Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Lovingpeace · Lovingpeace

I have been living with my A husband for three years and known him for four and a half years.We met while doing our undergraduate studies and I found out he was an alcoholic when we were still dating ,I thought my love for him would stop him from drinking.I did everything possible to stop him but how naïve I...

Britta · Britta

So my ah has relapsed and he wants to get help again. That part I'm happy about as long as he follows through. What I'm so angry about is that yesterday was my birthday and he didn't remember. He didnt say happy birthday, he didnt get me anything. I do nt care about gifts but an acknowledgement would have be...

mjferg · mjferg

Well I haven't posted in a while, I have been very busy making changes that are best for me! I think for the first time in my life I am getting to know who I am and what I want. I have become very uncomfortable with old behaviors, I can't do it anymore, I don't want to do it anymore. I am growing and changing a lot...

lookingup · lookingup

Very interesting posts here I've enjoyed reading and can relate to all,I'm still 100%. Disconnected from my abf,for how long we'll I dunno we do run into each other but I'll deal with that when time comes or cross that bridge,he isn't the same man I went with 8 yrs ago,confusing to me he looks like the sam...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I thought I completely bombed my interview on Thursday that poor lady I interviewed with must have thought I had a screw loose. I showed up at the wrong campus to start my interview off, so I was late for the actual interview .. lol. Then I had a pounding headache I'm sure from stress, hormones and lac...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hello MIP Family....It seems my head-cold some how got into one of my eyes... So - I typically wear tri-focal contacts, and can't wear them. I have one good eye right now and my glasses are missing. Since I am a frequent flyer, thought I better share so nobody would wonder where I was at. (((Hugs))) to a...

Peace warrier · Peace warrier

I have attended alanon over 15 years ago. Probably woudl have benefited from it since childhood and certainly could have continued participating all these years. Very helpful so not sure why it is taking me this long to get back and it is on recommendation from my therapist. I lost daughter to the dise...

Fooled · Fooled

When my AH was discharged from rehab he was given the tools to help manage his recovery. I was given nothing besides the number to his sobriety coach and the direction to pay attention to the warning signs. It was suggested that I try alanon but there was no meetings in a 20 mile radius, I couldn't fit t...

manas · manas

Apologies to those who feel this is repeating but I do have many questions on my mind as my A is coming out of rehab. Unfortunately, I'll probably keep coming back this next week as he is coming out of rehab on 11th or so. I'm doing really well with my limited Al Anon skills (no F 2 Fs here), online Al Anon chat...

Inga · Inga

Hello friends: OK honesty wanted here.....My AH sometimes says to calm he down, "do you want some of my bourban"? and I say OK. Then I'm out out of it. GASP. I hate when this happens, but I admit it has happened several times. Has this happened to anyone else? How do I handle this? Do I need...

joker · joker

I went to a face to face al-anon last night and it was great! I was able to talk about my feelings. Afterwards, I had a wake up moment. I had been feeling like a victim-feeling bad, and then all of a sudden, I saw my part in the alcoholic relationship. What was my part? What did I say or do that made the situatio...

racer411 · racer411

I am a new member and living with an AH. I have really been struggling with his lying about finances recently. He has recently starting coming to me to talk about situations around finances, which he had not done until after the fact until about a month ago. But during these conversations about finance...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So A's brother (the one he lives with)'s dog had puppies, 12 of them, and they were due to be collected by their respective new parents today, and daughter and still hadn't been to see the little fluff balls. So yesterday he caught trains and buses to come here (it takes him 2 hours) so that i could drive w...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 5 speaks about how we feel when we begin working the Steps It acknowledges all l the " irrational fear" we hav regarding having our "character defects" removed. It points out that many of us thought we would end like a chunk of Swiss cheese" compl...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Personally to me judgements do not help only hinder growth, if i feel judged i feel hurt and/or rejected, i need to remember that for others too Especially in recovery. I am not very judgmental so its not as hard for me Except maybe about my Xah then my judgements come out in full force They are based on my...

el-cee · el-cee

I got a bit of a reminder yesterday, from a drinker in my life, that this disease is still alive and well and waiting for my guard to drop. I got an invitation to rush in and ' help' i was tempted. When its your son, its like these Mother alarm bells that ring. I was conditioned by my own upbringing along with s...

