Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

joker · joker

My abf was on the rage yesterday and saying how bad the world is, corrupt, evil, dirty, selfish, ect..on and on he went. He sounded paranoid almost about the world. My question is what is that about and is that an alcoholic trait to view the world as a bad place...I should say to him today I did not go out and...

MissM · MissM

Nanowrimo is "national novel writers month" and it's basically a cool thing (if you're a massive nerd like me) where writers get into regional groups and have a competition where the objective is for each novelist to write 50,000 words (the minimum to be considered a novel) in November. There are pri...

catlover26 · catlover26

My boyfriend ( sort of feels like more of a friend these days) is an recovering alcoholic 30 yrs. But he has PTSD and depression so I know this affects him but he doesn't seem to work his program. He dwells on the past. Even though he doesn't like holidays I thought I would just go over there tonight (Thanks...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 26 speaks about alcoholism being a family disease and that many of us upon entering the program do not feel as if we belong. The readin notes that this disease affects not only the person who drinks but those who care about them from generation to generation. Today we can cl...

Scaredfrightened · Scaredfrightened

I am so scared of losing my wife while she is in 28 day rehab. I am so scared that she will get an emotional attachment to another man or develop sexual feelings. Is this common? Can our relationship survive rehab? I have been by her side through everything. -- Edited by Scaredfrightened on Friday 18th o...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Later than planned today - we have a broken faucet on a major tub so....had to switch my morning things around a little bit!!! Happy Friday to all... Today's reading reminds us of what brought us to the program - a friend or family member drank too much!!! We were unhappy about it and life, but did not rea...

MissM · MissM

Hi guys. I'll be away all weekend and I usually do the C2C reading on Saturday. I dropped the ball last weekend as my internet was misbehaving and Betty picked up the slack as she tends to do, HP love her. Is anyone interested in doing it this weekend? As I've mentioned before, I have volunteered to work at...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

just when i think ive squared away feelings about my XAH, something pops up. discovered that my niece recieved about a yr ago, inappropriate emails,messages from my XAH. she is still a minor. Im so angry..she has had enough trouble in her life including losing her mom at age 6. I could !@$#^(**)___ him...

addictedtolove · addictedtolove

I used this board a lot ten years ago & forgot all about it - seems good for me now, as I just can't seem to get to a meeting. My eyes are swollen, I've cried so hard today, and then was so exhausted, slept........... upon waking I - deleted my ex of two years ago that I still haven't gotten over and all of h...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I went to my first ACOA meeting tonight and WOW was it good!! Every reading, every share just blew me away. So tonight I decided I would share. My whole body tensed. Locked up almost. I was shaking and my voice kept catching. And the icing on the cake, I broke out in hives. I felt sick to my stomach and could...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP Family. Today's reading is about Step 10 and how we can use this step and all others to enrich our spiritual journey. The reading talks about looking at others, and mentally adjusting 'things' about them to improve them. In recovery, using the steps, we are instead asked to let go of...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Evening Everyone Cathy is free!! The drama is finally over. I'm so happy I took the plunge and finally took control of of my life. It wasn't easy but the results are wonderful. Will I get lonely? ...I hope not. One day at a time to make my life better and better. WOW.....I never thought this would...

unbroken13 · unbroken13

sarahGee · sarahGee

One of my A's has gone around trashing me for a long while now. To my own family members even. I have been raised to "protect the secret", so I'm not even sure if any of these people know she's an A. Some of them do, I assume, but most wont. I'm letting it happen. Keeping my mouth shut and trusting that HP wil...

Freetime · Freetime

To all of you on MIP who celebrate the US Thanksgiving tomorrow .... May you have a peaceful and joyous Thanksgiving! Even though my life is much more serene these days, I still find myself triggered by memories of not-so-happy (traumatic!) holidays in the recent past. I am finding it helpful to reme...

sarahGee · sarahGee

My kids have the flu and we are staying home today. That sounds pretty normal, right? It's a huge step for me. I work for the family business. I never took sick days for myself, often covered for everyone else at my own expense. I would also set up a space at work for my kids when they were sick, and make t...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page in One Day at a Time in AlAnon challenges us to try something: Cut fear out of our thoughts for one day, today. How? Remember: 1) What happened yesterday is done. 2) Most of what we dread doesn't happen. 3) Anything that does we can handle with the help of our higher power. This is a new day, we h...

