The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have for so many years kept the truth of my exAbf drinking from so many because I was embarrassed. and then through al anon and sharing my story with those in and out of it; it realized I'm not alone. And the judgement I placed on myself for the choices I made to keep my life to myself until it all when to hell, was just that judgement on myself and not others had on me. Sure through telling my story I have come a cross my friends that don't understand and say things that hurt; but I've begun to re-evaluate the purpose of so many people and things in my life. Telling my story had allowed me to see who I have become and who I want to be. And also who I want to surround myself with.
I had anxiety keeping my exAbf happy and anxiety keeping my "best friend" happy with my choices. My anxiety had decreased since removing both of those people from my immediate life so I can process who I am without them. Perhaps I was codependent on that friend who was and is the gossip and mother hen of the group. The one that passed judgement on everyone but the moment you called her out she became defensive. Perhaps my skills on al anon have allowed me to really look at myself and see what it is that has gotten me here today and what choices to I have to keep me on the right track for tomorrow.
All I know that telling my story and not holding it in was the biggest relief of my life. My Feelings of isolation are dwinding and my perception of myself increasing.
What did you learn by telling your story?
That things were a lot scarier in than out. Having said that, my story was not shared so much as exchanged, in a safe group space dedicated to the partners and families of an alcoholic. Privacy and respect were sacred to the whole group.
I agree A41 Sharing Experience, Strength and Hope in a fellowship of equals was/is indeed a powerful recovery tool. Alanon, meetings do work.I learned to trust the process, that I needed to have the support and understanding of like minded others and that giving advise and attempting to conrol others(as I have done ) is destructive.
Me too....me too! Before Al-Anon, I vented often enough about how things 'were' in my family/life to 'some'. They were not program people, and best as they tried, could not understand.
In a safe environment, with trusted program friends, sharing my story gave me release from my own mental bondage. Each time I am able to share my ESH, I feel a bit more free and almost as if I am leaving that life/person behind.
Great topic - lovely shares everyone! (((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