CFGirl70 · CFGirl70

I have been married for 20 years, however for the last year my husband and I have been separated. We have been living separately since last January. After 4 years of dealing with his alcoholism, I filed for divorce. He has not hit rock bottom, despite 3 detoxes, 2 inpatient rehabs, losing me and his dau...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't have to like it or even agree with it however it really does. It's always a bigger picture thing than I can see. My assignment ended so that kind of sucks however it's ok to. It was starting to feel really painful just the whole waiting thing. The best thing about the job is the people and I know t...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

I wanted space. Peace. Freedom to think what I want, manage my day in my own way, have my relationships, talk to who I'd like and not be micromanaged. I asked for it and more. I put in a boundary. So far, my AH is either respecting it or just ignoring me for punishment. Either way...I have some room no...

Dawn1118 · Dawn1118

I need some guidance.....I am leaving my husband after 39 years and I feel guilty. I am 60 he is 65. He is an addict in every sense of the word and I have been a co-dependent all these years. I have finally gotten the nerve to tell him I want out. I am and have had counseling for the last 20 years and I have l...

joker · joker

I have been obsessing about the alcoholic. I want to call him and really see if he is at work. My mind keeps saying he is lying about working and he drinking. Last night I was obsessed that I texted him and texted him. He finally called and he was mad. He said I am not drinking and I am in the town by his camp, whe...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about the Slogan "THINK". The writer suggests that it caused confusion in the beginning as we are told through the ESH of others that our own stinking thinking often caused us problems in our daily life. The writers says clarity for this slogan came when he/she heard a...

Fooled · Fooled

I am just lost. My anxiety is just out of control. Trust is gone. I am angry. I was directed to this forum by my Husbands sobriety coach. He has been out of inpatient about a month. I could not go to the facility family discharge program because I couldn't get the time off work and they only offe...

el-cee · el-cee

Self pity has been such a destructive, negative shortcoming for me. Feeling like the victim of my relationships has kept me guarded and defensive and it keeps people out of my life. Its fear based and its a choice for me. For example if someone is short or curt with me I can go into my old pattern of feeling...

lookingup · lookingup

He cooked a nice breakfast and got his things together and loaded in his car,said his goodbyes ,bittersweet I guess is how I see it,it is hard for me to except him for who he is what he has become he was doing so good staying sober 2 years ago with no recovery program it's like he went into a tail spin and down h...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

We had a great day together -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Tuesday 1st of March 2016 04:13:47 PM

joker · joker

I was thinking of acceptance and I came up with a list of behaviors that active alcoholism displays and when it happens I should not be surprised. 1. They will lie right to your face they are not drunk or drinking 2. The drinks is more important than anything in the world 3. They will steal, borrow (if low...

joker · joker

I have been working really hard on staying focused on myself and reading a lot of al-anon literature, AA big book and just trying to let go. I got the best news today from my ABF, he is working this weekend! I am so, so happy! I am so fed up with this drinking and talking to himself and being drunk 24 hours a day...

Just Kris · Just Kris

Hello, I'm new here. I am so appreciative of the online option because I know I'd get the 3rd degree of questioning if I attempted to go to face-to-face meetings. My husband is very anti-counseling or anti-tell others about our problems. The short version is this is my second marriage. My first wa...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Stood up to boyfriend yesterday for behavior of his towards me that i felt was unacceptable. Looking out for number one-ME. Wont bore you with many detailes. Just that boyfriend had angry exchange with strange woman i didnt know about money. Saw a side of boyfriend had never seen.. He hastly decided t...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

This morning I was driving to work and the "Stand By You" song came on by (Rachel Planten? Maybe) I heard the following line-- "I'm going to stand by you, even if I don't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you..." My first thought was, "Oh, she needs al-anon."...

joker · joker

I just had a moment of clarity. Who am I? I see that I try and hide myself to please others. I want others to see me in a good light! I am afraid of people seeing my anger! I am an angry, angry person. I try and not show that side to anyone! I am afraid to stand up for me, say that I am angry, that I do not deserve this!...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Got out of bed at 5:30Am to walk the puppies in the morning first light and then back into the house to do the other stuff; you know the support the spouse stuff and take care of myself stuff and now I'm disappointed? Made breakfast (cooking style) and served it with fresh coffee and then when it was d...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I began live classes this week and OH what a difference to my spirit already. It's SO good to have a reason to get dressed, take a little pride in my appearance, converse with real people, it's magic. it's been a long, long stretch of on-line study (It was never meant to happen and ended up stretching for 7...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses Step 4, and how it brings about the awareness of our part in the disease. The writer shares that much of their behavior was extremely immature and then goes on to share a lovely list of what they consider mature behavior. While the answer may be different for each of us, askin...

