Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Weeks7304 · Weeks7304

Can folks reading this message board please provide some positive relationship news? Tell stories about how a rock bottom situation of addiction actually made a relationship (marriages or long term partnerships) stronger and the end product thrives today? I am new to alanon but I feel hope for the...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Your responses have all become gifts to me. I read each and every one of them several times throughout the day and specially in the evenings. At the moment I think my husbAnd is ActuAlly Accepting the fAct thAt I Am denied the fAct thAt there is no counseling. . ThaT This is over I senT him a picTure of a hous...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for October 22 speaks about examining our own motives and understanding our own drives. Great topic and one I never undertook prior to program. The reading points out that we are asked to do this so to to correct the destructive habits that we have developed which hamper our re...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

I get it now.I have dried my tears because I realize I have been sitting here so heartbroken and disappointed over my AS because I expected him to do something other than what he does.He is an addict,he does what he does because he is an addict,he does what addicts do. I set myself up by expecting differen...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi everyone. My ah who I have been separated since July has been attended celebrate recovery, a therapist, a psychologist and has been sober about a month seems to be trying and every time I think that is finally it he comes back around and says he has found a network and he is hopeful that he will say the co...

Cooper · Cooper

I'm going to post this here mostly as a vent because I can't say what I'm feeling out loud. My ex brother in law is dying of liver failure, 45 years old, he has been dealing with this for probably six years but can't stop drinking. Typical alcoholic story, had a good life at one point but was always looking...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today my Ah gave up alcohol 9 years ago. I am so proud of him. He needs to celebrate. His life was saved by he program of Alcoholics Anonymous. He was near death before he got sober & I didn't realize. He is now 73 years old & is in very good shape. He has given me a reason to love him again. Thank God for...

Debb · Debb

Detaching our minds from the problem can truly promote our spiritual growth, and lessen the unrecognized personal guilt we carry around within us. It can lift the mind away from the partner's doings. Such detachment shows us each new day as an opportunity to free ourselves from a sense of injury that...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Yesterday was ah's birthday and he was able to remain sober enough to take us to a movie/diner. It was that old agravation which i tried so hard to detach from. He made us late cause he had to have 1/2 beer prior and then to my silent horor i discovered they sold beer/wine in the movies! Well, I hadnt been to o...

Debb · Debb

Nobody has given me the right to punish anyone for anything; "Vengeance in mine, faith the Lord." Therefore any attempt at retaliation for an injury can only react unhappily on me. "In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments--there are consequences." ~ (Rob...

hotrod · hotrod

ODA T reading for October 21 speaks about one of Al-Anon's most important principles which are :" Don't take anybody's inventory but our own. It suggests that the more we practice this philosophy, we will gradually come to understand that by focusing on ourselves, rather than others, we wi...

Ashley B · Ashley B

So...I am having some difficult feelings. My brother is 3 years sober from a heroine addiction that almost killed him twice. He works the program, attends meetings, meditates, etc. Good for him right? Yeah, I agree. The big issue is he is still such a selfish jerk! His life is still all about him and wha...

uva25 · uva25

I've had a really good week with me and my AW. We've been to counseling and its really going well and she seems to be working her program really well. We had a great weekend together, spending a lot of time and working well together. I struggled at my two FTF meetings with hearing all the horror stories...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So those wjo have read and have to.know me, know i belueve in my viws, i never wanted a broken family, i never wanted to abdone my husb. Hes broken and damaged and at times really wonderful. . But. . Two affairs in less than five years one to a teacher skank at my daughters school and now recently to a women sk...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am suffering big time on this computer! I am not complaining but stating that I can't sit very long on here. This chair stinks! I have mentioned it before I know. I wish the library would change the chairs. There goes my frustration for the day. Otherwise I am doing great! Things are really going well. I...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

after a week of *//* it has culiminated in me uncovering proof of my ah second affair in three/four years t this time with a neighbor/friend. . Found texts that were suspicioys thursday, emails and sex photos today. . I confronted he didnt deny. .Im sick. Those images are burned on my brain. Sure its bee...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

good morning everyone- Today's reading is about our responsibilities to ourselves. lt speaks about the difference in our lives when we learn to keep the focus on ourselves and how we are able to choose our responses to different situations. when I went to my first couple of alanon meetings, I defini...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Last week I decided to go on a serious diet, serious meaning I was committed to eating healthier. It is day 8 and I have stayed on it. I have found that I am just feeling a lot better, with this my confidence has grown. With this, I am not being a doormat anymore. Monday, stood up for myself with a co worker tha...

