Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

el-cee · el-cee

This keeps recurring for me and lately Ive been thinking about where it comes from and its becoming clear to me why I ended up with my exah. He fulfilled the roles played out in my childhood, being emotionally unavailable, the regular feelings of being rejected and abandoned. Every time he took a drink...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading addresses the feeling that we have been in AlAnon long enough that we should not be experiencing as many problems as we are. We could be tempted to blame ourselves, or even the program. It makes sense that we would feel we have more problems than before. Before AlAnon, we may have though...

El · El

Last Sunday I posted that I absolutely lost it with AH and his snide commentary on just about everything. In this past week I have come to the realization that his diseased thinking is certainly becoming more irrational and his social interactions are less controlled.....really, really awkward...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

My husband is dry for two months. He doesn't buy into AA and isn't working anything but he is seeing a therapist. For the past two months he's been all over the place-sickness, depression, sleepless nights, oversleeping, euphoria, everything. It's exhausting. I'm getting better at working my pro...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 20 speaks about the fact that Alcoholism tends to break the spirit of those who live with the disease . Al-Anon understands this and offers us fellowship so as to break the isolation, the connection with a sponsor so as to rebuild our ability to trust another and the...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm not into the br,gf thingy again and for sure not never into the blind dating games,I never liked . freinds sure try to know what's best for us single women, freinds try hard to fix me up with somebody, the answers been no,no,no im not ready for dating,etc im presently working my steps. with god,mysel...

lookingup · lookingup

I've made plans for thanksgiving with my dad which lives in next state over from mine,and plans with my son lives down south of me ,son and wife is packing ,getting ready to move into their newly bought home. so I've obligated myself to both,my dads and told my son I'd just zip on down the hwy to his place to...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

My husband has been off of pain pills for about three months now. He's dry but by no means sober. He's moody and angry and depressed and anxious. He has self loathing and negative self talk that keeps him awake all night long. He's quite miserable. It's hard to watch him go through this, but I am really wor...

draineddaughter · draineddaughter

i am the daughter of a 'recovering' alcoholic mother. I would also class my father as an alcoholic, albeit a functioning one. my parents have always liked a drink but for my mum it became much more than that around 7/8 years ago. Obviously those years were very tough on us all as a family. We would come hom...

Smukke · Smukke

Hi all, I am an Al-Anon member for almost 5 years now, and have been on this forum on and off. I have been regularly to meetings and working the steps with my sponsor, and have experienced so much healing! One thing I almost expected from recovery is that my relationships heal and improve on their own, whi...

l8after12 · l8after12

Hi. My alcoholic boyfriend of 4 years has been sober for 60 days (and working a program), but when I came home today after a long day at work, I had a feeling. I have a feeling. And my feelings are almost always right. He's not answering questions about his day, his eyes are bloodshot, and he's sneaking off...

leannewales · leannewales

My daughter ran a successful small business ....she has always had problems handling money and has always drunk to a degree...she is married to someone who is the same but less willing to earn a living.....In 2007 they had a beautiful little girl....In October 2010 their family was completed by the a...

MissM · MissM

Went to my new psychologist yesterday. I like her. She's not cheap but she seems to actually be on board "with" me which is, I assume, the general idea. I haven't experienced that before. She feels that from what I describe, maybe I've been stuck in a very entrenched lifelong pattern of accepting abuse...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

Thank you everyone on here for helping me during this dark time. My al anon group was a great help to me. I am certain there will be more dark days to come. I could not have done it without you. I am sad he could not find recovery, but it was a great gift to me and my mom. It's a gift to my whole family. Once aga...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 19 speaks about how we felt when we first enter Al-Anon and the soul sickness that brings us into the rooms. The reading indicates that we come because we think we're going to learn how to fix our loved ones because Alcoholism has affected our lives in such a powerful wa...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I'm feeling like I am out of control. Is it normal to feel this way when first getting to the hard part of the program? I feel lost, like I've lost everything I've ever known. I don't know how to behave. I was used to behaving a certain way, a way that obviously wasn't working for me or anyone around me, but a...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

Is it more difficult for a diagnosed narcissist to recover from Alcohol addiction and divorce? My loved one was a secret alcoholic. Anyone else dealt with a secret alcoholic?