Millydilly · Millydilly

I just wanted to say hi to everybody having just joined. I am a member with Al Anon and am so grateful for support I get in meetings but I don't seem to learn. I still find myself in knots, feeling sick with anxiety over someone elses actions. i want to get rid of my anger, my loneliness, my shame on his behalf...

Vanessa_89 · Vanessa_89

Ive been dating my significant other for a little over a year now and his drinking has always bothered me. He doesn't drink every day, usually just on Friday nights, which is totally fine. The issue is the doesn't know when to stop. He can never just have a few drinks with me and enjoy our night. If here is m...

Fooled · Fooled

I have discovered that a big character flaw I have is my expectations of others and of myself. When others and myself fall short, mostly myself, I get disappointed and hurt. My example: I have a stressful job. yes, I get to work out of my home, BUT I work long hours. I have the ability to flex my time bu...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I made bad decisions this weekend. I know better, and I can't help but think that I made these decisions because I crave the pain. I'm sitting here thinking - I could have had a nice quiet weekend. Nothing was going on, time to relax and maybe some self care. What do I do? Invite someone to stay for the wee...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

My BF is out of rehab a month, but he's been drinking although not to excess..until tonight. He was hammerged, slurring, stumbling, was at bar for 7 hours..I'm worried because I heard it is far more dangerous to drink like that after detox..is that true? I keep checking in him, he passed out after he cam...

Junenine · Junenine

hi, all. trying to detach here. ABF is sober and working his program. i believe. today doing intake for outpatient program. but he's up throughout the night at weird hours (lifetime problem of his) and now he's smoking. plus he's been on the patch since de-toxing from tobacco (pouches) while in...

Clms22 · Clms22

Hello, I am new at this so please bare with me. I am in a place where I no longer want to be. I am so tired of being mentally abused by my husband that it is unreal. I , as of right now can not leave the situation i am in because of lack of money, but saving to leave. I have a young adult at home with a young daughter an...

madowl86 · madowl86

Anyone else's A threaten to drink when you say something they don't like? Can't help but feel like I should just sit down and shut up.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the choices made available to us in a alanon. Many of us came here because we knew we wanted a different way of life and as we remained open and consistent in our program, have found it. The reading specifically mentions how difficult holidays were gr...

vvv · vvv

I'm just broken...my bf got his second DUI yesterday. He totaled his truck and it got impounded. All of his tools were in it...he's in jail and I'm just a mess. I don't want to bail him out because of the potential risk on my end ( I own a business with my prents), but the other half of me is dying inside. I have...

el-cee · el-cee

This keeps recurring for me and lately Ive been thinking about where it comes from and its becoming clear to me why I ended up with my exah. He fulfilled the roles played out in my childhood, being emotionally unavailable, the regular feelings of being rejected and abandoned. Every time he took a drink...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading addresses the feeling that we have been in AlAnon long enough that we should not be experiencing as many problems as we are. We could be tempted to blame ourselves, or even the program. It makes sense that we would feel we have more problems than before. Before AlAnon, we may have though...

El · El

Last Sunday I posted that I absolutely lost it with AH and his snide commentary on just about everything. In this past week I have come to the realization that his diseased thinking is certainly becoming more irrational and his social interactions are less controlled.....really, really awkward...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

My husband is dry for two months. He doesn't buy into AA and isn't working anything but he is seeing a therapist. For the past two months he's been all over the place-sickness, depression, sleepless nights, oversleeping, euphoria, everything. It's exhausting. I'm getting better at working my pro...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 20 speaks about the fact that Alcoholism tends to break the spirit of those who live with the disease . Al-Anon understands this and offers us fellowship so as to break the isolation, the connection with a sponsor so as to rebuild our ability to trust another and the...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm not into the br,gf thingy again and for sure not never into the blind dating games,I never liked . freinds sure try to know what's best for us single women, freinds try hard to fix me up with somebody, the answers been no,no,no im not ready for dating,etc im presently working my steps. with god,mysel...

lookingup · lookingup

I've made plans for thanksgiving with my dad which lives in next state over from mine,and plans with my son lives down south of me ,son and wife is packing ,getting ready to move into their newly bought home. so I've obligated myself to both,my dads and told my son I'd just zip on down the hwy to his place to...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

My husband has been off of pain pills for about three months now. He's dry but by no means sober. He's moody and angry and depressed and anxious. He has self loathing and negative self talk that keeps him awake all night long. He's quite miserable. It's hard to watch him go through this, but I am really wor...

draineddaughter · draineddaughter

i am the daughter of a 'recovering' alcoholic mother. I would also class my father as an alcoholic, albeit a functioning one. my parents have always liked a drink but for my mum it became much more than that around 7/8 years ago. Obviously those years were very tough on us all as a family. We would come hom...