Confused2379 · Confused2379

I'm having a very hard time. I am so broken I don't recognize myself. My identity has been shattered. How can I pick myself up, shake off the crud?? Not only have I had to accept my AH's drunkeness but I now have to face the fact that I ruined my career. I don't know how to salvage anything. I admit I am p...

andromeda · andromeda

Most of you know that I have moved on to a new relationship to someone who is not an addict or alcoholic, but that does not mean he does not have baggage or issues. I have recently been asking myself if I am settling for 'a relationship(being in one specifically with a good man)' or if my discontent and uns...

Carmel 15 · Carmel 15

My partner is in rehab and due out Dec. After 4 months its as if a miracle has happened and he has now said he never wants to drink again and knows that as he is an addict he cant pick up ever again as he knows he wont stop. He was singing the praises of meetings and shares. Now he is saying when he comes out he isn...

Shund · Shund

Someone I know who has attended Al-anon for several years was recently banned from an Al-anon meeting after 2 individuals approached them after the meeting near the door as they were leaving. Without saying 'excuse me", one of them suddenly said "We need to talk to you in this little room&...

confused2015 · confused2015

So this weekend was a little messed up. I decided on Friday that I needed to argue back with my AH. I know I wasn't getting anywhere but just couldn't stop. I don't understand what happened but I guess that just proved that I was still human. I finally got up with my youngest child and left when I got bac...

ChipsAreFalling · ChipsAreFalling

This is my first post here, but I've been reading regularly for a while now. The ESH I've seen here has helped me so very much to keep me sane the last several months, so thank you! AH and I have been in a pretty bad place for a few years now, although I only woke up to the alcoholic basis of a lot of our issues the...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for October 19 speaks about the story of Don Quixote. This is a classic story of a "fictional hero", who goes about the world trying to right all the world's wrongs.. As he is going about his adventures, he comes across windmills that he thinks are mighty Giants. He th...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is awesome - exactly as it is.....I'm posting the reading for those who may not have the text: "I used to think of God as my adversary. We were engaged in a battle of wills, and I wasn't about to let down my guard. You can imagine how quickly this attitude led me to hit a hard emotio...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I am still very pregnant. 38 weeks today actually. My due date is Halloween. My AH went to a detox center a week and a half ago. He was only there for 4 days and was discharged. He missed his sister's wedding the weekend he was gone. I was alone in the house with a 2 yr old and a very pregnant belly. Doctor...

hotrod · hotrod

7th Step has been posted to he Step BoardLearn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Please visit and share your thoughts. Here is the link. http://stepwork.ac...

Debb · Debb

I will concentrate on the things that are my concern and make sure WHICH REALLY ARE MINE. I will keep hands off the business of others. I will not interfere with the alcoholic's activities, assume theirresponsibilities or shield them from the consequences of what they do. "When you are offend...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Rain...heavy, heavy rain and thunder and lightening and stuff!! and thank HP for a memory that is still intact as I remember the old timers repeating "IT'S ALL STUFF". Yes it is S T U F F. That was last night and a bit ago the emergency news repeated the warning...S T U F F is still around ...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It's a slippery slope when I forget to practice my program. Yet t's easy to do when there is no active A in my face every day. My day to day life is filled with ordinary challenges, mostly reasonable people and if anything the only enemy I have is a boredom and dissatisfaction (perhaps with the lack of dram...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Ok so. . Its our 17the wedding anniv. .We had time together today. .Had early dinner . . Now. .Im home relaxin with my daughter and ummm hes at a bar watching a ball game. Im not angry. Most women andmy oarents would be but we have been fighting big all week and well. . Its quiet. But i feel a luttle guilty and w...

Debb · Debb

Have a wonderful day everyone.

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T for October 18 asks that we take the time to consider some intangibles. It points out that attitudes are conveyed to other people by what we say and do and how we say it .--- If our attitudes truly reflect what we feel. Gentle actions and soft courteous words may only be counterfeit to the way w...

carolm · carolm

I hope that I don't offend anyone by saying that it's SO much harder to "let go", to stop trying to control, come up with solutions and "fix" the addicted person when that person is a beloved child. My husband suffered for many years with alcohol/drug problems. He's doing well no...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hey everyone! Today is my 6th wedding anniversary to my AH. It is very interesting to me that he can remember all the fellowship friends sobriety dates, he can remember to suit up, show up and take care of business when it comes to helping others, yet he cannot seem to remember this or anything like my bda...

serenity47 · serenity47

Can anyone tell me how to read older messages. I have entered various topics in the search bar and it will bring them up and sometimes show that the poster has psoted for example 300 topics but I am only able to see one page and cant seem to get to the rest?

