Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's reading addresses knowing the difference between HP's will and my own. It points out that struggling to choose one path over another steals our serenity from us. The writer suggests that a desperate urge to act is usually a sign that they are acting out their own will, and a calm certainty is a s...

stj · stj

Recently someone close to me reached out for help for the first time. I told them that if they are going to work on it, then I am going to be right there with them. My first step is finding someplace with long term recovery, but I have no idea where to start. I have a few names and numbers for places near here...

Debb · Debb

I did not want everyone to think that I disappeared because there is something wrong! On the contrary, all that I have learned and absorbed here from all of you has made my life incredibly better, especially having you all as friends. I noticed, as time went on, that all those questions you ask yoursel...

Andie69 · Andie69

Hi all. My boyfriend has just gone into treatment for alcoholism. I was just wondering if Al-Anon is right for me? A little about me, I have been living with alcoholics my entire life starting with my dad. Me myself drink maybe once a year and only about two or three drinks at that. My bf and I have bee...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

Sometimes after a slip up my AH will come to me and apologize. Last night was one of those nights, I was able to detach from him. I had very little interaction with him in that state. This morning he calls me on my way to work to say "sorry" for last night. I struggle with how to respond to him. Tod...

joker · joker

Good morning. I was in meditation this morning and reading some daily readings on co-dependency and I had two thoughts that entered my mind about relationships. My relationships with people (my ABF) is a reflection of me. His drinking and insanity is a reflection of my insanity within me and I react t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone-- There are so many messages of strength and hope in this reading. Much of it is a discussion of the alanon pamphlet "A Guide for the Family of the Alcoholic". The first part of today's reading mentions that there are times that the As in our lives may use some of the di...

jocelgp · jocelgp

i tried tracking how often my husband drinks and the level of alcohol intake (light, moderate, heavy). he does not really drink daily but i can feel his desire to get a drink and i really feel disappointed. i know he wants to have a drink so often ... what stops him sometimes is he knows that i don't really f...

Crau · Crau

I have for so many years kept the truth of my exAbf drinking from so many because I was embarrassed. and then through al anon and sharing my story with those in and out of it; it realized I'm not alone. And the judgement I placed on myself for the choices I made to keep my life to myself until it all when to hell...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

divorce will be final in 5mths,AH is in rehab,havnt and dont see oe speak to him anymoe. he is very ill physically and mentally.his sister taking care of his affairs. im with new sober guy for over 3mths i embrace alanon principles for my life. but do i need face to face meetings anymore. i feel depressed...

KT2015 · KT2015

So I live with my AH and my mother whom I would describe as an untreated Al Anon. My mother has her own place in the basement. The two of them don't get along very well. Wait, let me revise that....when forced to deal directly with each other they are just fine. When I am not present (at work or what not) a...

Lightningfire · Lightningfire

Hi, I'm new to this forum, so if there are previous posts on this topic that would be of benefit, please direct me there! Also, I wasn't sure whether to post this in ACoA or Family forum. Please correct me if I'm in the wrong forum. My mom is nearly 70 and unquestionably an alcoholic. My dad, over 70, is her e...

Gerlinggirl · Gerlinggirl

I have been married 20 years and a year ago filed for divorce after a long 5 years of AH's alcoholism. We have 2 daughters, ages 13 and 16. In December he said he loved me and the girls; 2 weeks later he met a girl and moved in with her. We have not lived together for the last year. 3 weeks ago he got a DWI and t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is not what you are thinking...I need a fix on this site. It has been killing me to not be able to post on here. I guess I have been able to keep up w/ the goings on a bit from my stupid smart phone. I hope I don't sneeze on this computer...wouldn't that be a hoot. My body has been killing me since I came down w/ t...

jocelgp · jocelgp

a few days ago i hate him so much for his behavior & i really wish he'd be gone, i'm thinking about giving up on our marriage. now his mood is changing back to his good self, everything is ok, there's peace in our home. is this how things will be for the rest of my life? peace then chaos (after the drink or c...

joker · joker

I just remembered reading from Toby Rice Drew material on line regarding alcoholism and she says when the alcoholic starts to have problems due to his drinking, rejoice he is nearing his bottom. Well, sure enough the ABF called me on Sunday yesterday and he was drunk and sitting in his vehicle. It was 8...