Smukke · Smukke

Hi all, I am an Al-Anon member for almost 5 years now, and have been on this forum on and off. I have been regularly to meetings and working the steps with my sponsor, and have experienced so much healing! One thing I almost expected from recovery is that my relationships heal and improve on their own, whi...

l8after12 · l8after12

Hi. My alcoholic boyfriend of 4 years has been sober for 60 days (and working a program), but when I came home today after a long day at work, I had a feeling. I have a feeling. And my feelings are almost always right. He's not answering questions about his day, his eyes are bloodshot, and he's sneaking off...

leannewales · leannewales

My daughter ran a successful small business ....she has always had problems handling money and has always drunk to a degree...she is married to someone who is the same but less willing to earn a living.....In 2007 they had a beautiful little girl....In October 2010 their family was completed by the a...

MissM · MissM

Went to my new psychologist yesterday. I like her. She's not cheap but she seems to actually be on board "with" me which is, I assume, the general idea. I haven't experienced that before. She feels that from what I describe, maybe I've been stuck in a very entrenched lifelong pattern of accepting abuse...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

Thank you everyone on here for helping me during this dark time. My al anon group was a great help to me. I am certain there will be more dark days to come. I could not have done it without you. I am sad he could not find recovery, but it was a great gift to me and my mom. It's a gift to my whole family. Once aga...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 19 speaks about how we felt when we first enter Al-Anon and the soul sickness that brings us into the rooms. The reading indicates that we come because we think we're going to learn how to fix our loved ones because Alcoholism has affected our lives in such a powerful wa...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I'm feeling like I am out of control. Is it normal to feel this way when first getting to the hard part of the program? I feel lost, like I've lost everything I've ever known. I don't know how to behave. I was used to behaving a certain way, a way that obviously wasn't working for me or anyone around me, but a...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

Is it more difficult for a diagnosed narcissist to recover from Alcohol addiction and divorce? My loved one was a secret alcoholic. Anyone else dealt with a secret alcoholic?

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the extensive ways our sanity can be restored with the Second Step of our program. So many of us arrive at Al-Anon and struggle to realize the limited ways we experience life. There is no doubt that being restored to sanity includes the ability to function responsibly an...

Miss A · Miss A

Does anyone else have obsessive or Impolsive behaviours? I have found I impulse shop if I'm feeling anxious, down or if I just have a thought. I'm also this way with sugary sweet things. Also thank you for the warm welcome.ð

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am posting a day early as I'm having company from out of town tomorrow.... The daily reading talks about how important the phrase we here often -- Keep Coming Back -- is. No matter how short or long we've been exposed to our program of recovery, we are reminded that we can come back to the program basics...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

Since my break up with my ex ABF I am realizing how insecure I really am, and that its fueled most of my anxiety. I have been asking my higher power to help me push away negative thoughts but would like to know some things you all might do to help you when dealing with this.

Fooled · Fooled

My AH is sober 52 days. I am grateful for his sobriety and working hard to forgive and let go. I really don't want to relive his past transgressions. The really ugly stuff. I am trying to focus on today. Sometimes though I get flashbacks of times when he was active. For example, when he came hom...

sarahGee · sarahGee

Reading some of these posts got me thinking. It really is important that we watch what we say around the A and how we say it. I haven't finished all of my CAL but I'm learning a lot from what I've read. We get blamed for a lot. And then feel the need to stick up for ourselves and that just keeps the cycle going. T...

el-cee · el-cee

Yesterdays reading was a good one, all about how when we take a hurt it can be because we think the whole world revolves around us and we get upset when a person or situation doesn't go our way. Wow, this is me right now and I hadn't linked it to being conceited, I had to look that word up and it means being egot...

sarahGee · sarahGee

My sons are responsible for their school work each day after school. I work late & as a single mom I've had to put a lot of faith into them that they would complete what needs to be completed. It's easy to sneak things by me, I am not fully aware of each individual assignment. Anyway, I happened to hear...