Debb · Debb

I will take every opportunity to be courteous to those nearest me, as well as those outside my orbit. The warmth and kindness of courtesy will take the sting out of resentments, and give dignity and importance to the members of my household, making them feel secure and loved. "Courtesy makes a l...

hotrod · hotrod

ODA T reading for October 17 speaks about the principles of the 12 steps. It then. identifies the Steps as a body of spiritual wisdom that unfolds and expands our understanding slowly as we continue to practice the principles of each , The reading goes on to say that there is one Step that shoul...

beacheemom · beacheemom

I am mad. Really really mad. AH left once again to go on a second fishing trip for 6 days.... not to mention just this last weekend he spent golfing both Saturday and Sunday, as well as every weekend before that. I am DONE. I have an AH that would RATHER be away from me and our kids. He has never said that but...

Debb · Debb

I have no room for resentment in my new Al-Anon way of life. I will not fight it with grim determination, but will reason it out of existence by calmly uncovering its cause. An Al-Anon member wrote: "The best antidote for resentment is the continual practice of gratitude." "Nothin...

glad · glad

ok, so my life continues to resemble living with the alcoholic boyfriend at times even though we have been done for more than 5 years and I've moved on to a much nicer life, so it's gotta be me at least in part. the only alcoholic player that I know of in the current situation is my brother he also takes a lot...

kramsnah · kramsnah

Addicted to Al anon? I was wondering how people feel about overdoing this program. I know that I will be told that a person should and will do as much as he or she sees fit to get to sanity. If that means 6 meetings a week and reading every day and talking to others 3 times a day than it's a "good"...

Skorpi · Skorpi

AW was released from jail this morning, and I met her for coffee. She will be staying with her mom for the next year or two. (Of course, she hopes to be "home" as often as possible, while I hope that her probation officer will not allow this.) It was very clear to me that we are not in agreement abo...

mericose · mericose

Good Morning, I'm hoping to get feedback on a situation from last night. I recently started attending AA meetings (have been to 3 so far) with the hopes of finding a group where I feel comfortable and connect. Last night's meeting was from 8pm - 9pm and went well. I left at around 9:15 and on my way hom...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for October 16 speaks about Al-Anon being a fellowship of equals. When we determine to attend meetings with an open mind we soon discover that the person that we may see as less recovered, may surprises us and say something with great spiritual insight so that the statement reac...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

I know it is just an 'off' day,I am not feeling well,the weather is crappy,and frankly,I just feel tired from all the work,time and effort I have to put in on a daily basis just to keep my sanity and some sense of serenity.

KT2015 · KT2015

Hi All, I have been reading the board for a while. I thought I would start posting. I have been attending F2F Al anon meetings for a couple of months now. I feel like I am just getting my feet wet. I have been married to my AH for 11 years. My father and step mother are active alcoholics and my step fathe...

mericose · mericose

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I'm grateful to have found this site as I wasn't sure where to turn. After a lifetime of bad decisions, embarrassing incidents and too many blackout nights, I decided to stop drinking. This was 2.5 years ago. I didn't leverage any program or rehab, I jus...

hotrod · hotrod

Good morning all,The ODA T reading for today, October 15 speaks about the importance of not giving advice a to each other or to newcomers. It offers examples of the new person entering the rooms, needing to share their confusion, anger and resentment about living with the disease of alcoholism....

LostInThought · LostInThought

October is the anniversary of a lot of things in my alcoholic life. It marks the worst my abuse ever was with my father, as well as when it all ended. It marks the start of the relationship that finally took me away from it all. This year I began speaking to my father again. I don't allow alcohol as a part of th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I really get why we call ourselves miracles in progress. We all have ways to go & will never arrive. It takes a miracle that we find this & F2F meetings. I never knew so much support from "strangers". We are NOT strangers but all apart of a family. No matter how long or how much I pray I wi...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety and started having panic attacks,again.It has been a while since I have had them.I started thinking about loss and grief and it does make sense that anxiety would be one of the stages.Although it isn't listed on the stages of grief,I did some research and most p...

