Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

serenity47 · serenity47

I think it is going on three to four years since I joined this forum. I remember clearly the big deep dark hole I was in when I crawled in here desperate to save my daughter. Its been a rough ride and things are far from perfect. However, what I have noticed is the changes in me. I no longer over react and r...

andromeda · andromeda

After I told my bf NO to his ridiculous request from my other thread.... His next text was, "You still have to let me know how we broke up in one week sometime in the near future. I'm still shocked.....I was planning on proposing this week and maybe that's why I'm shocked." Ummm, proposing? From the m...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm still learning how to enventory myself , ive read diff. Formats of working it on paper,and heard others do their enventory by mind. i can see the importance of doing an enventory each n everyday, i have tried writing it out on paper had no success . i would love to hear how others here can perhaps expla...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! I'm running a bit late this morning, thanks to some car issues, which makes today's reading in Courage to Change especially fitting.

The author shares that they and many others often come to AlAnon with the philosophy that if something works, it will work even better if we try harder....

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, I'm hammering out will hopefully be the final draft of my separation agreement with my ex. I have primary custody - he will have access and no overnights. My question is around vacation and access - I have major concerns that he will try and control my life/make my life difficult if I try an...

ling · ling

AH on bail and staying at his dads for a couple of weeks til court case. Would u give him another chance? A suggestion for our getting my 'trust' back talk - what action could we take? Help!

hopefulmom1 · hopefulmom1

Thanks for adding me. I am glad to be here. Right now I am trying to start working the steps and working on ME. I have finally admitted that this has taken over my life. I thought my husband hit his rock bottom on St. Patricks Day when the police had to be called, but after 2 months (I think) of sobriety he...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I came home from work yesterday after having the best day in a long time, to find something amiss. Couldn't put my finger on it... air conditioning was on, TV was on, Kid's bed looked slept in, dog was waiting by door, Kid's phone on floor near mattress. "Hi, I'm home!" No answer. Hmmmm. Maybe he is up at...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 17 speaks about learning to live life by focusing on ourselves,as well as allowing others to do the same. The reading suggests that we keep in mind that we have our own life to live and this life is separate from others. We must take actions and make decisions which might affe...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

Sorry I haven't posted here in awhile - although I do check in and attend regular f2f alanon meetings in my area. To cut a long story short, AH left for 6 months and came back and all was Ok for awhile, but he is back on the slippery slope downwards. Things are deteriorating day by day and I am really struggl...

alis · alis

HI I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and have been trying to break up with him for around a year of that time. Before Christmas last year I made it very clear that I would not be seeing him again and that this would not change. Previously during our 'breakups', he would promise to be reliable, then...

Bogie18 · Bogie18

Hi all, I'm been with my husband 9+ years now. When we first met, a self confident, ambitious, happy man. We married at 40 - both realizing we really had been waiting for each others. All those frogs? I found him (obviously not perfect, who is) but I've never been happier. Over the years,though, his job...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

These days I am just enjoying my summer & relaxing a lot. I am so grateful that the sun has been shining every day lately. I am so glad I can come on here & express more positive thoughts. I have been doing the best I can to follow this program. Especially one day at a time. I am so blessed that I can say...

New Member Hello · amsorann

Hello All! I've been a silent lurker of your message board for quite some time now, finally conjuring up the courage to say Hi! I'm Angela. I've been an "active" member of Al-Anon for about 3 years now. I say "active" because I've been off and on since I started the program - at times, thinking I could...

Lyne · Lyne

Importance of non-busy time: The reading today discusses how many people stay so busy as to avoid and deny their feelings. A constant frenzy of activity keeps us focused outward. Abusing activities is different than just plain hard work. And sometimes it becomes difficult to relax at all. In A...

mamalioness · mamalioness

TODAY, I am grateful for: I am living in more faith (in me and HP within) and less fear, thanks to program and step 3 My younger daughters toe is healing and she may not lose the entire nail As far as I know, older daughter is still sober I got another vintage piece of furniture at my favorite thrift shop for...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on step 8, when we make a list of people we have harmed and are willing to make amends. The writer shares that at a sponsors suggestion, he/she made this list in column form, with the 3rd column describing the harmful act. As is described, being specif...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading for July 14 speaks about the burden of guilt and how making amends offers-a great release from it. The reading suggests that we often do not like facing the harm that we have done in the past and so, without knowing it.,we carry the goats with us. By having the courage to look at the past, o...