Fooled · Fooled

For as long as I can remember I have been the receiver of crap. Layers upon layers of crap that weigh me down to the point when I look in the mirror I just see crap. So tired of lugging all that stuff around with me all day long and not being able to make anyone happy. Even now after just surrendering to AH d...

hotrod · hotrod

Not sure whose turn it is to post today so I decided to do it at 2PM ESTThe C2C reading for March 7 points out that when we begin to look at ourselves" honestly", we see that we need to make changes. After a lifetime of living with the disease of attitudes and alcoholism, we have been affected in...

lookingup · lookingup

This is insanity of this desease,in the past he done just that he left with out saying a word just vanished in thin air,this time my neighbor had called him to come over and fix their fridge that had been broken for several mthis,I feel crazy for posting my last post of he left,I'm sorry do sorry for that ,m...

bryalm · bryalm

Hi All; I have been living with an A for 3 years and have been married since August last year. My family and I have known about his issue almost from the get go and have called him on it on occasion (me more so than my folks). During conversations, he has admitted he has a problem and then the next day he feel...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Just got off the phone with my AH. My heart is hurting. By the end of the conversation, I was fairly sure he had been drinking - at 10 am, which is unusual - but as usual, am not totally sure. Doesn't really matter - he acted crazy whether drunk or not. He is so angry that I moved out. One moment he "total...

lookingup · lookingup

How is this done ? After listening to my addicts and seeing them day in day out their talk being mostly about where,how what ever in to get to a doctor or find them a doctor to get what they call their meds,to keep from getting or being dope sick ,even my next door neighbors are in it,it's like it's their exis...

Tired-of-it · Tired-of-it

Well, I think the plan is that One of the 3 guys that mt AH meets with on Wednesday's for bible Study, is going to talk with him. The other guy is going to stay home. This guy is about 15 years older then him (in his 70's) and my AH thinks a lot of him. So Hopefully, my AH will be open minded enough to listen and tak...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Cause there wasn't ever anything I could do about it which drove me insane. My present wife told me this morning that when she was coming home from down town she turned a corner and saw a woman walking on a town side walk with a larger parrot on each shoulder, a puppy in a shopping basket and another on a le...

Rachel Blue · Rachel Blue

hello friends, It has been a turbulent week. I had asked my husband to leave. he did. Came back for one night for a job interview. the next day we had a horrible fight where I said I was completely done. I said to get his own place and a job and a urine test for sobriety or he couldn't come home. So a few d...

Inga · Inga

OK, my AH has been fired from every good job he has ever had for the past 12 years, for being completely irresponsible------(a trait of an alcoholic????? I wonder) .....so he gets drunk every night on his way home from his menial job. Then he screams at me about 3 times a week saying I should divorce him a...

NOGGIN · NOGGIN

I am new to this site, actually I have never posted on any board or chatroom at all but feel so desperate and lost I dont know where to turn.I have been with M for 15 years ( married for a year and half). Id say I noticed a problem with his drink about a year ago which became a constant source of conflict. Becaus...

Shazz · Shazz

My husband has been in out of recovery his whole life for alcoholism and drug addiction. As long as I've known him I have never seen him drink or do drugs until now. I have been seeing symptom's of drug abuse emerging. Nothing tangible just deceitful behavior regarding finances and symptoms which le...

idontevenknow · idontevenknow

How do I know my husband has a drinking problem? I have become so confused. I don't even know what's normal anymore. He drinks beer. Sometimes 3 a night, occasionally 10+ on weekdays. Weekends might be a case or more, depending on what's going on. Sometimes, though, there's a lull. He'll take it easy f...

petert7666 · petert7666

Hey guys, I'm putting out the feelers. I am chairing my first ever Al-anon meeting tomorrow (March 7) The topic is Loneliness & I am looking for a couple of inspirational readings from "Courage to change". Can anybody out there suggest some? Thanks in advance

Fooled · Fooled

My exah is a dry drunk. He doesn't work the steps He says he has a HP but doesn't really do anything about. exah and current AH do not get a long. (No surprise there) Exah is notorious for changing plans and failing to follow through with his obligations to our children. My children 2 are adult an...

Beanie1 · Beanie1

hi, first time I've ever posted on any forum but I suppose that's what desperation does to you?! i have 2 young children and my husband has been drinking out of control for the last 4 years. It started off as just annoying excessive drinking but gradually developed into more. He 'secretly' drinks vodka...

lookingup · lookingup

He left didn't say bye or nothing or anything to anybody just up and left,ha,yes that hurt,and I thought I'd get a bye talk to you later at least,that was a blow,I locked my doors,and want to cry.guess he thought it didn't matter ,ha.im not getting it I guess just got to get past these hurt feelings of feel...