missmeliss · missmeliss

There's a lady who lives directly opposite me who has some clear mental health issues. I feel for her, she's sweet and friendly one minute and then in the middle of the street screaming and arguing with rocks, or thin air, or her own foot, or...you get the idea. Schizophrenia or something alike I guess,...

joker · joker

Drama, drama, never ends with my ABF. He is back at work and I have kept my distance and conversations to a minimum. I do not want to hear any more lies and BS from him. I did text him and said clearly, you need to drink elsewhere (hotel room or elsewhere) as I can not deal with your drinking anymore. As you kn...

lookingup · lookingup

What if h don't leave?theres my what ifs again,he may not,I'll just ask him nicely again? Then he will still try to use me ,my being nice etc,,,good hearted ness and my sister will fall sorry or bad for him ,I done talked to her about it and told her to not say a thing when I ask him to leave she bad to say ...I'm...

lookingup · lookingup

My thoughts are .....your not working,don't work,you got it made here just constantly studying on where his next hit is gonna come from or how he is gonna afford it ,beer in my fridge ,and not a cent for a pack of cigs,I feel played like a fiddle ,and he ain't letting up,. Now my thinking is I'm sick of this ,...

lookingup · lookingup

S-save M-motherO-obsessO-ownT-take abuseH-HP (be his or let him be your tin God)E-expectR-react What's the opposites to these ? Please any body ?? Gonna be my tool for today,,,,,my abf not wanting to leave he is being so nice and helpful,and I'm feeling bad sorry for him,but I need my...

lookingup · lookingup

So many diff. Personalities going on at once ,sister is fine now after a nite of drama and chaos with daughter,she is running about acting and talking very positive things she is gonna do,which I've heard the wind blow before,and abf has retired to bed early afternoon when his car didn't sale and no mon...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's reading discusses the marvelous tool that is CAL (Conference Approved Literature) and what a benefit it has been to the writer's life. It points out that although opening up to others took time and multiple meetings, she was able to engage with the program from the very beginning by reading t...

Xxtitchxx89 · Xxtitchxx89

rehab ahhh :( My partner when to rehab today we have been together 5 years have a 2 and a half year old, basically since I have know him alcohol and drugs have been a big part of his life that's got a lot worse the last two years where he will literally go on a 3 or maybe 4 day binge have a hangover for 3 days then d...

lookingup · lookingup

Sit and wonder,lol I have to laugh about it cause I'm so darn exhausted abf will be here until tomorrow,I know a lot of you prolly remembers him ,he is my ex old abf from way back in 2009 I have been rereading old posts from back then I went under diff. Usernames all them posts and replies were all still intac...

lookingup · lookingup

meetings...........?????????>>>>>>

lookingup · lookingup

I told my addict bf he needed to go somewhere else to stay awhile until the drama. Settled down around here ,just way to much for me to deal with 2 addicts living in my home is a nightmare,he isn't likening it having to leave but so far he has been nice,I told him he could go to his old bosses house but he said NO...

lookingup · lookingup

I've lost or forgotten old usernames and passwords for this board,are there any way I can retrieve them back so that I can go back and read my old posts from yrs ago ???? Thank you ,lu ive had at least 3 or 4 usernames and passwords from over the years but don't have them now. Need help please . Lu

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

HIRED FOR 8HR SHIFT COLD CALLING FOR HOME SERVICES COMPANY. LOCATION WAS PERFECT BUT THE NEW OWNERS BREATHED DOWN OUR NECKS. tHERE WERE QUOTAS INPOSSIBLE TO MEET. tHE COMPUTORS KEPT MESSING UP AND THE LEAD GENERATER PROGRAM KEPT CALLING THE SAME PEOPLE. MUCH ITRATATION AND FRUSTRATION, OFFICE NOT...

joker · joker

I was reading Al-Anon literature this morning and the word Choices came to me. What are my choices? I thought hard about it and came up with a list: 1. Ask for help (call police, domestic violence help line, woman shelter, AA, Al-Anon, sponsor, friend, post on board here, let someone know what is happen...

Crau · Crau

If only I wasn't so passive he said. But what he didn't know is that when I wasn't, he didn't remember or picked a fight or threatened to leave. If only I wasn't so enabling his family said. But they couldn't see was what my day to day life was with him because they were so far away; all the times I put up boun...