Pol · Pol

A few years ago I decided that I was going to love on with my life and my little family. I stopped contact with my family I grew up with because my parents are alcoholics and in turn my siblings turned into alcoholics(i went the other way and got depression). The damaged that this has caused means everyone...

Freetime · Freetime

Happy Friday the 13th everyone! Some believe this is an unlucky day, but to me it is a lucky day because... well, I only have to live this one day today, and I feel very blessed. In today's ODAAT page, the writer expresses gratitude for being led to Al-Anon and receiving the sharing and comfort of others...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses 'encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives' as part of Tradition Five. The writer was a bit confused as Al-Anon suggests that we focus on ourselves and this suggests we seek to understand and encourage others. The reading goes on to suggest that perhaps we t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

And this can be related to when it's all about the other person and their obliviousness to the fact of how much pain they have caused .. I swear God knew what He was doing when I moved out of State because I would so be in prison orange right now. My oldest has had a LOT on their plate over the past year .. a...

mamalioness · mamalioness

not alanon material... -- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 7th of July 2018 07:42:38 AM

JerryF · JerryF

The enabler, codependent in me is rattled. I don't like where it has found itself as a consequence of thinking I would be nice while not giving myself boundaries to stay within and now I need to follow the guidelines of the program especially those about being honest with myself and doing the next ri...

Want to Bloom · Want to Bloom

So what to say...I had been dating an alcoholic for seven years (though he insists he was not an alcoholic when I met him). We have had a turbulent relationship to say the least. He went to rehab last year, was sober for 6 months and then fell off the wagon in April. In May I was admitted to hospital aft...

a4l · a4l

I was reading through some old posts of success stories, having watched a few more blooming. Success. What is it for those of us who qualify for this programme? Somewhere over the last six months, I had really drifted out to sea. Rowing back to shore now that I recall it's direction. I looked up some old p...

Happymoggy · Happymoggy

Hi, Iâm new here, I havent been to a alanon meeting yet, Iâm plsnning on going when I can get my kids babysat. In hindsight my husband has been a functioning alcoholic since we met as teenagers, he always had that extra drink, always finished the bottle of wine on the sly thinking no one had noticed anywa...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I was wrong for what I just did, I am over it at this point. I wrote the email with the idea I can let go of whatever the outcome is, I am tired of this coming back on my oldest. And it needs to stop, you know light stops the darkness and the lying, secrets and so on .. so .. let there be light and sorry for ya if you...

Hesees · Hesees

I've been chairing for about 2 months or so and would like op status myself, but if not me, we need somebody. We had an idler for at least 48 hrs and nobody online with the power to kick them. How can we keep the chat room safe with no ops?

sadtimes · sadtimes

Hi all I have joined this group because I am not sure what I should do right now. I'm sorry if this is a long story... I have been with my husband for a long time. We have had a lot of challenges in our lives but always got through them, we have always loved each other very much. Around 2 years ago he started dri...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, it has been a while since I have checked in. I just passed the one year anniversary since my STBXAH and I split. I am feeling amazing for the most part, but also pretty stressed as we reach the closing date on our home. I am happy to be free of all our ties, but his tension and behaviour have escal...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about feeling our feelings and balancing them with appropriate action. The author shares that they used to deal with anger in appropriate ways - denial, fury, bottling or directing feelings outward. With the help of AlAnon, the author learned to acknowledg...

Almosthip · Almosthip

I have been married for 18 years. My husband is a drinker and a cocaine addict. I finally had courage to make him leave 3 weeks ago. He did have a safe place to stay, but he doesn't anymore. Hes begging me to come home, stating I am making him sleep in the streets. I have 3 teenagers, 2 of which still live...

uhohcheerio · uhohcheerio

Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone has insight. My boyfriend has agreed to not drink around me or on the days he sees me. Sometimes he drinks before seeing me and tries to hide it. I realize that asking him to not drink was kind of ridiculous and never going to work, and now it's causing more insanity than doi...