Miss A · Miss A

I have always struggled with staying in the present, I always plan for the future. Wether it be next month or three years from now. I don't start thinking from the beginning, I start thinking about the end result. I've noticed if I don't have a plan in place I get anxious. I'd say this need for control st...

babyhorsie · babyhorsie

Hi everyone! I am new here but already feeling grateful to have found this resource. I am 42 yrs old. Both parents struggled with addiction (drugs, food and alcohol) my ENTIRE life, causing me (oldest child in the family) to often times feel like the parent. Fast forward to May of this year, my mom a...

lookingup · lookingup

My now grown kids are both successfully married and on their own,have been for several yrs now,still miss them, especially my 3 grandsons by my daughter I never get to see for their father joined airforce way back when they were babies now teens except 1 will be soon,oldest is 16 ,my daughter and her hub...

Dlove · Dlove

I haven't been on here in awhile but when I'm struggling I get on here and read all of your stories and I am so thankful for this group. But my AH has been progressively getting worse with his disease. He has since quit going out partying to now drinking all day/night in our garage. Last weekend it got so bad...

2HP · 2HP

Over a year ago, we had a stray kitty show up at our door. We like to support strays by feeding them and keeping water bowls out. This kitty would show up and disappear again, so we figured he was living the good life with other gigs out there providing his needs. His orange color, enormous head, and his...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

This reading is a great follow up to yesterday's Hope for Today reading, which highlighted the various ways the AlAnon slogan "Let Go and Let God" can be used. Today's C2C looks at what we can try if we are having difficulty with the 'letting go' part. Some have found success with visualizing turning th...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I believe more than anything, this idea of 100 percent perfection or 100 percent failure caused my brother to die. Apparently, the people who knew he was alcoholic, said he tried to quit, but would quickly become discouraged after a relapse. He clearly needed professional help, but was afraid, be...