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

I have been feeling even worse, physically, than usual - resulting in increased hopelessness and desperation. I think I have mentioned how awful my family is - and they are the ones I am staying with while trying to figure out my health. Anyways - Friday night I was in such need of support, I reached out t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I entertain myself I swear and seriously there is a reason I'm not allowed out without a chaperone. Even the people at my past work know the story in terms of me keeping it real .. LOL. So this past week well since my assignment ended, I have been spending a lot of girl time with girlfriends in the area and...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 6 speaks about having our " needs met" and that nobody truly knows what's in our mind and heart, unless we express it. It suggests that we cannot expect other people to meet all of our needs even if I make them clear. That was my problem I always thought my hubby coul...

lookingup · lookingup

My abf came over for a visit and cooked breakfast for me and my addict sister,I can't let him move back in ,my sister can't believe I kicked him out knowing he is going to prison in 3 or4 myths for years,sister says its non of her bus.but she can't see how I can kick a man down when he is already down and going to...

Lovingpeace · Lovingpeace

I have been living with my A husband for three years and known him for four and a half years.We met while doing our undergraduate studies and I found out he was an alcoholic when we were still dating ,I thought my love for him would stop him from drinking.I did everything possible to stop him but how naïve I...

Britta · Britta

So my ah has relapsed and he wants to get help again. That part I'm happy about as long as he follows through. What I'm so angry about is that yesterday was my birthday and he didn't remember. He didnt say happy birthday, he didnt get me anything. I do nt care about gifts but an acknowledgement would have be...

mjferg · mjferg

Well I haven't posted in a while, I have been very busy making changes that are best for me! I think for the first time in my life I am getting to know who I am and what I want. I have become very uncomfortable with old behaviors, I can't do it anymore, I don't want to do it anymore. I am growing and changing a lot...

lookingup · lookingup

Very interesting posts here I've enjoyed reading and can relate to all,I'm still 100%. Disconnected from my abf,for how long we'll I dunno we do run into each other but I'll deal with that when time comes or cross that bridge,he isn't the same man I went with 8 yrs ago,confusing to me he looks like the sam...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I thought I completely bombed my interview on Thursday that poor lady I interviewed with must have thought I had a screw loose. I showed up at the wrong campus to start my interview off, so I was late for the actual interview .. lol. Then I had a pounding headache I'm sure from stress, hormones and lac...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hello MIP Family....It seems my head-cold some how got into one of my eyes... So - I typically wear tri-focal contacts, and can't wear them. I have one good eye right now and my glasses are missing. Since I am a frequent flyer, thought I better share so nobody would wonder where I was at. (((Hugs))) to a...

Peace warrier · Peace warrier

I have attended alanon over 15 years ago. Probably woudl have benefited from it since childhood and certainly could have continued participating all these years. Very helpful so not sure why it is taking me this long to get back and it is on recommendation from my therapist. I lost daughter to the dise...

Fooled · Fooled

When my AH was discharged from rehab he was given the tools to help manage his recovery. I was given nothing besides the number to his sobriety coach and the direction to pay attention to the warning signs. It was suggested that I try alanon but there was no meetings in a 20 mile radius, I couldn't fit t...

manas · manas

Apologies to those who feel this is repeating but I do have many questions on my mind as my A is coming out of rehab. Unfortunately, I'll probably keep coming back this next week as he is coming out of rehab on 11th or so. I'm doing really well with my limited Al Anon skills (no F 2 Fs here), online Al Anon chat...

Inga · Inga

Hello friends: OK honesty wanted here.....My AH sometimes says to calm he down, "do you want some of my bourban"? and I say OK. Then I'm out out of it. GASP. I hate when this happens, but I admit it has happened several times. Has this happened to anyone else? How do I handle this? Do I need...

joker · joker

I went to a face to face al-anon last night and it was great! I was able to talk about my feelings. Afterwards, I had a wake up moment. I had been feeling like a victim-feeling bad, and then all of a sudden, I saw my part in the alcoholic relationship. What was my part? What did I say or do that made the situatio...

racer411 · racer411

I am a new member and living with an AH. I have really been struggling with his lying about finances recently. He has recently starting coming to me to talk about situations around finances, which he had not done until after the fact until about a month ago. But during these conversations about finance...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So A's brother (the one he lives with)'s dog had puppies, 12 of them, and they were due to be collected by their respective new parents today, and daughter and still hadn't been to see the little fluff balls. So yesterday he caught trains and buses to come here (it takes him 2 hours) so that i could drive w...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 5 speaks about how we feel when we begin working the Steps It acknowledges all l the " irrational fear" we hav regarding having our "character defects" removed. It points out that many of us thought we would end like a chunk of Swiss cheese" compl...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Personally to me judgements do not help only hinder growth, if i feel judged i feel hurt and/or rejected, i need to remember that for others too Especially in recovery. I am not very judgmental so its not as hard for me Except maybe about my Xah then my judgements come out in full force They are based on my...

el-cee · el-cee

I got a bit of a reminder yesterday, from a drinker in my life, that this disease is still alive and well and waiting for my guard to drop. I got an invitation to rush in and ' help' i was tempted. When its your son, its like these Mother alarm bells that ring. I was conditioned by my own upbringing along with s...

