	Oct 18, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Archived Messages (Preview) Can anyone tell me how to read older messages. I have entered various topics in the search bar and it will bring them up and sometimes show that the poster has psoted for example 300 topics but I am only able to see one page and cant seem to get to the rest?	serenity47	10	593	Oct 17, 2015 by serenity47
	Thought for Today ~ Courteous ~ 10/16/15 (Preview) I will take every opportunity to be courteous to those nearest me, as well as those outside my orbit. The warmth and kindness of courtesy will take the sting out of resentments, and give dignity and importance to the members of my household, making them feel secure and loved. "Courtesy makes a l...	Debb	5	574	Oct 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	ODAT 10-17 (Preview) ODA T reading for October 17 speaks about the principles of the 12 steps. It then. identifies the Steps as a body of spiritual wisdom that unfolds and expands our understanding slowly as we continue to practice the principles of each , The reading goes on to say that there is one Step that shoul...	hotrod	3	453	Oct 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	alone. once again. (Preview) I am mad. Really really mad. AH left once again to go on a second fishing trip for 6 days.... not to mention just this last weekend he spent golfing both Saturday and Sunday, as well as every weekend before that. I am DONE. I have an AH that would RATHER be away from me and our kids. He has never said that but...	beacheemom	8	566	Oct 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Resentment ~ 10/17/15 (Preview) I have no room for resentment in my new Al-Anon way of life. I will not fight it with grim determination, but will reason it out of existence by calmly uncovering its cause. An Al-Anon member wrote: "The best antidote for resentment is the continual practice of gratitude." "Nothin...	Debb	4	448	Oct 17, 2015 by KT2015
	same old life sometimes (Preview) ok, so my life continues to resemble living with the alcoholic boyfriend at times even though we have been done for more than 5 years and I've moved on to a much nicer life, so it's gotta be me at least in part. the only alcoholic player that I know of in the current situation is my brother he also takes a lot...	glad	3	3635	Oct 17, 2015 by hotrod
	Addicted To Alanon? (Preview) Addicted to Al anon? I was wondering how people feel about overdoing this program. I know that I will be told that a person should and will do as much as he or she sees fit to get to sanity. If that means 6 meetings a week and reading every day and talking to others 3 times a day than it's a "good"...	kramsnah	19	2403	Oct 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Deciding on more healthy tools (Preview) AW was released from jail this morning, and I met her for coffee. She will be staying with her mom for the next year or two. (Of course, she hopes to be "home" as often as possible, while I hope that her probation officer will not allow this.) It was very clear to me that we are not in agreement abo...	Skorpi	8	626	Oct 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	Feedback Please (Preview) Good Morning, I'm hoping to get feedback on a situation from last night. I recently started attending AA meetings (have been to 3 so far) with the hopes of finding a group where I feel comfortable and connect. Last night's meeting was from 8pm - 9pm and went well. I left at around 9:15 and on my way hom...	mericose	13	605	Oct 16, 2015 by Jazzie18
	ODAT 10-16 (Preview) The ODA T reading for October 16 speaks about Al-Anon being a fellowship of equals. When we determine to attend meetings with an open mind we soon discover that the person that we may see as less recovered, may surprises us and say something with great spiritual insight so that the statement reac...	hotrod	3	445	Oct 16, 2015 by glad
	Down And Feeling Hopeless Today (Preview) I know it is just an 'off' day,I am not feeling well,the weather is crappy,and frankly,I just feel tired from all the work,time and effort I have to put in on a daily basis just to keep my sanity and some sense of serenity.	SoggySlippers	6	2350	Oct 16, 2015 by mericose
	New to the board (Preview) Hi All, I have been reading the board for a while. I thought I would start posting. I have been attending F2F Al anon meetings for a couple of months now. I feel like I am just getting my feet wet. I have been married to my AH for 11 years. My father and step mother are active alcoholics and my step fathe...	KT2015	6	513	Oct 16, 2015 by mericose
	I Stopped Drinking, My Wife Did Not (Preview) Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I'm grateful to have found this site as I wasn't sure where to turn. After a lifetime of bad decisions, embarrassing incidents and too many blackout nights, I decided to stop drinking. This was 2.5 years ago. I didn't leverage any program or rehab, I jus...	mericose	22	667	Oct 16, 2015 by mericose
