The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been married 20 years and a year ago filed for divorce after a long 5 years of AH's alcoholism. We have 2 daughters, ages 13 and 16. In December he said he loved me and the girls; 2 weeks later he met a girl and moved in with her. We have not lived together for the last year. 3 weeks ago he got a DWI and totaled the car I have been paying for. My daughters told him that either he gets sober and get rid of the gf, or they were unsure of what their relationship would look like in the future. He said them asking him to do that is unfair and blamed his drinking on some issues that happened in our marriage and that I my behavior led him to drinking. Why oh why do I still love ho,?
Gerlinggirl - welcome to MIP - glad you found us and glad you shared.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease and is never really cured but can be treated through recovery. AA is for the drinker when they are ready, and Al-Anon is for family/friends affected by the disease. It's considered a family disease as almost everyone in the family is impacted by the disease - emotionally, physically, spiritually....
We don't always get to choose who we love and for how long. Alcoholism is considered a disease and the program has helped me separate my love for my qualifiers (the drinker(s)) from the craziness of the disease. It's a tough love, but we don't get to decide when it 'ends' - it may or it may not.
Al-Anon can give you the support and tools to find your joy and peace of mind no matter what he is or is not doing. There is also Alateen if you think a support group would be helpful for your kids.
I am hopeful you will look in your area for local meetings - there you will find local support and many who understand. Keep coming back here too - we do our best to support each other in recovery!
Glad you are here!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you. I started going to meetings but I have no time at all with busy schedules. I am going to private counseling. I so wish something would just click and he would be my husband and the girls dad again.