oceanpine · oceanpine

hi, Alanon Family, Been reading a lot here, to help me get strength. Reading lots of posts on divorce, taking comfort in the fact so many others have trod this beaten path. Finally told my AH this weekend that I am ready to move forward with divorce. Been living apart for 15 months, and I don't see much wi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	raging at the world (Preview) My abf was on the rage yesterday and saying how bad the world is, corrupt, evil, dirty, selfish, ect..on and on he went. He sounded paranoid almost about the world. My question is what is that about and is that an alcoholic trait to view the world as a bad place...I should say to him today I did not go out and...	joker	9	1278	Nov 26, 2016 by MovieGal
	Nano (Preview) Nanowrimo is "national novel writers month" and it's basically a cool thing (if you're a massive nerd like me) where writers get into regional groups and have a competition where the objective is for each novelist to write 50,000 words (the minimum to be considered a novel) in November. There are pri...	MissM	9	620	Nov 26, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Frustrated and hard not to take it personal (Preview) My boyfriend ( sort of feels like more of a friend these days) is an recovering alcoholic 30 yrs. But he has PTSD and depression so I know this affects him but he doesn't seem to work his program. He dwells on the past. Even though he doesn't like holidays I thought I would just go over there tonight (Thanks...	catlover26	5	666	Nov 26, 2016 by Fooled
	Courage to Change reading 11-26-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 26 speaks about alcoholism being a family disease and that many of us upon entering the program do not feel as if we belong. The readin notes that this disease affects not only the person who drinks but those who care about them from generation to generation. Today we can cl...	hotrod	1	567	Nov 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	So scared of losing my wife (Preview) I am so scared of losing my wife while she is in 28 day rehab. I am so scared that she will get an emotional attachment to another man or develop sexual feelings. Is this common? Can our relationship survive rehab? I have been by her side through everything. -- Edited by Scaredfrightened on Friday 18th o...	Scaredfrightened	11	2584	Nov 26, 2016 by vvv
	Courage to Change 11/25/16 (Preview) Later than planned today - we have a broken faucet on a major tub so....had to switch my morning things around a little bit!!! Happy Friday to all... Today's reading reminds us of what brought us to the program - a friend or family member drank too much!!! We were unhappy about it and life, but did not rea...	Iamhere	2	506	Nov 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Can anyone help? Also a funny. (Preview) Hi guys. I'll be away all weekend and I usually do the C2C reading on Saturday. I dropped the ball last weekend as my internet was misbehaving and Betty picked up the slack as she tends to do, HP love her. Is anyone interested in doing it this weekend? As I've mentioned before, I have volunteered to work at...	MissM	1	531	Nov 25, 2016 by sarahGee
	new news (Preview) just when i think ive squared away feelings about my XAH, something pops up. discovered that my niece recieved about a yr ago, inappropriate emails,messages from my XAH. she is still a minor. Im so angry..she has had enough trouble in her life including losing her mom at age 6. I could !@$#^(**)___ him...	YARNCRAZY	3	506	Nov 25, 2016 by sarahGee
	gotta get back in line (Preview) I used this board a lot ten years ago & forgot all about it - seems good for me now, as I just can't seem to get to a meeting. My eyes are swollen, I've cried so hard today, and then was so exhausted, slept........... upon waking I - deleted my ex of two years ago that I still haven't gotten over and all of h...	addictedtolove	2	586	Nov 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	A physical reaction to sharing (Preview) I went to my first ACOA meeting tonight and WOW was it good!! Every reading, every share just blew me away. So tonight I decided I would share. My whole body tensed. Locked up almost. I was shaking and my voice kept catching. And the icing on the cake, I broke out in hives. I felt sick to my stomach and could...	sarahGee	2	2924	Nov 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/24/16 (Preview) Good morning MIP Family. Today's reading is about Step 10 and how we can use this step and all others to enrich our spiritual journey. The reading talks about looking at others, and mentally adjusting 'things' about them to improve them. In recovery, using the steps, we are instead asked to let go of...	Iamhere	4	557	Nov 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	My new life has started (Preview) Good Evening Everyone Cathy is free!! The drama is finally over. I'm so happy I took the plunge and finally took control of of my life. It wasn't easy but the results are wonderful. Will I get lonely? ...I hope not. One day at a time to make my life better and better. WOW.....I never thought this would...	Cathyinaz	21	881	Nov 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	To my MIP Family (Preview)	unbroken13	4	583	Nov 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	Do you stand up for yourself? (Preview) One of my A's has gone around trashing me for a long while now. To my own family members even. I have been raised to "protect the secret", so I'm not even sure if any of these people know she's an A. Some of them do, I assume, but most wont. I'm letting it happen. Keeping my mouth shut and trusting that HP wil...	sarahGee	7	674	Nov 24, 2016 by Mcat54