Britta · Britta

My husband has relapsed and hes back to his old self. Sweet as can be when sober but mean as all hell (verbally) when drinking. I realize I love only part of him and I hate what he becomes when hes drinking. Hes been completely drunk the last 2 nights and I dont want to be treated that way anymore. Really just...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Today's reading brings up that difficult concept of detaching with love. In the reading it is suggested that this is important for US-- that until we are able to lovingly detach we are bound to the past and moving forward in life is very difficult. The opening sentences are about how the reader saw so...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, As some of you know I started a new job last week. It's been an eventful week at the new workplace. As I suspected my new boss is an ACOA. She got word that her biological father died this week. He left her and her brother when they were very small with their mother who was a violent alcoholic. M...

joker · joker

Its been another hellish 5 days of alcoholic using. He came home from work Thursday night and went straight to the bar. He did not come into the house. I went to bed and woke up at 3 am. He was still not home but I had a good laugh. I thought for sure he would make the liquor store before 2 am, he needs his alcohol...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello all, I went to an open meeting and then to a step meeting. Tonight I was at the step meeting for just the second time and shared with the group that I have spoken my peace to my husband this past week. I had told him that I was seeking recovery, that I hoped he would seek it for himself also because my f...

Tired-of-it · Tired-of-it

I mean, he was diagnosed with Barretts Esophagus and told to "Wien" off alcohol and lay off pop. So what does he do? Spends the rest of the day after the Upper endoscopy, eating everything in sight. (junk food) And I am not sure, but i THINK he drank a little. Thursday he drank his usual 1/2 a 5th...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've always been terrible at taking care of myself. Last week I got really sick with a bad cold and I had to stay home from work for a day and for several days I couldn't speak much (lost my voice) and had to take things really slow. I think it was my HPs way of telling me to listen and learn. I listened to my b...

Tired-of-it · Tired-of-it

Sooo, My AH and I are in a church that has small satalite Home Churches, like Bible studies. We get together once a week, and then go to the "big" church on Sunday with other home churches. This keeps it kinda nice, cause you have the feel of a small church when you are within a larger church. I a...

outlandergirl · outlandergirl

I'm so glad I found this site. I'm new to this site but not new to alanon. I've been reading a lot of the posts and the words are like water for someone dying of thirst. I work in a treatment center so I'm around just barely treated alcoholism every day...I've got some time in AA, which is where I've spent...