Jayla · Jayla

This past weekend was my ex AHs turn to have our children for the weekend. He also had his older son (10 years). So once the weekend was over and the older son returned to his mother, she contacted me (we have a good relationship) to let me know what her son had told her about his weekend with his dad. He said d...

joker · joker

Last Wednesday, without notice, the ex alcoholic bf send me a text to say he is on his way to my home. I have joint title on the house with him. I was shocked that he drove 14 hours to surprise me without notice that he was coming to the house. I was stunned. I thought he would be her to do the renovations on the h...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for July 10 speaks about being angry and not appreciating the efforts of a cheerful optimist. We are suffering and feel that we are not properly understood, and that people can't even begin to appreciate what a martyr we are.The reading suggests that we should pick up the Just for...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

As an FYI there are multiple resources to pull from when in crisis .. not only coming here .. there are many support websites where information can be found. YouTube has a show called The Recovery Show and they offer a whole lot of good speakers from Mary Pearl to Eileen C, Larcene, Father Tom, .. so many...

Lyne · Lyne

With all my program tools and other helpers, I can SEE now what happened to me. In a way it's hard for me to accept that I got caught in the former merry-go-round called: I know what's best for my A (to go to AA), and because she won't do it, I gave up my serenity. I have learned that I can practice acceptanc...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I keep crying....on and off. Not really depressed but just letting it out. My bf's ex wife texted me today to thank me for being so good to her girls. She told me how much the kids enjoyed me and she said I deserved better than him. She said I was a sweet person and she hoped that I would find a great guy...

Aline · Aline

Hi, MIP! I've been thinking of checking in for a while and here I finally am doing that. Lately I've been more focused on doing the steps (I'm on Step 6) and also f2f meetings. I was at a wonderful ACA summer camp that went for a couple of days, and something opened up in me, I felt and feel it, but I don't know w...

Lyne · Lyne

Finding Reality: The author says if we don't face the whole picture, if we ignore parts of the truth, and/or if we pretend, we set ourselves up for disappointment and devastation. Living with alcoholics, our sense of reality was always shifting. Our lives stayed unmanageable. By sharing with o...

ginnyc · ginnyc

Since this is the 7th month a few meetings I have attended in the last week have focused on step 7. I went to a wonderful meeting this morning. I wanted to raise my hand and share but chickened out! lol. One thought that struck me and what I took away from the meeting is that our higher power, I choose to call i...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the difference having a program can make in ones life. The writer describes a home life as angry and chaotic. Although the writers mother stopped actively drinking, she also never had a program, so the writer describes learning to enjoy the healthy p...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP Family, The 4th has Always been a Big Deal to my Mom's Family, its the One time year, regardless of the day it falls on, We Show Up, Same Time & Place Every Year! My Grandma in Heaven started it 60 years ago, she has now been Gone 30yrs this year and now My Generation Organize it while the El...

ginnyc · ginnyc

Hello question for everyone. I am fairly new to practicing the alanon program. My story is adult child of a alcoholic, very abusive, all that goes with it. I am a adult now. Rather get into all the details basically I have been looking for recovery all my life and alanon is truly the way for me. I have adult...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today the folks in the next department had a b'day party for one of their coworkers. I've only been at the company a very short time but this gal has gotten pretty friendly with me. She was friendly with the gal who filled my job before me and tried to help her with my nutty supervisor. If you've been follow...

lookingup · lookingup

The CTC reading For July 7 speaks about how conflicts can surface in every interaction because there is a possibility of confrontation. The reading goes on to say that prior to program we thought it was important to assign blame over issues. This attitude can instill anger and make us defensi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

While search the web for something completely different, I ran across this list of neutral responses...we have discussed these before and I thought it might be helpful to have them all in one place! That's interesting. Let me think about that. Thank you for the information. Thank you for supporting...

andromeda · andromeda

SO, my bf decided to tell his kids about us breaking up tonight. They are in Portland staying downtown and he had planned a fun night of watching fireworks and hanging out downtown. It sounded fun. Instead he texted me earlier and told me, "Not sure how to tel the girls." I told him I'm sorry and that I...

JerryF · JerryF

I have a strong memory character and much rather have that triggered gently than to find myself in the middle of the sights and sounds and smells and emotions of when I first learned how to inventory the what the when the where and who what was my part in it. I don't have much of a defense against relivin...