Debb · Debb

Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter to us whether it is returned or not. If I give it only to get a response on my terms, my love is cancelled out. If I have the capacity to give love, any return I get for it is a special bonus. It is through giving love, freely and without expectation of r...

jodiee34 · jodiee34

I really hate this disease. I had become comfortable in the sober world. 1 year, 2 years, 3 years.... I thought she had this thing under control. But no. Yesterday I got the call that she was at the bar. Had been drinking for 3 days. Now today. Sober again. And all she can do is cry. What a waste she says. What...

a4l · a4l

More counselling. Grief is a strange thing. Buried grief resurfacing. It sounds as if you have accepted your loss. I just dont know if acceptance is the right word. It seems to me that when we cant physically hold the ones we love, letting go of all the pain and hurt is really difficult because somehow th...

Optimist · Optimist

Every night is the same. I sleep only a couple of hours and then my mind starts racing. What am I missing? What could I say? Do? What would turn my son's situation around? How much worse is it going to get? Do I kick him out? Would that help him hit his bottom or would I lose him? I've been sitting here rea...

serenity47 · serenity47

My AD is in a down ward spiral again. Another job loss which came as no surprise. I am trying to reframe it in my mind as one step closer to her bottom. I don't know. I do know I am struggling a lot today. Her solution is to relocate again with a "fresh" start. I believe where ever you go there...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I don't debate about how the disease that brought us together is classified and am posting this for informational purposes only. I am one who wants to keep understanding all I can about the disease so I can 'battle it accordingly'.... (((Hugs))) to the MIP Family!! http://www.nbcnews.com/id/441...