lookingup · lookingup

My addict sister is in another crises with her oldest daughter which is 18 and lives out on her own with a healthy boyfriend,so to try and stay out of the drama and chaos of a/ sister and her being very emotional and crying can't eat,etc all on account of her daughters bad attitude toward her,says her moms...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Between a rock and a hard place! (Preview) I have been living with my A husband for three years and known him for four and a half years.We met while doing our undergraduate studies and I found out he was an alcoholic when we were still dating ,I thought my love for him would stop him from drinking.I did everything possible to stop him but how naïve I...	Lovingpeace	5	724	Mar 6, 2016 by Lyne
	Need to vent (Preview) So my ah has relapsed and he wants to get help again. That part I'm happy about as long as he follows through. What I'm so angry about is that yesterday was my birthday and he didn't remember. He didnt say happy birthday, he didnt get me anything. I do nt care about gifts but an acknowledgement would have be...	Britta	5	462	Mar 6, 2016 by Breakingfree
	living my life! (Preview) Well I haven't posted in a while, I have been very busy making changes that are best for me! I think for the first time in my life I am getting to know who I am and what I want. I have become very uncomfortable with old behaviors, I can't do it anymore, I don't want to do it anymore. I am growing and changing a lot...	mjferg	4	379	Mar 6, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Reading posts (Preview) Very interesting posts here I've enjoyed reading and can relate to all,I'm still 100%. Disconnected from my abf,for how long we'll I dunno we do run into each other but I'll deal with that when time comes or cross that bridge,he isn't the same man I went with 8 yrs ago,confusing to me he looks like the sam...	lookingup	3	381	Mar 6, 2016 by lookingup
	Potentially Good News (Preview) So I thought I completely bombed my interview on Thursday that poor lady I interviewed with must have thought I had a screw loose. I showed up at the wrong campus to start my interview off, so I was late for the actual interview .. lol. Then I had a pounding headache I'm sure from stress, hormones and lac...	SerenityRUS	6	483	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Back Soon All - Eye Infection (Preview) Hello MIP Family....It seems my head-cold some how got into one of my eyes... So - I typically wear tri-focal contacts, and can't wear them. I have one good eye right now and my glasses are missing. Since I am a frequent flyer, thought I better share so nobody would wonder where I was at. (((Hugs))) to a...	Iamhere	5	369	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	New to this forum (Preview) I have attended alanon over 15 years ago. Probably woudl have benefited from it since childhood and certainly could have continued participating all these years. Very helpful so not sure why it is taking me this long to get back and it is on recommendation from my therapist. I lost daughter to the dise...	Peace warrier	3	329	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Its a start (Preview) When my AH was discharged from rehab he was given the tools to help manage his recovery. I was given nothing besides the number to his sobriety coach and the direction to pay attention to the warning signs. It was suggested that I try alanon but there was no meetings in a 20 mile radius, I couldn't fit t...	Fooled	10	530	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Should the A stay with me or with his Sister? (Preview) Apologies to those who feel this is repeating but I do have many questions on my mind as my A is coming out of rehab. Unfortunately, I'll probably keep coming back this next week as he is coming out of rehab on 11th or so. I'm doing really well with my limited Al Anon skills (no F 2 Fs here), online Al Anon chat...	manas	15	756	Mar 6, 2016 by manas
	Does anyone feel so depressed THEY drink? (Preview) Hello friends: OK honesty wanted here.....My AH sometimes says to calm he down, "do you want some of my bourban"? and I say OK. Then I'm out out of it. GASP. I hate when this happens, but I admit it has happened several times. Has this happened to anyone else? How do I handle this? Do I need...	Inga	24	875	Mar 6, 2016 by Inga
	what is my part (Preview) I went to a face to face al-anon last night and it was great! I was able to talk about my feelings. Afterwards, I had a wake up moment. I had been feeling like a victim-feeling bad, and then all of a sudden, I saw my part in the alcoholic relationship. What was my part? What did I say or do that made the situatio...	joker	3	564	Mar 5, 2016 by Mirandac
	Lying (Preview) I am a new member and living with an AH. I have really been struggling with his lying about finances recently. He has recently starting coming to me to talk about situations around finances, which he had not done until after the fact until about a month ago. But during these conversations about finance...	racer411	6	549	Mar 5, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	This one is about A (Preview) So A's brother (the one he lives with)'s dog had puppies, 12 of them, and they were due to be collected by their respective new parents today, and daughter and still hadn't been to see the little fluff balls. So yesterday he caught trains and buses to come here (it takes him 2 hours) so that i could drive w...	missmeliss	12	670	Mar 5, 2016 by Fairlee