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the extensive ways our sanity can be restored with the Second Step of our program. So many of us arrive at Al-Anon and struggle to realize the limited ways we experience life. There is no doubt that being restored to sanity includes the ability to function responsibly an...

Miss A · Miss A

Does anyone else have obsessive or Impolsive behaviours? I have found I impulse shop if I'm feeling anxious, down or if I just have a thought. I'm also this way with sugary sweet things. Also thank you for the warm welcome.ð

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am posting a day early as I'm having company from out of town tomorrow.... The daily reading talks about how important the phrase we here often -- Keep Coming Back -- is. No matter how short or long we've been exposed to our program of recovery, we are reminded that we can come back to the program basics...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

Since my break up with my ex ABF I am realizing how insecure I really am, and that its fueled most of my anxiety. I have been asking my higher power to help me push away negative thoughts but would like to know some things you all might do to help you when dealing with this.

Fooled · Fooled

My AH is sober 52 days. I am grateful for his sobriety and working hard to forgive and let go. I really don't want to relive his past transgressions. The really ugly stuff. I am trying to focus on today. Sometimes though I get flashbacks of times when he was active. For example, when he came hom...

sarahGee · sarahGee

Reading some of these posts got me thinking. It really is important that we watch what we say around the A and how we say it. I haven't finished all of my CAL but I'm learning a lot from what I've read. We get blamed for a lot. And then feel the need to stick up for ourselves and that just keeps the cycle going. T...

el-cee · el-cee

Yesterdays reading was a good one, all about how when we take a hurt it can be because we think the whole world revolves around us and we get upset when a person or situation doesn't go our way. Wow, this is me right now and I hadn't linked it to being conceited, I had to look that word up and it means being egot...

sarahGee · sarahGee

My sons are responsible for their school work each day after school. I work late & as a single mom I've had to put a lot of faith into them that they would complete what needs to be completed. It's easy to sneak things by me, I am not fully aware of each individual assignment. Anyway, I happened to hear...

Miss A · Miss A

I have always struggled with staying in the present, I always plan for the future. Wether it be next month or three years from now. I don't start thinking from the beginning, I start thinking about the end result. I've noticed if I don't have a plan in place I get anxious. I'd say this need for control st...

babyhorsie · babyhorsie

Hi everyone! I am new here but already feeling grateful to have found this resource. I am 42 yrs old. Both parents struggled with addiction (drugs, food and alcohol) my ENTIRE life, causing me (oldest child in the family) to often times feel like the parent. Fast forward to May of this year, my mom a...

lookingup · lookingup

My now grown kids are both successfully married and on their own,have been for several yrs now,still miss them, especially my 3 grandsons by my daughter I never get to see for their father joined airforce way back when they were babies now teens except 1 will be soon,oldest is 16 ,my daughter and her hub...

Dlove · Dlove

I haven't been on here in awhile but when I'm struggling I get on here and read all of your stories and I am so thankful for this group. But my AH has been progressively getting worse with his disease. He has since quit going out partying to now drinking all day/night in our garage. Last weekend it got so bad...

2HP · 2HP

Over a year ago, we had a stray kitty show up at our door. We like to support strays by feeding them and keeping water bowls out. This kitty would show up and disappear again, so we figured he was living the good life with other gigs out there providing his needs. His orange color, enormous head, and his...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

This reading is a great follow up to yesterday's Hope for Today reading, which highlighted the various ways the AlAnon slogan "Let Go and Let God" can be used. Today's C2C looks at what we can try if we are having difficulty with the 'letting go' part. Some have found success with visualizing turning th...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I believe more than anything, this idea of 100 percent perfection or 100 percent failure caused my brother to die. Apparently, the people who knew he was alcoholic, said he tried to quit, but would quickly become discouraged after a relapse. He clearly needed professional help, but was afraid, be...

oceanpine · oceanpine

hi, Alanon Family, Been reading a lot here, to help me get strength. Reading lots of posts on divorce, taking comfort in the fact so many others have trod this beaten path. Finally told my AH this weekend that I am ready to move forward with divorce. Been living apart for 15 months, and I don't see much wi...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62899870/alanon-step-6-11-15-2016/Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Im currently recovering through treatment and time from this wreched back. Im having a MRI THUrs. Gave myself a talking to this morning about taking it easy on myself and lowering my expectations on myself during this healing. First me than others right now. My house is a mess,laundry etc but i cant do...

