The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"The alcoholic cannot be forced to get sober." The spouse: "But I've tried everything. He won't listen to reason. I've yelled and complained, paid the bills, threatened to leave--nothing works, of course not. This is YOU applying the force, and that never works. I suggest you STOP taking action. The only force that can change the alcoholic's pattern is the pressure that builds up inside him when the family refuses to react any longer. When he can't count on your helping him, when you wont assuage his guilt by fighting with him, and you refuse to get him out of trouble--then he'll be compelled to face up to things. In other words, try INACTION instead of constantly figuring out SOMETHING TO DO about him."
It is not easy to restrain ourselves from reacting to what others do that seems to affect us. A healthy detachment brings about the very changes we were powerless to make by continually fighting the problem.
"God helps those who don't try to take over His work."
Have a wonderful Columbus Day Today -
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Thanks Debbie- I love this meditation and principle as I found that it works in all my affairs. "Do not just do something sit there" is an important slogan for me. The reason for this is that I have time to reflect, listen to the small voice within and then act and not react. The action is then well thought out and reflects a healthy , responsible attitude and action. Thanks for sharing
"I have tried EVERYTHING, and she is still drinking!" sure sounded like me when I arrived at Alanon! I am still working on practicing inaction, and so far, it is working very well!
Have a beautiful day, everyone!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Ah shucks.......love this program and you all here as I always 'hear' exactly what I need to just 'be me' for this day.
I just posted here a day or two ago that when the alcohol is removed, there is still the 'isms'......fighting those is almost harder - so I am in need of inaction and self-care just for today!
Thank you Debb for the share and your ESH!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Deb. Inaction is a very very tough one for me when it comes to my child. I honestly need to duct tape my mouth. Why I keep saying the same thing over and over again is astounding! It was a difficult weekend around here. For today inaction is my choice .
Seriously needed to read this one and will again and again. Inaction. Like remain calm don't react. I spent the last month reacting to my qualifier picking back up... Did no good. I am trying inaction the last two days and I feel better little by little
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