Freetime · Freetime

When we come into Al-Anon, we may feel that life has been treating us unfairly and that we deserve better because of what we have been through. This page in Courage to Change suggests that Instead of being angry about what life has given us, it might be better for us to ask what we can give. By reaching out t...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Hello MIP family! I hope everyone who celebrates, had an amazing holiday! I have been sitting with some feelings of resentment, and something just triggered them again. My sponsor told me to write about it, so that I could "release it." So I thought I would write here... I may not be able to release thes...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses detachment. Detachment is suggested as the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs. This freedom allows us to keep our own identity and still love, care about and identify with the feelings of others. The writer suggests that our degree of huma...

JerryF · JerryF

This text emoticon is/was real for me yesterday as We went on the hunt for my youngest son's elderly, deaf, lame pet Beagle named "Poke". My son asked if I could care for her while he and my daughter in law and granddaughters were in Guatemala doing mission work for/with their church. Poke is a jungle d...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I know for some this may be a challenge, but using program tools, we ALL CAN have a great 4th by remembering and practicing the slogan "keep the focus on us" My brother is back on shore, missing, undoubtedly drinking, but you know what?? I will lift him in prayer, do my thing..Today I will play basketball...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hello everyone, It's been a while since I've posted on this forum. But I've come back to try to find some positive words. I'm extremely depressed, my AH boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. The 1st 2 years of our relationship was a complete sham I found out a few weeks into the relationship he was a b...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I have a problem. Rentals around here are getting expensive. While I make decent money, I don't make that much. Turns out, a lot of places want me to make 3x the rent in salary and that's proving to be hard on one income. I want to get out of here by next Saturday. I just keep praying that I find a way o...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! To those who celebrate American Independence, Happy 4th! I've forgotten my C2C at work, so today's reading is from Today's Hope. The author reflects on step eight and stresses that step 8 is not meant to punish us, but rather to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord. The author share...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