BuccaneerGirl · BuccaneerGirl

Hi there, I have been dealing with a situation and would like some input, if you're up for it! AH and I went to a sporting event out of town. AH got hammered and he is a very angry, obnoxious drunk but his behavior is mainly directed at me. Short story without going into too much detail was later in the evenin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Lets Talk Positive Relationships Please (Preview) Can folks reading this message board please provide some positive relationship news? Tell stories about how a rock bottom situation of addiction actually made a relationship (marriages or long term partnerships) stronger and the end product thrives today? I am new to alanon but I feel hope for the...	Weeks7304	21	1052	Oct 22, 2015 by uva25
	not sure how to start . . (Preview) Your responses have all become gifts to me. I read each and every one of them several times throughout the day and specially in the evenings. At the moment I think my husbAnd is ActuAlly Accepting the fAct thAt I Am denied the fAct thAt there is no counseling. . ThaT This is over I senT him a picTure of a hous...	Theoceancalls	6	649	Oct 22, 2015 by milkwood
	ODAT 10-22 (Preview) The ODAT reading for October 22 speaks about examining our own motives and understanding our own drives. Great topic and one I never undertook prior to program. The reading points out that we are asked to do this so to to correct the destructive habits that we have developed which hamper our re...	hotrod	1	470	Oct 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Expectations=Heartbreak And Disappointment (Preview) I get it now.I have dried my tears because I realize I have been sitting here so heartbroken and disappointed over my AS because I expected him to do something other than what he does.He is an addict,he does what he does because he is an addict,he does what addicts do. I set myself up by expecting differen...	SoggySlippers	4	993	Oct 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Celebrate recovery versus AA (Preview) Hi everyone. My ah who I have been separated since July has been attended celebrate recovery, a therapist, a psychologist and has been sober about a month seems to be trying and every time I think that is finally it he comes back around and says he has found a network and he is hopeful that he will say the co...	Helpangel	3	2950	Oct 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Fund raiser for a dying alcoholic (Preview) I'm going to post this here mostly as a vent because I can't say what I'm feeling out loud. My ex brother in law is dying of liver failure, 45 years old, he has been dealing with this for probably six years but can't stop drinking. Typical alcoholic story, had a good life at one point but was always looking...	Cooper	3	529	Oct 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	what a wonderful day to celebrate sobriety! (Preview) Today my Ah gave up alcohol 9 years ago. I am so proud of him. He needs to celebrate. His life was saved by he program of Alcoholics Anonymous. He was near death before he got sober & I didn't realize. He is now 73 years old & is in very good shape. He has given me a reason to love him again. Thank God for...	Hoot Nanny	8	693	Oct 22, 2015 by confused2015
	Thought for Today ~ Detaching ~ 10/20/15 (Preview) Detaching our minds from the problem can truly promote our spiritual growth, and lessen the unrecognized personal guilt we carry around within us. It can lift the mind away from the partner's doings. Such detachment shows us each new day as an opportunity to free ourselves from a sense of injury that...	Debb	4	1097	Oct 22, 2015 by Debb
	OUTING/AH REACTION/MY REACTION (Preview) Yesterday was ah's birthday and he was able to remain sober enough to take us to a movie/diner. It was that old agravation which i tried so hard to detach from. He made us late cause he had to have 1/2 beer prior and then to my silent horor i discovered they sold beer/wine in the movies! Well, I hadnt been to o...	YARNCRAZY	0	411	Oct 21, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Thought for Today ~ Punishment ~ 10/21/15 (Preview) Nobody has given me the right to punish anyone for anything; "Vengeance in mine, faith the Lord." Therefore any attempt at retaliation for an injury can only react unhappily on me. "In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments--there are consequences." ~ (Rob...	Debb	2	576	Oct 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	ODAT 10-21 (Preview) ODA T reading for October 21 speaks about one of Al-Anon's most important principles which are :" Don't take anybody's inventory but our own. It suggests that the more we practice this philosophy, we will gradually come to understand that by focusing on ourselves, rather than others, we wi...	hotrod	3	428	Oct 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	He is sober but still a jerk (Preview) So...I am having some difficult feelings. My brother is 3 years sober from a heroine addiction that almost killed him twice. He works the program, attends meetings, meditates, etc. Good for him right? Yeah, I agree. The big issue is he is still such a selfish jerk! His life is still all about him and wha...	Ashley B	5	815	Oct 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	How to live with success...and still use Al Anon (Preview) I've had a really good week with me and my AW. We've been to counseling and its really going well and she seems to be working her program really well. We had a great weekend together, spending a lot of time and working well together. I struggled at my two FTF meetings with hearing all the horror stories...	uva25	6	645	Oct 21, 2015 by hotrod
	gotta keep venting. . bless you for reading (Preview) So those wjo have read and have to.know me, know i belueve in my viws, i never wanted a broken family, i never wanted to abdone my husb. Hes broken and damaged and at times really wonderful. . But. . Two affairs in less than five years one to a teacher skank at my daughters school and now recently to a women sk...	Theoceancalls	9	724	Oct 21, 2015 by hotrod