Familyofaddicts · Familyofaddicts

I'm posting here because I don't know where else to post this. My sister got out of prison 2 years ago. Before that she was on all kinds of drugs and into many illegal activities. She now lives in a recovery house. Before going to prison she stole about $6000 worth of things from me. This is nothing compare...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I called all the relatives, what few there are, to tell them of my brother's passing. Apparently, he lied to them about me and said I had cut him out of our lives! He also lied about them as I found out my cousin did not forbid him from attending funeral. My cousin said she confronted him about what she th...

kittenpea · kittenpea

So my alcoholic father has now died. I dont feel anything at all. Is this normal? This man was never ever there for me, he was always in the pub. Its like nothing has changed and nothing has happened...am I normal?

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

AH chose to stay up late watching tv. He is now tired. He also asked "how much am I required to participate today?" To which I responded, "You get to chooses for yourself." (Yay tools!) But then I asked, "Are you low energy? It sounds like you don't want to hang out with us." (Woops, maybe shouldn't poke t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

good morning everybody- Today's reading is about the slogan 'Let Go and Let God'. The thought for the day reminds us that the order of wording in this slogan is important- in order for us to turn things over to our HP, we have to be able to stop clutching at them. I have been thinking about the opening of th...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading points to the power of prayer and gratitude in our recovery. When we are struggling, a plea for help from our higher power may be all we can manage. The help we receive from such a prayer can really boost our faith and confidence in our hp. Prayer can also convey our gratitude for this life...

el-cee · el-cee

What does it mean if someone is emotionally unavailable? Does it mean they aren't/cant meet our needs and if so is it our jobs to deal with these needs? Are alanon folks needy people just as part of our own dis-ease? Is our higher power the answer to our perceived needs? Also, are we alanoners attracted...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Woke up this rainy Saturday morning with an inner confidence. Following what felt like a battering over the last few days in my mind and attitudes. It feels like i am coming out the other end having had a darn good kick about and review of my outdated thinking patterns. A lot of completely unfounded guil...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha David and Kalamai...just got home from my morning meeting and heard of the monster earth quake on your island. Hope you and the family are safe and secure and HP is holding on to you. Let us know how it goes brother. ((((hugs)))) -- Edited by Jerry F on Sunday 13th of November 2016 03:43:45 PM

Lucy125 · Lucy125

Blame is useless. It's all about spinning the wheels. Accountability is different. I should have held the person in my life accountable. When his behavior was bad, long before the alcohol, I should have said, and calmly stated how I wanted to be treated. I was afraid of confrontation. I just didn't...

vvv · vvv

I was just curious as to how you handle when the alcoholic in your life is drunk and says awful crazy things? Obviously I feel like what I have done in the past doesn't work or at least feel like the right thing. I usually just ignore it unless it really upsets me, then I'll bring it up the next day. Is this beh...

KT2015 · KT2015

The last few weeks have been really great between my AH and I. It feels like things suddenly magically got a lot better between us. I know that isn't the case (the sudden magic part) but I think what has happened is that as I've practiced the program he's picked up some things along the way too. I've be...

El · El

Oh, I lost it big time today. My serenity went right out the window.....which thank goodness the windows were closed or the neighbors would have heard an earful! I recently posted that I know that my AH's mood can and usually changes as the day goes on. The kind, thoughtful, listening husband in t...

Fooled · Fooled

Today my RAH achieved 45 days of sobriety. Its a big deal because he has never made it past this point ever. (Except for the 90 days straight he was at sea when in the Navy 20 years ago) I have seen a sort of shift in him lately that he is serious and wants this. He has returned to AA and still goes to IOP 3...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

Coming up on a year since I returned to al-anon and grateful for the changes in my life. Thanks to the program and HP, I've set boundaries about pot in my house and excessive drinking, and my husband has complied. I no longer feel compelled to check for levels in bottles. The unmistakable scent of pot hid...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I guess I need to turn this over to the higher power. I feel so alone. My mom is old, and losing her son was quite a blow.

kadriliisa · kadriliisa

Do you know is there suggested commitment in al anon? I am just thinking how committed everyone should be in small meeting to keep door open kind of.