	ODAT 10-15 (Preview) Good morning all,The ODA T reading for today, October 15 speaks about the importance of not giving advice a to each other or to newcomers. It offers examples of the new person entering the rooms, needing to share their confusion, anger and resentment about living with the disease of alcoholism....	hotrod	8	560	Oct 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	October (Preview) October is the anniversary of a lot of things in my alcoholic life. It marks the worst my abuse ever was with my father, as well as when it all ended. It marks the start of the relationship that finally took me away from it all. This year I began speaking to my father again. I don't allow alcohol as a part of th...	LostInThought	2	411	Oct 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	now I understand (Preview) I really get why we call ourselves miracles in progress. We all have ways to go & will never arrive. It takes a miracle that we find this & F2F meetings. I never knew so much support from "strangers". We are NOT strangers but all apart of a family. No matter how long or how much I pray I wi...	Hoot Nanny	4	449	Oct 16, 2015 by Mirandac
	Another stage of grief (Preview) I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety and started having panic attacks,again.It has been a while since I have had them.I started thinking about loss and grief and it does make sense that anxiety would be one of the stages.Although it isn't listed on the stages of grief,I did some research and most p...	mjferg	5	634	Oct 15, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Thought for Today ~ Giving Love ~ 10/15/15 (Preview) Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter to us whether it is returned or not. If I give it only to get a response on my terms, my love is cancelled out. If I have the capacity to give love, any return I get for it is a special bonus. It is through giving love, freely and without expectation of r...	Debb	3	596	Oct 15, 2015 by andromeda
	3 years 7 months 14 days sober pissed away because of stress........ (Preview) I really hate this disease. I had become comfortable in the sober world. 1 year, 2 years, 3 years.... I thought she had this thing under control. But no. Yesterday I got the call that she was at the bar. Had been drinking for 3 days. Now today. Sober again. And all she can do is cry. What a waste she says. What...	jodiee34	6	770	Oct 14, 2015 by Mattie
	when you can't do anything (Preview) More counselling. Grief is a strange thing. Buried grief resurfacing. It sounds as if you have accepted your loss. I just dont know if acceptance is the right word. It seems to me that when we cant physically hold the ones we love, letting go of all the pain and hurt is really difficult because somehow th...	a4l	2	613	Oct 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	The nights are the hardest (Preview) Every night is the same. I sleep only a couple of hours and then my mind starts racing. What am I missing? What could I say? Do? What would turn my son's situation around? How much worse is it going to get? Do I kick him out? Would that help him hit his bottom or would I lose him? I've been sitting here rea...	Optimist	7	810	Oct 14, 2015 by serenity47
	RUNNING AWAY (Preview) My AD is in a down ward spiral again. Another job loss which came as no surprise. I am trying to reframe it in my mind as one step closer to her bottom. I don't know. I do know I am struggling a lot today. Her solution is to relocate again with a "fresh" start. I believe where ever you go there...	serenity47	12	700	Oct 14, 2015 by serenity47
	FYI Only - For Educational Purposes (Preview) I don't debate about how the disease that brought us together is classified and am posting this for informational purposes only. I am one who wants to keep understanding all I can about the disease so I can 'battle it accordingly'.... (((Hugs))) to the MIP Family!! http://www.nbcnews.com/id/441...	Iamhere	0	558	Oct 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	How far is too far? (Preview) Hi there, I have been dealing with a situation and would like some input, if you're up for it! AH and I went to a sporting event out of town. AH got hammered and he is a very angry, obnoxious drunk but his behavior is mainly directed at me. Short story without going into too much detail was later in the evenin...	BuccaneerGirl	8	650	Oct 14, 2015 by serenity47
	Marriage Therapy (Preview) In an effort to save our marriage, I've arranged an appointment with a marriage therapist. My wife is completely against therapy (she had a bad experience with her ex) but she reluctantly agreed to go. The appointment is this Friday. Over the past few days, my wife has been what I can only call, &quo...	mericose	16	667	Oct 14, 2015 by confused2015
	ODAT 10 14 (Preview) I really loved today's reading in the ODAT. It speaks about how much recovery , growth and satisfaction can be gained by sharing in an Al-Anon group (or on the MIP Message Board). ,The sharing can be by giving of our time by serving as chairperson, treasurer, literature person, and by giving of ourse...	hotrod	1	344	Oct 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Amends ~ 10/14/15 (Preview) Regrets for hurtful things I have done to others may be healed by making amends as well as I can. Regrets for missed opportunities will vanish as I try to make wise choices today. Let me fill this day with thoughts and actions I will have no need to regret. Let me undertake only as much as I can accomplish we...	Debb	2	537	Oct 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	just a quote. (Preview) The quote is: "You don't help anyone by trying to impress them; you impress someone when you try to help them." I got this from The Program.	Hoot Nanny	3	367	Oct 14, 2015 by hotrod