CFGirl70 · CFGirl70

I have been married for 20 years, however for the last year my husband and I have been separated. We have been living separately since last January. After 4 years of dealing with his alcoholism, I filed for divorce. He has not hit rock bottom, despite 3 detoxes, 2 inpatient rehabs, losing me and his dau...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't have to like it or even agree with it however it really does. It's always a bigger picture thing than I can see. My assignment ended so that kind of sucks however it's ok to. It was starting to feel really painful just the whole waiting thing. The best thing about the job is the people and I know t...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

I wanted space. Peace. Freedom to think what I want, manage my day in my own way, have my relationships, talk to who I'd like and not be micromanaged. I asked for it and more. I put in a boundary. So far, my AH is either respecting it or just ignoring me for punishment. Either way...I have some room no...

Dawn1118 · Dawn1118

I need some guidance.....I am leaving my husband after 39 years and I feel guilty. I am 60 he is 65. He is an addict in every sense of the word and I have been a co-dependent all these years. I have finally gotten the nerve to tell him I want out. I am and have had counseling for the last 20 years and I have l...

joker · joker

I have been obsessing about the alcoholic. I want to call him and really see if he is at work. My mind keeps saying he is lying about working and he drinking. Last night I was obsessed that I texted him and texted him. He finally called and he was mad. He said I am not drinking and I am in the town by his camp, whe...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about the Slogan "THINK". The writer suggests that it caused confusion in the beginning as we are told through the ESH of others that our own stinking thinking often caused us problems in our daily life. The writers says clarity for this slogan came when he/she heard a...