	Ouch... (Preview) I am suffering big time on this computer! I am not complaining but stating that I can't sit very long on here. This chair stinks! I have mentioned it before I know. I wish the library would change the chairs. There goes my frustration for the day. Otherwise I am doing great! Things are really going well. I...	Hoot Nanny	2	445	Oct 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	sad update to anniv and marriage please please read (Preview) after a week of // it has culiminated in me uncovering proof of my ah second affair in three/four years t this time with a neighbor/friend. . Found texts that were suspicioys thursday, emails and sex photos today. . I confronted he didnt deny. .Im sick. Those images are burned on my brain. Sure its bee...	Theoceancalls	16	899	Oct 20, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Hope for Today October 20 (Preview) good morning everyone- Today's reading is about our responsibilities to ourselves. lt speaks about the difference in our lives when we learn to keep the focus on ourselves and how we are able to choose our responses to different situations. when I went to my first couple of alanon meetings, I defini...	yanksfan51	3	549	Oct 20, 2015 by Debb
	This is Robinks from the meetings, I decided to stop being a doormat and my life has been changing (Preview) Last week I decided to go on a serious diet, serious meaning I was committed to eating healthier. It is day 8 and I have stayed on it. I have found that I am just feeling a lot better, with this my confidence has grown. With this, I am not being a doormat anymore. Monday, stood up for myself with a co worker tha...	mercedes1959	11	777	Oct 20, 2015 by yanksfan51
	Broken!! (Preview) I'm having a very hard time. I am so broken I don't recognize myself. My identity has been shattered. How can I pick myself up, shake off the crud?? Not only have I had to accept my AH's drunkeness but I now have to face the fact that I ruined my career. I don't know how to salvage anything. I admit I am p...	Confused2379	12	632	Oct 20, 2015 by Confused2379
	Settling in new romantic relationships (Preview) Most of you know that I have moved on to a new relationship to someone who is not an addict or alcoholic, but that does not mean he does not have baggage or issues. I have recently been asking myself if I am settling for 'a relationship(being in one specifically with a good man)' or if my discontent and uns...	andromeda	13	843	Oct 20, 2015 by andromeda
	Is this the begining of a relapsse (Preview) My partner is in rehab and due out Dec. After 4 months its as if a miracle has happened and he has now said he never wants to drink again and knows that as he is an addict he cant pick up ever again as he knows he wont stop. He was singing the praises of meetings and shares. Now he is saying when he comes out he isn...	Carmel 15	9	644	Oct 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Violations of Tradition 3 al-anon tradition 3 three violation ban banning gossip criticism business meeting (Preview) Someone I know who has attended Al-anon for several years was recently banned from an Al-anon meeting after 2 individuals approached them after the meeting near the door as they were leaving. Without saying 'excuse me", one of them suddenly said "We need to talk to you in this little room&...	Shund	6	7887	Oct 20, 2015 by glad
	what a weekend (Preview) So this weekend was a little messed up. I decided on Friday that I needed to argue back with my AH. I know I wasn't getting anywhere but just couldn't stop. I don't understand what happened but I guess that just proved that I was still human. I finally got up with my youngest child and left when I got bac...	confused2015	9	755	Oct 19, 2015 by Jerry F
	Nearing my limit? (Preview) This is my first post here, but I've been reading regularly for a while now. The ESH I've seen here has helped me so very much to keep me sane the last several months, so thank you! AH and I have been in a pretty bad place for a few years now, although I only woke up to the alcoholic basis of a lot of our issues the...	ChipsAreFalling	11	871	Oct 19, 2015 by Debb
	ODAT 10-19 (Preview) The ODA T reading for October 19 speaks about the story of Don Quixote. This is a classic story of a "fictional hero", who goes about the world trying to right all the world's wrongs.. As he is going about his adventures, he comes across windmills that he thinks are mighty Giants. He th...	hotrod	2	563	Oct 19, 2015 by Debb
	Courage to Change 10/9/15 (Preview) Today's reading is awesome - exactly as it is.....I'm posting the reading for those who may not have the text: "I used to think of God as my adversary. We were engaged in a battle of wills, and I wasn't about to let down my guard. You can imagine how quickly this attitude led me to hit a hard emotio...	Iamhere	7	729	Oct 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Keeping the Focus on Me (Preview) I am still very pregnant. 38 weeks today actually. My due date is Halloween. My AH went to a detox center a week and a half ago. He was only there for 4 days and was discharged. He missed his sister's wedding the weekend he was gone. I was alone in the house with a 2 yr old and a very pregnant belly. Doctor...	Michelle814	12	726	Oct 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	7th Step Posted to the step Board (Preview) 7th Step has been posted to he Step BoardLearn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Please visit and share your thoughts. Here is the link. http://stepwork.ac...	hotrod	4	559	Oct 19, 2015 by confused2015