	breathalyzers in cars? (Preview) Wondering if anyone has experience to share about breathalyzers installed in cars, especially in a preventative way (not ordered by the court)? Trying to figure out if it is realistic to insist my AH have one installed in his car. He has driven with the kids, and I don't want to play policeman. Right n...	oceanpine	7	2267	Oct 14, 2015 by Tossed Salad
	Alcoholic son (Preview) My son drinks every day. He can never stop at one. He kicked a fentanyl addiction last December with the help of intensive (and very expensive) rehab and sees the alcohol as nothing compared to that. He isn't financially able to be on his own. He's 23. He works full-time. I'm struggling to figure...	Optimist	7	815	Oct 13, 2015 by Optimist
	I come to you to say MY life is unmanageable (Preview) As I sit here typing this I realize just how much of a mess my life has become. I am writing to a message board of people I don't know because at this point in my life I am running on empty....my friends are few, my confidants fewer and my family - well to bring them into this would only cause me anguish.If you...	Theoceancalls	11	686	Oct 13, 2015 by Optimist
	Maybe I Am Doing This All Wrong(?) (Preview) I thought that I have been doing all the 'right' things,I do my daily readings,I come here and read on a regular basis,I attend f2f meetings,attend some of the ones here,reach out to others in my group,let go and let God,mind my own business,work the steps,do everything in my power to work my program to...	SoggySlippers	13	649	Oct 13, 2015 by Optimist
	Finding a sponsor on MIP (Preview) Is there a post or somewhere in the bios where members here have indicated if they are open to being a sponsor? I still haven't found someone to ask at face to face meetings and feel like I'm spinning in circles with the literature and meetings, but not putting anything into action. Thank you all for be...	Mermaid4	1	274	Oct 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Child Protective Services vs Family Court (Preview) Looking for anyone's experiences with having to deal with problems with visitation. My daughter doesn't feel comfortable with her father (she is 11 and has a younger sister, 7) Today she called me and asked me to come get her because her father was drinking so I did. She is often upset after coming home...	sookie	7	1114	Oct 13, 2015 by mvg
	AH is depressed (Preview) Having had alot of my own experience with anxiety/depression, I can see that the behavior my AH is symptoms of depression as well as alcoholism. Staying in bed 24/7,not wanting to eat,just wanting to sleep etc. I want to know if I should suggest and/or insist he get some help. Like go to the psych er or ??...	YARNCRAZY	5	683	Oct 13, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Out of no where (Preview) So yesterday my AH sat down next to me and asked, Do you want to go to therapy with me or am I going on my own? Not sure what brought this on but ok, I'll go with it. I said, I think you need to go by yourself and then later maybe I will go with you. But you need to make sure whoever you see specializes in alcoho...	confused2015	5	640	Oct 13, 2015 by Debb
	Perplexed about anonymity (Preview) Hi all, I'm new and I have a question about protecting the Anonymity of the Alcoholic. I have recently joined Al-Anon, and feel that I have arrived at a place where I feel it is helpful to share my personal journey with a few close friends, to allow them to support me and to break out of my own cycle of de...	yesor	6	610	Oct 13, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Hope for today October 13 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about keeping the focus on 'one day at a time' and remembering step 11 and the faith we have in our HPs will for us. When I think about living one day at a time I think about living in the present, and frankly- how difficult that can be at times. For me I don't get s...	yanksfan51	4	635	Oct 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ LIVING IT ~ 10/13/15 (Preview) The way I speak often reveals more than what I say. To make the program work for me, it is important to be LIVING IT. This will reveal itself in everything I do and say."By listening to more than mere words, I can learn much more than mere words can teach."We can talk as much as we need to but soon...	Debb	3	383	Oct 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Inaction ~ 10/12/15 (Preview) "The alcoholic cannot be forced to get sober." The spouse: "But I've tried everything. He won't listen to reason. I've yelled and complained, paid the bills, threatened to leave--nothing works, of course not. This is YOU applying the force, and that never works. I suggest you ST...	Debb	5	628	Oct 13, 2015 by youfoundme
	Drunk people everywhere! (Preview) Oh dear. My brother (the oldest) went interstate for a few months recently for work. He seemed to enjoy it and I was excited for him as he suffers from pretty severe OCD and anxiety and doesn't leave my mother's house other than to work, usually. (He's 30). He works all day and then drinks in front of his co...	missmeliss	3	641	Oct 12, 2015 by Debb
	QTIP!! (Preview) I work with a woman who has very serious confidence issues, and who considers me her only friend, in an otherwise hostile work environment (in her mind of course). I try very hard to remain neutral and supportive, but there are times, like today where my good nature is tested to the max! I do try to im...	Debb	9	695	Oct 12, 2015 by Mirandac