Fooled · Fooled

I am just lost. My anxiety is just out of control. Trust is gone. I am angry. I was directed to this forum by my Husbands sobriety coach. He has been out of inpatient about a month. I could not go to the facility family discharge program because I couldn't get the time off work and they only offe...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage To Change 9/3 (Preview) Today's reading addresses knowing the difference between HP's will and my own. It points out that struggling to choose one path over another steals our serenity from us. The writer suggests that a desperate urge to act is usually a sign that they are acting out their own will, and a calm certainty is a s...	missmeliss	2	471	Mar 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	from the beginning- looking for guidance guidance help beginning long term recovery recovery extended stay (Preview) Recently someone close to me reached out for help for the first time. I told them that if they are going to work on it, then I am going to be right there with them. My first step is finding someplace with long term recovery, but I have no idea where to start. I have a few names and numbers for places near here...	stj	2	5925	Mar 9, 2016 by hotrod
	The Gifts That MIP/Al-Anon Has Given Me (Preview) I did not want everyone to think that I disappeared because there is something wrong! On the contrary, all that I have learned and absorbed here from all of you has made my life incredibly better, especially having you all as friends. I noticed, as time went on, that all those questions you ask yoursel...	Debb	5	886	Mar 9, 2016 by el-cee
	Is Al-Anon for me?????? (Preview) Hi all. My boyfriend has just gone into treatment for alcoholism. I was just wondering if Al-Anon is right for me? A little about me, I have been living with alcoholics my entire life starting with my dad. Me myself drink maybe once a year and only about two or three drinks at that. My bf and I have bee...	Andie69	4	552	Mar 8, 2016 by Thorn
	What do you say when they say, "sorry"? (Preview) Sometimes after a slip up my AH will come to me and apologize. Last night was one of those nights, I was able to detach from him. I had very little interaction with him in that state. This morning he calls me on my way to work to say "sorry" for last night. I struggle with how to respond to him. Tod...	CoopsMom	8	863	Mar 8, 2016 by Thorn
	Relationships (Preview) Good morning. I was in meditation this morning and reading some daily readings on co-dependency and I had two thoughts that entered my mind about relationships. My relationships with people (my ABF) is a reflection of me. His drinking and insanity is a reflection of my insanity within me and I react t...	joker	7	989	Mar 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today March 8 (Preview) Good morning everyone-- There are so many messages of strength and hope in this reading. Much of it is a discussion of the alanon pamphlet "A Guide for the Family of the Alcoholic". The first part of today's reading mentions that there are times that the As in our lives may use some of the di...	yanksfan51	2	583	Mar 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	all i want is for him to stop drinking this way (Preview) i tried tracking how often my husband drinks and the level of alcohol intake (light, moderate, heavy). he does not really drink daily but i can feel his desire to get a drink and i really feel disappointed. i know he wants to have a drink so often ... what stops him sometimes is he knows that i don't really f...	jocelgp	9	1291	Mar 8, 2016 by oceanpine
	Telling my story... (Preview) I have for so many years kept the truth of my exAbf drinking from so many because I was embarrassed. and then through al anon and sharing my story with those in and out of it; it realized I'm not alone. And the judgement I placed on myself for the choices I made to keep my life to myself until it all when to hell...	Crau	3	1019	Mar 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	question? (Preview) divorce will be final in 5mths,AH is in rehab,havnt and dont see oe speak to him anymoe. he is very ill physically and mentally.his sister taking care of his affairs. im with new sober guy for over 3mths i embrace alanon principles for my life. but do i need face to face meetings anymore. i feel depressed...	YARNCRAZY	7	468	Mar 8, 2016 by maryjane
	Stuck in the middle.... (Preview) So I live with my AH and my mother whom I would describe as an untreated Al Anon. My mother has her own place in the basement. The two of them don't get along very well. Wait, let me revise that....when forced to deal directly with each other they are just fine. When I am not present (at work or what not) a...	KT2015	4	505	Mar 8, 2016 by KT2015
	Preparing for a visit: any advice on dealing with enabler? (Preview) Hi, I'm new to this forum, so if there are previous posts on this topic that would be of benefit, please direct me there! Also, I wasn't sure whether to post this in ACoA or Family forum. Please correct me if I'm in the wrong forum. My mom is nearly 70 and unquestionably an alcoholic. My dad, over 70, is her e...	Lightningfire	7	589	Mar 8, 2016 by Lightningfire
	Feeling confused (Preview) I have been married 20 years and a year ago filed for divorce after a long 5 years of AH's alcoholism. We have 2 daughters, ages 13 and 16. In December he said he loved me and the girls; 2 weeks later he met a girl and moved in with her. We have not lived together for the last year. 3 weeks ago he got a DWI and t...	Gerlinggirl	3	375	Mar 8, 2016 by Gerlinggirl
	I need a fix... (Preview) It is not what you are thinking...I need a fix on this site. It has been killing me to not be able to post on here. I guess I have been able to keep up w/ the goings on a bit from my stupid smart phone. I hope I don't sneeze on this computer...wouldn't that be a hoot. My body has been killing me since I came down w/ t...	Hoot Nanny	3	428	Mar 7, 2016 by hotrod