	Courage to Change reading 3-5 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 5 speaks about how we feel when we begin working the Steps It acknowledges all l the " irrational fear" we hav regarding having our "character defects" removed. It points out that many of us thought we would end like a chunk of Swiss cheese" compl...	hotrod	1	372	Mar 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Judgements (Preview) Personally to me judgements do not help only hinder growth, if i feel judged i feel hurt and/or rejected, i need to remember that for others too Especially in recovery. I am not very judgmental so its not as hard for me Except maybe about my Xah then my judgements come out in full force They are based on my...	Mirandac	5	469	Mar 4, 2016 by Mirandac
	Humility (Preview) I got a bit of a reminder yesterday, from a drinker in my life, that this disease is still alive and well and waiting for my guard to drop. I got an invitation to rush in and ' help' i was tempted. When its your son, its like these Mother alarm bells that ring. I was conditioned by my own upbringing along with s...	el-cee	7	495	Mar 4, 2016 by LinSC
	Need advice... (Preview) I have been married for 20 years, however for the last year my husband and I have been separated. We have been living separately since last January. After 4 years of dealing with his alcoholism, I filed for divorce. He has not hit rock bottom, despite 3 detoxes, 2 inpatient rehabs, losing me and his dau...	CFGirl70	4	526	Mar 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Everything really happens for a reason .. (Preview) I don't have to like it or even agree with it however it really does. It's always a bigger picture thing than I can see. My assignment ended so that kind of sucks however it's ok to. It was starting to feel really painful just the whole waiting thing. The best thing about the job is the people and I know t...	SerenityRUS	5	547	Mar 4, 2016 by newleaf66
	change kicks up the anxiety doesn't it? (Preview) I wanted space. Peace. Freedom to think what I want, manage my day in my own way, have my relationships, talk to who I'd like and not be micromanaged. I asked for it and more. I put in a boundary. So far, my AH is either respecting it or just ignoring me for punishment. Either way...I have some room no...	newleaf66	9	603	Mar 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	I am new here (Preview) I need some guidance.....I am leaving my husband after 39 years and I feel guilty. I am 60 he is 65. He is an addict in every sense of the word and I have been a co-dependent all these years. I have finally gotten the nerve to tell him I want out. I am and have had counseling for the last 20 years and I have l...	Dawn1118	7	695	Mar 4, 2016 by Jerry F
	Obsessing again (Preview) I have been obsessing about the alcoholic. I want to call him and really see if he is at work. My mind keeps saying he is lying about working and he drinking. Last night I was obsessed that I texted him and texted him. He finally called and he was mad. He said I am not drinking and I am in the town by his camp, whe...	joker	2	521	Mar 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/4/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about the Slogan "THINK". The writer suggests that it caused confusion in the beginning as we are told through the ESH of others that our own stinking thinking often caused us problems in our daily life. The writers says clarity for this slogan came when he/she heard a...	Iamhere	1	465	Mar 4, 2016 by hotrod
	New to this but not new to dealing with it (Preview) I am just lost. My anxiety is just out of control. Trust is gone. I am angry. I was directed to this forum by my Husbands sobriety coach. He has been out of inpatient about a month. I could not go to the facility family discharge program because I couldn't get the time off work and they only offe...	Fooled	5	488	Mar 4, 2016 by hotrod
	Self pity is the enemy (Preview) Self pity has been such a destructive, negative shortcoming for me. Feeling like the victim of my relationships has kept me guarded and defensive and it keeps people out of my life. Its fear based and its a choice for me. For example if someone is short or curt with me I can go into my old pattern of feeling...	el-cee	15	1417	Mar 4, 2016 by el-cee
	Abf has moved out (Preview) He cooked a nice breakfast and got his things together and loaded in his car,said his goodbyes ,bittersweet I guess is how I see it,it is hard for me to except him for who he is what he has become he was doing so good staying sober 2 years ago with no recovery program it's like he went into a tail spin and down h...	lookingup	4	501	Mar 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Pina Air Museum (Preview) We had a great day together -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Tuesday 1st of March 2016 04:13:47 PM	Cathyinaz	10	686	Mar 3, 2016 by Jen61
	active alcoholism behaviors (Preview) I was thinking of acceptance and I came up with a list of behaviors that active alcoholism displays and when it happens I should not be surprised. 1. They will lie right to your face they are not drunk or drinking 2. The drinks is more important than anything in the world 3. They will steal, borrow (if low...	joker	9	642	Mar 3, 2016 by Bettina2
	Feeling of joy (Preview) I have been working really hard on staying focused on myself and reading a lot of al-anon literature, AA big book and just trying to let go. I got the best news today from my ABF, he is working this weekend! I am so, so happy! I am so fed up with this drinking and talking to himself and being drunk 24 hours a day...	joker	1	478	Mar 3, 2016 by Bettina2
	New here - introducing myself (Preview) Hello, I'm new here. I am so appreciative of the online option because I know I'd get the 3rd degree of questioning if I attempted to go to face-to-face meetings. My husband is very anti-counseling or anti-tell others about our problems. The short version is this is my second marriage. My first wa...	Just Kris	4	554	Mar 3, 2016 by Mattie