joker · joker

I was so sick yesterday, I was throwing up, at my sisters house. I talked to the abf and had him pick me up so I can come home. I needed to be home. I had to leave my car behind as I could not drive. Today, I am still ill. I am still planning to leave once I am better. I confronted the abf about his ex-wife going to sp...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 13 speaks about the slogan :"First things first.". It points out that many times we get caught up in trivial matters, and then tend to neglect the most important ones simply because we fail to make time for the important ones.The reading points out that the first t...

serenity47 · serenity47

Today is a day of reflection for me. A year ago my relationship with my AD was in a shambles, life was crazy and I was stressed beyond anything imaginable and felt hopeless that it was ever going to change. Well it has changed in a remarkable way. This weekend was the first time my AD had been back home si...

joker · joker

I am so done with the abf. I am beyond disgusted. I am seeing him for what a selfish prick he really his. On Monday I had to go for surgery on my stomack, he did not take me or pick me up. I made my own arrangements. Yesterday he decided to get drunk and kept me up all night. I am still in a lot of pain. It was major su...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c likens learning to use our al-anon tools to oiling a saw- it doesn't change the equipment we have but it makes it a lot easier to use what we have and to use those assets in a much more productive way. It points out that we might be skeptical about the usefullness of the process but if we take a lea...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

I have struggled for so lomy having the strength and courage to leave my abf..but I believe I am ready. He came back from rehab 3 weeks ago and is back to all his old ways..I think I need to go..for me, and for him. He won't get better while I'm here, and I am getting worse in my own codependency. I am scared..b...

lookingup · lookingup

Not letting others steal or take away my power ,my happiness,has been a tough one for me today,trying to find ways to make it stop or putting a stop to it,some do it in a subtle way others do it openly, ive been belittled,knocked down,used in many ways. all this does to me is keep me down,depressed,low sel...