I just noticed yesterday (because I am not focusing on my AH) that he isn't wearing his wedding ring band. I asked him and he told me that he lost it working almost 6 months ago and was surprised that I just now noticed. I think i was more upset that he didn't bother to tell me when it first happened. Not so muc...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Baby steps/being ok even whn others are not/progress (Preview) I think it is going on three to four years since I joined this forum. I remember clearly the big deep dark hole I was in when I crawled in here desperate to save my daughter. Its been a rough ride and things are far from perfect. However, what I have noticed is the changes in me. I no longer over react and r...	serenity47	6	644	Jul 20, 2018 by Bo
	He was going to PROPOSE?? (Preview) After I told my bf NO to his ridiculous request from my other thread.... His next text was, "You still have to let me know how we broke up in one week sometime in the near future. I'm still shocked.....I was planning on proposing this week and maybe that's why I'm shocked." Ummm, proposing? From the m...	andromeda	20	1198	Jul 20, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Enventory of ourselves (Preview) I'm still learning how to enventory myself , ive read diff. Formats of working it on paper,and heard others do their enventory by mind. i can see the importance of doing an enventory each n everyday, i have tried writing it out on paper had no success . i would love to hear how others here can perhaps expla...	lookingup	6	717	Jul 19, 2018 by lookingup
	Courage to Change July 18 (Preview) Hello MIP! I'm running a bit late this morning, thanks to some car issues, which makes today's reading in Courage to Change especially fitting. The author shares that they and many others often come to AlAnon with the philosophy that if something works, it will work even better if we try harder....	Skorpi	7	1165	Jul 18, 2018 by JerryF
	Custody Question! (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hammering out will hopefully be the final draft of my separation agreement with my ex. I have primary custody - he will have access and no overnights. My question is around vacation and access - I have major concerns that he will try and control my life/make my life difficult if I try an...	VickiR	3	658	Jul 18, 2018 by oceanpine
	would u have him back? (Preview) AH on bail and staying at his dads for a couple of weeks til court case. Would u give him another chance? A suggestion for our getting my 'trust' back talk - what action could we take? Help!	ling	11	915	Jul 18, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	New Here (Preview) Thanks for adding me. I am glad to be here. Right now I am trying to start working the steps and working on ME. I have finally admitted that this has taken over my life. I thought my husband hit his rock bottom on St. Patricks Day when the police had to be called, but after 2 months (I think) of sobriety he...	hopefulmom1	7	1024	Jul 18, 2018 by hopefulmom1
	Angry and Afraid (Preview) So I came home from work yesterday after having the best day in a long time, to find something amiss. Couldn't put my finger on it... air conditioning was on, TV was on, Kid's bed looked slept in, dog was waiting by door, Kid's phone on floor near mattress. "Hi, I'm home!" No answer. Hmmmm. Maybe he is up at...	PosiesandPuppies	19	1027	Jul 17, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C 7-17-2018 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 17 speaks about learning to live life by focusing on ourselves,as well as allowing others to do the same. The reading suggests that we keep in mind that we have our own life to live and this life is separate from others. We must take actions and make decisions which might affe...	hotrod	8	754	Jul 17, 2018 by Tude
	Need some ESH and virtual hugs please (Preview) Sorry I haven't posted here in awhile - although I do check in and attend regular f2f alanon meetings in my area. To cut a long story short, AH left for 6 months and came back and all was Ok for awhile, but he is back on the slippery slope downwards. Things are deteriorating day by day and I am really struggl...	Bettertomorrow	13	916	Jul 17, 2018 by joker
	Breaking up (Preview) HI I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and have been trying to break up with him for around a year of that time. Before Christmas last year I made it very clear that I would not be seeing him again and that this would not change. Previously during our 'breakups', he would promise to be reliable, then...	alis	13	840	Jul 17, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Struggling with the guilt of needing time away - feedback requested - any POV (Preview) Hi all, I'm been with my husband 9+ years now. When we first met, a self confident, ambitious, happy man. We married at 40 - both realizing we really had been waiting for each others. All those frogs? I found him (obviously not perfect, who is) but I've never been happier. Over the years,though, his job...	Bogie18	10	775	Jul 17, 2018 by milkwood
	enjoying my summer! (Preview) These days I am just enjoying my summer & relaxing a lot. I am so grateful that the sun has been shining every day lately. I am so glad I can come on here & express more positive thoughts. I have been doing the best I can to follow this program. Especially one day at a time. I am so blessed that I can say...	Hoot Nanny	4	598	Jul 16, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	New Member Hello (Preview) Hello All! I've been a silent lurker of your message board for quite some time now, finally conjuring up the courage to say Hi! I'm Angela. I've been an "active" member of Al-Anon for about 3 years now. I say "active" because I've been off and on since I started the program - at times, thinking I could...	amsorann	9	750	Jul 16, 2018 by Jen61