	PROUD OF SELF (Preview) Stood up to boyfriend yesterday for behavior of his towards me that i felt was unacceptable. Looking out for number one-ME. Wont bore you with many detailes. Just that boyfriend had angry exchange with strange woman i didnt know about money. Saw a side of boyfriend had never seen.. He hastly decided t...	YARNCRAZY	1	360	Mar 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Funny of the day. (Preview) This morning I was driving to work and the "Stand By You" song came on by (Rachel Planten? Maybe) I heard the following line-- "I'm going to stand by you, even if I don't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you..." My first thought was, "Oh, she needs al-anon."...	Bloodshotbetty	5	492	Mar 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	who am I (Preview) I just had a moment of clarity. Who am I? I see that I try and hide myself to please others. I want others to see me in a good light! I am afraid of people seeing my anger! I am an angry, angry person. I try and not show that side to anyone! I am afraid to stand up for me, say that I am angry, that I do not deserve this!...	joker	2	330	Mar 3, 2016 by missmeliss
	Hurt?....not quite...disappointed? let me tell you. (Preview) Got out of bed at 5:30Am to walk the puppies in the morning first light and then back into the house to do the other stuff; you know the support the spouse stuff and take care of myself stuff and now I'm disappointed? Made breakfast (cooking style) and served it with fresh coffee and then when it was d...	Jerry F	14	628	Mar 3, 2016 by el-cee
	And in happier news... (Preview) I began live classes this week and OH what a difference to my spirit already. It's SO good to have a reason to get dressed, take a little pride in my appearance, converse with real people, it's magic. it's been a long, long stretch of on-line study (It was never meant to happen and ended up stretching for 7...	missmeliss	2	448	Mar 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/3/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses Step 4, and how it brings about the awareness of our part in the disease. The writer shares that much of their behavior was extremely immature and then goes on to share a lovely list of what they consider mature behavior. While the answer may be different for each of us, askin...	Iamhere	3	421	Mar 3, 2016 by newleaf66
	Look at all these circuses that aren't mine!!! (Preview) There's a lady who lives directly opposite me who has some clear mental health issues. I feel for her, she's sweet and friendly one minute and then in the middle of the street screaming and arguing with rocks, or thin air, or her own foot, or...you get the idea. Schizophrenia or something alike I guess,...	missmeliss	3	455	Mar 3, 2016 by hotrod
	Not talking the blame (Preview) Drama, drama, never ends with my ABF. He is back at work and I have kept my distance and conversations to a minimum. I do not want to hear any more lies and BS from him. I did text him and said clearly, you need to drink elsewhere (hotel room or elsewhere) as I can not deal with your drinking anymore. As you kn...	joker	0	375	Mar 3, 2016 by joker
	What if he don't leave,jade is what I'm useing (Preview) What if h don't leave?theres my what ifs again,he may not,I'll just ask him nicely again? Then he will still try to use me ,my being nice etc,,,good hearted ness and my sister will fall sorry or bad for him ,I done talked to her about it and told her to not say a thing when I ask him to leave she bad to say ...I'm...	lookingup	0	377	Mar 3, 2016 by lookingup
	Am I having stinking thinking or what (Preview) My thoughts are .....your not working,don't work,you got it made here just constantly studying on where his next hit is gonna come from or how he is gonna afford it ,beer in my fridge ,and not a cent for a pack of cigs,I feel played like a fiddle ,and he ain't letting up,. Now my thinking is I'm sick of this ,...	lookingup	0	356	Mar 3, 2016 by lookingup
	My tools for today (Preview) S-save M-motherO-obsessO-ownT-take abuseH-HP (be his or let him be your tin God)E-expectR-react What's the opposites to these ? Please any body ?? Gonna be my tool for today,,,,,my abf not wanting to leave he is being so nice and helpful,and I'm feeling bad sorry for him,but I need my...	lookingup	3	377	Mar 3, 2016 by hotrod
	Updates on me (Preview) So many diff. Personalities going on at once ,sister is fine now after a nite of drama and chaos with daughter,she is running about acting and talking very positive things she is gonna do,which I've heard the wind blow before,and abf has retired to bed early afternoon when his car didn't sale and no mon...	lookingup	4	421	Mar 3, 2016 by Bettina2
	Courage To Change 2/3 (Preview) Today's reading discusses the marvelous tool that is CAL (Conference Approved Literature) and what a benefit it has been to the writer's life. It points out that although opening up to others took time and multiple meetings, she was able to engage with the program from the very beginning by reading t...	missmeliss	5	541	Mar 2, 2016 by Shakti
	Partner rehab ahhh (Preview) rehab ahhh :( My partner when to rehab today we have been together 5 years have a 2 and a half year old, basically since I have know him alcohol and drugs have been a big part of his life that's got a lot worse the last two years where he will literally go on a 3 or maybe 4 day binge have a hangover for 3 days then d...	Xxtitchxx89	14	617	Mar 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	I'm exhausted doing nothing (Preview) Sit and wonder,lol I have to laugh about it cause I'm so darn exhausted abf will be here until tomorrow,I know a lot of you prolly remembers him ,he is my ex old abf from way back in 2009 I have been rereading old posts from back then I went under diff. Usernames all them posts and replies were all still intac...	lookingup	0	600	Mar 2, 2016 by lookingup
	Phone meetings (Preview) meetings...........?????????>>>>>>	lookingup	4	1781	Mar 2, 2016 by lookingup