	Giving thanks (Preview) To all of you on MIP who celebrate the US Thanksgiving tomorrow .... May you have a peaceful and joyous Thanksgiving! Even though my life is much more serene these days, I still find myself triggered by memories of not-so-happy (traumatic!) holidays in the recent past. I am finding it helpful to reme...	Freetime	7	609	Nov 24, 2016 by MeTwo2
	A small step (Preview) My kids have the flu and we are staying home today. That sounds pretty normal, right? It's a huge step for me. I work for the family business. I never took sick days for myself, often covered for everyone else at my own expense. I would also set up a space at work for my kids when they were sick, and make t...	sarahGee	3	560	Nov 23, 2016 by sarahGee
	11/23/16 ODAT Just for Today, No Fear (Preview) Today's page in One Day at a Time in AlAnon challenges us to try something: Cut fear out of our thoughts for one day, today. How? Remember: 1) What happened yesterday is done. 2) Most of what we dread doesn't happen. 3) Anything that does we can handle with the help of our higher power. This is a new day, we h...	Enigmatic	7	621	Nov 23, 2016 by e_i_m
	DETACHING WITH LOVE (Preview) I just wanted to say hi to everybody having just joined. I am a member with Al Anon and am so grateful for support I get in meetings but I don't seem to learn. I still find myself in knots, feeling sick with anxiety over someone elses actions. i want to get rid of my anger, my loneliness, my shame on his behalf...	Millydilly	5	871	Nov 23, 2016 by e_i_m
	My boyfriend is a binge drinker Significant other binge drinking (Preview) Ive been dating my significant other for a little over a year now and his drinking has always bothered me. He doesn't drink every day, usually just on Friday nights, which is totally fine. The issue is the doesn't know when to stop. He can never just have a few drinks with me and enjoy our night. If here is m...	Vanessa_89	6	4248	Nov 23, 2016 by mtk746
	My Expectations (Preview) I have discovered that a big character flaw I have is my expectations of others and of myself. When others and myself fall short, mostly myself, I get disappointed and hurt. My example: I have a stressful job. yes, I get to work out of my home, BUT I work long hours. I have the ability to flex my time bu...	Fooled	5	710	Nov 23, 2016 by Fooled
	Bad decisions. Upset with myself (Preview) I made bad decisions this weekend. I know better, and I can't help but think that I made these decisions because I crave the pain. I'm sitting here thinking - I could have had a nice quiet weekend. Nothing was going on, time to relax and maybe some self care. What do I do? Invite someone to stay for the wee...	sarahGee	23	1182	Nov 23, 2016 by sarahGee
	Drinking after detox (Preview) My BF is out of rehab a month, but he's been drinking although not to excess..until tonight. He was hammerged, slurring, stumbling, was at bar for 7 hours..I'm worried because I heard it is far more dangerous to drink like that after detox..is that true? I keep checking in him, he passed out after he cam...	Desperateinnyc	4	674	Nov 23, 2016 by Cathyinaz
	post-rehab reality (Preview) hi, all. trying to detach here. ABF is sober and working his program. i believe. today doing intake for outpatient program. but he's up throughout the night at weird hours (lifetime problem of his) and now he's smoking. plus he's been on the patch since de-toxing from tobacco (pouches) while in...	Junenine	8	630	Nov 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	New to Alanon (Preview) Hello, I am new at this so please bare with me. I am in a place where I no longer want to be. I am so tired of being mentally abused by my husband that it is unreal. I , as of right now can not leave the situation i am in because of lack of money, but saving to leave. I have a young adult at home with a young daughter an...	Clms22	3	549	Nov 22, 2016 by Jerry F
	Threatening to drink (Preview) Anyone else's A threaten to drink when you say something they don't like? Can't help but feel like I should just sit down and shut up.	madowl86	7	722	Nov 22, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Hope for Today Nov 22 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the choices made available to us in a alanon. Many of us came here because we knew we wanted a different way of life and as we remained open and consistent in our program, have found it. The reading specifically mentions how difficult holidays were gr...	yanksfan51	2	509	Nov 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Drunk driving...DUI #2 (Preview) I'm just broken...my bf got his second DUI yesterday. He totaled his truck and it got impounded. All of his tools were in it...he's in jail and I'm just a mess. I don't want to bail him out because of the potential risk on my end ( I own a business with my prents), but the other half of me is dying inside. I have...	vvv	9	740	Nov 22, 2016 by Fooled
	Abandonment Issues (Preview) This keeps recurring for me and lately Ive been thinking about where it comes from and its becoming clear to me why I ended up with my exah. He fulfilled the roles played out in my childhood, being emotionally unavailable, the regular feelings of being rejected and abandoned. Every time he took a drink...	el-cee	13	4193	Nov 21, 2016 by el-cee
	11/21/16 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's reading addresses the feeling that we have been in AlAnon long enough that we should not be experiencing as many problems as we are. We could be tempted to blame ourselves, or even the program. It makes sense that we would feel we have more problems than before. Before AlAnon, we may have though...	Enigmatic	4	605	Nov 21, 2016 by El
	realization (Preview) Last Sunday I posted that I absolutely lost it with AH and his snide commentary on just about everything. In this past week I have come to the realization that his diseased thinking is certainly becoming more irrational and his social interactions are less controlled.....really, really awkward...	El	2	617	Nov 21, 2016 by el-cee