	Thought for Today ~ BMOB ~ 10/19/15 (Preview) I will concentrate on the things that are my concern and make sure WHICH REALLY ARE MINE. I will keep hands off the business of others. I will not interfere with the alcoholic's activities, assume theirresponsibilities or shield them from the consequences of what they do. "When you are offend...	Debb	2	585	Oct 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Flash flood warning!! (Preview) Rain...heavy, heavy rain and thunder and lightening and stuff!! and thank HP for a memory that is still intact as I remember the old timers repeating "IT'S ALL STUFF". Yes it is S T U F F. That was last night and a bit ago the emergency news repeated the warning...S T U F F is still around ...	Jerry F	8	660	Oct 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Serenity vs Blah. (Preview) It's a slippery slope when I forget to practice my program. Yet t's easy to do when there is no active A in my face every day. My day to day life is filled with ordinary challenges, mostly reasonable people and if anything the only enemy I have is a boredom and dissatisfaction (perhaps with the lack of dram...	missmeliss	8	652	Oct 18, 2015 by LinSC
	anniv and the alch marriage (Preview) Ok so. . Its our 17the wedding anniv. .We had time together today. .Had early dinner . . Now. .Im home relaxin with my daughter and ummm hes at a bar watching a ball game. Im not angry. Most women andmy oarents would be but we have been fighting big all week and well. . Its quiet. But i feel a luttle guilty and w...	Theoceancalls	4	563	Oct 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought For Today ~ Boundaries ~ 10/18/15 (Preview) Have a wonderful day everyone.	Debb	2	480	Oct 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	ODAT 10-18 (Preview) The ODA T for October 18 asks that we take the time to consider some intangibles. It points out that attitudes are conveyed to other people by what we say and do and how we say it .--- If our attitudes truly reflect what we feel. Gentle actions and soft courteous words may only be counterfeit to the way w...	hotrod	2	505	Oct 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	It's harder when it's your child. (Preview) I hope that I don't offend anyone by saying that it's SO much harder to "let go", to stop trying to control, come up with solutions and "fix" the addicted person when that person is a beloved child. My husband suffered for many years with alcohol/drug problems. He's doing well no...	carolm	23	1167	Oct 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Forgotten Anniversary (Preview) Hey everyone! Today is my 6th wedding anniversary to my AH. It is very interesting to me that he can remember all the fellowship friends sobriety dates, he can remember to suit up, show up and take care of business when it comes to helping others, yet he cannot seem to remember this or anything like my bda...	Flower49	7	664	Oct 18, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Archived Messages (Preview) Can anyone tell me how to read older messages. I have entered various topics in the search bar and it will bring them up and sometimes show that the poster has psoted for example 300 topics but I am only able to see one page and cant seem to get to the rest?	serenity47	10	635	Oct 17, 2015 by serenity47
	Thought for Today ~ Courteous ~ 10/16/15 (Preview) I will take every opportunity to be courteous to those nearest me, as well as those outside my orbit. The warmth and kindness of courtesy will take the sting out of resentments, and give dignity and importance to the members of my household, making them feel secure and loved. "Courtesy makes a l...	Debb	5	629	Oct 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	ODAT 10-17 (Preview) ODA T reading for October 17 speaks about the principles of the 12 steps. It then. identifies the Steps as a body of spiritual wisdom that unfolds and expands our understanding slowly as we continue to practice the principles of each , The reading goes on to say that there is one Step that shoul...	hotrod	3	500	Oct 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	alone. once again. (Preview) I am mad. Really really mad. AH left once again to go on a second fishing trip for 6 days.... not to mention just this last weekend he spent golfing both Saturday and Sunday, as well as every weekend before that. I am DONE. I have an AH that would RATHER be away from me and our kids. He has never said that but...	beacheemom	8	613	Oct 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Resentment ~ 10/17/15 (Preview) I have no room for resentment in my new Al-Anon way of life. I will not fight it with grim determination, but will reason it out of existence by calmly uncovering its cause. An Al-Anon member wrote: "The best antidote for resentment is the continual practice of gratitude." "Nothin...	Debb	4	504	Oct 17, 2015 by KT2015
	same old life sometimes (Preview) ok, so my life continues to resemble living with the alcoholic boyfriend at times even though we have been done for more than 5 years and I've moved on to a much nicer life, so it's gotta be me at least in part. the only alcoholic player that I know of in the current situation is my brother he also takes a lot...	glad	3	3944	Oct 17, 2015 by hotrod
	Addicted To Alanon? (Preview) Addicted to Al anon? I was wondering how people feel about overdoing this program. I know that I will be told that a person should and will do as much as he or she sees fit to get to sanity. If that means 6 meetings a week and reading every day and talking to others 3 times a day than it's a "good"...	kramsnah	19	2652	Oct 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Deciding on more healthy tools (Preview) AW was released from jail this morning, and I met her for coffee. She will be staying with her mom for the next year or two. (Of course, she hopes to be "home" as often as possible, while I hope that her probation officer will not allow this.) It was very clear to me that we are not in agreement abo...	Skorpi	8	689	Oct 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	Feedback Please (Preview) Good Morning, I'm hoping to get feedback on a situation from last night. I recently started attending AA meetings (have been to 3 so far) with the hopes of finding a group where I feel comfortable and connect. Last night's meeting was from 8pm - 9pm and went well. I left at around 9:15 and on my way hom...	mericose	13	667	Oct 16, 2015 by Jazzie18