	peace then chaos (after the drink or craving), peace then chaos. is this the situation i'm suppose to accept? (Preview) a few days ago i hate him so much for his behavior & i really wish he'd be gone, i'm thinking about giving up on our marriage. now his mood is changing back to his good self, everything is ok, there's peace in our home. is this how things will be for the rest of my life? peace then chaos (after the drink or c...	jocelgp	9	1122	Mar 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Rejoice the alcoholic is falling apart (Preview) I just remembered reading from Toby Rice Drew material on line regarding alcoholism and she says when the alcoholic starts to have problems due to his drinking, rejoice he is nearing his bottom. Well, sure enough the ABF called me on Sunday yesterday and he was drunk and sitting in his vehicle. It was 8...	joker	4	546	Mar 7, 2016 by Jaclyn
	Crap (Preview) For as long as I can remember I have been the receiver of crap. Layers upon layers of crap that weigh me down to the point when I look in the mirror I just see crap. So tired of lugging all that stuff around with me all day long and not being able to make anyone happy. Even now after just surrendering to AH d...	Fooled	6	594	Mar 7, 2016 by Fooled
	C2C 3-7 (Preview) Not sure whose turn it is to post today so I decided to do it at 2PM ESTThe C2C reading for March 7 points out that when we begin to look at ourselves" honestly", we see that we need to make changes. After a lifetime of living with the disease of attitudes and alcoholism, we have been affected in...	hotrod	1	425	Mar 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	He never left (Preview) This is insanity of this desease,in the past he done just that he left with out saying a word just vanished in thin air,this time my neighbor had called him to come over and fix their fridge that had been broken for several mthis,I feel crazy for posting my last post of he left,I'm sorry do sorry for that ,m...	lookingup	1	498	Mar 7, 2016 by Mattie
	Seeking Advice (Preview) Hi All; I have been living with an A for 3 years and have been married since August last year. My family and I have known about his issue almost from the get go and have called him on it on occasion (me more so than my folks). During conversations, he has admitted he has a problem and then the next day he feel...	bryalm	8	682	Mar 7, 2016 by Mattie
	stuck in craziness and the logistics always stump me (Preview) Just got off the phone with my AH. My heart is hurting. By the end of the conversation, I was fairly sure he had been drinking - at 10 am, which is unusual - but as usual, am not totally sure. Doesn't really matter - he acted crazy whether drunk or not. He is so angry that I moved out. One moment he "total...	oceanpine	2	497	Mar 7, 2016 by Bettina2
	Keeping our side of the street clean ???? (Preview) How is this done ? After listening to my addicts and seeing them day in day out their talk being mostly about where,how what ever in to get to a doctor or find them a doctor to get what they call their meds,to keep from getting or being dope sick ,even my next door neighbors are in it,it's like it's their exis...	lookingup	2	480	Mar 7, 2016 by lookingup
	Intervention (of sorts) scheduled for Wednesday (Preview) Well, I think the plan is that One of the 3 guys that mt AH meets with on Wednesday's for bible Study, is going to talk with him. The other guy is going to stay home. This guy is about 15 years older then him (in his 70's) and my AH thinks a lot of him. So Hopefully, my AH will be open minded enough to listen and tak...	Tired-of-it	5	446	Mar 7, 2016 by Tired-of-it
	Feeling compassion and concern and have turned that over to HP (Preview) Cause there wasn't ever anything I could do about it which drove me insane. My present wife told me this morning that when she was coming home from down town she turned a corner and saw a woman walking on a town side walk with a larger parrot on each shoulder, a puppy in a shopping basket and another on a le...	Jerry F	4	399	Mar 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	a positive surprise. (Preview) hello friends, It has been a turbulent week. I had asked my husband to leave. he did. Came back for one night for a job interview. the next day we had a horrible fight where I said I was completely done. I said to get his own place and a job and a urine test for sobriety or he couldn't come home. So a few d...	Rachel Blue	5	328	Mar 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why does my AH say this???? (Preview) OK, my AH has been fired from every good job he has ever had for the past 12 years, for being completely irresponsible------(a trait of an alcoholic????? I wonder) .....so he gets drunk every night on his way home from his menial job. Then he screams at me about 3 times a week saying I should divorce him a...	Inga	18	1007	Mar 7, 2016 by el-cee
	confused and lost (Preview) I am new to this site, actually I have never posted on any board or chatroom at all but feel so desperate and lost I dont know where to turn.I have been with M for 15 years ( married for a year and half). Id say I noticed a problem with his drink about a year ago which became a constant source of conflict. Becaus...	NOGGIN	9	504	Mar 7, 2016 by NOGGIN
	Can we speak about Drug addicts as well? #newtothisissue #scared #worried #unsure (Preview) My husband has been in out of recovery his whole life for alcoholism and drug addiction. As long as I've known him I have never seen him drink or do drugs until now. I have been seeing symptom's of drug abuse emerging. Nothing tangible just deceitful behavior regarding finances and symptoms which le...	Shazz	7	742	Mar 7, 2016 by lookingup
	First Post. How do I know it's alcoholism? (Preview) How do I know my husband has a drinking problem? I have become so confused. I don't even know what's normal anymore. He drinks beer. Sometimes 3 a night, occasionally 10+ on weekdays. Weekends might be a case or more, depending on what's going on. Sometimes, though, there's a lull. He'll take it easy f...	idontevenknow	8	580	Mar 7, 2016 by Rachel Blue