	C2C, 7/16 (Preview) Importance of non-busy time: The reading today discusses how many people stay so busy as to avoid and deny their feelings. A constant frenzy of activity keeps us focused outward. Abusing activities is different than just plain hard work. And sometimes it becomes difficult to relax at all. In A...	Lyne	7	846	Jul 16, 2018 by Iamhere
	what am I grateful for today?? (Preview) TODAY, I am grateful for: I am living in more faith (in me and HP within) and less fear, thanks to program and step 3 My younger daughters toe is healing and she may not lose the entire nail As far as I know, older daughter is still sober I got another vintage piece of furniture at my favorite thrift shop for...	mamalioness	10	899	Jul 16, 2018 by RachelsMom
	Hope for Today July 15 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on step 8, when we make a list of people we have harmed and are willing to make amends. The writer shares that at a sponsors suggestion, he/she made this list in column form, with the 3rd column describing the harmful act. As is described, being specif...	yanksfan51	3	716	Jul 15, 2018 by DavidG
	CTC,,,,July 14 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 14 speaks about the burden of guilt and how making amends offers-a great release from it. The reading suggests that we often do not like facing the harm that we have done in the past and so, without knowing it.,we carry the goats with us. By having the courage to look at the past, o...	lookingup	4	752	Jul 14, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	constantly trying to keep in contact ðŸ˜¡ (Preview) A few years ago I decided that I was going to love on with my life and my little family. I stopped contact with my family I grew up with because my parents are alcoholics and in turn my siblings turned into alcoholics(i went the other way and got depression). The damaged that this has caused means everyone...	Pol	5	694	Jul 14, 2018 by Pol
	ODAAT - July 13 (Preview) Happy Friday the 13th everyone! Some believe this is an unlucky day, but to me it is a lucky day because... well, I only have to live this one day today, and I feel very blessed. In today's ODAAT page, the writer expresses gratitude for being led to Al-Anon and receiving the sharing and comfort of others...	Freetime	4	772	Jul 13, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 7/12/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses 'encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives' as part of Tradition Five. The writer was a bit confused as Al-Anon suggests that we focus on ourselves and this suggests we seek to understand and encourage others. The reading goes on to suggest that perhaps we t...	Iamhere	7	924	Jul 13, 2018 by Tude
	When it's ALL about the A .. (Preview) And this can be related to when it's all about the other person and their obliviousness to the fact of how much pain they have caused .. I swear God knew what He was doing when I moved out of State because I would so be in prison orange right now. My oldest has had a LOT on their plate over the past year .. a...	SerenityRUS	10	825	Jul 13, 2018 by Finding grace
	Alanon and etiquette (Preview) not alanon material... -- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 7th of July 2018 07:42:38 AM	mamalioness	11	954	Jul 13, 2018 by Finding grace
	In hindsight (Preview) The enabler, codependent in me is rattled. I don't like where it has found itself as a consequence of thinking I would be nice while not giving myself boundaries to stay within and now I need to follow the guidelines of the program especially those about being honest with myself and doing the next ri...	JerryF	10	813	Jul 13, 2018 by JerryF
	I'm New (Preview) So what to say...I had been dating an alcoholic for seven years (though he insists he was not an alcoholic when I met him). We have had a turbulent relationship to say the least. He went to rehab last year, was sober for 6 months and then fell off the wagon in April. In May I was admitted to hospital aft...	Want to Bloom	2	709	Jul 12, 2018 by starcatcher2
	can't think of a good subject line. (Preview) I was reading through some old posts of success stories, having watched a few more blooming. Success. What is it for those of us who qualify for this programme? Somewhere over the last six months, I had really drifted out to sea. Rowing back to shore now that I recall it's direction. I looked up some old p...	a4l	8	963	Jul 12, 2018 by DavidG
	New here (Preview) Hi, Iâm new here, I havent been to a alanon meeting yet, Iâm plsnning on going when I can get my kids babysat. In hindsight my husband has been a functioning alcoholic since we met as teenagers, he always had that extra drink, always finished the bottle of wine on the sly thinking no one had noticed anywa...	Happymoggy	10	1134	Jul 12, 2018 by Iamhere
	It could be .. (Preview) I was wrong for what I just did, I am over it at this point. I wrote the email with the idea I can let go of whatever the outcome is, I am tired of this coming back on my oldest. And it needs to stop, you know light stops the darkness and the lying, secrets and so on .. so .. let there be light and sorry for ya if you...	SerenityRUS	4	846	Jul 12, 2018 by Iamhere
	We need op status for chair people (Preview) I've been chairing for about 2 months or so and would like op status myself, but if not me, we need somebody. We had an idler for at least 48 hrs and nobody online with the power to kick them. How can we keep the chat room safe with no ops?	Hesees	6	925	Jul 11, 2018 by hidden_in_plain_sight
	New member needing advice about my husband's drinking (Preview) Hi all I have joined this group because I am not sure what I should do right now. I'm sorry if this is a long story... I have been with my husband for a long time. We have had a lot of challenges in our lives but always got through them, we have always loved each other very much. Around 2 years ago he started dri...	sadtimes	12	1020	Jul 11, 2018 by Aline