LinSC · LinSC

Repeatedly bailing them out - of jail, financial problems, other "tight spots" they get themselves intoGiving them "one more chance" - then another...and another...Ignoring the problem - because they get defensive when you bring it up or your hope that it will magically go awayJoining them i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Abandonment Issues (Preview) This keeps recurring for me and lately Ive been thinking about where it comes from and its becoming clear to me why I ended up with my exah. He fulfilled the roles played out in my childhood, being emotionally unavailable, the regular feelings of being rejected and abandoned. Every time he took a drink...	el-cee	13	3621	Nov 21, 2016 by el-cee
	11/21/16 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's reading addresses the feeling that we have been in AlAnon long enough that we should not be experiencing as many problems as we are. We could be tempted to blame ourselves, or even the program. It makes sense that we would feel we have more problems than before. Before AlAnon, we may have though...	Enigmatic	4	469	Nov 21, 2016 by El
	realization (Preview) Last Sunday I posted that I absolutely lost it with AH and his snide commentary on just about everything. In this past week I have come to the realization that his diseased thinking is certainly becoming more irrational and his social interactions are less controlled.....really, really awkward...	El	2	478	Nov 21, 2016 by el-cee
	Crying on my kitchen floor (Preview) My husband is dry for two months. He doesn't buy into AA and isn't working anything but he is seeing a therapist. For the past two months he's been all over the place-sickness, depression, sleepless nights, oversleeping, euphoria, everything. It's exhausting. I'm getting better at working my pro...	Prissykitty	12	700	Nov 20, 2016 by Desperateinnyc
	Courage to Change reading 11-20-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 20 speaks about the fact that Alcoholism tends to break the spirit of those who live with the disease . Al-Anon understands this and offers us fellowship so as to break the isolation, the connection with a sponsor so as to rebuild our ability to trust another and the...	hotrod	1	1775	Nov 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Blind dates (Preview) I'm not into the br,gf thingy again and for sure not never into the blind dating games,I never liked . freinds sure try to know what's best for us single women, freinds try hard to fix me up with somebody, the answers been no,no,no im not ready for dating,etc im presently working my steps. with god,mysel...	lookingup	6	493	Nov 20, 2016 by lookingup
	Thanksgiving (Preview) I've made plans for thanksgiving with my dad which lives in next state over from mine,and plans with my son lives down south of me ,son and wife is packing ,getting ready to move into their newly bought home. so I've obligated myself to both,my dads and told my son I'd just zip on down the hwy to his place to...	lookingup	5	547	Nov 20, 2016 by lookingup
	"Dry" Husband wants to take Ambien (Preview) My husband has been off of pain pills for about three months now. He's dry but by no means sober. He's moody and angry and depressed and anxious. He has self loathing and negative self talk that keeps him awake all night long. He's quite miserable. It's hard to watch him go through this, but I am really wor...	Prissykitty	17	1575	Nov 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Cut ties - feeling guilty (Preview) i am the daughter of a 'recovering' alcoholic mother. I would also class my father as an alcoholic, albeit a functioning one. my parents have always liked a drink but for my mum it became much more than that around 7/8 years ago. Obviously those years were very tough on us all as a family. We would come hom...	draineddaughter	5	522	Nov 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Unhealthy crush (Preview) Hi all, I am an Al-Anon member for almost 5 years now, and have been on this forum on and off. I have been regularly to meetings and working the steps with my sponsor, and have experienced so much healing! One thing I almost expected from recovery is that my relationships heal and improve on their own, whi...	Smukke	7	640	Nov 20, 2016 by 2HP
	I think he relapsed, and it's making me relapse (Preview) Hi. My alcoholic boyfriend of 4 years has been sober for 60 days (and working a program), but when I came home today after a long day at work, I had a feeling. I have a feeling. And my feelings are almost always right. He's not answering questions about his day, his eyes are bloodshot, and he's sneaking off...	l8after12	12	705	Nov 19, 2016 by Desperateinnyc
	Reaching the end (Preview) My daughter ran a successful small business ....she has always had problems handling money and has always drunk to a degree...she is married to someone who is the same but less willing to earn a living.....In 2007 they had a beautiful little girl....In October 2010 their family was completed by the a...	leannewales	7	561	Nov 19, 2016 by Jerry F
	Wait, wut?? (Preview) Went to my new psychologist yesterday. I like her. She's not cheap but she seems to actually be on board "with" me which is, I assume, the general idea. I haven't experienced that before. She feels that from what I describe, maybe I've been stuck in a very entrenched lifelong pattern of accepting abuse...	MissM	24	839	Nov 19, 2016 by Lucy125
	Well he passed away (Preview) Thank you everyone on here for helping me during this dark time. My al anon group was a great help to me. I am certain there will be more dark days to come. I could not have done it without you. I am sad he could not find recovery, but it was a great gift to me and my mom. It's a gift to my whole family. Once aga...	Lucy125	17	659	Nov 19, 2016 by Lucy125