	7 long years (Preview) So i don't really know where to start, but here i go. I meet my fiance 7 years ago and i fell madly in love with him, not knowing what an alcoholic was. We have been together 7 years now and i have two kids from a previous marriage. There was always sneaking around for him and trying to lie about drinking, bu...	crystal3030	5	611	Oct 12, 2015 by crystal3030
	I am back (Preview) Hi Everyone I am back for my cruise. Weather was a bit of a challenge with high waves and winds but by the 3rd day out we were fine. Made sure I visited the exercise room each day so I could eat up a storm. Gained 5 pounds but it was worth it. Missed everyone	hotrod	12	598	Oct 12, 2015 by Enigmatic
	Daughter is Moving Out Today (Preview) My 37 year old daughter, who is bi-polar, is moving out of our home today and the movers are finishing up tomorrow morning with her heavier pieces of furniture. She got a very nice, one bedroom, just five minutes down the road and she can actually have a cat there as well. Been a long road with her and my A...	Debb	11	681	Oct 12, 2015 by confused2015
	Lol. (Preview) Everything has gone wrong today. I'm grumpy, I'm agitated, I keep dropping things, breaking things, burning things, swearing at things...ugh! Anyway I sat down on the couch before and said to my child 'That's it, I'm done with today, it's just hopeless!" and suddenly out of nowhere a big pile o...	missmeliss	5	423	Oct 12, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	ODAT 10-12 (Preview) IThe ODAT reading for today, Columbus Day speaks about being controlling. It compares being controlling to a person with a enormous thumb , pressed down upon all the people that she interacted with. This person thought that she was a loving , generous person who was just doing her job and everyo...	hotrod	11	559	Oct 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	Living with an Alcoholic (Preview) Today, I am going crazy. It seems the only way to not be crazy is to leave the Alcoholic, but I am not able to have this wonderful dream so I must deal with being crazy. I pretend that I have a wonderful marriage and three well-behaved kids but this is only a dream. I find myself yelling at the kids because I...	jpebbles	5	594	Oct 12, 2015 by milkwood
	Feel like I'm done too!! (Preview) I confronted my AH yesterday and was very angry. He moved back in with me 3 weeks ago. Since then I have been walking on egg shells. I have been trying so hard to stay out of his business. But he is drinking so much more and staying out all night Again. I told him if he came back there would be boundaries. ...	Confused2379	8	806	Oct 12, 2015 by Confused2379
	Medical Issues (Preview) I am so grateful for this program because without it, the events over the past year would have destroyed me. Instead I am able to keep things in perspective and keep my focus where it needs to be. I am often amazed at how my higher power works and how things are revealed to me. However, the facts about my...	Tossed Salad	10	440	Oct 11, 2015 by Freetime
	Definitions for 9/3/15 – Pity * Self-Pity * Compassion * Empathy (Preview) The difference between pity and compassion pity elevates me, compassion is empathy for anothers humanness ~ Al-anon. Pity, is a feeling of sorrow for the misfortune of others. For example I felt great pity for those affected by the Ebola virus. Pity, can sometimes be confused with love, incases o...	Debb	11	3083	Oct 11, 2015 by Ifnotforgrace
	Ah going down fast (Preview) Ah just lies in his bed,not eatting unless I give him something. He doesnt shower,lies in his own messy bed,half un communicative. he doesnt feed or water the cats. He barely knows what is around him. Meanwhile the blessing of my bro in law today. I will be able to get cat litter,food,mail things and sea...	YARNCRAZY	6	442	Oct 11, 2015 by Tossed Salad
	We have a BABY!!! (Preview) The newest member of my family finally arrived this afternoon @ 3:45pm CST. The kids wanted to be alone with the babe so I didn't get all the stats but great APGAR scores! I watched him arrive into this world - if you've never gotten to do this, I recommend. I am not a super emotional person but this got me...	Iamhere	16	723	Oct 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Codependency (Preview) I have been in the program for 3 years and have basically stayed half in and half out of alanon. I have a hard time being really open and trusting of others. I have worked the steps a year ago but it was much too fast for me and I did not feel comfortable with my sponsor. I also look for things to find fault with...	daisy31	6	1177	Oct 11, 2015 by Weeks7304
	forgiveness (Preview) Hi - I've been trying to forgive my A spouse for about a year. I've re-done steps, worked with my sponsor, tried to be "entirely ready," and got help from my sponsor. Two weeks ago we had the 12th anniv. of the meeting I attend. We had two amazing speakers, both alcoholic, drug addicted, an...	Lyne	6	2319	Oct 11, 2015 by hotrod
	Thought for Today ~ Guilt ~ 10/11/15 (Preview) I will refuse to be troubled by an uneasy sense of guilt. I will track it to its source and make good for any harm I have done. I will be most careful not to whitewash it with self-justification and self-righteousness. That would hamper everything I am trying to accomplish. "A man is relieved and g...	Debb	3	479	Oct 11, 2015 by Debb
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.