	Just checking in (Preview) Hi everyone, it has been a while since I have checked in. I just passed the one year anniversary since my STBXAH and I split. I am feeling amazing for the most part, but also pretty stressed as we reach the closing date on our home. I am happy to be free of all our ties, but his tension and behaviour have escal...	VickiR	6	819	Jul 11, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change July 11 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about feeling our feelings and balancing them with appropriate action. The author shares that they used to deal with anger in appropriate ways - denial, fury, bottling or directing feelings outward. With the help of AlAnon, the author learned to acknowledg...	Skorpi	6	950	Jul 11, 2018 by Pol
	Courage to make him leave, how to make him stay away (Preview) I have been married for 18 years. My husband is a drinker and a cocaine addict. I finally had courage to make him leave 3 weeks ago. He did have a safe place to stay, but he doesn't anymore. Hes begging me to come home, stating I am making him sleep in the streets. I have 3 teenagers, 2 of which still live...	Almosthip	4	858	Jul 11, 2018 by mamalioness
	Tried to control my boyfriend's drinking, now want to back out? (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone has insight. My boyfriend has agreed to not drink around me or on the days he sees me. Sometimes he drinks before seeing me and tries to hide it. I realize that asking him to not drink was kind of ridiculous and never going to work, and now it's causing more insanity than doi...	uhohcheerio	8	899	Jul 10, 2018 by Bo
	Custody issues with XAH (Preview) This past weekend was my ex AHs turn to have our children for the weekend. He also had his older son (10 years). So once the weekend was over and the older son returned to his mother, she contacted me (we have a good relationship) to let me know what her son had told her about his weekend with his dad. He said d...	Jayla	5	876	Jul 10, 2018 by Mattie
	The ex is ratteling to my core (Preview) Last Wednesday, without notice, the ex alcoholic bf send me a text to say he is on his way to my home. I have joint title on the house with him. I was shocked that he drove 14 hours to surprise me without notice that he was coming to the house. I was stunned. I thought he would be her to do the renovations on the h...	joker	6	932	Jul 10, 2018 by Mattie
	ODAT Reading 7-10-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for July 10 speaks about being angry and not appreciating the efforts of a cheerful optimist. We are suffering and feel that we are not properly understood, and that people can't even begin to appreciate what a martyr we are.The reading suggests that we should pick up the Just for...	hotrod	6	837	Jul 10, 2018 by Iamhere
	Podcasts and YouTube (Preview) As an FYI there are multiple resources to pull from when in crisis .. not only coming here .. there are many support websites where information can be found. YouTube has a show called The Recovery Show and they offer a whole lot of good speakers from Mary Pearl to Eileen C, Larcene, Father Tom, .. so many...	SerenityRUS	9	1035	Jul 10, 2018 by Pol
	Lost my serenity (Preview) With all my program tools and other helpers, I can SEE now what happened to me. In a way it's hard for me to accept that I got caught in the former merry-go-round called: I know what's best for my A (to go to AA), and because she won't do it, I gave up my serenity. I have learned that I can practice acceptanc...	Lyne	17	905	Jul 10, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Crying but with gratitude! (Preview) So, I keep crying....on and off. Not really depressed but just letting it out. My bf's ex wife texted me today to thank me for being so good to her girls. She told me how much the kids enjoyed me and she said I deserved better than him. She said I was a sweet person and she hoped that I would find a great guy...	andromeda	19	1272	Jul 9, 2018 by andromeda
	Checking in (Preview) Hi, MIP! I've been thinking of checking in for a while and here I finally am doing that. Lately I've been more focused on doing the steps (I'm on Step 6) and also f2f meetings. I was at a wonderful ACA summer camp that went for a couple of days, and something opened up in me, I felt and feel it, but I don't know w...	Aline	5	961	Jul 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	C2C, 7/9 (Preview) Finding Reality: The author says if we don't face the whole picture, if we ignore parts of the truth, and/or if we pretend, we set ourselves up for disappointment and devastation. Living with alcoholics, our sense of reality was always shifting. Our lives stayed unmanageable. By sharing with o...	Lyne	6	952	Jul 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	step 7 (Preview) Since this is the 7th month a few meetings I have attended in the last week have focused on step 7. I went to a wonderful meeting this morning. I wanted to raise my hand and share but chickened out! lol. One thought that struck me and what I took away from the meeting is that our higher power, I choose to call i...	ginnyc	5	975	Jul 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today July 8 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the difference having a program can make in ones life. The writer describes a home life as angry and chaotic. Although the writers mother stopped actively drinking, she also never had a program, so the writer describes learning to enjoy the healthy p...	yanksfan51	6	716	Jul 8, 2018 by DavidG
	Ism Vs Non-Ism (Preview) Hello MIP Family, The 4th has Always been a Big Deal to my Mom's Family, its the One time year, regardless of the day it falls on, We Show Up, Same Time & Place Every Year! My Grandma in Heaven started it 60 years ago, she has now been Gone 30yrs this year and now My Generation Organize it while the El...	Jozie	6	1114	Jul 8, 2018 by Tude