	Courage to Change 11=19-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 19 speaks about how we felt when we first enter Al-Anon and the soul sickness that brings us into the rooms. The reading indicates that we come because we think we're going to learn how to fix our loved ones because Alcoholism has affected our lives in such a powerful wa...	hotrod	1	450	Nov 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Out of control (Preview) I'm feeling like I am out of control. Is it normal to feel this way when first getting to the hard part of the program? I feel lost, like I've lost everything I've ever known. I don't know how to behave. I was used to behaving a certain way, a way that obviously wasn't working for me or anyone around me, but a...	sarahGee	4	541	Nov 18, 2016 by e_i_m
	Narcissists, Alcohol and divorce (Preview) Is it more difficult for a diagnosed narcissist to recover from Alcohol addiction and divorce? My loved one was a secret alcoholic. Anyone else dealt with a secret alcoholic?	Lucy125	11	648	Nov 18, 2016 by Lucy125
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/18/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the extensive ways our sanity can be restored with the Second Step of our program. So many of us arrive at Al-Anon and struggle to realize the limited ways we experience life. There is no doubt that being restored to sanity includes the ability to function responsibly an...	Iamhere	5	504	Nov 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Obsessive/Impolsive Behaviour (Preview) Does anyone else have obsessive or Impolsive behaviours? I have found I impulse shop if I'm feeling anxious, down or if I just have a thought. I'm also this way with sugary sweet things. Also thank you for the warm welcome.ð	Miss A	4	538	Nov 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/16/16 (Preview) I am posting a day early as I'm having company from out of town tomorrow.... The daily reading talks about how important the phrase we here often -- Keep Coming Back -- is. No matter how short or long we've been exposed to our program of recovery, we are reminded that we can come back to the program basics...	Iamhere	2	475	Nov 17, 2016 by lookingup
	Feeling insecure (Preview) Since my break up with my ex ABF I am realizing how insecure I really am, and that its fueled most of my anxiety. I have been asking my higher power to help me push away negative thoughts but would like to know some things you all might do to help you when dealing with this.	ItsAllAboutMeMC	5	607	Nov 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	flashbacks (Preview) My AH is sober 52 days. I am grateful for his sobriety and working hard to forgive and let go. I really don't want to relive his past transgressions. The really ugly stuff. I am trying to focus on today. Sometimes though I get flashbacks of times when he was active. For example, when he came hom...	Fooled	5	518	Nov 17, 2016 by Lucy125
	The language we use (Preview) Reading some of these posts got me thinking. It really is important that we watch what we say around the A and how we say it. I haven't finished all of my CAL but I'm learning a lot from what I've read. We get blamed for a lot. And then feel the need to stick up for ourselves and that just keeps the cycle going. T...	sarahGee	11	689	Nov 17, 2016 by 2HP
	Conceit, vanity and ego (Preview) Yesterdays reading was a good one, all about how when we take a hurt it can be because we think the whole world revolves around us and we get upset when a person or situation doesn't go our way. Wow, this is me right now and I hadn't linked it to being conceited, I had to look that word up and it means being egot...	el-cee	11	671	Nov 17, 2016 by el-cee
	Caught myself! (Preview) My sons are responsible for their school work each day after school. I work late & as a single mom I've had to put a lot of faith into them that they would complete what needs to be completed. It's easy to sneak things by me, I am not fully aware of each individual assignment. Anyway, I happened to hear...	sarahGee	2	394	Nov 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	One Day at a Time (Preview) I have always struggled with staying in the present, I always plan for the future. Wether it be next month or three years from now. I don't start thinking from the beginning, I start thinking about the end result. I've noticed if I don't have a plan in place I get anxious. I'd say this need for control st...	Miss A	4	547	Nov 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	What do I do now??? (Preview) Hi everyone! I am new here but already feeling grateful to have found this resource. I am 42 yrs old. Both parents struggled with addiction (drugs, food and alcohol) my ENTIRE life, causing me (oldest child in the family) to often times feel like the parent. Fast forward to May of this year, my mom a...	babyhorsie	4	505	Nov 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Control (Preview) My now grown kids are both successfully married and on their own,have been for several yrs now,still miss them, especially my 3 grandsons by my daughter I never get to see for their father joined airforce way back when they were babies now teens except 1 will be soon,oldest is 16 ,my daughter and her hub...	lookingup	3	494	Nov 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Trying to co-exist with a dry drunk (Preview) I haven't been on here in awhile but when I'm struggling I get on here and read all of your stories and I am so thankful for this group. But my AH has been progressively getting worse with his disease. He has since quit going out partying to now drinking all day/night in our garage. Last weekend it got so bad...	Dlove	9	625	Nov 16, 2016 by Kim C