	Looking for inspiration (Preview) Hey guys, I'm putting out the feelers. I am chairing my first ever Al-anon meeting tomorrow (March 7) The topic is Loneliness & I am looking for a couple of inspirational readings from "Courage to change". Can anybody out there suggest some? Thanks in advance	petert7666	6	444	Mar 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	making some progress (Preview) My exah is a dry drunk. He doesn't work the steps He says he has a HP but doesn't really do anything about. exah and current AH do not get a long. (No surprise there) Exah is notorious for changing plans and failing to follow through with his obligations to our children. My children 2 are adult an...	Fooled	3	718	Mar 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	He's left but have I done the right thing? (Preview) hi, first time I've ever posted on any forum but I suppose that's what desperation does to you?! i have 2 young children and my husband has been drinking out of control for the last 4 years. It started off as just annoying excessive drinking but gradually developed into more. He 'secretly' drinks vodka...	Beanie1	13	648	Mar 6, 2016 by oceanpine
	He left (Preview) He left didn't say bye or nothing or anything to anybody just up and left,ha,yes that hurt,and I thought I'd get a bye talk to you later at least,that was a blow,I locked my doors,and want to cry.guess he thought it didn't matter ,ha.im not getting it I guess just got to get past these hurt feelings of feel...	lookingup	2	319	Mar 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	Dry Well for Water (Preview) I have been feeling even worse, physically, than usual - resulting in increased hopelessness and desperation. I think I have mentioned how awful my family is - and they are the ones I am staying with while trying to figure out my health. Anyways - Friday night I was in such need of support, I reached out t...	Jaclyn	28	1008	Mar 6, 2016 by Jaclyn
	Funny for the day .. (Preview) I entertain myself I swear and seriously there is a reason I'm not allowed out without a chaperone. Even the people at my past work know the story in terms of me keeping it real .. LOL. So this past week well since my assignment ended, I have been spending a lot of girl time with girlfriends in the area and...	SerenityRUS	3	489	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C Reading March-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 6 speaks about having our " needs met" and that nobody truly knows what's in our mind and heart, unless we express it. It suggests that we cannot expect other people to meet all of our needs even if I make them clear. That was my problem I always thought my hubby coul...	hotrod	1	382	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Feeling lost (Preview) My abf came over for a visit and cooked breakfast for me and my addict sister,I can't let him move back in ,my sister can't believe I kicked him out knowing he is going to prison in 3 or4 myths for years,sister says its non of her bus.but she can't see how I can kick a man down when he is already down and going to...	lookingup	3	371	Mar 6, 2016 by hotrod
	Between a rock and a hard place! (Preview) I have been living with my A husband for three years and known him for four and a half years.We met while doing our undergraduate studies and I found out he was an alcoholic when we were still dating ,I thought my love for him would stop him from drinking.I did everything possible to stop him but how naïve I...	Lovingpeace	5	750	Mar 6, 2016 by Lyne
	Need to vent (Preview) So my ah has relapsed and he wants to get help again. That part I'm happy about as long as he follows through. What I'm so angry about is that yesterday was my birthday and he didn't remember. He didnt say happy birthday, he didnt get me anything. I do nt care about gifts but an acknowledgement would have be...	Britta	5	494	Mar 6, 2016 by Breakingfree
	living my life! (Preview) Well I haven't posted in a while, I have been very busy making changes that are best for me! I think for the first time in my life I am getting to know who I am and what I want. I have become very uncomfortable with old behaviors, I can't do it anymore, I don't want to do it anymore. I am growing and changing a lot...	mjferg	4	411	Mar 6, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Reading posts (Preview) Very interesting posts here I've enjoyed reading and can relate to all,I'm still 100%. Disconnected from my abf,for how long we'll I dunno we do run into each other but I'll deal with that when time comes or cross that bridge,he isn't the same man I went with 8 yrs ago,confusing to me he looks like the sam...	lookingup	3	411	Mar 6, 2016 by lookingup
	Potentially Good News (Preview) So I thought I completely bombed my interview on Thursday that poor lady I interviewed with must have thought I had a screw loose. I showed up at the wrong campus to start my interview off, so I was late for the actual interview .. lol. Then I had a pounding headache I'm sure from stress, hormones and lac...	SerenityRUS	6	510	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Back Soon All - Eye Infection (Preview) Hello MIP Family....It seems my head-cold some how got into one of my eyes... So - I typically wear tri-focal contacts, and can't wear them. I have one good eye right now and my glasses are missing. Since I am a frequent flyer, thought I better share so nobody would wonder where I was at. (((Hugs))) to a...	Iamhere	5	413	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	New to this forum (Preview) I have attended alanon over 15 years ago. Probably woudl have benefited from it since childhood and certainly could have continued participating all these years. Very helpful so not sure why it is taking me this long to get back and it is on recommendation from my therapist. I lost daughter to the dise...	Peace warrier	3	355	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Its a start (Preview) When my AH was discharged from rehab he was given the tools to help manage his recovery. I was given nothing besides the number to his sobriety coach and the direction to pay attention to the warning signs. It was suggested that I try alanon but there was no meetings in a 20 mile radius, I couldn't fit t...	Fooled	10	563	Mar 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Should the A stay with me or with his Sister? (Preview) Apologies to those who feel this is repeating but I do have many questions on my mind as my A is coming out of rehab. Unfortunately, I'll probably keep coming back this next week as he is coming out of rehab on 11th or so. I'm doing really well with my limited Al Anon skills (no F 2 Fs here), online Al Anon chat...	manas	15	799	Mar 6, 2016 by manas