	detachment (Preview) Hello question for everyone. I am fairly new to practicing the alanon program. My story is adult child of a alcoholic, very abusive, all that goes with it. I am a adult now. Rather get into all the details basically I have been looking for recovery all my life and alanon is truly the way for me. I have adult...	ginnyc	14	1008	Jul 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	The Program is Paying Off at Work (closed) (Preview) Today the folks in the next department had a b'day party for one of their coworkers. I've only been at the company a very short time but this gal has gotten pretty friendly with me. She was friendly with the gal who filled my job before me and tried to help her with my nutty supervisor. If you've been follow...	tiredtonite	19	932	Jul 7, 2018 by tiredtonite
	CTC July 7 (Preview) The CTC reading For July 7 speaks about how conflicts can surface in every interaction because there is a possibility of confrontation. The reading goes on to say that prior to program we thought it was important to assign blame over issues. This attitude can instill anger and make us defensi...	lookingup	3	659	Jul 7, 2018 by Lyne
	FYI - Might Be Helpful.....Neutral Responses for Detaching (Preview) While search the web for something completely different, I ran across this list of neutral responses...we have discussed these before and I thought it might be helpful to have them all in one place! That's interesting. Let me think about that. Thank you for the information. Thank you for supporting...	Iamhere	8	4672	Jul 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	OMG....he told the kids tonight??? WTF (Preview) SO, my bf decided to tell his kids about us breaking up tonight. They are in Portland staying downtown and he had planned a fun night of watching fireworks and hanging out downtown. It sounded fun. Instead he texted me earlier and told me, "Not sure how to tel the girls." I told him I'm sorry and that I...	andromeda	18	1041	Jul 6, 2018 by andromeda
	Now look what you all have done!! Grateful (Preview) I have a strong memory character and much rather have that triggered gently than to find myself in the middle of the sights and sounds and smells and emotions of when I first learned how to inventory the what the when the where and who what was my part in it. I don't have much of a defense against relivin...	JerryF	8	923	Jul 6, 2018 by JerryF
	C2C 7/6 (Preview) When we come into Al-Anon, we may feel that life has been treating us unfairly and that we deserve better because of what we have been through. This page in Courage to Change suggests that Instead of being angry about what life has given us, it might be better for us to ask what we can give. By reaching out t...	Freetime	5	773	Jul 6, 2018 by hotrod
	New Resentments (Preview) Hello MIP family! I hope everyone who celebrates, had an amazing holiday! I have been sitting with some feelings of resentment, and something just triggered them again. My sponsor told me to write about it, so that I could "release it." So I thought I would write here... I may not be able to release thes...	PosiesandPuppies	5	831	Jul 6, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 7/5/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses detachment. Detachment is suggested as the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs. This freedom allows us to keep our own identity and still love, care about and identify with the feelings of others. The writer suggests that our degree of huma...	Iamhere	3	856	Jul 5, 2018 by Pol
	HP and I on the hunt. (Preview) This text emoticon is/was real for me yesterday as We went on the hunt for my youngest son's elderly, deaf, lame pet Beagle named "Poke". My son asked if I could care for her while he and my daughter in law and granddaughters were in Guatemala doing mission work for/with their church. Poke is a jungle d...	JerryF	10	728	Jul 5, 2018 by mamalioness
	HAPPY 4th of JULY (Preview) I know for some this may be a challenge, but using program tools, we ALL CAN have a great 4th by remembering and practicing the slogan "keep the focus on us" My brother is back on shore, missing, undoubtedly drinking, but you know what?? I will lift him in prayer, do my thing..Today I will play basketball...	mamalioness	3	626	Jul 4, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	The Ending Has Come (Preview) Hello everyone, It's been a while since I've posted on this forum. But I've come back to try to find some positive words. I'm extremely depressed, my AH boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. The 1st 2 years of our relationship was a complete sham I found out a few weeks into the relationship he was a b...	starcatcher2	20	898	Jul 4, 2018 by starcatcher2
	Please Pray: rental I want and God's will (Preview) So, I have a problem. Rentals around here are getting expensive. While I make decent money, I don't make that much. Turns out, a lot of places want me to make 3x the rent in salary and that's proving to be hard on one income. I want to get out of here by next Saturday. I just keep praying that I find a way o...	andromeda	19	837	Jul 4, 2018 by mamalioness
	Today's Hope July 4 (Preview) Hello MIP! To those who celebrate American Independence, Happy 4th! I've forgotten my C2C at work, so today's reading is from Today's Hope. The author reflects on step eight and stresses that step 8 is not meant to punish us, but rather to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord. The author share...	Skorpi	4	678	Jul 4, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	How important is a Ring? (Preview) I just noticed yesterday (because I am not focusing on my AH) that he isn't wearing his wedding ring band. I asked him and he told me that he lost it working almost 6 months ago and was surprised that I just now noticed. I think i was more upset that he didn't bother to tell me when it first happened. Not so muc...	Godsdaughter	7	711	Jul 4, 2018 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.