	Crying on my kitchen floor (Preview) My husband is dry for two months. He doesn't buy into AA and isn't working anything but he is seeing a therapist. For the past two months he's been all over the place-sickness, depression, sleepless nights, oversleeping, euphoria, everything. It's exhausting. I'm getting better at working my pro...	Prissykitty	12	838	Nov 20, 2016 by Desperateinnyc
	Courage to Change reading 11-20-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 20 speaks about the fact that Alcoholism tends to break the spirit of those who live with the disease . Al-Anon understands this and offers us fellowship so as to break the isolation, the connection with a sponsor so as to rebuild our ability to trust another and the...	hotrod	1	2141	Nov 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Blind dates (Preview) I'm not into the br,gf thingy again and for sure not never into the blind dating games,I never liked . freinds sure try to know what's best for us single women, freinds try hard to fix me up with somebody, the answers been no,no,no im not ready for dating,etc im presently working my steps. with god,mysel...	lookingup	6	623	Nov 20, 2016 by lookingup
	Thanksgiving (Preview) I've made plans for thanksgiving with my dad which lives in next state over from mine,and plans with my son lives down south of me ,son and wife is packing ,getting ready to move into their newly bought home. so I've obligated myself to both,my dads and told my son I'd just zip on down the hwy to his place to...	lookingup	5	673	Nov 20, 2016 by lookingup
	"Dry" Husband wants to take Ambien (Preview) My husband has been off of pain pills for about three months now. He's dry but by no means sober. He's moody and angry and depressed and anxious. He has self loathing and negative self talk that keeps him awake all night long. He's quite miserable. It's hard to watch him go through this, but I am really wor...	Prissykitty	17	2028	Nov 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Cut ties - feeling guilty (Preview) i am the daughter of a 'recovering' alcoholic mother. I would also class my father as an alcoholic, albeit a functioning one. my parents have always liked a drink but for my mum it became much more than that around 7/8 years ago. Obviously those years were very tough on us all as a family. We would come hom...	draineddaughter	5	650	Nov 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Unhealthy crush (Preview) Hi all, I am an Al-Anon member for almost 5 years now, and have been on this forum on and off. I have been regularly to meetings and working the steps with my sponsor, and have experienced so much healing! One thing I almost expected from recovery is that my relationships heal and improve on their own, whi...	Smukke	7	777	Nov 20, 2016 by 2HP
	I think he relapsed, and it's making me relapse (Preview) Hi. My alcoholic boyfriend of 4 years has been sober for 60 days (and working a program), but when I came home today after a long day at work, I had a feeling. I have a feeling. And my feelings are almost always right. He's not answering questions about his day, his eyes are bloodshot, and he's sneaking off...	l8after12	12	837	Nov 19, 2016 by Desperateinnyc
	Reaching the end (Preview) My daughter ran a successful small business ....she has always had problems handling money and has always drunk to a degree...she is married to someone who is the same but less willing to earn a living.....In 2007 they had a beautiful little girl....In October 2010 their family was completed by the a...	leannewales	7	693	Nov 19, 2016 by Jerry F
	Wait, wut?? (Preview) Went to my new psychologist yesterday. I like her. She's not cheap but she seems to actually be on board "with" me which is, I assume, the general idea. I haven't experienced that before. She feels that from what I describe, maybe I've been stuck in a very entrenched lifelong pattern of accepting abuse...	MissM	24	971	Nov 19, 2016 by Lucy125
	Well he passed away (Preview) Thank you everyone on here for helping me during this dark time. My al anon group was a great help to me. I am certain there will be more dark days to come. I could not have done it without you. I am sad he could not find recovery, but it was a great gift to me and my mom. It's a gift to my whole family. Once aga...	Lucy125	17	787	Nov 19, 2016 by Lucy125
	Courage to Change 11=19-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 19 speaks about how we felt when we first enter Al-Anon and the soul sickness that brings us into the rooms. The reading indicates that we come because we think we're going to learn how to fix our loved ones because Alcoholism has affected our lives in such a powerful wa...	hotrod	1	643	Nov 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Out of control (Preview) I'm feeling like I am out of control. Is it normal to feel this way when first getting to the hard part of the program? I feel lost, like I've lost everything I've ever known. I don't know how to behave. I was used to behaving a certain way, a way that obviously wasn't working for me or anyone around me, but a...	sarahGee	4	677	Nov 18, 2016 by e_i_m
	Narcissists, Alcohol and divorce (Preview) Is it more difficult for a diagnosed narcissist to recover from Alcohol addiction and divorce? My loved one was a secret alcoholic. Anyone else dealt with a secret alcoholic?	Lucy125	11	825	Nov 18, 2016 by Lucy125