	ODAT 10-16 (Preview) The ODA T reading for October 16 speaks about Al-Anon being a fellowship of equals. When we determine to attend meetings with an open mind we soon discover that the person that we may see as less recovered, may surprises us and say something with great spiritual insight so that the statement reac...	hotrod	3	497	Oct 16, 2015 by glad
	Down And Feeling Hopeless Today (Preview) I know it is just an 'off' day,I am not feeling well,the weather is crappy,and frankly,I just feel tired from all the work,time and effort I have to put in on a daily basis just to keep my sanity and some sense of serenity.	SoggySlippers	6	2546	Oct 16, 2015 by mericose
	New to the board (Preview) Hi All, I have been reading the board for a while. I thought I would start posting. I have been attending F2F Al anon meetings for a couple of months now. I feel like I am just getting my feet wet. I have been married to my AH for 11 years. My father and step mother are active alcoholics and my step fathe...	KT2015	6	571	Oct 16, 2015 by mericose
	I Stopped Drinking, My Wife Did Not (Preview) Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I'm grateful to have found this site as I wasn't sure where to turn. After a lifetime of bad decisions, embarrassing incidents and too many blackout nights, I decided to stop drinking. This was 2.5 years ago. I didn't leverage any program or rehab, I jus...	mericose	22	717	Oct 16, 2015 by mericose
	ODAT 10-15 (Preview) Good morning all,The ODA T reading for today, October 15 speaks about the importance of not giving advice a to each other or to newcomers. It offers examples of the new person entering the rooms, needing to share their confusion, anger and resentment about living with the disease of alcoholism....	hotrod	8	624	Oct 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	October (Preview) October is the anniversary of a lot of things in my alcoholic life. It marks the worst my abuse ever was with my father, as well as when it all ended. It marks the start of the relationship that finally took me away from it all. This year I began speaking to my father again. I don't allow alcohol as a part of th...	LostInThought	2	467	Oct 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	now I understand (Preview) I really get why we call ourselves miracles in progress. We all have ways to go & will never arrive. It takes a miracle that we find this & F2F meetings. I never knew so much support from "strangers". We are NOT strangers but all apart of a family. No matter how long or how much I pray I wi...	Hoot Nanny	4	493	Oct 16, 2015 by Mirandac
	Another stage of grief (Preview) I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety and started having panic attacks,again.It has been a while since I have had them.I started thinking about loss and grief and it does make sense that anxiety would be one of the stages.Although it isn't listed on the stages of grief,I did some research and most p...	mjferg	5	698	Oct 15, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Thought for Today ~ Giving Love ~ 10/15/15 (Preview) Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter to us whether it is returned or not. If I give it only to get a response on my terms, my love is cancelled out. If I have the capacity to give love, any return I get for it is a special bonus. It is through giving love, freely and without expectation of r...	Debb	3	650	Oct 15, 2015 by andromeda
	3 years 7 months 14 days sober pissed away because of stress........ (Preview) I really hate this disease. I had become comfortable in the sober world. 1 year, 2 years, 3 years.... I thought she had this thing under control. But no. Yesterday I got the call that she was at the bar. Had been drinking for 3 days. Now today. Sober again. And all she can do is cry. What a waste she says. What...	jodiee34	6	828	Oct 14, 2015 by Mattie
	when you can't do anything (Preview) More counselling. Grief is a strange thing. Buried grief resurfacing. It sounds as if you have accepted your loss. I just dont know if acceptance is the right word. It seems to me that when we cant physically hold the ones we love, letting go of all the pain and hurt is really difficult because somehow th...	a4l	2	671	Oct 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	The nights are the hardest (Preview) Every night is the same. I sleep only a couple of hours and then my mind starts racing. What am I missing? What could I say? Do? What would turn my son's situation around? How much worse is it going to get? Do I kick him out? Would that help him hit his bottom or would I lose him? I've been sitting here rea...	Optimist	7	867	Oct 14, 2015 by serenity47
	RUNNING AWAY (Preview) My AD is in a down ward spiral again. Another job loss which came as no surprise. I am trying to reframe it in my mind as one step closer to her bottom. I don't know. I do know I am struggling a lot today. Her solution is to relocate again with a "fresh" start. I believe where ever you go there...	serenity47	12	756	Oct 14, 2015 by serenity47
	FYI Only - For Educational Purposes (Preview) I don't debate about how the disease that brought us together is classified and am posting this for informational purposes only. I am one who wants to keep understanding all I can about the disease so I can 'battle it accordingly'.... (((Hugs))) to the MIP Family!! http://www.nbcnews.com/id/441...	Iamhere	0	606	Oct 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	How far is too far? (Preview) Hi there, I have been dealing with a situation and would like some input, if you're up for it! AH and I went to a sporting event out of town. AH got hammered and he is a very angry, obnoxious drunk but his behavior is mainly directed at me. Short story without going into too much detail was later in the evenin...	BuccaneerGirl	8	725	Oct 14, 2015 by serenity47
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.