The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Changing self-destructive behavior: The writer discusses the way Alanon helps us to identify and change self-destructive behavior, by learning to pay attention to our thoughts and feelings. He recognized that procrastinating was a bad habit which caused him anxiety, and by doing things right away, he relaxed and could enjoy the rest of his day. He said old habits can be hard to break, but the more willing he became to changing this unhealthy pattern, the more his life became more manageable and more enjoyable .
Today's Reminder: If I am getting in the way of my own best interests, a closer look at my behavior can lead to positive changes. By focusing on myself, I move toward freedom and serenity today.
Quote, Liberian proverb: Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped.
I probably could write a book on self-destructive behavior as I was quite the master of it. Some of it came from being in the arts, and some from my FOO. Double whammy I guess. It took years of work to overcome many of these behaviors, but some have held on into my years in program. I am recognizing them, trying to turn my fear into something positive, and strive to change these old habits into new, healthier behaviors. Progress not perfection! Lyne
Great reminder that my defects do hurt me, Working the Steps and looking at my thoughts ,and actions i can stop hurting myself and enjoy life by living by constructive principles. Great post thanks for your service Lyne
my self-sabotage was legendary; at leat to myself. I wanted to change the world and everything. Everyone around me.
there is a boundary line there- because I did do some good sometimes- but I had no idea where the line was.
I can relate to the solution today... even to the point of 'being present' and 'practising mindfulness'... I can talk about stuff these days- both past and present. And can communicate with others quite readily- without anxiety... so i have a much better balance. Knowing what is my stuff, common stuff people can all help with... and other stuff...
...recently I realised that i was alway attempting far too much stuff at once- and letting myself down quite a lot!
Having conversations helps with this... sorting out priorities. Being flexible.
Serenity in short- something I set out in search of- a long time ago... ...
Thank you Lyne for the daily and your service. Thank you all above me for your ESH and shares. I sometimes consider working the steps my opportunity to renew - shed what's no longer needed like a snake or reptile - by working the steps, processing the facts, looking for my part and then trying to learn any lessons.
What has really helped me is to consider what I am learning about me to others as well. Not only am I the sum total of my past experiences, so is each person I interface with. While I've been affected by the disease of alcoholism from birth the present, I have no doubt that others also have their burdens/baggage. So, when I feel uncertain, restless, uncomfortable or unsure, it really does help me greatly to pause and pray and then lean into the program for tools to help me in a healthy way.
Even though I practice, practice, and then practice some more, the unhealthy habits of self-protection from before recovery aren't far from the surface. Writing and talking about things with my sponsor or trusted program friends help me to consider healthier, better and different ways to process and move forward. It's sometimes awkward, uncomfortable and 'new' yet when I lean into recovery and try a different response, it has served me well.
I have heard in my life over and over again that, "I am my own worst enemy." I didn't understand this for a long while, and then when I did, I embraced it and not in a healthy way. Today, I instead consider, "I am my own best friend." I do believe if we work this program and use the tools provided, we can change anything we 'perceive' negatively into a positive.
Happy Monday MIP! I am grateful we have cooler temperatures for today and that my back is finally more functional...I can raise my arm shoulder height with minimal pain which was not the case a few days ago. It still hurts greatly when I cough or sneeze...so my goal is to bypass those natural functions, just for today...ha.ha.ha....Make it a great day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good morning and thank you Lyne, everyone. Procrastination is sneaky stuff for me these past years. So was and at times still is jumping in to do all at once. When some physical junk hit, it was a hard hard lesson on self care, picking and choosing my battles wisely. I cheated and used flylady to help me get back on track with my house. I swear that woman has to be an alanon lol! Each day since alanon I ask myself which battles will take off the most stress.....those that nag at the back of the mind. I am peaceful when my home looks peaceful, when my property looks peaceful and so forth. When I am not in PJ's and a trip to town or something else arises. It just seems that nailing those things leaves me open and able to give more and love more? It is still definitely a battle when there are good days with health and bad days but slowly it is making progress.........I am making progress.
I can totally relate to attempting far too much at once David. That was my way of life for well over 50 years. What a challenge to keep it in check and "do the day" LOL
Thank you, Lyne, for this share. Tude, I relate to how an orderly home gives me peace of mind, and is well worth the effort. In fact that's what I'm working on today -- some home improvement. I don't think it's cheating at all to use an aid like FlyLady -- it's smart! I think we need to use whatever tools work for us.
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