	Garfield (Preview) Over a year ago, we had a stray kitty show up at our door. We like to support strays by feeding them and keeping water bowls out. This kitty would show up and disappear again, so we figured he was living the good life with other gigs out there providing his needs. His orange color, enormous head, and his...	2HP	7	843	Nov 16, 2016 by serenity47
	11/16/16 Courage to Change – “Let Go and Let God” (Preview) This reading is a great follow up to yesterday's Hope for Today reading, which highlighted the various ways the AlAnon slogan "Let Go and Let God" can be used. Today's C2C looks at what we can try if we are having difficulty with the 'letting go' part. Some have found success with visualizing turning th...	Enigmatic	5	2613	Nov 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Dangerous black and white thinking (Preview) I believe more than anything, this idea of 100 percent perfection or 100 percent failure caused my brother to die. Apparently, the people who knew he was alcoholic, said he tried to quit, but would quickly become discouraged after a relapse. He clearly needed professional help, but was afraid, be...	Lucy125	7	763	Nov 15, 2016 by Lucy125
	Trying to move forward (Preview) hi, Alanon Family, Been reading a lot here, to help me get strength. Reading lots of posts on divorce, taking comfort in the fact so many others have trod this beaten path. Finally told my AH this weekend that I am ready to move forward with divorce. Been living apart for 15 months, and I don't see much wi...	oceanpine	5	468	Nov 15, 2016 by e_i_m
	Step 6 on the Step Board (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62899870/alanon-step-6-11-15-2016/Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active...	hotrod	0	364	Nov 15, 2016 by hotrod
	TAKE it easy on me (Preview) Im currently recovering through treatment and time from this wreched back. Im having a MRI THUrs. Gave myself a talking to this morning about taking it easy on myself and lowering my expectations on myself during this healing. First me than others right now. My house is a mess,laundry etc but i cant do...	YARNCRAZY	1	479	Nov 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sister in recovery has never made amends but says it's unfair to use her past against her (Preview) I'm posting here because I don't know where else to post this. My sister got out of prison 2 years ago. Before that she was on all kinds of drugs and into many illegal activities. She now lives in a recovery house. Before going to prison she stole about $6000 worth of things from me. This is nothing compare...	Familyofaddicts	6	589	Nov 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	LYING/I Am shocked. (Preview) I called all the relatives, what few there are, to tell them of my brother's passing. Apparently, he lied to them about me and said I had cut him out of our lives! He also lied about them as I found out my cousin did not forbid him from attending funeral. My cousin said she confronted him about what she th...	Lucy125	6	499	Nov 15, 2016 by sarahGee
	My dad has died (Preview) So my alcoholic father has now died. I dont feel anything at all. Is this normal? This man was never ever there for me, he was always in the pub. Its like nothing has changed and nothing has happened...am I normal?	kittenpea	10	1804	Nov 15, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Doesn't feel great, but reality is a good place to be (Preview) AH chose to stay up late watching tv. He is now tired. He also asked "how much am I required to participate today?" To which I responded, "You get to chooses for yourself." (Yay tools!) But then I asked, "Are you low energy? It sounds like you don't want to hang out with us." (Woops, maybe shouldn't poke t...	Taraxacum	8	476	Nov 15, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Hope for Today Nov 15 (Preview) good morning everybody- Today's reading is about the slogan 'Let Go and Let God'. The thought for the day reminds us that the order of wording in this slogan is important- in order for us to turn things over to our HP, we have to be able to stop clutching at them. I have been thinking about the opening of th...	yanksfan51	3	538	Nov 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	11/14/16 One Day at a Time in AlAnon – Prayer/Gratitude (Preview) Today's reading points to the power of prayer and gratitude in our recovery. When we are struggling, a plea for help from our higher power may be all we can manage. The help we receive from such a prayer can really boost our faith and confidence in our hp. Prayer can also convey our gratitude for this life...	Enigmatic	4	2048	Nov 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	What is emotional unavailability? (Preview) What does it mean if someone is emotionally unavailable? Does it mean they aren't/cant meet our needs and if so is it our jobs to deal with these needs? Are alanon folks needy people just as part of our own dis-ease? Is our higher power the answer to our perceived needs? Also, are we alanoners attracted...	el-cee	9	3162	Nov 15, 2016 by el-cee
	Hi all (Preview) Woke up this rainy Saturday morning with an inner confidence. Following what felt like a battering over the last few days in my mind and attitudes. It feels like i am coming out the other end having had a darn good kick about and review of my outdated thinking patterns. A lot of completely unfounded guil...	Calm Lady	12	782	Nov 14, 2016 by Jerry F
	DavidG (Preview) Aloha David and Kalamai...just got home from my morning meeting and heard of the monster earth quake on your island. Hope you and the family are safe and secure and HP is holding on to you. Let us know how it goes brother. ((((hugs)))) -- Edited by Jerry F on Sunday 13th of November 2016 03:43:45 PM	Jerry F	10	592	Nov 14, 2016 by Jen61