	Does anyone feel so depressed THEY drink? (Preview) Hello friends: OK honesty wanted here.....My AH sometimes says to calm he down, "do you want some of my bourban"? and I say OK. Then I'm out out of it. GASP. I hate when this happens, but I admit it has happened several times. Has this happened to anyone else? How do I handle this? Do I need...	Inga	24	906	Mar 6, 2016 by Inga
	what is my part (Preview) I went to a face to face al-anon last night and it was great! I was able to talk about my feelings. Afterwards, I had a wake up moment. I had been feeling like a victim-feeling bad, and then all of a sudden, I saw my part in the alcoholic relationship. What was my part? What did I say or do that made the situatio...	joker	3	605	Mar 5, 2016 by Mirandac
	Lying (Preview) I am a new member and living with an AH. I have really been struggling with his lying about finances recently. He has recently starting coming to me to talk about situations around finances, which he had not done until after the fact until about a month ago. But during these conversations about finance...	racer411	6	589	Mar 5, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	This one is about A (Preview) So A's brother (the one he lives with)'s dog had puppies, 12 of them, and they were due to be collected by their respective new parents today, and daughter and still hadn't been to see the little fluff balls. So yesterday he caught trains and buses to come here (it takes him 2 hours) so that i could drive w...	missmeliss	12	708	Mar 5, 2016 by Fairlee
	Courage to Change reading 3-5 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 5 speaks about how we feel when we begin working the Steps It acknowledges all l the " irrational fear" we hav regarding having our "character defects" removed. It points out that many of us thought we would end like a chunk of Swiss cheese" compl...	hotrod	1	407	Mar 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Judgements (Preview) Personally to me judgements do not help only hinder growth, if i feel judged i feel hurt and/or rejected, i need to remember that for others too Especially in recovery. I am not very judgmental so its not as hard for me Except maybe about my Xah then my judgements come out in full force They are based on my...	Mirandac	5	500	Mar 4, 2016 by Mirandac
	Humility (Preview) I got a bit of a reminder yesterday, from a drinker in my life, that this disease is still alive and well and waiting for my guard to drop. I got an invitation to rush in and ' help' i was tempted. When its your son, its like these Mother alarm bells that ring. I was conditioned by my own upbringing along with s...	el-cee	7	529	Mar 4, 2016 by LinSC
	Need advice... (Preview) I have been married for 20 years, however for the last year my husband and I have been separated. We have been living separately since last January. After 4 years of dealing with his alcoholism, I filed for divorce. He has not hit rock bottom, despite 3 detoxes, 2 inpatient rehabs, losing me and his dau...	CFGirl70	4	552	Mar 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Everything really happens for a reason .. (Preview) I don't have to like it or even agree with it however it really does. It's always a bigger picture thing than I can see. My assignment ended so that kind of sucks however it's ok to. It was starting to feel really painful just the whole waiting thing. The best thing about the job is the people and I know t...	SerenityRUS	5	582	Mar 4, 2016 by newleaf66
	change kicks up the anxiety doesn't it? (Preview) I wanted space. Peace. Freedom to think what I want, manage my day in my own way, have my relationships, talk to who I'd like and not be micromanaged. I asked for it and more. I put in a boundary. So far, my AH is either respecting it or just ignoring me for punishment. Either way...I have some room no...	newleaf66	9	632	Mar 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	I am new here (Preview) I need some guidance.....I am leaving my husband after 39 years and I feel guilty. I am 60 he is 65. He is an addict in every sense of the word and I have been a co-dependent all these years. I have finally gotten the nerve to tell him I want out. I am and have had counseling for the last 20 years and I have l...	Dawn1118	7	725	Mar 4, 2016 by Jerry F
	Obsessing again (Preview) I have been obsessing about the alcoholic. I want to call him and really see if he is at work. My mind keeps saying he is lying about working and he drinking. Last night I was obsessed that I texted him and texted him. He finally called and he was mad. He said I am not drinking and I am in the town by his camp, whe...	joker	2	553	Mar 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/4/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about the Slogan "THINK". The writer suggests that it caused confusion in the beginning as we are told through the ESH of others that our own stinking thinking often caused us problems in our daily life. The writers says clarity for this slogan came when he/she heard a...	Iamhere	1	499	Mar 4, 2016 by hotrod
	New to this but not new to dealing with it (Preview) I am just lost. My anxiety is just out of control. Trust is gone. I am angry. I was directed to this forum by my Husbands sobriety coach. He has been out of inpatient about a month. I could not go to the facility family discharge program because I couldn't get the time off work and they only offe...	Fooled	5	530	Mar 4, 2016 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.