	Distressed (Preview) I told my addict bf he needed to go somewhere else to stay awhile until the drama. Settled down around here ,just way to much for me to deal with 2 addicts living in my home is a nightmare,he isn't likening it having to leave but so far he has been nice,I told him he could go to his old bosses house but he said NO...	lookingup	2	380	Mar 2, 2016 by lookingup
	Forgotten passwords (Preview) I've lost or forgotten old usernames and passwords for this board,are there any way I can retrieve them back so that I can go back and read my old posts from yrs ago ???? Thank you ,lu ive had at least 3 or 4 usernames and passwords from over the years but don't have them now. Need help please . Lu	lookingup	9	435	Mar 2, 2016 by lookingup
	QUITT JOB (Preview) HIRED FOR 8HR SHIFT COLD CALLING FOR HOME SERVICES COMPANY. LOCATION WAS PERFECT BUT THE NEW OWNERS BREATHED DOWN OUR NECKS. tHERE WERE QUOTAS INPOSSIBLE TO MEET. tHE COMPUTORS KEPT MESSING UP AND THE LEAD GENERATER PROGRAM KEPT CALLING THE SAME PEOPLE. MUCH ITRATATION AND FRUSTRATION, OFFICE NOT...	YARNCRAZY	2	341	Mar 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	choices (Preview) I was reading Al-Anon literature this morning and the word Choices came to me. What are my choices? I thought hard about it and came up with a list: 1. Ask for help (call police, domestic violence help line, woman shelter, AA, Al-Anon, sponsor, friend, post on board here, let someone know what is happen...	joker	2	419	Mar 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	If only... (Preview) If only I wasn't so passive he said. But what he didn't know is that when I wasn't, he didn't remember or picked a fight or threatened to leave. If only I wasn't so enabling his family said. But they couldn't see was what my day to day life was with him because they were so far away; all the times I put up boun...	Crau	6	486	Mar 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	How do you know when its over (Preview) My husband has relapsed and hes back to his old self. Sweet as can be when sober but mean as all hell (verbally) when drinking. I realize I love only part of him and I hate what he becomes when hes drinking. Hes been completely drunk the last 2 nights and I dont want to be treated that way anymore. Really just...	Britta	3	461	Mar 2, 2016 by Xxtitchxx89
	Hope for Today March 1 (Preview) Today's reading brings up that difficult concept of detaching with love. In the reading it is suggested that this is important for US-- that until we are able to lovingly detach we are bound to the past and moving forward in life is very difficult. The opening sentences are about how the reader saw so...	yanksfan51	6	573	Mar 1, 2016 by Crau
	Could Use Some Help (Preview) Hi Everyone, As some of you know I started a new job last week. It's been an eventful week at the new workplace. As I suspected my new boss is an ACOA. She got word that her biological father died this week. He left her and her brother when they were very small with their mother who was a violent alcoholic. M...	tiredtonite	10	555	Mar 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Giving back the problem to alcoholic (Preview) Its been another hellish 5 days of alcoholic using. He came home from work Thursday night and went straight to the bar. He did not come into the house. I went to bed and woke up at 3 am. He was still not home but I had a good laugh. I thought for sure he would make the liquor store before 2 am, he needs his alcohol...	joker	5	501	Mar 1, 2016 by missmeliss
	f2f questions...I left feeling confused tonight (Preview) Hello all, I went to an open meeting and then to a step meeting. Tonight I was at the step meeting for just the second time and shared with the group that I have spoken my peace to my husband this past week. I had told him that I was seeking recovery, that I hoped he would seek it for himself also because my f...	newleaf66	14	597	Mar 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	I think he is trying to kill himself!! (Preview) I mean, he was diagnosed with Barretts Esophagus and told to "Wien" off alcohol and lay off pop. So what does he do? Spends the rest of the day after the Upper endoscopy, eating everything in sight. (junk food) And I am not sure, but i THINK he drank a little. Thursday he drank his usual 1/2 a 5th...	Tired-of-it	10	819	Mar 1, 2016 by Jerry F
	Feeling uneasy when things are going smoothly (Preview) I've always been terrible at taking care of myself. Last week I got really sick with a bad cold and I had to stay home from work for a day and for several days I couldn't speak much (lost my voice) and had to take things really slow. I think it was my HPs way of telling me to listen and learn. I listened to my b...	KT2015	3	446	Mar 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Intervention..Of sorts (Preview) Sooo, My AH and I are in a church that has small satalite Home Churches, like Bible studies. We get together once a week, and then go to the "big" church on Sunday with other home churches. This keeps it kinda nice, cause you have the feel of a small church when you are within a larger church. I a...	Tired-of-it	6	520	Mar 1, 2016 by Tired-of-it
	New Here (Preview) I'm so glad I found this site. I'm new to this site but not new to alanon. I've been reading a lot of the posts and the words are like water for someone dying of thirst. I work in a treatment center so I'm around just barely treated alcoholism every day...I've got some time in AA, which is where I've spent...	outlandergirl	16	502	Mar 1, 2016 by missmeliss
	Not getting enmeshed (Preview) My addict sister is in another crises with her oldest daughter which is 18 and lives out on her own with a healthy boyfriend,so to try and stay out of the drama and chaos of a/ sister and her being very emotional and crying can't eat,etc all on account of her daughters bad attitude toward her,says her moms...	lookingup	1	397	Feb 29, 2016 by lookingup
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.