	Blame verses Accountability (Preview) Blame is useless. It's all about spinning the wheels. Accountability is different. I should have held the person in my life accountable. When his behavior was bad, long before the alcohol, I should have said, and calmly stated how I wanted to be treated. I was afraid of confrontation. I just didn't...	Lucy125	5	2954	Nov 14, 2016 by Lucy125
	What do you all do? (Preview) I was just curious as to how you handle when the alcoholic in your life is drunk and says awful crazy things? Obviously I feel like what I have done in the past doesn't work or at least feel like the right thing. I usually just ignore it unless it really upsets me, then I'll bring it up the next day. Is this beh...	vvv	9	563	Nov 14, 2016 by Jerry F
	Let it begin with me....? (Preview) The last few weeks have been really great between my AH and I. It feels like things suddenly magically got a lot better between us. I know that isn't the case (the sudden magic part) but I think what has happened is that as I've practiced the program he's picked up some things along the way too. I've be...	KT2015	4	476	Nov 14, 2016 by El
	Blip in my serenity (Preview) Oh, I lost it big time today. My serenity went right out the window.....which thank goodness the windows were closed or the neighbors would have heard an earful! I recently posted that I know that my AH's mood can and usually changes as the day goes on. The kind, thoughtful, listening husband in t...	El	9	495	Nov 14, 2016 by El
	Life is not fair (Preview) Today my RAH achieved 45 days of sobriety. Its a big deal because he has never made it past this point ever. (Except for the 90 days straight he was at sea when in the Navy 20 years ago) I have seen a sort of shift in him lately that he is serious and wants this. He has returned to AA and still goes to IOP 3...	Fooled	18	654	Nov 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Progress after a year, thinking still distorted (Preview) Coming up on a year since I returned to al-anon and grateful for the changes in my life. Thanks to the program and HP, I've set boundaries about pot in my house and excessive drinking, and my husband has complied. I no longer feel compelled to check for levels in bottles. The unmistakable scent of pot hid...	Mcat54	3	520	Nov 14, 2016 by Fooled
	I am afraid my mom is going to decline over this (Preview) I guess I need to turn this over to the higher power. I feel so alone. My mom is old, and losing her son was quite a blow.	Lucy125	3	454	Nov 13, 2016 by serenity47
	Suggested commitment in small al anon mtg? (Preview) Do you know is there suggested commitment in al anon? I am just thinking how committed everyone should be in small meeting to keep door open kind of.	kadriliisa	1	425	Nov 13, 2016 by hotrod
	focusing on today (Preview) I was so sick yesterday, I was throwing up, at my sisters house. I talked to the abf and had him pick me up so I can come home. I needed to be home. I had to leave my car behind as I could not drive. Today, I am still ill. I am still planning to leave once I am better. I confronted the abf about his ex-wife going to sp...	joker	0	326	Nov 13, 2016 by joker
	Courage to Change reading for 11-13-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 13 speaks about the slogan :"First things first.". It points out that many times we get caught up in trivial matters, and then tend to neglect the most important ones simply because we fail to make time for the important ones.The reading points out that the first t...	hotrod	2	735	Nov 13, 2016 by Enigmatic
	A lot can change in a year (Preview) Today is a day of reflection for me. A year ago my relationship with my AD was in a shambles, life was crazy and I was stressed beyond anything imaginable and felt hopeless that it was ever going to change. Well it has changed in a remarkable way. This weekend was the first time my AD had been back home si...	serenity47	5	502	Nov 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	I have hit my bottom (Preview) I am so done with the abf. I am beyond disgusted. I am seeing him for what a selfish prick he really his. On Monday I had to go for surgery on my stomack, he did not take me or pick me up. I made my own arrangements. Yesterday he decided to get drunk and kept me up all night. I am still in a lot of pain. It was major su...	joker	7	535	Nov 13, 2016 by el-cee
	Courage to Change 12/11 (Preview) Today's c2c likens learning to use our al-anon tools to oiling a saw- it doesn't change the equipment we have but it makes it a lot easier to use what we have and to use those assets in a much more productive way. It points out that we might be skeptical about the usefullness of the process but if we take a lea...	MissM	3	443	Nov 12, 2016 by e_i_m
	I think I can leave now... (Preview) I have struggled for so lomy having the strength and courage to leave my abf..but I believe I am ready. He came back from rehab 3 weeks ago and is back to all his old ways..I think I need to go..for me, and for him. He won't get better while I'm here, and I am getting worse in my own codependency. I am scared..b...	Desperateinnyc	7	535	Nov 12, 2016 by pinkchip
	Keeping my power (Preview) Not letting others steal or take away my power ,my happiness,has been a tough one for me today,trying to find ways to make it stop or putting a stop to it,some do it in a subtle way others do it openly, ive been belittled,knocked down,used in many ways. all this does to me is keep me down,depressed,low sel...	lookingup	5	527	Nov 12, 2016 by lookingup
	ENABLING examples of (Preview) Repeatedly bailing them out - of jail, financial problems, other "tight spots" they get themselves intoGiving them "one more chance" - then another...and another...Ignoring the problem - because they get defensive when you bring it up or your hope that it will magically go awayJoining them i...	LinSC	17	802	Nov 12, 2016 by LinSC
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.