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/18/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the extensive ways our sanity can be restored with the Second Step of our program. So many of us arrive at Al-Anon and struggle to realize the limited ways we experience life. There is no doubt that being restored to sanity includes the ability to function responsibly an...	Iamhere	5	636	Nov 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Obsessive/Impolsive Behaviour (Preview) Does anyone else have obsessive or Impolsive behaviours? I have found I impulse shop if I'm feeling anxious, down or if I just have a thought. I'm also this way with sugary sweet things. Also thank you for the warm welcome.ð	Miss A	4	661	Nov 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/16/16 (Preview) I am posting a day early as I'm having company from out of town tomorrow.... The daily reading talks about how important the phrase we here often -- Keep Coming Back -- is. No matter how short or long we've been exposed to our program of recovery, we are reminded that we can come back to the program basics...	Iamhere	2	591	Nov 17, 2016 by lookingup
	Feeling insecure (Preview) Since my break up with my ex ABF I am realizing how insecure I really am, and that its fueled most of my anxiety. I have been asking my higher power to help me push away negative thoughts but would like to know some things you all might do to help you when dealing with this.	ItsAllAboutMeMC	5	763	Nov 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	flashbacks (Preview) My AH is sober 52 days. I am grateful for his sobriety and working hard to forgive and let go. I really don't want to relive his past transgressions. The really ugly stuff. I am trying to focus on today. Sometimes though I get flashbacks of times when he was active. For example, when he came hom...	Fooled	5	633	Nov 17, 2016 by Lucy125
	The language we use (Preview) Reading some of these posts got me thinking. It really is important that we watch what we say around the A and how we say it. I haven't finished all of my CAL but I'm learning a lot from what I've read. We get blamed for a lot. And then feel the need to stick up for ourselves and that just keeps the cycle going. T...	sarahGee	11	824	Nov 17, 2016 by 2HP
	Conceit, vanity and ego (Preview) Yesterdays reading was a good one, all about how when we take a hurt it can be because we think the whole world revolves around us and we get upset when a person or situation doesn't go our way. Wow, this is me right now and I hadn't linked it to being conceited, I had to look that word up and it means being egot...	el-cee	11	806	Nov 17, 2016 by el-cee
	Caught myself! (Preview) My sons are responsible for their school work each day after school. I work late & as a single mom I've had to put a lot of faith into them that they would complete what needs to be completed. It's easy to sneak things by me, I am not fully aware of each individual assignment. Anyway, I happened to hear...	sarahGee	2	495	Nov 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	One Day at a Time (Preview) I have always struggled with staying in the present, I always plan for the future. Wether it be next month or three years from now. I don't start thinking from the beginning, I start thinking about the end result. I've noticed if I don't have a plan in place I get anxious. I'd say this need for control st...	Miss A	4	682	Nov 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	What do I do now??? (Preview) Hi everyone! I am new here but already feeling grateful to have found this resource. I am 42 yrs old. Both parents struggled with addiction (drugs, food and alcohol) my ENTIRE life, causing me (oldest child in the family) to often times feel like the parent. Fast forward to May of this year, my mom a...	babyhorsie	4	620	Nov 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Control (Preview) My now grown kids are both successfully married and on their own,have been for several yrs now,still miss them, especially my 3 grandsons by my daughter I never get to see for their father joined airforce way back when they were babies now teens except 1 will be soon,oldest is 16 ,my daughter and her hub...	lookingup	3	618	Nov 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Trying to co-exist with a dry drunk (Preview) I haven't been on here in awhile but when I'm struggling I get on here and read all of your stories and I am so thankful for this group. But my AH has been progressively getting worse with his disease. He has since quit going out partying to now drinking all day/night in our garage. Last weekend it got so bad...	Dlove	9	740	Nov 16, 2016 by Kim C
	Garfield (Preview) Over a year ago, we had a stray kitty show up at our door. We like to support strays by feeding them and keeping water bowls out. This kitty would show up and disappear again, so we figured he was living the good life with other gigs out there providing his needs. His orange color, enormous head, and his...	2HP	7	962	Nov 16, 2016 by serenity47
	11/16/16 Courage to Change – “Let Go and Let God” (Preview) This reading is a great follow up to yesterday's Hope for Today reading, which highlighted the various ways the AlAnon slogan "Let Go and Let God" can be used. Today's C2C looks at what we can try if we are having difficulty with the 'letting go' part. Some have found success with visualizing turning th...	Enigmatic	5	3113	Nov 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Dangerous black and white thinking (Preview) I believe more than anything, this idea of 100 percent perfection or 100 percent failure caused my brother to die. Apparently, the people who knew he was alcoholic, said he tried to quit, but would quickly become discouraged after a relapse. He clearly needed professional help, but was afraid, be...	Lucy125	7	882	Nov 15, 2016 by Lucy125
	Trying to move forward (Preview) hi, Alanon Family, Been reading a lot here, to help me get strength. Reading lots of posts on divorce, taking comfort in the fact so many others have trod this beaten path. Finally told my AH this weekend that I am ready to move forward with divorce. Been living apart for 15 months, and I don't see much wi...	oceanpine	5	589	Nov 15, 2016 by e_i_m
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.